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wiriting fanfic is so fun but also so mentally taxxing bc why am i writing a smut scene about laughing jack at 9am
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Pastas as Greek Gods
Jeff- ares, god of war
Ben- hermes, god of trade
Jack- athena, goddess of wisdom
Toby- hephaesteus, god of fire
Helen- apollo, god of art and poetry
Liu- nemesis, goddess of revenge
Jane- hera, queen of Olympus
Clockwork- artemis, goddess of the hunt
Nina- hestia, goddess of hearth
Sally- Hebe, goddess of youth
Kagekao- dionysus, god of wine
Zalgo- Hades, god of the underworld
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YOU’RE NOT DEAD YET YOU’RE NOT DEAD YET GET THE FUCK UP YOU’RE NOT DEAD YET IT ISN’T FUCKING OVER DRAG YOUR CORPSE KICKING AND SCREAMING INTO TOMORROW ONE DAY YOU WILL STOP SURVIVING AND START LIVING YOU ARE NOT FUCKING DEAD YET.
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eyeless jack is so hozier coded idc im so horny for him
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advice for you based on your favourite pasta
Jeff- Are you excited about the When We Were Young festival? I hope Dan and Phil come out with the gay flag and kiss just for you <3. How are your anger issues? Playing your music at volume 100 isn’t a substitute for therapy. Please go hug someone babe, having Jeff as your favorite in 2023 means you definitely need it. 
Ben- I just know you’re funny, like your friends fucking love you. Either play video games or have a creative hobby. Ben stans are literally the best. Probably have awesome taste in music. My advice for you? It’s okay if you aren’t the happy one all the time, you aren’t a robot babe <3
Jack- I get academic overachiever vibes from you, like, you’re smart, and you know you’re smart. You probably read and have a letterboxd account. You’re effortlessly cool, and probably hot, but it’s okay to fail sometimes, you don’t have to be perfect <3
Toby- Hello mentally ill gay people no im jk all of you are mentally ill and gay its the creepypasta fandom lolz. You probably feel like you’re really annoying and cope via having Toby as your comfort character. Either you’ve been in therapy since you were twelve or you need to go. Try and prioritise yourself babe <3
Helen- ITS OKAY TO DO THINGS ALONE!!!!! You probably feel insecure about your lack of friends, or you feel like your social life sucks. Doing things alone is okay, it doesn’t make you a loser. You probably like art, and you’re probably fucking great at it. Don’t compare yourself to anyone babe <3
Liu- Do you have family trauma and/or feel like you’re gonna be alone for the rest of your life? Yeah checks out. Spend more time with people, I promise they aren't all bad. Go pet a dog, stand in the sunshine. Life is great sometimes <3
Jane- psst… it's okay to let your guard down. Idk if you knew that, but here I am telling you anyway. You’re a bad bitch, I know. You’re hot, I know. But not everyone wants to hurt you. Also, stop trying to take care of everyone around you <3
Nina- you probably got/get bullied for being different. I think its hot that you’re different. Sure, you belong in a 2007 scene meet-up and i’m sorry you aren’t there rn, but you have SO MANY secret admirers. Keep being you babe, don’t change for anyone <3
Clockwork- okay i’m just gonna say it. Sometimes being mean to people and pushing them away is a bad coping mechanism. I am saying this because I have the same coping mechanisms. We are the same. Please for the love of god stop clenching your jaw and let your guard down!!! <3
Sally- Either you’re one of the younger fans or you have serious trauma. You can’t go to places or listen to certain songs without wanting to throw up. Your hands are burning from holding onto your inner child so tightly. Hang in there, it’s gonna get better <3
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Pastas as niche random objects
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Ben- an old playstation controller. Two of the buttons don’t work and there’s a weird stain on it.
Jeff- a rusted kitchen knife. No one knows why it’s still in the drawer.
Eyeless Jack- a dusty history book that you find at the back of an abandoned library.
Toby- A kitchen table covered in crayon marks and wood chips, initials carved into it.
Helen- a paint palette, covered in reds and blues and yellows, all dried up with time.
Liu- your favourite winter scarf, handknit by a loved one.
Jane- a lipstick stained wine glass, polished up to perfection.
Nina- a friendship bracelet, made from rainbow coloured beads.
Clockwork- a fur-lined coat worn all year round. Your comfort item
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the pastas if they had a normal life
BEN- Gamer boy who lives in his parent's basement. You saw it coming. Ben would literally spend his days living off energy drinks and chips. Brags about his game collection even though he doesn’t have a job. He doesn’t care that he doesn’t have a job, but he should.
Jeff- He never moved on from the emo renaissance. He has posters of MCR and other emo bands up on his walls. They’re chipped and wilted, but he’ll be dead before they get taken down. Definitely uses a pair of broken wired earphones because he thinks he’s too cool for AirPods.
Eyeless Jack-Jack would be the most pretentious male manipulator sorry. Donna Tartt would have a field day with him. He exclusively only listens to music from the 80s and mansplains everything. He is intelligent though, and he dresses immaculately. 
Toby- That friend who has never been calm in their life. One second he’s at home, then the next he’s in Portugal on a solo holiday. Should not be allowed a bank account. Always the life of the party. People wonder how he’s still alive. 
Helen- Weird art kid. Spends all of his time in his room, either playing piano or painting. He thinks he’s destined to be the next Picasso. Has good grades and big dreams, but no friends to tell them to. 
Liu- Probably the most normal. Good grades, decent social life. He’s not popular, but he’s not a loner. Kind of mainstream. Always drinking coffee, probably works like two jobs. Has connections everywhere. 
Jane- She walks down the street and like 90% of heads turn to look at her. Quiet, but not shy. Has a small group of friends, but feels like none of them know her. Probably has a glass of red wine every Saturday night. Has a cat. 
Nina- The town's bravest girl solely because she’s single-handedly bringing back scene-core. Doesn’t care that people give her weird looks on public transport. Makes kandi bracelets and gives them out to strangers. Literally SO sweet and for what. 
Clockwork- No one wants to get on her bad side. She has like two friends but she loves them with all her heart. Doesn’t give a fuck about grades. She probably works out a lot but never drinks water. Lives alone. 
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whats up babes
I'm the author of a Creepypasta fanfic called Dynasty on ao3 and Quotev, and this is just a blog where i can vent all my extra headcanons etc
[ asks: open ]
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