🌬️ thoughts

Is the president like…. the ultimate “can I speak to your manager?”

???

Ain’t it ironic how everyone who called me “weird” during my emo phase are currently adults in their first emo phase?🙄✋

How the turntables.

Newest ick: the way Ron DeSantaclause laughs

You’re telling me I’m gonna have to take care of myself for the rest of my life?😐

Gonna train my dog in a few different languages so when someone asks why he only responds to me I can say he doesn’t speak English. Then when they ask me what language he speaks I’ll just say he’s bilingual & leave them questioning the interaction.

I kinda feel like Greenland is gonna be a bad place to live as global warming gets worse.

The absolute urge to lay every single thing I own out on the floor to visually see it all in one place just to scratch the itch

If anything is stopping me from taking the fast pace ticket to yeet myself straight into my next life, it’s my dog wagging his long tail when I come into the room and say “I’m back” 🥲

How embarrassing would it be if a bunch of people posted their own super personal stories on tiktok with a voice filter & then one day the voice filter is removed from the app & somehow removes the filter from all the videos too. So now a bunch of people have their real voice sharing their real personal stories & they’re so frantic to delete the account or take the videos down, but so many other people are doing the same thing, so it causes the app to crash & now nobody can delete the account or take the videos down.

26 July, 2023

Everyone disappears but the sky is always there.

And my dad was right about aliens.

Red flags I should’ve seen in people that I flew straight for like an annoying beetle to a porch light at night in the summer

He demanded his grandmother bring him food if she wanted to come into her apartment that he co-signed on because she had to “give an offering” to him if she wanted to come into “his space,” aka their apartment.

They were in the midst of moving & all her stuff was there even though she already got a new apartment on her own.

“An offering,” as in, to a god, btw. We cleared that up.

My dad found a way to contact me daily even when he was in active war zones in Iraq.

And this is a standard I’ll be holding everybody to from now on.

If my dad can contact me from an active war zone, you can text me after your 9-5 shift. No excuses as far as I’m concerned.

ADHD Chronicles— how to learn things if you’re a visual/auditory learner without absolutely boring the life out of yourself

Reality TV.

Want to learn to cook? There’s a show or two dedicated to cooking.

Home improvement? There’s a collection of shows for that.

Survival skills? Tv. Design? Tv. How to build a sex room? Tv.

The possibilities are endless.

My overthinking red flag:

Putting my trash in my purse bc I’d rather throw it away at my house than to use up space in someone else’s trash can. Throwing my trash away in their trash can would be using their trash service, which they pay for. Having them see that I put my trash in their can would mean they’ve now witnessed that I am robbing them blindly, now they’re paying their trash bill to throw my trash away & I can’t have that😐

Doctors appointments in semi-rural America

Wake up at 8am. Start getting ready at 10am. Leave the house by 10:50am to get to your doctors appointment at noon. Leave your doctors appointment at precisely 12:17pm. Get home at 1:30pm. Exercise. Do some work. Get ready for bed. Bam. Wasted a whole day for a 17 minute long appointment.

Do you ever wonder why we don’t see a lot of certain scents?

Like when’s the last time you saw pear scented deodorant? Or body wash?

Or like. Prickly pear. Nutmeg. Wine? Right before a rain storm in the summer…

Supernatural interpretation:

A younger brother gives an older brother therapy on a 15 season long road trip.

Sometimes there’s demons.