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So you're telling me, you're not obsessed with two gay ass motherfuckers, that permanently altered your brain and you do not think about them every living moment of your life, and you don't cry about them on daily basis? Ah. That's.......cool.
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why did this actually slap so hard.
Imagine hell has to defend itself against heaven again and this time the overlords are actually plotting together about it. So they're trying to come up with a battle plan and Velvette brings these figurines to put on the map. Most of them are just little faceless mannequins she uses for her outfit designs and she's written everyone's names on them. But one of them is a very realistic, very detailed Alastor figurine in a wedding dress.
And Carmilla is like "Okay so we need to figure out how we're going to forcibly close the portal to heaven— Alastor, you've been very quiet and thinking, do you have an idea?"
And Alastor just looks up at Velvette and gestures towards the figurine very calmly but with a twitching eye and goes "Why do you have this?"
HEL:DPGLPSHKPSGSDPOKO ANON I'M CRYING. can we bring this back into the lucifer commission saga and say lucifer was commissioned by vox to make that figurine. add this on to lucifer deciding to join an overlord meeting just to try and keep more in touch with the sinners and he's like "oh! I made that" and alastor's like "you WHAT" and velvette goes "YOU'RE the one vox commissioned this from??" and alastor's like "vox WHAT??????????" and then they sing a reprise of "you didn't know?"
every iteration of this gets worse and worse I'm sorry.
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50K.
#I love how you can summon a fandom with a specific amount of money#hide away hide away from me#hazbin hotel#verbalase#hazbin charlie
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IF YOU SEE THIS PLS REBLOG
ATTENTION ALL GIRLS AND LADIES: if you walk from home, school, office or anywhere and you are alone and you come across a little boy crying holding a piece of paper with an address on it, DO NOT TAKE HIM THERE! take him straight to the police station for this is the new 'gang' way of rape. The incident is getting worse. Warn your families. Reblog this so this message can get accross to everyone.
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im not one to read x reader smut, esp of alastor but this made me laugh so hard
Alastor x Reader Smut (I'm so fcking hammered right noew HEELLLP)
I'm not even oging to bother putting word count or outline enjoy (Nsfw under tag)
A/N now that i'm sober: I'm not even editing any of this this is absolutely golden... I was so out of it LOL Happy Valentines Day ig to me
A/N #2: Pink Whitney is dangerous
Alastor was genuienly sick of your shit like GENUINELY SICK of it like he just literlaly did not want to deal with you anymore and it seemsd the only way to get rid of your dumbass shit was to fuck you bc you're a selfihs needy motherufker (me too tho tbh).
He fucking went in your room and started begging you to leave him alone but you were liiek no bc why the fuck would you ever want ot leave big bad deer man alone
You walked up t ohim and slid your finger down his chest, smirking in the process. he reailizeed he was lowkey actually enjoying this shit like GAWDAMD you were FUCKINGH OT AS SHIT HE WANTED OT ABSOLUTELY FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU yeah!!!
He threw you o nthe bed and made you promise that if he fucked you this SINGUALAR time then you would leaveh im alone for the rest of his miserable radio demon fucking life and you agreed even though you kno you would keep annoying him
He pulled dow nyour pants and after a bit of foreplay he was like ok im ready to fuck you nwow and then you wrre like hold on give me a second i need to find my vape it got buried in the sheets somewhere
so you both got off each other and started rustking around in the sheets and duvet to find your vape and it was ON THE FUCKING FLOOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME THANK FCK
and you took a puff out of it and he was like bruh and then u offer it ot him and he had no idea what the ufck it was bc he's a old ass BITCH
amd then you guys fucked and it FELT SO FUCKING GOOD and then he came inside of you and you came inside ofh im too bc thats definitely how female anatomy works !!!
and then he elft you alone and you fell asleep with your vape in your hand iknowing u would keep annyoign him again
ok there y go guys im going to sleep now bye
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guys turns out im not fat i just haven't shit in like one and a half weeks
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i hc that vox was white and that since val and vel are both canon poc they always tell him to take his shoes off when in the homier parts of the tower
#might just be me being delulu tho#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel 2024#the vees#hazbin velvette#hazbin vox#hazbin valentino
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ofc everyone knows this alastor card:
but can someone somehow incorporate his design elements into an ace (in the hole) card
#please please please#someone do this#I could if I had the materials#asexual#aroace#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel 2024#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel shitpost
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I cant believe alex brightman was killed by alex brightman for trying to kill alex brightman
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made a thing w/ my oc and her cat, might colour it latr
ref:
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2 guys being arch enemies is kinda gay bc what are you arching?? Your back?
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voxval is what happens when you take gaslight-gatekeep-girlboss and manipulate-mansplain-manwhore and put them in a blender and end up with one glass of gaslight-manboss-mansplain and one glass of manipulate-girlkeep-manwhore and then make the two french kiss
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Something I noticed about Poison
In literally every Hazbin song (except maybe Out For Love, which was a dance number type duet) there are more than one person singing.
Except Poison.
Angel is the only one singing. Completely alone. The only other even mentioned prominent character is Valentino.
I'm not really good at looking into things, but I feel like this is pretty interesting.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel 2024#hazbin angel dust#hazbin alastor#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel fandom#hazbin husk#hazbin vaggie#hazbin valentino#hazbin vox#hazbin charlie#hazbin sir pentious#hazbin cherri bomb#hazbin velvette
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guys the brainrot is real I just had a dream where I was doing the laundry and I saw the entire hazbin cast's clothes in the laundry tub and I genuinely tweaked so hard I woke up
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I thought civil was pronounces si-vel for the longest time
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me when hazbin when me me when
who can relate
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