I come and hug you as if I'm a magnet being starved of your touch

hoping to stick to you for all of time to come

my roman empire is not knowing if we are a "to be continued" or a "the end"

when he can make out I'm not ok by the slightest change in my energy 🥹

thinking about that night when we built our own little world under the sheets

with him wrapped in my arms sleeping calmly

and my legs intertwined in between his with our breaths matching pace in a silent charade of symphonies

the way all my smile lines are highlighted every time I'm with him

It's just me and my traumas against the world

when i finally get you off my mind i meet you in my dreams and share a gleeful plea

requesting you to come be here with me

you come

but, there isn't enough time anymore

i hold on to you and wrap you in the tightest of hugs...you peel me away and go away once again

you have to

i understand it

i always have

only your name echoes in my head again and again

like a crowd in a sports match except it's my mind alone cheering you on and calling out to you as if you'd telepathically hear me one of these days

so many poets warned me about this

one of the worst feelings to be felt is when someone just falls out of love with you and stops trying and stops caring about you overnight and it makes you doubt and think that was something ever there?

i gave u my everything and it still wasn't enough for you.

"heere moti main na chaahu main toh chaahu sangam tera"

"I don’t wish for diamonds and pearls, I only wish for your love"

your hands lock so perfectly into mine

that I feel like our souls have also intertwined

a small rant on friends

what are friends exactly? what qualities does it take for one to be categorised as your friend? do we have different prerequisites for considering different people as friends? are we all a little hypocritical that way? friends are amazing. friends are funny in some ways

you may have 10 and 20 dozen pictures with someone u don't even like that much from the inside but just that one low-quality one with the one you love the most. the one picture they hate the most. the one picture u were asked to delete because it didn't turn out good and you never took another one. you may not have any pictures with some of your favourite people and it confuses me the most. how is it that we have only one picture and yet how is it that I trust you the most

why is it that u make the very best of memories with someone and a few months or years later have absolutely nothing to show for it? how cruel is it that only the both of us remember and really know all the beautiful moments we got to experience together...u will probably have forgotten most of it and the memory of the human brain will prevent me from remembering it all from A to Z. how is it that it can take months after months to open up and finally trust someone but only a second to strip all the trust and love away? why is it that all the things they said only remain a small fading memory in your head and parallelly you still have the painful pictures of people you don't even care about anymore? what sort of cruel irony is that? And why is it that the ones you give your entire heart to promise to never hurt you and promise to never leave but let you go the second things get a little tough and forget the things that they probably didn't even mean? why is it that you continue to still love these people and have a spot for them somewhere in your heart which would allow them to come back into your life and storm out again?

why is it that the most beautiful of friendships run on limited time and that how much ever you try u can never get it back again? and why is it that a friend leaving hurts 100 times more than any romantic rejection or breakup? why does it still sting me to not hear u call me by my nickname or even just my name for that matter? I'm tempted to yell your nickname out every time we pass but instead, I just look away or give you a formal glance.

why do I still hope you're doing fine and that you achieve all the good things u wanted in life? that all of the dreams u shared with me become true and all that everything you deserve comes to you. why do I still hope for you to shine and never fail in life after you bailed on me and claimed you were never mine?

why is this something I feel like I'll never be able to get over and why do u have such a hold on me after all this time? it feels like something I'll get used to living with and it will probably reduce over time but this ghost of you will never leave my side, the things that I said to make you laugh and all your silliness intertwined. why did we even have to become friends, to begin with, and why did u have to be the best person I ever met?

why are u the most selfish and egoistic asshole I know and yet I will always be willing to help with anything u need my help with. what do I do with all this anger this pain and all the love I have for you

where do I place it and what do I do with it

you already got out of my life now don't you think it's high time you got out of my head too?

the fact of the matter is that even when I wrote u 3 pages u didn't have more than 6 words to say about it

u picked me up only to throw me back down harder

leaving me more broken than when u found me

he's the calm to my chaos