Mình luôn cảm thấy buồn vào ngày sinh nhật!
Lại sắp đến ngày sinh nhật của mình rồi ấy. Và như một lẽ rất tự nhiên là những ngày cận kề sinh nhật và ngày sinh nhật luôn khiến mình cảm thấy buồn.
Có những câu chuyện buồn đã từng xảy ra vào ngày sinh nhật của mình, kể cả cái ngày đầu tiên mà mình sinh ra đời, nói thật là chúng khiến mình suy nghĩ nhiều lắm. Mình đã từng nghĩ rằng thời gian rồi sẽ chữa lành mọi thứ, và có thể cũng đúng thật. Bây giờ mình đã sống tốt hơn, trưởng thành hơn, mình đã có thể vượt qua được những cú vấp ấy...
chỉ là sâu trong trái tim mình, mình thật sự chưa bao giờ quên về những ký ức buồn đó. cứ đến dịp sinh nhật này những ký ức ấy cứ ùa về, chúng lần nữa cứa thêm một nhát vào trái tim mình. có thể với nhiều người, câu chuyện mà mình trải qua chẳng có gì đáng to tát, nhưng đối với mình, một đứa sống nhạy cảm, mình đã luôn cảm thấy bị tổn thương.
Mình thật sự chưa hề kể với ai về những cảm xúc ấy kể cả là gia đình mình. Thật lòng thì trước giờ mình cũng chẳng dám chia sẻ gì một cách sâu sắc với gđ, có lẽ do tính cách của mình, mà cũng có lẽ do gia đình mình đã định hình mình thành nên như thế.
Vậy nên, xin hãy thông cảm cho những nhạy cảm của bản thân mình. Chỉ một vài lời nói vu vơ một vài hành động nhỏ chẳng đáng gì, chúng vẫn khiến mình thấy tủi thân, khiến mình nhớ lại những ký ức buồn về những ngày sinh nhật ấy.
Mình rất vui với những món quà những lời chúc, nhưng mình vẫn buồn vẫn cô đơn vào dịp này. Từ rất lâu rồi, mình đã muốn xem ngày sinh nhật như bao ngày bình thường khác, mình chỉ cần một cái ôm thật chặt, chỉ thế thôi.
Đời cơ bản là buồn nhưng ngày sinh nhật là cái ngày buồn hơn tất thảy.
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Theory: Why, Story-wise, Chihaya will end up with Taichi
I will try to make this short and quick: Chihaya WILL end up with Taichi, NOT Arata. The title of the anime “CHIHAYAFURU” screams it out. That is my theory, and I believe I have some pretty strong evidence to back it up, at least on a literary point of view.
So why should you care for my opinion? I feel like i have to maintain a sort of credibility to you, my dear readers, so here goes: I am a college student majoring in literature, and I analyze symbols and pay attention to details when i read a story. When it comes to anime pairings, I try to be as objective as possible, and see the story from a literary perspective. Basically, I believe that story-wise, Chihaya x Taichi is a much more practicable match than Chihaya x Arata.
Let’s go back to what I’ve mentioned before—the title—CHIHAYAFURU and why I think it’s the most crucial clue to my theory. You see, the title of an artistic piece, be it a novel, a short-story, a painting, a musical composition, or in this case, a manga, speaks a lot about what the story is about and the theme it is trying to convey.
In this case, the title CHIHAYAFURU conveys different meanings if we look at it through the eyes of each of the three main characters: Chihaya, Arata and Taichi.
Chihaya—the connotative meaning of CHIHAYAFURU
Words can have multiple meanings. Connotative meaning is the expressiveness of the word, or the associations that comes into mind when we use it. For example, the connotative meaning of the word “home” is love, security, and belongingness.
CHIHAYAFURU tells us about Chihaya’s love and passion for karuta. It’s basically the bulk of the story: a girl’s journey in competitive karuta and finding herself along the way. CHIHAYAFURU is “her” card, the card she first took from Arata. It is to her, the only red card in a field of karuta cards. Wherever it may be placed, she is bound to take it, because she is connected to it, as a soul is connected to its body. In a sense, we can say that Chihaya and CHIHAYAFURU are inseperable.
From Chihaya, we learn that passion, despite its drawbacks, will always give the person a sense of fulfilment. Our passions are us. Our individual passions speak a lot about us, about who we are and what we desire in life. We are taught that even passion requires hard work and we must not stop until we achieve our dreams. Thus, the connotative meaning of CHIHAYAFURU is perseverance and dedication.
Arata—the denotative meaning of CHIHAYAFURU
Denotative meaning is the literal meaning of a word. In our previous example of “home” its denotative meaning would be, “a place of residence”.
The title of the series, CHIHAYAFURU are the first syllables of a Karuta card that Arata once told Chihaya was her “namesake” card, a word that means “with deep feeling.” Both would always see that particular card as special, and representative of their friendship. Incidentally, it becomes Chihaya’s strongest card because her hand is always drawn to it. Kana later explains its true meaning as “a red colored love/passion that never fades.”
From Arata, we learn the literal meaning of CHIHAYAFURU. After all, Chihaya’s motivation in karuta was largely due to Arata whom she looked up to as a role model and example. Memories of Arata and the times they spent playing karuta, led to Chihaya’s “love/passion that never fades”—the literal meaning of CHIHAYAFURU.
Taichi—the love in CHIHAYAFURU
So how does Taichi fit into the picture?
If from Chihaya we learn the connotative meaning (perseverance and dedication) and from Arata the denotative meaning (love and passion that never fades) what do we learn from Taichi?
My friends, we learn from Taichi both things! He has both perseverance and dedication AND unfading love!
Taichi’s love for Chihaya is unrequited. It is from him that we learn about love and how it is to love. It’s when “things don’t turn out the way you want them to and you’re not having fun, and yet you still want to be with him/her.”
Taichi’s love for Chihaya is not mere infatuation, but it is REAL. True love differs from infatuation, for the latter does not see the flaws in a person, while the former sees the flaws but loves the person anyway. This differs from Chihaya’s feelings for Arata. Her adoration for karuta eventually led to her adoration of him, whom she looks up to as her role model, a “God of karuta.”
Taichi, on the otherhand, knows Chihaya’s feelings for Arata, he is aware of her eccentricities and yet he loves her whole-heartedly and is the person by her side as she goes to fulfill her dream.
Taichi has seen ALL the sides of Chihaya, and yet he is still, “hopelessly in love with her.”
So how do we relate the two meanings to Taichi?
During the meijin qualifier match, Taichi lamented over the fact that he was unable to take the CHIHAYAFURU card. In his mind, we saw that he immediately associated Chihaya with the CHIHAYAFURU card saying that “wherever it is, I ought to take it.” Losing the card was like losing Chihaya.
From Taichi, we learn a lot about love. Love is like aiming for the CHIHAYAFURU card. To get it, you must have perseverance and dedication. To keep it, you must have passion that never fades. That is what Taichi is trying to be all throughout the story.
So basically, we can see the two meanings of CHIHAYAFURU in Taichi. Of all the characters in the story, he is the most human and the one most of us can very well relate to. We feel his burden and pain as much as we feel ours. But just as Chihaya will someday be queen because of her perseverance and dedication, just as Arata will continue becoming Chihaya’s role model for his unfading love and passion, so will Taichi continue loving Chihaya for both reasons. And it will only take some time until Chihaya notices it, and might perhaps, return it.
That is my simple logic. Taichi only needs to be himself, and not try to be anyone else. Also, I think that until Taichi overcomes his insecurities, Chihaya will never see him more than a friend. Fortunately, in the later part of the manga, Taichi has become much stronger because he had gradually accepted his weaknesses, and we can see that CHihaya had started to see how unique he is.
Story-wise, Chihaya x Taichi makes much more sense than Chihaya x Arata for the following reasons: 1.) the former has gone through a lot of development, trial and testing, and is 2.) more suited to the meaning being implied by the title, and is 3.) more consistent with the theme of the story, than the latter.
So that’s my theory. Chihaya will end up with Taichi, or the writer might choose not to settle with anyone at all, but a Chihaya x Arata ending will be highly improbable. Arata’s confession makes no difference. A common love for karuta, is a poor basis for love.
If the story doesn’t end this way, either the writer is completely cruel and twisted, or I’ve made a mistake in analyzing the symbolisms present in the story. Perhaps when I’m through with my literary criticism course, I’ll make another analysis of this very splendid story.
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