I can feel my heart struggle with each contraction because deep down it knows that there’s not a single molecule in my body that wants to continue living.

Every breath I take hurts because my lungs know it’s not worth breathing life into a body that doesn’t want it anymore.

I died long ago. My existence is just a bad memory that you try to bury somewhere far away but it’s always haunting you.

It’s always there telling you what a fuck up you are and how you’ll never be enough for anybody and how no one will ever love you the way you love them and that dying will be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

Wanting someone 2 love you like you love them when you have bpd is so shattering

having bpd is like u do one little thing wrong and suddenly you want to kill yourself, you think you're the worst person alive, you think that the person you messed things up with is leaving you, you think they hate you, you're never going to be forgiven, they don't care about you or your apologies, they don't understand you didn't mean it, wait maybe they're the worst person ever, wait no im just crazy, why am i like this, this disorder is gonna make me kill myself one day. :3 ^__^

edit

Anne Carson, from Red Doc>

Wish I had the guts to fucking end it I’m so tired man

So hard to sleep when everything is quiet but your mind is screaming so loud.

I think the only way for my heart to heal from all the pain is for it to stop beating

My head is spinning and I’m just so confused right now and I don’t know what to do

I forgot how good feeling bad felt

The knife on my skin feels like drugs again

why are you so okay with not talking to me??🤨

“When you love someone, it’s never over. You move on because you have to, but you take them with you in your heart.”

— Elizabeth Chandler