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And I know, in a year, youāll forget Iām gone, ācause Iām not really something to be dwelled on. Thatās what they used to tell me, all those kids at school, so Iām going by the law majority rules
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he carried on like a soldier with a battle wound,āØBleeding out from every cut her body consumed
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ābut I canāt deal with the pain, Iām not a fighter.ā
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I always thought I wouldnāt make it past 16 and now Iām 23 trying to make it through the day.
The feeling of being a problem, a disappointment a burden and extremely unwanted.
The cycle never ends every thought I had back then still goes through my head when will it end?
Can I continue
Should I keep trying or give up and except that this life isnāt worth living anymore
Iāve made it this far but can I do it much longer
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Youāre the best friend that I ever had,
Such a shame I had to make you so very sad,
Just remember that you meant everything to me,
And to my heart youāre the only one that held the key
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Everything was always my fault
Nothing was ever right or up to standards
My feelings werenāt real had to hold everything back
A motherās love is supposed to be unconditional and kind
My motherās love was neither of those
Iām not sure if she was incapable of love or if she just despised me and my existence
What is a mothers love if itās not unconditional and kind
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āLook at me now are you proud of your precious child? She stood up on the chair and looked out at the moon tears of pain itāll all be over soon the chair fell down as she took her final breath itās all over, all gone now sheās greeting death.ā Her last words
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The feeling of being completely exhausted and detached from reality has become more and more normal for me. The anger I feel when I want change and thereās absolutely nothing I can do about it is killing me. Trying to heal is getting harder and harder, every time I start doing better, feeling better and actually feeling like life is worth living and pushed back down to the ground.
Is it even real? This life doesnāt seem like a reality more like a bad dream that Iām just floating through day to day. I feel empty, numb and confused.
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What if I told you
I wanted to die?
That Iām tired of living,
of being alive?
What if I said
it gets worse at night?
The thoughts get louder
and nothing is right.
What if I lied
and said everything was alright?
No, Iām not crying,
I swear Iām alright.
What if I died?
I doubt youād even cry.
Would you even care
if I took my own life?
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hold me once the drugs are done, and I feel like dying. i feel like dying.
@xdearcarmenx (via xdearcarmenx)
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Lately Iāve really been thinking about ending it. Itās been a constant thought Everything would be so much easier for me and everyone else if I was gone.
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She was tired.
Mentally and physically.
She wanted to close her eyes and never open them again.
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Would you kiss her lips
Knowing
A razor has kissed her wrist
(via wohoochild)
Would youā¦
(via ilikeurfaceeee)
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