I have to face the simple fact that I, despite my best efforts, do not wish to continue on living. I only do so because of the notion that I could potentially be even more of a burden to my loved ones should my plans fail.

I want nothing more than to be free of these chains holding me down underneath this darken sea called Depression.

The amount of rage within me these last few days terrifies me.

This is not who I am, and yet, it is who I have become.

I'm just mere seconds away from taking someone's head off because I can't shake the darkness wrapped around my head. Whispering dark, violent and disturbing things.

It bothers me to no end, but alas, I am unable to take action to expel this new visitor, and so I must sit and suffer as he prattles on and on.

Is life really worth living? A question I find myself asking near daily anymore.

shoutout to my abandonment issues for making me feel like everyone is going to leave me. 

What is wrong with me what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this why can't I be fucking normal? Why can't I just fucking be me without feeling guilty? What is wrong with me what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this why can't I be fucking normal? Why can't I just fucking be me without feeling guilty? What is wrong with me what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this why can't I be fucking normal? Why can't I just fucking be me without feeling guilty? What is wrong with me what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this why can't I be fucking normal? Why can't I just fucking be me without feeling guilty? What is wrong with me what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this why can't I be fucking normal? Why can't I just fucking be me without feeling guilty? What is wrong with me what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this why can't I be fucking normal? Why can't I just fucking be me without feeling guilty? What is wrong with me what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this why can't I be fucking normal? Why can't I just fucking be me without feeling guilty? What is wrong with me what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this why can't I be fucking normal? Why can't I just fucking be me without feeling guilty? What is wrong with me what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this why can't I be fucking normal? Why can't I just fucking be me without feeling guilty?

THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?

Useless why am I so fucking goddamn useless? I can't do shit so was I put on this goddamn hellhole? Why the fuck do I exist? Am I just supposed to be a human punching bag for others to take their rage out on?

Because that's what I believe.

Or else I would have been shown what to fucking do with my life already.

Give, give, give. No one will love you if you don't give it all away. Give them everything. Money, happiness, health, sanity and stability. Give it all away or else they're going to leave you behind.

I am not worthy of your love, your time, your attention. Yet you stay. Yet you always stay.

Why do you stay?

hey ! the mood is: no one loves me

Someone give me a reason to live because I'm scrounging and not coming up with one.

I wonder, just how many people would care if I died tonight

There really isn't much keeping me alive right I'll be real.

Useless. Pathetic. A waste of life.

These are just a few ways to describe me.

My skin is figuratively crawling with the urge to hurt myself right now.

Like I just need to run a blade across my arms or something to satisfy it

Maybe it's the depression and fucked up mental health talking but I really feel like everyone would better off if I was dead

i am not good enough. no matter how hard i try, no matter what i do, i am not enough. i never will be.