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innerstructures · 4 years
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I cannot believe i’ve accidentally deleted this blog from photoladybug ugh!!! & Tumblr has no restore deleted post option!! & i can’t reblog from photoladybug, it being my secondary blog! Me angry now!
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Zapleteno
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innerstructures · 4 years
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Today's realisation – a major one
my life is what it is… it is not what it was supposed to be… it will never be what it is not…
this is my grown-up’s realisation it took me a long time to…
it took a long time for my life not to become and just a second of today for me to grow up
and give up
this is my today’s realisation – a major one i have to reinvent my life and by reinventing my life to reinvent myself inventing a life
a drifter can be whatever she wants wherever she wants why not – who can tell the difference?
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innerstructures · 5 years
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drifting between domains
impossible drifter
i simply drift here, like a piece of wood a stick a wooden stick sticking out of the water with my lighter end
if you find me drifting here don’t throw me away onto the shore for your dog to chase and chew
for who are you to confuse the perfect alignment of my drifting pattern?
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innerstructures · 5 years
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adress to porno tumblrs
do you porno tumblrs keep following me for the beauty of my art?
if so, do follow, i don’t mind
but if you just want to cry out your existance 
call out my attention
provoke my reaction
then please be so kind
say goodbye
and unfollow
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innerstructures · 5 years
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butterfly
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butterfly
*
She asked me with her curious childish eyes: What will you do when you run out of metaphors and you have nothing more to say to the world?
She caught me unprepared I have never thought of silence
So loud
So frightening
**
Only a child can say the truth in such an explicit manner hurt you so mercilessly and then untouched by your looks for pity giggle and run
After a butterfly ***
Don't break her wings! is all you want to cry out
but instead You remain silent silently hoping
the poor thing will manage to fly away to safety
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innerstructures · 6 years
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Away
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Away
I will wilfully wish myself away Mindfully into distance
Like a flow of air
Will be
A remembrance
Of a day past
But then again
Without me there can be no shadow
Even if the light is bright
if I don't come up
to intervene
Impose my flesh to the beam
Importance of me Rises
Like a plane Escaping
fire
A winged beast
My heart
Rebels like a broken glass
My bladed edge Your bleeding finger
I will wilfully wish your self away And I
I will stay
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innerstructures · 6 years
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Voyage
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Voyage
Je m'en vais ailleurs
Je m'en vais
plus loin qu'aujourd'hui plus loin que demain
Je laisse tous mes hiers derrière
et je porte rien
avec moi Ma douleur n'ira pas
Je laisse tomber dans l'oublie tout mon cœur mes amours mes amis
et n'importe où que j'débarque le jour se lèvera innocent
Sur la terre nouvelle je ferai le premier pas tout doucement sans me hâter
Ce serait comme si la vie revenait au début
Je serai une nouveau-née toute blanche et inconnue
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innerstructures · 6 years
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Bomb
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If I let the bomb explode in my chest,
will I be the only one to die?
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innerstructures · 6 years
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smrti
Sve smrti uzimaju komade mene
Otkidaju komad mesa Uma Duše I sa svakom dišem teže
Sve sam manja Sve starija i sve bljeđa Poniznije idem dalje
Sve smrti grizu me u pleća Gaze
A ja se borim svakog dana A ja se bojim sve to više Nosim sumnje i strahove Pored tebe
Dotakneš me Sa svog dlana na moj spustiš Zrnce mira I tišine
Bit će dobro Život ima mnoge tajne
I na koncu i početku Sve je dio iste priče
Do kraja neispricane
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innerstructures · 6 years
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discontinued
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discontinued
my hurt goes on uninterrupted travels like sound waves into an unforeseeable distance
tick tocks like my heart in different amplitudes
of screams
my heart goes on my hurt relentless disturbs the rhythm of my heart
beat
tick tocks
a flock of crows or inverted white pigeons impose upon the blue of the sky
heavens disrupted
my life discontinued at the moment i could not overcome
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innerstructures · 6 years
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your love
your love's a love that i cannot neglect a crutch i lean on
when emptiness overwhelms my presence shrouds my essence veils it in black and i as i almost disappear with the last shade of my fading self your love is a thread that pulls me back a speck of light that highlights my shadow into full shape with eyes and lips hands a heart every time your love's near i step back from the black and reappear
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innerstructures · 6 years
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klice
U meni niču klice raja Na ovom mrazu bojim se ugasnut će sparušit se uvenut će…
Nisu to klice raja To su jeke eka odjeci počeci kraja
Sparušilo se uvelo je sjeme nade neće više niknuti
Sada samo epitafe pišem sreći…
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innerstructures · 6 years
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Heart
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Heart
My jocular and festive heart Please do not drain all my tears out Spare some of them for the days when nothing but pain remains to remind me of life
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innerstructures · 6 years
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come
come expand your kisses over my edges delimit my confines if you break the boundary of my body i will stretch beyond infinity will become fluid like love and overflow every inch of you
until there is no space between us no space that is not us each and every pore filled in with us desperate to exile my self from this flesh i extend my faith i invest my hope i plunge all my being into you (Can you be…)
come (…my magic fountain?)
do not reject my surrender. do not distil me from your thoughts. the limitless i has the power of escape the strength to overcome eternity the joy of waking up
(with you)
if you are i will be your own supergirl brave enough to spread my love beyond the horizon and shield you from whatever may come
that is the life i wanted to live what i've always wanted to be-
come
a super creature endowed with an enormousness of hope and no fear
of being
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innerstructures · 6 years
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investment
iʼm dying. a little each day. and iʼm painfully aware of my giving up.
do you know how it feels when there's nothing to live for but wake up
and breathe?
when breathing becomes a burden you cannot shake off…
i want my coin back. this is not the life i whished for. i want to reinvest into another fountain. can my whole future depend on so little metal under such little water?
a drop by drop evaporates…
(nothing but dirt remains…)
this is not the life i wished for. this is not i who i wanted to be-
come
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innerstructures · 6 years
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Boje
N e p r i m j e t n o Me zaboravljaš
Promijenila je boju moja haljina U tvojim mislima Ona istu koju si zapamtio prvoga dana kada smo se sreli Bila je žuta na crvene cvjetove Kao i marama Od iste tkanine sašivena
Tu maramu kada je ispala u plesu si podigao Pružio mi je Uz osmijeh
Tako smo se upoznali Kroz crvene cvjetove
Danas su boje… Izblijedile U tvojim mislima Postale gotovo sive utihnule Kao miris parfema na okrajku uspomene Prašinom zakrivene
Zaboravljaš maramu Haljinu Od iste tkanine sašivenu
Zaboravljaš mene
Sasvim
sasvim N e p r i m j e t n o Odlaziš
U nepovrat
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innerstructures · 6 years
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Linger
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Linger
I lingered… Hesitated
With a slight pat of your hand You gave me a push It looks good you said But things looking good go bad You can't explain… Doubts oppress Depress into your skull
I made a move Stepped forward Stopped Stood still And remained Hesitater Lingerer
Has something changed? Did you say something? Was there a sign I should continue With you Or without You've pushed me forward You push me forward
Without a slight pat of your hand I would forget I am
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