bonnie-is-bumbling
The Bumblings of Bonnie
This is an all purpose blog, where I write about mental health, food, pets, and anything I find interesting!
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Oh. Look. It's once again been a hot minute since I've written anything!... Okay, that's a lie.
I write, then I let it sit... Usually decide it's too bleedin' cringey, and I delete the Tumblr post. But not today!
Today, I'm just going off about my special interests. Today, the brain is on ships, and the sheer sizes of them. As some ass-coverage: All images are snagged from Google. They are not accuracy checked. They belong to their respective owners, not me. Do not take my words as fact, my research has been shallow, casual, and for fun.
My housemate and I got a bit curious, as we're both big Titanic enthusiasts and plane enthusiasts- How big IS the Boeing 777x compared to the Titanic?
It was just one of those questions that popped up out of nowhere. Being an impoverished person my whole life, I've pretty much only traveled a few states outside of my landlocked rocky mountain home. The closest I've been to the ocean is Galveston, Texas. Save for a maybe 2 hour beach visit when I visited a former partner in Florida. That said, I've never seen a full size ship.
Boats? Ferries? Sure! My grandfather used to go fishing on Lake Conroe in Texas on the prettiest bass boat I know. (I may be a bit biased, hah.) But while I've never seen a full size ship in person, I've flown about... four times? So I've seen a plane up close. I think the first one I flew on was an A320, but for the love o' gigantic buffets, don't quote me on that. (Oh. Did I mention I'm waiting on dinner while writing this? A buffet sounds delightful. It has ZERO to do with this post. But maybe it'll remind someone who hasn't eaten to eat?... GO EAT.)
.... So, planes are pretty big. That much, I can tell you. But I was plenty surprised to see they're not even half of the Olympic class. Insert my first snagged photo from a shallow Google search!
On my housemate and I's curiosity search, we settled on this one. There's dome size differences between a 777x and an A380, but it was one of those instances of "Close enough."
Now, to preface this question, yes, I understand buoyancy, aero/hydrodynamic shapes. I'm no engineer, and I'm REALLY not about to go into the deep science and numbers here. Not today. I have looked up how ships float, how planes fly... All while being super heavy, bulky. And loaded with people/cargo. But despite knowing this stuff, it still feckin' BAFFLES me how a big tub of steel floats. Or something weighing multiple fucktons can fly like it weighs nothing.
Even with a general understanding of the design and engineering, the science, even... It still just makes me stop and think about that. Humans are impressive.
Oh. And if you think the Olympic class looks huge compared to an A380, the Olympic trio are only about 1/3 the size of the Costa Concordia (Brief rundown: Cruise ship that hit rocks and sunk partially in 2012. I know there's some drama surrounding this creator right now, but if you're of the easily distracted mind and need some humor to keep things interesting like myself, Internet Historian on YouTube has a decent documentary on her that was quite entertaining. )
No, seriously, I just snagged this off Google, it's not mine. Don't come at me. I just find it fascinating. We build these huge, heavy things and yet they float or fly like it's nothing. Just... What are the chances? That's so cool!
Have a lil 747 happily wagging it's tail as my thanks for bearing with my bumbling ♡
#my thougts#ramblings#boeing 777x#titanic#olympic class#ships#icon of the seas#costa concordia#tw cursing#autism#bumbling#special interest#credit to the person who made this
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Not me speakin' in an Irish accent as a joke one day and then finding meself Consistently doin' so in me daily life.
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Imagine my shock as a neurodivergent teen when I first realized that using large vocabulary and eloquent speech doesn't make you less likely to be misinterpreted, rather it adds an entirely new layer of misinterpretation I had never even realized existed in the form of people thinking you're being snobbish or condescending when you're just trying to be specific
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Man, I do not feel adequate today.
I always seem to deal with some shame for my existence. I always assume myself to be too annoying, childish, needy. And some days, it just hits harder than others.
As I analyze the way I feel, I still feel like I'm in the exact same place- The youngest. The little kid that's supposed to be thrilled by barbie dolls and crayons to scribble with. All of my artwork or writing, I look at and feel like if I show others, I'm going to get patted on the head and told "Wow, you did great!" But in that way that one does when a toddler hands you an unintelligible scribble.
I don't know if that's my brain being stuck in those shoes (if so, I feel like it has been since I was ACTUALLY so little) or if I'm just a fool.
I know that in reality, nobody really thinks about it too much. I'm the overthinker and always have been. I cant show things I create to my own family. And not because they insult it in any way, shape, or form. But because I feel, deep down, like everyone else sees a childish scribble where I see an actual (quality varying, lol) work of art or literature. Even if I know that the opposite is true.
This doesn't apply to just art or writing. It's anything I do, anywhere I go. I don't even have particular names or faces that come up, it's like an instinctual "Oh wow look at da baby! Let's applaud this very basic thing to make them feel like a big kid!"... And it makes me embarrassed to show my works at all! I've suppressed so many ideas, written stories to never be seen (even though there's nothing wrong with said stories.)
What even is this? Shouldn't I be happy about that sort of feeling? Why do I feel like I'm reduced to a measly child any time I think of showing my work? It literally almost feels like everyone is older than me, looking down on me; Those that are younger than myself included. Why do I look at my 5 year old nephew as though he were wiser and more experienced than I? Why do I feel like I just can't do anything for myself, and have to ask for permission to do things? Like I need the approval of those 'above me' to make a move? Why don't I feel like an equal, ever in my life?
I really don't have to. And I'm not sure if that's a normal way to feel, I don't know of it's an indicator of me being a horrible human being somehow, or if maybe there's something behind it. Maybe I'm just a spoiled brat that was always spoiled. Hell if I know. I'd love to know if this has some kind of root I can look into. I just want to be able to take pride in what I do, and not be too ashamed to share anything anymore.
I'm really trying to push myself to share things. Hell, even sharing how I feel is tough.
#my thougts#ramblings#ugh#mental health#rant#confusion#why is this me#open questions#does anyone know#what is this#psychology#dammit brain#why brain#bumbling#annoying#writing#artwork#this is embarassing#i hate my brain
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Autism and Phone Calls
Neurodivergent_lou
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When you tell you’re coworkers you’re autistic and their response is always “I definitely couldn’t tell”. It’s called masking, guys, and I’ve been practicing for decades.
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Shoot. Is this my first post in a while?
Damn, I wish I had more on my mind to talk about, but I don't. I kind of just came here to say how much I love drawing hair.
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Fakers give up when no one's looking.
That one hit. I'm still in a stage where I'm finding myself doing that self-gaslighting thing. All the time. The problem is always me, I'm always the one in the wrong or "faking it for attention when people have real issues."
By brain always convinces me that someone is gonna read my blog and be like, "This is a sign that you're faking!" To something that I'm not even aware of saying or doing. There's one part of my mind that says, "You're too stupid to know if you're faking or not!" While another goes right along with what this post said: Fakers quit when nobody's looking"
anyone with adhd and/or autism have part of their brain that constantly tries gaslighting itself into thinking that you aren’t actually autistic, that you don’t have adhd? i’m so tired
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Autistic Love Languages
Lil Penguin Studios/Autism Happy Place
Autism
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I'm gonna drop this picture of my OC, and let you make assumptions about him. (Nothing NSFW) Because I'm too shy to talk about my cringe-ass stories and characters.
No, okay but seriously, I'm really struggling. I see my art and writing as something inferior to that of others. Especially when compared with those of my own age. Most artists could do better than I could by age 12.
At the same time, I'm also well aware that I'm my own worst critic, and it holds me back a lot.
This doodle is of my OC by the name of Tilyr Millerick.
In his original appearance, he was a small child, but I drew this Irish siren boy as a teen, because I've been trying to develop his character. I intend to truly make him unique from his elder sister, who saved him from their own grandmother in the first story I wrote.
I really didn't know what to put on a merman who didn't want to be topless/preferred to be more covered up.
I wish I was able to make myself give more details than that. But I'm wavering on just deleting this whole post for cringe, so I won't delay and let my brain win! Huzzah!
#my thougts#original character#merboy#drawing#doodle#cringe#mega yikes#ugh#is this anxiety?#eep#putting it out into the universe#nervous
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