greeneyed-jade - Tumblr blog

greeneyed-jade · 1 month

Text

CAUTERIZATION

When life gets hard

I get high

Smoke in my lungs

With tears in my eyes

Clouds of bad habits

Billow up at the sky

Say it’s unhealthy,

You’re probably right

But I couldn’t care,

It’s how I get by

Pain is a drug to me

I lack the ability to react emotionally

Pain is normal,

A common thing

Distorting the lines of reality

And even though I know

It may one day kill me

As lethal as it may be

I don’t ever ask it to leave

Desperation… to feel anything

I would let all the hurt, swallow me

And to explain it; there is no analogy

It’s all in my soul, you see

Nothing I could write,

Nothing you could ever read

Could make another human being

Feel just how it feels,

to feel absolutely nothing

03.17.2024

2:45 A.M.

He’s still in the county jail, they haven’t taken him to prison yet. Said his out date would be some time in 2028. I don’t see how it could be that soon, somebody probably miscalculated & I’m not getting my hopes up. I hope I can change in the years that he isn’t around. I hope I can get my shit together. I think I will. I know I will. I’ll be 28 next month. I wanna be happy again.

0 notes

greeneyed-jade · 5 months

Text

GHOST OF ME

I guess I’m dreaming,

about you

Don’t wanna see your face

But when I fall asleep

It’s something I can’t shake

The images of you

Everything I wanted us to be

What we could have been

Only exists inside my dreams

But It felt like love, I think

I guess I wanted to believe

But I was young and untouched,

Never realized I was being too naive

Your aftertaste still on my tongue,

It’s nasty, it’s bittersweet

I never knew what hindsight was

But now I see you perfectly

Everything was make believe

I fell into a love that would never be

But i still can’t help remembering

The way your voice would surround me,

Your laugh is engraved deep into my memory,

Your name is a scar branded on my skin for the world to see

And when I finally sleep

I have wild dreams

Behind my eyelids I escape my reality

and I go to a place,

Somewhere far away,

Where everything is frozen in time and space

When you and I were one in the same

But now I don’t even get to hear your name

All I hear is my voice echoing

Behind my eyelids I can see your face

But I can never get to you,

I’m always running in place

It’s a sick game to play

Then it’s over, and I am awake

You came like a plague

And I couldn’t see

All the damage that you’d do

And how permanent it would be

What are you, a man or a beast?

Sick in the head — depravity

Looking at me like a piece of meat

Something to hunt, something to eat

You crawled into my sheets

Slept next to me

What I thought was love was insanity

I never thought you were a thief

You walked right out with everything

My body, my soul, my sanity

You took things that are not yours to keep

And now my existence is only the ghost of me

She paces constantly, and sometimes I hear her sing

She haunts me when I’m awake,

And wakes me when I’m asleep

12.11.2023

5:47 A.M.

#original poem #poetry #my poetry #spilled ink #writing #dark poetry #love poem #poets on tumblr #prison #i miss you #rhyme #narcissism #ex boyfriend #relationship #original poets on tumblr #poems and poetry #spilled writing #writers on tumblr

7 notes · View notes

greeneyed-jade · 6 months

Text

THE LAST TIME

People tell me to stay away from you

I tell them to fuck off

“Tatt my name on you so I know it’s real”

& that’s what I plan to do

And we already got matching mugshots

I was just naked in your bed, I miss you

How’d we end up so far apart?

The mirror beside us was my favorite thing to watch

The last time we had sex, you were asleep in my car

You were mad at me, so I let you doze off

Two hours later, I leaned over & kissed your neck real soft

Like “hey wake up, I want you to take my panties off”

10.26.2023

3:02 A.M.

#original poem #poetry #my poetry #spilled ink #writing #love poem #poets on tumblr #prison #i miss you #spilled poem #words #hopeless romantic #one day

2 notes · View notes

greeneyed-jade · 7 months

Text

CHANGES

I don't think like I used to

Love was never my friend

Isolation was an answer

Losing my mind, I guess

Hijacked, robbed of my control

Empty mind, you can knock, nobodys home

Learned you quickly, I hated to see you go

You gave me a love I have never known

You are tangled into my soul

With you I’m safe, your arms feel like home

What I hate the most is you’re really gone

So my heart is locked up & you have the master key

Which means until they let you go, I’ll never be free

And sometimes your absence haunts me

Feels like I’m coming apart at the seams

A little dramatic? Maybe

But I can’t help what you do to me

Fuck being sad, I feel incomplete

Tell me how to stay alive with half a heartbeat

So many miles and hours left to see

Far apart, years between

The ones I love the most I never get to keep

Promise me one thing

When you come back

Please don’t ever leave

10.02.2023

3:07 A.M.

🩶

#original poem #poetry #my poetry #spilled ink #writing #dark poetry #love poem #poets on tumblr #prison #inmate #felon #prison love #I love my inmate #lol #sad poem #i miss you #love lost #heartbreak #heartbreak poetry

3 notes · View notes

greeneyed-jade · 7 months

Text

IDOC

People say stay away from you

& I tell them to fuck off

Let them talk & let them judge

I’m a fool for your love & irs just the two of us

Take a chance roll the dice,

Life ain’t fair & love don’t play nice

But me and you, you & I

As long as I got your heart, you can have mine

Space & distance don’t factor in

And I forgot about all the time you gotta spend

Away from me — locks & bars & keys

Miles apart but I still know your heartbeat

Think of me instead of the concrete

Go to sleep, sweet dreams

And when the sun comes up again, you’ll be one day closer to me

10.02.2023

1:56 A.M.

⏳

#original poem #poetry #my poetry #spilled ink #writing #dark poetry #love poem #poets on tumblr #prison #idoc #free you #I’m in love with a criminal #love during lockup #words #rhymes #rhyming #poems and poetry

2 notes · View notes

greeneyed-jade · 7 months

Text

ASTIGMATISM

I miss you more than you know

It’s probably bad for my health

But you know like I know

We just gotta play the hand that we’re dealt

And if that means we can’t be

Together, right now or even forever

At least I still see your face in my dreams

And all of our memories, I’ll keep

The hands on a clock don’t stop, don’t rewind

But I want to go back, when you were mine

You’re gone but I don’t understand why

I’m falling apart, why do you seem just fine?

All I see is us in my mind

You ripped the sun from my sky

And when you leave me like this

There really ain’t no sunshine

Asking God if I could just go back

To the exact moment in time

To the night that I met you

I knew the stars had aligned

—

We could have made it, right?

Does it keep you up at night?

Does it make you wonder?

Does it eat you alive?

Have to tell myself lie after lie

Or I’d end up going out my mind

And I know it’s not my fault,

But I should’ve kept you inside

Cant no motherfucking body say that I didn’t try

I would’ve laid down and died

Pathetic but fuck it

You were my entire life

God only knows how much of my soul went with you

I’m just a ghost you left behind

And maybe we coulda been fine

Maybe not, but I wonder all the time

And ain’t it Fucked up how only now you realize

My love for you was more than alive

Took for granted, Jesus Christ

Now all you can do is sit and watch it die

No closure, nothing

You can’t even say goodbye

Then all of a sudden

Everything is 20/20

Like damn, I should have seen it coming

Hindsight

09.20.2023

2:18 A.M.

🔍

#original poem #poetry #my poetry #spilled ink #writing #dark poetry #love poem #poets on tumblr #loss #love lost #i miss you #heartbroken #prose #idk anymore #i miss him

5 notes · View notes

greeneyed-jade · 7 months

Text

LOVE BRINGS HATE

It never comes quite at the right time

When it finally does, you don’t get to keep it

It gets you so high, but it’s fleeting

You’ll be on the floor begging “don’t leave me”

Like a drug you crave it, scratching & feigning

But that never really stops it from leaving

It leaves you broken & bleeding

It looks so ugly but it’s taste is the sweetest

Makes fools of once logical people

A war between good and evil

Love, what a beautiful demon

09.17.2023

4:40 A.M.

🖤

#original poem #poetry #my poetry #spilled ink #writing #dark poetry #love poem #poets on tumblr #love lost #loss #I miss you #heartbroken #hurt

2 notes · View notes

greeneyed-jade · 8 months

Text

CINDER BLOCK ON MY CHEST

In the dead of night, usually around 3AM

My head is spinning with thoughts of everything we did

And all of the words I wish I could’ve said — but I didn’t

Then feel like I can’t breathe, the guilt sinks too far in

I wish I could just ask you,

What could I have done to make you stay?

I thought I could change your fate

But the debt was just too much to pay

And as much as I hate to say

It’s just a little too long, I tried to wait

All of these years

Now it’s just too late

08.09.2023

4:10 A.M.

6 notes · View notes

greeneyed-jade · 8 months

Text

BACK TO PRISON

Tried to tell you when you leave imma be lost

Well here I am just like I said, staring at a fucking wall

I told you that you’d be gone

My mind is wandering & I have nobody to call

Soon I’ll just be numb to everything & I hope I never care at all

I did this to myself tho, I knew I was gonna break my own heart

You said you’d catch me if I fall

How could you give me everything I ever wanted

Just to turn around and let them take it all

Try to take it day by day, you tell me to stay strong

But I’m not as strong as you think I am, and just like my tears I fall

I don’t know anymore, I just sit where you once were and wonder where you are

I’ll never not think of you, and I’m always hoping that you call

08.28.2023

2:43 P.M.

⛓️

#poetry #my poetry #spilled poem #poems and poetry #writing #words #love poem #love poetry #prose #spilled ink #original poem #original poets on tumblr #poets on tumblr

5 notes · View notes

greeneyed-jade · 8 months

Text

i'm only truly happy when i'm too high to feel

when the world seems more like a dream & completely unreal

most days I’d do anything not to feel

let’s get high & drink, smoke, pop pills

i probably won’t ever stop, it’s my only thrill

feel better for awhile & tell myself to chill

it’s just bandaid over a bullet hole, this shit will never really heal

08.28.2023

2:31 A.M.

🌬️

#poetry #my poem #writing #spilled ink #addiction #dark poetry #original poem #drug addict #I love drugs #fuck u mean hoe

12 notes · View notes

greeneyed-jade · 8 months

Text

“The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.”

- Fyodor Dostoevsky, “The House of the Dead”

#mass incarceration #justice system #prison #America #prison reform #incarceration #criminalization #criminal justice #criminal justice reform #end mass incarceration #education not incarceration #social justice #broken system #racial disparities #institutionalized

6 notes · View notes

greeneyed-jade · 8 months

Text

Winter is gone & all of a sudden it’s March

Not so gloomy, not so dark

Today things don’t seem so harsh

Finally, you think you feel a little more free

Or maybe it’s the air shifting,

Making it easier for your lungs to breathe

The warmth sinks into your skin,

The sun is beaming

For a minute you feel at peace with things

Open your eyes, all that was a dream

Mind playing tricks on me,

The brain can be a finicky thing

..

And so the moments you thought were passing,

They turn out to be years

Something like “things in the mirror,

aren’t always closer than they appear”

..

She is easy on the eyes

Heavy on the heart

Toxic as cyanide

And her bite is much worse than her bark

She reminds herself everyday

“never show them how you fall apart”

..

You take my breath away

And not in a good way

Why do you make it hard to breathe?

Time has turned into my biggest enemy

Years of you I will never get to have

Years of you that I will never get to see

Promise that you’ll find me again

I’ll be looking for you when the time is right

I’ll be searching for you in another life

I get real high so I don’t think

Try to forget about everything

But these thoughts rush in like water

And just like a boat, I sink

Seconds pass and it’ll be a decade now

And I don’t know where I’ll be

Hopefully I can forget the past

And you can be next to me

Finally will feel like finally

And it won’t hurt to breathe

#poetry #my poetry #original poem #greeneyezjaded

1 note · View note