jess-does-drugs
Jess Does Drugs
This is Jess: •20 \•bi \•sloths\ •MyToecold/Shane Dawson/Trisha•\••
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Like I honestly don’t understand why Arby’s gets so much shit like does fucking McDonald’s give you as much FREE FUCKING SAUCE AS YOU COULD POSSIBLY DESIRE? FUCK NO ARBY’S CAME IN CLUTCH EVERYTIME AND YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DISRESPECT IT
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My childhood teachers: You are ALL going to change the world one day! In this room I see the new President of the USA, politicians, doctors, therapists, doctors, artists (etc) don’t ever let ANYONE tell you that you can’t live your dreams!
Millenials: I believe this could change the world for the better
Baby Boomers: YOU WEAK SNOWFLAKES HAVE STUPID IDEAS HOW DARE YOU PROTEST FOR THEM IF IT AINT BROKE DONT FIX IT YOU KIDS KNOW NOTHING ABOUT POLITICS KEEP YOUR PROGRESSIVE IDEAS OUT OF MY COUNTRY
#baby boomers#millennials#snowflakes#but still kinda true#true story#true#history#fuck your comb over#change the world
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Every Episode of Dr. Phil Ever
Dr. Phil: did you do that?
Guest: I do not recall doing that
Dr. Phil: we literally have video proof of you doing that
Guest: yeah but it’s not like that and I don’t recall
Dr. Phil: listen here motherfucker
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Why the fuck is the hospital so expensive I can’t even afford to malfunction
#relate#relatable#usa#hospital#comedy#expensive#millennials#but still kinda true#true story#true#follow#instant folllow back
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Powdered sugar as a garnish is pointless and fuck you if you disagree
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Conversation
My friend: what're you smiling about ;)
Me: nothing
My head: tutant meenage neetle teetles
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me: man i sure am hungry but i dont know what to eat
brain: then just fucking eat nothing
me: understandable have a good day
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Other drivers: why the fuck can’t people drive in the rain??? It’s just water!
Me: it is called s e v e r e c a r A n x i e t y that triples in the rain you goddamn NASCAR wannabes
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reblog if you’re part of the holy trinity of unrecognized and dismissed sexualities
bisexual, pansexual, and asexual
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Is it normal to not nessesarily like kids or am I just a piece of shit
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As a kid I was so annoyed with the phrase “knowledge is power” but now I’m like
•do aliens exist
•what happens after death
•how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop
•do ghosts exist
•why was Stonehenge a thing
•what the fuck is Area 51 for
•what is the cure for cancer
•why are we here
•who killed JonBenèt Ramsey
•what does it feel like to die
•how did humans know to drink cow milk
•what did dinosaurs actually look like
•what creatures haven’t we discovered from the ocean
•why do cats purr
•why are small doggos so angry
•do we all actually see the same color or are they different depending on the person
#but still kinda true#true#knowledge#funny#relate#relatable#conspiracy#conspiracy theories#answers#follow#stonehenge#alien#cats#ghost#scary
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spongebob is a gay twink and he’d let larry the lobster smash him
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Final I didn't study for: what are the characteristics of life? Me: *shook* what ARE the characteristics of life? -success -happiness -a will to go on Final: metabolism
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