— Anne Sexton, Imitations of Drowning
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Bar Napkin Sonnet #11
BY MOIRA EGAN
Things happen when you drink too much mescal.
One night, with not enough food in my belly,
he kept on buying. I'm a girl who'll fall
damn near in love with gratitude and, well, he
was hot and generous and so the least
that I could do was let him kiss me, hard
and soft and any way you want it, beast
and beauty, lime and salt-sweet Bacchus's pards-
and when his friend showed up I felt so warm
and generous I let him kiss me too.
His buddy asked me if it was the worm
inside that makes me do the things I do.
I wasn't sure which worm he meant, the one
I ate? The one that eats at me alone?
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I like my body when it’s with your body
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today-
i'm always indecisive about
my favorite season
it has to be spring or autumn
for they bring about changes
unrelentingly
walking around my new neighborhood
vital in the way air fills my lungs
draw another breath
come up for air and see
the flowers are blooming
i've decided i will too
author's note:
I haven’t talked a lot about this on here a lot but I’ve been going through a breakup these last few weeks. I feel a lot of heartache about it, however, I’ve decided rather than drowning in despair, that I’m choosing to focus on that which brings me small joys.
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