20 Author Questions

thanks to @statelysapphicfor the tag!!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

28!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

162,944

3. What fandoms do you write for?

it's that sweet gwendoline chistie brain rot for me :))

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

push me gently (into love) -> (nsfw) -> two chapter Larissa x reader story in which reader is an art teacher at Nevermore. fluffy, cozy, and sweet, featuring easily skippable smut. rom-com vibes.

when the last restraint is gone -> (ongoing) (nsfw) -> an intense victorian romance between Jane Murdstone and her lady's maid, Laura. sort of in the style of Sarah Waters's historical romance novels. heavily influenced by Vita and Virginia's love letters. featuring a lot of sensually read victorian poetry and dirty, delicious smut.

danger level - one (nsfw) -> filthy smut featuring the good ol' sex pollen trope. Phasma x fem!stormtrooper!reader. hot and a bit silly. straightforward and simple porn lol.

particular (nsfw) -> Larissa Weems x (adult) Wednesday Addams, aka the fic that got me cancelled. ongoing, but written. still in the process of posting it. rom-com with dark humour and some more mature themes, but still relatively light. sort of a coming-of-age story.

so very chivalrous (and so completely oblivious) -> Brienne x princess!reader. very fluffy. Brienne is very good with a sword, but a bit oblivious in the matters of love. featuring good ol' lesbian yearning.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try my best to! i feel like i either wanna rant abt my blorbos and my thought process or i want to be polite. someone took the time to write a comment, and i feel like that warrants a thank you!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmmmm. perhaps the sad ending option for my ruin tastes so sweet (almost as sweet as your lips) -- it's a choose your own adventure story!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

it would have to be either so very chivalrous (and so completely oblivious) or push me gently (into love) which now that i think about have a lot of kudos and comments and hits, so i guess ppl love happy endings hahah

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i'm the queen of controversy apparently, and i was cancelled! but the fic itself didn't get as much hate as ppl didn't even wanna read it lol, i personally got hate mail. so fics? i suppose not. but there is still time, who knows what else i'll post (i know, and ppl will likely have opinions about it)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i very much do lol. the real hot kind :)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i've written exactly one! larissa x phasma bc. reasons. it's smut. chrome and lipstick

11. Have you ever had a fiction stolen?

not to my knowledge! but ppl have heavily copied my work :)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not to my knowledge!

13. Have you ever co-writtten a fic before?

tried to, but the person in question sorta ghosted me lol

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

ughhhhh idk man. i guess the one i spent the longest being obsessed with is malora. i have a dark past lol.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i hope to finish them all Eventually lol but idk, we shall see!

16. What are your writing strengths?

characterisation, point blank haha. i have a sense of rhythm that i sometimes put to good use.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

uhhh i tend to be vague abt things i am bored with while i write, and plot driven things aren't my forte. i can get very dash and comma happy lol. sometimes i tend to Fixate on a word or a phrase and i'm like okay gurl let it go lol, you've used this too many times. i am not very meticulous and i hate doing outlines and i feel like Sometimes it Shows. i feel like sometimes you can tell english is not my native language no matter how hard i try.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

speak the language at least somewhat, please. otherwise it's really hard for it to land well. personally, i feel very lukewarm about it

19. First fandom you wrote for?

uhhhhh. i honestly don't remember. supergirl perhaps?? or ouat.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

our little dance and particular :)

tagging: @the-frankenman-writes @dianneking @zephyr-is-tired @alder-saan @notinmyvocab @theflashesoflove

The Traitor Baru Cormorant Summary:

Lesbian autistic accountant infiltrates the evil Empire to take it down from the inside, commits atrocities bc the ends justify the means

Fun Home - A Family Tragicomic Summary:

Meet Alison's father, a historic preservation expert and obsessive restorer of the family's Victorian home, a third-generation funeral home director, a high-school English teacher, an icily distant parent, and a closeted homosexual who, as it turns out, is involved with his male students and the family babysitter. When Alison comes out as homosexual herself in late adolescence, the denouement is swift, graphic, and redemptive.

Interweaving between childhood memories, college life and present day, and through narrative that is equally heartbreaking and fiercely funny, Alison looks back on her complex relationship with her father and finds they had more in common than she ever knew.

Hehe, all questions with a question mark! Jk jk XD Questions that have food in it.

you mean ALL OF THEM lol well I have a little of free time lets see 1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? chocolate

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? the calm and quiet one, I never got into trouble

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? I stopped drinking soda time ago but would prefeer on cups

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? tomboy goth and grunge... 👀

7. earbuds or headphones? headphones

8. movies or tv shows? tv shows!! the story last more! :D

9. favorite smell in the summer? smell of beach or sea I think

10. game you were best at in p.e.? I think it was dodgeball C: 

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? eggs... lol

12. name of your favorite playlist? “RWBY inspiration ideas” LOL for now

13. lanyard or key ring? Key ring (so I can use my ember celica keychain 👀)

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? not so into candies I think (?) mmm... I think the peppermint caramel

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? never got assignment one (or didnt like any of those)

16. most comfortable position to sit in? depending if is chair or couch xD but mostly its in a weird lotus position

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? a black pair of tennis (I need to buy more shoes :’3)

18. ideal weather? rainy or cloudy weather <3

19. sleeping position? on my back with my arms kind of streched?

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? on my pc, evernote. tho sometimes I take notes on my sketchbook...

21. obsession from childhood? videogames and some cartoons

22. role model? I... dont know? my mother was?

23. strange habits? I dunno lol bite my nails count?

24. favorite crystal? -gem? :D I think the sapphire

25. first song you remember hearing? I think it was Bee gees song (bc of my mom)

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? anything really

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? anything really heh

28. five songs to describe you? Battle Beast, Katy Perry, Delain, Ignea, rwby songs... cant pick one sorry

29. best way to bond with you? If you like the same shows I like or games :) idk sometimes people talk to me and it just “click” and BOOM friendship and sometimes it doesnt work... my head is weird

30. places that you find sacred? My desk at the tv room on my house... 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? dont have an outfit my normal ones are so lame being just jean and a shirt 

32. top five favorite vines? shut up, vulture, YEET, the mario school kids, beagle exorcism... I love a lot xD 

33. most used phrase in your phone? “lol” “puta” “hi Im gay” “Uwu wa this?!”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? moday.com...

35. average time you fall asleep? between 11pm to midnight :c bc of work

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? pff I dont remember but I remember a website where those kind of memes started (?)

37. suitcase or duffel bag? duffel bag

38. lemonade or tea? both

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? lemon meringue pie!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? when a oppossum entered one of the gardens?

41. last person you texted? my sister

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? both!

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? all >:3

44. favorite scent for soap? I think rice and honey lol

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? dark fantasy and scifi

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? pants and a shirt with no undies :3

47. favorite type of cheese? mozarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I dont like so much fruit but I think I would be a mango?

49. what saying or quote do you live by? “I do/wear what I want and I dont give s** about others opinion”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? I dont remember many things made me laugh hehe I think some crack videos or vines

51. current stresses? work...

52. favorite font? Helvetica(?)

53. what is the current state of your hands? clean, nails bitten... meh

54. what did you learn from your first job? there is so many kind of people in the whole world and dirty stuff that happens in movie theatry (cinema)

55. favorite fairy tale? Beauty and the Beast, Alice in wonderland

56. favorite tradition? Halloween Hanal Pixan (Day of death)

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? my mother passing away, my ex gf...  idk 

58. four talents you’re proud of having? drawing and having good concept ideas but poor at trying to execute

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? “HEEEYA” Idk lol

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? ...In a fantasy or dark fantasy or scifi with yuri (lesbian) ...please

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? "Because life, as it is now, is an accident, and will chaotically disappear just as it had appeared" -some dude on youtube comment.

62. seven characters you relate to? Yang, Blake, Chloe, Pearl, Historia eh... Yui and Max I think?

63. five songs that would play in your club? all of my metal songs from spotify

64. favorite website from your childhood? cartoonnetwork.la LOL bc games

65. any permanent scars? a little one on my left eyebrow

66. favorite flower(s)? roses? I think they are cute 

67. good luck charms? my black cat :D... I dont have lol

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? spoiled...milk

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? I dont know how out of nowhere I learned /love english language lol

70. left or right handed? LEFT

71. least favorite pattern? eh?

72. worst subject? religion...

73. favorite weird flavor combo? I dont have I think? 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? like 6-7

75. when did you lose your first tooth? at my house when my mom teach me I think?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? ALL OF THEM I LOVE POTATO

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I dont know so much about plants but maybe a carnivore?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? coffee from gas station (never trust any sea food on store)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? school

80. earth tones or jewel tones? earth I think

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? fireflies

82. pc or console? BOTH

83. writing or drawing? both but more of drawing

84. podcasts or talk radio? 1 podcast only

84. barbie or polly pocket? polly pocket

85. fairy tales or mythology? BOTH!!!!

86. cookies or cupcakes? cookies

87. your greatest fear? end being alone... with no idea of whats gonna happen... and totally darkness 

88. your greatest wish? just survive by drawing or make a comic that ends being famouse or something like that... have a partner but idk I think I still traumatized

89. who would you put before everyone else? none... only me and it depends...

90. luckiest mistake? idk sometimes when I need to save money something happends and I end saving money. (UBER)

91. boxes or bags? boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? lamps

93. nicknames? Tany, Huezo, Kad, Tantan, TAN, Blake and phuezo

94. favorite season? Fall and winter

95. favorite app on your phone? knight chronicles LOL

96. desktop background? RWBY

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? only 2 LOL mine and my father

98. favorite historical era? the creation of our universe and world... dinosaurs and some victorian era...(?) FINISHED OMG thanks for the ask but omg xD

Lesbian meme: 7, 25, 44!

7. Favorite pair of shoes?

THE HARDEST QUESTION. But I have some really old Camper boots that make me feel like a liberated Victorian, so those are certainly up there.

25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

Having the freedom to construct my own life, and to use my life to center women and non-binary people in every way that I can: creatively, sexually, politically, historically, in my friendships, in professional spaces, in my home. There isn’t a manual or to-do list somebody else created for me; I don’t have to dutifully check the boxes whether I want to check them or not. Being a lesbian has made me a kinder, smarter, more interesting person, and it’s also opened me up to a world of kinder, smarter, more interesting people. 

Also–and I don’t *think* this is a sour grapes thing–I came out pretty young, but I did have a period of a quite a few years in which I knew I was a lesbian but I wasn’t actively dating or living that life in an outward way. That period of time taught me to write, and taught me that language and art are valid ways to participate in queer community. If I wasn’t a lesbian, I might have lived outwardly too soon, and I might not be a writer, at least not in the same way  I am today. Those years I spent falling in love with characters and ideas were difficult at times, but I learned patience, and I learned how to live a creative life and how to hone a craft that means more to me than almost anything, even to this day.

44. Who was your first lesbian crush?

Ugh, my stupid art teacher at my stupid school when I was a stupid teenager. Before that, I’d never consciously had a crush on a woman I knew IRL (as opposed to characters in movies and books and TV shows).

Tagged by @dontbeafuckingdicktopeople

Ahh thank you omg 💖💖 I feel super special

Name: Shannon

Gender: Girl

Star sign: Virgo(Libra cusp)

Sexuality: Angry Lesbian

What’s your current wallpaper?

All my boys layin in some grass as my lock screen then Hobi in his purple velvet robe(♡) for cypher as my home screen.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

Nah fam but I do entirely love my best friend who is about to be a teacher so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you could be someone else right now, who and where would you be?

I wouldn’t be a specific person, but I would be content, happy even, and I would be with the people I love doing something that fulfills me in a place that makes me happy.

Coolest Halloween costume?

Like I mean I’ve done Halloween like twice so I’m gonna go with the coolest cosplay I’ve done and it was a Victorian style female 11th Doctor.

Favorite 90′s show?

I used to watch Friends so much that I could recite episodes so I guess that’s my top choice but I also love Will and Grace

Who was your last kiss?

My youngest dog, Poe.

Have you ever been to Las Vegas?

Nope. I have barely travelled out of my (Australian) state let alone to another country.

Favorite pair of shoes?

Yike. Comfort/daily use wise I have this pair of black ballet flat kind of converse and aesthetic wise I love my bright blue high top converse.

Favorite fruit?

Oh damn tricky one. I love strawberries and grapes and mangoes.

Favorite book?

Like to be honest I’ve never really read a book that’s resonated with me but for a while I would just reread Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater over and over again. Like I would finish it then immediately flip it back to the start.

Man but I also really enjoyed Cassandra Clare’s Infernal Devices and I REALLY enjoyed The Good People by Hannah Kent.

(I work in a bookshop y'all so I could probably talk about books for a while)

Stupidest thing you’ve ever done?

Literally everything I’ve ever done. I do stupid things multiple times a day it’s just who I am.

Just gonna tag some of my fave blogs but absolutely no pressure to do this 💖💖💖

@redheadhobi @myheartbelongstogravity @gayoongi @seokjinlesbian @moonlesbianhobi @honeylemontaes @sugamonsta @jaayhope @jhsed @softest-yoongi @religion-agustd @jhuope @lancespants @hobioclock @misohobi @yoonseok @minyoongsueit

I just realised I have quite a few favourite blogs haha and I’ve still probably forgotten someone 💖

I was tagged by @musclekittysenpai

rules: tag ten followers you want to get to know better.

name: Logan

gender: genderfluid (girl rn tho)

star sign: aries

height: 5′9″

age: 16

sexuality: girls,,

house: slytherclaw

what image do you have as your wallpaper? my phone wallpaper is a drawing of some Victorian lesbians, my laptop wallpaper is the international space station, it’s occurred to me that those two images sum up my personality and interests far too well...

have you ever had a crush on a teacher? no

where do you see yourself in ten years? studying neurobiology, living in a big city apartment with a roommate, theres a wall to wall bookshelf in the living room that’s completely full.

if you could be anywhere else right now, where? the Chicago field museum.  or hanging out with my online friends irl. or hanging out with my online friends at the field museum. yeah, that last one’s good

what was your coolest halloween costume? my elf costume last year was pretty cool. my tardis dress was probably the coolest though

what was your favorite 90′s show? animaniacs

have you ever been to Las Vegas? yeah as a little kid we drove through but not like. really there

favorite pair of shoes? my steel toe boots! actually my only pair of shoes. i need to buy formal shoes for prom...

favorite book? hitchhikers guide to the galaxy probably? or the magnus chase books? catcher in the rye? to kill a mockingbird? i’ve been really into oscar wildes short stories lately? listen i love so many books,,

the stupidest thing you’ve ever done: once i ate a whole table spoon of roasted garlic on impulse. i also tried to season chicken with taco bell hot sauce once. also when i cross stitch i tend to chew on my embroidery needle while i’m looking for floss/finding my place/ not actively stitching which is,,, super dumb but Whatever 

all time favorite tv shows: star trek tos, wonder woman, the twilight zone,,, i don’t watch a lot of tv,,,

the last movie you saw at the theater: i think it was batman v. superman? i’m seeing love simon tomorrow tho!!

@gsnkhurray @super--usami @punkrorschach @the-scottish-costume-guy @north-south-east @tunaofdoubt @uultramoon @yougottabeblitzenmyhearthstone @princerino @the-x-key-is-jammed

PRIDE MONTH NONFICTION PICKS FOR YA

The Letter Q: Queer Writers' Notes to their Younger Selves by Sarah Moon (Editor),

If you received a letter from your older self, what do you think it would say? What do you wish it would say?

That the boy you were crushing on in History turns out to be gay too, and that you become boyfriends in college? That the bully who is making your life miserable will one day become so insignificant that you won't remember his name until he shows up at your book signing?

In this anthology, sixty-three award-winning authors such as Michael Cunningham, Amy Bloom, Jacqueline Woodson, Gregory Maguire, David Levithan, and Armistead Maupin make imaginative journeys into their pasts, telling their younger selves what they would have liked to know then about their lives as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgendered people. Through stories, in pictures, with bracing honesty, these are words of love and understanding, reasons to hold on for the better future ahead. They will tell you things about your favorite authors that you never knew before. And they will tell you about yourself.

For Colored Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Still Not Enough: Coming of Age, Coming Out, and Coming Home by Keith Boykin (Editor)

In 1974, playwright Ntozake Shange published For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf. The book would go on to inspire legions of women for decades and would later become the subject and title of a hugely popular movie in the fall of 2010. While the film was selling out movie theaters, young black gay men were literally committing suicide in the silence of their own communities.

When a young Rutgers University student named Tyler Clementi took his own life after a roommate secretly videotaped him in an intimate setting with another young man, syndicated columnist and author Dan Savage created a YouTube video with his partner Terry to inspire young people facing harassment. Their message, It Gets Better, turned into a popular movement, inspiring thousands of user-created videos on the Internet. Savage's project targeted people of all races, backgrounds and colors, but Boykin has created something special "for colored boys."

The new book, For Colored Boys, addresses longstanding issues of sexual abuse, suicide, HIV/AIDS, racism, and homophobia in the African American and Latino communities, and more specifically among young gay men of color. The book tells stories of real people coming of age, coming out, dealing with religion and spirituality, seeking love and relationships, finding their own identity in or out of the LGBT community, and creating their own sense of political empowerment. For Colored Boys is designed to educate and inspire those seeking to overcome their own obstacles in their own lives.

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel

In this graphic memoir, Alison Bechdel charts her fraught relationship with her late father.

Distant and exacting, Bruce Bechdel was an English teacher and director of the town funeral home, which Alison and her family referred to as the Fun Home. It was not until college that Alison, who had recently come out as a lesbian, discovered that her father was also gay. A few weeks after this revelation, he was dead, leaving a legacy of mystery for his daughter to resolve.

All-girl camp. First love. First heartbreak. At once romantic and devastating, brutally honest and full of humor, this graphic-novel memoir is a debut of the rarest sort.

Maggie Thrash has spent basically every summer of her fifteen-year-old life at the one-hundred-year-old Camp Bellflower for Girls, set deep in the heart of Appalachia. She’s from Atlanta, she’s never kissed a guy, she’s into Backstreet Boys in a really deep way, and her long summer days are full of a pleasant, peaceful nothing . . . until one confounding moment. A split-second of innocent physical contact pulls Maggie into a gut-twisting love for an older, wiser, and most surprising of all (at least to Maggie), female counselor named Erin. But Camp Bellflower is an impossible place for a girl to fall in love with another girl, and Maggie’s savant-like proficiency at the camp’s rifle range is the only thing keeping her heart from exploding. When it seems as if Erin maybe feels the same way about Maggie, it’s too much for both Maggie and Camp Bellflower to handle, let alone to understand.

Ain't Gonna Let Nobody Turn Me Around: Forty Years of Movement Building with Barbara Smith by Alethia Jones (Editor), Virginia Eubanks (Goodreads Author) (Editor), Barbara Smith

As an organizer, writer, publisher, scholar-activist, and elected official, Barbara Smith has played key roles in multiple social justice movements, including Civil Rights, feminism, lesbian and gay liberation, anti-racism, and Black feminism. Her four decades of grassroots activism forged collaborations that introduced the idea that oppression must be fought on a variety of fronts simultaneously, including gender, race, class, and sexuality. By combining hard-to-find historical documents with new unpublished interviews with fellow activists, this book uncovers the deep roots of today's identity politics and intersectionality and serves as an essential primer for practicing solidarity and resistance.

Gay America: Struggle for Equality by Linas Alsenas (Goodreads Author), Linas Aisenas

Milestones of gay and lesbian life in the United States are brought together in the first-ever nonfiction book published specifically for teens.

Profusely illustrated with archival images, the groundbreaking Gay America reveals how gay men and women have lived, worked, and loved for the past 125 years. Gays and lesbians play a very prominent role in American life today, whether grabbing headlines over political gains, starring in and being the subject of movies and television shows, or filling the streets of nearly every major city each year to celebrate Gay Pride. However, this was not always the case, and this book charts their journey along with the history of the country.

First touching on colonial times, the book moves on to the Victorian period and beyond, including such historical milestones as the Roaring ’20s, the Kinsey study, the McCarthy witch hunts of the 1950s, the Beat generation, Stonewall, disco, AIDS, and present-day battles over gay marriage. Providing a sense of hope mixed with pride, author Linas Alsenas demonstrates how, within one century, gay women and men have gone from being socially invisible to becoming a political force to be reckoned with and proud members of the American public living openly and honestly.

Revolutionary Voices: A Multicultural Queer Youth Anthology by Amy Sonnie (Editor)

Invisible. Unheard. Alone. Chilling words, but apt to describe the isolation and alienation of queer youth. In silence and fear they move from childhood memories of intolerance or violence to the unknown, unmentored landscape of queer adulthood, their voices stilled or ignored. No longer. Revolutionary Voices celebrates the hues and harmonies of the future of queer society, offering a collection of experiences, ideas, dreams, manifestos, and fantasies expressed through prose, poetry, artwork, and performance pieces. This one-of-a-kind collection is an all-encompassing, far-reaching call to action that provides the groundwork for a new community where all members are recognized as critical components to our future society.

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker

What if you weren't sexually attracted to anyone?

A growing number of people are identifying as asexual. They aren't sexually attracted to anyone, and they consider it a sexual orientation—like gay, straight, or bisexual.

Asexuality is the invisible orientation. Most people believe that "everyone" wants sex, that "everyone" understands what it means to be attracted to other people, and that "everyone" wants to date and mate. But that's where asexual people are left out—they don't find other people sexually attractive, and if and when they say so, they are very rarely treated as though that's okay.

When an asexual person comes out, alarming reactions regularly follow; loved ones fear that an asexual person is sick, or psychologically warped, or suffering from abuse. Critics confront asexual people with accusations of following a fad, hiding homosexuality, or making excuses for romantic failures. And all of this contributes to a discouraging master narrative: there is no such thing as "asexual." Being an asexual person is a lie or an illness, and it needs to be fixed.

In The Invisible Orientation, Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people's experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones.

Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out by Susan Kuklin

A groundbreaking work of LGBT literature takes an honest look at the life, love, and struggles of transgender teens.

Author and photographer Susan Kuklin met and interviewed six transgender or gender-neutral young adults and used her considerable skills to represent them thoughtfully and respectfully before, during, and after their personal acknowledgment of gender preference. Portraits, family photographs, and candid images grace the pages, augmenting the emotional and physical journey each youth has taken. Each honest discussion and disclosure, whether joyful or heartbreaking, is completely different from the other because of family dynamics, living situations, gender, and the transition these teens make in recognition of their true selves.

Coming Out Under Fire: The History of Gay Men and Women in World War II by Allan Bérubé, Estelle B. Freedman (Foreword), John D'Emilio(Foreword)

During World War II, as the United States called on its citizens to serve in unprecedented numbers, the presence of gay Americans in the armed forces increasingly conflicted with the expanding antihomosexual policies and procedures of the military. In Coming Out Under Fire, Allan Berube examines in depth and detail these social and political confrontations--not as a story of how the military victimized homosexuals, but as a story of how a dynamic power relationship developed between gay citizens and their government, transforming them both. Drawing on GIs' wartime letters, extensive interviews with gay veterans, and declassified military documents, Berube; thoughtfully constructs a startling history of the two wars gay military men and women fought--one for America and another as homosexuals within the military.

Berube's book, the inspiration for the 1995 Peabody Award-winning documentary film of the same name, has become a classic since it was published in 1990, just three years prior to the controversial "don't ask, don't tell" policy, which has continued to serve as an uneasy compromise between gays and the military. With a new foreword by historians John D'Emilio and Estelle B. Freedman, this book remains a valuable contribution to the history of World War II, as well as to the ongoing debate regarding the role of gays in the U.S. military.

Fleeting Moments

Before you read: This short story contains some tough subject matter regarding LGBTQ+ and suicide. Suicide is never the answer there is always something to look forward to, if you are feeling suicidal or that you have thoughts of ending your life please call the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255,

There are moments in our lives that shine like beacons in the dark mist of our pasts. The brightest beacons aren’t usually happy moments we like to recount, but they always tend to pop-up when we least expect them. When I was younger my parents would warn me about ‘monsters’ that hunt at night and that I should never venture out in the dark. Yet, I found solace standing under a full moon at its peak while the cool air wrapped around, gently caressing me and erasing all my woes. I always felt most alive in those fleeting moments, I even thought that maybe I was a monster too. ~~~~ The first time I ever felt free and that the cruel senseless world that I was in couldn’t capture me was when I set eyes on Her in middle school. I didn’t realize at the time what I felt was so wrong. I saw Her in the hallway of Eastern Middle. The packed hallways were filled with anxious sweaty prepubescent teens rushing to fifth period. The buzz of chatter filled the dank florescent lit halls as bustling bodies blurred and all I could see was her covered in a halo of light. Her dark auburn-chestnut hair, her fair ivory skin kissed with light freckles, all seemed to standout in the crowd. Time seemed to slow as I drew closer to Her. I could see the rosy flush on her cheeks, the faint pink on her plush lips. She turned pushing her wavy hair behind her diamond pierced ears. Our eyes met and her crystal blue eyes took my breath away, they looked like gems that could see through my soul. She tilted her head and faintly smiled sideways embarrassingly. The smile that reached her eyes twinkled from under her heavy mascara coated lashes. We passed by each other and when I turned around she had vanished into the sea of people. I stood still, the waves parted around me as I grasped at my chest, heart racing; I dared not move in case it would explode. I’d never felt such sensation before in the twelve years that I had been alive. I took a deep breath and continued towards class not thinking about anything else but her beautiful oval face. It was later in the week that I saw her again in the cafeteria sitting at a table by herself. I took a deep breath and hoped I wouldn’t faint. I looked around and noticed that we were of a few kids in the cafeteria, most of the other lunch-goers were outside eating and talking away. I got to the long gray rectangular table and took another deep breath and somehow managed to say “Hi…um…Can I sit with you?” “Sure.” She looked up surprised but smiled and gestured to the seat across from her. I noticed her nails which had small panda faces on them and giggled to myself. Gosh I loved pandas. I sat down across and smiled at her. “Why are you laughing?” she asked. “Oh! Sorry…um I really like pandas and seeing your nails I just got really happy.” I blushed and pulled my tray closer to me on the table. “Oh thanks. My older sister did it. I like pandas too. They are my favorite animal. Oh um, by the way I’m Ellie, well my name is Elisabeth but I feel that it’s an old person’s name so I prefer Ellie. What’s your name?” She happily chimed as she put out her hand for me to shake. “I’m Kat. Just…just Kat nothing pretty like Elisabeth,” I shyly shook her hand “sorry if I am bugging you I just saw you a few days ago and thought you were beautiful and wanted to talk to you.” I looked up from her hand and blood rushed to my face I didn’t mean to say all that. Her face matched mine and we both looked away giggling embarrassingly to escape the awkwardness. “I am so sorry. I will go.” As I grabbed my untouched tray to leave with my tail between my legs. She grabbed my tray. “It’s okay. I thought you were pretty too when we passed by in the hallway a few days ago. I’m even happier that you came to sit with me.” She tilted her head and smiled just like the first time I ever saw her. I learned what love was in that moment. Looking back at that time I realize how carefree we were. We didn’t know what bisexual or lesbian or even gay meant. We started spending more time together and would meet up after school. We would even have sleepovers and just talk about our families and our siblings and even about what was on the news. She was the middle child and had one older sister and a younger brother. Her mom was dating this highly religious guy that she met at church. She loved animals and reading Victorian novels like those from Bronte and Jane Austin. She even told me one night when I was over at her house that she wanted to be an English teacher overseas. She loved the idea of traveling. Weeks to months and then to years went by and we were inseparable. We dated guys and things never worked out and always broke up after a little while because things just didn’t ‘work’, it wasn’t that we weren’t attracted to guys it was more like we didn’t want to be separated. ~ The summer before our Freshman year of High school we were sitting on her back porch basking in the hot early-July sun next to her pool. She had on a two-piece swimsuit that was a wave of pastels and that had large silver hoop in the middle that showcased the hollow between her breasts. I noticed that over the last two and a half years that our bodies had both really changed. We both became more woman-like, Ellie however, had a slim waist that expanded out to wide curvy hips and toned thighs that touched ever so slightly as she laid on the beach towel. Her breasts were smaller than mine but were still larger than some of the other girls we had last seen before middle school graduation. Her skin wasn’t a fair ivory anymore it had become a golden light brown from us laying out in the sun every day, mine however was still pale and was a light pink from all the sun. I looked down at my swimsuit which were swimming shorts and a tank top-like swimming suit; I didn’t have the smooth thin body like Ellie. I had become slightly chubby, my hips got wider, my chest bigger and bigger than everyone’s. Yet, she told me it would be a shame to wear boy swim trunks and a baggy t-shirt when it was just us. “You know what! I’m going for swim.” She jumped up suddenly and caused me to flinch back and act like I wasn’t stealing glances at her. She sashayed towards the stairs and slowly but elegantly stepped down without causing any huge waves in the water. Once she got to the four-foot depth she turned around and leaned back and pushed off and floated on the water, her hair which came down to the middle of her back looked almost black in the faint blue of the water. She looked like a nymph floating in the water. “Kat! Come in its at that temperature where you don’t have to jump right in and freeze it’s at the perfect temp!” She swam towards the edge closest to me and splashed water at me trying to get me wet but it didn’t quite reach. Her hair stuck to her face and clung to her chest as she pushed herself up on the ledge begging me to join her. “Ugh fine. I guess I might as swim since tanning is impossible for unlike someone.” I turned and jokingly glared at her as I slowly walking towards the stairs, and joined her in the middle of the pool. As I waded towards her she smiled and splashed me giggling “Took ya long enough.” I rolled my eyes laughing. I dove into the water and swam past her yanking on her feet pulling her under the water. As we both came up, we busted out laughing, hair in our faces, splashing each other and goofing off. We spent the next hour just playing and finally decided to sit on the bottom step and shoulders bumping into each other, sitting quietly until she broke the silence. “Did you see the news last night? The part about Vermont recognizing gay couples as a legal union?” She matter-of-factly mentioned. She stared up at the sky which was clear and unclouded like her eyes. “Kind of, my mom turned off the TV before I could finish listening to. She started yelling at the TV saying, ‘Fags all burn in hell. They’re monsters who deserve the death penalty. ’ She’s extreme.” I stared upward towards the sky hoping to see whatever had caught her attention. “That’s a little more than extreme, Kat.” She turned towards me and there was this sadness in her eyes that may have been directed towards me. “It is. I just let her rant. I don’t believe that God is that maleficent towards people that are different but I can’t mention that to my mom or she’d probably hit me and disown me. I think people should be able to love whoever they happen to fall for. Hell, we all need love in this crazy world.” I half-heartedly smiled at her and continued “Like if it doesn’t directly harm or affect you why would it matter? You’ve met my mom, she’s sweet around guests but is different with me especially since dad is never around or too drunk to care. How did your family react?” “Less dramatic as yours but they were still upset. ‘Hate the sin not the sinner’ they said and then snuffed and talked about how the world is ending and blah, blah, blah.” Ellie didn’t seem to want to continue but she seemed sad almost. “Welcome to the Bible belt.” I sneered. I looked up again at the sky and the sun had started to creep towards the West and the sky was changing colors. “It’s beautiful,” I whispered, “I have something to mention.” She was fiddling with her fingers and then looked up at me eyes wide and curious. “I like you.” I kept looking up at the sky watching planes streaking the sky. She was quiet. “I like you too.” She softly added looking at the sky with me. I sighed, I didn’t think she understood. “No, like,” I couldn’t form the right words, “I think I’m what they call bisexual and I’ve been in love with you since sixth grade. I probably wouldn’t have said anything but you mentioned what happened in Vermont and I guess I felt I could mention it even if it would make you hate me.” I rambled on and closed my eyes, took a depth breath and looked at her opening myself to her, waiting. “Well…this is awkward.” Ellie lightly but awkwardly laughed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Sorry…I’ll um… leave.” I hastily got up and when to turn to walk up the stair and she grabbed my arm yanking me back. I slipped on the edge of the stair and fell into the water, I sat on my knees after coming up coughing, pushing my hair out of my face. Suddenly, I felt her water-wrinkled hands against my cheeks and before I could open my eyes to try and see through my blurred vision her lips were on mine. Our teeth clashed at first but she didn’t let go. I felt a tingle in my gut and instinctively leaned in and grabbed at her waist and tried to pull her closer. She opened her mouth, I opened mine and our tongues clumsily explored each other. After what felt like a life time she leaned her head against mine and we both sighed. “Stupid.” She whispered. I couldn’t help it and busted out laughing. “Well then, I didn’t expect that.” Laughing I stated matter-of-factly. ~ We moved from just friends to secretly dating, even though we knew that what we were doing was wrong. We started spending more time at each other’s houses and thankfully, our parents couldn’t tell that anything had changed. We were normal during the day but became ‘monsters’ at night when we were alone. There were even times when we would sneak out at night and just walk to the central park that was only a mile away from her house and about two miles from mine. We would climb to the top of the swirling slide and hide between the green plastic walls that shielded up from any passersby. We could finally stop hiding when we were there, it was like we were small children with our own fort, we didn’t have to pretend and could be a couple under the protective moon. When it was still warm we would make-out and explore each other while hidden away in the dead of night, yet, once it got cold we had to be more careful and stay indoors. The moments with her were the brightest beacons in my dark life. I had multiple sketches of her face and body hidden away under my bed that I dared not show to anyone but her. Yet, the more time I spent with her, intimately, the more of a monster I felt. Mom had gotten worse in her anti-gay preaches that she spewed once she got home from her job, she would yell and go off on tangents about how if her own child was a fag she would kill it because she wouldn’t be known to have brought an atrocious ‘Fag’ into this world. When Ellie wasn’t with me, I would lay on my bed listening to Train or Pink looking at my ceiling contemplating whether I was truly a monster or not. As time passed it got harder and harder to stand my own reflection. Every time I looked in the mirror and saw my wavy strawberry blonde hair and hazel eyes, all I saw was an abomination that shouldn’t exist. Yet, I loved her and I couldn’t change that. I didn’t want to change that because being with her felt right. However, I had this gut feeling that something bad was going to happen, I didn’t know if it was my anxiety or depression but I was always uneasy someone would find out. ~ After a year of dating Ellie and I got comfortable with staying over at each other’s houses and had gotten good at hiding our relationship, no one suspected anything. Ellie was over at my house and we ate dinner and told my mom that we were going to my room. “Sure sweety, have fun you two.” Mom smiled a creepy fake smile and turned back around to finish the dishes. I could tell she wanted to go off on Dad about him drinking heavily with a guest in the house or it could’ve been about the trash not being taken out but she held it end so the company wouldn’t know how she felt or about her fits of rage. We walked out of the open part-kitchen part-dining room and turned around the corner to held towards my room at the end of the all. Ignoring the empty walls void of any photos we came to my white door which didn’t seem to lead anywhere but once opened it gave way to what seemed like an art gallery. My painting and sketches covered all of three walls while one wall had only book cover posters. There wasn’t an inch of wall that was visible, expect the wall behind the headboard of my bed which was pushed into the corner across from the door. As Ellie came into the room, I closed the door and jumped on my bed landing on my stomach. “Ugh, I’m so tired.” I spoke softly incase my mom was listening. “Not too tired I hope?” Ellie climbed onto bed next to me propping up on her elbow. She reached over and pushed my hair behind my ear. I leaned into her hand and closed my eyes and sighed. “I’m not physically tired, just emotionally. Maybe someone can make me feel better?” I grinned at her and pushed myself up to lean over and lightly kiss her soft gloss covered lips. “Feeling better already.” I turned towards her and propping on my elbow, like her, waiting to see what she would do next. “Geez, you’re so smooth. Where did this sly Kat come from!?” Ellie huffed but smiled back at me. “Oh! Music.” She climbed over me and off the bed to turn on my mini boombox that sat on my dresser facing us. She turned it on and put on a Pink CD that I had sitting next to the box and hit play. She then turned towards me and with a sly smile on her face she slowly walked towards me and pushed me onto my back and climbed on top of me. I was taken back by how bold she was being, it was usually me that was the aggressor when it came to things like this. We kissed and became entangled in each other, Ellie sat up suddenly and yanked her pink hoodie off over her head and threw it on the floor. She yanked at my baggy t-shirt and when I sat up a little she yanked that off as well. We became enamored with each other’s bodies and were caught up in the moment because nothing matter than becoming closer to each other. We didn’t realize that my mom had come into the until we heard the shatter of glass. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!” Mom’s face was mortified and seething with rage. Horrified Ellie and I couldn’t say anything. I snapped out of the shock and sat of straight pushing Ellie behind me and as clear as I could, although I was shaking, I said “Mom. We are dating, we’ve been dating for a little over a year now. I love Ellie.” Mom was dumbstruck and couldn’t form any thought for a second so I grabbed Ellie’s hoodie and my shirt and we quickly put them back on. Mom walked out of my room not saying anything. “Well I guess it could’ve been worse. We could’ve been completely naked.” Ellie light joked although she was shaking. I don’t know why but I grabbed her stuff and handed it to her. I turned off the boombox and looked at Ellie. “I need you to leave now. I’ve got a bed feeling. Please.” I grabbed her and kissed her once again on the lips. As I pushed her towards my window that was nestled behind my dresser, I heard mom rustling through drawers in her room a door down frantically yelling “Where is it!?” It got quiet and I ran to the window and threw it open and whispered to Ellie to “Go!” She ran to the window and as she started to climb out Mom came rushing back pointing a gun at us. “I said that I would kill any child of mine if they were a filthy fag! How! How could I give birth to such a disgusting demon!? YOU AREN’T MY DAUGHTER!!” Her voice got louder until she was screaming and she raised the gun and fired. I pushed Ellie out the window and tried to block the view from her, so she could get away. My mom, tears streaming down her face held the gun in her shaking hands. She looked like feral, her body tensed and her eyes were budging. “Mom. Please, I’m still your daughter. I’m the same person.” I put my hands out gesturing to her to put the gun down. “Please mom, put the gun down.” She started to lower the gun and looked around my room. “I’m going to call Ellie’s mom and tell her what I saw. But, I don’t have a daughter anymore. I want you gone. If only you died instead of your brother.” After the last sentence, she turned around and walked out, I collapsed onto the floor sobbing and clutching my chest. I don’t know if it was from almost being killed or the what she said last but I didn’t want to live anymore after that. ~~~ A month had gone by since Kat was kicked out and Ellie had been forced to leave. Kat had hitched some rides to different cities but she didn’t have a destination in mind, just anywhere was fine. She had gotten better at figuring out who was good for a ride and who wasn’t. She had already learned of the true monsters at night, they had made her do things she didn’t want to do but she felt that it was retribution for her sins. She just zoned out and looked at the beacons in the darkness which were what got her through the nights. She no longer found solace under the moon and the night sky but felt trapped and lonely. The cool air that once caressed her now strangled her with its iciness. She had gotten a ride from an older man one night to a shelter in the town she was in but instead of the shelter he just had his way with her and then threw her out on some curb when he was done; not caring at all that he raped and beat some young girl, he just tossed some cash out at her and sped off. She didn’t care anymore about what happened to her, her body was no longer hers. She grabbed the money and started walking. Kat came to a seven-eleven and searched for anything to end her misery. She grabbed a water bottle, three small bottles of Excedrin that were in the strongest dose she could find and walked to the check out. The cashier who had a sunken in face with oily olive toned skin and a buzzed haircut just stared at her. “Is that all?” He asked uncaringly. “Yeah.” Kat whispered. “That’s a lot of Excedrin.” He pointed out in a matter of fact tone. “And?” Kat looked him in the eyes, her eyes seemed so dead that the cashier didn’t bother to mention anything else about what she was buying. He placed all the items in a bag and handed it to her. She didn’t bother to get her change and just walked out after paying. She walked into an alleyway and sat down. She opened her water bottle and the bottles of medicine and swallowed a handful at a time until there was nothing left for her to take. She then laid down curled into a ball and went to sleep. She didn’t feel any pain but as she ventured into sleep she saw a light in the distance and began to slowly walk towards it. It was warm and she felt at peace looking at the light. As she got closer she could see the outline of a girl just slightly shorter than her, who was thin but had curvy hips and long dark hair. She started to speed up to figure out who that girl was and once she stepped into the light she was back in Ellie’s room. Ellie laying next to her and just smiling. “I’ve missed you.” She whispered. Kat couldn’t help but start crying and grabbed Ellie’s face and kiss her. “I missed you too” Kat said softly.

 The End