bpdwarriorsworld
Bpd Warrior
In recovery.
Struggles/progress with bpd and some other spicy illnesses ,.
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holy fuck i wrote this so long ago n i can officially say i’m in remission with cluster b traits bro what the fuck 😩 i still have little more to work on but god damn
WELCOME TO MY BLOG!!
I’ve been in dbt for just about a month,
Started Feb 9th 2022,
I’m a recovering borderline and i just want to share my stories to hopefully help somebody out as well, and just to vent / an outlet as i stopped mostly using every other platform i had🙋🏼♂️🤫🤷🏼♀️
And I thought blogging would be funner, if I can keep up with it.
Also might touch over my extreme anxiety/agoraphobia , if thats something that comes up too.
I’m just super dedicated to fixing myself right now and learning new skills I can’t figure out on my own!!
Come watch me grow and become a new healthier person, as I have been already learning sm and using so many of the skills i’ve already learned😍👌🌚🥀🌹🍄🌙💖💗☺️
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Sometimes self destruction feels like self care. Be mindful of whether your coping methods are actually helping you.
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I hope this isn't weird, but I've always had this headcanon:
Yui has suffered horrible nightmares since she was five years old due to having the heart of a demon (Cordelia). In her nightmares, Yui is tormented by a woman with completely burnt skin and a hole in her chest.
Could you make an aesthetic/moodboard inspired by this?
i love this idea and even wrote a little excerpt for it
night terrors || a yui and cordelia experience:
❝And I've grown familiar,
with villains that live
in my head.❞
Seiji Komori unlatches the door to the kitchen and bangs it open, torchlight swinging crazily across the tiles and sink. "I have the police on the phone!"
There is a gasp, then a quick skirmish of motion. Seiji feels his heart turn to jelly, before becoming stone with a surge of righteous anger. "How dare you invade the home of a man of God, you...you rapscallion!"
The insult feels strange in his mouth - so used is he to intoning the Holy Words - but he manages to spit it out all the same, and follow it up with a booming, "Have you no fear of the Lord, you miserable ingrate?"
He spins around the torch beam once more, hoping to catch some glimpse of the intruder. He's rewarded for his effort - an opened box of cocoa, a mug of steaming milk, two fairy cakes, and a tiny, quivering shoe that peeps out from under the table.
Shifting down faster than a man his age ought to, he flings aside the table cloth and brings up the umbrella in his left hand, ready to bash this criminal's head in. "I'VE GOT YOU NOW, YOU BEAS- Yui?!"
Wide pink eyes blink up at him, and the girl curls in on herself, rendered mute by terror. Seiji stares at her a moment, baffled, feeling the anger seep out of him as quickly as it had come. "What- Yui, what on God's good Earth are you doing down here? Why I- I thought you were a robber! I was ready to knock you out!"
Her tiny features scrunch up, and she whispers out, "I'm...I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep, Father."
"That's...no excuse for frightening me like that, young lady." He halts here, unable to lecture her while she is in such a state. So scared, so small - it tugs at his heart too painfully.
Sighing, he reaches out and pulls out from underneath the table and into his lap. She clings to him like a little monkey, and he can feel her heart pattering along at an abnormally high pace. "Alright, feeling better? Now then, what's got you so frightened?"
Pause. "Bad dreams."
He raises a brow, asking, "Didn't you say your prayers? Or even more importantly, didn't you seek assurance in the Lord when you woke from this dream?"
"I di-"
"And what does the Bible say, Yui?" he continues, already slipping back into his habitual lectures. "It says: 'In peace I will both lie down and sleep-'"
"'-for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." she finishes quickly. "Psalm, 4:8. I know, Father."
"Then why were you so afraid?"
The silence that follows is heavier than he expected it to be. Seiji is casting about in his head for another verse when she speaks, her voice quiet and hushed.
"I see a woman in my dreams."
He blinks, startled. "...what sort of woman?"
"She's...she's tall and...and pretty. She's got the loveliest long hair."
"Rapunzel?" he suggests, making a weak attempt at humour.
"No, no, no, it's not that long," she corrects at once. "And it's purple."
"Purple...? A little odd, there...but she hardly seems like something to be frightened of? What's so scary about her?"
"She's heartless."
He frowns at that, "Is she mean to you?"
"No. Well, yes, but that's not what I mean. I mean she hasn't got a heart...there's this big red hole where it should be." Her father does not respond, slightly shocked, but Yui goes on anyway. "And that's not it! She's got these long white scars running all over her -all raised and puffy- like- like someone tried to set her on fire!"
"...that's enough, Yui."
"And she's so mean, Father! When I try to run from her she grabs me and pulls my hair, and when I kick she kicks back harder, and when I cry and tell her to go away she screams-"
"I said enough, child!"
But a dam has been broken in Yui's thoughts, and every instance of torment from the tall, heartless woman is flooding out. "She screams, 'I can't go away! I can't leave!' And when I ask why she points here-" The child jams a finger into her sparrow thin chest, "And she yells 'Because of this!' and she-"
Seiji stands up so fast that he feels his bones creak, and the girl goes tumbling out of his lap and onto the floor in a mess of blonde curls and utter indignation.
Fear of such enormous, terrible magnitude is rushing through him, and he knows, he knows at once that the deal dealt with creatures far more terrible than he, has finally begun to unfold.
The awakening is at hand.
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fighting and we fuck yeah- youre my only type.
you’re gone when i wakeup
breakup just to makeup
when you come back — ill be waiting
there’s something you’re not saying
i’m missing you,is it someone new?
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even when im drunk— youre my only type-
mgk is my hubby i stg
i love chaos i love toxic, i love reckage i love falling
picture taking
picture cropping
you made me feel SO DISGUSTING.
sums up bpd,such a bop— u cant change my mind.
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why do i have to split on people and not know which skill is the best skill to stop splitting on people and i cant even call my therapist and ask for skill direction if this keeps up by Monday, i likely will but i cant do anything til Monday so its rather quiet annoying but i am sure i will figure it out,
i just wish ppl didnt piss me off so bad and make up random shit tocause fights for legit lierally,zero- no reasonm behind it at all other than theyre bored and want to test my therapy knowledge and progress, I guess, lmfao
fuuuckkk offfffffff.
#bpd#bpdshitposting#bpdvent#bpdsplitting#advice#confused#dbt#skils#therapy#mentalhealth#mentalhealthmatters#yourmentalhealthmatters#fuckyou#fuckpeople
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Playing with procreate, made this fancy picture.
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hello, i am writing this to test out my new ipadkeyboard i just got, still in therpapy they took wednesday off though,which kind of sucked, but i had reg one on one therapy on tues, instead of friday
i also bought a logitech crayon for my iPad abd so far in yaaayyyy,
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I don’t usually have feelings so when I have them they’re overwhelming
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Desperately trying to not fall in love and it’s really not working
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I don’t usually have feelings so when I have them they’re overwhelming
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