anxious3cto
AnxiousEcto TW Vent Blog
this is a vent blog so be warned, I will be talking about Ed, SH, and other stuff so if triggered by this pls block don't report this is just kinda for me ya know. NOT Pro. I am a minor so pls don't interact if 18 or over. my pronouns are he/him(trans masc don't like don't interact)
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Usual TW alpply:
Please block don't report, and as always:
Hydrate or diedrate
Not me making a themed diet based on my current hyperfixation [the crow 1994, and comic by James o'barr]
The diet, if anybody wants sry if it's ass, it's my first time making one (I literally used Google slides to make it lol)
#trans ana#tw calories#tw self destructive behavior#pro for me not for thee#tw counting calories#male ed#tw vent#st4rv1ng#trans ed#Spotify
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The usual TW, not in any real detail or anything, but still. This post is mainly just me ranting/venting about my sad little boy crush ya know. As usual pls block don't report, and remember to hydrate before you diedrate <3. Love you all besties stay save 💓
Soooooo now time for the rant below:
It's been another bit right.., well now I'm definitely back on my bullshit, cause guess what besties that crush I had (still have tbh).
Soo, STORY TIME! [Note all of this info about my crush comes from my friend who didn't want me to suffer anymore]
So the guy I like apparently liked me too in 9th (I'm in 10th) my friend even said I was his bi awakening, (this fact kinda scares me cause I've been used in the past, so the what if cause I'm a trans masc I'll be used for my attributes, since I'm masc enough where it counts to be considered an 'adventure', but still fem enough to where it not that different. Like I'm sure he'd never to that to me, but still it's like my brain is trying to make him the bad guy so I don't like him anymore but I digress.) Anyway my other friend told me he has been in cahoots (not dating but really close, like she has his actual #, meanwhile ive never had it only the socials) with this one pan chick, and tbh from what I hear she's great, tbh she's definitely better for him than I am, I'm far to fucked up to be good for anyone. <side note, have y'all heard that song Jason by Bonnie Parker, that is what I'm afraid will happen to me> the song⏬️
I have screen shot of chats, that will probs explain this better than me [I might put it below (with the necessary blacked out] but idk, maybe not for privacy ya know.
Anyway yall I am mad depressed (literally, tw, but the night it all went down, ie me finding all this out, I took like four benadryl to sleep*seriously all ot was for* and I still feel weird and vaguely numb and overall just off (probably cause of the crush lore lol)
So now I'm bout to st☆rve the shit out of myself and overall get deeper, maybe if I can't be perfect on the inside, i can on the outside.
#trans ana#tw self destructive behavior#pro for me not for thee#st4rv1ng#trans ed#male ed#mentally fucked#tw ana diary#disordered eating mention#not pro just using tags#tw vent#vent post#Spotify
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Tw: extremely mentally ill rant
You have been warned, don't like, please block not report :] stay golden and hydrated besties
so the last couple of months have been ass, but since I've finally accepted I have a crush on this guy (he works out, like a lot and has been losing mad weight, he's also mad taller than me) so that shit finally kicked my fatass back into r3striction, omfg thank God for crushes, that shit be motivating the he'll out of me rn. Sooo, slay besties
On a side note, I now neeeddd to be perfect for for him.
#st4rv1ng#ed not ed sheeran#tw disordered eating#trans ana#tw ana diary#tw self destructive behavior#pro for me not for thee
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☆☆☆Tw- disorded eating, r3str1cting, calorie mention, I'm back on my BS.
Do not continue if you're triggered by the above topics, and please block, not report thx :] ☆♡
Soo.. it's been a while, but I'm finally back on my bullsh1t. Dude idek what december was tbh. But I'm happy to say I'm back and actually whole heartedly r3str1cting again, and not that half ass bs I did a month ago. Soo... yay!!☆☆
So my plain to hopefully prevent binging and mindless eating is to eat in the morning as a posed to after school. I plain the still have my two monsters at school, my coffee in the morning, but now have something small, ie Farina or an egg, or smth with my broth i make (which is about 5 cals or less). And if I need to eat after school, I could do broth again or smth (idk fruit or pickles).
☆☆Fun reminder: Drink water, hydrate or Diedrate☆☆
#ed not ed sheeran#tw disordered eating#trans ana#tw ana diary#tw calories#tw counting calories#tw self destructive behavior#pro for me not for thee#Spotify
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I went to a g*n range today I actually had a bit of fun, it was pretty cold tho. I also had to wake up at 4am and left at 3pm-ish, since it was upstate.
Today's bob:
~~~ Tw Sats~~~
Weight: morning W<137.9lbs >--once home(note: won't be accurate cus i ate whilst out) W< lbs>
Overall cals (including one's at school+before it too):
Cals burned according to fitbit:
Cal burned-total cal:
Workout: went shooting up state NY. From 8am-2:27pm
~~~Tw LOG TIME BABES~~~remember to hydrate before you diedrate besties
10/14/23
Breakfast: nothing besides a bit of bkack coffee
Snack: 100 cal granola bar
Lunch: [1 cal over if i didn't workout] 188-ish bbq misc (mostly a bit of barbacoa, mac n cheese, one little chunck of sausage, and a bit of clowlslaw)
Dinner: none
#ed not ed sheeran#tw disordered eating#tw ana diary#tw calories#male ed#trans ana#tw counting calories#Spotify
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Happy Friday the 13th, yall should really watch this one vid (a micheal and Jayson comedy sketch) idkw, but is so funny to me, I literally quote it all the time.
youtube
Now back to your regular scheduled program
Today's bop:
Stats and log below
Note for those who haven'tseen my last post on this: on my apps I log all my shit too (this is just to more publicly keep me responsible)
~~~☆~~~Tw Sats~~~☆~~~
Weight: morning W<138.8lbs > 《 after school W< for got again sry, probs 138.5 or smth>
Overall cals (including one's at school+before it too): 232
Cals burned according to fitbit:-1658 burned
Cal burned-total cal: -1426
~~☆~~Tw LOG TIME Kiddos~~☆~~remember to hydrate before you diedrate besties <3
10/13/23
Breakfast: 15 cals my espresso [six shots, zero cal sweetener, and some microwaved unsweetened vanilla almondmilk about 15 cals, ½ of a cup]
Lunch: 25 monster rehab peach tea(low cal monster; 5-25 cals)
Dinner: 110 for 1 Crab Cakes, Plant based, and a little kimchi a table spoon 12 cals
Snack: 70 cals pear blueberry spinach Aldi baby food.
Total cal: 272
~~~☆~~~Stay safe! <3~~~☆~~~
#tw ana diary#tw disordered eating#ed not ed sheeran#trans ana#tw calories#tw counting calories#Youtube#Spotify
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Note for those who haven'tseen my last post on this: on my apps I log all my shit too (this is just to more publicly keep me responsible), I rarely count my espresso or monster, considering there during my school day and I'm pretty active (I literally run to all my classes at full speed [cus ya know ya Boi got an anxiety problem lol]) otherwise I count it.
Today's bop:
Stats + food log below~~
~~~ Tw Sats~~~
Weight: morning W<139.9?lbs > | after school W<N/Albs> (I forgot today)
Overall cals (including one's at school+before it too): 287
Cals burned accordingto fitbit:1,769 (logged at 5:01 pm)
Cal burned-total cal: -1,482 cals(today I included what I had at school+before it, even tho I had gym today)
~~~Tw LOG TIME BABES~~~remember to hydrate before you diedrate besties
10/12/23
Breakfast: 10 cals my espresso [six shots, zero cal sweetener, and some microwaved unsweetened vanilla almondmilk milk about 10 cals, ⅓ of a cup]
Lunch: 20 cals [didn't finish], monster rehab peach tea(low cal monster; 5-25 cals)
Dinner: chicken dumplings 147 for a 3 and a bite of the 4th.
Snack: peaches and cream oatmeal w/ water, 110cals
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Note for those who haven'tseen my last post on this: this is just a food diary+ responsiblity check (with stats so TW).
Side note: on my apps I log all my shit too (this is just to more publicly keep me responsible), I rarely count my espresso or monster, considering there during my school day and I'm pretty active (I literally run to all my classes at full speed [cus ya know ya Boi got an anxiety problem lol]) otherwise I count it.
~~☆~~~☆~~~☆~~~☆~~~☆~~~☆~~~☆~~~☆~~
~~~ Tw Sats~~~
Weight: morning W<142.0lbs > | after school W< lbs>
Fast time total: 24 hrs and 23mins
Overall cals : 280
Cals burned: 1,520 (4,838 steps)
Cal burned-total cal: -1,090 (counting the stuff I had in the morning and during school)
~~~Tw LOG TIME BABES~~~remember to hydrate before you diedrate besties
10/11/23
Breakfast: 25 cals my espresso [six shots, zero cal sweetener, and some microwaved unsweetened vanilla almondmilk milk about 5 cals] (i added a bit of low fat butter today to cut the bitterness: 20cal)
Lunch: 25 cals [Monster Rehab, peach tea]
Dinner:panera cheddar broccoli soup 280 cals.
~~~☆~~~☆~~~☆~~~☆~~~☆~~~☆~~~☆~~~
Been vibing hard to this lately~~
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Hey ya'll, yes Ik it's been literal months since I posted, not to mention that tip thing or whatever you want to call it I immediately forgot lol. So I fig let's do something else to curb my raging adhd.
I plan to do a food log? Diary? Idrk yet. And tbh I doubt I'll remember or even do it correctly, since considering my track record. Anyway I'll try (I seriously doubt it tho, do expect nothing)
No that schools in full swing and my mom's wedding is over, I can hopefully be more consistent with posting and what not (still take every word of this with a grain of salt or smaller lol). This post is mostly a rant sorry 'bout that. Should I do a weigh in too, to ya know publicly motivate my f4t 4ss
------------------------------------------------
Here we go lol (not me "back on my bullsh1t") just in time for Halloween [cause I'm sure anyone could guess I'm a slvt for spooky season.]
~~~LOG TIME BABES~~~remember to hydrate before you diedrate besties
10/10/23
Note: on my apps I log all my shit too, I rarely count my espresso or monster, considering there during my school day and I'm pretty active (I literally run to all my classes at full speed [cus ya know ya Boi got an anxiety problem lol]) otherwise I count it.
Breakfast: nothing at all cus I was at my dad's [nothing (honestly besides my espresso [six shots, zero cal sweeteners, and some microwaved unsweetened vanilla almondmilk milk like 5-15 cals at a guess] I don't eat anything.]
Lunch:25 cals today. (usually a rehab peach monster or ultra peachy keen monster (or most another low cal monster) 5-25 cals
Dinner: 180cals cream of chicken and wild rice soup from panera (cup) and a fruit cup that comes with 60cals
Note: i might have some tea cus my throat hurts like hell (but tbh if I do use a calorie sweetener it'll probs be a little honey to help my throat)
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Usually Tws apply: tw d1sord3red 3at1ng, s3lf d3struct1v3 b3hav1or
Regarding the last post I made, this it the start.
To start I will put one mint in prematurely as a means of getting started.
Wish me luck kiddos!
And stay safe! <3
#tw disordered eating#tw self destructive behavior#tw ed not ed sheeren#not pro just using tags#trans ana#bing3 eating
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Tw (the usual associated on this page but for new viewers: tw ed not Sheehan, self destructive(ig).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note preceding the following: I plan to post about my progress using this method of self checking (just so ya'll know, the posts to follow will be a means to hold myself accountable)
Soooo guess what, I found this neat little thing in pintrest (I'm not using it in the proper way cuz ya know) but the basic concept goes like this much credit to og for idea:
[Insert bad/unwanted habit here]
Using a jar or tin or container of sorts, and some small items ypu can fit many in it:
For example mints(what I'm using) small candy, toys, money, ect..
Put one item in the jar each time you don't do whatever it is you didn't want yourself to do (note: in the original video they used it as a means to help them stop sh, in my instance I'm using it more negatively for my b1nge 3at1ng habits)
Each time you "mess up" you pour everything back out and start again like a game. Now for how long it takes for you to win the prizes inside is up to you, realistically to start this healthier habit start with a week, then up it to 2 and so forth [kinda like levels in a game, making it harder kinda(my personal idea)]. I hope this helps, pls be safe! <3
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Tw btw (d1s0rd3r3d 3at1ng)
Ahhhhhhh. I already fucked up today ( I'm a bit of my cal limit) what's even worse is that my dad doesn't have work so I'll probably be forced to eat, a tip to like not eat today.
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Again this is a vent blog pls don't interact if triggered by certain subjects or if over 18 as I am a minor. My dms are always open if anyone needs to vent or anything.
TW (stuff that will be seen or talked about on this blog)
•eating disorders (not pro just vent)
•Self harm
• other mentally illness+ venting about struggles
• others to be added as I progress with this account
Here is a couple of holiness if you or a loved one is struggling with the at for mentioned:
NATIONAL Eating Disorder Hotlines for 24/7 Crisis Help: 866-932-1264
Sexuality Support:1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline:1-847-831-3438
Trevor Project:1-866-488-7386
Depression Hotline:1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline:1-800-784-8433
#vent post#tw vent#tw edd#tw self destructive behavior#tw selfhate#tw ana diary#tw self destructive thoughts#content warning#mentally fucked
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