fireflies in the upper pasture tonight

there was actually like three times as many as you can see in the video my phone just wasnt picking them all up

Monday, 01.21.19

The best piece of new advice I got recently from my younger brother is that it’s okay to not work your hardest at the gym or wherever you choose to work out, and instead do just a little bit every day.  That advice has helped me to not feel discouraged as I have set new workout goals for myself and have never felt comfortable working out by myself at the gym.  Now I can get in there and even if I don’t beat my workout or run nearly as hard or as far as the person next to me, I can remind myself to not be competitive and just be proud of myself for what I did do.  In turn, feeling relaxed about my goals has freed my mind to be more creative and flexible so I end up pushing myself for fun in various ways.  A couple times I have pushed myself to run for more time after I hit my distance goal by saying “10 more seconds” ... about 6 times!  It didn’t add a whole lot of extra distance, but every second I was on felt harder and harder, so I was proud for how long I stayed up there on the treadmill.  I changed up where I ran a couple times and ran outdoors, but that’s a lot harder because running on a stationary treadmill versus pushing yourself across the ground are fundamentally different movements, I choose not to deal with hills on the treadmill yet while there are always elevation changes in real life, even small ones, and I had to deal with headwind throwing off my stride.  Today I ran my mile, and for the last quarter mile I progressively increased my speed until I felt like I was sprinting!  A couple friends I went to the gym with encouraged me to stay and do a small abs and legs circuit with them, so I’ll be sore tomorrow and especially the day after!

Tl;dr: work less hard to prevent burnout and free your mind for more creativity!

Saying “Fuck it” actually motivates me more than “You can do this”.

So I have been (assistant) coaching a 12-u club volleyball team for the past 2 months. First time coaching ever! Today we had our first scrimmage and we won a set of our match! I did a good thing too, which was to tell the girls, all of whom were jittery with nervous energy before the scrimmage, to pause and take a deep breath before every point. And they did!! I saw them take deep breaths before the next point started, especially whoever was going to serve, and I have never seen a group of young girls play so calmly and collected like they did, and it was awesome to see. What an amazing group of girls.

Sunny is alive! He has a new family. And because of those two facts, I know he’s happy. That’s how it works with that cat.

Getting on toward 4 years in and I still get that goofy smile of excitement when I remember we're still together.

I feel like I did the right thing today. Mike and I had started fighting and at some point he gave in. My common response to that is to feel like I won, but instead I tried to turn the situation into something that could be learned from and built upon. I asked if we could reach an agreement or compromise and made sure that I contributed a part too. And honestly, it feels better than "winning."

It's fun to realize I'm still bashful about telling Mike that I love him, and that when I do I get butterflies because I mean it that much.

My dad randomly texted me jokes this morning!!

Delaware by the river is beautiful this time of year.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Mike took almost an hour of his time to read me stories from reddit and play with my hair. I had a good dinner which helped me feel less sick (the previous night I had a great but too fatty dinner and did physical exertion too soon after...) and I enjoyed washing cars and a rainy evening.

Both Betty and the other lady working at at the Wrapps station gave me hugs!! I feel so blessed to be welcomed into their love.

Yesterday I gave Rick a hug because it seemed like he was having a tough day. Today the immunization nurse helped me feel better about crying due to stress (got a TB test for a hospital volunteer process). I feel like I'm part of a community of people who care about me, and I like being able to give back.

Tonight, I’m grateful for

I’m grateful for

 People who love me - bus drivers, friends, SO, family

Good food - the brownies Mike made (with extra marshmallows and chocolate chips!!)

Beautiful music - The Sprig of Thyme by John Rutter and Chichester Psalms by Leonard Bernstein (about Bernstein’s piece, please at some point involve yourself in the piece.  The conclusion of this piece brought me to tears even though it’s the simplest ending I’ve heard in awhile.)

Warm weather - not how it started out today, but at least I never felt cold.

My own space.

I watched a light rain roll in from beyond the mountain and took a nap so I woke up feeling refreshed finally. Oh and a bus driver blew me a kiss! He also asked the other drivers about me to make sure I got home safely. It feels good that people are looking out for me.

I’ve felt a lot of love today.  For the bus drivers, for the wind and the heat of the sun and the world of color and light, for my friends, for Mike.  I’m realizing I needed to accomplish more today, but the day is over and all I can do now is prepare for a productive day tomorrow.

The bus driver who hurt her back is back at work!!! She gave me a hug, and I got to tell her how much I missed her and the fact that she was the first bus driver I befriended. She's not 100% still, so I hope she'll continue to get better, but she was well enough to drive and give me a hug!!