hats-off-to-nyx
N y x
INTP-T × 22 = A fucking witch ( Virgo Sun )² = 0
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So many things that I wish you knew
But the story of us might be ending soon
Or did it even start tho?
Fck another Taylor Swift song to another boy
You might think I’m pathetic, but this is who I am. Pathetic, cringe, OA. You can call it anything but this is how I feel.
Before you, this guy had my heart. I thought it would take time till I'd finally move on.
But hell no! You came in like a fcking hurricane
Let’s say you were Travis Kelce, he was Joe Alwyn
The only difference between me and Tay is. She got the boys. I didn’t… lolol
J was who I thought would take time. Fcking dedicated almost half of Taylor Swift’s discography to him
He was my Cornelia Street
The whole city screamed his name
I thought he was the kind of heartbreak time could never mend
But fuck, you came in like a Maserati Mc 20 running 600 miles per hour
This story was not magical in a way I romanticized
Our story didn’t even start like the usual things I had
You had someone
You weren’t the 1st one that caught my attention
Both of us were strangers trying to survive what we call life
It was your second company, your second rodeo. It was my 1st
I had my own circle. You had yours
Basically, we're just workmates. Nothing more, nothing less
That was until one August night
We were on a trip
It wasn’t my circle, I just came to get a free ride and some drinks. Wasn’t really fitting in, but there were drinks xD hahaha
Unknowingly, while the crowd was having a world of their own, you sat next to me
I was drinking my fill, you were tending the fire
I really don’t remember how we got to that point, all that was stuck in my mind. Was the darkness, the warmth of the fire, the dazzle of the stars, and us talking deeply about things I worry about
And how you, somehow, eased that up
Didn’t know I had fallen already
Then that moment ended, it was bound to end anyway. You had someone.
So I kept it that way
However, this job was tough. It’s like a reality show, where it’s the survival of the fittest
We were dropping like flies
You guys were the only ones left, my circle was gone. But somehow a new circle was formed, it included us
I’d have my occasional meltdowns, you’d pop in to console me
Fooling around, funny similes. Jokes that only we can understand
But those jokes… they were a little bit naughty if I do say so myself.
Screw “little bit”, we both were green-minded (listen carefully you’ll hear me chuckle)
But somehow those jokes got a little out of hand
Somehow it took a toll on our feelings, my feelings
One day, you gave me some news. You’ve broken up with the girl you were seeing.
I wasn’t so sure of what I felt. I wasn’t happy, but certainly wasn’t sad either. I was somehow relieved. Fuck why?
I shouldn’t be
5 years you were with her, you gave your entire heart? Who am I to fight that?
But somehow, after that, we’ve gotten closer
What are you really feeling? There are so many walls, I can’t break through. Everything was so new to me, I don't know how to take it
But now, I want it to stop
Everything is so blurry. I need to be reassured
I don’t want to look desperate to you
When these jokes started, it was clear to both of us, we were just playing, but as time goes by, these jokes, these banter.
We were just fooling around, right?
Cause I don’t see the line anymore.
I'm dying to know
Is it killing you like it's killing me?
I don’t know
All I know is there are so many things that I wish you knew
But this story of us just might need to end soon
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August slipped away into a moment in time
'Cause you were never mine...
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So many things that I wish you knew
So many walls up I can't break through
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No one is actually busy
It's not about their schedule
It's about your place in their schedule
by some random person on the internet
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Dear ....
hi
The title of the playlist I sent you to catch your attention
Funny enough it did
You were nice... I guess, but made me fall for you twice as much nevertheless.
You didn't even wonder why I randomly sent it to you, only said it was cute and you'll listen to it too.
Damn, the effect you had on me was so huge. The mere fact you accepted my friend request sent butterflies bursting.
I was sick after exam week, Intramurals, PE day and some personal shit, but one interaction from you sent me smiling all week.
Talking with you was a roller coaster ride of emotions. One time I smiled too much it’d hurt my face, one time, my frown was so visible, my face looked like it was drooping.
Sending you songs I want to recommend for the sake to keep talking to you. You recommend songs back i'd listen to it until tomorrow.
My heart raced like it was in a marathon, other times it broke like bits and pieces like scattered stars on the cosmos.
My heart swooned whenever you talk about your favorites. How you gush over things you were passionate about.
How I really wanted to escape my house at dead midnight just to come to you and comfort you in your problems you cryptically relay.
Jokes, that I sometimes took seriously, haha sorry about that.
Words you wrote and symbols you accompany drove me in a whirlwind of thoughts
Candies, laughs, and you called me "sweet soul"
You had me wrapped…
But one faithful night I accidentally confessed
I feared I might've scared you off
It wasn't what I planned, being friends with you was already fine
You said we were totally alright, that we're better off friends, I accepted that
But...
That was the end
Or
Was that the beginning I started to open my eyes...
Tiny little red flags I deliberately ignored.
It was always me who initiated the talk. You only reply fast if the topic only interested you
You barely even recommended songs to me?
It was always me...
Did you really even listened to the songs I sent?
A tornado of anxiety came rushing in
What if you mocked how stupid I was. Sent it to friends to have them mock me with you. Laugh at how stupid and desperate I was. How pathetically bullshit I was…
But hey, maybe I'm just overthinking? You're not like that right?
Maybe you were busy. I'm sure there are times you can't reply to your friends quickly
Haha…
Here I am gaslighting myself again
Convincing myself I've never made you feel uncomfortable
Or that you didn't long pressed my messages just because I'm a person in your life as irrelevant as the stranger you meet everyday
That you just had so much to think about
I guess?
Well…
That was until one night, something cleared out my suspicion
It was another Intramurals at school. I wasn't a student anymore because I stopped to focus on work.
I attended because I really wanna see my friends
To see you…
It was awarding night, I saw you with your team waiting for your time to get on the stage. You were on your phone. So I decided to chat you…
"Hey **** you at school?"
Was I too desperate? I don't know…
But you never replied, even viewed my message, nothing…
I wondered if you didn't receive it, but how? You were on your phone the whole time
You only replied hours later
Haha fck that kinda hurt
Was I not even your friend?
But hey... Who am I even...
So no biggie
I only got to see you when we finally approached you... You were so nice, made me forget you ignored my message haha
But, I was constantly reminded of that, everytime
Like a a ghost
That kept on haunting me
I'm no one
Just another one of your admirers
It's funny because, you were one of the reason why Intramurals was memorable
It started with Intramurals, and I think it ended with Intramurals
So I wrote this letter to pour out my emotions. Instead, it made me realize many things
I’m merely but an annoyance for you. And I apologize for that
I know you have someone you call your “mine”
I'll stop now before I fall even deeper into the rabbit hole I dug
This is fine
Maybe it's for the best
It is for the best
So
Consider this letter the last
Dear ....
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Finishing up another letter because pathetic me is HAHAHAHHAHAH
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I fear the effect you have on me
you had me so attached to you
if it's not you, never mind everyone then
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Unfinished song
Bring me a poet I can sing his words to
His sentences as lyrics to the music I would do
Baby I can bring your poems to life
With melodies in each words you write
Now give a chance on me, on us right?
And your words would dance to the rhythm of the night
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A letter to you
To Perseus,
"I was enchanted to meet you..."
The mall, as always, was busy. Bustling with people left and right.
Then I heard this sweet voice echoing.
You were there,
with your cream sweater, a bag in one hand, and a microphone in the other.
Like a siren, your voice lured me.
I did not know your name,
but for some reason I wanted you to turn around. For some reason, my anxiety melted, and I foolishly tried to catch your attention.
Your eyes were magnets, pulling at my heart.
But I was stupid and ran.
I thought I would never see you again, that you were a blur in a fever dream I'd soon forget.
My friends knew you, and I hoped for a chance.
I sent you dumb messages, and you responded with laughs.
But three days later, you disappeared like the wind.
I waited; nothing happened; damn, you weren't interested; I hoped you just told me instead.
HUSOCOM Day, you said you were free. I was hoping to ask you to grab a cup of coffee with me.
My friends tagged me along, hoping to finally see you...
You weren't there...
I sent you messages again, stupidly hoping for you to finally see me.
Your replies were suspicious; they were lies as clear as day.
The last inch of my hope will falter.
I'll shoot my last shot today.
Last chance.
Before I go back to reality.
Love, Nyx
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REDUCE REUSE RECYCLE
"nature is already declining, will we ever survive?"
let us help each other to heal our planet before everything is too late
#GoingGreen, #ECOWarrior, #OneEarth.
credits to the owners of the clips used
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Welcome to the Philippines
Have a look around
Where all the students are drilled with schoolwork all year round
Schools expect high-standard students to always brag of
But deliver low-quality and costly education
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What if
dreams
are
memories
of
parallel universe
us
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