evirlihs - Tumblr blog

evirlihs · 27 days

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Hello everyone, so I've been meaning to make a post about... something very major in the future, that'll explain further inactivity and because I've been keeping it a secret for a while, especially in this specific website because this is my safe space website, but well... can't ignore it anymore I suppose.

TW FOR: surgery, death mentions, possible E/D mentions but briefly.

so, I've been mute since childhood, not even childhood but since I was a baby, I can't talk, I've been like this my whole life without a voice, I use sign language and writing as a way to talk and communicate to everyone but... yeah as every other disabled person it's difficult, everyone ignores you, everyone treats you like a major burden, it wasn't fun these 18 years treated like this, I don't know what I've done to deserve this treatment from everyone

so eventually, I fell in a deep deep depression and developed an... eating disorder, bulimia to be exact, I've had an eating disorder for over four years now, I looked through pinterest for images to make myself feel guilty for being... me, I thought, since I can't express myself, maybe if I looked like someone else people wouldn't treat me awfully? but unfortunately that ruined my life, and my health. especially my heart.

a few months ago, like let's say three or four, i went to the hospital because I passed out, and apparently, I had gotten heart issues for this, it got so bad to the point of me needing to stay forced awake so my heart doesn't completely stop, they'd wake me up from sleep too so mu heart doesn't stop, luckily after a while I managed to pass that point but, now here comes the therapist and the surgery part

they obviously had a psychiatrist visit me during my hospital days and I wrote down everything and he was very patient and everything, and I heard the news, the very amazing news, apparently since I'm now a legal adult and my body fully developed I can have a surgery to have a voice! I was so so happy... until the doctors said it.

Medialization Laryngoplasty, that's the name, it's basically a special treatment for vocal cords paralysis, but I was too excited to pay any part of the details, I was so happy! I'll finally have a voice! but then.. the doctors said it

there's a 50% chance I could die, if I didn't have... that eating disorder, if I didn't receive heart issues from it I would've been 100% safe from the surgery, especially since it's VERY rare to pass from a surgery like this.

my surgery is on the 15th, aka four days from now on, I never meant for it to end this way but I have hope, I have genuine hope I'll make it, I'll make it and have a voice... but there's always this part in my brain, 50% chance I could die. it means it's very possible. I don't want to die. nobody wants to die.

so this might um... explain further inactivity in the future, because if, and by god forbid it happens, and I actually... die,

I just want to say you guys are amazing, you guys always supported me since day one and my total drama days and I love you all so much, drawing was my number one coping mechanism and you all supported me for it, always liked my art, and I was the happiest person on the planet.

I never meant for it to be this so sudden, and I know I don't owe anyone an explanation but... I could die, I can't die and leave people that mean so much to me concerned about me suddenly disappearing, no one deserves that, all I can wish from amazing people like you is to pray for me and wish me good luck.

my doctor ordered me to delete social media because well, as mentioned above I would often look up girls to make myself feel guilty to starve, and also because of social media stress and anxiety and my heart can't handle it, so um... I'll miss you all so much, and this is a goodbye... for now.

#tw #important #no one knows how terrified i am #ever since i heard this news i had nightmares each night #but then i think to myself...#that ill have a voice.#ill talk.#ill sing!#but i could also... die.#everything is so confusing and scary #i dont want to die.

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evirlihs · 27 days

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#u get a squeaky lil toy nyehehehe

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evirlihs · 27 days

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evirlihs · 28 days

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chat they went so hard on this design that lasted for like. less than an episode

#um guys this is actually me irl #respect me ok dont judge #nega timmy #fairly odd parents #hex rambles #fairly oddparents

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evirlihs · 29 days

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Catfeine and Dogpressed art! I thought those two were so cute and really creative not to draw, I was traveling earlier and drew these on the bus

While I was drawing I made a headcanon voice for them! I was rewatching Jimmy Neutron and came by the clones episode and Happy Jimmy and Sad Jimmy and thought BAM that's Catfeine and Dogpressed right there!

#poppy playtime fanart #poppy playtime #poppy playtime chapter three #poppy playtime chapter 3 #frowning critters au #frowning critters #catfeine #dogpressed #smiling critters #sleepyday #dogday #catnap #video #headcanon voice

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evirlihs · 29 days

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I wanna take a pic ahh mfs

#me and who pls #sleepyday #smiling critters

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evirlihs · 29 days

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#tbh no #my previous icon was a stick guy crying #hed think hes too depressed and. leave

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evirlihs · 1 month

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#me to anyone tbh #big and small #nostalgia

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evirlihs · 1 month

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cutie patooties

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evirlihs · 1 month

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You shouldn't get character information without it being from the creator's own profile, in Toby's story that was posted on Deviantart it is clear that it was Slenderman who controlled him. I recommend you read his story and the other publications that Kastoway has made.

anon I'll be honest with you, I don't really care about Toby that much to the point of digging so much through his history and such to the point of going to the creator themselves profile just to find a few informations on him, because I don't care and because I don't like him that much (and I'm sure the creator themselves doesn't like toby themselves and doesn't want to be associated to him that much anymore)

I'm just going by the wikis information because it's easier, and because if it was inaccurate it probably won't be there but idk, if it bothers u that much u can just ignore the 'manipulative' and 'cult' part then lol cuz the other points of him being a piece of shit and a heartless killer still stands

#literally the whole point of the first ask was just cuz i dont like how others portray toby #idk why u sound so... offended anon #im sorry if i offended u??#but i genuinely dont care thar much for toby #tbh and not for any other creepypasta to rhe point of going back in time back in 2015 to even remember the creator AND social media #like u must have a lot of free time lol #ask

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evirlihs · 1 month

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Have you read Toby's story? When Toby killed his own father he was being controlled by Slenderman, his creator never said he was manipulative and he doesn't participate in a cult.

I get it anon, but that doesn't mean he's not a complete angel either, tbh I admit I mayyy have overreacted on the manipulation part, but I'm 100% on the piece of shit part cuz

and you can consider him doing all this 'in the name of Slenderman' sort of a way of worshipping him, and there's no clear proof on Slenderman controlling him when he murdered his dad either (and I'd like to point out that I, don't hate Toby, ik with the way in talking it seems like that xd but no I love him! I just don't... like it when people justify his behavior, because he's obviously not an angel. he's flawed. he's awful. and that's what makes him good)

#this is a continuation of my last ask #anon ill be fr with you im not like one on one with tobys history #cuz im not interested in him that much frankly lol #but tbh idk whether what you said is true or not #ticci toby #creepypasta #ask

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evirlihs · 1 month

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What's a creepypasta opinion that you have that might get you hated on?

how people portray Toby, he's not a nervous shy uwu boy who's too afraid to talk to his highschool girl crush, he's a manipulative piece of shit and a liar (and tbh I love him for that lol)

people tend to make him so... idk how to describe it but you don't think of him as someone who killed his dad and tricked others to join a cult basically when u look at the way people write him. that's it.

#ticci toby #creepypasta #ask

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evirlihs · 1 month

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Most Everyone's Are Mad Here

I came up with the idea to draw Catnap in the form of a Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland, it really reminded me of him! And Dogday as Alice do you think I should continue making art for this au? wanna see the other critters and others like this? pls tell me! Most Everyone's Are Mad in Playtime Co

#the only thing im disappointed in is the fact that dogday isnt in a dress #smhhhh #jkjkjk i love this #poppy playtime #smiling critters

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evirlihs · 1 month

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