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asstheticnct · 3 years
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Renjun: do you ever shut up?
Chenle: yeah, when I sleep
Jisung: no you don’t ??? you sleep talk!
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asstheticnct · 3 years
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12 year old Jisung: I’m getting a medal at school because I put out a fire.. maybe that’s what I should be when I grow up!
Taeyong: a firefighter?
Jisung: a professional medal-getter :)
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asstheticnct · 3 years
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Jaemin: go to sleep
Jisung: but hyung, there’s an ugly monster under my bed
Renjun, from the bottom bunk: what the fuck
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asstheticnct · 3 years
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Ten: it’s not a big deal
Inner Ten: have a breakdown
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asstheticnct · 3 years
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Doctor: *handing Jaehyun his newborn baby*
Doctor: I’m sorry but your wife didn’t make it.
Jaehyun: *handing the baby back to the doctor*
Jaehyun: Please bring me the one my wife made.
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asstheticnct · 3 years
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Jeno: you rate the members of our group by appearance?
Haechan: calm down, 23
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asstheticnct · 3 years
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Jungwoo: Can someone please tell me how to change my Twitter password?
Jaehyun: FAQ
Jungwoo: Well FAQ you too, you rude bitch.
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asstheticnct · 3 years
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Jisung: sometimes I talk to myself
Jisung: oh my god same!
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asstheticnct · 3 years
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Jisung: am I adopted?
Taeil: no, you’re Jisung.
Taeil: why would anyone name you ‘adopted’? even if we wanted to, your name was already Jisung when we adopted you
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asstheticnct · 3 years
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*at the teachers lounge*
Xiaojun: we can’t be in here!
Yangyang: why not?
Xiaojun: it’s for teachers only!
Yangyang: you’re a teacher
Xiaojun: no I’m not
Yangyang: right now you’re teaching me how to be a little bitch
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asstheticnct · 3 years
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Interviewer: so what’s your name?
Hendery: Hendery without a ‘P’
Interviewer: but Hendery doesn’t have a ‘P’
Hendery: that’s what I said
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asstheticnct · 3 years
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Doyoung: *throws fertilizer at Yuta*
Yuta: ???
Doyoung: so you can grow the hell up
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asstheticnct · 3 years
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Taeyong: can you pass me the salt?
Doyoung: I don’t know, Taeyong, maybe if you didn’t hold Baekhyun’s hand last week then I would’ve given it to you.
Haechan, sipping his tea: I found the salt👀
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asstheticnct · 4 years
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Winwin: I have feelings for you.
Hendery: Really?
Winwin: Yes, I feel you are a little bit annoying.
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asstheticnct · 4 years
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Ten: did it hurt?
Lucas: when I fell from heaven? haha nice try
Ten: when you fell from someone’s butthole into toilet water u stupid piece of shit
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asstheticnct · 4 years
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Sungchan: Damn I’m sick. I keep sneezing and I’m 6’1
Chenle: You’re sick because the rain hit you first, you stupid tall bitch.
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asstheticnct · 4 years
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Kidnapper: we have your son
Doyoung: I don’t have a son
Hyuck in the background: IT’S ME, HAECHAN!
Doyoung: you have the wrong number
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