#your honor hes my bbgirl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

divkazkdovikde · 7 months

Text

having thoughts about barty crouch jr

like what do you mean he escaped from azkaban thanks to his mother who took his place??

just to be then imperio’d by his father???

he basically spent most of his life in prison. you know, metaphorically speaking… (screaming crying throwing myself against the wall)

also on the other note: the fact that barty and james both had an ivisibility cloak???

not to mention the fact that he was obviously very fucking smart??? (the whole gof being the evidence of that) of course he was a fucking ravenclaw, his brains mate, his fucking brains

always kinda cackling about the way he basically went: yeah i’d like for you to die but mate my boss wants to kill you himself so i refuse to let you die before that so yes i will help you to get through murdeous tournament at all fucking costs alright just take it ask no questions trust me dude i know what i am doing

and then screaming crying throwing up because he survived all his friends. all of them. regulus, evan, dorcas, pandora. (he lost pandora and dorcas first, when they went the different way, after losing reg there was no more hope for him, but losing his evan made him lose his mind, made him the mad man)

(barty finally understood why dorcas went mad, basically all achilles, after marlene died. he finally understood the pain dorcas felt, when evan died in his arms. and you know how it goes, going mad with pain. he finally understood why dorcas laughed, when she took down no small number of death eaters in her madness, before voldemort finally stopped her. he understood it, when he tortured alice and frank, ones of those responsible for evan’s death, and he laughed too, madly, finally tasting the sweetnest of revenge. and at those moments he allowed himself for a moment to miss his former friend, to mourn her. and he let himself taste the bitter memory of her, of them, of who they used to be, of who they never got to be. just for a moment. and it was dorcas who he thought of in his last moments, when he finally understood the relief, she must have felt, as she was finally going to join the love of her life and above. and he died with the same little content smile as he thought of the girl who was once his friend, who went mad over her lovers’ death, whose doom was so similar to his, yet not really. he thought of dorcas and marlene when he finally reunited with evan in the afterlife. and in the afterlife, finally free, finally happy, finally not in pain, he hoped that in their next life, the doom would be fate instead.)

alright this escalated quickly, that was not the plan but eh, anyway, i’ll leave it there.

so yeah. barty crouch jr. want him in my pocket. he’s my bbgirl an i’m starting to go absolutely feral over him. hopefully i’ll be able to stop that train before it crashes, and there will be no faith for me anymore. (hehe delulu is the solulu)(i’m a lost cause already, who am i kidding)

also absolutely convinced he and sirius talked shit in azkaban. they were absolutely the prison buddies.

anyway barty. crouch… junior. (fr mr igor karkaroff had no business to say his name like that in the bloody movie) my mad crazy felon. i love him your honor.

#i should definitely be asleep btw #brain rot #finally is my favourite word if you hawent noticed #jesus christ that’s embarrassing #barty crouch jr #dead gay wizards #marauders era #rosekiller #slitherin skittles #dorcas meadowes #dorlene #regulus black #pandora lovegood #pandora rosier #evan rosier #barty and dorcas #sirius black #that one barty’s edit #barty crouch junior

125 notes · View notes

jabberwockprince · 1 year

Text

your honor hes my bbgirl

#AIS TOUCHSTARVED CALL ME THIS THURSDAY SO I CAN BITE YOU AGAIN #love it when the love language in the relationship is ultraviolence i love ti so much

15 notes · View notes

delicrieux · 3 years

Text

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”.

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing. word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie: y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!”

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

queen rly went from 🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing.

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.”

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall.

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets.

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout.

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse x reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse x y/n #myso #make you say oh #imagine #imagines

952 notes · View notes

monolid-monologues · 5 years

Text

Eye of the storm - Part III.

#14. (this TITLE l m a o - i know i know - but i’m dramatic, you know this.)

IT’S HAPPA- HAPPAAA- HAPPENINGGGGGGGG.

I knew this in December. i knew this every day for months. Conversations would go on = “what’re you up to these days” “i’m working on a show” “oh wow, when is it” “ *best guess* Spring!”

RING RING IT IS NOW SPRING

* * *

Ok, I fully expected to be a dark freaking mess in this last, final week of my 3-Part SAGA. 2 weeks ago I saw this mountain looming overhead - the shadowy giant head of my First Fucking Show here. Also 2 weeks ago: simply unsure.

I’m calling this post the Eye of the Storm because i find myself RIGHT AT THE CENTER of that really scary haze i could see only as a little dot from the perspective of weeks ago. Atm my to-do list is UNRELENTING at its FINEST but my head is clear and my heart is calm. In the center, i am feeling centered.

i got FED. real. well.

I slit my heart and read the blood for a beautiful room at Teatro Luna last Thursday. What i had to say that night focused on my depravities, but I left the theatre that night feeling incredibly heard, and supported, and healed.

Then i had my workshop performance a few days later.

I am now officially in the last week before my show hits the general public. My last week of “Safety” - is how it feels LOL. My last week of....yes... hiding. and shying.

* * *

The workshop performance that happened last sunday was HOT. I couldn’t have imagined three people as different as they are in a room together watching my play. And their feedback was evERyThiNg.

I knew we’d be running late. Lol. Heather calls me about being 30 min behind and i can’t/don’t say shit because SO AM I.

Sarah, though, is early ;) she’s the first to arrive. Sarah and I know each other through journalism (The Bull’s Eye) and Mock Trial in high school. Bbgirl graduated from U Penn and is now a filmmaker living/working in LA - HER SHORT FILM PREMIERS THIS MAY. She’s brilliant!

Then Robin, my big brother, tumbling in crusty af LOL he’s talking so fast about wearing the same clothes from last night, needing a shower, does heather have any cigarettes, because he crashed at a friend’s. he shows me the GIANT BRUISE on his arm from playing “nostalgic games” with his hyungs. It’s his lucky afternoon; there’s plenty of time for him to KTFO in the back of the warehouse. We hear him snoring as Heather & I work cue-to-cue - kekekekekekeke.

Steve was gonna be late but when he gets here, Heather & I are still quiteee behinddddd, so #safe LOL. Steve is Heather’s boyfriend. and he’s lowkey ON. MY. SIDE :’’’’’) and h-e-l-l-a supportive. Heather’s helping me with the show so he be coming, curious what his girlfriend is up to.

I very much enjoyed the micro worlds-collide moment. AND THEY ALL gave me useful, thoughtful and imaginative feedback.

I’m really excited for them to catch the revisions come show time.

* * *

2 days later, i’m on the phone with Robin. He’s called to check in how are the changes coming? We talk for an hour, i love it, he has more thoughts to share on what he saw, i love it, and i share the parts i’m still messing with. I’m deeply moved by the richness of robin’s experience. I’m having so much fun listening and taking in his perspective, and his imagination.

Of a moment when i start tearing pieces off of one my boxes -- he says

god that was so...unseemly.... i did not like seeing that.

Sarah messages me after the workshop continuing her response to the show (here’s the first 2):

Hey didn’t want to take up too much time so I didn’t say everything I like about your piece but I wanted to message you it so u can use it as motivation for the final push.

I think the irony of someone whose job it is to hear other people’s dreams being disillusioned about dreams in general and not knowing how to make her own come true is brilliant.

* * *

The thing is some ppl will be into it and some ppl won’t. Some ppl will think about coming, some ppl won’t. I’m not pressed. Yes i am fearful of all the regular ass things but it’s so fucking normal to be scared when you bout to do something real real new in new new waters. but we still STEP, STEP, STEPPIN’.

Maybe i expected me to freak out, and angst, and bemoan how hard everything has been/still is, because...To be happy.... to enjoy myself... To have fun right now, could mean, that, the next week could snatch that from me. Which is freaky. My fears compromise my sense of scope - tunnel vision - my own dreams could snatch happiness from me because “i wasn’t good enough” to succeed.

This Is Not True.

The pursuit of your heart’s food, your soul food, your spirit’s purpose and passion and drive, this journey is full of wellness if you seek it, and blessings. It catches up to you. It’s not something to “have”. We line our paths with it and we shine as we move.

So many things are out of my control, right? And i’m giving this project all i can give, right? What can stop me if i don’t stop me??????????

Truly, maybe, the emotional, spiritual, deep work that goes into healing from failure is the scariest mountain. When we’re feeling low, the demonssss mthfknnnn come OUT. to sink you LOWER. And low is not as low as lower. You feel me? Bob back up bitch. BOB UP, down then UP down UP down UP.

* * *

I’ve found sanctuary. I’ve built some kind of sanctuary. It’s my Me time, it’s my slowly but intentionally growing discipline, it’s my family, it’s my friends, it’s my art, it’s my interest in the world, my interest in you, and in me.

Build your sanctuary. Collect for it, gather for it, create it.

Sanctuary means there are restful coves and energizing detours that speckle my days, weeks, months, and years. I visualize them as perforated holes i’ve etched with experience. My self-knowledge, self-love, and my support system come 2GETHER LIKE A GIIIAAANT WOMANNNN (STEVEN UNIVERSE THAT PART) and they punch the hole, and puncture my day-to-day glob of errands/chores/distractions with deliberate windows of surprise, joy, and nourishment. I refuse and resist a linear life.

I’m learning Sanctuary as vital to the integrity of my time and my space. The Sanc-ti-ty of what makes my life beautiful. Sanctuary builds ME up when i build IT. I think sanctuary is knowing what takes care of you, without abuse. I think it’s the pockets of slower lanes and faster lanes we can drop into, for dynamic - present - energetic life.

* * *

I love writing.

The visibility of vulnerability is important to me.

“Special” is overrated.

Being “special” does not exempt anyone from the universe from sorting our most human ass shit. All the shit in our heads and our hearts. The weight of things. Whatever we carry but refuse to wear on our faces. won’t show, can’t show, or struggle to show.

I want to thank my heart for being a beast.

I want to thank you for seeing my pain and my joy.

I’m honoring my process and thinking about yours....

EXACTLY SEVEN DAYS BEFORE MY SHOW. Tickets available now!

* * *

i’ve committed to being vulnerable in writing every week.

previous letter: #13.) Critical Mass - Part II.

drop me a line

http://monolid-monologues.tumblr.com/ask

#tinyletter #rose kim #1800perfection #vulnerable

0 notes