yourstrulyksm - Tumblr blog

yourstrulyksm · 11 months

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ALL OF THE GIRLS YOU LOVED BEFORE. | ksm.

➨ pairing: kim seungmin x SHS!reader.

➨ note: not proofread, highschool x forbidden love trope.

➨ word count: 7.5k

Seungmin was known as the biggest asshole among the juniors and seniors in highschool. No one knew what he was up to, breaking all these girls’ hearts and all.

so I wondered, how did I manage to make him treat me like this?

I walked around campus for a little while as classes have not started yet. I still had two hours before studying and had absolutely nothing to do, so here I was, walking around, kicking dried leaves that fell from trees.

i stopped in front of a big tree, this was my signature place.

I sat on the bench that was under the tree and took a book out to do something to entertain me. As much as I wanted to take my phone out and chat with people, I had no one to chat with — which left me no choice but to read.

It's not like I was reading something educational; I was reading fiction.

this school year had been tough for me, my class rank went down from first to fifth, I stopped being a people pleaser which made my friends progressively leave me, Day by day.

It’s fine, it's the last year of senior year anyway.

But other than that, I was focused on one person, and that was none other than Kim Seungmin.

me and seungmin was never fond of each other, we were always fighting since we met each other and this year, he bullied me so much to the point where I lost the energy to even do anything back.

it’s not because I was offended or affected by the things he did or said, it was just because I realized that I would benefit nothing from fighting all day with him — about absolutely nothing.

I never understood why he hated me, he would often try to trip me where there were a lot of people around, hide my things for laughs, make rumours about me, and more.

I don't even care anymore, but him and his friends’ bullying doesn't seem to stop.

to be honest, when he didn't use to bully me as much, half of me enjoyed arguing with him. I was enjoying it because he didn't do physical things, but now he had just gotten worse, worse than I ever imagined.

I don't even remember the first time we started fighting and why. all I knew was that he hated me and that was not gonna die down soon.

speaking of the devil, “hey loser,” A familiar light brown haired boy stood in front on me with a couple of his friends trailing him behind.

“What do you want, seungmin?” I blurted out, my voice having an annoyed tone to it.

“we’re not even halfway through the school year and you're already stressed, it's only march.” he mocked me, making me look up to see that nasty smirk he had.

“I did not ask that... I asked you about what you wanted?” I raised my eyebrow at him, completely ignoring what he had said earlier.

“Nothing much really, How are you doing y/n?”

I knew for a fact that he wasn’t actually asking me if I was okay, I knew that he would try to pull some sick joke that would ‘offend me’

“Better than fine seungmin, how about you?” I played along his little games, I honestly am itching to know what he actually wants.

“Doing better than you, as always.” Whatever, I’m aware that he has an answer for everything, why did I even bother to respond to him.

“Well thank you for your time, you can go on with your day now.” I smiled warmly at him. it was fake but I couldn't think of a better idea of shooing him away.

He walked away, murmuring something to his friends and laughing about it which I certainly knew was about me.

I continued to listen to music and read my book at peace when seungmin left, I know I should've just ignored him but he wouldn't leave me alone unless he completely ruins my day, but to his dismay, I just don't care anymore.

Half of me wished that we were in a book; where in the end we’re either going to end up as friends or lovers. It might be weird, but I would do anything for him to stop bullying me,

even if it was being his lover.

I would basically be delusional if I said that was possible, so I shrugged off the thought.

After almost an hour of reading, I realized that I ran out of coffee. I was too focused on what I was reading that I forgot I had classes in only thirty minutes from now.

I took all of my things and went outside of campus to buy coffee from my favorite coffee shop.

Time passed by and I already had my order and was ready to leave when seungmin walked inside the café.

weird, I never knew he went here.

he and his friends laughed at me again for an unknown reason while I did my thing and completely ignored them.

there was one thing I did whenever I saw seungmin in public; it was to ignore him completely like I've never met him before.

I was afraid that he’ll embarrass me in front of people that wasn't from our university. Being humiliated in front of people from uni was already horrible and being humiliated from strangers didn't make a difference, just worse.

I tried my best to ignore him, but I don't think he was gonna let me go back inside campus without embarrassing me in front of everybody.

I was cautious around my surroundings, I knew any time now he would be sticking his foot out to trip me, so I was looking carefully everywhere.

I was able to leave the shop without getting terrorized by no other than seungmin. It was honestly a surprise and achievement to escape his terrorizing and I was here for it.

I finally calmed down and reached my campus, continuing to enter and go straight to first period.

I wasn't too late to class and not that much people were there, and gladly my favorite seat wasn’t taken by anyone yet.

I sat by the window and put my things down under my desk, I pulled out my textbook to review some topics as we had a pop quiz today.

I wasn’t stressing out as much because I was actually able to focus yesterday unlike the past few days before yesterday and I completely understood the topic.

I always enjoyed first period and the rest of my classes before lunch because well, me and seungmin didn't have the same schedule which is a relief.

But still, we had the same classes from fifth to ninth period which was hell for me, I’m so tired of crumbled paper and paper planes being constantly threw at me.

usually, those paper planes and crumpled paper will have something written in in; I always fail to not read them because of curiosity as there's something different written in it every single time.

I ignored my thoughts and continued studying until the teacher came.

Time passed by fast as the class finally ended with the school alarms lowly blaring. I breathed the sigh of relief as I stretched out my arms and back from staying still for too long.

right before I went out, I put my headphones in, not wanting to interact with anyone i see; especially that guy.

While walking to my next period, I passed by seungmin who was clueless of my presence — thankfully.

he looked troubled while he was looking for the things inside his backpack. Was it karma?

I ignored it and continued walking towards my class, and to my dismay, seungmin ran back and ‘accidentally’ pushed me.

I fell to the ground as he looked back at me, staring down, probably contemplating if he should help me or not.

To my surprise, he started picking up the books that fell from my hands and gave them back to me. He muttered a little ‘I’m sorry’ and ran back to where he was before, probably still looking for the missing object.

I stood still, I was speechless since this was the first ever time that he did something like this.

Earlier morning, he was just mocking me and probably talking bad about me with his friends and now he's helping me pick up my things?

Why should I even think too much about it, It was his fault anyway, he accidentally pushed me, he's REQUIRED to help me.

it just feels so impossible and unreal for him to do something like that...

I once again shrugged it off and continued walking to my next class, grabbing a new drink from the cafeteria before going because my coffee was already finished.

once I reached class, the seat by the window was already taken, there was only one seat left; it was at the very back.

I'm not complaining though, but I do lack focus whenever I'm back there.

I suddenly remembered when I just started highschool, I always sat at the back of the class…

with… seungmin?

Oh, now I remember.

We used to be chill around each other because we had a lot of similarities, then suddenly, everything turned into a competition of who likes what better.

then it became academic, I won a lot when it came to acads, but these days he’s either ranked one or two, never lower.

his friends was right below him, meaning I was below his friends.

I don't remember exactly what we fought about, but at least now I know some detail.

I also remembered having a small crush on seungmin?

whatever.

I probably only did because he was the only person I talked to and he was also the only person in the whole campus with the same level as me.

the teacher walked in snapping me out of my trance, she didn't wait any second and started discussing, leaving me no choice but to listen.

Throughout the whole class, I felt uncomfortable because not only was my pants feeling all itchy, but my head and my back hurts and I kept on unconsciously trying to recall me and seungmin’s past interactions.

I lost focus on the lesson but still kept trying to listen whenever I catch myself losing focus. I needed to get my rank back.

I was doing something wrong with my acads but I don't know what, if I don't get my rank back this semester I will surely get myself tutored.

But to be honest, getting tutored traumatized me. My parents used to hire really rude tutors before to get me studying ‘well’ and all.

But if I needed to get tutored to get my rank back, I WILL get tutored.

I didn't realize that the class already ended, students were already packing their stuff and leaving while I was just staring at the half blank white board that was now being wiped by the teacher.

I quickly gathered my things and left, I knew I was gonna pass by seungmin again but remembering what he did earlier, I didn't worry too much.

As expected, I passed by seungmin and to my surprise, he was walking with a sweet girl. he had his arms wrapped around her while they were laughing and talking.

oh how I felt bad for the girl. She's gonna get her heart broken like the others.

I said nothing as I noticed seungmin taking a quick glance at me and looking away. I pretended not to notice and kept walking.

So many unusual things already happened today and I don't want to encounter more, because what the hell is happening?

first of all, seungmin bullied me and suddenly became nice, I remembered all of our interactions and lost focus, and now he's walking with a random girl who's ‘bout to get her heart broken.

I've seen enough for today, I’m already so drained. I just want this day to end, it feels so long.

I only had two more classes left before lunch and that still wasn't enough to keep me content, I needed this to finish early.

I can't take more of this bullshit.

I let time fly and barely noticed that i was already walking to the cafeteria, I walked to the back of the line and waited for my turn.

When I got my beverages, I went straight to the rooftop.

I didn't like eating inside the cafeteria, There was a lot of people there and I couldn't bear the loudness.

when I was at the last step, the door from the rooftop swung open revealing a girl crying real hard and running.

the same girl seungmin was with earlier.

after her, the expected came out.

A disappointed, bored looking seungmin comes out. arms crossed and walking slowly.

I tried to ignore him and walked straight past him but of course, he became the person he was this morning.

“Y’know, you’re a real loser eating here all alone everyday.” he looked at me with a straight and serious face.

I unwrapped my burger and took a bite, pretending to not have heard him as I had my headphones on.

“i know you can hear me.”

“i know you can stop being an asshole if you wanted to.” I blurted out, I was already as annoyed by everything and I didn't want him interrupting me.

“that doesn't even- you know what, I don't care.” — “just why are you choosing to be such a loser when you can just socialize?” he boredly asks,

“and why can't you stop annoying me! why can't you stop bullying me and breaking other girls’ hearts?! why are you doing all of this when you can just become a better person?!” I yelled at him, causing him to stay silent.

“why can't you just work on yourself than to try to make me better?” I muttered.

“Because I can’t okay!” He yelled at me, I now noticed the tears that were forming in his eyes.

“Yes you can! you were a much better person when I first met you!” I yelled back, I won't let myself lose in this so-called argument.

“I miss you seungmin.” I finally admitted, looking at him with full of hope that he’ll understand.

“what?” he looks back up, trying to process what I just said.

“i said I missed you, seungmin.” I stood still, not sure of what to do or why I said that.

“How? what do you mean? I don't understand.” he looks at me teary eyed and confused.

“i meant I miss the old you, the person who was fun and chill, the person who used to listen to music with me in my classes, the person who ranted to me when he needed to and also the person that I could rant to.” at this point, I could feel the tears in my eyes start to form.

“I-... I’m really, really, really sorry y/n.” He breaks down completely and falls on the ground, covering his face with both of his hands.

I couldn't help but feel bad, he looked like a complete mess right now.

I couldn't move and didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to do something.

I went closer to him and cupped his face with both of my hands, “i forgive you seungmin, cry it all out.” after that, I hugged him and ruffle his hair while doing so.

I could feel the warmth of his breath hit my neck as he finally hugged me back and cried more onto my neck.

He was mumbling his apologies and reasons while i only sat there and kept on comforting the poor boy.

I soon enough invited him to eat with me, and he gracefully agreed.

After lunch, me and seungmin went straight to our classes.

After that, all I knew was my day went smoothly with seungmin who wasn't bullying me, and in fact was even chatting with me when we got the chance.

All of our classes are finally finished and we bid our goodbyes and separated ways.

After walking for a bit, I realized that I left my phone in our classroom.

I rushed to the classroom I was last in and went straight to my seat, thankfully, the phone was still there.

while I was walking my way back, I saw a beat up seungmin sitting on the floor and leaning on the wall.

I ran close to him, “shit, what happened?” I immediately sat down and took out the first aid kit that I always bring as I tend to be really clumsy and fall wherever I go.

“some... some group of guys stole my stuff.” he groaned while pressing onto his bruised eye.

“that looks pretty bad. let me-” I stopped talking as I focused to medicate the wounds on his face.

as I was finishing patching him up, he suddenly spoke, “why are you even helping me? you suffered so much because of me.” for a small momentum, I stayed quiet.

I realized that he was staring at me the whole time.

“the clinic is closed... when you get home, put an ice pack on this would you?” I said, pointing at his bruised eye and ignoring his question.

he gave me a reassuring nod and stood up as I did the same.

“I guess I have to go now...? bye seungmin, stay safe.” I smiled warmly at him and turned away when he grabbed my arm and turned me around.

“thank you y/n... thank you for forgiving me and helping me. I’m really thankful that you're here.” he held my hand tightly, looking at me straight in the eyes.

I stayed quiet while just looking at him. “Y/n, I... I love you.” — “This is serious, I'm not playing with you or anything, I really do love you.”

I kept quiet.

“I loved you from the start, when I first met you, but things went wrong at home and I took my anger out on people here because I thought it would be unfair if everyone was feeling fine and I wasn't. I regret everything I really do, and you made me realize that.” he sighs as he looks down, letting go of my hands.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds and I finally talked. “it’s okay, I told you right? you could change...” — “and seungmin...” I said and picked up the both of his hands, recreating his previous action.

“i love you too.” I stared at him with sincerity in my eyes.

Seungmin broke down again and hugged me tightly, I did the same thing back and patted his back. I stayed silent, there was no need to say anything.

We were quiet for a few minutes. Seungmin wasn't hugging me anymore, but his head was laying on my shoulder.

“Hey… let’s go home and talk about it, huh?” I cupped both of his cheeks as I stared at his flushed face.

His hair was messy, his eyes were puffy, his lips were plump and was pinkish while his nose and his ears were red.

I tilted my head waiting for a response as he just nodded his head.

We both stood up from the slippery floor and walked out of campus, finally.

“Y/n, do you want to… hang out for a bit?” he asked, staring at me with puppy eyes

I smiled warmly, “of course, minnie.” I said as I wiped the tears in his eyes, making him smile slightly with a hint of joy in him.

I was taken aback when he linked his arms with mine and kept on walking towards the closest café.

I stayed silent the whole time, I wish I stayed in this moment, forever.

We entered the café, arms still linked. “Do you want me to order for you?” — “Actually, that's not a question, I'll order for you. what do you want to get?” he asked, and finally unlinked our arms.

“Um, are you going to pay? I can pay for my-” before I could finish, he cut me off, “no. I will pay y/n, I owe you my life.”

“I get that I kind of changed you, but don't be drastically dramatic.” I laughed and looked at him,

“shush… just tell me what you’d like… it's an order.” he cutely shushes me like a little kid, “okay fine, I’d like to have a belgium chocolate latte, please.” I smiled at him and leaned on my hand for support.

“Of course, m’lady.” He smiled again and winked at me, I rolled my eyes at his flirty response and waited for him to come back.

A few minutes later, he came back with two drinks and a few donuts that I didn’t ask for. He probably got hungry from getting beaten up or something.

I was surprised when he gently pushed the plate of donuts towards me, “I got you some extra stuff, maybe you’d like it?” he smiles at me with shiny eyes,

“What… you know what, I'm not even gonna decline. but let's share, okay?” I jokingly say, “whatever you want, my puppy.”

damn, we aren't even dating yet.

I laughed at his sentence and decided to sip my drink and take a bite of the food, at the same time feeding him.

I noticed how his ears would get extremely red when I gave him a bite of the donut, “you’re whipped.” I seriously but jokingly said, “yes ma’am.” He closed his eyes and nodded as a response.

I laughed at his silly little response and kept on doing my thing.

Half an hour had already passed and we decided that we should go home as the sky was getting darker.

“Can I take you home?” He asks with the same puppy eyes he gave me earlier. as much as I wanted to scream and run and say yes, I stood strong.

“Seungmin, we've already spent a lot of time with each other, no need for more.” I said and placed my phone back inside my bag, he pouted at my response and crossed his arms, turning away from me.

I chuckled, “what are you doing?” He turned around my with his little pouty face and rolled his eyes, I didn't know he was so childish with people he was close with,

or only with me…?

“Please let me walk you home…” he mumbled loud enough for me to hear. “Seungmin, will you date me in the future?” I asked, waiting for a response.

Seungmin seemed to have choked on his words and turned to me, “of course?” he says in a questioning tone, like it was the most obvious thing.

“Then walk me home when we’re dating. Bye minnie! stay safe.” I said and walked the opposite way, I heard him groan and finally talk, “fine! stay safe too, Y/n.” — “thanks for today…” I wasn't too far to not hear as I smiled at his response.

I reached my house and the next thing I knew was I already took a shower and was ready to take a nap. I know this nap is gonna be peaceful remembering what happened today.

I was only supposed to take a nap but it turned into sleep, I woke up the next morning with horrible hair but a pretty face, odd.

I guess it was probably because I wasn't too stressed yesterday.

I got ready for school and time passed by like it was in a time lapse. I was able to focus well on my classes and even got a perfect score on two of my quizzes in two different subjects.

It was finally lunch break as I low-key searched for seungmin in the cafeteria, I just couldn't let him know that I was looking for him.

My heart rose as I saw Seungmin sitting at a table with a group of his friends, they were talking normally and laughing with each other.

I wanted to call his name so bad, I wanted to let him know that I was looking for him.

After a couple of moments of being interrupted by the noises of the cafeteria while eating, my mood suddenly changed.

Some girl was trying to hit on seungmin.

Why do I care? we're not together anyways.

that girl’s a whore.

why am I so affected anyway, he's still a player after all.

rip that girl’s ugly fucking face apart.

I ran to the rooftop, frustrated at the random thoughts that popped up inside of my head. I needed to clear my mind for a moment.

This is why I never eat at the damned cafeteria.

I tried to shrug the thought off and chewed my food ‘till there was almost nothing left, but then suddenly, the door swung open, revealing a smiling seungmin and the whore who now looked like she was ready to make out with him.

My heart dropped as I saw that they were about to kiss, in fucking front of me.

“get a room.” I say as I pretended to be disgusted by the two and walked out, I saw seungmin’s shocked face before I did and that was all it took for me to start crying.

It was too stressful for me and I couldn't take it anymore. I went home crying and running. Does he treat every girl like how he treats me?

I didn't mind changing my clothes as I was too focused on the fact that seungmin was doing shit with other girls and it gave me a huge horrendous amount of feeling betrayed.

I cried myself to sleep as I had nothing better to do, my only choice was to cry about it because no one knows about what happened to the both of us anyway.

only him.

I shouldn't have trusted him.

I guess trust issues are actually useful sometimes, I should've let it take over.

I woke up from the sound of rocks being thrown at my window, I looked at the time and I knew that by this time my parents would be asleep. who could be throwing rocks at my window at two in the morning?

People would hate me if I said I didn't hesitate to look at who was throwing at the window because one, it's stupid, and two, it could be a killer and my life could be in danger.

but I couldn't care any less, I just wanted to make the dude stop. I just want rest and I can't even get that as well.

I stared in shock when I saw who was in our backyard, it was none other than seungmin.

Society would say that I'm stupid or I'm making a fool of myself if it found out that I let him in, because I mean, he got me pretty fucked up in just a day.

As he entered, I backed away, I didn't want to be close to him even though I literally let him enter my room through my window.

“Y/n are you mad?” He looked at me worriedly, “Well I don’t know seungmin, am I mad?” I looked at him straight in the eyes with an emotionless face.

“You might have misunderstood, it really wasn't what it looked like-” I cut him off, I didn't want to hear more.

“Misunderstood that you were close to fucking that girl? don't worry, it’s okay seungmin. we're not dating.” I replied bluntly and crossed my arms, at this point, I wanted to cry but no tears would come out.

I chuckled, “You’re so good at acting, minnie.” I combed my hair with my hand as I crossed my arms back again after, “please… I didn't mean to…” He walked closer towards me with a ‘pitiful’ face others might say.

“No, no, it’s okay seungmin! totally fine! I mean why are you even apologizing? like we're not even dating bro.” I sarcastically responded to his lame apology.

“I’ll explain, She claimed to have liked me for years and I didn't know what to do so I acted through it! and she suddenly brought me to the rooftop and I don't know… I left her after I saw you.” he explained, making everything clear for me.

“so seungmin, are you implying that if we dated and some girl confessed to you, you’d fuck her?” I laughed and kept my arms crossed.

“No! no y/n please I really didn't want to! but my friends were making fun of me and calling me names and all…” he scratched his head, I've had enough of this bullshit.

“LAME! you're fucking lame! What kind of excuse is that?! leave my room right now. right now seungmin! fucking asshole.” I yelled and mumbled the last two words. I was so pissed off that I felt as if I wanted to jump off a cliff and die so that he could feel guilty.

The last thing I knew, he was hugging me and crying on my shoulder while repeatedly saying ‘I’m sorry, please don't leave me. I love you.

it broke my heart seeing him like this. my emotions took over me and forgave him, in the end, I was laying my head on his arm while staring at the ceiling.

the dim lamp made it comfortable enough for me to stay still, staying as quiet as ever.

“Y/n please understand if I want to keep our relationship a secret, if we start dating… y’know…” he suddenly speaks, not moving an inch.

“why?” I asked emotionlessly and bluntly, “because of my friends… My parents know you. my friends will snitch on me once they find out that I'm dating you.”

“why?” I repeated my question having no energy to form a proper conversation.

“Your parents, my parents, they know each other. my family talks a lot about how they're trying to beat each other on sales and will do anything to beat them, even if it means risking someone’s life.” he explained as I stayed silent, everything was starting to clear up.

“Seungmin, I'm sleepy.” I exclaimed and yawned, he played with my hair as I slowly melted at his touch and eventually dozed off and slept peacefully.

I woke up the next morning to see that seungmin was no longer by my side, there was only a pillow on where he had his arm and I was laying on it, he must've left while I was sleeping.

I got ready for school and the same thing happened just like any other day. I went to my classes, ate at the rooftop, went home and completely pretended that seungmin didn't exist at all.

it was already night time as I was getting ready to sleep, scrolling a bit on my phone before I heard someone throw rocks on my window again.

It's seungmin.

I let him in as he gave me a hug when he stepped inside, I hugged him back tiredly and laid down on my bed as he did the same as last night, putting his arms under my head as a pillow.

“I missed you, minnie.” I exclaimed. “I missed you too, my y/n. he replied back.

“How was your day?” he asked, “aren’t your friends wondering why you aren't bothering me at school?” I asked, completely ignoring his question.

“Oh, yeah, they did.” he scratched his head, “what did you say?” I asked,

“I said that there was no point of it anymore, and that I got lazy.” he responded. “m‘kay.” I replied effortlessly as all I wanted to do was sleep. Today was a tiring day from me and I can't even say or do anything properly.

“You seem really tired… y/n.” he says as he played with my hair like last night, “It was a stressful day.” I explained bluntly and closed my eyes.

“I have something important to ask you.” He suddenly says, making me shocked on the inside but having no energy to show it.

“What is it?” I asked nervously, “Can you be my girlfriend?” he turned to me and cupped my face with his right hand.

“huh… you're just tired. Let's get some rest.” I say and shrug it off, closing my eyes once again.

“No y/n, please give me the permission to be yours. to be your boyfriend.” he says, making me open my eyes, I now realized what he has said was serious.

“seungmin… of course.” I say in happiness. I couldn't explain how happy I was, despite the fact that I was all sleepy and tired, I still managed to have the energy to smile and hug him tightly.

He kept on playing with my hair while hugging me back too, “Goodnight, sleep well, love.” I was too tired to respond and dozed off.

As expected, I woke up the next morning with seungmin gone and a pillow under my head.

I got ready, did what I did on a daily basis and everything was going completely normal.

I went to class, ate at the rooftop, went home, and have seungmin throw rocks at my window.

I woke up the next day with seungmin gone like usual and the same cycle repeats over and over again.

Six months passed and the same thing happened every single day, except I was doing better in my studies and I was now ranked second.

I was walking normally when I saw seungmin talking to a girl who seemed to be flirting with him, he didn't seem to react the same way the girl was acting and stayed there, standing still while staring at her blankly.

I was relieved to see that he reacted like this, but suddenly, the girl started crying and pulled him into the… fucking janitor’s closet?

I stomped my way to the janitor’s closet, kicking the door open with all my strength.

“And what do you think you're doing?” I grabbed the girl by the collar, never in my life had I thought I'd do this, not even something similar to this.

I glared at the girl while she stared at me in shock.

“Talk, bitch!” I said as I slapped her, seungmin got a hold of my hand which made me stop, “why are you causing such a ruckus y/n?” I froze hearing him call me by my name which he hadn't done since we started dating.

He looked at me coldly, as if we didn't know each other at all.

“what…?” I looked at seungmin, feeling betrayed. He pulled me out of the closet leaving the girl alone and took me to the same rooftop I just came from.

“Are you out of your mind?! do you want my family to find out and break us apart y/n?!” he yelled at me, rubbing his forehead in frustration.

“You might now care but I do, I care. I don't want my parents to fucking find out! I'll fucking die!” He yelled again, kicking an empty can of soda from the floor.

“So you'll let her do shit to you? huh!?” — “I’ve had enough of your bullshit seungmin! This is the second fucking time you let someone try to fuck you!” I yelled back at him, I wasn't backing down now.

“Y/n do you really not understand?! Did you ever consider my damn feelings!?” He turned around.

that sentence broke me completely, I absolutely had nothing to say.

“We’re not getting anywhere. I can't do this anymore, I tried to work this secret relationship shit thing and it's just not working. Let's end this. I'm breaking up with you.” I stared at him in frustration and sadness.

his face dropped, “fuck… no wait, I mean, I'm sorry babe, I’m just really stressed today-” I cut him off, “don’t sugarcoat it now seungmin, I'm sick of this bullshit.” I didn't say anything anymore as I felt like I was gonna have a mental breakdown right there.

In fact, I really wanted to work out things with him but I just couldn't, if our parents hate each other so much then there was no way, we were only in senior highschool and didn't have a job to at least support our decisions with.

I knew it was better to end things with him. It was the right person, but it was the wrong time.

If only I had met him when we're in college, working or something I could work out stuff with him because I know he can handle things without depending on his parents, but I didn't, I had no choice.

seven months passed and I finally was in college. I moved out and got my own apartment that my parents provided me that I soon enough would completely own as I finally got myself a part time job at a nearby hotel.

Being a receptionist was more than enough to keep me alive which led me to renting a larger and fancier apartment.

I was loving my new life at my job, college, my house, everything.

I also met a couple of new people who were hyunjin and jeongin, I met them at a campus project that required working with other college students and we met from making background props for apparently a really big film showing only in a month.

It was a perfectly fine day when I was met with a familiar light-brown haired boy who was looking… more decent now.

I was asked to show him around campus and tell him about all the upcoming large projects we have.

Wow, great timing and great person.

There was an awkward silence between us as I scanned him, he was wearing a simple blue cardigan jacket and some baggy white pants with some good ‘ol Jordans.

“Hi… Y/n. Long time no see.” He broke the silence by speaking in a happy tone that had a hint of nervousness in it.

“Hey, seungmin… I didn't expect to be seeing you today.” it was probably because the school saw on his information that he went to the same school as me in highschool and thought that we’d know each other.

Well great, because we do.

“Um… so…” he spoke and looked down, looking for words to say, “do you wanna see the campus or talk about the projects we have soon?” I talked confidently, I was NOT gonna show him that I was nervous.

To be honest, I missed him a lot but moved on from the past and now think of our past relationship as a sweet little memory of my highschool days.

“Um- we can talk about the projects! if that’s okay…” he said as I noticed his ears get red, like it used to. he's even more shy now.

stop it y/n.

“Yeah, totally. Where do you wanna talk? here or somewhere outside campus?” I asked nicely, waiting for a response.

“Uh, can we talk in a café or something?” He chuckled lightly, oh shit, the memories.

“Oh, yeah, of course.” I said as I put my phone back inside my sling bag and waited for him to lead the way.

He brought me to the closest café and we started talking about the upcoming projects and what he needed to help with. We finished talking after only half an hour and I was finally getting ready to leave.

“Hey y/n, you seem to know everything about campus. Why is that?” He asked me genuinely, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m the university’s vice president.” I chuckled without looking at him, just gathering all of my things and shoving them in my bag.

“Actually, I've been saving up the courage to ask you this since earlier but can we talk about… you know?”

I knew it, I knew this was gonna happen.

I sat back down and sighed, “fine, make it quick. please.” I pleaded, to be honest I actually never wanted this conversation to end but of course I wasn't gonna say that to my literal ex.

“I… you know what, I'm not gonna talk about the past… I'm just gonna tell you how my days have been, is that okay?” Was he just trying to spend his time with me longer?

“Yeah, go on…” I said, “so… kinda unusual but I'm a caregiver, and I've got my own apartment too, my parents aren't controlling me anymore, thankfully. And yeah, I guess life’s pretty decent… but empty without…” he said, not finishing his words

“What about you, y/n?” He suddenly asked, “well, life’s alright. I'm doing well with my studies and I have an apartment too. I'm also a part time receptionist at a hotel,” I exclaimed.

he smiled, “You’re a receptionist? you must be rich now.” He laughed, “Not to be egoistic or over-confident or something but, it's kinda like that.” I joked around.

“But… gosh. I can't take it anymore, can we… hang out? sometimes?

I stayed silent, I didn't know what to respond. my choice would either fix all of my life problems or make more problems, but I'm saying yes.

“...okay.” I responded bluntly and stood up, “see you… tomorrow. I’ll show you around campus.” I left without hesitation.

I felt suffocated inside there, my heart was pumping really hard after I realized what I just did, I really agreed to repeat history with that guy, with seungmin.

I went home as we didn't really have school today, we just met up because the teacher just wouldn't let me skip a day and the student council wouldn't let me skip an after school meeting either.

It was already dark and I had to go to work today so I rushed home and changed into my work attire and went straight to work.

Weeks and weeks have past and me and seungmin actually started to hang out, things were working out better than before. We were able to go around places without being scared of being seen talking to each other in a friendly way.

Then suddenly, he invited me over to a café… a café I will never forget.

It was the café that we went to a lot when we were in highschool.

I felt nervous and suffocated but I still went. My heart beating rapidly was also not helping, I saw him sitting there, wearing a sweater and baggy jeans near the glass wall, the same seat we were sitting in when we first made up with each other.

I sat in front of him, waiting for him to say something.

“Y/n… hi.” he greeted me, looking as nervous as ever. I tried to act normal and keep my cool while I was speaking though, someone here had to act all cool.

“Here’s your drink, I ordered earlier.” he says smiling while slightly pushing the drink towards me. I stared at the drink, A belgium chocolate latte.

“Thanks… so why did you call me?” I asked, “So I’ve been thinking…”

“I… I missed you, romantically. Please give me a second chance, y/n.” he held both of my hands, “Um… well, seungmin…” I was speechless.

“I’m really happy that we’re talking again, I've been so sad since we fell apart. I know we can work it out, I really miss you.” he begged.

“oh…” I sighed, “okay.” I looked down, wanting to just explode because I really gave in.

“thank you, thank you so much y/n you don't know how much you mean to me.” I saw him smile passionately while holding my hands tightly.

“Do you want to come over to my apartment and talk privately about it?” he asked, “Sure, seungmin.” I smiled warmly at him.

Once we were inside his apartment, I was surprised to see how clean it was.

We were now sitting at the couch with our unfinished drinks, “Y/n… will you be my girlfriend… I'll do better, I promise.”

it's not a sin to give him a chance, right?

“Of course.” I smiled warmly at him.

“Yes! Thank you! I love you!” he yelled with excitement and started to peck every part of my face.

After all the pecking he did, he hugged me tightly. “I never thought I was gonna be able to get you back, I love you.” he said while shoving his head on my shoulder.

I ruffled his hair and the next thing I knew, we were already walking at the park.

Months have passed, we were doing amazing, we announced our relationship with everyone and my parents weren't too mad, but his parents definitely were, yet we weren't gonna let them stop up and keep us apart, we didn't do all of this for nothing.

“baby… I love you so much.” seungmin suddenly spoke in his morning voice, facing me and hugging me.

I chuckled at how cute he was when he woke up fresh from sleep, “I love you too, minnie.” I exclaimed, making him laugh, still looking high.

“minnie… do you listen to Taylor swift?” I asked him, turning to him and ruffling his hair, “Yes, of course since you love her so much.” He said,

“Well, I can relate to her, you know.” I smiled, “how?” seungmin asked, “because…”

“all of the girls you loved before made you the one i’ve fallen for. every dead end street led you straight to me, now you're all I need, I'm so thankful for all of the girls you loved before.”

a/n: hi everyone, so yes, as you can tell, this is based on a taylor swift song (all of the girls you loved before) I finished this in only two days so please bear with me if it's bad, but other than that, if you reached it here, congrats. I already consider you as my fan. Thank you for reading and have a great day!

p.s if you want to see my other socials, you can find it at ⤵

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