i froze when he poked me with a knife, before i had a chance to push it away everything i had was carved out and discarded and i was left a bloodied carcass

i have become a scared, violent carcass

forgive me for clawing at anyone struggling to love me

ψ (｀∇´) ψ♡

drawn by me (in procreate)

im so scared of falling in love i can't even love myself

being physically sick takes such a toll on my mental health.

let me rot away, ok?

some time ago a recently self proclaimed [jirai] on tiktok started telling me I knew nothing about menhera and jirai and should study more before talking of it... like if I wasn't here since basically 2016 and reading as much as I could on the topic (special interest levels of reading on it) I was there when the risuka tags were banned and replaced by jirai, before jirai became particularly associated with fashion. I'm not fluent in Japanese but I can usually read short sentences and I can say I've seen some dark shit like people proclaiming "You can't be actual jirai if you don't cut/ never tried to end yourself" and some telling others to do those things to be more proper jirai. People talk of drugs and abuse like they are such nice things... I've seen videos and news of young people in Kabukicho... and all I have to say is I have absolutely nothing against "real jirai", I just believe there are a lot of sick young people being incredibly neglected and/or mistreated and in serious need for help, and that going around saying "jirai is just fashion" is extremely insensitive to the people from were it got its name from. It's not a kind of fashion, it's a whole "kind" of people, who deserve help and respect instead of being glorified for being unhealthy. Acting like being sick, abused, or constantly doped is a cool thing or even using these as an aesthetic is an extremely unhealthy kind of escapism no one should be taking part in.

quick rant

So, a vtuber I watch who consistently talks about being jirai and menhera made a stream "explaining" jirai kei. while most things she said about jirai kei were more or less correct, she basically explained menhera as "turning mental illness kawaii, and making self harm something that's cute and desirable." this is NOT what menhera is about at all. she used menhera-chan as an example, however menhera-chan is a short, satirical vent manga that is not equivalent to the community. menhera is about reaching out for help, and/or being proud of the fact you are strong enough to still be here today. the bandaid/bandage motifs are showing that you are healing or have healed from things in the past. the pill motifs represent the fact that you were able to reach out and get treated for your mental illness. im tired of people who are uneducated and not a part of the community spreading misinformation.

pics from my first jirai kei coord!! 🎀🖤

初めての地雷コーデ!!

menhera-chan, the wrist-cut warrior!! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡  i love her with all my heart

artist: bisuko ezaki 

new Minato Aqua figure!!! cute~

👾👾👾

Intro post!!!!!!

My name is Mei and my pronouns are they/them, I am non-binary

I struggle with PTSD, clinical depression, an*rexia, and self harm. Because of this I got into j-fashion, specifically yami-kawaii and menhera! I made this account as a way to vent and post cute things! I speak English and I am learning French and Japanese. I also love horror films and books! I am under 18, please don’t be a creep.