hi, I now have photos I can post

What is this????

Next January 19th I’ll be 21😳

My birthday is just a week away, that’s crazy to think about

I’ve been listening to this a lot recently

This is going to be done by audio speaker to text. Today, today has been a mixture of a bunch of things, rough, good, happy, depressed, anxious, nervous. All of the above to stuff that I like and dislike or whatever I guess. I guess I may say how today was, so today was good, my gf left to go to home to get ready for work @6:30 then I went back to bed after telling her I loved her, I woke up officially around 9:30-10:26ish I think, then I got a burrito and ate that for breakfast (it was really really bad, my dad tries his best to cook but sometimes his meals aren’t very goob). Then I waited for my friend and I played overwatch for the first time ever w/her and I had a lot of fun! Then I started to try to get into the groove w/playing Minecraft which didn’t really work too well sadly which made me nervous/kinda down and I was kind of going through a downward spiral which sucked, but then I started watching yt videos and that kinda blew the time away. After that I went bowling kinda w/my brothers and dad and I felt very overwhelmed because there were a lot of ppl there and it was very noisy and it was a super duper noise overload which just made me uncomfortable and paranoid that people may have been judging me or whatever. I just mainly listened to music when I was there on Spotify, but that didn’t really help too much, so I was kinda just stuck there not able to do anything :/, then after that we went home, I downloaded some more games on my 2ds and finally organized everything into folders, and ate 2 peanut butter sandwiches. I do need to drink water so I’ll probably get some after this post. I called my gf to say goodnight which was nice, but I wanted to talk to her abt this but I don’t wanna wake her up and bother her with how I’m feeling right now. There’s a lot of other things going on also, like how my mom’s ex boyfriend is and has been very very scary and how he has made her feel very unsafe and uncomfortable when she found out he was an alcoholic which isn’t good. And I feel like I’m not ever going to be a good enough son for my dad, because we just never get along at all and it really really sucks, and my brothers hardly ever talk to me, like ik my 15y/o brother isn’t because he’s going through 9th grade and he’s always talking to his friends or is in his room on his computer or is watching a tv show for the hundredth time and never wants to hangout w/me and I understand that, but me now being in college just makes me feel like I don’t belong in this family I’m in. Ik that seems scummy or whatever, but that is just how I feel rn. And my youngest brother bless his heart, has adhd and autism like I do, but he hasn’t ever been given consequences or anything if he did something wrong, plus he’s an iPad child and gets whatever he wants pretty much. And it’s like, it’s sucks cause he never even wants to talk to me :/. My other younger brother who is almost 10, is scared of his dad and his dad is trying to get complete custody of him so my mom can’t see him anymore. He didn’t even get a Christmas tree for them to decorate. I’m hoping to get him something really nice and special this year. Okay okay, I’m sorry this has been long, it’s just how I feel rn and how I’ve been feeling for the past few days. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and a happy Xmas :p Gn ppl

I haven’t posted in a while, so he’s a short and sweet one! I have finished my first semester as a freshman at college! Very exciting things to come hopefully, had some difficulties and stresses but now am home for Xmas break and feeling better. Merry early Xmas everyone!

How’re you doing, are you excited for thanksgiving?

Weight. My weight is something that always makes me hate myself and also hate my body. Mainly because my father berates me about how skinny I am, or how I don’t eat anything or how I’m losing weight and need to gain more. It’s just really belittling to hear that over and over and over again. Rn I’m in Michigan with my significant other and I’m really happy that I don’t have to hear all the stuff, but I’m very nervous to come home today cause we don’t necessarily get along all too well. I guess I’ll see what happens, ya know?

I’m starting college soon at Longwood in abt 16 days and I’m still really nervous and on the edge abt it because a) I was forced into going to this one, and b) idk if it’ll be good for me. Also my dad has threatened to ban me from going. I really don’t like my dad. He makes “Empty Threats” so that me and or whoever else (my brothers) do what he wants us to do. It’s really gross. Also, he’s been going on tinder alot lately when he is in a relationship with someone else rn, which is honestly very very revolting imo. He also asked me if I wanted his help ending my own life when I was going through a very hard time mentally and emotionally back in 2018-2020 which sucked a lot since I used to self harm. Though back to longwood and college idk if I’ll even like it or if I’ll Make any friends. I’m not a very socially bubbly or active person, I usually keep to myself but I always try my best to introduce myself which is pretty good I guess?? Idrk tbh I’m probably just being all nervous and negatively wiring my brain to be like, hey this is gonna be awful! But idrk and I hope everything will be ok.

Weight. My weight is something that always makes me hate myself and also hate my body. Mainly because my father berates me about how skinny I am, or how I don’t eat anything or how I’m losing weight and need to gain more. It’s just really belittling to hear that over and over and over again. Rn I’m in Michigan with my significant other and I’m really happy that I don’t have to hear all the stuff, but I’m very nervous to come home today cause we don’t necessarily get along all too well. I guess I’ll see what happens, ya know?

Hi, I’m very very new to tumblr but this is sorta kinda something I kind of wanna try to do or use to vent or answer questions people ask or whatnot. So, uh yeah! I hope this goes well, feel free to ask me questions :), can’t wait to talk