“You can find them on Temu for 2 bucks.”-💀🖤Ash

Ooc tags:

The university got its hands on one of Poison Ivy’s carnivorous plants for research purposes today.

I won’t ask how they did it, the professor says it was with permission???

Not sure who he got permission from, but there was permission involved… Good on you, prof-

And, like a dog might, it decided VERY quickly who it’s favorite people are.

(Un?)fortunately for me, I appear to be one of those favorite people, and as such, the TAs have tasked me with feeding it on weekends for extra credit.

Anyone know where to buy those tongs for feeding snakes?

“I know. But I think Rh figured it’d probably be more funny a response if Alex was like “I NOW UNDERSTAND WHY THE FUCK I SHOULD NOT HAVE TOLD YOU BOTH ABOUT HOW TO GET ME TO LEARN MY LESSON AND MY FAVORITE HALLOWEEN CEREAL.” As a response to figuring out he did it. They’ll probably still hang after the cereal incident, just not as much as they used to due to Alex being pissed at RH for making him pay 13 more bucks for a cereal at Walmart.”-💀🖤Ash

Ooc tags:

Gods I love having normies in Gotham

these tourists come in and are like "what the FUCK" to everything and have 0 survival instincts. It's hilarious watching them scream and panic over the fact that there's a bunch of theatre kids in costumes running around breaking shit like wdym this isn't normal jennifer???

“He knew that Alex(or Corvus, depending on if my bro’s in his vigilante get-up and is actively on patrol) didn’t exactly listen to Nightwing’s scolding(he was in his Corvus get-up and I was in my Corvidae get-up, we had to partner up with Red Hood and Nightwing the time my bro did that) he just seemed like he did listen, he actually needed to have his most favorite breakfast at the time do a disappearing act(by disappearing act, I mean only the packaging of the breakfast is left)in order to get the lesson across. Red Hood knew that because they occasionally hang out and he confided in Red Hood about that(a win for Red Hood, but a mistake on my older brother’s part🤣🤣🤣)so he legit set out just eat the rest of my brother’s booberry cereal in order to get a lesson across to Alex(or Corvus) he also knew what my brother’s favorite cereal is because Alexander isn’t exactly the most quiet on his opinions on that seasonal Cereal. Not that I blame him, me and bri gush about Count Chocula(My favorite) and Frankenberry(her favorite) to just about anybody who’s willing to listen. Also the cereals earn more favor with me most because they release during October(my birth month, my birthday actually falls on Halloween). Long story short, Red Hood had to eat the rest of my brother’s cereal to get a point across, and now my brother knows that maybe he shouldn’t do that to Nightwing(Red Hood didn’t leave without a note saying “Don’t spank some dude in spandex’s ass just because he’s multiple cheeked up” and intentionally never left his signature due to my brother only seeing his handwriting for the 1st time) just because Nightwing is quadruple cheeked up on an everyday basis. Although probably somewhere down the line the truth might come out and my brother will be pissed at Red Hood for intentionally making him spend 13 more bucks at Walmart just because he wanted to get a point across.”-💀🖤Ash

Ooc tags:

Gods I love having normies in Gotham

these tourists come in and are like "what the FUCK" to everything and have 0 survival instincts. It's hilarious watching them scream and panic over the fact that there's a bunch of theatre kids in costumes running around breaking shit like wdym this isn't normal jennifer???

I know this is a very out of character announcement, but you can now ask Ash questions mainly regarding the rogues, the batfamily, their life, and Gotham in general!

“At least if they saw this video, they’d know they got diagnosed by a professional who lost his medical license due to fear experiments on already very vulnerable and mentally unstable people.”-💀🖤Ash

Ooc tags:

“You might need to get your eyes checked, Lynn. Red Hood is purely built like a tank, and is the biggest batfamily member by far that I saw. Bro is fucking bigger than BATMAN HIMSELF.”-💀🖤Ash

Ooc tags:

holy batcrap!!!!! red hood just came into the batburger I work at and ordered a kiddie meal cuz he wanted to see his toy, yk the new one that just came in? bro he got fucking batman and threatened to shoot the place down! sweet jesus I'm stilled hyped up on adrenaline and I can't stopsquealing he was so hotttttt!! hot damn he could crush me with those thighs and id say thank u

~ lynn

Character Introduction:

“I’m Ash. Ash Crane. I am currently living with my beautiful soon-to-be-wife, Brianna, who I’ve known since I was 8. My bride-to-be isn’t a native Gothamite because she lived in Sacramento from birth until we were both 8 years old, which is when she and her family first moved to Gotham. Me, However, I’m a native gothamite. We’re currently living in a dorm room together, studying different things(she’s studying Law for a major so she can become the next DA, but her minor is Psychology, I’m studying fine arts with a minor in psychiatry), we both make time for planning our wedding and dates. I’m a afab enby lesbian, she’s a cisgender omnisexual and omniro. I’m also a mildly autistic vigilante simply named “Corvidae” it’s simple, and alludes to multiple different birds because some types of birds are considered corvids, rather than just one type of bird in the corvid family. And I choose it because I think it symbolizes my allusion to me being both female and male, although I am not those genders. I am also apart of the batfamily. So are both my older brother and older (brother-turned)sister. They are also corvid-themed vigilantes. My sister is Crow, and my brother is Corvus. We’re so far the only corvid-themed members.”-💀🖤Ash

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“I don’t know if I have a costumed nuisance, but I do know that my older brother Alexander straight up smacked Nightwing on the ass once. He thinks Nightwing is still pissed at him for that, but I think that the other vigilante batfamily members(aside from the 3 crow-themed members)have a bone to pick with him for doing that to Nightwing. That’s why the shit that’s been occasionally happening for the months since don’t typically align with what Nightwing would do. Seriously, I’ve seen the one box of his favorite cereal empty and in the trash can, and I know red hood did that, because red hood knows where he lives and my brother is open with his cereal preferences, plus I’ve seen Red Hood’s eating habits and his horrendous eating schedule.”-💀🖤Ash

Ooc tags:

Gods I love having normies in Gotham

these tourists come in and are like "what the FUCK" to everything and have 0 survival instincts. It's hilarious watching them scream and panic over the fact that there's a bunch of theatre kids in costumes running around breaking shit like wdym this isn't normal jennifer???

“Don’t piss off any of the rogues, unless you want to end up with either lasting trauma or worst case scenario, dead.”

“Gas masks here are VERY high quality and VERY affordable, and they will be your best friend during gas attacks. I personally recommend Wayne Enterprises’s gas masks. I also recommend you keep that mask on your person every day, since you never know when the next chemical attack will happen here.”

“If a man covered in question marks asks you a riddle, please don’t respond. That is most likely my stepfather, Edward, AKA the riddler.”(Ooc but I ship scriddler so riddler is Ash and their Siblings’ stepdad in this RP)

“Check whose territory you’re in consistently. Red hood’s men are great suppliers for that, and they can alert you to territory changes.”

“Please leave gifts for the bat family somewhere where they can see who’s it meant for. I Recommend leaving them on a rooftop on their respective patrol routes. Also, if you want to not induce confusion between the bat family, make sure to include the name of the member. Also I really recommend giving the youngest of the Corvid-themed members of the batfamily horror shit. I know they have a really big collection of it considering they’re also autistic and… also are my 3rd roommate. Don’t ask how I know that.”

“Confront crazy with more crazy. I once saw that someone weaponized an old banana and charged at the dude that was robbing him/her/them/any. That person ended up with a wallet and no banana.”@gothamarchivist

“Please at least stop by the coffee shops once during your stay in this less-than-wonderful city. Trust me, the coffee’s better than the amount of crime here. Plus you might even see a batfamily member chugging down on a late-night latte due to their horrendous sleep schedules.”

“Harming plants almost always equal death by my aunt Pamala.”

“Please get your errands done by at least the high school start times here. Traffic gets horrendous after that here.”

“The bat’s hands are rated E for Everyone. Nobody is immune from justice in these parts.”

“Please don’t say you love a rogue when you’re in one of Gotham’s barns and nobles. Most likely you’ll end up being caught lacking by a nearby batfamily member or an officer.”

“Here in Gotham, we’re big on any kinda pride. Hell, THE BRUCE WAYNE got seen in a pride suit during a presentation of Wayne Enterprises’s built-in binder t-shirt once. Managed to snag one of those shirts during Gotham’s Walmarts’ pride sale(it was on sale for 5 bucks and I had 5 bucks to spend) since Wayne Enterprises shit always leaks over to Walmarts across the United States.”

“You might as well thank the entire criminal underworld here for cheapening the rent. And possibly the batfamily for accidentally flying through closed windows from time-to-time. Also, Bruce Wayne knows a shit ton of martial arts and is probably a black belt in karate. He’s also probably at the height of human strength naturally. Meaning that he doesn’t need no bodyguard to protect him. Motherfucker won’t start shit but he will end it.”

“rich kids outside of Gotham get taught sword-fighting with safety precautions in place, armed with epees, all that safety stuff. Notice how I mentioned outside of Gotham. Because I know the Bat’s current robin is a rich kid and he got taught sword-fighting with no safety precautions, armed with a katana, no safety stuff to even protect him from accidentally stabbing himself with that damn blade during sword-fighting lessons. Also, the kid, Damien, was raised by his mom in the league until he got sent to live with his dad. No wonder the kid is regularly caught armed with either an extremely sharp blade intending to kill somebody on his patrols or somehow got an exotic animal or animals into the manor that shouldn’t even BE INSIDE THE MANOR.”

“Only a few of the batfam have not attempted to kill anybody. Namely Batman because he ain’t got the balls to kill Joker. I’m starting to think the Bat’s cheating on Catwoman with that fucking clown!!”

“Don’t be surprised if you hear at least a teen say something about my father’s toxin being effectively Ghost weed.”

“Nobody gives a fuck here. We all deal with petty crime to the point where we’re free of fucks to give. Even the customer service workers here don’t even have smiles and don’t take any Karen’s (or Susan’s) shit.” (I genuinely didn’t mean to offend any non-entitled Karens or Susans because of this comment, I was just poking fun at the fact that people automatically default to Karen or Susan when they refer to an entitled lady they don’t know the name of).

“You get drinking water out of our waterways, you boil that shit and wait for it to cool for it to be drinkable. Unless you want to either laugh to death or scream and shit yourself. The more chemically inclined rogues put shit in the water here.”

-💀🖤Ash

Ooc tags:

okay people what are the 'surviving gotham' 101 strategies??

I've barely survived my first weekend here

“I also grew up with a villain for a dad. Motherfucker decided doing fear experiments on me not knowing I wouldn’t have the same effects as a neurotypical individual(or a ghost) would. I would just go limp and unresponsive due to the toxins in my bloodstream’s chemicals being both Limp and unresponsive inducers(Don’t worry, I don’t die from the toxins) instead of Hallucination inducers because I have mild autism. As for the ghost part, I once saw a half ghost dude, Danny, unintentionally say that my father’s toxin is effectively ghost weed. He also asked my father if he’s trying to hotbox himself in a burlap sack.”-💀🖤Ash

Ooc tags:

Update on the mad hatter kidnapping Stephanie Brown: she escaped. By the time the batfamily and the police got there she had tetch tied up to a chair and was just waiting for the police. When I asked how she escaped, she said “I grew up in Gotham with a B list villain for a dad. Getting out of this was nothing compared to the other stuff I’ve been through.”