Thirst ask:

Kakashi & (fem) s/o - shower sex after a mission that almost went horribly wrong. feelings are raw, they can’t begin to find the words so sex is their way of dealing with almost losing each other.

Go wild with the sexy stuff, love your work!

hello, my dear anon! i hope you enjoy this angsty sad-ish smutty fic! it's perhaps a little different than your exact request, and for that i apologize/hope you don't mind too much. i tried to keep the spirit of the req alive, even if some of the details are slightly altered.

(also, i did not proofread this because i am tired, lol. pls forgive any small mistakes and let me know if you catch any big ones! <3)

Title: Look at Me (AO3 link here)

Summary: You and Kakashi return from a difficult mission.

Word Count: 2,551

Warnings: 18+ only, NSFW, fem!reader, hurt/comfort, rough sex, shower sex, angst, mentions of death

You had barely tugged off your sandals when you heard the shower turn on. Kakashi, regret and anger pulsing off his tense body in waves, had moved with such speed you wondered if perhaps he’d used some jutsu to quicken the process of undressing.

You sighed, deciding to allow him the time he needed to get clean and decompress while you focused on replenishing your strength with food.

The mission had been grueling from the start—an extended incursion into the mountains around Sunakagure to investigate a group of mercenaries being funded by a feudal lord in the region. Missions in Suna were always an arduous task—sand everywhere and oppressive heat while you had to ration your water—and this one was especially difficult. It was a hodgepodge of a team Lord Third had put together, a group of ninja who’d hardly worked together on a report, never mind in the field.

With the exception of you and Kakashi, everyone had been a chunin vying for a promotion.

They were eager to prove themselves, perhaps to the point of recklessness.

And that’s how one of them had wound up dead, with another currently unresponsive in a hospital bed, chakra network damaged possibly beyond repair.

Kakashi had insisted on carrying the injured girl on his back the entire return trip to Konoha. And, despite the Sandaime’s protests, he’d also delivered the hitai-ate of the fallen shinobi to the boy’s mother.

You’d stood behind him, stoic and impassive even as the woman wailed, collapsing against the Copy Ninja after hitting him mindlessly with half-closed fists.

And he’d taken it. Listened to her as she cursed the Hatake name, held her carefully upright even as she spit on him.

Kakashi Hatake was a man who understood loss better than anyone you knew, and he’d allowed the fallen boy’s mother the space to hate and grieve that no one had ever afforded him in the wake of his own losses. When the woman had finally dismissed him—you weren’t entirely sure she’d even noticed your presence—you reached for Kakashi’s arm as he brushed by. All you wanted was to rest your hand on his forearm, squeeze it gently just for a second to let him know you were there.

But he’d shrugged out of your grasp faster than you could close your fingers around his wrist and sped away toward his apartment. You followed, not at all certain whether he wanted you to.

Regardless, there was no way you were going to leave him alone after all that.

And so you followed. And now that you’d eaten a pack of instant noodles you scraped out of the cupboards, you worried your lower lip between your teeth, considering your options.

You needed to shower. There was sand in every fold of your skin, stuck to your dried sweat and sliding against your greasy scalp like pumice. But Kakashi had yet to emerge from the bathroom, and you could hear the water still running. Normally, you would have joined him without hesitation, but the negative emotions you could feel roiling off him on the walk home gave you pause.

You wanted to offer support. You yearned to comfort him. But you also didn’t want to cross his boundaries or overstep. The emotions of Kakashi Hatake were volatile and unpredictable, you needed to tread lightly if you didn’t want him to push you away.

Still…

He’d been in there a long time, and as the skin of your lip tore under the sharp edges of your teeth, your concern intensified. Deciding his being angry with you was better than him being left alone to wallow in his own self-loathing, you resolved to join him and ask forgiveness later if necessary.

The bathroom was so fogged with steam you could hardly find the shower stall after you peeled your uniform off, leaving it in a heap in the general vicinity of the hamper. And when you stepped into the shower itself, you had to suppress a gasp. The water so hot it was truly painful as the droplets bit into your flesh. You imagined shellfish had been boiled at lower temperatures.

Weeks in Suna had left your skin sensitive and dry from sunburn, and you wondered how Kakashi could possibly find the torturous heat of the water at all soothing.

Perhaps that was the point, though, you realized.

Kakashi stood, motionless, beneath the spray of water, giving no indication he’d even noticed your arrival, though you knew better than to think as much. His head was slightly bowed, the water streaming over his hair and pulling it down in a thick curtain over his face.

He looked utterly dejected. Pained and deflated in every way a person could be.

Your felt your heart scream, desperate to reach out and touch him.

Wordlessly, you positioned yourself behind him and wrapped your arms around his middle, resting your head against his shoulder blades.

It was a position you’d assumed countless times. Typically, Kakashi’s own arms would wrap over yours, warm and secure and grateful for your quiet closeness. But this time, you felt every muscle in his body tense as if preparing for another ambush. You waited for his mind to focus on your presence, for his body to recognize that he was safe and relax against you.

He never did.

Instead, he turned and grasped your face roughly, smashing his lips against you in an aggressive show of desire that nearly cracked your enamel as his teeth butted against yours. Your mouth raced to keep up with his, but his movements were relentless, and you quickly realized it was a useless endeavor.

Kakashi’s tongue pressed forcefully into your mouth, claiming yours as his own. You gagged a little at the taste; musty and stale, as expected of a man who’d recently traveled on foot through desert and forest with a half-dead comrade on his back, too focused to stop for water or brush his teeth despite your attempts to slow his pace.

You tried to utter his name, tried to slow him down, but Kakashi either couldn’t hear you over the rush of the scorching water or he wanted to ignore the concern in your voice altogether.

He pressed your back into the tiles so hard you could feel the grout between them chafe against your skin. And when one of his hands dove between your thighs, you were so surprised you knocked your head a little too hard against the wall as you threw it backward. The pain was minimal, but enough to peel your eyes back open to focus on the man before you.

Kakashi’s lips had abandoned yours, seeking out the tender flesh of your neck and shoulder instead. His teeth were dominant, insistent; scraping along the skin as he bit down hard enough to mark you.

You moaned, unable to separate the worry you had for him from the pleasure his hands and mouth wrought upon your body.

And when he hitched one of your legs up over his hip, your hands instinctively shot out to latch onto his shoulders and steady your body against his. Your gaze fell low, watching as he angled himself toward you, enthralled by the beauty of his body; the way the water cascaded of his muscular frame and the erection you’d hardly noticed as he’d ravaged you only moments prior.

“Look at me.”

You smirked, “I am.”

A hand shot out to grasp your chin firmly and tilt your head upward.

“Look at me,” he said as he brought your eyes up to meet his.

Kakashi’s mismatched gaze was level and intense. His natural eye was dark with something—lust or anger or sadness, you couldn’t tell—as the tomoe of his sharingan spun frantically.

Only a moment after your eyes locked on his, Kakashi sheathed himself within you with a single, purposeful thrust and you cried out, face collapsing against his shoulder as you adjusted to the sensation.

His fingers moved from your chin to thread roughly into your hair, yanking your head back with a motion just the pleasant side of painful.

“I said,” he punctuated his words with a sharp snap of his hips, “look at me.”

Kakashi held your head steady as he pounded into you. His thrusting was harsh, his pace unrelenting. And his eyes never left yours, staring deeply into your irises as he fucked you hard against the wall of the shower.

The water was slightly cooler than when you’d first stood under the spray, but it was still too hot—the humidity and steam doing nothing to quell your dry throat as you moaned incoherent syllables each time Kakashi’s cock met the edge of your cervix, fighting to keep your eyes open and focused.

Your mouth remained parted, as if gaping like a fish could help you catch your breath.

On one particularly pleasurable drag of Kakashi’s dick against your g-spot, your eyelids fluttered closed, only for the silver-haired jonin to yank on your hair again.

“Did I say you could close your eyes?”

You tried to say, “no,” but it only came out as a ragged, muffled sound not discernible as any actual word.

“You look at me while I fuck you, do you understand?”

You nodded, biting your lip to fight the urge to close your eyes again as he thrust inside you.

“Good.”

You wanted to run your fingers into his hair, to pull him close and kiss him sweetly. But he moved too quickly for you to withdraw your hands, afraid you’d slip without the extra support your grip on his shoulders provided. With one leg curled over his hip, and the other being nearly lifted from the floor of the shower stall with each powerful thrust of your partner’s hips, his hand in your hair and yours on his shoulders were all that kept you upright.

And staring for this long into anyone’s eyes would be uncomfortable, you were sure. But locking gazes with the Copy Ninja as he pounded into your body remorselessly made your heart flutter and skitter in your chest as if it was trying to escape.

Kakashi’s eyes only faltered for a moment as he came, pulling out of you just in time for his cum to splatter across your lower belly, dribbling slowly down your thigh as the shower did its utmost to wash it down the drain.

You leaned your head back against the tile as you let your eyes close, chest heaving as you attempted to catch your breath. When you tried to drag your leg off Kakashi’s hip, strong fingers dug into the meat of your quadricep and you gasped, head shooting upright once more as Kakashi pressed his forehead against yours.

“Holding back from me?”

You blinked, confused. “Wha—Kakashi, what are you—ah!”

Kakashi’s fingers once again dove between the slick folds of your sex, curving madly to reach the that delicate pleasure point within your body. And when his thumb reached up to rub furiously over your clit, he growled, “Keep your eyes open. Look at me while you cum.”

Your brows wrinkled together as you attempted to focus on his request as every nerve in your body fired. Your vision blurred as you trained your eyes on the Copy Ninja’s. Your nails dug into his shoulders hard enough you knew it must be painful, but he didn’t flinch, only continued roughly stroking your g-spot and stimulating your clit with a singular focus.

“Fu-fuck, Kakashi, I… ah… ah…”

Your eyes finally closed as you clenched around his fingers, internal muscles fluttering and pulsing around him as you came.

Kakashi’s grip loosened in your hair. His hand withdrew from between your thighs, and you were finally able to settle both feet on the floor, though the hip of the leg he’d pulled up ached. You faltered a little, only able to remain upright thanks to your hands still on his shoulders.

Kakashi’s body remained pressed close to yours and when you opened your eyes, he was still staring intently at you.

You licked your lips and swallowed thickly, desperate for a drink of cool water you knew you had to wait a while longer yet to enjoy.

And as your breathing finally eased, you asked him, “What are you looking for?”

Kakashi’s eyebrows pinched together briefly before he retained his impassive mask. “What do you mean?”

“You kept asking me to look at you. You wanted to see my eyes. What did you think you would see?”

You watched as Kakashi considered his answer, his eyes dancing back and forth slightly as he observed your face for even the slightest movement.

You moved your hands from his shoulders, finally, and instead brought them up to frame his face. You stroked his cheeks lovingly with your thumbs only to watch as the hard exterior melted away from Kakashi’s face in that small instant of tenderness.

His forehead kissed yours and his eyes slid closed as he answered, “Fear,” he said, “disgust, hatred, disdain…” he trailed off, still not looking at you, and you continued to stroke his face until he opened his eyes once more.

You could see the pain, so raw and fresh, clearly in his eyes and you gave him a gentle smile.

“Sorry, but you won’t find any of that here.”

His response was nearly a snarl. “Why? I hurt you, I—”

“You didn’t hurt me,” you assured him. “You were a little rough, sure, but no more than you’ve been before. I know you would’ve stopped if I’d asked you to.”

He scoffed and you shook his face a little in your grasp.

“I trust you, Kakashi. I know you’d never do anything to hurt me. And what happened… what happened in Suna was not your fault.”

He tried weakly to pull away from you, but you held his cheeks firmly in your grasp. When he attempted to look away from you, you made sure your voice was firm, unwavering.

“Look at me, Kakashi. Look at me because I need you to see what’s in my eyes when I say this.” Reluctantly, the Copy Ninja fixed his gaze back on you. The shower was no longer hot; the water drenching both your bodies now barely warm enough to keep you from shivering. You took a deep breath and you held Kakashi’s gaze as you said, “It wasn’t your fault. I love you and it wasn’t your fault.”

And when Kakashi wrapped his arms desperately around your waist, pulling you tight against him as he pressed his face against your shoulder, you were sure there were tears mixed in with the spray of the shower, though you would never mention it.

Your fingers were wrinkled by the time the two of you climbed out of the shower and made your way to bed. As the first tendrils of morning light began clawing at the curtains, you pulled Kakashi’s naked body close, whispered comforts falling easily from your mouth until the man in your arms finally allowed his eyes to close.

Sleep would help, though it wouldn’t heal the wound entirely. But when he woke, you knew you’d be there to gaze into his eyes and reassure him as many times as he needed.

🖤✨ Kanks for today’s morning doodle ✨🖤

Yummy 🤤

attempts have been made

Did someone call an ambulance

(via)

Rail me. Spit on me. Fuck me. Eat me. Consume me. Step on me. Kill me. LOVE MEEE

Thor is over now mummy. Walkies? Maybe? #dogsofinstagram #collie #bordercollie #redandwhite #gooddog #puppylove #watchingmovies #marvel #marathon #finished #thor #avengers #next #prettyboy #handsomedog https://www.instagram.com/p/BvHtwfYFRU2/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=7rwosn137eui

Sundays are made for the goblin king ❤️ #goblinking #jareththegoblinking #labyrinth #davidbowie #sunday #dancemagicdance #youremindmeofthebabe #babewiththepower #thepowerofvoodoo https://www.instagram.com/p/BvHHOdCFbeu/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cfrnz3iaxlpd

Just thought I’d let y’all know I’m still alive.... still fat ( the bf makes really good cheesecakes... I foresee it as my death) and still boring af! 😊

Working from 5am to 3pm is killing my soul litually sleep, work, eat, snuggle the other half and repeating at the moment.... did join the gym was doing really well but can barely drive home from work awake at the moment so been missing out for a few days now.

Thanks for reading this and pretending you care ❤️

fat girls are hella pretty reblog if you agree

Day out at London Zoo with my love ❤️❤️

Ffs so accurate....

Most annoying part of your 20's: Feeling like you're not where you should be, while everyone else SEEMS like they are.

I have done nothing but dork out over Harry Potter all week end ❤️❤️❤️🤓🤓🤓🤓

Spring time walkies with my fur baby ❤🐶

Here just a few Pictures to bring a Smile on your Face ~

Unusual asks ❤

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify 🎵🎵 is your room messy or clean? Erm both kind of. what color are your eyes? Brown. do you like your name? why? I’m not sure never gave it much thought 😂 what is your relationship status? Single! describe your personality in 3 words or less. Erm crazy, LOUD, fun what color hair do you have? Peacock green. what kind of car do you drive? color? I have a 62 plate Ford KA in silver ❤ where do you shop? Any where with sales man! So poor 😭 how would you describe your style? Out there… crazy, erm opposite to fashion 😂 favorite social media account. Facebook and tumblr 😖 what size bed do you have? Single 😭 any siblings? Just the 1 if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Yorkshire dales… so so pretty and I can actually afford to live by my self there! favorite snapchat filter? To ugly to use that. So anything that like dosnt make me look like me! favorite makeup brand(s) too poor to have faves! how many times a week do you shower? Like 3-4 time a week. favorite tv show? Naruto, rupaul drag race and Big Bang Theory! shoe size? 5 how tall are you? 5"5 sandals or sneakers? Depends on the season but probs sneakers.. do you go to the gym? Nope can’t afford that either! describe your dream date. Erm theme parks, beach, zoos anything like that! how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? -£100 what color socks are you wearing? Pink how many pillows do you sleep with? 1 or 2 depends how I feel 😂 do you have a job? what do you do? Nope 😭😭 use to be a dog groomer but my boss was the devil and is pure evil. how many friends do you have? Erm I don’t actually have any really…. whats the worst thing you have ever done? Try to kill my self… didn’t work though! This bitch is still breathing! whats your favorite candle scent? Ooooo black orchid😍 3 favorite boy name. Noah, Eli and Edward 3 favorite girl names. Matilda, Kitty and Daisy favorite actor? Gahhhhh too many favorite actress? Meh not enough who is your celebrity crush? Oh lord Jared Leto! Someone get me that man so I can lick his torso 😍 favorite movie? Any of the Harry Potters do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Harry Potters money or brains? Both? My heart says brains my head says money 😂 do you have a nickname? what is it? Nutmeg, megami or megz how many times have you been to the hospital? Erm a few 😂 top 10 favorite songs: anything David Bowie! do you take any medications daily? Nope what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) ergh what is it not! what is your biggest fear? Having to rely on help and no direction in my life.. how many kids do you want? 2 at most like max whats your go to hair style? Brightly coloured big mess 😂 what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) I would say like a large small house? 😂 who is your role model? …. errrrmmmmm what was the last compliment you received? That I look beautiful 😂😂 (I swear it’s the camera if you actually met me you would be convinced you was catfished) what was the last text you sent? “Why does nature and mangos hate me 😭😭” how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? I can’t even remember what I did yesterday! How can I remember that! what is your dream car? 1950s Chevy pick up! opinion on smoking? I don’t mind it.. I don’t smoke but it don’t bother me. do you go to college? Many moons ago. what is your dream job? Head stylist in a grooming salon! would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Rural any day!! More fields the merrier! do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Hell yeah! do you have freckles? In the summer 🤓 do you smile for pictures? Sometimes x how many pictures do you have on your phone? Like 80+ have you ever peed in the woods? Yup not even ashamed. do you still watch cartoons? Yep! do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McDonald.. ain’t no Wendy’s here in the U.K. Favorite dipping sauce? Sweet Chilli what do you wear to bed? What ever I can find 😂 have you ever won a spelling bee? Nope I’m dyslexic! what are your hobbies? Knitting, looking after my fish, doing my hair. can you draw? Yeah do you play an instrument? Violin what was the last concert you saw? Skindred tea or coffee? GREEN tea please ❤ Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbucks do you want to get married? Yep ❤ what is your crush’s first and last initial? Man I ain’t crushing on no one! are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yeah I think so what color looks best on you? Black! Like my soul do you miss anyone right now? My little sister do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed! do you believe in ghosts? Yep what is your biggest pet peeve? Ermm people not even know what breed thier dog is 😖 last person you called` my daddy ❤ favorite ice cream flavor? ALL OF THEM regular oreos or golden oreos? Normal chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Rainbow ❤ what shirt are you wearing? Harry Potter top😂 what is your phone background? Gaara from naruto ❤ are you outgoing or shy? Both.. I’m not even lying! do you like it when people play with your hair? Yush! do you like your neighbors? One side yes the other hell no! do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Both! have you ever been high? Nope 🙈 have you ever been drunk? Out cold drunk! last thing you ate? Baby sweet corn favorite lyrics right now. rock and roll suicide summer or winter? Summers! day or night? Day dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk! favorite month? September what is your zodiac sign. libra who was the last person you cried in front of? My aunt.. man my life is falling apart but she gets me ❤