yestermen
Yestermen
some stories about men in their early adulthood and a woman who has seen them
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(all men on this blog have been renamed to protect their identities)
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How should you carry out a conversation
So, this story needs some context.
Back in April, my friend and I would constantly go to this party and she would make out with this douche bag. He has an okay personality but is known for treating women like shit. As she is saving herself for marriage, there obviously posses and issue with him only wanting to get in girls pants.
Anyway, so long story short I end up talking to him a little and he ends up coming to my room to hang out one day after the party. (I know, terrible set up and I knew it at the time too) We end up talking and he tries to kiss me, I say no, he continues and the night did not end well for me. I’m not scarred from it and nor do I see it as r@pe as much as I see it as sexual assault but either way, what happened that night was not the most consensual and he knows it.
I moved on from this point and as he continued to message me to try and get together again over the summer, I stayed unresponsive and kept him out of my life.
Now, come September, ive mostly gotten over anything that happened as I know hes an asshole and I steer clear of him when I get a message saying that he wants to talk in person. I’m immediately terrified and ask him a ton of questions before he finally says never mind and says how sorry he is for last semester and that he never meant anything by it, which as a whole is polite but either way he shouldn't have done what he did.
Now, months later im sitting at the party again with my friend, he comes over, sits across from me and starts talking to me and another guy ive been talking to sits next to me.
Now since no one knows about what happened in April, no one knows how trapped I felt in that moment. So here’s what the post is all about.
How do you talk to someone you have an abusive history with?
Well, easy- you don’t
Sure, it sounds easy but until you are put face to face with that person again it never crosses your mind what you are going to say. He continued to make conversation, like he used to, definitely trying to get with me again, I stayed friendly and got quiet when I no longer wanted to talk.
When finally I was free I got as far away from him as I could and avoided any other man for the rest of the night- then walking to my friends house with a knife in hand.
In all honesty, im not sure why im making this post but I feel that its important.
You should never have to feel trapped with someone who hurt you.
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New Year, Same Guys
I want to start this post off by saying, yes I know its been a while, but you get busy and you think luck is turning around and that maybe you’ll have a different topic to write about, but then new developments occur and we are back to where we were. Confused, Sad and Single.
This story starts about a year ago when I met this guy who we will call William, or Will. Will and I quickly became friends as we were in a few of the same classes and shared some similar friends, I was always a little interested in him, and I assumed he was also interested in me (we matched on tinder but this could’ve been a friendly match). Nonetheless he got into a long term relationship last year with a girl who kind of looked like me and we stayed friends and got closer.
This school year I got back and swore off men for the most part, it was never official but I was just generally uninterested in everyone and that makes everyone interested in you. By October I had about 4 guys talking to me, two that I was actually somewhat intrigued with; one being Will and one being (for sake of the story) Daniel. I continued talking to both of them but more often than not it was Daniel as he simply responded faster at the same times I was free to talk.
Sure, I thought talking to multiple guys was messy but hey, isn't that what your twenties are for, being messy and dating around?
November comes around and Daniel comes to town and keeps insisting to meet up (I know him in person but he graduated and moved and so I was safe to just talk with no strings attached) I kept making excuses, some valid, such as my parents being in town, others were me saying I had a ton of work (when I was watching netflix and eating hummus) but either way, I never felt compelled to meet up with him which made me think- Did I actually like him or was I just talking to him for attention?
After a lot of contemplation I decided on the latter. Sure, I felt bad about leading him on and such when I truly had no interest, so I tried to distance myself, but then I came to the conclusion that I liked our conversations even as just friends (I never said I liked him nor did I ever say that we were just friends so woops). So being selfish, I kept talking to him, not as much as before, but just enough to get my satisfaction. After all, it is lovely to feel wanted.
A couple weeks later, Daniel is back in town again, and pulling the same shenanigans but I say that I am just feeling being alone, which was complete honesty. That is when my friend texts me saying they are with my other friend and they need “sad gal hours”, aka when people come over, we put on music, drink, cry, talk and dance. So being a good friend, I invite them over.
One of my friends stays for 15 minutes when I text Will inviting him over, after all he’s friends with everyone and can bring more wine. He says sure and that’s when Bad Idea from Waitress would start playing if it were a film.
The three of us (My friend, Will and I) sit in my living room filling up glass after glass of wine just laughing and talking for hours- especially about hookups and relationships. The whole time, we have broken the touch boundary and so we are leaning on each other laughing, touching legs, etc. and my friend is sitting there with pure chaos surrounding them until they finally leave to go meet another hookup- by this point it is around 3am on a Sunday night (monday morning?).
The rest is history from that night, just picture how any rom com scenario would happen. Some highlights were that he helped me clean up the wine, in the morning he made my bed while I was showering and then we scrolled through the instagram the-hidden-biscuit (follow it, its good).
After that I kind of ghosted Daniel, as I felt as if I had made a choice. He was nothing but nice to me, but I was a bitch and he didn't deserve that, I still kind of regret it but hey, what am I gonna do?
The next few weeks Will and I continued to hookup (one night in specific I got the worst hickeys of my life, Jesus, my neck was BLACK). So I was happy and saw it going somewhere and so, being a Libra, my mind took that as “YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH HIM AND GOING TO BE WITH HIM FOREVER!! YOU HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON, THIS IS GREAT!” maybe not to that extent but in theory, I had caught feelings. Which wouldn't be mad if he too wasn't moving away and also if winter break wasn't starting immediately following this. Now, by this point I know it had gotten out that we were doin this thing, because one of his gal friends (we’ll call her Janice) came up to me during a party to express how she thought it was cute (more on this later).
That was what I needed to like set that my feelings were there, he had told his friends about me, so I couldn’t be “just a girl hes hooking up with” anymore, right?
WRONG.
So for the next few weeks we kept in contact (me thinking this could lead to something good) and I continued texting Janice to like see if he actually likes me (this seems normal and healthy right?). Anyway, she finally tells me that she respects us both too much to get in the middle of it, which kind of put me off but it wasn’t really her business anyway, I just like talking to people.
So, time goes by and it feels like hes distancing himself, texts are getting less responsive, as are snapchats and everything in between.
So on the fateful night of New Years Eve, I have been depressed all day, I drink a little too much champagne and I start talking to one of my best friends Leah. I keep saying I should send a text admitting how I feel and blah blah blah, she roots me on and all of a sudden its 1am and I send the text, immediately freak out and go to bed.
In the morning, no response yet, then I get one in the afternoon. I had a bad feeling about it and so I decide not to read it (I still haven't opened it so don’t ask me what it said, I don’t know). Rightfully so, we don’t snap each other or text for a while after that (we still haven’t texted) and so I decide to send a mass snap and include him in it. I GET A RESPONSE! that’s a good thing right? it means he doesn’t think i’m weird right?
We continue to snap, not as much as before but I still refuse to look at the text so nothing else can progress.
I get back up to school and plan to see Janice, as we are now friends and I want to hang out with her, she comes over and we watch A Cinderella Story, the one with Hillary Duff, and do face masks. The movie ends and I suggest we go eat hummus (my favorite snack) and she agrees but says that we need to talk first.
I immediately know what about and my stomach becomes a knot and sinks at the same time. “So, over break Will and I started talking as more than friends... I just want to let you know, I know that you guys talked and I wanted to go to you and make sure you’re okay with it.” WELL NO OF COURSE I AM NOT OKAY WITH IT, NO WE DIDN'T TALK, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY THOUGH?
So I swallow my sadness and tell Janice that “of course im okay with it” and then she continues about how much she respects and loves me and how im a “goddess” and “so hot” and “perfect” and etc. As fake people do, especially when they hurt you.
So after that I got a snap from him that I have refused to open, and she stayed at my apartment for the rest of the day because she obviously didn't get the cue that you leave someone alone after saying something like that.
But just like that, again a man has been taken from my life. I knew that it probably wouldnt last, and I always felt threatened by her. But as a person I was raised to not feel threatened by other women and to not date your friends crushes, no matter how much you want to. But obviously she didn’t learn that.
Now i’m back to square one, learning to love myself and others again.
To do this, Ive surrounded myself constantly with people I love (mostly friends), Ive been doing a lot of face masks, ive been baking a lot of sweets, watching a lot of movies, and taking on way more work than one person has time to do. Keeping myself busy is the best way to grow, and self growth leads to self love.
But yeah, its going to be a while until I go back to men I think, I have to rebuild myself after being torn down, and im going to try this time, to separate toxic people. Maybe i’ll do some traveling too.
Here’s to 2019- the year im dating myself.
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A Simple Text Back is all One Needs
Recently, I’ve come in contact with a guy who seems to be just what a girl is looking for, except the fact that he is terrible at replying to texts. It doesn't matter what time of day, sometimes you can catch him at a good time and have an actual conversations, but other times it feels like hes ghosting you until four days later when he texts a friendly “Hey!”.
At what point is not responding past bad at texting and just plain rude?
I don’t believe that any of the “ghosting” is on purpose, or at least I hope its not. It just seems that a lot of guys I come across, at first, will find any reason to text you, until you start to show interest in their attention or conversation, let it be friendly or flirty, men run for the hills at the first sign of constant rebuddle.
I can put some integrity behind a guy who isn't always on his phone, and admire that he values human contact and in-person conversation. Especially since when we are together, he never touches his phone for more than a minute over the hours, which makes it harder to call him out on the silence bullshit. One minute you are planning a day together, and the next week is spent wondering what you did wrong-- not to mention the triple texting (if you think double texting is bad, you haven't met me)
I long for the times back in freshman year of high school when if a guy was interested in you, he would text you for hours then facetime or call you until it was time for bed. I cant even imagine being 15 in 2018, if men acted like this when I was still an awkward kid, I would never be able to be confident around men, let alone one i’m interested in.
My friends and I often talk about men these days and how they are all about hooking up and getting the attention, but the minute they get the sense that you are catching feelings, they run and blame it on you without even asking you. Even if a guy does ACTUALLY like you and want to be in a relationship, there are all of these texting rules and comments:
-”No emojis if you are over the age of 16″
-”Mind your grammar”
-”If a girl texts “Hey” more than twice a day, shes clingy”
-”Girls texting first is a turn on, unless you aren’t interested, then its annoying”
-”Wait a day (or more) to text, as not to seem eager”
-”Dont text a novel”
-”Dont call without texting first to ask”
-”Repeat texts are psycho”
I’m sure i’m missing some cause i’m no man, but some of these are just absurd, how are women supposed to do anything right?!
It is impossible to strive for anything more than a hookup in this society, all the good ones are gay, taken or uninterested, the minute you think you find one, all of your hopes go flying out the window the minute they stop responding.
So the real truth is, there is nothing good that can come from a man who stops responding, it usually means he has lost interest and when he does decide to text back, its just because hes thirsty or needs a fallback. So the next time a guy replies after a week of silence, dont respond.
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Dating over the Phone?
With the rise of social media; texting, snapping, and tweeting have quickly replaced calling people on the phone, let it be your mom, best friend or lover, a text conversation is all one deserves.
What ever happened to calling someone you like?
It wasn’t all too long ago that you could only use your phone at home, or a payphone, which then lead to the cellphone, used only to be able to call anyone, anywhere, or at least in the area. That same cellular device, that was used as a way to hear your friend from miles away has now been turned into a tiny computer with its own language of emoticons, acronyms and miscommunications.
Dating in the 21st Century is hard enough with all of the distractions, waiting by the phone for a call from your crush was torture enough. Now, screw waiting for a call, a text three days after a date is considered lucky.
Recently, I've been on a dating journey- not exactly trying to find “The One”, rather, just trying to seek out the one to call on the phone and to keep a conversation with.
With cellphones, it is so easy for a guy to become uninterested since its so easy to be interested in something, or someone new. No one is special unless they require full attention, and if they demand to be treated like a this attention they are reprimanded for being needy? Not only is calling off limits, but double texting seems to be a big no-no, i’m just trying to show I care to carry a conversation- apparently caring is a feeling, and modern relationships aren’t allowed to show feeling.
Not only is dating over text hard, its even harder with dating apps. Nothing like going on a date and liking that person a lot, only to peer over their shoulder to see them swiping for a new lover. Without all of the social media, at least you could hookup with someone without having to think who they were going to have sex with next. We just have to live with swiping right to a starbucks or a bar before inevitably ending up exchanging some bodily fluids, and going on our merry ways. Whatever happened to milkshake dates and late night drives? Why is dating now all about ending in an orgasm instead of a goodnight kiss? It all revolves around communication, and the lack of it.
Everyone wonders why they cant find a long term relationship, but if you dial a number, i’m sure you could find one a lot faster than waiting for a match. People watch old movies and swoon over the romance of a telephone call or a hand written letter, the minute a person shows up in person is drool-educing. But as soon as the credits roll, a person cant think to try the same and turn right to a late night “wyd” text from that guy with the weird tattoo of his favorite cartoon character.
Next time you see a person at a coffee shop that you find attractive, ask for their number-- instead of texting them, call them. If they don’t answer, leave a message. I’m sure it’ll get you a lot further than swiping strangers for hours. But hey- What do I know? I cant even call one guy to ask to get dinner on a friday?
So, Good Luck!
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The Man from a Story
The Summer after Graduation, I was excited to be on my way into college, unfortunately, still with no romance, also still hopelessly in love with Drake. On one of my many sad, hopeless nights I texted my friend Shannon. Shannon had been with me almost the entire time I was infatuated with Drake, supporting me with him, driving me past his house occasionally, and certainly calling him an asshole when I wanted him to be. The text I sent her was definitely a sad one about Drake and how we were meant to be and how I wont find anyone else. Well, lucky for me, Shannon is a good storyteller.
That night I asked her to tell me a story, one to get my mind off of Drake. The story consisted of me going to college, a tall, attractive man in my class, some cats, and us ending up together watching old Hollywood movies. The dream for me. Waving it away as a fantasy I forgot all about it and tried endlessly to get over Drake.
When I got to school it seemed like so much conversation was about boys, and I only had one in mind. By the first week in, almost everyone who mattered had heard about Drake and our meant to be love. Until about a month in when I joined a projection class, that maxed my credits and took up all of my time. In this class there was one boy, Josh, who was tall, not extremely attractive, dorky, and always wore hats.
During the last two weeks of the 2 day a week class, we started more hands on work, where of course I become more vocal. I cant help that I like to make boring things more fun! Anyway, of course he laughs at all of my jokes and we end up working perfectly together. When I was with Josh, Drake wasn't even a memory. Even though the class had ended, our work together was far from over. The class turned into a project that had us working together basically 24/7, and with him as a sophomore, he had a car, which always led to a ride home- which is always better than the bus. By this time, it was November and almost all of my time not in class was spent with Josh.
When the project was finished for him, he still came to help and id like to think it was for me. He was a knight in shining armor after the ghoul of my past, Drake. It seemed like he had it all; he was funny, cute enough, we led nice conversations, had the same music taste, he could drive, and best of all he never cared what I looked like. But the cherry on top was half way through presentations, he brought his mom, who he made sure I met, even though I looked like shit and cautioned not to. She was pretty, nice, polite and obviously cared a lot about her son, but I hit my first impression out of the park- or at least to right field.
We each went our separate ways for Thanksgiving but didn't stop talking. I couldn't tell my family that there was a guy, it was too new and there were no promises that he liked me, no kiss or labeled date to have proof. So I told Shannon, my one true force with my love life, who was so excited for me that she stalked his Facebook. Finally, something looking up.
When the Holiday ended, I went back to school, excited to continue my new project; getting Josh to commit.
Sure, in the past if wouldn't have been difficult, but we were such good friends at this point that he had confessed long ago that his last relationship had ruined him and that he was just looking for a “friend with benefits” sort of deal for now. Basically making him the worst for all girls. He knew I was a relationship girl, which was one of the only things we disagreed on. But by this time, I was already head over heals pinterest planning a life with him.
When I got back to school, I was determined, doing everything to win him over- but he started distancing himself, now that we weren't forced to see each other all of the time, it felt like he didn't want to see me at all. Had something happened? Had I done something wrong.
Every book and every website just proved to show that I had checked every box, so what was the issue? Did his dream of being a free stallion get crushed by my wifely qualities? Who knew? but I had to find out.
There were two weeks between getting back from Thanksgiving, and going away for the Holidays. Two weeks to win Josh back.
It felt like I had tried everything and I started to give up hope. So much hope that during a party I got so drunk that I saw him ignoring me and started hysterically crying, when asked what about, I simply said I didnt know, which I then started to believe after he left. The next thing I knew I was crying for two hours in the kitchen with my friends persuading me to go home.
The next day I decided to stop trying so hard and just be straight to the point with my issue. I messaged him asking if he was mad at me, he messaged back saying no and asking why. I explain his ignorance and lack of communication to which he responds that he thought I was mad at him.
After a long text conversation we decided to meet up and hang out. But since we both had a ton of work we had to get done, we decided it was a work hang out and we could only talk if we had both finished our work.
He picked me up in my slippers and skinny jeans and we did our work, and talked, and cuddled, like we always did. Later that night he drove me home and I was smitten again.
We continued hanging out and the next weekend we planned a sleepover, where we would get drunk and eat pizza and listen to Marina and the Diamonds. Well, one joint and two slices of pizza later we were watching a movie and I was falling asleep.
The next thing I remember we are lying next to each other under icy blue fairy lights looking into each others eyes, breathing into one of another’s mouths, and he kissed me, for the first time. Which would lead to more, longer kisses, and eventually falling asleep next to each other (and no we didn't have sex). The next morning I woke up smiling, next to a guy I really liked, and for the first time in a while, felt actually liked back.
After going home, showering, hanging out with friends and going back to their dorm, we were all getting ready for a Christmas party when I get an offer for a ride to the party. After getting to the party, Josh and I went our separate ways, as to not seem like a couple, but like a true gentleman, came to me before he left to offer me a ride home, and thankful, I took it, but unfortunately, so did my friend. Who for the whole ride couldn't stop complaining about his car, and obviously putting a damper on the set mood.
I’m not sure of the exact timeline of the next week but I do remember going to his apartment on a Sunday, getting violently dizzy and unable to stand and staying the night before my final in the morning (Now that night, we did have sex, but it was not spectacular as I was still pretty sick).
The next morning was weird as I felt a ton better and my final had been pushed back to noon, which meant more time with Josh. He made sure I felt better before bringing me home where I promptly showered to get the giant knot out of my hair. After telling my roommate where I had been I got ready for my final and with wet hair went to wait for the bus, which passed me. Instead of ordering an uber in the snow, I thought my chances were better to run.
Six minutes late to my final, I had Icicle hair and felt judgement on the eyes of my peers who probably all knew where I was last night because of Snapchat maps. But I didn't care and ended up doing pretty well on my presentation.
The next few days were weird before leaving to go home for a month, I didn't see Josh but maybe one time before my mom picked me up.
I didn't know what Josh and I were yet, so I thought it better to say that we were nothing- no one in my family may have known about him, but all of my friends did, and so did their friends.
As the month and a little bit went by, we started out calling each other almost every day, but as the holidays got closer, we drifted apart. hardly even finding time to send a text, even though I persisted.
When I got back to school, Josh was in a foul mood. He refused to visit me, nor did he want me to visit him. He stayed inside all day playing video games and decided it best to leave me high and dry.
Finally after a couple of angry texts we had a text argument, which I thought ended in us deciding to communicate more, especially on his side, but I guess he saw that as too much effort for a friends with benefits.
So after at least ten tries, I finally gave up on Josh, ignoring him during our next project, except when I had to be professional. He didn't speak to me at all until presentations started and he had a glass of champagne in him. When we did start talking, it felt like old times. But I knew it wouldn't last, so I waited for the bus as the cold rain started to pour. That’s when he offered me a ride, I tried to decline, but he refused, and finally I got in his old car for one last time. We talked for an hour and a half in the parking lot of my dorm and agreed to hang out again. We never did.
It wasn't until I was moving out that I found out from one of his friends that he had talked about me, quite a lot actually, but nothing about our romantic life, just that I “complained a lot” and “couldn't stop talking about my problems” as if my mom hadn't gotten sick just a new months prior. That is when I decided not to be civil anymore, I told them the entire story and opened their eyes to his asshole side. They were shocked and agreed he owed me an apology and an explanation on why we stopped talking. But I don’t care if I get one, I just care that he stops talking about me.
After my first semester in college, I believed Shannon was a psychic, and that she saw that my prince was coming. But after the first week of my Second semester, my eyes were opened to the true ghoul in my story.
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First comes Love
We all have crushes growing up, little Jack in kindergarten, Tony in fourth grade, Matthew in 8th-- but all of them felt useless, all of my “little crushes” as I call them were all based on theories I made up in my head that they must like me. Well, growing up unpopular I never had great social skills, not the worst though, I was always cordial and not the lowest of the low on the social food chain, but I still could never make a move with a guy. It wasn’t until 9th grade that I ever purposely flirted with a boy and actually maybe established something- it was never written down or had a label but he was creepy and thank god he moved away.
But no, none of these past boys were my first real crush, my first REAL crush wasn’t until the end of 11th grade, I was sixteen, on a school trip to Las Vegas and had established a close friendship with a few classmates, push comes to shove and all of us were inseparable by the end of the week. When we got back to school we would wave in the hallway because our circles were different, but as soon as the last bell rung we were all on our way to coffee, ice cream or somewhere to hang out, even if it was just someones car to listen to some Michael Jackson. Now Drake (his name for the blog’s sake), who I bonded with on the trip, was just like all the past guys to me, I liked him but shrugged it off acting like I only liked him cause he liked me-- which I knew was a lie anyway and I would be over him in a week. Until my friend pulled me aside and told me that Drake like liked me. The boggled my mind, never in my life had anyone actually liked me, or admitted it to someone who could tell me, and apparently it wasn't a trick or a one time mention, she asked if I liked him too and I said I didn't know, I was flustered and awkward and trying to play it cool, she shrugged and we continued talking about it. Almost as soon as I got into my house I texted her and told her how I actually felt, and that was the start of a downward spiral. She became the messenger, Drake and I became closer and started to talk every day until early hours of the morning.
Then as quickly as the friendship between everyone has started,it had ended. I still feel bad about it but there was some petty drama that was worth speaking up about, so many people were jealous of our group that they spread lies to make us at each others throats, and it worked- for everyone except for me and Drake that is. He was the first and ONLY one to message me out of the seven members of the group which brought us closer, he justified my feelings and cleaned my wounds, everything was looking to a budding summer romance between us.
Until we both got busy with our lives. Apparently staying in touch is harder than the movies make it out to be. None the less we continued texting, just not as frequently until hardly at all- this was at the start of my senior year, the only bad thing was, by this time I had fallen head over heels for this guy I thought I knew. Flash forward a couple months and he has ghosted me, all of my friend groups had left me and I had nowhere to turn, I texted him- on a couple of different occasions- Either trying to hang out, or long messages about how much our friendship meant to me, hoping for a response, NEWSFLASH that’s creepy! Creepy or not, I still got nothing, not even a peep. A couple of months later came another school trip, but this time to London and Paris, some of the most romantic cities in the world, maybe they can help rekindle out friendship! (spoiler: it doesn’t) While in Europe we spoke a few times, eventually realizing we were applying/choosing from the same schools for the same tiny major- making things more awkward than they were before, we always picked each others cards (just like old times) during Cards Against Humanity, laughed at the same things, said the same words at the same time, all while trying to avoid each other.
By this time my best friend had known and thought the entire situation was hilarious, yet she encouraged me- unlike most other people who had been in my life. What’s even funnier is on all social media he was the first to pop up, I would run into him in the weirdest places and worst of all anything that ever connected us in the first place became more relevant than ever- all of a sudden Katy Perry or Michael Jackson was played in every store I set foot in and What Happens in Vegas was shown on so many stations that I started to memorize the lines. But it wasn't until Prom Night until my best friend saw it for her own eyes.
The night of prom was one for the books, going lone wolf was a bold move to show all my past friends that I need no one to prove myself worthy (it worked btw) and to make things better, it was spoken word that I was the best looking (what can I say, I clean up nice occasionally) and as a cherry on top, Drake wouldn't stop looking at me (and neither could his mom at the red carpet)-- I danced all night and had a ball. Once I got off the bus my best friend picked me up and we went to the diner- no one was there, just us with our chicken fingers and Grease playing on the Jukebox. Then, the unthinkable happens. Drake walks in with his date, we make eye contact, wave, and his now pissed off date is giving him an evil eye. I turn back to my best friend, who is basically rolling on the ground having just witnessed one of the many occasions that I had been talking about. The time at the diner is passed with occasional glances and laughs. Until my entire old friend group walks in- red alert- while I was not intimidated by them, it was wildly awkward and left my best friend in tears of laughter because of how cinematic it all was. And when one thinks nothing can get worse, both Drake and I stand up at the exact same time and exclaim “Does anyone want my Chicken Fingers” to which most of the giant table replies, I look at my best friend, put my poultry on the center table and scurry out after paying the bill.
We hop in the car to discuss what just happened and stay up all night talking about past encounters.
It may sound weird but im glad my first crush was such a wild one, I worked for him once, he worked for me once, we went from close friends to strangers in a matter of months, and to top it all off, while at college, he texted me first to see how I was. At the end of the day, I see that as a victory on my end considering I can still say hello to him when I walk in a room and he can hardly make eye contact long enough to say “I’m not interested”.
The one thing I still cant understand is why men lack the intelligence to perform basic conversation? Why does everything have to be left unsaid, why cant you just tell me how you feel? My guess? fragile masculinity or poor understanding of social skills, when its getting in a girls pants, they can say anything but when it comes to true feelings, there is not a word to be said.
And with that I ask all men... who hurt you?
To wrap up the story, no, nothing ever happened between Drake and I- not for now at least, yes I still think about him, but everyone gets to think about their first love every once and a while.
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