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yourpsychovengeance · 3 years

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Honoring the lives lost in the Atlanta shooting

Xiaojie 'Emily' Tan, 49

Tan, 49, was the mother of Jami Webb, a recent graduate from the University of Georgia. She was a licensed massage therapist and the owner of Young’s Asian Massage, along with other businesses in the area, including another spa and a tanning salon, according to state records. She was “the sweetest, most kind-hearted, giving, never-met-a-stranger person,” a friend told Atlanta’s WSB-TV. Just one day away from her 50th birthday when she was killed, according to USA Today, Tan was described by her daughter as thoughtful, devoted to her family, and looking forward to traveling in her retirement.

Gofundme update.

Hyun Jung Grant, 51

Hyun Jung Grant was a Korean immigrant who worked at Atlanta’s Gold Spa. Her son Randy Park, 23, shared a tribute to his mother on GoFundMe: He said his mother was a single parent who “dedicated her whole life to providing for my brother and I.” She loved dancing and sushi, according to Park, who told The Daily Beast, “She wasn’t just my mother. She was my friend.” Park, who now has to raise his brother alone, is not buying law-enforcement officials’ suggestion that the attack was motivated by a supposed sex addiction, not racism. “That’s bullshit,” he said.

Delaina Ashley Yaun Gonzalez, 33

Yaun Gonzalez, 33, was a mother of two — 13-year-old Mayson and 8-month-old Mia. She had worked all day on Tuesday at the Waffle House a few shops down from Tan’s spa business. She had been looking forward to having a relaxing night out with her husband, Mario Gonzalez, whom she married only last year, and the couple had reportedly never been to Young’s Asian Massage before. According to Fox 5 Atlanta, family members say that Mario Gonzalez, who survived the shooting, is “taking [the situation] hard.” Delaina Ashley Yaun Gonzalez’s friends and family have set up a GoFundMe to address her funeral costs.

Paul Andre Michels, 54

Michels, 54, was a handyman at Young’s Asian Massage and the owner of an electric company. He was only recently hired for the role and excited to take it on after looking for more work during the pandemic, according to a friend who spoke with CBS46. An army veteran originally from Detroit, Michels is one of nine siblings and is survived by his wife of more than two decades. In an interview with the Guardian, his brother John Michels emphasized his kindness. “He was just a regular guy, very good-hearted, very soft-natured,” he said, while noting that Michels had expressed an interest in getting involved in the massage business.

Gofundme update.

Yong Ae Yue, 63

A licensed massage therapist, she was laid off at the start of the pandemic last year and was excited to finally start shifts at the spa again, her son Elliott Peterson, 42, told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution on Friday morning. Yue’s youngest child, Robert Peterson, 38, agreed, recalling their mother as a kind and deeply caring woman. If you stopped by her house, she’d sit you down, ask if you’d eaten, and then insist on a trip to H Mart grocery store so she could make a meal.

Gofundme update.

Suncha Kim, 69

Suncha Kim, 69, worked at one of the spas in Atlanta. Her family could not be reached for comment. Kim, a grandmother, was married for more than 50 years, a family member told the Times. She enjoyed line dancing and worked hard, the relative said.

Gofundme update: She migrated to the USA from Seoul, South Korea to provide for a better life for my family. Like many asian immigrants, she spoke very little English and worked two to three jobs. This took immense courage and my grandmother was a fighter. She was married to a loving husband who she planned to grow old with. She has two children. A loving son, a loving daughter, and three beautiful grandchildren.

Soon Chung Park, 74

Soon Chung Park, 74, was also a worker at an Atlanta spa. Her family didn’t respond when reached for comment. Park previously lived in New York, where she has relatives, her son-in-law, Scott Lee, told the New York Times. “She got along with her family so well,” Lee told the newspaper.

Update: Gwangho Lee, who like his late wife was born in South Korea, said he met Park through a mutual friend in 2017. She was twice his age, but looked young for her years and, Lee thought, “very beautiful.” Whereas Lee was new to America and struggling to make his way, Sister Park, as friends called her, had long managed for herself. She had had her own business selling jewelry, had grown children from a previous marriage, and in Lee, friends say, she saw a young man in need of help.

Daoyou Feng, 44

Daoyou Feng, 44, began working at Young’s Asian Massage in recent months, according to Tan’s friend Hynson. She was kind and quiet, he said. Her relatives could not be reached for comment.

Elcias Hernandez-Ortiz, 30

Hernandez-Ortiz, 30, was the only survivor of the victims who were shot on Tuesday, and he remains hospitalized for multiple gunshot wounds in his “forehead, throat, lungs and stomach,” according to the Washington Post. He was shot while standing outside in the shopping center where Young’s Asian Massage is located. “He came from nothing and has come a long way; that is why I have faith he will survive this,” his wife Flor Gonzalez told the Washington Post. Gonzalez has also set up a GoFundMe to help with the costs of Hernandez-Ortiz’s medical care.

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yourpsychovengeance · 3 years

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What I'm about to tell you is a true story. Please read until the end and share it to others to raise awareness.

⚠️ TW: R*PE, SU*C*DE ⚠️

⚠️ 18+ ⚠️

I was 5...

You're one of the people from church. You're a funny guy, I always enjoy your jokes and stories. One day you said you want to show me something good and I should follow you. I wish I haven't...

"Suck it, it's just a big lollipop."

"Yummy milk will come out, I promise."

"You wanna put it in here?... I'm afraid it won't fit."

"This is a secret for the both of us only, okay?"

The "milk" wasn't yummy at all and I've always wondered what would've happen to my fragile body if he really put it in. Now, it scares me...

You were never contented, you invited your friends one by one. They all did the same thing.

I regretted and wished I at least told my parents, but I didn't. I was a kid and I didn't know what's happening. He said it's just a game and it's normal. "It was done by many." And so I thought.

It goes on until...

I was 7...

You had the audacity to start your own family and moved to another town.

Even so, your friends remained. It got to the point where I became famous to the boys in our neighborhood without me knowing why. Sometimes, they call me "slut." And here I am with no idea what that means and why they call me that. It goes on until I was a teenager.

Every summer break, an uncle visits my grandma and stays for a week or until classes resume (he was a college student then). I play with him during summer break. It was fine until he found me asleep in my grandma's bed. My grandma was out to buy groceries and we are the only people in the house. All I remember is that I woke up with me lying on his stomach whil he's masturbating. I pretended to be asleep until he finished. At this point I don't know what to feel anymore. I felt empty...

Again, I never told my parents becuse I am a shy kid and I don't talk much about how I feel with anyone, even with my parents. The harrassment stopped when we moved to another town when I was 9.

I'm doing fine, I'm living how a child should be. Enjoying my time playing and studying. I was an honor student. Until I accidentally saw my uncle's lewd magazines when I was 11. I suddenly remembered everything done to me when I was younger. I got confused. I don't know what to feel. All I know is that is how I started learning to masturbate at such a young age. I remembered that I don't like doing it but I can't seem to stop. Sometimes I cry while doing it and I don't even know what to do with it. I'm not even feeling pleasure to it.

I live on with that ever confusing state with a young mind.

I was 12...

We now live with our grandma, back to the town we lived when I was young, because both my parents now work overseas. I don't know what happened to the boys who harrassed me when I was young and I don't care as long as they don't bother me anymore. Or so I thought...

My grandma has a brother and he's older than her. He even uses a cane to help him walk. One time he carassed my thigh while we were sitting. I was so shocked I don't know what to say or do. I've been taught that elderlies must be respected and obeyed or I'll get spanked. When he finally stopped, I immediately ran to the bathroom and cried...

I was 13...

This was the most haunting moment I've experienced. It still haunts my mind every now and then.

My grandma hired a maid. Our maid is young, she was only 17. We got close to each other and I treated her like my big sister. Like how sisters are, we both share our lovelife stories. It was fun, it's a typical teenage life, I even had my puppy love for the first time. He treats me well and he's a gentleman. Unfortunately, we broke up because his mom doesn't like me. Up to this day, I still don't know why she hated me.

Moving on... I liked our maid very much that I go with her even when she goes out during her day offs. One time on her day off, she went home because it's her sister's birthday. I was allowed to go with her and have a sleepover. I was happy. But today, I always wish I haven't gone there...

When we got to their house, they ordered alcohol. I'm not gonna lie, I drank too. It was my first time. In this drinking session, I met her family. That's when I met her brother, he's 24 and works as a driver. Their house is small, shabby and only made of woods and palm leaves. So when it's time to sleep, we all shared one room. They also don't have a bed so we just slept on the floor. I was so wasted that night. It was my first time drinking and I am in no good condition. As everyone was peacefully sleeping, her brother crept beside me and slowly pulled me to the corner. I don't feel good and was half-asleep but I saw him already half naked on top of me. I was about to talk but he covered my mouth with something. I don't know what he did to me but I felt really dizzy. I thought I might fall asleep of the dizziness so I banged my head. It was painful but I managed to slightly open my eyes. I'm still dizzy but I see him sucking my chest. I thought I'm making a lot of noise but nobody is waking up, neither can I talk. I am so confused at that moment. Why is nobody waking up? I was weak but I keep on struggling. But as I was struggling, he caught my hands and tied it behind me. He pulled my hair, shut my mouth with a cloth and banged my head on the pillow. From then on, all I felt was pain. He pulled down his pants and my pants, and he aggressively pushed his way in. It was horrible and painful...

I couldn't do anything. All I know is that I'm in pain and I want it to end. But when he finished, he showed me a cloth and said "Wow, look at all this blood."

I cried.

The morning after, I was silent. I feel so empty, my eyes is empty. I can still feel the pain. Our maid told me to pack up 'cause we're going home. As I was packing up, I heard voices from the window. I saw our maid's brother (the one who r*ped me) and the younger one. The younger one is pointing at his older brother saying "Wtf, she was just a child! That was too much, I can' t do this anymore. I'm so done with you!" As I heard that, I quickly returned to packing my bag. I thought to myself "I am so done with this family, I wanna go home." How could they? So someone was awake while I was suffering and he didn't even dare to stop his brother? DID HE JUST WATCH HIS BROTHER R*PE ME???

When we are about to leave, our maid's brother whispered to me, "Don't ever tell anyone about what happened last night or I'll kill your family."

We're finally back home and I don't know what to do. I was so afraid. I was young and gullible. I couldn't say anything to my parents or grandma 'cause I'm scared. But that night, I couldn't fall asleep. I decided to talk to our maid, that' s how much I trust her. But in the end, she scared me 'cause she boldly asked "Was it good? Did you enjoy it?"

I was speechless. They're all f*cking animals.

It weighed on me like a big boulder on both my shoulders. I kept saying it was just a horrible nightmare but the pain still lingers. Sometimes I slice my wrists or take unprescribed pills to end my suffering. But it just added to my pain.

On one of my worst nights, I contacted my puppy love and told him what has been happening. I know we broke up but we still managed to have secret connections that time because we still like each other. But guess what? He was disgusted by me and he never talked to me ever again since that night.

I lost all my confidante.

A few months later, my mom finally went home for a vacation leave. I cried to her. I just pretended I missed her so much that's why I'm so emotional but her maternal instict got to her. She asked me what really is wrong and that's when I broke down and told her everything. I even told her to keep it a secret 'cause I'm afraid they will really be killed by him.

Of course, she refused.

She contacted my father about it. My father was devastated. She then went to our maid and talked to her, I don't know what about or the details, but she was fired.

After they talked, they went to our maid's house. I don't know the details, all I know is that my mom is so angry and she is taking it to legal matters. She will file a case for what he did.

Sadly and regrettably, it didn't happen. The *ssh*le fled somewhere before he was taken by the authorities. Prior to my r*pe case, we didn't know that he was already wanted because of a m*rder case in another town. Up to this day, he is still missing and wanted.

I was 14...

Hisghschool.

When my puppy love never talked to me again, I lost all my confidence and self-love. I don't know how to respect my self anymore. I feel so dirty. I am a dirtbag, that's what I am. Because of that mindset, I ended up flirting around with boys. I've had many exes whom I let my heart be wasted on. I have never been single. If a boyfriend broke up with me, I find another to flirt with me. I lived my teenage life being a flirt, but I never let them touch me and sometimes that's one of the reasons why they broke up with me. I was trashed by others, they look down on me, but I felt nothing. I lost myself.

As I was fooling around, I met a graduating college student. He was one of our practice teacher. Before he became a practice teacher, we already know each other. We used to chat over the phone. We have a lot of similarities when it comes to interests and so we got close. Despite the age gap, I liked him. We hang out every now and then but he always keep me a secret. He never wants anybody to find us out. He wants to stay low from the crowd.

I know you're gonna say that after everything I've been through, I never learned my lesson. Yeah, I know. You can hate me but it's all in the past now and I've been better.

Going back to the story, I know it was a red flag keeping our relationship secret but I never mind it. I kept my mind clouded from thinking that I finally found someone I can get comfortable with. I am still such a gullible kid I wanna punch my past self.

Until he took me to a motel one time. He said we're just gonna hang out there because in that place, no one will see us. It is a huge red flag, I know what people do in a motel, but I went with him anyway. I really like him, you can say I was really blinded by this so-called love.

When we arrived, we just started watching tv. I feel awkward, of course, we're in a f*cking motel. It's the first time I felt nervous when he get closer to me. My intuition was right 'cause he started touching me. I am shivering inside, the nightmares from before is still lingering. But I distracted myself by thinking "This is for the best, this is your chance to fight your fear." (Yeah right,'for the best' my *ss.) but I still can't do it. I told him I can't and we should stop but he never listened. He started kissing me and kept touching me. I stood up and yelled "I said stop!" He became angry and that's the first time I saw him angry. He slapped me and threw me back to bed and told me "I know you want it too you dirty little slut. It's all your fault!" I was shocked. He's never like this before. I knew this was gonna happen. Regret came all over me and I started blaming myself all over again. "Yes, this is all my fault, I should just let it be. I am really just a dirtbag..." That's what I thought at that time. I felt empty all over again.

And since then, I became his s*x slave, I was afraid he'll become violent on me again if I refused. He even go for threesome sometimes. Worst, he lets me watch him have sex with other girls and tell me to masturbate on the corner. It hurts me a lot.

To this point, I began questioning myself why I always end up with these kind of guys but I also end up answering myself with "because you're a slut, a whore, a dirtbag, who wants to be with a girl who's already touched by many guys?"

I tried to commit su*c*de by cutting my wrists just to end my suffering but I ended up still living. I failed so many times that even in dying, I still failed.

I've been his s*x slave for how many years, I can't even remember. It all ended up when I finally stood up for myself and cut all communications with him. It's also an advantage when I moved out because he doesn't know where I live anymore.

He kept messaging me on social media but I always block him. I also changed my phone number. He finally stopped when I was a college student and knew better. I told him I caught STDs and I have proofs of him fooling around with minors. He was scared of STDs and his reputation being ruined. What's a f*cked up guy who always fools around but scared of STDs? Thankfully, he's a stupid f*ck who believed my lie. It's been years and he doesn't bother me anymore.

I told my story not to gain sympathy but to raise awareness and help encourage others who's experiencing the same to keep on fighting.

After everything I've experienced, I learned how to fight for myself in the end. I learned how to respond to these kind of people. I also didn't end up hating all men because I learned that there's still good men out there through my father. Besides, some girls are also capable to r*pe/s*xually assault.

This is what r*pe, s*xual harrassment/assault does to a person. We get scared, we get nightmares, we get confused, we blame ourselves. But remember, we are still capable to fight. You f*ck up the minds of the children you harrased/assaulted. It f*cks up their perspectives as a child. It's hard to fix. As I grow up, it was hard for me to regain my confidence and self-love. It was tiring and I even tried to commit su*c*de.

To all the people who experienced the same ('cause not only girls experience r*pe, don' t you ever forget that!), whether it be you're a girl or a boy or part of the lgbt, keep fighting for your life! Never give up. It was hard but I know we can get through it. I, myself, still have nightmares sometimes but I am now able to respond to it without breaking down. And most importantly, NEVER BE AFRAID TO SEEK HELP. If you need help, ask for it. There are still people who are kind-hearted. Therapy helps too! So please, don't keep it all to yourself. If you can't take it anymore, ask for help.

You can also message me if you need to. Spread love and not hate! Have a safe day.

#triggering content #sensitive #true story #long reads

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