(via https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5M6NlCbXSz01W2roUewmUW?si=9YOMLFWZQ4SDndksJ4vOBw)

I’m looking forward to adding more lovely songs to this playlist. ahh, can u tell that I got a crush on someone now? ahahaha oh, it’s rare for me to like someone like this. cupid and candy are my favorites, but I like my friend too I think... chungha sounds lovely <3

KEATON ST. JAMES (or @boykeats)

September Affirmation (Don’t Be Afraid), published on tumblr on 3 September 2016;

original photos and edit

i know you will

“[I]t is actually more expensive to be poor than not poor. If you can’t afford the first month’s rent and security deposit you need in order to rent an apartment, you may get stuck in an overpriced residential motel. If you don’t have a kitchen or even a refrigerator and microwave, you will find yourself falling back on convenience store food, which — in addition to its nutritional deficits — is also alarmingly overpriced. If you need a loan, as most poor people eventually do, you will end up paying an interest rate many times more than what a more affluent borrower would be charged. To be poor — especially with children to support and care for — is a perpetual high-wire act.”

— It Is Expensive to Be Poor | The Atlantic

My sister just sent me this image she came across. Is this milk? That's some cute packaging.

edit: Google is telling me this is a Russian milk brand but it's not showing me this exact packaging.

And the wind was knocking at my window…

#pascalcampion

sometimes i just get obsessed with how lonely humans are, as a species. we see faces everywhere. we have stories about beings living in the things of our world that go back as long as we’ve been telling stories. we’ve been sending our songs and dances up to the sky for millennia, and when we figured out there was something beyond our sky, we started sending songs out there too. we tell each other about fairies and bigfoots and worlds lying under the skin of our own. we name robots and look for personality in code. we tamed dogs to have friends to hang out with and we dream about aliens. we see life everywhere. what is it, exactly, that we’re trying to replace? what left us alone in the first place?

shoutout to all high school dropouts, students who didn’t get accepted into college, students who used to be on honor roll but became overwhelmed, students who study for hours but still fail tests, or student who don’t study at all due to depression/anxiety, you are all stars and I’m wishing y'all the best luck possible to get back on your feet

Babylon gardens, from Alexander Movie set.

🎨

Portrait de la jeune fille en feu (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma Frida (2002) dir. Julie Taymor Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig Emma. (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde Jane Eyre (2011) dir. Cary Joji Fukunaga The Love Witch (2016) dir. Anna Biller 

Midnight

it’s kind of pretty, i don’t have to wear earphones right now. It’s quiet, and I feel safe.

I’d say, let’s do it in our own way. I don’t know, I just realized that most adults in my life right now treats me as if I’m still a kid. I’m in my mid 20s now. I feel like we’re meant to make mistakes at some point. Isn’t it normal in this age?

Why do we have to be perfect? I know now, stuff that I hear about me back then- it wasn’t my reality. No one can predict the future. We’re only humans after all.

Anyway, I enjoyed my time today. I’m kinda just let my mind flows as I write this. In this quietness, I found peace. I know how rare it is to be in moment like this.

I don’t know what tomorrow will be like, but I keep on trying. The most important thing for me right now is to get better.

Goodnight.

[12th August 2020 / 11:53 p.m.]

friendly reminder: you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing

I’ll try to write again

Sometimes I wish everyone can see how frequent these bad thoughts pop up in my head. Sometimes I wish everyone can feel the throbbing pain in my forehead around the eyes because I’m overthinking. But it’s not like I can change stuff. My system is pretty much fucked up. And I’m the one who wakes up early to fix everything in my ‘self-factory’ 

I’m tired. I can feel that sometimes I don’t make sense when I’m talking. I don’t even know how to make it easier for others to understand me. What I can do is talking like me, although I’m constantly trying to talk to people. It’s still hard to understand me.

I had some repeated thoughts of I wish, but I really don’t want to write it down again. I’m so tired. I don’t want to complain about people around me again. I know how bad things can be. But, if I do rant about them then I’ll remember about my people would say, ignore it, just walk away- or anything like that. Somehow, I feel like someone would come up and told me to shut up, and to not talk about them (who hurt me) anymore.

I’m still trying to find middle ground after everything. The constant battle will always be here. Things like this might happen in the future.

I guess it’s part of being human.

[date: 6th august, 2020 / time: 6:38 a.m.]

but if things are like that, where is the middle ground? my natural tendency is to talk about my problems (whenever it hurts me too much). Sadly, it seems not a natural thing for people to talk about their problems. People would say, don’t post your problem in social media. But really, I don’t think it’s that good either if we only post our good memories. Just think about it, find the middle ground with these clues. I wish you a good luck.

[time: 6:41 a.m.] - people are dynamic, not static