xxuannzz
Mad Hatterš©
Singapore. 18. ENFP-T. Hufflepuff. Disney. Dog lover. Lazy Nerd. Books. Netflix. Psychology. Be kind.
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Been facing a burnout due to extracurricular activities, commitments and school work, Iām trying my best to restart my engine and get back on track again šāØ
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Cruel - An Open Letter from Glowie
People are Cruel
Iāve been Cruel to people
people have been Cruel to me
but mostly Iāve been Cruel to myself.
Iām so hard on myself
Iām a perfectionist.
If I donāt do things
perfectly
instantly
I start beating myself up
mentally.
I donāt know how to receive a compliment, to be honest..compliments piss me off because I donāt think I deserve them. Thatās a lot of pressure I put on myself.
Itās a difficult situation.
Itās Cruel.
Even now as Iām writing this Iām thinking āthis is all crap and Iām never gonna be a good writerā. But Iām used to that, Iām used to feeling unsatisfied with everything I do. As sad as that sounds, having this judging version of me always by my side, it makes me do the best I can in everything I do and Iām always trying to find ways to do things even better.
Iām not struggling,
Iām just constantly
competing with
myself and
it excites me,
it keeps me
moving forward.
Cruelty is all around everywhere.
Thereās no way of escaping it.
Iām always gonna
see it
hear it
feel it.
What I decide to do with it changes everything.
Itās always gonna affect me in some way. But I can eitherĀ
let it break me down or
I can let it
make me
stronger.
The cruelty I got from other people, it changed me, I took it so personally.
When I was 5 years old in kindergarten, all the girls were scared of the boys, they would run after us.
So every time the boys came, the girls screamed.Ā
I remember I was terrified of the boys, they would pull my hair and push me over. Nobody did anything about it. What an odd game to play at 5 years old.
When I was 10 years old kids made fun of me. They called me names. I was different, had big curly hair, body so skinny I was called āskeletonā. I didnāt feel like I was allowed to be myself.
I had to fit in. Be like everybody else.
When I was 12 years old the girls ignored me. I wasnāt there, I didnāt exist, I wasnāt welcome, I wasnāt good enough. I thought I was a total loser. Nobody wanted to talk to me or spend time with me.
I thought, nobody wanted me
there or
anywhere.
When I was 16 years old I felt pressure to start dating. I met a guy online he seemed nice I wasnāt ready for a relationship I wasnāt ready for anything I just wanted something innocent but that didnāt exist in his mind.
Cuz on the second dateĀ
he raped me.
For a few years I felt broken, I was shy, insecure, scared, depressed, unsure.
Because I didnāt understand humans
behavior
feelings
thoughts.
All of a sudden the world seemed like such a complicated place.
All this cruelty, I felt surprised. Being a young girl
living in a country that was usually
so safe
so quiet.
I started to build up these walls around me, to protect me from everyone and everything.
The walls were
sadness
cold attitude
straight face
no smile
eye contact that
made you feel
unwelcome.
I didnāt trust anyone, if someone got too close I pushed them away, I pushed them so far away from me.
I thought it would protect me but it didnāt, it only hurt the people around me.
But then someone reminded me of that person I was trying to protect with these walls I had built. The person I used to be, the happy little girl. I had been so focused on protecting her.
I forgot to let her
breathe
see
hear
sing
dance
laugh
smile
shine.
She had been back there this whole time
hiding
suffocating.
Now Iām slowly letting her out. Iām letting her
shine through
my eyes
my voice
my attitude
my fingers.
For the last couple of months for the first time ever, I feel strong, I feel like Iām enough. I donāt have to be anything but myself. Iāve found balance, I feel comfortable, Iām not scared anymore.
Iām the happiest
Iāve ever been.
But people are Cruel
Iāve been Cruel to people
people have been Cruel to me
and mostly Iāve been Cruel to myself.
Thereās no way of escaping it but we can decide to not let it break us down. We can use it as a tool to make us stronger. But itās not gonna be easy, itās never easy. From time to time weāll have to let our emotions out.
Some might think itās not
necessary
but to me it is
necessary.
I think itās important to
let ourselves be
vulnerable
angry
hurt
confused.
Cuz these are the emotions we usually donāt let out,
the ones we keep locked away
the ones that weāre ashamed of
the ones that make us look crazy
but are the ones that need freedom.
Thatās the purpose of my song āCruelā
itās your chance to let go.
Cuz afterwards youāll feel so much better,
you can even listen to my other song āBodyā
dance a little bit
have some cake
and youāll be fine
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3/100 So today is the 3rd day of school since vacation ended, Iām currently on the bus, and I just remembered to update, oops. I previously mentioned that I wanted to try the 100 days of productivity challenge again the moment school started, so yea Iām still going with that. The past 2 days of school have been pretty productive for me, Iāve been taking down notes in class, contributing for my group project, reading Pride & Prejudice (loving it!!), and working out both at home and the gym. Iāve also been handling a lot of my CCA admin stuff, emailing Lecturers and more. After school today, iām planning to consolidate the notes Iāve been taking in the past 3 days into my notebook!!
#100 days of productivity#studying#studyblr#study#homework#notes#studyspo#revision#journal#bujo#stress#productive#school#excited#motivated#motivation#library
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27/03/2019 - A quiet library session after the longest day yesterday, drinking herbal iced tea and listening to chill music on my study playlistĀ
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10.18.17 // a few of my recent spreads!! anxiety is tough and imā¦ trying ;-;
+ kudos to you if you can spot any references in my spreads (if u actually do pls msg me i need friends rip im alone ok)Ā
ig: bionctes
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10.21.17 // did i just doodle a newman projection into my bujo?? yes.Ā do i know why?? nope.Ā
vocal team pic fromĀ @bokdeongeoriĀ
coffee cup pic from @itrose
ig: kaiistudies
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160802 // Had a 5 hour break today, so I decided to rewrite my law notes
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Who loves post its?! š
I really like this Sticky notes set from NBS šāØĀ
Theyāre easy to use in a ring binder. You could easily get one for notes, reminders, more notes, and as flags for pages (and insert some lil notes heh)! Sticky notes are one of my favorite stationeries. ā”
IG:Ā @nicsstudiess
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Prepping myself for the next semšŖāØPlanning to try the 100 days of productivity challenge again, I really hope my motivation will last throughout the Sem and that Iāll have the discipline to get through the sem without completely burning outš©ššÆ
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That feel when you procrastinate for so long and then youāre suddenly hit by motivation. I tend to hyper focus so hard on my work, I forget to eat, or drink water, or sleep, or stretch, or like, do any basic care or maintenance required for life.Ā
Somebody send help I need water
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I hate toxic positivity. Being happy all the time or constantly seeing just the positives isnāt healthy. Preventing yourself to feel negativity isnāt healthy.
Nothing gets under my skin more than when people make it like itās so easy to be positive and happy. Being happy, being positive, being optimistic takes work ā hard work. You literally have to train your brain to see the positives of your situation(s). Which takes time and great effort. Itās not so easy to just snap out of a bad mood.
Stop telling me that I have it better than other people, so I shouldnāt feel down. Stop telling me, āYou should just be happy.ā as if just saying that automatically cures my sadness/negative emotions.
I am allowed to be sad. I am allowed to be angry. I allowed to cry. I am allowed time and space to figure out my emotions, life, and self. I will not put on a facade to make others feel comfortable, because that only hurts me. I want to be understood. I want to be heard.
Understand how I am feeling and why I am feeling this way. Hear what I am saying, feel what I am saying.
I want more people to understand that addressing someone elseās pain with empathy, warmth, and kindness is the ācureā ā not being unconditionally positive.
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None of the comments on the right work anyway. EVER.
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Iāve seen a lot of curious people wanting to dive into classical music but donāt know where to start, so I have written out a list of pieces to listen to depending on mood. Iāve only put out a few, but please add more if you want to. hope this helps yāall out. :)
stereotypical delightful classical music:
battalia a 10 in d major (biber)
brandenburg concerto no. 5
brandenburg concerto no. 3
symphony no. 45 - āfarewellā (haydn)
if you need to chill:
rondo alla turca
fur elise
anitraās dance
in the steppes of central asia (borodin) (added by viola-ology)
if you need to sleep:
moonlight sonata
swan lake
corral nocturne
sleep (eric whitacre) (added by thelonecomposer)
if you need to wake up:
morning mood
summer (from the four seasons)
buckaroo holiday (if youāve played this in orch you might end up screaming instead of waking up joyfully)
if you are feeling very proud:
pomp and circumstance
symphony no. 9 (beethoven; this is where ode to joy came from)
1812 overture
symphony no. 5, finale (tchaikovsky) (added by viola-ology)
american (dvoÅĆ”k)
if you feel really excited:
hoedown (copland)
bacchanale
spring (from the four seasons) (be careful, if you listen to this too much youāll start hating it)
la gazza ladra
death and the maiden (schubert)
if you are angry and you want to take a baseball bat and start hitting a bush:
dance of the knights (from the romeo and juliet suite by prokofiev)
winter, mvt. 1 (from the four seasons)
symphony no. 10 mvt. 2 (shostakovich)
symphony no. 5 (beethoven)
totentanz (liszt)
quartet no. 8, mvt. 2 (shostakovich) (added by viola-ology)
young personās guide to the orchestra, fugueĀ (britten) (added by iwillsavemyworld)
symphony no. 5 mvt. 4 (shostakovich) (added by eternal-cadenza)
marche slave (tchaikovsky) (added by eternal-cadenza)
if you want to cry for a really long time:
fantasia based on russian themes (rimsky-korsakov)
adagio for stringsĀ (barber)
violin concerto in e minor (mendelssohn)
aaseās death
andante festivo
vocalise (rachmaninoff) (added by tropicalmunchakoopas)
if you want to feel like youāre on an adventure:
an american in paris (gershwin)
if you want chills:
danse macabre
russian easter overture
egmont overture (added by shayshay526)
if you want to study:
eine kleine nachtmusik
bolero (ravel)
serenade for strings (elgar)
scheherazade (rimsky-korsakov)Ā (added by viola-ology)
pines of rome, mvt. 4 (resphigi) (added by viola-ology)
if you really want to dance:
capriccio espagnolĀ (rimsky-korsakov)
blue danube
le cid (massenet)Ā (added by viola-ology)
radetzky march
if you want to start bouncing in your chair:
hopak (mussorgsky)
les toreadors (from carmen suite no.1)
if youāre about to pass out and you need energy:
hungarian dance no. 1
hungarian dance no. 5
if you want to hear suspense within music:
firebird
in the hall of the mountain king
ride of the valkyries
night on bald mountain (mussorgsky)Ā (added by viola-ology)
if you want a jazzy/classical feel:
rhapsody in blue
jazz suite no. 2 (shostakovich) (added by eternal-cadenza)
if you want to feel emotional with no explanation:
introduction and rondo capriccioso
unfinished symphony (schubert)
symphony no. 7, allegretto (beethoven)Ā (added by viola-ology)
canon in d (pachelbel)
if you want to sit back and have a nice cup of tea:
st. paulās suite
concerto for two violins (vivaldi)
lāarlĆ©sienne suite
concierto de aranjuez (added by tropicalmunchakoopas)
pieces that donāt really have a valid explanation:
symphony no. 40 (mozart)
cello suite no. 1 (bach)
polovtsian dances
enigma variations (elgar)Ā (added by viola-ology)
perpetuum mobile
moto perpetuo (paganini)
pieces that just sound really cool:
scherzo tarantelle
dance of the goblins
caprice no. 24 (paganini)
new world symphony, allegro con fuoco (dvorak) (added byĀ viola-ologyā)
le tombeau de couperin (added by tropicalmunchakoopas)
carnival of the animals (added by shadowraven45662)
if you feel like listening to concertos all day (I do not recommend doing that):
concerto for two violins (bach)
concerto for two violins (vivaldi)
violin concerto in a minor (vivaldi)
violin concertoĀ (tchaikovsky) (added by iwillsavemyworld)
violin concerto in d minor (sibelius) (added by eternal-cadenza)
cello concerto in c (haydn)
piano concerto, mvt. 1 (pierne) (added by iwillsavemyworld)
harp concerto in E-flat major, mvt. 1 (added by iwillsavemyworld)
and if you really just hate classical music in general:
4ā²33ā³ (cage)
a lot of these pieces apply in multiple categories, but I sorted them by which I think they match the most. have fun exploring classical music!
also, thank you to viola-ology, iwillsavemyworld, shayshay526, eternal-cadenza, tropicalmunchakoopas, shadowraven45662, and thelonecomposer for adding on! if you would like to add on your own suggestions, please reblog and add on or message me so I can give you credit for the suggestion!
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I donāt know about you guys but I am psyched to get an education, woo. This year is a hella important year for me because if I donāt finish this school year with five As then I am a dead man walking, you get me? So this started off as a collection to help me get those fabulous As but I thought, what the hell? Iāll share this perfection with everyone else because sharing is caring. Anyways, down to the nitty gritty
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SCHOOL CHEAT SHEET 2
back to school masterlist
tips for exams
ultimate back to school tips
tips for the new school year
4 legal ways to get free textbooks
essential productivity apps
actual first time college adviceĀ | tips for lecturesĀ | how to take lecture notes
study breaksĀ | studying hacks
bet your teachers never taught you this
how to take organised notes
text book tips
tips to make school life easier
how to do cover letters
studying a foreign language tips
dyslexia friendly fonts
writing about royal characters
language learning sites
tips for effective studying
travel cheap
23 editing tips
useful apps for students
words to describe someoneās voice
Joss Whedonās writing tips |Ā writing references
50 things to ask your character before you start writing
stop using google.com to search information
life hacks for school
how to write an essay
8 basics of creative writingĀ | fantasy guideĀ | songs for creating stuff
for crime writers
dear writers
a high school teacherās list of 100 wisest words
confused what to underline, italicize and when to use quotation marks?
feeling anxious for school?
make pretty bannersĀ | another one | and another oneĀ | one moreĀ | okay last one i promise
how to study like a harvard student
how to do pretty letteringĀ | how to make your notes prettyĀ | handwriting and note takingĀ | colour code notesĀ | how to maintain good notesĀ | take digital notes
using one note to take notes | another one
how to get shit done
things i wish people had told me when i was a freshman
handwriting reference
in class notes reference
20 things I found out about studying last yearĀ | things to do remember when studying
revising for maths
abbreviations for note takingĀ | 2
12 things i learnt during 12 years of school
transition words
how to study from textbooks
how to make history timelines
what to do if you fail a class
backpack essentials
studying 101: how to stay focused, motivated, and on track.
secret study tipsĀ | top tips for studying in college
ultimate studyblr guide
hey, schoolās hard
other cheat sheets
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