No one seems to understand that I’m scared of happiness it’s self, nothing last forever and it has been proven over and over and over and over and over and over and over again

Im happy I’m happy I’m happy I’m happy I’m happy Im happy I’m happy I’m happy I’m happy I’m happy

I repeat until I feel sick.

We wonder if it’s better to have loved and lost or to never have loved at all.

This grief has hands and it’s clawing at my throat.

I think I might rather be sad than fill the grief of his absence with anything else, you can’t replace a person.

I am constantly waiting for someone to come save me

I listen to my mother complain about having to take care of me like it wasn’t her choice to have me.

If doesn’t matter how old you are when you lose your parents, you’ll always feel like an orphan. Suddenly theres no one who will take you as your are, love you unconditionally.

There is no feeling like your father’s arms, they have outlasted every relationship, every friendship, they were ready to hold me before I was even born.

Would your dream man say those horrible things to you?

My grief is proof you existed, I don’t want to heal, I don’t want to forget.

No one told me about the grief you’d feel as you grew up, it was unfair but life moved on and you grew more.

There comes a time when you realise no matter how hard you try you cannot fix your father, even that wont make you give up.

And he hated nothing more than seeing himself in his daughter, he knew she was doomed for the rest of her miserable life.

Who am I if not my illness?

You could spend your whole life searching for yourself and still never find that missing piece.

How could you create something for nine months and choose not to love it?