Sometimes, when something unfortunate or upsetting happens, your depression will make you dwell on it intensely. Basically feeding off of the hurt and pain you can't seem to let go of. The tightness in your chest turns to ache, your eyes water and it just doesn't stop. You don't know what to do, you have no one to talk to because of the time of night. That's when depression always hits heaviest is when there's not a soul around to tell. What are we to do with these feelings, these thoughts? Where we just want to scream.. Or on the other end of the extreme spectrum, we feel so numb we can barely move. Something that started out so small still snowballing into something even more painful than what you're used to. You've always had this gleam in your eye, but this time, the only thing shining is the tears rolling down your cheeks, underneath your chin, and onto the collar of your shirt. Before you know it, it is soaked. You go to the bathroom and your face is a mess.. You can't help but think to yourself, "what did I do to deserve this?" Then, you berate yourself for such a selfish thought. You try so hard, for everyone and everything but who tries for you? Again, another selfish and upsetting thought. Just as you thought the tears were gone, they appear again. All you can do is go back and forth between hope and sadness. A fight you've had often, pointing out your flaws, then feeling bad about yourself. But it's not your fault, it really is not.
It takes time to realize how truly unique and special you are. You don't need someone else to show you, it just takes you finally finding your happiness.