FItness Junkie By Jo Piazza and Lucy Sykes

4 out of 5 stars

When her best friend and business partner demands that she loses weight, because how dare Janey weigh to much to fit into their couture wedding dresses, Janey has a mid-life crisis of faith. Suddenly finding herself with way to much time on her hands, and a few months to lose the demanded weight, Janey tosses herself into the world of work out with a passion. Only sometimes that isn’t such a good thing.

At it’s heart, this is a book on how to come love yourself. Humor, alot of amusing moments, but at it’s heart, is a tale of a woman coming to love herself. That oyu should be comfortable and love yourself, no matter what you weigh. So, you’re not a size 5. So what?As long as your happy with it, and happy with your work out, and what you’re doing with your life, who cares what shrinking sizes of clothes tell you?

“Life is funny, you know. It isn’t a running text. It has chapters. You might have a very different ending than the one you imagined.”

The Knockoff by Lucy Sykes and Jo Piazza

4 out of 5 stars

A hilarious look at what happens when the older generation discovers tech, are forced to interact with it. Imogen Tate has been in the fashion world for decades working and editing the magazine, Glossy. Fresh returned from sick leave after battling cancer, Imogen is ready to get back in the trenches and get back to work. But the magazine she left, isn’t the same one she’s returning to. Finding out that her magazine has gone completely digital, Imogen finds herself suddenly having to figure out how to tweet, snapchat, instagram....all the fun stuff the tech world gets up to. Saddled with a tech ‘nerd’ of a former assistant turned manager, Eve, Imogen is suddenly at her wits end on what to do.

And eve, there’s no words to describe eve. Except that everyone knows a eve. That horrible bitchy woman, that to spend time with her needs a masochist’s desire for pain, and all you want to do is shove her down the stairs. It’s a hilarious read, a very easy one, I finished in about ten hours, and a delightful amusing look behind the scenes at a fashion magazine.

”shape shift enough and you lose what shape you were in the first place.

Food whore by jessica tom

2 out of 5 stars

When Tia monroe finds herself with a sudden dream internship falling through, she settles on a restaurant internship that puts her in the sights of michael saltz, a food critic that suddenly finds himself with a career ending problem. He can’t taste anything. When his world spirals out of control, and tia’s with it, she finds herself drowning in problems as everything she works for unravels.

Okay. I admit, I picked this up because I like food. Like, if I could eat as much as I want, and not get fat, I would. But this book totally fell short of the goal. Like, by the time half way through the book, I was totally disappointed in tia, and the whole world of problems she got herself into. By 3/4′s through, I was skimming and ready for the book to be done. A overall disappointing book.

“That’s right you’re bored. And I’m going to let you in on a little secret about life. you think it’s boring now?Well, it only gets more boring. The sooner you learn it’s on you to make life interesting, the better you’ll be.”

Where’d you go Bernadette by Maria Semple.

3 out of 5 stars

When Bernadette’s teenage daughter graduates middle school, she makes a request that her present is a trip to Antarctica. Which would be fun. If Bernadette didn’t suffer from agoraphobia. A a general dislike for people, seattle, and the world as a whole, she finds it easier to stay home. But as the book reveals, that she didn’t start out that way. She didn’t start out wanting to be unable, incapable of making connections with the people around her.

When events start collapsing around her, snowballing into more then she can handle, Bernadette disappears. And her young daughter, bee, sets out to find her wayward mother. A laugh out loud look at what happens one doesn’t know how to cope with everything, this at it’s heart, is a story of love. A daughter’s love for a imperfect mother. A creator’s love for her work, who gives up all creating, simply to protect her child. A look at how very deep the desire, the need to create can twist you up when you thwart it, this is a story of love....with a amusing, quirky humor laced through all of it.

Rich People Problems by Kevin Kwan

“The quality of the stone isn’t perfect, but when I wore it, it always reminded me of how life can surprise you. Sometimes, the thing that at first appears flawed can end up being the most perfect thing in the world for you.”

The final book of Kwan’s Crazy Rich Asians trilogy, this was a rollercoaster ride of things going nuts. Set two years after Crazy Rich Girlfriend, Rich People Problems open up with a scene that brings the world to a standstill, at least for the family.

Su Yi, matriarch of the  Young clan, is dying. And as she does, the vultures circle as they threaten to rip a fortune and the world apart between them. With love and life at risk, the threads of all the stories are wrapped up in a satisfying end with this story about one woman’s life as it comes to a end, and how the loss will change everything. Keeping up the amusing flighty tone from the other books, this one takes a slightly more serious turn because of the nature of the book and the death that it handles.

“If he succeeds, he will destroy something precious, and if he does, it will be my doing.”

“

(yes you’re getting to quotes because I just couldn’t decide which one to use.”

So, this is by far one of my favorite authors. One that as soon as it’s notified that she has a new book coming out, it’s on my amazon buy list even a year ahead, because her writing is just that intricately written, flipping things around, changing things, making you question everything you know. This time, Banewreaker and Godslayer- collectively known as the Sundering- makes you question everything you know about Lord of the Rings, and it matters were you stand on a story, and that the truth is somewhere in between. And while I had loved the books long before this time through, I recently got the chance to break out my bike again (Yay for spring weather finally) and started on the audio books. and the reader, one Anotony ferguson, made me fall in love all over again. I have rarely found a narrator I loved as much as I’ve loved ferguson.

Set in a world known as Uru-Alat, named after the world god who’s death gave birth to it, the world of men, The Ellyl- Carey’s version of elves- and fjeltroll, and the fearsome were brethren, live in the shadow of grief that the six of the seven shapers(gods) are lost to them. One, Satoris third born, the Banewreaker, he who sundered the world, still lives on the face of Uru-Alat, in his stark defiance of his brother’s demand for obedience. And in his defiance, the world shattered, and he clings, living on, accepting the role his brother, haromane first born, has thrust upon him.

The two books are set eons after the world shattered, as a prophecy that has been spoken to remake the world, is breathed to new life. And in Dark Haven, Satoris moves to counter, to strike first,  because he knows his eldest brother is not willing to leave him in peace. and that is all he asks for, peace. But Haromane first born is unwilling to give even that much control away. And so, man and ellyl make war on dark haven, seeking to remake the world, and brings one question,

If all that good, considers you evil, are you?

“People are messy. Life gets messy. Things are not always going to work out perfectly just because you want them to.”

Picking up two years after Crazy Rich Asians, it finds our favorite teaching couple on their way to the altar. Two years have past since Nick’s cut his mother off from talking to him, but when a chance meeting gives her new leverage, things go crazy, in a way that only crazy rich Asians could make it happen. You’d think the long awaited wedding would be the centerpiece of the story, but it isn’t, as Rachael finds herself with a answer to a question, who is her father?

A good, amusing read that I had to know what happened next. Amusing but definitely something that wouldn’t happen in real life, but sometimes the joy of fiction, is that it’s totally unbelievable.

“ “Just because some people actually work for their money doesn’t mean they are beneath you.”

Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan

4 out of 5 stars

A book that hit the ground running. A book that proves that money, doesn’t buy happiness, and really, just makes things all the more complicated. When Rachel and Nicolas decide to return home to Singapore for his best friend’s wedding, and so Nick can introduce her to his family, she never expects her quiet history professor of a boyfriend to be loaded. A heir to a empire. So rich, that crazy sort of is the standard in the family.

Told with slightly alternating views for the whole book, flipping through cousins and family members at each chapter, the book shows the relationship and how the world can be viewed, when you’re so crazy rich that blowing more then a half a million on clothes means nothing. Dropped into this crazy mess is a woman who hadn’t expected to be entering the world of money, rachel must find a way to swim through shark infested waters.

The first in the trilogy, I can’t wait to read the next two books.

"Extinctions are sad, lonesome exits by the last few specimens, often silent and always tragic. And they’re still happening."

Scourged by Kevin Hearne

3 out of 5 stars

Scourged is the final book in the Iron Druid series. And it’s a easy read, that wrapped up Ragnarok, bringing Atticus full circle. From kicking off the end of the world, to stopping it from happening. Old debts are paid, scores are settled, and a bittersweet ending that doesn’t really end things, just leaves it open ended enough that you can decide what you want to think about Atticus and what world he’s going to live in.

Which in all honesty, annoys the crap out of me. After six years of waiting and reading, I wanted to know how things ended. A bittersweet ending wasn’t what I wanted as a ending, but it is a ending of sorts. Just not the best one I’ve ever read. It wraps things up, but it sorta drags things out, plays out long before things wrapped up, and the very best part of the whole thing, was the very end, because it wasn’t about the fight anymore, but about ending where it began, with just atticus and oberon, his hound.

“Sometimes your entire life is punctuated by one magical, amazing, wonderful moment, and you know without a doubt that whatever did in life, it was the right thing.”

Husbands and other sharp objects by Marilyn simon rothstein

5 out of 5 stars

Picking up right where Lift and Separate left off, it Husbands and Other Sharp Objects finds Marcy getting ready for a move, and finding out that her middle child is engaged to be married. Everyone knows one, the bride from hell. Well, Marcy finds herself with a daughter that’s turning into a bridezilla, in-laws she doesn’t understand, and a boyfriend who keeps pushing things along. Hopefully she can sort her life out in time for wedding bells.

A book that I had wanted to read because I enjoyed the first one, though it wasn’t a turn page turner. Well, Rothstein more then made up for a slightly rough start in Lift and Separate, and hit the ground running in Husbands and Other Sharp Objects. To the point that even with work in the morning, I stayed up to midnight to find out what happened....only to turn around as soon as I got home, and picked it up again because I just had to finish it. un-put downable to the point that I burned dinner because I was reading while cooking, Husbands AOSO’s is definitely a laugh out loud read for anyone who’s own family is like a train wreck sometimes, you just have to sit back and watch. This was family drama at it’s best.

Staked by Kevin Hearne

3 out of 5 stars

the eighth book in the iron druid chronicles, Staked picks up soon after Shattered, with our three druids scattered to the winds. Atticus is waging war against the vampires, Granuaile is looking to get loki’s brand off her arm, and Owen’s looking forward starting a grove of his own to train apprentices with Greta the werewolf. As the war with the vampires heat up, things start drawing them closer to Ragnarök, and the final battle as loose ends are tied together as the series starts the downward slide into the final book. A lot of side quests, things that led all over the place and seemed a little disjointed rather then a whole novel strung together.

While it’s good to have the loose ends starting to be tied up, and knowing the end is near to the series, my biggest problem for this book is the one that I’ve had for the last several books with this series. I started reading the books a few years ago when I was sick in bed, and marathon read the first five books back to back while stuck in bed, then was stuck to one book a year. While it was still enjoyable, the books started to feel like place holders to me by the time Owen was removed from time island, just drawing out the long fight to Ragnarok, and it just became boring to me. But alas, I had to know how the series ended. And I would enjoy the books more if I hadn’t had to wait five years to complete the whole series to read. The other big problem I had from the beginning books, was that when Granuaile became a druid, the books started doing multiple first person views, and if you don’t pay attention to the pictures that tell you who’s chapter it is, things can get confusing very quickly. You have been warned, and hopefully when the last book comes out tomorrow, which is on my list to read this week, we’ll see a good ending for such a long windup to a ending.

“We think we want answers. But what we really want are the right answers. Human nature. We ask questions that we hope will give us the truth we want to hear. The problem is, you can’t choose your truths. Truth has a habit of simply being the truth.”

The Chalk Man by CJ Tudor

4 out of 5 stars

A story that flashes between the past and present, to show how they were completely entwined. For to get to the present, you have to first survive your past. And for Eddie Adams, surviving his past, had been a test of will.

Starting that summer when a group of kids get a gift of chalk, they leave messages everywhere for each other. Until, the messages start showing up where none of them are putting them. A childhood game, takes a decidely twisted turn when the marks lead straight to a body. And as secrets and human nature take over....well. Some questions, are better left without answers.

A novel that kept me fascinated and interested, and the person I thought it was, turned out to be completely innocent. It was....at it’s heart, a look at the human condition, and what anger, religion and obsession will do to a person.Even till the last page, obsession colors things. Changes things. Make you wonder what happened. Until the end, it’s a story of how things can become twisted up and needful to survive.  And one of my favorite parts of the book, wasn’t in the actual book,but in the acknowledgements when CJ mentions a gift from a friend to her daughter, started the whole thing, and she says “Look what you have done.” It made me crack up, and wonder, look what you have done. Changed the world, made someone look at how obsession can warp even the sanest person.

Lift and Separate by Marilyn Simon Rothstein

3 out of 5 stars

Married to a man that spends his life creating bras for other women, Marcy is still surprised when her husband is found having a affair with one of his models, her life comes apart at the seams. Suddenly finding herself on her own for the first time in 33 years, Marcy finds that even when it hurts like a gut shot, she is able to find her own way. When life keeps throwing curve balls at her, Marcy learns to hit back. In this amusing, touching look at what happens when your life hits you hard, and grief knocks you off your feet, it;’s a good weekend read.

While it was a good read, and not one I regret buying, and probably will recommend to others who just need a good laugh, it’s not a instant classic. It’s just a good amusing look at how life hits us all sometimes.

Can you keep a secret by sophie kinsella

3 out of 5 stars

A amusing look at what happens when you find your whole secret life, all those secrets everyone bottles up, spilled out to whoever is listening. When Emma has a turbulent flight, she finds herself spilling all her secrets to the businessman sitting next to her. Only, the plane lands safely and she thinks she can safely put her embarrassing outburst behind her. Only to walk into work and find the man waiting for her. A man who knows all those little things she’s hidden from the world. How in the world will she survive Jack Harper?

It’s a quick, easy read that would terrify anyone. Not because of the idea of love at first sight, but we’ve all had those moments were a secret we didn’t want to tell comes spilling out our mouths. So to have a whole book based on that, is a amusing read as these two work things out. Much like the other two of Kinsella’s books I read, I figured out fairly quickly it was going to have a happy ending, but it was still a amusing read. A good, average book, nothing truly spectacular, but amusing.

“I think a relationship is like two stories. Like...two open books,pressing together, and all the words mingle into one big, epic story. But if they stop mingling....then they turn into two stories again. And that’s when it’s over. The books shut. The end.”

Surprise Me by Sophie Kinsella

4 out of 5

When a doctor gives Sylvie and Dan Winter a clean bill of health and a prediction of another 68 years together, the two 32 year olds could only freak out. Like, they’ve already been together 10 years. Who could imagine another 68? So, they come up with a idea. A way to intrigue and inspire their marriage. Project Surprise Me. Surprises and presents given to the other to simply be good.

But when things start popping up and not everything starts matching up, Sylvie thinks her world is unraveling. And what kind of surprise can unburying the past bring, and has she ruined her marriage instead of saving it, by saying surprise me?

Okay, so I spent some of this book utterly amazed by the writing style and wanting to read more of her books. Then I realized something truly amusing. That I’d already recently read a book of hers-yep, that’s right, for those of you following, Undomestic Goddess- and hadn’t been that impressed by it. Goes to show that even good authors sometimes have off books. This was good, well paced, and amusing, because really, everyone’s had a surprise that’s gone wrong. So I went and picked up some of her other books, we’ll see how well they go. You guys will hear about it eventually, but for now, enjoy this amusing look at a marriage and life.

The Secret Lives of the Tsars by Michael Farquhar

3 out of 5 stars

Following in chronological order from the very beginnings of a empire, this book looks at the lives and problems of a autocratic dynasty. One of the longest reigning dynasties in history, the Romanov’s had a long history or ruling well....along with very badly, and with utter insanity and things that they made normal, that would have gotten anyone but a sitting ruler into a insane asylum.

Following it from the very beginning with Ivan the Terrible, to the very tragic end with a couple who would have served the world better had they been born poor, it’s a good brief look at what secretly fascinates all history buffs. Royals behaving badly.

It’s a good short read, well. After a fashion. It’s a decent sized book, but I found it better to read in short bursts, between other books, when I needed a break from fiction or just to let my mind relax and go over history I already knew. I read alot of history books like that, simply because my head sometimes is all cluttered up, it’s just nice to go over stories I already know.

“She’s like a cat you know? I figure she has nine lives....but can you maybe guess what I’m going to say next?” “You’re always worried that this time is the tenth?”

The Forgotten Girl by David Bell

3 out of 5 stars

Jason danvers has lived with the knowledge that his best friend has been missing for 27 years. That his sister is a alcoholic who’s life is falling apart around her. It’s been five years since he saw his sister, and when she turns up on his front step asking for a favor, more then anything, he wants to believe the change in her. That she’s cleaned up, gotten it together. But when she asks him to allow her 17 year old daughter stay with him and his wife as she takes care of some things, he worries.

When she disappears, Jason is left holding his family together as secrets from the past start to implode. When one person is trying to correct a past wrong, a secret that should have never hidden, is it human nature to want it to stop, to hide it away? Well, Hayden danvers is about to find out, that telling the truth, sometimes means paying the price.

A good read, a easy one. A fairly predictable after awhile, but a decent week read for after a long day at work. Simply a good story without taxing your mind to hard to follow everything.