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whyaremynicknamesalreadyused · 6 years

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Warning: this post started off as something different, and ended up as a long analysis, which contains mentions of abuse.

I spend a lot of time thinking about how quiet it is in Ben Solo’s head now that Snoke is dead. I imagine it was like having an unbearable migraine every day for decades to being suddenly pain free. Going from having such pervasive evil, determined to destroy you from the inside out, to a quiet must be unsettling for Ben. The last time I his thoughts were his own, he was a child. Now there is no one to manipulate his thoughts.

I just hope he’s able to cope with the terrors he was forced to inflict at the hands of Snoke. I also hope he’s able to realize that the things he was forced to do by the manipulative and abusive child predator are not his fault, even though they were done by his hands. I know he isn’t the type to seek out someone to talk to, I wasn’t, but if it’s true that BB droids are supposed to help with PTSD, then I hope he gets one that can help him (and not the evil one that turned in BB8).

Sometimes the hardest thing for abuse survivors is the blame we put on ourselves for the things that happened to us. To others, it doesn’t seem rational to blame ourselves and they assure us it’s not our fault. Yes, the people killed by Ben Solo at Snoke’s requests were victims, but Ben Solo is a victim as well and that is something that you cannot deny. Victim blaming him for being forced to carry out orders under the threat of being killed himself is problematic. Accusing Ben of gaslighting Rey is gaslighting itself (and fuck you for doing that or trying to cast doubt on the shit he went through by believing your ‘hero’ that tried to kill a child).

This movie is bringing to the forefront so many problems that arise when abuse victims speak our or stand up to their abusers. We can see it right now in Hollywood when women speak out against the men that have assaulted them. There is so much backlash against the victims: ‘she just wants to be famous’ or ‘she’s making it up for attention’ or ‘if it really happened, why didn’t she speak up back when it happened’. As a society, rather than realizing that people we like have fucked up and have done terrible things, we find a way to blame the person who is harmed. ‘If she didn’t wear a short skirt she wouldn’t have been raped’.

Ben Solo was violated by a predator who rather than penetrating his body, penetrated his mind and tried to destroy him. Like many victims, he created for himself an identity to try disassociate, therefore protecting himself. Ben Solo was attacked by his uncle and mentor who tried to kill him because he saw the things that his abuser did to him. Rather than talk to Ben or try to help him, he tried to kill him. He didn’t even ASK him about what he saw, he just assumed the dark thoughts belonged to Ben.

So Ben manages to fight off his uncle and escape, I would hazard a guess that when he was trying to escape, some of the other students tried to stop him thinking he was just full on dark side and killed Luke. A few of the students (The Knights?) helped Ben escape. Since he didn’t know who else to turn to, Ben turned to the voice he had been hearing in his head- his abuser.

See, the thing you have to realize about abusers is some of them like to play the long game. They’ll start off slowly, chipping away at you because they find pleasure in torturing and destroying. Snoke has spent years filling Ben’s head with propaganda: the Jedi are evil, the dark side is strong, and I wouldn’t be surprised ‘Luke Skywalker hates you, he thinks your weak, he’s going to kill you because you’re powerful’. When Luke turns on Ben, it reinforces what Snoke says and pushes Ben to him, which is exactly what Snoke wanted, even if it took awhile.

Ben will see him as a protector, this hero who watched over him and saved him. To him, Snoke is the one who wanted the best for him and always had praise. Snoke has him in a snare and Ben doesn’t even realize it. This powerful being wants to make Ben his APPRENTICE, he believes in Ben SO MUCH. He probably doesn’t even realize at first how wrong he is because Snoke has him wrapped around his finger. Ben is just eager to please this person who sees potential and strength, things he hasn’t heard from Luke who told him his emotions made him weak.

It will go slowly, Snoke builds him up, and Ben eagerly laps up the praise. And then he’ll make a mistake. Snoke probably intentionally sets up this mistake to take Ben down a peg and assert his dominance. Ben is so eager to please Snoke that he’ll do whatever he is told. He doesn’t want to disappoint his ‘new master’ because he’s the only one that has shown him attention. And on it goes. Each time Snoke asks something of him, it gets darker and darker. Ben gets weaker and the personality he created to protect himself, Kylo Ren, gets stronger. He just keeps burying his conscious about the horrors he’s being told to commit because he’s so desperate for someone to show him affection and praise.

And then Snoke crosses a line: he tells Ben to kill his father. The long buried spark of Ben Solo starts to fight back against Kylo Ren. The spark only gains strength as Ben meets Rey. This girl who is able to see through his defenses as no one else had, not even his uncle and mentor, who can identify his greatest fear and stands up to him unafraid. The only person who was unafraid of him before her was Snoke. And something about this girl awakens something inside him. He’s not sure what it is at first. Then he confronts his father and kills him, hoping to squash that last sliver of light that’s holding back his power. But the reverse happens. You can see it as Han’s hand slides down Ben’s face, as if Han is transferring his love into Ben with a touch.

You can see the exact moments when Ben realizes what it is he felt towards Rey- attraction and possibly a touch of protectiveness and affection- the first time is when he tries to stop her from shooting him. The camera unfocuses on him quickly to focus on Finn, but you can see the look of shock and slight panic on his face as she crumpled to the ground. Even with the camera unfocused, you can see that look. But you see it most when Rey takes the saber and ignites it, staring him down. She’s literally igniting his feelings for her.

Thus is the beginning of his fall from grace where his ‘master’ is concerned. This girl is his weakness, but she’s also his strength. He relates to her in a way he’s never related to anyone before. They share loneliness, they have both been victims of abuse (although the extent of Rey’s abuse on Jakku isn’t fully known yet), and there is this magnetic pull that draws them together, bringing out the best and worst in each other.

When Ben meets with Snoke the next time, he is physically and emotionally weakened, but he’s also started down the path to breaking Snoke’s hold over him. Only Ben doesn’t realize it. Snoke does however, so he decides to stick to Abuser 101: humiliate and embarrass until you manipulate them into subservience. It works and Ben leaves him, enraged at his perceived failures and shortcomings, and decides to unleash his rage on the Resistance. Which is exactly what Snoke wanted. He knows Ben will be eager to prove himself.

So Ben launches an attack on his mothers ship, but when it comes time to actually firing on her bridge, he can’t take the shot. Two of the other fighters didn’t hesitate and you can see the devestation on his face when he realizes his mother is going to die. You can see Ben Solo fighting his way out, only to be forced behind the mask of Kylo when Hux orders him to return. But he doesn’t force Ben deep enough and he shoots down the two fighters that fired the shot on the bridge.

Next time we see him, he’s getting his stitches removed, deep in thought after seeing someone kill his mother (I’m not sure if he realizes she’s alive at this point). This isn’t Kylo, his alternative persona, it is Ben and he’s thinking about the night he got the stitches and who caused them. Then the force connects him to her, to Rey, the scavenger who bested him but he can’t stop thinking about. He doesn’t even realize it, but the spark of light is becoming a flame that burns brighter each time he is with her. By the time Snoke orders Ben to kill Rey in the Throne Room, the light inside him has broken the last of the chains that tied him to Snoke. Ben could take this abuse, he could handle whatever Snoke made him do, but to see the person he loved being tossed around like a rag doll, to see her mind being penetrated like his was. He snaps. Watching Snoke force himself upon Rey, raping her mind as she screamed for help, Ben made the decision he was going to kill Snoke or at least try to. If he didn’t succeed, Rey would be killed and he didn’t want to live in a universe where she was dead.

When the lightsaber pierces Snoke and his life force dies, Rey drops to her knees with a gasp, but Ben also gasps. Because for the first time, there is no screaming inside his head. Just the plan of what he needed to do to get them out of the room alive. He doesn’t even have time to process everything until the last Guard is dead. Then he walks to the throne and looks at his abuser. The person who had destroyed his spirit, poisoned his mind, and shattered his soul. Then he hears Rey speak his name and his attention goes to the person he’s foresaken everything for. Not even his parents were able to get him to do that. It was her.

He loved her and he wanted to run away with her. He didn’t want to fight anymore. He wanted to let this past, this pain inside him go. His parents are dead, there’s no point in saving the Resistance because those people meant nothing to him now that his parents are gone. (Again, I don’t think he knew Leia was alive yet). So he holds out his hand to Rey, offering her his heart. But there’s still a sliver of Kylo, he doesn’t want to save anyone other then himself and the woman he loved. Even in his unselfish moment, he’s being selfish. He only cared about them. Meanwhile Rey needs to save her friends. She is so desperate for family and belonging that she’s afraid to give into Ben.

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, Ben is clad in armor. His mask, his gloves, his very clothes, are his armor against the world. When he wears them, he’s playing the part of Kylo Ren to protect the fragile Ben Solo. Rey realizes this as well, it’s obvious when her eyes linger on his gloved hand. She knows, even in their short time together, that he’s still closing a part of himself off from her. She cannot accept that. Which causes her to leave him.

This betrayal strikes him deeply. But this is a good thing for Ben. He needs to take time to discover who he is when there is no one controlling or manipulating him. When no one is vying to use his powers to suit their needs. He needs to heal and go through the emotions he’s been suppressing. He needs to MOURN. Not only his parents, but he needs to mourn for himself and the life he was robbed of because of his abuser.

I am certain EpIX will end with Rey and Ben together. But I am happy they ended EpXIII apart. Ben needs to heal without someone trying to mold him into yet another ideal that isn’t his own. He needs time to process everything that happened. I personally want to see him leaving the First Order early on in the movie. I feel like the middle would be a good time to start fattening up the love story with Rey and redemption of Ben Solo as he comes to terms with everything that happened. Honestly, I want him to see in person the effects that the First Order has on people. I want him to see the people who hurt because of Snoke and Hux so he can start getting in touch with the feelings he has buried.

I don’t think people who haven’t experienced child abuse understand how much it fucks you up. Ben is emotionally stunted. Most feelings are foreign to him unless it’s anger, rage, hatred, and other strong negative emotions. With Rey he was starting to learn love and compassion. But for around 15-20 years he has buried the feelings his master thought were weak. He will probably struggle with personal connection, which is something I still struggle with. So many people joke about how awkward his is, but when you consider he’s been groomed and conditioned by an alien since he was a child, it makes sense. Same thing with how he lashes out at his surroundings when he is upset. He doesn’t know how else to deal with his emotions. But that sliver of Ben Solo makes sure he doesn’t take it out on people.

As a comparison to another character in pop culture, Kylo Ren reminds me of River Song’s astronaut suit in Doctor Who. At first you cannot see who is behind the mask, all you know is this person ‘kills’ the Doctor. Then you find out there is a child inside the suit. A child that has been conditioned its entire life to kill the person they loved. Kylo Ren is the persona/astronaut suit that Ben Solo has lived most of his life inside to protect that scared child that just wants to be loved. But unlike River, people don’t think Ben can be redeemed or saved. To which I say, fuck that noise, he’s already been saved. Now he just has to deal with the aftermath of being saved- healing.

In conclusion, whether you like it or not, Ben Solo is a victim and people need to stop pretending he’s not. People need to realize he is a character that has been abused and manipulated and forced to commit horrors lest he be killed. To deny that is to cheapen the story of all abuse victims. Just because you don’t want to believe it happened, doesn’t negate the fact that it did happen.

Stop👏saying👏Ben👏Solo👏is👏gaslighting👏 because👏his👏abuse👏makes👏you👏uncomfortable

Stop👏trying👏to👏deny👏he👏was👏abused

That is all. Save Ben Solo 2017.

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