Alone

Do you know that feeling where you meet someone that seems perfect in every way? Their laugh, sense of humor, their kindness, spirit, their personality seems to match with yours? You feel as though you’ve met your kindred spirit and even if you’re sitting around doing nothing with them, it’s okay because they’re there with you.

And then one day out of the blue, they stop talking to you. Communication has completely stopped and you don’t know why. Maybe they’re just busy… Maybe they have someone else they’d rather be with.

Once that happens a few times, you start to think that maybe something is wrong with you. That you did something and it’s your fault. Because how could it not be? After continuously losing friends in your life, you think there must be something wrong with you. There has to be, otherwise why would someone you felt do close to just stop talking to you?

This has happened to me quite a few times. Sometimes I get an explanation but since I’ve been an adult, there hasn’t been one. Just silence. Even if I ask what’s wrong, if it was something I did. Most of the time it’s “I’m too busy” or “I do have a life, you know!” I’m actually starting to get used to it. I used to obsess over how someone could stop talking to me. I used to replay everything in my head and try to find what I did wrong. But now, it’s like what’s the point? I’m not gonna try and convince someone to like me. If they don’t, they don’t. I’ve come to accept that.

But even after getting used to it, it still stings. I get that sinking feeling I used to get when I was a kid and I could just sense that the other kids didn’t want to be around me. I never knew why. I was too shy to ask.

It’s such a lonely feeling. I wish at least I had an explanation, a reason why the communication stopped. Not knowing if I did something wrong is an annoying feeling. Because how can I be a better person if I’m never told if I did something bad?

Then that old feeling comes back. Hopelessness. The feeling of what’s the point of even trying anymore. What’s the point of living if I can’t feel alive. Then every failure in my life comes into my mind and I go through every one. The feeling of being useless and unimportant grows heavier and heavier until I feel as if my legs will buckle under the weight.

I want to be close to someone but it’s so much easier just to be alone.

Hypocrites

I’ve noticed this for a few years now and it’s getting harder and harder to keep my mouth shut. Because I don’t wanna start drama with my friends or piss them off.

Have you ever seen a friend post something on Facebook that completely contradicts what they posted a day or so earlier?

I saw one of my friends post a little video that was going around during Christmas time. It was a line of guys “dancing” to the song Jingle Bells and they were moving their hips as if their actual balls were bells playing along to the song. Now, this kind of this doesn’t really trip my trigger as far as humor goes but I didn’t really have a problem with it. I moved on.

This friend also invited me into a group chat sometime layer and was showing me and a couple other girls a picture of a very attractive half-naked guy on the beach. They were all ogling over this guy to the point where I left the group chat because it was getting a bit…not disgusting but it made me uncomfortable how they were all so sexually charged over this picture.

My friend has posted stuff like this before. You’re probably wondering why I care. Well, this friend also likes to post feminist articles about how men need to stop the objectification of women. How men will never understand what we women have to go through in life because men only see us as sex objects.

After reading the last article my friend posted, I wanted to comment on it and tell them off. I mean, are you kidding me? You are so against objectifing women but it’s perfectly okay for you to do that to men?

I’ve seen this kind of shit everywhere, even in magazines. How do you people think this is okay?

Objectifing people isn’t always a bad thing. I mean, when you see a billboard of a hot girl in a bikini, do you really think people care about her life story? No, they’re interested in what product she’s advertising for.

But when you say you are against men seeing women as sex objects, then talk about how big you think a guys dick is… Urgh! I don’t know, it’s just beyond annoying to me.

Humans are sexual beings. We see someone attractive, our bodies have a reaction. That’s just how we work and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Obviously it’s a problem when we act on those reactions and the other person isn’t interested. I’m not saying that does not happen. I have first hand experience with unwanted attention and I get it. But there seems to be alot of thought policing going on now that is unnecessary. If a guy sees a girl he finds attractive, he might cat call. And if a girl sees a guy she finds attractive, she tells her friends and they all look. It’s not just a woman’s “issue”. It’s a human “issue”. And I put that word into quotations because I personally don’t even think it’s an issue.

It’s pretty easy to avoid parts of town where you get cat called. And if a guy is harassing you at a bar, tell someone. Don’t just go on twitter or tumblr and complain. Don’t just write articles about your personal experience when all you did was ignore it when it happened. Because you know what that does? It makes the person harassing you think it’s okay for them to do so.

So, ladies? Stop being hypocrites. We do it all the time too, men just happen to be more vocal about it.

Feminism and the Hatred of Men

I realize not all feminists are like this, but most that I’ve met in the real world or come into contact with on the Internet seem to be. There’s only one that I am friends with that is down to earth.

I really don’t understand their mentality. I’d find it exhausting to be a victim of everything and get offended by every little thing. Like man-spreading. Is it really that big of a deal? I find it more annoying when women take up an extra seat for their purses instead of pushing it under the seat.

Aren’t you exhausted? Constantly fighting the “patriarchy” and dying your hair pink? And what’s with those teeny-ass bangs alot of you seem to have?

You fight for women in the west, but we have everything. We can vote, we can work, what more do you want? If anything, men have the short end of the stick. At least when it comes to the court system. Men get longer sentences, it’s rare that they get sole custody of their kids. And the thing that pisses me off the most? Men don’t even get a say when the mother of their unborn child wants to get an abortion. Why? Yes, it’s her body but she didn’t get pregnant alone.

You feminists seem to be so against the objectification of women. But do you realize society does the same thing for men? Guys with muscles and no shirts are pretty much all you see in ads and magazines. But the second it happens to a woman, it’s unacceptable. Why?

Men and women are not equal. We can do things men can’t and they can do things we can’t. Why is that a bad thing?

The way I see it is men are the hunters, the protectors. In the old days, that’s why they were thought of as superior. They were the leaders, the kings, the head of the house. But isn’t it intetesting that these big strong men can turn into puddy by the sight of a beautiful woman? Men destroyed kingdoms for their women. Killed tribes of enemy warriors, built walls and castles to keep their women safe. Why did they do this? Because women have the greatest and most powerful gift in the universe; life. We can give life. Without women, men would be nothing. But at the same time, without men women would be nothing. Both of our sexes help each other. One cannot be without the other.

And after all this, after everything men have done for us and our civilization, you think that cat calling and manspreading is the most terrible thing.

Of course there are scumbags out there, no one is perfect. But to use that as a reason to hate and dislike all men is idiotic.

About me

Things I like: Metal music, celtic music, tattoos, piercings, beards, motorcycles, animals, Jack Daniels, inappropriate humor, guitars, tacos, driving fast and listening to 5fdp as loud as my speakers will go, smoking cigs, trolling, sex, laughing so hard I cry, traveling, art, pokemon, moderate gaming, painting, photography, reading, history, beer, makeup, netflix, learning new things, family, warm blankets, sleeping, being lazy, doing a good job, the color black, and feeling safe. Things I dislike: Bad drivers, tourists, rap, hip hop, feminists, social justice warriors, transTrenders, liberals, conservatives, people that change the subject or repeat themselves when I prove them wrong, people that are closed minded, BLM, Kanye West, Hillary Clinton, peas, Milwaukee beer, math, rude and manipulative people, bible thumpers, WBC, CNN, Fox News, real racists and working in fast food.