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lilkumquat27 · 2 months

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Just a comedic one shot from my fanfic novel, ‘Arkham’ that I had waaaay too much fun with! Here’s the link to the story!

[Just a rundown, story follows Dr. Harleen Quinzel (Harley Quinn) who is running a clinical trial to cure some of the most dangerous in Arkham. It’s set in Matt Reeve’s universe. In this one shot, she’s taking a different route from group therapy after some devastating events in the last chapter and needs a laugh! Here are Jay (Joker), Edward (Riddler), Lazlo (Prof. Pyg), and Coralline (myOC Corrosa) all enjoying a game and things get a little raunchy and there is swearing. So be advised.]

One Shot from Chapter 9: Sticky Notes

‘It’s time for some laughs.’

Dr. Quinzel sat to the chair and waited for all the patients to come through. Jay was first, of course. Then following Edward, Coralline, and Lazlo.

“Hey guys, welcome back!” Dr. Quinzel said in an over-the-top chirp.

“Jeez…” Coralline irked as she uncomfortably sat down.

Jay smiled, “You’re in a good mood, doctor.”

“Hello, Ms. Quinzel! Your smile always resonates the sun rays of spring!” Lazlo greeted, loudly aristocratic.

“I’m in a good mood, because today, we’re gonna play!” She snatched her booklet of sticky notes excitedly, “The Sticky Head Game!”

Edward was always so quiet but looked along the disturbed faces of the others, (sans Lazlo, of course) visibly confused as they were.

Jay made a high-pitch titter, “the what?”

“The Sticky Head Game, Joseph. Keep up.” Lazlo scolded.

Jay breathed out, sniggering softly like he was on the brink of anger but desperately holding it back, “For the last time, Pyg. It’s Jay. JAY.”

“Of course, Joseph.”

Dr. Quinzel continued, “Okay, so, the way we play, something is written on a sticky note by someone in the group, then they will stick it to someone’s forehead, and we all need to give guesses of what the thing is, but the one with the sticky note on their forehead has to say the answer. It’s a great group building game!”

Coralline chuckled, “Oh my God, I know this game…”

“You do?” Dr. Quinzel asked.

“Yeah, I used to play it with my friends. You can’t give obvious hints. It’s kinda like charades but the person with the note on their forehead needs to guess, we all have to help them figure it out.”

Dr. Quinzel praised, “That’s right! Now everyone takes a note,” she began handing out sticky notes and felt markers, “do not let anyone see your sticky till it is your turn. It can be an animal, a person, an action, be creative! Try to keep it one word.”

Edward asked shyly, “We just hold onto it until…”

“Until it’s your turn! When it’s your turn, you will stick it to the forehead next to you. Don’t let them see it!” Dr. Quinzel couldn’t contain her giddiness, “Alright! I’ll go first. Jay, your up.”

She came up to Jay who looked down in discomfort as Dr. Quinzel stuck the purple note to his head and sat back down.

It said on the note, ‘Warden Javier Santos’

Coralline sat up in her chair with her finger wagging excitedly, “Oh! An asshole!”

Dr. Quinzel couldn’t contain her laughter as the guards at the doors were furrowing their brows.

Jay pointed to himself, “Is it me? Is it my name?”

“No!”

Edward tried to stifle a laugh at the last answer, “Authoritative. We see him every once in a while, in HRS.”

Jay spat, “Bolton!”

“No!” Coralline laughed.

“He is fond of tailor-made suits. He has gorgeous brown eyes!” Lazlo exclaimed, making Coralline grimace.

“The Warden!”

“Yes!” The four said simultaneously.

Jay took the sticky from his forehead and chuckled, “I should have had it at asshole.” He looked back to the guards and shrugged.

After the laughing died down, Lazlo instructed, “Alright, Joseph. Your turn.”

“Jay!”

“Just put the sticky on his head, for Christ’s sakes.” Coralline hissed.

“Okay! Okay!” Jay giggled as he got up and pressed his sticky into Edward’s forehead— who briefly removed his glasses and swept his hair for Jay.

The note said clearly, ‘Gasoline.’

Dr. Quinzel hummed, “You use it… it’s like… a necessity.”

Coralline interrupted with her finger raised, “America was built on it!”

Edward guessed (his voice a bit louder than usual), “Lies!”

Jay leaned his head back and cracked a laugh.

Coralline said through a smile, “No, no, you’re right but you’re wrong.”

“It tastes much better than it smells!” Lazlo chimed.

Coralline irked, “Ugh! The fuck, man.”

Edward waved his hands to his front and said, “Okay, okay. One at a time, go.”

Jay said, “Okay. I got a riddle for you, Eddie. Can be found underwater, turned to liquid to power. But when it meets a spark, it makes one hell of a fire!”

Edward blurted the answer before Jay was even finished, “Gasoline!”

Jay clapped happily with Dr. Quinzel as Edward took the sticker off his forehead.

“That’s bullshit, you basically gave him the answer!” Coralline whined.

Quinzel scolded, “Now, Coralline… swearing and respect. Come on.”

“No, he did,” said Edward light-heartedly, “That riddle was so obvious.”

Jay pointed to him with his thumb, looking aghast, “Take a load a’ this guy. Riddle lecturer.”

“Alright, alright. Moving along. Edward, you wanna stick your note to Lazlo?”

Edward nervously sat up and approached Lazlo, a large man but smiling like a child. Edward was jittery, and the room fell quiet.

Jay egged him on, “Don’t be nervous, Ed. Just imagine you’re taping up Mitchell.”

Dr. Quinzel flagged that comment, “Hey! Hey! Jay, not cool.”

Edward shook as he stuck it to Lazlo’s forehead, who smiled up at him.

“You remind me of my Garret. Such a shy little critter,” crooned Lazlo up at Edward, “Such gentle features you have, Nashton. Take off your glasses for me.” Edward quickly retreated back to his seat in visible discomfort. Coralline had her eyes closed as she silently laughed in her throat.

“So creepy,” she giggled.

Jay said aloud, “Hey, keep it in your pants, Valentin. He don’t play for your team.”

They observed the next note earnestly. ‘Whale”

Edward said uneasily like he wasn’t sure he should be saying it, “They… live in the ocean.”

Lazlo gasped, “The vampire squid!”

Jay blurted, “It’s a mammal, not a cephalopod!”

Lazlo said quietly to Coralline, “They are quite magnificent.”

Dr. Quinzel chimed, “Some of them travel together, some don’t. They are huge!”

“They can’t breathe in water, but they live in the sea!”

“They sing!”

“Oh my God, how hasn’t he gotten it yet. They are a mammal in the sea!”

Lazlo blurted, “A dolphin!”

“They are almost as huge as you, Pyg.” Jay teased, causing Coralline to wheeze in laughter.

The timer ran out and Lazlo plucked it from his forehead to read the answer. He looked up from the note and to Jay, “Huge as me? Are you fucked?!” He spat it jokingly.

The others in the circle were pooling in laughter. Even Edward was giggling into his hands as he held his glasses in between his fingers.

Lazlo stuck the note on his chest to continue the jest, “I expected better from you, Joseph.”

Jay exaggerated with his hands and in a shrill voice, “It’s not Joseph! It’s Jay! Or Joker! Or Daddy Mac! Please!”

“Calm down, Joseph.” Lazlo preened up.

Edward was in fits of suppressed giggles, but he weakly squeaked from his fingers, “He’s still calling him Joseph.”

Coralline’s face was so red it could have been mistaken for a tomato. Her eyes were starting to swell in tears against the heights of laughter she hadn’t spurt in years. Her stomach ached, her cheeks were sore, the turmoil of Crane wasn’t even considered. Dr. Quinzel was laughing herself, but seeing Coralline and the others enjoying the game to such multitudes was the cherry on top. The game was a success, and her anger for the system and Crane’s malice wasn’t a choke on her enjoyment. Even the guards were lightly tittering at the doors to hear it all transpire.

As the ab-pulsing laughter dwindled, Coralline and Edward wiped their tears, and Jay and Lazlo quit their jibes, Dr. Quinzel said to Lazlo, “Okay, Lazlo. Coralline gets a turn now, let’s see what you got.”

Lazlo was very content to stand and gently press the sticky note to Coralline’s forehead. She folded her black hair behind her ears to help him out.

As Lazlo stepped away from Coralline, Jay buckled into his high-pitch cackles. Edward tried not to laugh but did spurt a raspberry from his mouth before clasping his hand over it. Quinzel chastised but even she was laughing, “Lazlo! Come on!”

“I am a plastic surgeon! This is very appropriate!” Lazlo declared proudly.

On Coralline’s head it was written in bold black, ‘Dick.’

Coralline squalled, “What?! Is it gross? Like sex or something?”

Jay tittered, “Or something, yeah.”

Lazlo pointed his finger with his head held high, “It is… an appendage.”

Edward sighed with a smile, “I don’t know if I want to participate on this one…”

Jay giggled, “What goes in dry and hard, but comes out wet and soft?”

Coralline had enough of the male jibes and took the sticker off her head. She read it with a glare, but then her face lighting up in an ebullient grin, “You asshole!” She slapped the note on Lazlo’s forehead who didn’t phase by it. If anything, he welcomed it.

He said in a flamboyant voice, “Come on, girl, dick for you, dick for me!”

The room was a gaggle of giggles, wheezing, and cackles. Dr. Quinzel wiped her tears from behind her lenses, shaking her head. The game was a hit. Everyone was laughing and smiling ear-to-ear. Four exceptionally dangerous and anti-social people were showing a side of them she hadn’t seen or thought existed. What was a room of high expectations with such dangerous criminals, was now a group of adults enjoying simple fun with sticky notes and jibes. No expectations or rigorous therapy, just themselves.

#batman #matt reeves #dc joker #harley quinn #edward nashton #the riddler #professor pyg #oneshot #comedy #dc villains

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lilkumquat27 · 3 months

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Opening scene of Chapter 7: Twin Thing from my fanfic, Companions of the Dawn. Centring on Vilkas and Farkas, and opens with their birth. Hope you like! This is just a sneak peak if you want to follow and read the story it’s on FanFiction now! Please check it out and let me know what you think! :) https://m.fanfiction.net/s/14322778/1/Companions-of-the-Dawn

It was the 23rd of Sun’s Dawn, in the year of 4E 169. The reaching snow valleys and glacier fields of Winterhold echoed the agonizing screams of a woman. Deep in the depths of Hob’s Fall Cave, a pale Nord woman, with long black hair, and silvery eyes, was giving birth on the dusty, cold floor of the cave. A few other women surrounded her and patted her head from the sweat and attempted to sooth her. She continued to wail into the deep echoes of the cave. A set of robed men ambled into the room. A dark elf sneered.

“How much longer now? Our deity will become restless…” the dark elf man asked of the tending maidens.

A maiden declared, “Very soon… she works hard to expel them…” the woman wailed again and threw her head back in sheer excruciating pain. In an instant, sharp cries of a newborn were heard. The maiden wrapped the baby in loincloth and hastily passed the baby to the other maiden and tended back to the birthing. The woman still bellowed in anguished screams, then with one last scream, a new cry was heard from another baby. The woman leaned back into the floor dripping in sweat and wheezing of exhaustion. The maidens handed the two wailing infants to the robed men.

“Very good, they will do perfectly,” the dark elf man leered, he looked to the woman recovering from birth, “You did well, Vrailea, now rest. Your sacrifice will result in the most gracious boon from the Ideal Masters.”

The sweated woman breathed heavily, and dimmed a smile, then laid back to her bed of hay. The men carried the wailing newborns down deeper into the cave. They entered a chamber, old and crumbling, yet an altar still remained to the other side. It was lit in candles and placed with herbs, blood, and black soul gems. The dark elf man set the babies at the altar. Their flailing arms and legs kicked profusely; they screamed in irate cries as the dark elf looked down to them; apathetically. Two other men came to his side, where the maidens who assisted with the birth stood to the doorway. They all raised their arms in unison and began to chant. The babies continued to cry amongst the spell casting.

“Ideal Masters, hear our offer, reveal your power in Mundus. For we deliver the souls of not one, but two souls to your realm. Let their souls sate your hunger. Bestow to us your boon for our favour! We demand our souls to you!” the dark elf man projected loudly.

“Ideal Masters, we demand our souls to you! Ideal Masters, we demand our souls to you! Ideal Masters we demand our souls to you!”

The chanting of the cultists raised higher, as the dark elf man raised a blade to the crying children upon the table. An ominous purple glow began to circle the children. Suddenly wretched screams came barging into the chamber, halting the dark elf and alarming the cultists. It was the woman who had given birth to the children. She had blood leeching down her gown and legs. She ran into the chamber with unbridled panic.

“We’re under attack!”

Immediately the male cultists equipped destruction spells to their hands as the women summoned a flame atronach. The babies stayed wailing at the altar. A brigade of Nord men came clamouring into the chamber with steel greatswords and hammers swinging. They were led by a man with golden braided hair and a long shimmering beard. He charged through slashing at the cultists, gutting them mercilessly. The flame atronach threw fire balls towards the men, who raised shields to the flames and shot arrows true to the daedra’s chest. One of the men in the brigade sprinted to the children atop the altar and cradled them in his arms— desperately seeking a place to safeguard them. The golden-haired man swiped his blade across the dark elf’s shoulders— cutting his head clean off. He let out a victorious battle cry with his sword arm raised. The cultists were haplessly demolished by the brigade of staunch Nord warriors in sheer moments. The ritual they were performing failed, and the indigo glow slowly dwindled away.

The golden-haired man in steel armour stood before his brethren and spoke proudly, “I hope every last one of you is endowed in pride and prowess for this glad deed. We’ve ridden the throes of this rugged sacred Hold of Skyrim of this wretched necromancer cult. No more will people be stolen in the night. No more will their evil darken our shadows. No more will their filth desecrate the sacred law of Arkay, our Lord of Death and Life. We have honed the call and saved the people of Winterhold from any further damnation. Ysgramor and his followers smile down at us today from Sovngarde’s blessed Hall. My fiery brothers and sisters— my fierce friends! I am proud to be a Companion alongside you today! Hail all of you!”

The men raised their swords in honour and bellowed, “Hail, Kodlak!”

“Hail!”

Kodlak gloomed at the altar of the necromancers, as his shield brothers and sisters slowly exited the cave. Kodlak was approached by a shield-brother, with two slumbering infants in his arms.

“These are the children then.” Kodlak’s eyes wilted at the sight of the innocent newborns sleeping and curled up to each other. “Such disgusting evil— truly repugnant. To think they would impregnate a woman to sacrifice the children to their foul deity; it’s comforting these warlocks suffered in their last moments.”

The comrade pleaded, “What shall we do, Kodlak? We can’t just leave them at an orphanage and hope for the best. These little ones… they lived just in time to be saved. They were born into a world for the sole purpose to die before even experiencing it. I do not want them to live a suffering life.”

Kodlak pondered to his shield-brother, “What would you do then, Jergen?”

Jergen looked down at them and curled an enchanted smile. Their cheeks round and rosy with little button noses, swirls of black hair atop of their heads, and small breaths escaping their nostrils as they huddled together. Jergen swelled in tears at the captivating adoration for the infants, “I wish to bring them back to Jorrvaskr and raise them as our own. These little boys will grow up to be men. Living in our mead hall they will be the staunchest, most resilient, valiant men we have seen in the Companions yet. Let’s give them a life fit for honourable Nord men such as us.”

Kodlak beamed a grin, “I can’t think of a deed greater. We will have to consult our Harbinger first in the matter. But yes, I agree.”

Kodlak lightly placed his finger donned in a gauntlet and caressed one of the baby’s tiny little hands. He continued with a smile, “Let’s give them a life full of zest. It is our calling to help those in need, always. We should get back to Jorrvaskr very soon. The little ones will be hungry when they awaken. Come, Jergen.”

Jergen stayed holding the children as Kodlak turned his back to him and towards the exit. He stopped and looked back to Jergen, who still stood pondering at the sleeping infants.

Kodlak crooned, “My friend, why do you delay?”

Jergen uttered, “I’m sorry… I’m just, thinking of a name for them. They must be given names, no?”

Kodlak grinned brightly, “Yes, of course. What name is befitting to them?”

Jergen thought for a moment and suggested, “I… have always taken a liking to the name… ‘Farkas’. A strong Nord name for a lad. But I’m unsure.”

Kodlak affirmed gladly, “Farkas is a grand name. It speaks true strength and ferocity.”

Jergen nodded and smiled, “Yes, I think so, too. But… what of the brother… I can’t think…”

“Vilkas,” Kodlak pronounced, “Another title as serious as night but strong as steel. Farkas and Vilkas.”

Jergen beamed a grin and looked down to the children in awe, “Vilkas and Farkas. Perfect. These names will echo in our hall’s history for lineages to come.”

#fanfiction #skyrim #the elder scrolls #vilkas #farkas #kodlak whitemane #the companions #writing

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