My experience with Luke (Punz)

CW: toxic relationship, racism, dubious consent

I know in the past i said that i would no longer speak about him publicly, and when talking about my experiences with abuse and emotional mistreatment i begged to keep it anonymous but after reflecting on this for a week and seeing so many incredibly smart and strong women tell their stories. they have given me the strength to say his name.

this is really scary to talk about because of the copious levels of harassment i have received from his fans in the past so if this spreads or gets out of hand i will simply log off.

If you read my last post, i nicknamed him 1.

So aside from everything i said there, there were a lot of things i didn’t include because they would’ve made it obvious that it was him and it could potentially backfire on me so, i’m very afraid to post this. but i’m going to do it scared anyway, because it’s not fair that he gets to just go and live his life worry-free as if he didn’t practically ruin mine.

Because I already made a very lengthy post about him, i won’t include everything i said last time to avoid being redundant but if i repeat myself, please bear with me.

In our year long relationship i had to endure emotional neglect, gaslighting, verbal abuse, one instance where there was dubious consent, and much more.

Starting off at the beginning of our relationship, that’s when i was getting copious amounts of hate and harassment from his fan base (warranted or not), he decided that our relationship must be kept private. he said it was to “protect” me from his fanbase when in reality it was to protect himself. it was so he wouldn’t get all the backlash i was getting. this is funny because one of the things i got called out for was saying the B slur (derogatory term used against mexicans/latinos). I won’t get into the nuances of if i could say it or not as a puertorican because that’s discourse that does not pertain to this specific situation. But you know who definitely can’t say it? A white boy from Massachusetts. When i was getting cancelled for this and getting thousands of tweets calling me names, he decided that was the perfect time to say “I mean you are a b***** aren’t you? my little b*****.” Now, he said this completely unprompted. I was in the process of writing my apology and he just said that. I tell you this because i immediately shut him down and told him that there was no universe in which it was okay for him to say that word and especially not one where he could just call me that. While i was reprimanding him, he was smiling and laughing. he apparently found it amusing to call me a slur. regardless, he gave me a half-assed apology and said he wouldn’t do it again. and he didn’t. but this wasn’t the only time he was weirdly racist to me. this was my first time being in an interracial relationship so i was led to believe that this was normal by all the white people around me at the time. But, sometimes my spanish accent would come out and he would make fun of me and the way i pronounced some words. He also refused to visit me in Puerto Rico when i lived there or come meet my family when i really wanted him to because he “didn’t like the heat” or “it’s dangerous there isn’t it?”. Once, while we were watching season 2 of Bridgerton, he implied that the Sharma sisters were “too dark” for him to be attracted to them. This hurt me because they are brown skinned girls. I am a brown skinned girl. Then this, combined with the fact that he told me once he wasn’t attracted to me made me feel like my skin color was unattractive. These are only a few examples i can think of at the moment, but i’m sure there were more. Our relationship ended in 2022 so some of my memory is a bit hazy. But, I do remember feeling inferior to him throughout the relationship because he was white and I was not. I chalk that up to all the micro aggressions i had to deal with because i had never felt that way around white people before.

Another thing i had to endure was him constantly making me feel like he was embarrassed to be with me. Because i was cancelled, he didn’t want to associate with me too much. He did defend me on multiple occasions, I’ll give him that. But, he only did it because his name was getting dragged in the mud along with mine. Excusing my actions made him look better for being around me. In reality he didn’t really care. Because he was such a big content creator and someone i looked up to professionally, I took his advice as law. He told me to tone down my personality, to keep a low profile, to change things about myself to be more palatable to his audience. The same audience that spoke about me like “The pussy can’t be that good punz please stop defending her”. So i changed a lot of things about myself and my content to better suit what his audience liked. He made me feel like if his audience liked me, he would be public about our relationship and stop hiding it. He told me the reason why he wanted to keep our relationship a secret was because he didn’t want to get hate for it. But this wasn’t true. On my 20th birthday he went to Las Vegas for a twitch rivals event. That night i asked to facetime him to say goodnight and he refused because he was at a hotel room with his friends and he didn’t want them to know that we were together. It was as if my mere presence or the utterance of my name was a source of embarrassment for him. And he didn’t let me forget it. It wasn’t just a public thing at that point. He didn’t want people to know we were together, period. This was devastating to me because I would talk to all my friends about him. I was so proud to be with him and I was just one more problem to him. He made me feel so small and insignificant just because his fans didn’t like me.

He would berate me a lot. Not just due to getting heat online, although he did do that a lot. But in general whenever we would get into an argument or a disagreement he would always call me names like annoying or weird or stupid. He would raise his voice at me if i did something he didn’t like and call me an idiot. And that really hurt, i felt like i couldn’t bring up anything or do anything without getting insulted. If I hadn’t seen him in a few days because he was too busy streaming and i asked to hang out he would call me needy, clingy, and annoying. Granted, he might not have been wrong, but that is not something you say to someone you claim to love. He also insulted me when i was in depressive episodes. I have BPD and at the time i was not being treated properly for it. So, I was all over the place emotionally and he was what i clung to for validation, reassurance, and love. I talked to him when we first started dating about my disorder and told him that if it seemed like something he couldn’t handle that he could opt out of the relationship. I guess he didn’t think it was that bad or something idk because whenever i had really bad depressive episodes, he would tell me I was too sad to hang out with. He said that my sadness was a burden to him. Which would be fair. But, once my mother had a conversation with him about me. She told him that i am someone who needs a lot of love and caring. She said that if he wasn’t willing to put in that kind of effort into a relationship to just leave me alone. He reassured her that he would be there for me no matter what. He told my mother that he would protect me and my heart. He did not. He took all the warnings I gave him and ignored them and then made me feel like I was the problem. And even worse, he would say that i was pretending to be sad to get his attention when he would neglect for days at a time.

There were also some smaller things like the fact that he made me feel really guilty whenever he would spend money on me. Also, he would be really mean about my eating habits. For context, i used to suffer from an eating disorder. I was anorexic and had a really unhealthy relationship with food during high school and my first year of uni. This relationship began when i was recovering from my ED. For me, eating was really hard. So i had certain comfort foods that, while sometimes unhealthy, at least it was something to eat when i didn’t feel like eating anything. He knew this. Yet, whenever i would crave some of these foods he would call me fat. Constantly told me I’d gain weight from eating all that junk food. Saying that to someone with an eating disorder is crazy. Other smaller things were that whenever I would post tiktoks where i was lip syncing or just looking good he would yell at me and say i was looking for attention. Same with Instagram or Twitter whenever i would post photos where I looked hot. He never planned out a single date for us. I would beg him to get me flowers and he did maybe once but i’ll get into that in a bit. He would make fun of me in front of his friends to make himself look better. He let his friends say really degrading things about me in his presence. For example, once when i was showering, i overheard him on a discord call with George and Sapnap and i heard George say “if you don’t go in the shower and have sex with Andi, i will”. Once, when i was really struggling with my legs (for those of you who don’t know, i have arthritis and it’s very painful. at the time i wasn’t diagnosed but i was in a lot of pain) I literally could not walk. I had to beg him to take me to the ER because i didn’t know what was wrong with me. He didn’t want to take me but eventually i convinced him, and while we were there all he did was complain about how long it was taking and that he would have rather been at home streaming. Whenever I would talk about my interests that i was excited about like shows or books he would be incredibly uninterested and say that those things were stupid and he didn’t want to hear about them. I know all of these seem very silly or superficial but cumulatively it was awful.

Now for arguably the most serious thing i’m going to talk about. I want to preface this by saying i am just telling my side of what happened. You can come to your own conclusions about this.

On April 25, 2022 it was our one year anniversary, and i had made a dinner reservation for us. I expected him to plan something throughout the day for us to do. He told me he was going to spend the whole day playing Valorant so I got upset and cancelled the reservation. After a very heated argument, we calmed down and i asked him to come over. He came over about an hour later with flowers and drinks (I was 20 at the time so I couldn’t buy the drinks myself). He brought Smirnoffs and Trulys. For context, I am a lightweight. I always have been. I literally get tipsy on half a cocktail. And that day, I hadn’t eaten anything because i was in distress over our argument. So we get to talking and drinking. I blacked out after my second Smirnoff. Apparently I drank 3 but I genuinely cannot remember anything after finishing the second one. The next morning i woke up naked in my bed. I woke him up and asked him “Luke, why am I naked?” and he said “Because you didn’t want to put your clothes back on.” When I clarified to him that that was not what I meant, he got defensive and said that he didn’t realize how drunk I was. He proceeded to tell me that I initiated sex with him and that i was very enthusiastic about it. He said he didn’t know i could black out on three smirnoffs. He made fun of me for being a lightweight and continued to make light of the situation. Then he mentioned that i fell off the bed at some point in the night and that it was funny how drunk I was. I then questioned him. Because if he thought that me tripping and falling off the bed because i was so drunk was funny, how did he not know that i was too drunk? He responded by saying that i fell off the bed only after we were done. That day I broke up with him. I’m still really confused about what happened that night. I don’t remember anything and all I have to go on is what he said to me. We were in a relationship at the time and he says he didn’t know how drunk I was so I’m not sure what to call what happened. A while after that day, his friend that hmu while we were broken up and I started talking again and i confided in him about that night. He told me to be careful saying things like that because they could get me into trouble. I spoke to some of our other friends about it and they told me it was no big deal and that it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know how drunk I really was. Because I don’t remember, I have been led to believe that this is not a serious matter. You can think what you want, come to whatever conclusions you want. That is just my side of the story.

I want to add that I’m not proud of how I acted after the relationship ended. I felt really angry at all the shit he put me through and I guess a part of me wanted him to hurt even a quarter of how I did. So I started talking to his friend and got involved with him. This backfired on me because his friend ended up really hurting me too so ig i got my karma. But the thing that hurt the most is that because of what I did, some of our friends took his side in the break up. I was told that I did something terrible by getting involved with his friend that he was already insecure about and that he didn’t deserve that. These are the same friends who were witness to the dumpster fire of a relationship we had and all the things he did to me. They turned their backs on me because of this one thing I did. But stood by and watched as he treated me like garbage for over a year.

I will conclude this by saying that while this relationship has been “over and done with” for almost two years now, I carry a lot of trauma from it still. I still talk about him in therapy and have had to put in a lot of work to heal from what he did and i still cannot say that i am okay. I am very blessed to now have a patient and understanding partner who has helped me heal from that trauma and i just want to quickly thank him for that. Nobody deserves to go through what I did. While yes, it was a toxic relationship, and I had a part in that, it does not excuse all the awful things he said and did to me. This is my truth, thank you for taking the time to read it.

i really thought we'd hit rock bottom with how shit wilbur's response was but george has somehow already managed to be worse. can't say i'm shocked though.

support caiti.

About the current situation:

There's a streamer, Caitibugzz, making an allegation that some people believe is directed towards Georgenotfound. She doesn't name him, and the details are somewhat confusing, but people are making that connection. I'm not entirely convinced myself, mostly due to the number of people involved not adding up for dteam.

Her allegation is that while drunk in a hotel room in summer 2023 with several other people, he touched her several times, the first time she only describes it as "sticking his hand under her clothing and asking if she was ticklish" although she does not say where. And then "touching her in certain areas to make her lose the phone game that she was playing". She alleges that he contacted her on instagram, although no specifics are provided. That he left the hotel room at the same time as her, and asked her to get in the elevator with him, she refused and he left. She never describes telling him to stop, although she does describe being very uncomfortable.

I have mixed feelings on her allegations myself. She uses very flowery language when talking about things and colors statements without actually providing details, she doesn't actually discuss where she was touched at all and that context really matters. Like, a drunk guy poking you in the side right under your shirt has an extremely different context than a guy groping at you under your clothing. Or someone tapping your shoulder to make you lose a phone game vs touching elsewhere.

Without that context, it's really hard for me to know how I feel about this. If her allegation is directed towards George, and it's "while we were drunk, he poked me in the side and then tapped me on the shoulder to make me lose a phone game" then that's something I feel extremely differently about than "while we were drunk he groped me in front of other people". One can easily be a misunderstanding and someone not behaving appropriately while drunk and thinking everyone's having fun, the other is assault. I'd want more context there and for George to be able to make a response if this is about him before I'd cast judgement.

Hey being that I used to be a mcyt fan and some of you still follow me from then.

Fuck wilbur soot.

I do not support him or his content or band.

i will never support it again.

2 years on Tumblr 🥳

c!quackity where he is coming back from a night in the casino and he just wants some love from his gf, so he gives her kisses and hickeys along her body…

Left this fandom but this has been in my ask box for like 6 months so (since Jan). (i'm going to start another blog for a new fandom that i enjoy more than i do with the whole DSMP and such)

I also got an ask about why me and @/kitybur (pretty sure this is their ask lmao) don't interact anymore and all I got to say about that is me and Kity have both gone our different ways they moved onto a different fandom (I believe) and so have I. So please be respectful, go show them some love and to whoever (Anon) asked that I hope I answered your question (if you're reading this) OH WAIT... another ask also asked me if I was the person that Kity was talking about in one of their post and all I can say to that one is that I don't follow Kity anymore and I don't go stalking their account so i'm not sure what post you're talking about and if they are oh well nothing I can do about it Kity has her own feelings and opinions.

ANYWAYS ONTO THE STORY (all translations are from google translate so don't get mad)

Hoping to Get Lucky (it's short)

Yn sighed and closed her book before she glanced up at her clock; it seemed like time was passing so slowly because her boyfriend was due to return from his casino around Midnight, but the time now read 3:00 Am. Yn sighed and got to her feet, dropping her book on the couch before heading to their bedroom, where she laid on Quackity's side and turned out the bedside lamp.

Soon after falling asleep, Yn was woken up by kisses on her thighs and then her belly. "Well hello to you too," Yn remarked in a snarky tone as she glared down and saw her boyfriend's ridiculous beanie. "Sorry mi amour, I didn't mean to stay out so long," Quackity said with a pout as he looked up and met Yn's e/c eyes. Yn frowned and crossed her arms.

Quackity said in between kisses, "Mi amor por favour lo siento." Yn simply shrugged and turned her face away from her boyfriend, who then sat up next to her and kissed her cheek, muttering, "Conejita, por favor, lamento no haber querido quedarme fuera tan tarde." Yn then glared at him from the corner of her eye before turning her body completely away from him.

Yn grumbled, "Quackity, please just go to sleep," as Quackity moved his hand up and down her shoulder before bending down and kissing her neck, down over her shoulder, and down to her hand, which he took up and held so he could kiss the back of it. Quackity frowned as he saw his girlfriend close her eyes. He sighed and hugged her, Yn broke the silence, "I bet you were hoping to get lucky, huh." Smiling uncontrollably, Quackity leaned in and gave his girlfriend a quick head kiss "just a little mi amor."

The Final Goodbye

Hey guys as you may have noticed I have slowly been updating less and less so I'm here to finally give you an explanation to that. As many of you may know the DSMP fandom has slowly been burning out, and hasn’t been feeling like it used to when the DSMP first got started. Now the DSMP is finally over or at least for me there are still lots of fanfic writers out there still posting and writing, but sadly I am no longer apart of that, I have officially moved on to a new fandom. This does not mean I'm never going to post ever again or never write again this just means I’m taking a break of the DSMP Fandom. 

I’m not shutting down this account so all of my followers or any readers out there can still come back to this account, and disappear into the world that is the DSMP with all their favorite characters. That being said if I have wrote any fanfics with certain pronouns (e.g. She/her) and you go by any others I will gladly post ones with your pronouns if you send me an ask! (or if you wanna just chat they’re open!)

So to all my 252 followers, and anyone that stumbles onto this

Thank you for reading my silly little fanfics  Thank you for boosting me  and Thank you for just being you.

Goodbye my Darlings until we meet again 

07

Hi :D

Hello! :)

Hey! I was wondering if you could do a platonic C!Technoblade x male reader? Like maybe the reader is a mentor to him.one day the voices are really bad and whilst they are training techno hurts the reader really bad. Philza was watching and went to help the reader after techno ran away. He kinda isolates himself for awhile. Then like a week or so later the reader hunts him down to say it was alright or something. Angst to fluff- sorry for such a long request ^ ^”””

:D AHHHHHHHH I LOVE YOU the request wasnt long at all it actually helps if i get longer request! Tw: Violence

Mentor

"Deep Breath Techno, connect with the dirt, connect with the grass, the air, and yourself," Yn murmured as he inhaled the chilly air. When Techno didn't respond, Yn opened his e/c eyes and peered over. Technoblade was standing there with his back to him, and Yn could tell that he was tense. "You won't get any better at controlling them if you don't at least try," Yn added as he stepped towards the piglin hybrid.

"Techno?" Yn asked as he put his hand on Techno's shoulder. As he pushed around Techno's bulkier form, Yn's eyes narrowed. Techno's eyes were tightly shut, and his hands were curled into balls as if he were suffering from a headache.

Techno's red eyes stared deeply into Yn's e/c ones as Yn reached out to touch his face, but his wrist was quickly caught, causing Yn to stumble back slightly. "Techno, please let go," Yn yelled. Techno then pushed Yn to the ground and jumped onto him, raising his hand and slashing Yn across the face.

"Techno Mate!"  Phil yelled in the background. Yn felt their head beginning to feel dizzy and saw that everything around them was spinning. All Yn could hear as Technoblade's weight suddenly vanished was Phil's shouting in the distance and Techno's foot pounding on the ground. When Yn turned his head, he saw the piglin running from him.

---- im so sorry i couldn’t finish this but i’ve been so busy and un motivated with everything i’ll try my best to pick this back up and finish it in the future

PLEASE SOMEONE SEND ME A REQUEST I WANT TO WRITE SO BAD

(idk y it wemt 1.)

Thanks @kitybur for writing this for me Hi guys it’s Spade im not able to write and haven’t been because my laptop is broken but im trying to get it fixed or get something else to write on Remember that i love you hunnys

quackity from las nevadas

Loud Neighbour

i go back to school in like 4 days T^T ----

Yn grumbled and flipped over on her bed, grabbed her pillow and throwing it over her head. Yn muttered and threw the pillow, then jumped up and stormed out of her apartment. "I'm very sorry to bother you, but could you keep it down? I have work early in the morn-" Brown eyes gazed down at her in quilt, causing her heart to clench. 

"Sorry, ma'am, I didn't realize I was so loud."  Yn immediately recognized the British accent, which made the man in front of her even more attractive. Yn attempted to speak but nothing came out of her mouth, so she just nodded and sped back to her apartment. When she arrived, she slammed the door and leaned against it with her hands reaching up and touching her now-hot cheeks.

Yn sprinted to her bed, jumped on it, grabbed a pillow, and buried her face in it before screaming. 'He's so cute,' Yn thought to herself as she kicked her legs and bit her lip. Before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep, Yn relaxed while allowing her mind to wander. As she did so, images of the loud neighbor appeared to nearly dance in her head

---

.Yn was happy when she awoke. Before rolling off and collapsing onto the pile of blankets and a few cushions, Yn kicked the blankets off of her and onto the floor. Yn leapt up and hurried to the bathroom, turning on the shower's water to warm it up while brushing her teeth.

---u all know how showers work right? if you’ve been putting off one for reason like you just cant try ik you got this darling---

When Yn turned off the water and wrapped a towel over herself in her small apartment, she heard a quiet knock. Thinking it was just the pipes, she ignored it as she made her way to her bedroom. As she did, the knock sounded once more, this time a little louder. The tall neighbor was there when Yn sighed and went to open the front door. She watched as he talked on and on about something, but she didn't catch a word he said. He has got a pink color on his cheeks and the tips of his ears, which Yn has noticed.

Yn smiled and put her hand on his arm making him freeze.

"What did you need?" Yn gently asked, looking at the tall man. "Um, oh, I just needed some sugar," he replied, scratching the back of his neck. Yn waved her hand at him and nodded, encouraging him to follow her. "The sugar is right here Mr.," she said as she pushed open the door and disappeared into her kitchen. "Soot Wilbur Soot" Yn smiled at him, "Ln Yn Ln."

hi spade my love !!! it’s 2:47am rn so firstly, can you tell me to sleep ⁉️ secondly, could you pretty please write a short blurb for quackity about him and the readers first kiss? like it’s really soft and sweet and warm 🥲. she/they pronouns !! #goingtocrynow

okay ty i love u <33

;)

my laptop was more broken then a middle school emo soooo IM BACK NOW DOE till it breaks again

Drunken Kisses a Blurb

"Yn," Quackity started whining as he set down his wine glass and turned to his best friend. "Quackityyy," Yn responded with a giggle. "Yn," Quackity said with a smile as he turned towards her and just stared at her. "What Quackity?" Yn asked poutingly. Quackity shrugged and wrapped his arms around Yn's waist and laid his head on her stomach.

Yn took her glass in hand. She had reached the third or, she wasn't sure, the fourth glass? maybe. Yn took a sip, prompting Quackity to whine once more, causing the girl to roll her eyes and glance down at him. "Yn" Quackity pouted, "may I have some?" and bit his bottom lip. Yn nodded and offered him her drink, but he leaned in and kissed her instead. Yn's glass dropped to the floor after slipping from her fingers.

Quackity pulled Yn closer to her as she quickly tangled their fingers in his hair under his beanie. Yn's body felt hot, and the only spots that felt cold were were Quackity would touch her.   Quackity watched as she bit her lip while grinning and pulling away. "Yn," Quackity whispered, drawing the girl's attention. "Yeah Quack?" she whispered back, gazing into Quackity's dark brown eyes that were glazed over from the wine.

"You're so pretty," he said, kissing Yn's nose, causing her to giggle. "You're pretty too Quackity," she shot back, playing with his hair before trailing their hand down to his jaw and brushing her thumb against under his eyes. He closed his eyes and leaned into Yn's hand, "Quackity." Quackity hummed and opened his eyes, "Yea pretty baby?" he answered

Leaning up, Yn whispered, "Kiss me again," Quackity smiled and responded, "Gladly." connecting their lips once again.

hello! this isn’t the account i write on, i write on @simpxrainex BUT i’d like to enter your writing event with c!techno and the childhood friends to lovers/enemies trope if that’s still available!!

yes, it is still available.!  I'll put in your username right now; I can't wait to read what you write!

thanks for entering <333

Spade’s Writing Event

HI, MY BABIES celebration of 200 followers I decide to host a writing event, and the only rule is that there will be no NSFW (smut).

As long as you're a writer, anyone can join! The writing must be longer than 500 words in order to be submitted. submit by September 1st it must be shared using the hashtag #spade's writing event, whether it be headcanons or a whole story. To let me know what prompt you're picking and what kind of character you're writing for, shoot me a dm or ask. (For instance, "Hello, I'd Like to Write for... with....") The character MUST be a form of: !cc is content creater (irl) !c is character (rp) c!Techno c!/cc!Wilbur c!/cc!george c!/cc!sapnap c!/cc!dream (or DREAMXD) c!/cc!Tommy (PLATONIC ONLY) c!/cc!Tubbo (PLATONIC ONLY) c!/cc!Ranboo(PLATONIC ONLY) c!/cc!corpse OTHERS ARE WELCOME 

Prompts (opt):

~enemies to friends/lovers trope @dsmpsstuff with cc!Dream

~friends to lovers trope @magicalgirlmadoka with c!Techno ~childhood friends to lovers/enemies trope @simpxrainex with c!Techno

~hurt to comfort trope

~school rivals to friends/lovers trope

~ long distance friends/lovers trope

~ coffee shop/bakery au

~folklore au (mythical creatures, etc.)

~ royal au

~school/college au

~ lovers to enemies to lovers

@kitybur with cc!Wilbur

okay whoever is sending the asks about corpse, don’t pin this all on spade. spade has a right to post for who they want and can support who they want. we get it you’re trying to tell about what corpse has said, but ultimately it’s spades decision to what she wants to do with it. <3

Thanks baby <33 It has been six years, people change, and Crops was just 18 at the time, he probably didn't know. people make mistakes it's normal

edit: now if thats over im gonna finish writing my fic  edit 2: anyother ask related to this topic will be deleted <3