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viscountessevie · 2 years

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Idk if and when you'll start answering benophie asks again but I cant help but notice how all the 🌼 that shit on aofag by saying its classist and elitist are also the same people who don't want to see that story played out on screen. It's such textbook virtue signaling and I'm tired of it. Like just say that you don't relate to to sophie or her story of trauma and abuse, just say that you want a story about two rich people going to balls and falling in love. There's nothing wrong with that. (1)

Related Ask I got about a week after(?):

First off hii anon thank you for sending this in and waiting a while!

Just a lot of shit happened on this blog and then when you sent this in I was trying to keep my blog ‘neutral’ because some people took offence to my post calling you-know-whos after a old timey disease and decided that we wouldn’t be impartial with our poll results which btw I apologise to everyone who is still waiting for it - I’ve been depressed (I’m fine don’t worry it just be like that sometimes) and my friends all have started school/work so life has happened we’re going to try to compile everything starting this weekend hopefully! Will come back with more updates when we’re ready to post.

That tangent aside, that’s why I couldn’t answer right away and then everything on my blog happened but now it’s free rein, The Petty Viscountess is here and ready to answer all your anons venting and calling shit out on you know which fandom. Not even gonna bother giving them a cute nickname, they’ll whine.

Let’s get into your ask, shall we! I don’t have more points to add to be honest - you said it all!

Sophie saved their book!! And also we have Luke T to thank for making Ben even more likeable! Ben has his charming moments in the books but we all - even those of us who love him - gotta admit he was so creepy at times being so pushy. I think its good for us Benophines to accept that part of him in Book Canon and engage critically with that aspect of him.

However that being said, you’re absolutely right about the way other subfandom fans can be so annoying about our ships by acting all high and mighty about their ship both being virgins. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that inherently and it can be romantic - but to act like that somehow makes their racist faves a morally better couple??? Do they realise they sound super puritan and like Church Pastors and Nuns who scared us former Christian kids into not having sex cos it was supposedly a sin??

It’s funny when you realise now most of them are trying to their couple out to be Kathony 2.0 in order to generate the hype for S3 its pretty sad that they don’t even believe in their own ship to let them be their own people.

To end this ask off I do wanna reiterate two very poignant points you made in your ask:

I'm disinterested in half the bridgerton ships but I don't go around pretending to have a good reason why.

They're already getting their season a year early, just leave us to our misery and they enjoy the content you get instead of constantly rubbing it in our faces. Every single ship is annoying but *god* their egos have inflated to the size of a bounce house lately.

I have no idea why That Subfandom is so hellbent on everyone liking them and their ship so damn much. Like just accept that the show version have shitty versions of those characters and that majority of your fandom are racist assholes so the rest of us want nothing to do with you!! Be secure in yourselves and accept that you don’t need anyone else’s validation - yall have shown yourselves that you’re are deluded enough anyway.

[I always say this but just a reminder: the only valid ones are most of the time Book Polins who hate the show version and are upset their fave chars have been character assassinated - I actually have a Polin who sent me an ask about this! I didn’t forget you - I’m just putting tgt a list of positive rep for you anon so hang in there <3. Also there is ONE rare person I’ve talked to who does critically engage with Show Pen so they’re okay - I just wish they would be more confrontational with their fandom tho.]

Back to you Benophie Anon: Your last line made me LAUGH OUT LOUD and LOUDER FOR THE RACISTS AT THE BACK:

They're already getting their season a year early,... enjoy the content you get instead of constantly rubbing it in our face. *god* their egos have inflated to the size of a bounce house lately.

Check yourselves @ you-know-whos!! Another season why we don’t like you, no one likes gloater and we get it Production Loves You so just stay in your corner! Leave us the fuck alone and stop being so self-righteous and trying to make your ship Kathony 2.0, they’ll never be Lord and Lady Bridgerton. Only Mr. and Miss for you.

Anyways last thing: @ both anons who sent in their asks if you’re anti-racist/homophobia/sexist Benophies who don’t send doxxing threats, please hit up my friends Belle aka sophiamariabeckett and Michaela aka minim236 they need more sane Benophie mutuals/friends! We’re tired of finding out some Benophies here and/or Twitters are secret racists or homophobes [this ask got long so I’ll put the red flags in the comments]

#Bridgerton #Ik I said I'd stop tagging Bridgerton but I am in a petty mood kdjhkad #Also anons are off and most of them are cowards to actually comment on my posts #The Bee Show #Any follow up asks you guys are dying to send - you can send off anon and ask to be anon 👍#Bridgerton Asks #The Viscountess Answers

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beyoncesdancers · 9 months

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My (Review? lmao) Thoughts about The RENAISSANCE World Tour That No One Asked For

BITCH I WAS NOT OMFGGGGG

I am SO glad I stayed away from clips of the show (for the most part lol) truly made the experience extremely special. like this is really my GOAT. THEE GOAT. And I got to witness her live and in person for a second time. I'm sooooo grateful and hopefully I'll have another opprotunity.

BUT WE ALREADY KNOW SHE'S THAT GWORL SO IMMA FOCUS ON THE DANCERS!

Amari Marshall is a fucking STAR. That's all I could think whenever I saw her. Stage presense on 100000. She's impactful.

Les Twins were utilized very well! I haven't seen them dance much since i hung up my fangirl cape, lol, but their dancing felt soooo familiar and I really enjoyed them 🥰

DANCE CAPTAIN HANNAH DLAINE! Y'all like to try my girl, but I loved everything she was doing on that stage. She may look diferent next to other dancers, but those lines, technique, elegance, that CLEAN look makes her great and Bey's fave 🤭

Simone showed up and showed out for her hometown! Definitely took notice of that. Ai, Alannah, and Brianna really held it down like the OGs they are. Kyndall may be the baby on tour, but she definitely rises to the occasion! love ha. Trinity is so radiant! Truly. This is her first big gig and she's definitely not taking it for granted. a PROFESSIONAL. Lisa, Nerita, ans Aakilah are all sooooo STUNNING? Truly shook looking at the three of them. Ms. Aliyah Janell doeeeeees thiiiiiiiiis lmao she was eating it up!

The boys, Rob, Zavion, Jus, Konkrete held it dooooown. They were utiilzed so well, especially in comparison to the boys on OTR2, no shade chile 🙃

Darius is also VERY STUNNING. FACE. CARD. and he can dance his ass off some ppl really have it all 😌. I loooved watching Carlos lmao idk what is was but i always found him whenever he was on stage 💕💕💕 And Jonté! Male Beyoncé himself! an undeniable talent.

and a special shoutout to Cha Cha Balenciaga! ate that ball right on up!

BLUE IVY THEE CARTER. That is all.

As for the choreography, I love the direction Fatima took it in. I know there's been criticism over how much Bey is dancing, but I think its the perfect balance of dance and vocals. I don't feel like I'm missing anything. the choreo matches the vibe of the album, of the era perfectly.

MOVE is my fave choreo at the moment, but now that I can watch clips lmao, that might change! I just cant get that Move Your Body Girl/Free Mind mashup out of my head 😌

This was just me writing down my thoughts so I’ll always be able to go back and reminisce on how I felt. If you read this whole thing, just know...

I love you deep deep deep deep 🥰🥰🥰

#rwt #renaissance world tour

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powerfultenderness · 1 year

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I posted 4,278 times in 2022

That's 2,561 more posts than 2021!

562 posts created (13%)

3,716 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@just-an-adventurer

@appleblonde18

@chemmerson

@tealcat001

@captain-icicle

I tagged 1,778 of my posts in 2022

#freddie stroma - 222 posts

#vigilante - 173 posts

#adrian chase - 166 posts

#when i cant write or sleep - 141 posts

#i make mediocre gifs - 124 posts

#adrian chase x reader - 99 posts

#vigilante x reader - 97 posts

#freddie stroma is too powerful - 82 posts

#time after time - 75 posts

#fic rec - 63 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#i'd just waddle around being cute and getting free food from suckers until i was sleepy then take a nap and do it all over again

My Top Posts in 2022:

Armwrestling

Rated: Mature

Pairing: Reader(F)/Vigilante

Summary: There has to be a way to determine who the second strongest member of the team is!

Warnings: Just some smooching

Word Count: 2650

A/N: 💪

[Masterlist]

[Line Divider]

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263 notes - Posted July 27, 2022

Dare

Rated: T+

Pairing: gn!Reader/Adrian Chase

Summary: Inspired by [this post ]: “What would you do if your fave was dared to kiss the prettiest person in the room and without missing a beat they came to you?”

Warnings: Some smooching.

Word Count: 2553

A/N: Big shout out and thanks to @pretendfan for helping bounce ideas around and for encouraging me after I got critically hit with impostor syndrome while writing this. ❤

[Masterlist]

[Line Divider]

See the full post

277 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

He's totally NOT my pretend boyfriend.

Notes: typed this up on my phone during lunch. Will fix formatting when I get home. Fake dating with Adrian Chase/Vigilante.

Word count: 576

[Part 2]

Adrian walked into the office, slightly confused as to where everyone else was. You were the only one in, and you were on the phone. You were hunched over, pinching your nose with one hand, and heaved out a heavy sigh. "No, mom. I don't want to meet your neighbor's son."

Yea, even he could tell this was not a phone call to interrupt, so he sat down and started to clean one of his guns. "Because. Because I already have a boyfriend…no I'm not lying to you!" Adrian raised a brow, he'd thought the two of you got along really well and he never heard you mention a boyfriend in all the times the two of you hung out. "Yes it is serious! I've just, we've, just been so busy with work that I haven't had time to tell you." He felt himself frowning and did his best to keep up his neutral face. Chris knew, and maybe Adebayo knew, that Adrian might have had a little bit of a tiny crush on you. "Yes, we work together. He's a freelancer though." Well now he was just confused! You were dating someone at work? There were only four men on the team: him, Chris, John and Murn. But a freelancer? Murn and John were definitely with the government. Which left him and Chris. Were you…? Were you dating Chris? He lost his concentration on his weapon and one of the springs jumped out of his hands. He cursed and crawled on the floor to look for the missing small piece. "You good, bruh?" You whispered to him, holding the phone away from your ear. He could faintly hear your mother's voice on the other end. Adrian pushed his glasses up and gave you a thumbs up and a nod. You stared at him skeptically for a moment but were drawn back to your personal drama. "He's great, mom." You sighed with a roll of your eyes. "Uh, what's he like? He's uhm, really sweet. And funny. And cute." He found his missing piece and turned back to the desk, glad to have an excuse not to watch you rhapsodize about his best friend. "What's his name? You want to know his name?...Of course he has a name. His name is, uh, his name is Adrian!" Adrian spun around so quickly he was certain he gave himself whiplash. "Me?!" He pointed at himself, big eyes blinking rapidly as he tried to process what he just heard. You shook your head and waved a hand at him, "don't worry about it." You whispered. He was still staring at you when panic filled your face. Your eyebrows shot up as your eyes widened, your mouth dropped and you snapped a hand over your mouth to muffle a squeak. "Whatdoyoumeanyou'regonnabehereFriday?!...ahem, no, no, mom. It's too soon to introduce him to my family, it'll scare him away!...yea…yea I did say it was serious…" You started tapping your foot from sudden nervous energy as you continued to listen to your mom. "Yea. OK. We'll, we'll meet you Friday. Bye bye, love you too." You hung up and let out a silent scream. "Ooh fuck! Fuckfuckfuckfuck!" You jumped up and started pacing, shaking your hands and repeating yourself over and over. You didn't stop until Adrian called your name. You sucked in a breath and tried your best to smile sweetly. "Adriannnn. Uhm, can I ask you a favor?"

302 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

Uh-oh

Summary: As the unmasked Vigilante tied you up with gauze, you came to the shocking and rather embarrassing realization that it’s not fear that you’re feeling, but arousal. You try to keep your voice down, hoping your coworkers don’t notice you discovering a new kink.

Pairing: Reader/Vigilante

Warnings: Kink discovery (is that a thing?)

Word Count: 903

[Masterlist][Ao3]

As the unmasked Vigilante tied you up with gauze, you came to the shocking and rather embarrassing realization that it’s not fear that you’re feeling, but arousal. As if sensing the intensity of your stare, he pauses and looks up at you.

“Is this ok?”

This maniac was just contemplating killing you and your coworkers but was now worried about whether he was tying your restraints too tightly? It was..sweet, in a way…maybe? Oh boy.

You gulped, “You should probably…tie them tighter…”

His brows scrunch up in confusion behind those wire framed glasses you’re not sure if you like or not, they fit him well, oddly enough, but you’d rather there be no barrier in front of those pretty green eyes.

“I mean, if you don’t want me getting out too soon.”

You try to keep your voice down, hoping your coworkers don’t notice you discovering a new kink.

“Oh! Right!” He responds and tightens one of the makeshift ropes around your ankle, causing you to bite back an excited squeak.

Uh-oh. This was…not good.

You’d been working so many hours lately, that you hadn’t had time to go grocery shopping. Yesterday you resorted to a dinner of peanut butter and jelly on a spoon. The bread aisle was definitely where you were going to start when you finally got around to shopping.

So it was that you found yourself freaking out at a diner as you looked at the busboy in the back before ducking your head behind a menu and repeating the action several times.

“You’re a fucking busboy!” “Oh, great! Now we definitely have to kill them, because you’re giving away stuff about my secret identity!”

Yea, that was definitely him. As if you could ever forget the man that’s been haunting your thoughts for weeks now.

When the waitress arrives you order the first thing you see, not really interested in eating anymore.

“Hey, uhm. Do you know his deal?” You ask her, trying to be subtle with a toss of your head in his direction. “Does he have like, a girlfriend? Or boyfriend maybe?”

She raises a brow at you, “Who Adrian?” Aw, what a nice name.

Then she smiles. “I don’t know. Why, someone have a little crush?”

“Yeaaa, I’m just trying to decide if I should try to talk to him orrr…” You let out an embarrassed laugh.

“I’ll send him over to refill your water.” She says with a wink before walking away to put your order in.

You’ve never slurped down water faster.

A few minutes later you bury your face in your hands, wondering just what the hell you were thinking! You should have turned around and walked right out the second you noticed him! What did you even want him to do? Tie you up again? Well…yes. But then what? Actually, your mind could conjure up a few ideas of wh-

“Hi there! Refill?”

A cheery voice startles you from your thoughts, causing you to jump slightly in your seat.

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413 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Proof

Summary: When a stranger claiming to be your ex not-quite boyfriend breaks into your home, you have no choice to ask for proof of who he is. “You heard me. I mean, I’ve never seen his face, but I’ve seen him without a shirt plenty of times. Now. Take. It. Off.”

Rated: Mature

Pairing: gn!Reader/Vigilante

Warnings: Sexual situations. Partial nudity (on Vigilante’s part). Slight dub con.

Word Count: 3565

A/N: It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I’m sorry if it’s too much.

[Masterlist]

Adrian couldn’t think straight. His mind addled from too much alcohol and too many thoughts, emotions he wasn’t even sure what to do with. The night had been going well enough. He was just hanging out with his bff and talking about the best sex he’d ever had when Chris stopped him and asked one little question.

“Then why did you break up?”

Why? Why? Because he was the Vigilante! He couldn’t be in a relationship. His enemies could find out. He could endanger you. And that was the last thing he ever wanted! Therefore, it made sense to break up!

And then Chris asked one more question and it sent him spiraling: Did he still think about you? Of course he did! He thought about you often. He thought about you every time he saw that commercial you always danced and hummed to! He thought about you every time he brought home food from Fennel Fields.

“Dude.” You laughed one night after he set another to-go bag on your table. “You either work there, or you know someone who does!” “No I don’t!”

He even still thought about you when he jacked off.

And then Chris didn’t believe that he was the one to break up with you! But he was! Sort of. You’d given him an ultimatum: He either reveal his secret identity and commit fully to the relationship, or leave. And he left and. Well, actually. He often went back to your place. But it was just to check up on you! To make sure you were safe! And those questionably recent pictures of you on his phone weren’t creepy! He just missed you!

He missed you.

Next thing he knew, he found himself stumbling around your front yard as he looked for the false rock that hid your spare house key. Back when you were, well dating wasn’t the right word, back when you were together, he’d told you to move the key to a less obvious hiding spot, but you never did. And sure enough on his third try, he found the hollow rock with a key taped to the underside.

Out of habit he never quite lost, he slipped off his shoes and set them neatly in place on the shoe rack in the entryway. He didn’t need to flip on any lights as memory led him down the hall to the master bedroom. He wasn’t surprised when the door started to squeak and he pushed past it quickly, knowing that slowly opening the door would just draw out the sound. You always said you’d oil that hinge later. It looked like later never came.

Everything felt so familiar, the plush carpeting cushioning his feet, the low drone of the box fan in the corner of the room, and the comforting scent of your favorite candle fairly recently blown out. Even, or perhaps especially, heartwarming and familiar was the sight of you sleeping to one side of the bed, like even after nearly a year you were still leaving a spot for him. He took a moment to appreciate you, the filtering moonlight seeping through the window his only light and yet he could still see every detail of you, everything he missed. And it was all too much.

Without thinking, he climbed into bed with you, just like he used to, and wrapped an arm around you, just like he used to.

You stirred awake, shifting slightly at the unexpected weight and warmth that enveloped you. “Hmm? Vigi-” He smiled, hearing you say his name again after so long, “laAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!”

You screamed and jumped out of bed, landing with an ungraceful thud as you’d been caught up in the blankets. You were still screaming as you flailed around and fumbled to pull yourself up by the nightstand. You managed to turn on the bedside lamp as he heard the pull of the wooden drawer on the nightstand.

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” He was trying to get your attention, to calm you down, but you turned back to the bed holding a handgun in both hands pointed directly at him. He froze.

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!”

He tried to calm you down again, this time by calling your name gently but sternly, and slowly got off of the bed. “HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!”

You took a couple of steps back from the bed, putting some distance between you and him, which now that it was happening, he realized it made sense for you to think of him as a stranger.

“I’m warning you! I know the Vigilante and he will kill you if I tell him to!”

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522 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #this year i had a one track mind #it's basically all vig and/or freddie

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seraphofthesimps · 2 years

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Hi!! I’ve just started reading hot mess on your blog, I was wondering if you had any plans to finish it? It’s really good and I’m enjoying myself hehe 🥰

I want to so bad. I plan to. I just don't know exactly when. i'm the slowest writer ever in general I swear bc I have to write on what I'm feeling at the moment or I just cant pay attention to it and get it done. That fic is hands down one of my fave things I have ever worked on, and I have so much in my drafts I haven't posted yet because I'm still connecting the pieces on it. I've cried multiple times while writing some of it because I was just that in touch with it. But lately I haven't been. I work full time and on top of it I haven't been in a huge Haikyuu mood for a bit, especially Akaashi. Maybe I need to rewatch it to remind myself how much I love it. And I feel like I need to re-edit some of what I have already wrote and posted. I'm pretty sure it was children and stand by myself completely when I say I did nothing wrong writing it, but there's a few parts I got criticized on because people took what I said at face value and didnt think any deeper about the actual context of the story, and now that part gives me anxiety sometimes thinking about it. And then I also feel like I need to redo the SMAU-ish parts a little bc I now I feel like I could see some people getting upset about the pics in it too. I love that story so much but theres so much about it I need to learn to fall back in love with 😭 I promise I'll try though, maybe I can edit it and post it on this blog instead as I do to get back into the swing of it. I just don't know for sure how fast I can get it done, but one day for sure 🥺♡ Thank you so much for reading it though! It completely made my day to hear someone still loves it.

#bye i think im actually about to go read it right now #i like to think I've grown in my writing since it and maybe i can fix it easier than i thought #im just rambling on now im sorry but jahsdkjhaskdj im gonna try so hard

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harry-sussex · 3 years

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1 I don’t think you must have loved harry as much as you say you do if you’d rather have him keep quiet and go back to a place where he has now directly told the public he was unhappy in and where it was some of the worst years of his life. He BEEN saying it and you just don’t want to listen because you’re attached to this image of the brf you have in ur head lol. It’s not a perfect family and they used harry as a scapegoat since he was born. Due to his good nature and to the fact that he’s

2 the good guy we know him to be he tried to stay and make it work but when his family backstabbed him and his new wife he’s more than entitled to walk away. Like seriously. And realize what kind of person William is please because it’s getting weird. Harry doesnt have to do anything for William and Kate specially since they are grown adults who benefited and instigated some of the hate against meghan.

3 I’m glad harry is safe and happy now and I don’t get how you can talk about him like this now just because he’s bursting your fairytale ideas? But ur a fan? Alright sure. This is a real family and not a family out of a storybook. If you like him only when hes playing jester in that palace but cant like and respect him now for healing himself and correcting all the lies those ppl told about him then simply drop henry if he no longer fits into the delusions. I am proud of him.

I’m not entirely sure how you could possibly suggest that I didn’t love Harry as much as I thought I did (still do). I mean, I got on a plane by myself and flew 3,500 miles one way to go to his wedding. Bet you’re new around here so you didn’t know that, though. I’m proud of him for doing what’s right for him - even if I hate what it came to, which I did, do, and will forever. I can be proud and also criticize the way he went about it, the way he continues to go about it. You should be able to do the same.

I look at Harry from a nuanced and complicated point of view. He is no saint. He is not above being wrong. Not entirely sure how you could come here, believe every tabloid ever written about William, Kate, Charles, HM, etc. and simultaneously say that he’s been used as a scapegoat, that he’s been backstabbed, that he spent his whole life playing jester in a palace - tabloid fodder in and of itself. You either believe it all or you don’t. The tabloids are the tabloids and if you’re going to assume that they’re all incorrect attacks on your fave then you have to assume that they’re all incorrect attacks on your least fave. You have to believe that Harry’s escaped the tower while believing that William desperately tried to help and protect his only brother and bring Meghan into the family. You have to believe that Harry has insulted/disrespected the Queen and abandoned Sentebale and the children he vowed to support forever and was jealous of his nephews and niece and also believe that William cheated on Kate with Rose, that he’s the kind of person you think he is. You have to believe either that Harry is the person you think he is and William is not or believe that Harry is not the person you think he is and William is. The tabloids you yourself are quoting in this message are your only source - you can’t deem them credible and false in the same breath. You can’t pick which tabloid fodder to believe based on whether or not it makes your fave look good. It’s all the same bullshit across the board, and you have to realize that. Otherwise, you kind of sound like an idiot, which is what’s going on in this message.

You say that I see him as a caricature, that I see him as a pawn in a game that I thought I controlled, that I do not believe he is a human being with thoughts and feelings and perception and nuance. And yet here you are, putting him on a pedestal that no real human being deserves, because real people are flawed and wonderful and cruel and kind and everything in between - Harry included. I see him as a person - same as you and me, even with the title and the money and the influence and the power. I see him as best as I can for what he is, flawed and wonderful and cruel and kind. You’re the one that views him as a caricature, one-dimensional and infallible and blameless, the same way that you see William and Kate as caricatures, one-dimensional and ruthless and unredeemable.

My words - especially my criticisms - prove that I see him - and the rest of them - as complicated, multi-faced and multi-dimensional, who are neither fully perfect nor fully imperfect, who have pros and cons to their person the way that you and I do. Being able to recognize that he is flawed, multi-dimensional, a real human being is the best and only way to prove that you care about him, that you want him to be happy and safe and comfortable in his life, whatever it looks like. Putting Harry on this infallible pedestal and tossing the rest of them to the side, like he’s a damsel in distress, Cinderella-type tortured hero taking his life back while the rest of the family are Cruella de Ville, the evil stepmother is turning the very real lives of Prince Harry and the British Royal Family into nothing but a sitcom, a cartoon, a Disney movie. Nothing but a story for children. Nothing but a set of characters. This point of view does him a disservice. He deserves better from his fans, his admirers, from you. He is a human being, and he deserves better.

He’s no damsel in distress and the family is no evil trap keeping him hostage until his knight in shining armor broke him free. That rhetoric pigeonholes them all into caricatures. You can’t do that and then accuse me of doing so while I’ve been doing the opposite and have since the very first day I posted on this blog more than seven years ago. You’re not making any sense - every word of the message you just sent me is a contradiction in and of itself. Like I said earlier, doing so makes you sound like an idiot.

#Ask #Anonymous #prince harry #duke of sussex #Don’t try me lol #You’ll lose every time #phmemoir

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kazbrekkerrs-remade · 4 years

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ekrjhak i lov eu and to further enable you: ur thoughts on blue, gansey, ronan and adam and henry? and their group dynamic????? 👀👀👀

Wow this took me ages sorry dfjfhd. Claire... u enable me too much these are my onions <3. Under a cut because I went. overboard :3. I’m probably going to have to shorten this I don’t know if tumblr will even let me post something this long dkshjfhg. (Also I wrote half of this in word so if there’s proper capitalization in places that’s why, don’t let it cloud my image as a cool, laid-back bitch that doesn’t care for grammar.)

i’m starting individually then moving onto group dynamics heh

blue i like blue but it did take a bit of growing on me djjdjhjss. i like her a lot bc i relate to her a lot, but i do think there was a lot of room for improvement. she said she wanted to see the world and make it better but how exactly.. is that a roadtrip? i mean i guess it’s a start in a way, but i think it would’ve been much better if we saw her join an activist organization.. volunteer for a non-profit or something. Also her misguided feminism ah! But I can be a bit more lenient with that bc she was still very young when the series ended so. Also she was revealed to be part tree and then like. Nothing substantial came of it? idk

Ganseyboy! I have to be honest my.. fave uwu. There is a Lot of room for improvement but I just. Optimist!! insecurities :( also he KNEW he was gonna d*e I’m. sad. Anyway like I said a lot of room for improvement as in like.. not everything is about you king <3 also he needs more… idk I don’t wanna say empathy bc i think that’s something different but like. He needs to realise that what he thinks is best isn’t gonna be the way everyone deals with something, if that makes sense? Like basically the “how do you know what’s good for me?” “THAT’S MY OPINIOOONNNNN!!” vine. THAT SAID I love him so much.. he held up the mouse to his face! And smiled!! mon dieu.. when he made bird jokes to make adam laugh… “am I in your dreams?” AH! In a way, blue and gansey are sons of the same gun: I love them both but there could be more done with them tbh. But I have a lot of fun with Fansey, a.k.a: fatima gansey. Kind of like fanon gansey except no one’s opinion matters besides mine <3 (basically it’s the *aggressively kicks off shoes* “yee haw”, parts of gansey, and then me giving him the arc he deserves) maybe we could sum it up to “ma’am that’s my emotional support projection character” but like. That’s my business.

ADAM! Previous endorsements include: “might fuck around and become an adam parrish stan account.” “I’ve only had adam for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.” “I go :D whenever I see it’s an adam chapter” (these are more or less verbatim from my previous posts.) that said, I don’t have many fully formed thoughts because I uhhh don’t remember the books that well and also I repress the adam chapters bc they hit too close oops :). tbh I don’t have many complaints at all heh. That’s not to say he doesn’t have flaws but a) I will excuse them because he’s justified, adam does anything problematique and I’m like he can have a little murder. As a treat. and b) I genuinely loved his arc so. No complaints for real!! Also.. adam realising he is capable of loving and being loved…. *kermit meme* I have nearly teared up while writing this. :( one more half baked thought: trc having being “known” as a mark of being loved but then adam being like “i am unknowable” and then there was a moment of him with ronan like “how foolish of him to think he was unknowable”.... *kermit hearts meme intensifies*

RONAN O CLOCK to be honest. I. don’t have any meta or complaints I just love him. I love him a LOT okay.. very much. Big love. Sharp edges tough guy but he names his dream animals chainsaw and gasoline and has a pooping blanket for chainsaw… I can’t remember the quote but that but in cdth where he was like the point is dreamer or not if people are going to get hurt I’m going to stop it… Much to think about. HIS GROWTH. IN THE DREAM THIEVES wow can you believe I read him in TRB and was like ‘I don’t care for him’ ddhfjdhf and then in the dream thieves I’m like.. I have rescinded all previous callouts of ronan lynch. Oops. HE LOVES HIS FRIENDS SO MUCH oh my gosh. Ronan just… he has so much range for feeling!! he feels so much!!! I love that about him so much omg

Henry. Ah. This is where we get kind of controversial jdhjdfh I’m sorry but. I’m going to be honest I like him well enough as a character but I don’t care for him much I’m sorry I just. It’s because he was introduced so late. And only became an important character towards like.. the last half of TRK? I mean, I’d have loved him if he was introduced earlier, hell at least have him come into play in BLLB. The issues I have with him isn’t because of anything about him as a character though, I think it’s all about the way he was handled. I think because he came in so late, there just wasn’t enough time to do justice to the depth that he had, or give him an arc or anything, or enough time to connect with him. Also a part of me feels like he was in there just to kind of tie up Blue and Gansey’s stories and give them something to do after the end of TRK (which sucks because like… making your only canon POC being primarily to develop/give your white characters storylines… (blue isn’t white in my mind but like she was written “colorblind” and when that happens it usually means the author viewed them as white at least in the beginning jhfhgfj. but i don’t remember it too well so if i’m wrong lmk please!)). But probably my biggest problem is: I couldn’t help get the vibe that MS was facing criticism for the lack of diversity and so decided to bring in an asian character. Like, I feel that way bc he came in so late, and because of that he was so half-baked I’m.. gah. GAH. That’s unfair maybe henry is a cool dude hdhfg but I just can’t warm up to him because of this :/

Group dynamics!! With the gangsey I have to *sobs* I love them so much I’m.. what a strange constellation they all were <3

blue and ronan!! BROnan amirite… omg. That moment when blue nearly slips and ronan immediately catches n holds on to her… she would have to remember that :( sons of the same gun. Best friends!

Blue and adam.. gah. As friends it really goes hard. Get you someone who will stab you if you fall too deep into the nether-realm <3 but uhh. As dates. YIKES. Blue really just. Kissed noah while dating him. And didn’t even think for a second “I have a bf” :( not very cool of her to tell gansey about the kiss curse but not telling adam which I mean, I know that happened to show that they weren’t a good match but. Still yikes. Blue was lowkey cheating on adam the whole time during tdt huh :( also bro I am number one stan of the “I wish you could be kissed jane” scene but it happened literally RIGHT AFTER she broke up with adam I’m. relax <3. I wish that was kind of addressed but meh, overall it doesn’t bother me too much. I think they’re great friends :)

Ronan and adam… I can’t talk about it too much. I really can’t!! I really really can’t! the fact that adam goes to gansey like what is love and gansey is like she makes me quiet… and then adam is like “he was so still inside”.. :( omg the bit during trb when ronan is going on a swearing tirade and adam is like “they didn’t start making the civic until ‘73 <3” what a JACKASS I love him. Second secret!! --okay! Wait I have to say: while this one is not really a big deal compared to all their other moments, my favourite quote is “ and he realised that while he’d been looking at ronan, ronan had been looking at him” :uwu face:

Blue and gansey: :3 :33333 maybe it’s the muslim but I really like the tragedy of not being able to kiss :( I would beg just one off you! Under all this! Maybe I’m crying because of the inherent romantic-ness of the night sky with all its stars and late night drives :( wow I love them. Also i know most people find it annoying but I personally love the “I’m never gonna fall for this person” *fast forward to getting to know each other* “ahahah. :) I have rescinded all callouts of ____. she is now my girlfriend (long story)” (not to be confused with enemies to lovers <3 (not to be confused with enemies to friends to lovers <3)) also they can kiss now thank you very much.

Okay I will just preface this with: gansey’s relationships with both ronan and adam have the “how do you know what’s good for me” element to them so I don’t have to address it later hdfgjlfj but bro they love each other so much I’m… “dream me the world… something new for ever night” you’re leaving for TWO DAYS.. gansey gave up monmouth omg what became of that I really forgot khffhk did he get it back. I don’t even need to elaborate on ronan, “ronan would do anything for gansey” :(

ADAM AND GANSEY I been WAITNG for this one! Turn it up! Bro if you saw the whole face I made when I realised it was time for this kdhfhfkhu this is so loaded despite the fact that I cant articulate it <3 the.. idk what to call them. Parallels? Foils? I didn’t take lit sorry but he RANGE we could have had there… remember when gansey was shocked in trk bc :0 you guys came with me and also “they had run for him”. bro their whole relationship had so much. Tension because of their different backgrounds and fundamentally different outlooks because of their backgrounds, and I think if we had seen them properly connect then both of them could have grown from that. I know we see adam understanding gansey a bit better I don’t remember when that happened but I know it did at some point hhdsf but gansey.. never does! Huff and puff. It’s really so FRUSTRATING to me bc that could have key development for gansey but also for adam and gansey’s relationship. And also I feel like we didn’t.. see them try either? Which is so frustrating like idk if it’s a fault on stiefvater’s part or just with YA lit in general that platonic relationships are kind of ignored. Or maybe it’s because idk I remember ms saying she had a lot of issues while writing trk.. but still. We could have really had it all but instead I have to live with “don’t break him adam” I’m (: ok but now I must lighten the mood hjsdhf so might I add: when one of them sees the principal in his crazy funky junky hat and goes “yee haw”… when gansey is like :DDD hey ADAM guess WHAT and adam is like ? and gansey is like oh it was a fully casual problem with the ALTERNATOR of my car of COURSE it was the alternator, it was really simple and I fixed it with much ease :D and adam is like :’D felt like the had hatched a baby bird.. my uwus. ADAM! give me an idea! ALSO if anyone will allow me to venture into adansey territory…. the fact that adam is cabeswater’s magician and gansey now.. is cabeswater in a way. MUCH to think about. I still spend a lot of time thinking about the dryad au the problem is I have never been to progress past the “vague concept” stage of stories and this is why I don’t write dhfjhfdhf. But yes. I think about it often :3

i also like the henry with the gang, i think it could work really well but once again it wasn’t given the time for me to really see it :( also. ronan being racist. and adam laughing along with that. why was that included, ms turn on your location i just wanna talk

okay once again thank you for enabling me claire and i’m so sorry for this monster dsjkhfjkdhg

#aha. am i more than you bargained for yet <3 #claire tag #asks #mutuals #anyway if for some reason you ever wanted a comprehensive guide on my thoughts on the trc characters here it is <3 #though it's not really comprehensive kjhdsjkhfg #when i reread trc. and remember it this time. then you will know #anyway this took me three weeks sdhfkjdfh sorry

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acemenagerie-a · 3 years

Note

12, 26, 28 for elias, perhaps?

peek inside... || ACCEPTING

12. frequently used emojis.

Elias actually doesn’t use emojis that much! While emojis are easier for him to receive because of screen readers and their associated alt text, he’s never gotten into using them himself. He's more familiar with ASCII emoticons and has a habit of dictating those over emojis. But on that note:

1 - :-) 2 - :-D 3 - :-p 4 - :-o 5 - :-(

He also tends to picture emoticons rather than something closer to a smiley when receiving smiley emojis. So like ‘face with tears of joy’ would be closer to :’-) or :’-D than 😂 or an actual smiling person in Elias’s head.

26. most used playlist.

oops i made a jam playlist elias would make ( i’d recommend shuffling but i cant tell u want to do )

It is a lot of classic rock, some stuff with a humorous tint to it. It’s definitely a more upbeat, ‘dance in your underwear’ sort of playlist with a few songs that lowkey would hit him weird if he listened to the lyrics too closely.

Some of it is late-70s so stuff he may have heard as a kid, some is 80-90s so more stuff he’d have been into at the time. A few are from after the bodysnatch, but he’s allowed to “catch-up” on music and see what his fave artists had been up to or just listen to new things. He’s not a fan of most modern radio hits. The other sorts of songs I imagine him liking are more like... This Playlist Is To Have A Breakdown To

Yes, he may have had a few breakdowns listening to ‘If It Makes You Happy’ but he just loves him some Sheryl Crow normally too.

28. five most recent sent text messages

[ ✉ ➡ Oliver Banks ] I just remembered all those ads that bastard happened to see about Star Wars [ ✉ ➡ Oliver Banks ] I think I remember critic buzz being bad? Of all the shit he spied on, couldn’t keep up with modern media worth shit [ ✉ ➡ Oliver Banks ] I told you about that creepy reality show he was into yeah? [ ✉ ➡ Oliver Banks ] Anyway what I’m saying is that I don’t care about critics there are 2 whole new Star Wars trilogies and I want to see them! :-D [ ✉ ➡ Oliver Banks ] Do you want to have a movie night? I’ll make dinner ;-)

#(( bc u sent it the texts are tailored to oliver hdsjgfjhsgdfjhsdgf ))#ace the helpful place | ooc #ic; pot smoking good for nothing | elias bouchard #v { elias }; years forever lost | after coming back #v { elias }; how could i ever forget | conscious while possessed #university gave you a paper | elias headcanons #taste of truth | answered ask #auspicium

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weeb-writings · 4 years

Text

alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases

a certain groupchat im in with so many beautiful people has brought this idea to my attention. most definitely something i canon abt the two siblings now, i totally see it.

special thanks to: @sarido275 for this idea!! i love this so much and i hope this meets your expectations-

warnings: swearing, a fight btwn siblings, also this is relatively long for a hc so brace yourself

genre: crack, fluff, angst? if you squint-

synopsis: lev’s (gorgeoues, beautiful, pretty, amazing, cute) sister, alisa, teaches lev russian phrases... except its all backwards...

i used a couple websites: a b

a/n: im writing a longer oneshot (haechan x reader) so this is something ive been working on, on the side. i hope you like whatever the frick frack this is-

if you have any requests, shoot them in my dms or ask box! if you have any constructive criticism, let me know what i can fix and how! thank you uwu

*breathes* okay, this is straight up crack, like

i literally see this happening btwn the two siblings, where lev’s sister alisa ends up teaching lev russian phrases with the incorrect translations

she’s such a sweetie pie i dont see her intentionally teaching lev the incorrect translations for stuff- so yes,

with the power of google and tumblr i present to you: lev walking around like an idiot :) (i love him v much tho and hes baby all the way)

okay lets start with the “basics”

first off is хуй (pronounced: hooy), and it means dick

omg i what am i writing

okay so like, yaku probably does something nice for alisa (meaning he puts lev in check bc lev is stoopid)

and alisa decides to thank him like “you have such a big hooy yaku~~”

and everyone on nekomas vbc team looks at the two siblings like ????? what did she just say

and lev looks at her and she goes “hooy means heart!!”

omfg not only lev, but all of nekoma is using this word now and its so bad bc they all say it so confidently whose gonna tell them-

and like, whenever someone does anything remotely nice lev will tell them that they “have such a big hooy” and that they are so kind and that he appreciates them

which ultimately, this term rubs off on karasuno and fukorodani (specifically hinata and bokuto)

quite literally a term that spreads like wildfire and they all use it so mindlessly eye-

okay, next term: Трахни тебя (pronounced: poshyol ty), and it means: fuck you (omg i hate writing swears bc lev is involved and he is BABY I CANNOT-)

okay but alisa and lev are most likely parting ways early in the morning, and he is going to a summer week camp for vb practice (w the boys ayyy) omg i hate myself so much

but like, she probably wants to say something along the lines of “i love you” but she ends up saying fuck you (dw, i checked and its the aggresive kind, no not the kinky aggresive just straight up like a screw you) pls i hate that im making this more awkward by the second

okay but like, hes probably leaving in the morning and shes like “poshyol ty” and he kind turns back, confused look on his face

and hes like “whats that mean????” and shes like, with a bright smile, “it means I LOVE YOU” and he repeats it a few times

and this poor bby uses this ALL the mcfreaking time now

yaku is abt to kick him? “pls stop poshyol ty”

kuroo wants to give him shit for sucking at blocking? “im sorry but dont forget poshyol ty”

omg KENMA WHEN HES MAD “kenma im so sorry youre the best pls poshyol ty”

so it probably circulates around the team, and by now all of the nekoma vbc are using this on one another ALL the time

again, its something picked up by other teams

i.e: bokuto to akaashi, hinata to kags, and it even reaches oikawa, who uses it on iwa, satori to ushijima (bye these r ships)

but finally, poor alisa thought that by saying Отыебис от меныа (pronounced: otyebis ot menya) she was saying “your presence is nice” but in reality she was saying “get the fuck away from me”

omg pls this is so terrible someone tell her-

but like anyways, when she says it so him, its when hes upset bc the whole team is upset at him bc he almost made the team lose

aka putting them at risk for his shitty blocking skills

and hes like “no one likes me, no one wants to be around me”

and alisa is like: “hey, otyebis ot menya, and if its from me, they even appreciate you too :)”

and he asks her to explain the meaning to him and shes like “it means i appreciate your presence”

and so he cheers up, and goes to practice the next day

and he apologises to everyone and then goes, “as much as i suck otyebis ot menya”

like ????? and everyone appreciates it!! like >.< omg i hate this

but in general, another phrase that spreads like wildfire!!

at this point, everyone thinks hes a sweetheart (and dumbass) whos using loving terms with his team and friends!!

now, onto the “swear words”

which, in reality, are words/phrases with positive meanings :(

ah i really hope someone tells everyone wassup w these terms

but, lets start w this beautiful term: Я верю в тебя (pronounced: ya veryu v tebya)

this means: i believe in you (and reader, i believe in you, you can do anything you put your mind as long as it doesnt harm you or anyone)

but anyways, this is probably a term that slips out during a fight btwn the two siblings

is it weird that i cant imagine them fighting often, or at all-

okay anyways, back to the hc

theyre probably fighting about how lev left his dirty laundry in the br after the shower, or how he left his dishes on the dining table and how he isnt necessarily cleaning up after himself

and shes tired of it, so she starts yelling at him

and shes like “oh my god! youre so useless! veryu v tebya”

and he kinda stops saying anything back and stares at her c o n f u s e d

and shes like ?? whatre you looking so lost for

and hes like, what does that mean

and shes like, it means that you arent capable of anything.

so this poor boy thinks that the term “i believe in you” now means “you arent capable of anything”

when kenma, kuroo, and yaku treat him a little meaner on a bad day, he’ll be sure to mumble it under his breathe

when he blocks hinata’s spike, hes sure to yell it out proudly, and everyone kinda is like ????

and so he explains what it means, and

hinata isnt phased by the fact that lev just called him incapable bc poor bby got to learn another russian phrase

and then kenma puts two and two together and realizes what levs been calling him

*insert a mad kenma*

*insert a mad kuroo*

*insert a mad yaku*

okay but srsly the whole nekoma vbc starts using this term to clown lev when he messes up!!

in reality, everyones the clown bc theyre using the wrong term altogether

another term lev would learn from alisa, would be Мой милый ангел (pronounced: moy miliy angel)

and what alisa thinks it means is : you are not an angel/youre a fallen angel/youre the devil

bc like some languages dont have a term for something, so they use another term and then the word not in front of it, so alisa assumes thats what it is

so she just assumes this word is something to call someone a devil or basically imply theyre a bad person

this term slips out from alisa, when someone says a comment about lev during a game,

ooooo lets say the nekoma vs. nohebi game to make it to nationals

and someone says something along the lines of lev being a terrible blocker

from across the court

and out of nowhere

alisa is like “hes better than you! moy miliy angel”

poor bby thought she was defending her brother

okay she was but still-

you know what i mean

but anyways, everyone looks at her

and she just shrugs it off bc she doesnt owe anyone an explanation

but after the game, yaku’s younger sister brings it up in front of them

and she explains to everyone that it means a devil

and theyre all like ??

alisa saying something mean- this is new

but in her defense it was bc she was standing up for her brother

as she should-

but on a real note, lev adopts this term to roast people during plays and makes them confused hehehe their faces r funny bc they get so lost and bam nekoma scores

a term that kageyama adopts

he expands his vocab when hes mad at hinata from boke, to boke and moy miliy angel

tanaka probably uses this term on people who piss him off

imagine him saying it w his buddha face LMAO

but lastly, a term that lev would learn from alisa is Радость моя

this term is pronounced as radost moya

it means “my joy”

so, when alisa is stressing over something (maybe hw, maybe over the fact that lev keeps making a fool of himself in front of yakus sister)

she’s like muttering under her breath,

“this is gonna be the death of me, ugh why is this radost moya“

like LMAO she thinks this term means terrible, or my bad luck

no sweetie its the opposite

its just so funny, lev hears her and she explains the term

so he begins to use it all the time

and i mean ALL THE TIME

when he cant block? radost moya. when someone reminds him that he isnt the ace? radost moya.

so, when bokuto is in emo mode, lev is like radost moya, its just bl (ha if your mind went to boy-) bad luck

and bokuto is immediately out of his emo mode bc he is LEARNING a new term from his fave russian teacher uwu

but again, a term that spreads like wild fire

this is what kags calls hinata, iwa to oikawa, and semi to shirabu

overall, alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases, is lev teaching the whole of anyone who plays volleyball ever incorrect russian phrases

these humans look like straight up clowns

i CaNnOt emphasize how dumb they look-

basically just becomes a crack fest

bonus (kinda-):

lev, kenma, kuroo, tsuki, kags, akaashi, bokuto, yams, and yaku all went to the fish market one day

they all witness kuroo, bokuto, lev and hinata do something stupid with their shared one brain cell

so, naturally, the others flame them in russian

and someone nearby is like

“aww its so sweet you believe them,, your friendship is so cute“

queue the whole crew (ugh i hate that term but its better than squad) turning to look towards lev

and BAM they all start asking this random person for translations on stuff

they all look so shocked and mad and sad

*insert a mad kenma*

*insert tsuki mocking everyone*

just funNy stuff hahahaha

okay imma head out bc wtf did i just write-

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gotatext · 4 years

Text

hllo ! i’m nora ( she / her, 24, gmt ) crawling back to this rp once more like the dirty sewer slug i am !! i just can’t get enough, baybeyyy ! u may remember me frm such roles as alma putnam, rory bergstrom, bridget matusiak or greta o’driscoll 2 name jst a few.... sure there were more over these long years, bt the show must go on.... this is mimi, she’s dogmatic, tenacious n single-minded 2 the point of recklessness, she doesn’t like handouts n she’s funding her degree through her onlyfans account n moaning abt shit on tiktok. we love 2 see it !! slam that like button n i’ll creep into ur DMs like the slippery worm i am OR u can discord me at that bitch carole baskin#8664. a humble pinterest.

『ALEXA DEMIE ❙ CIS-FEMALE 』 ⟿ looks like MIMI MARTÍNEZ is here for HER SOPHOMORE year as an ARCHITECTURE AND SOCIAL ANTHROPOLOGY student. SHE is 22 years old & known to be STRONG-WILLED, GOAL-ORIENTED, ARROGANT & EASILY BORED. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ nora. 24. gmt. she/her.

this is p embarassing but i actually originally wrote mimi for a discord rp based around love island asgjag dont laugh at me but it was so chaotic n someone deleted it w-out telling any of us so i lost her bio.... all her threads....e verythin.... it was mad. but anyway we startin from scratch w this intro so bare with

mimi is a really extra character so when trying to flesh her out i thot of the most extra thing i could do n made a colour coded mindmap with watercolour paints detailing her values, aesthetics and early life. shoot me

background: she grew up in a trailer home in boulder city, abt half an hour from vegas. her mom had worked in a vegas casino for most of her 20s but relocated to boulder city for a slower pace of life / lower crime rate when she started having kids. mimi has 2 older brothers n she’s the youngest. has that invulnerable younger sibling complex n basically thinks nothing can touch her. very confident in her own intelligence and her ability to get shit done

has mexican ancestry on her mom’s side. doesn’t know her dad. was raised with spanish catholic principals n found it all very stained glass windows and extra n that’s why she was kinda drawn to the decadence of vegas and all these massively high key aesthetics, like dia de les muertos was her fave thing growin up just bcos the pure feel of the festival and painting a sugar skull on her face n being able to party on the streets in a flower crown where everyone was kinda anonymous but together in this celebration

in boulder city her mom worked as a carer as there’s a lot of retirees there. mimi really resented the slow pace of life, longed for some fucking energy n life. she was a cheerleader in school but outside of school there wsn’t much to do except practise stunts and go on bike rides. occasionally they’d get dressed up and catch a bus to henderson, the next biggest city for them to get tht sweet night life

her teenage years consisted mostly of hanging around the renovated motel blocks used as housing projects n tanning by the pool. very florida project if you’ve seen that. she reminds me a lot of the mum in that. also she started working as an avon rep going door-to-door when she was 16 bcos she wanted to have her own income. like as young as 14 she’d decided she was smart enough to go to college but she didn’t have the money n her family didn’t really see it as a worthwhile thing, her mom was very like the mom from matilda “you chose books.... i chose looks!” which i think is where a lot of mimi’s more shallow / appearance-driven traits come from

wasn’t really ‘cool’ until high school. before that she was a bit of a lisa simpson type. won a spelling bee when she was 9. was in the mathletes squad in middle school. when she went from middle school to high school she started cheer and tried to reinvent herself basically. always been very concerned with social mobility and keen to socially climb, like when she enters a new situation she’ll find out who the alphas are and quickly try n befriend them

when she turned 18 she moved out and went to vegas despite her mom hating the idea bcos it was everything she’d tried to get her kids away from. she worked in the clubs there for several years as a shot girl, a table dancer, n eventually she started workin behind the bar in a strip club. in the club it ws really hard to resist becoming a dancer bcos of the sheer amount they made in tips. no one really pressured her into it she just eventually decided tht it was way more logical to do it while she was young n fit and had the stamina and ppl were willing to pay to see her body so she started taking pole fitness lessons. she also started working as a cam girl around this time

working in vegas strip clubs is basically whats paid for uni. like she didn’t go at 18 like most of her friends did bcos she didn’t have the money and she didn’t want to feel indebted to a college like she had to compete for her place and not put a toe out of line bcos she was on a scholarship. she was determined to pay her own way and it took 4 years of working really hard and saving n even tho she was working in vegas she basically never went out bcos every penny she had needed to go on uni n thts how we get to radcliffe baybeeyy

part 2 - interior / values / personality

values: the aesthetic !! literally loves the aesthetic so much. everything she owns is super embellished, she’s a pop socket gal, her dell laptop is covered in glitzy stickers, she always has acrylics n probs makes nail art videos on tiktok. really tuned into tiny details like painting a little hello kitty above her eye which translates into her degree when she’s doing small-scale mockups of town plans n stuff... she jst puts so much detail into them. ppl often get surprised when she tells them she does architecture but it makes so much sense bcos she grew up in a trailer park n was always thinking about ways the space could be more efficiently used, like she loves re-conceptualising neighbourhoods, definitely spent hours on sims as a kid. she also grew up near hoover dam n so loads of school trips they just took them there n she was like.... this is tight but it could be cooler.... where’s the passion....

massively into photography, has such a neat instagram feed like everything just compliments the tones in the next post like mMMM. idk if any of u know any architecture students but this is literally the one constant i can find…. like they all have super good instagrams feeds. is that bitch that will take 40 fake candids of u in a row at different angles to get u the perfect profile picture cos she understands the importance of marketing urself and having an online #brand

has wire rimmed glasses that she doesn’t need to see BUT they r like a magnifying glass for when she’s working with really small materials to do a mock up of an urban plan, and also just sometimes wears them for the aesthetic bc she’s such a pinterest bitch

assassination nation is such a big mood. literally the aesthetics of that and lily colson’s whole brand of feminism and nudity not being inherently sexual but at the same time wanting to profit off that bcos why the fuck shouldnt she use a corrupt system to her advantage is incredibly mimi

literally a human personification of a bratz doll both in attitude and fashion sense

somehow simultaneously gansey in the raven cycle AND elle woods in legally blonde? the two genders

values cont bc i started rambling: her independence and freedom. being the best at any given task she sets her mind to accomplish because she is unable to accept failure. social mobility. sexual liberation. interested in the psychology of sub-cultures and how ppl form groups and interact w each other and cult identities which is why she minors in anthropology. pro-choice. pro-weed legalisation. pro-sex worker rights. very activist.

aesthetics tht remind me of her: von dutch. a strappy cami top that says ‘please do not do coke in the bathroom’. low-waisted jeans that show off her belly button piercing. acrylic nails tapping against a heavily embellished second-hand dell laptop. heart shaped sunglasses in every colour. translucent stripper heels with barbie doll heads and plastic spiders in the heel. spraying champagne you cant afford all over the walls. narcotics in a heart shaped locket. an amazon wishlist full of lingerie linked on your tinder profile. sex tapes recorded on VCR. a religious devotion to waxing clinics. necking shots like you were born to do it.

she’s an enfj type which makes her pretty charismatic and confidence, like she has a fierce kind of energy to her, but she’s also super unwilling to accept criticism, dogmatic and can only really see her own way of thinking, quite ruthless when it comes 2 other ppls emotions despite having a poor control of her own and being prone to turbulence / throwin a bitch fit in the craft lab. easily bored. competitive. self-assured to the point of arrogance. forceful. adaptable. usually more rational than emotional but occasionally loses the ability to make rational decisions when blinded by a need for perfectionism.

very goal-oriented. money motivates her. money and clothes. she wants to look bomb while earning big bucks. when she gets her mind set on a project it literally consumes her she will forget to eat and sleep? i don’t know her. like when a final design project is due for architecture she’ll be up all night doing adderall and speed to keep her awake working on the placement of a single tree for ages cos its gotta be perfect

loves chaos. will spill your secrets and pretend it was an accident. will always be that gif of kim kardashian sipping her tea while drama unfolds around her. lives for the drama like that gifset of bratz when she comes running and gets her phone out to record a fight.

im makin her sound like a really bad person but hopefully she’ll be somewhat likeable she can be very charismatic and endearing and she’s naturally quite funny. also now she’s finally in college and doesn’t have to worry so much about money she actually allows herself to party n bcos she denied herself of it for so long she kinda makes up for it by going p wild like will be the girl climbing on to stage to crowd surf at gigs or doing a summersault off the bar and being escorted out by bouncers, thats the energy were looking at, pure dionysian hedonistic impulse

really gd at talking her way out of shit like parking fines. so good at being an ‘im baby’ girl and often dumbs herself down to figures of authority to appear less like a threatening ball-breaker and more like a confused fiat 500 girl who didn’t know red meant stop she thought it meant slow down

listens almost exclusively to female artists. has fergalicious on repeat when she does squats infront of the mirror n just the biggest fergie stan. also lana del rey’s whole vibe is massive mimi energy

ok ya thats all i have for now..... hopefully this is somewhat coherent and not just garbage.

#radintro #plot w me bitches #im fun n love quarantine sadness

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seblore · 3 years

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everyday i wake up and you still havent posted your evermore rant </3

there u go boo 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

GDBDNSKDJHHDDNDS GIRL................ ok so i very cleverly avoided ranking folklore because every song REALLY HIT and the whole album was just SO.. SO.. yeah. i can however rank miss evermore. i dont want to compare the two album i do not get the point in that. both give off really different vibes. now what i will say is with folklore, AS AN ALBUM, it is just a master masterpiece. The songs flowed amazingly with each other and really held you close the entire first listen. at least thats what I felt like <3 with evermore however, the individual songs are OMG!!! THERE IS LITERALLY NO SONG I DONT LIKE FROM ANY OF THE TWO ALBUMS. but as an album on the first listen i did feel a bit disconnected from evermore which didnt happen to me with folklore. why i think that might’ve happened is BECAUSE taylor is just so brilliant m8.... the MASSIVE contrasting emotions between the songs was too much for my little brain to handle.

Ok so now that’s out of the way dhsjsk time for rankings :) i have no idea where im going to put each song im just going to make it up as we go <3 ill ALSO give you my fave lyrics from each if I remember it <333 (oh and also you’ll notice marjorie isnt here. im sorry but i never listened to it after the first listen because it hits a little too close to home and i dont want to unpack all of that now im sorry! it is a beautiful song)

14. Closure: she popped off <3 she really said dont treat me like a situation that needs to be handled 💃🤙💯 a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics HOWEVER its the first song i couldnt connect with thus it’s down here BUT I STILL WOULD LISTEN TO IT ON REPEAT THO... the last in my ranking but still fucks 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ thats taylor swift 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

13. long story short: i have never been in a relationship ever BUT GODDAMN ‘pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest lips’ hdjsksksjjddjnBbdns jddd ubebs!:!?:?:$3&39383$hzjs WOAH.... and this bitch really summarized the full 2016 drama with long story short it was a bad time. HILARITY. yeah not much to say here tho this is just the ‘at least one mandatory song to shake your tits to on each ts album’ song of evermore <3 and always remember that if the shoe fits walk in it TILL YOUR HIGH HEELS BREAK WOOH ANDIFELLDOWNTHEPEDESTALRIGHTDOWNTHERA—

12: dorothea: making a lark of misery :D RENt free. i had to listen to ‘if youre tired of being known for who you know you know youll always know me’ 113 times to finally understand it tho 😐 some of us are stupid and illiterate have you ever thought about that miss swift???? anyways TINGTINGTINGINGINGING THE STARS IN YOUR EYES SHINED BRIGHTER IN TUPELO <33333 such an innocent feel good song I LOVE!!!!!

11. ivy: the goddamn here and the hush of mirrorball ARE THE REASON IM STILL ALIVE 😽 another lyrical masterclass <3 ‘id live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time’ IS2G!!!!!!!!!!! anyways what if you cheated on your husband with me and i cheated on my husband with you and my pain fit in the palm of your freezing hands 😳 JK JK 😅 unless...... 🤪😏 hdjsks yeah this song is magnificently cursed and i am in love with it 🧎‍♀️

10. tis the damn season: this song is august but the other side of the coin. august but four months later. AUGUST SLIPPED AWAY LIKE A BOTTLE OF WINE- THE HOLIDAYS LINGER LIKE A BAD PERFUMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... she sounds so pretty goshhh! ‘time flies messy as the mud on your truck tires NOW IM MISSING YOUR SMILE hear me out we could just ride around and the road not taken looks real good now’ is on repeat in my mind. and as always the bridge ::::::::::::::.............:::::::::::::: how does she do this everytime. ‘and wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles im faking’ 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ after every ts song i listen my expectations about true love grows exponentially and my chances of finding true love falls exponentially simultaneously ADIEU.

9. willow: she really took the invisible string quartet and put it in huh..................... FUCKED IN THE HEADDDDDDDDDDDDDD. what can i say <3 its just such a pretty song <3 hashtag gorgeous hashtag i cant say anything to its face. WRECK MY PLANS!!!!!! WRECK IT BITCH!!! ‘wait for the signal and ill meet you after dark’ LOVE STORY WHIPLASH. also mate i cant even focus on the song she looks SO GOOD in the music video i—

8. happiness: !!!! what can i say.... one of the best songs of the album hands down. lyrical masterpiece AND musically rich. she really logged into tumblr dot com and typed out ‘THERE’LL BE HAPPINESS AFTER YOU’ AND ‘THERE WAS HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOU’ ARE IDEAS THAT CAN COEXIST and logged off...... h8 her and her insanity. the one word i have to describe this song is: picturesque. tis a picturesque song <3 oh and dfbhhffcbhDDVHHTRSDVJK when i heard ‘i hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you’ i audibly GASPED and then she says ‘no i didnt mean that sorry i cant see facts through all of my fury’................. i fell out of my chair. IT FELT LIKE AS IF SHE HEARD MY GASP AND TOLD ME SPECIFICALLY THAT NO SHE DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT... anyways yeah. ill write an article one day named THE SWIFT DECEPTION OF TAYLOR about how she keeps writing songs with deceptive titles and this will be the opening case 😈🤙 also the fact that this is one of my faves and i put it in number 8 says a lot......

7. evermore: i havent recovered from ‘motion capture. put me in a bad light’. i mean come on the whole goddamn song is a lyrical masterpiece. ‘writing letters addressed to the fire’. IS SHE OK!????????????? i think tf not. beautiful song beautiful arrangement. iver sounded really good too. and lol lol rofl WOOFWOOFbarkbark ‘HEY DECEMBER GUESS IM FEELING UNMOORED’ unmoored definition from google dot com: no longer attached. she doesn’t go back to december anymore. about2 faint oml. long story short: i did not survive. THIS PAIN WOULD BE FOR EVERMORE........ what i felt with this song is that she took the quarantine sadness we all felt at least once this year and made it into a masterpiece of a song. couldve been easily the top song on any album except this. no i will not elaborate <3

6. no body no crime: i cannot believe. she teased us with a musical number. this woman teased us with. a musical number. I THINK SHE IS WRITING A MUSICAL BUT I JUST CANT PROVE IT! when she wins that tony 16 years later call me prophetic xoxo. anyways yeah she literally wrote this to flex her storytelling abilities. send tweet 🐥

5. cowboy like me: YEEEHAWWW I’LL BE HONEST WITH YOU I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FULL SONG SOUNDS LIKE I JUST HAVE THE BRIDGE ON REPEAT!!!! OMFG!!! the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up. AAAA!! ??? STFU. IM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS MATE THE WAY ITS SUNG!!!!!!! GUT WRENCHING! the best bridge she has ever written musically. i cant stop listening to it. REALLYYY DID BELIEEEVE I WAS THE ONEEE. STORIESSS ABOUT WHEEEN YOU PASSSEDDD THROUGHH TOWN. y e l l. and then she hits me with ‘now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon.’ L ???? M !!!!! A $$$$$ O “”””” i had to pause it and sit there for 10 minutes to take in what i had just heard. case closed critical hit sustained yeedhawd.

4. tolerate it: i cried. the only reason it’s not 1 is because it hurt me too much. WHAT THE FUCK YOU MF YOU ASSUME IM FINE BUT WYD IF I BREAK FREE AND LEAVE US IN THE RUINS???? TOOK THIS DAGGER IN ME AND REMOV— m8 this physically hurts me everytime. if its all in my head TELL ME RN. aghhh aRghhhhhhh. pain. and lol she broke down sleep to its bare essentials ‘breathing with your eyes closed’.

3. ??? coney island: i know it’s a bit of a controversial top three but WHO CARES 🕴this is solely here for ‘AND IM SITTING ON A BENCH IN CONEY ISLAND wondering where did my BABYy GO’ im shaking. my bed is shaking. my body is shaking. my pupils are shaking. THE WAY SHE SINGS IT OH MY GOODNESS ME i have to lie down gimme a sec. ‘and if this is the long haul howd we get here so soon 😟’ SCREAM. and when i was hearing it for the first time and she said ‘sorry for not making you my centerfold’ i was like yeah and?? so what?? and then she hits me with ‘over and over’...... so she didnt make him/her/them her centerfold over and over !!!!!!! she is sorry she didnt do it over and over!!!!!! mannn.... the chorus.. i shall not speak. i am held at gunpoint i CANNOT SPEAK. the bridge tho dhdnsksksjsb I CAN SPEAK AND I SHALL SPEAK. BITCH WENT OFFFFFFFF. <3 this is the apology she deserved from her exes which she never got so she wrote it herself. podium. grey skies. birthday cake. ACCIDENT. im laughingggggggggggg <///3 and yeah so overall it is a really yummy song with yummy vocals and yummy arrangement 9/10 would recommend. also!! life lessons kids life lessons. disappointments? SIMPLY CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND YOU DO NOT SEE IT YAAAAAAAAAS

2. gold rush: ETHEREAL!!!!!! The last time i felt like this™️ whilst listening to a song was with mirrorball <3 the production of this song omg omg omg LOVE 💃 but what propelled it to number two status was the ‘i dont like slow motion double vision in ROSE BLUSH/ i dont like that falling feels like flying till the BONE CRUSH’ imagine how fucked in the head a person needs to be to rhyme rose blush with bone crush. yeah i have nothing more to say really this song is extremely gorgeous and ‘eyes like sinking ships on water so inviting i almost jumped in’ / ‘walk past quick brush’ ?:!:!&:8483 F A V E <33333 and the transition transmission transfusion from ‘... gray old tea cuz itll never be ᵍˡᵉᵃᵃᵃᵃᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʷⁱⁿᵏˡⁱⁿᵍᵍᵍᵍ’ MADAME

1. champagne problems: are we surprised? ARE WE REALLY SURPRISED? when listening to new albums i normally listen to it at one go in order. i stick to that rule. HOWEVER after many years of my solid album listening self made rule tm i finally broke and immediately replayed this mf song after listening to it once. ‘you had a speech, youre speechless/ love slipped beyond your reaches’???? stfu???? VILE. PUNISHABLE. DEROGATORY. and welp the entire bridge ...... .... ........... what can i say. And the parallels to miss all too well??? WHAT WAS THE REASON???? your SISTER splashed out on the bottle- left my scarf there at your SISTER’s house 😐 she’ll patch up your tapestry that i SHRED- maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you TORE it all up 😐 your MOM’s ring in your pocket- your MOTHER’s telling stories bout you on the tee ball team 😐 November flush and your FLANNEL cure- PLAID shirt days and nights when you made me your own 😐 wHAT A SHAME SHE IS FUCKED IN THE HEAD IS2G........... and also why would she not rhyme POCKET with LOCKET?????? why with wallet???????????? slant rhyme why????????????? AND THE NOTE THIS MF SONG ENDS ON..... FUCKED IN THE HEAD

THATS IT. i really sat here and did this for the past 2 hours huh...... hhdjsms anyways LONG STORY SHORT: I HATE ONE INSANE WOMAN AND HER NAME IS TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT. GODSPEEED 🏃‍♀️

#obviously i have not listened to the two delux songs yet so yeah <3 #im sorry about this i have neither proofread this nor do i think this makes any sense </3 #also i just realized i swore alot in this.... its that kind of a year huh ;D #anyways tysm anon for your eagerness for MY rant on evermore <3 truly honored #have a great day ilyy #answered 🗣#evermore era

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basically-i-write-shit · 5 years

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wow, just read that ice skating AU with Tsukki being Yams coach. I love it. It was also sad in the end, since his little sister said that not many are nice to her older brother. I had an idea. what if one day Yama shows up with a bruised eye right before a competition. Hotarou is upset since her bro doesn't tell her anything and Tsukki is upset becuse Yama cant compete looking like that but also worried. Yama tries to hold it together but breaks down during practice on the ice (1)

(2) and Yama tells him that just some boys in his class decided to give it to him since he is an ice skater & calls him slurs becuse of it. Tsukki can’t really do anything, but he is upset about the whole situation. And Yama cries more bc Tsukki is kind of like his only friend despite their age difference. They talk for a while and Tsukki buys him french fries and hamburger since that is his fave food and Yama is in fucking tears. its okay since he isn't going to compete :) Hotarou approves!!!

I forgoooot about this god bless u anon

Tadashi is late. Again. Unlike last time he was late, Kei is on time, and waiting impatiently. He takes the liberty to skate laps while he waits, thinking of a suitable punishment for showing up late a week before a competition. Seriously, there’s only so many competitions Tadashi can compete in that aren’t national competitions, and Kei still hasn’t convinced him on that yet.

He’s making his third leisurely lap around the rink when Tadashi stumbles in, holding a crying Hotarou. Kei can’t see Tadashi’s face, but he assumes he’s fine-- he’s more focused on Hotarou. He rushes over to the door and climbs rinkside, kneeling at Hotarou’s side as Tadashi sets her on the bench and rushes into the bathroom.

“Hotarou-chan, are you okay Did you trip and fall outside?” He checks her over for scrapes, but can’t find one. Hotarou keeps crying, her little hands pressed over her eyes. Kei helplessly fumbles, searching for something to do. He’s no good with crying, kids, or crying kids. God, why did Tadashi rush off? “Hotarou-chan, I need you to tell me what’s wrong, okay?”

“S- Someone h- hu-- hurt Tada-nii!..”

“Wha--” Kei frowns, brows furrowing. “Someone hurt Tadashi?”

“I-- It was so scar- y!..” Hotrou throws herself at Kei, clinging to his shirt, and Kei wraps his arms around her, rubbing his back.

“Shh, it’s okay, Hotarou. It’s okay. Hey-- can I leave you right here while I go check on Tadashi? I’ll be right back.” Hotarou nods, sniffling, and Kei grabs a blanket and wraps it around her. He ruffles her hair and goes to the bathroom, steaming with anger. “Alright, who did it?”

Tadashi is locked in a stall, sniffling. “I- I don’t-- kno- kn- know what you mean.”

“Yamaguchi, don’t lie. Hotarou-chan said someone hurt you. Now open up.”

A moment later, the stall door opens and Tadashi steps out. There’s blood on his school shirt. That’s-- not good. Tadashi’s holding a hand to a bloody nose, and Kei thinks that’s the extent of that. Thank god. He lifts Tadashi with ease and sits him on the counter, wetting a cloth and wiping the sweat from his face. There’s a bruise forming on left eye, and that...that won’t be good for competition. He combs Tadashi’s hair from his face.

“They jumped me on my way to pick up Hotarou...She scared them away by screaming when she came out of the rec center.” Tadashi whispers.

“Tell me you had someone chase after them. That’s-- That’s assault..!”

Tadashi looks down, ashamed. Kei sighs before he tilts his head back.

“Hotarou was crying, and I was bleeding. No one saw-- I just wanted to get here. Please, let’s just ignore it and get to work. My routine needs to be perfect for next week.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re looking at the wall, not at me, Tadashi.” Kei sighs. This just isn’t good. “I’m gonna call your mom and take you to the clinic. You have a concussion.”

“Wh- Wha-- No, I can’t! I’m fine, Tsukki. Really.”

“I don’t think so. We’re taking you to the clinic.” Kei pulls Tadashi off the counter, holding him as he walks him out. “Hotarou, will you help carry Tadashi’s skate bag please?”

“Y- Yes, Kei-Sensei! Is-- Is Tada-nii gonna be okay?..”

Kei pats Hotarou’s head, smiling. “We’re gonna take him to the doctor, and he’ll be just fine, Hotarou-chan.”

And he is. Well-- mostly. He has a mild concussion and he’s not able to get on the ice for a couple of days. He isn’t able to compete because of the practice he missed due to the concussion; a week later, on his first day back, he comes back to the rink on time, though he’s a bit jumpy and paranoid. Hotarou is looking a lot happier than the last time Kei saw her.

“Okay, Yamaguchi, we’re going to work on your routine so we can get you ready for a competition in Tokyo in a month.”

“Right.” Tadashi’s been distracted. He sighs, closing his eyes. “I kinda lost a lot of practice time, didn’t I, Tsukki?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to have you practicing on a concussion. A fall could make it worse.” Kei hops up on the side of the rink and presses play on his phone, the speakers playing the song Tadashi arranged for the competition. About halfway through practice, Kei shuts off the music. Tadashi just can’t focus, and he’s falling more than usual. Kei can tell there’s something on his mind. “Yamaguchi, are you feeling alright?”

Tadashi startles, nodding vigorously. “I- I’m fine, Tsukki. Just a bit frustrated. I’m not landing that last triple!”

Kei nods, humming. There’s an awkward silence, before Tadashi clears his throat.

“I- I...don’t think I wanna go to competition, Tsukki.”

Kei blinks. “...What? Why?”

“I dunno. I just-- I start uni in in a month, I don’t wanna be known as the ‘figure skater’ in college.”

“Yamaguchi...You love skating. Why would you quit?”

“I won’t quit, I’ll just keep renting private ice.”

“You promised me you’d compete until your second year of university.” Kei says. He runs a hand through his hair, looking away. He wouldn’t admit it, but he feels...betrayed. “Yamaguchi, you promised.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t feel like getting beat up in the streets and called a fag in front of my baby sister again, okay?!”

Tadashi’s words echo through the rink, and Kei is glad he sent Hotarou to the other rink down the hall with Kuroo and the other fun-time skaters.

“...What?”

Tadashi’s knees wobble and he collapses on the ice, sobbing. “They called me a fag, Tsukki. While they were beating me to a pulp, they called me every slur in the book, and spit at me. B- Because some of the guys found out I figure skate and thought that was good enough reason to beat me up..!”

Kei kneels at Tadashi’s side, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Tadashi, that’s...horrible.”

“Yeah, well I know that, Tsukki. Thanks!” Tadashi’s head falls into his hands with a whimper, and Kei carefully pulls him into a hug, sitting on the ice despite how cold it is. They’d both regret it later, but Tadashi needs Kei right now.

“Do you know who did this?”

“S- Some guys from my class...”

He nods. “And they got in some big trouble for this, right?”

“No--” Tadashi shakes his head. “No, I can’t tell on them, they’ll get even more mad. I don’t-- I don’t wanna-- know what they’d do to me.”

“Tadashi you need to tell someone so this never happens again.”

“B- But--” Tadashi whimpers. “Tsukki, what if they’re right?..What if-- What would you do if I...was...gay?"

The rink is dead silent for a few seconds.

“Well I wouldn’t beat the hell out of you and give you a concussion, that’s for sure. I’d support you. Just like I’ll support you quitting skating if that’s what you really want, and not because some assholes think it’s funny to pick on people for things they can’t change about themselves.”

Tadashi sniffles, turning his head to look at Kei. “R- Really?..”

Kei smiles. “Really.”

“If I go make a police report...will you come with me?” Tadashi asks weakly. “I don’t wanna bother or scare mom, and I-- well, I don’t have anyone else to go with...”

Kei nods. He know how bad Tadashi’s school life is. It feels nice to be needed-- because, well, as much as Kei pretended he was this big bad guy who doesn’t need friends, but he does get lonely. And he knows Tadashi does too.

“I will, Tadashi.” He pats his shoulder. “I promise. But will you please, please keep skating? Finish this competition, and then tell me how you feel.”

Tadashi nods, sniffling. “I will.”

Kei smiles, ruffling his hair, and climbs up. He offers a hand and helps Tadashi onto his skates again. “Let’s practice for another hour, get that police report done, and...well, you have a competition in a month, but I suppose I can let you have McDonalds tonight just for tonight-- since you’re being so brave and going through with this. My treat.”

Tadashi beams happily. “Large fry?”

“You’re pushing it, Yamaguchi-kun.”

“Aw, I’m Yamaguchi-kun again? So mean, Tsukishima-sensei~”

“Just get back to practice before I make you do laps.” Kei says, skating to the edge of the rink and hops up on the side again, pressing play on the speaker. Tadashi laughs, getting into position, and though he teases Kei for yelling at him (”your step sequence is sloppy!” “Slow down on that quad until you can land it without stumbling.”), he makes sure to listen to his criticism seriously and adjust what he needs.

After the crying, he’s a lot better. Both emotionally and in practice. It’s reassuring to Kei, at least. He’s happy, for at least a moment.

When practice is over, they leave Hotarou with Kuroo for another half an hour while they go a block over to the police station and file a report about the incident, but there’s not a lot they can do since it was a week ago and he doesn’t remember much because of the concussion. But it makes him feel better, at least.

When they finally make it back to the rink, Hotarou bounces up to them with a bright grin.

“Kei-sensei, Tada-nii-chan, how was practice?!”

“Great, Tarou-chan! My routine is going great.” He pinches her cheek with a smile, grabbing his skate bag with one hand and her hand with the other. Kei grabs her other hand, smiling at the happy squeal she gives when he tells her he’ll buy her a happy meal.

Tadashi catches his eyes, smiling, and mouths a silent “thank you” to him-- not just for volunteering to get Hotarou food so he didn’t have to use the rest of his allowance buying her a happy meal.

When Kei comes to the rink the next morning, well-- he’s relieved to see Tadashi come back. And he's going to make sure Tadashi wins his next competition, so he can see him skate even more.

#haikyuu!!#tsukkiyama #yamaguchi tadashi #tsukishima kei #kei tsukishima #tadashi yamaguchi #fluff #figure skating au

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jongmininii · 5 years

Text

ex_o doesn’t work this hard and go through so much stuff to be called a crash course, or reduced to be the ‘other team’.

the thing that made me iffy abt sperm from the get go is how they always say that they are made up of ‘the most talented and popular of their groups’, the dream team, the all star. isn’t it diminishing the rest of the members? nice to hear that the other members are just backup this whole time.

i love jongbaek to pieces but sm is rly playing with fire here with the constant disrespect. it wont be long until ppl are choosing ex_o or jongbaek. i have seen some kr fans calling them traitors ffs. and i cant rly say much bc i can see from their perspective.

with them constantly boasting ‘we can do what we can’t in our group’ (most likely the agenda and script they’re forced to say) it can make ppl question ‘so you feel like ex_o is a burden? ex_o stopped you from doing what you want’? and suddenly this group came and you can be more ‘loose’ and GROW (is2g that rolling stones article is pure garbage) while also using ex_o’s achievement to imply how impactful you are already when lets face it sperm still has nothing on its own.

again, i love jongbaek but this group being made in a critical time for exo is doing nothing. ex_o can still work with 6, but 4? they all better focus on their solos and units at this point. jongbaek doesn’t feel like ex_o with the constant sperm down our throat (lol). and them begging ppl to buy the album to get the billboard chart? (Oh i got the email from sm’s global shop with the subject : please help sperm got number 1 on billboard) asking ppl to buy through ig lives? never in my life i saw sm forcing ex_o to do that, and they themselves wants us to just buy more important things (and we didnt listen). they treat ex_o like a side project they will do, they will attend concerts, record songs, and go with sperm for tour, tv shows, interviews etc. ppl invests on ex_o with buying albums and breaking records with the expectation ex_o would be treated better, seeing all their hardworking is plastered on another group while ex_o is still getting crumbs is frustrating.

and with the constant “arrogance” (in quotes bc i know its probably the image they’re forced to have) from the group as if they’ve actually achieved something while piggybacking on mostly ex_o’s achievements, im just scared ppl will have this mindset to just push jongbaek out of the group entirely bc ppl are tired of constant disrespect and crumbs that they don’t deserve. at the end it will be 7 vs 2, and at some point i don’t feel like we’re one anymore. it hasn’t feel like that for some time but now its more jarring. ppl dont wanna admit it but it really is at the end : my bias vs everyone else.

and good god my faves are in the military, and the other is in this circus. im tired. and tbh i just saw someone said “what bars did you raise when even all these years of training you can’t raise your vocals for even a bar” to ji in regards of what he stated in the rolling stones of ‘raising the bar of kpop with sperm’.

did y’all see this. and i cant even recite the ones talking abt wanting b_aek just be the leader of sperm and not come back to ex_o.

sm is trying to break the trust between the fans and jongbaek, by making ppl wonder ‘do they rly love to not be in ex_o anymore? ‘ or the attachment of jongbaek stans with ex_o by making them getting lots of things for their faves to do

and its fucking terrifying.

(pic attached of someone’s tweet im fucking stressed this is kpop shouldn’t be this heartbreaking. the other’s are more confused and hurt but this one just wanna make me hit someone)

#i wish i could shut up abt this but im so frustrated

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comicteaparty · 5 years

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August 5th-August 11th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from August 5th, 2019 to August 11th, 2019. The chat focused on Beyond Bloom by NiaNook.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Beyond Bloom by NiaNook~! (http://beyondbloom.webcomic.ws/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until August 11th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. In what ways do you think Yokiro will find a way to be helpful to Tatsuma and Sikue (if any)? Overall, how do you foresee him growing and changing as a person over the course of his journey?

snuffysam

1. Hmm... I'd say the burning building rescue from Book 3. I loved seeing Tatsuma putting aside her hangups and actually helping people for once - even if she claimed she was only doing so to protect Sikue. And I loved the frank conversation Tatsuma and Yokiro had on the cliffside after the fact. I also really like this scene http://beyondbloom.webcomic.ws/comics/120/ of Sikue and the fireflies. It's just such a cute interaction between Sikue and Yokiro! 2. I think he's already been helpful - he's taught them about humanity. Though I would love if during the final encounter with the big bad benta boss Yokiro saves the day using his fishing skills XD

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. What do you think makes Tatsuma and Sikue special compared to the other benta? Besides their powers, in what ways do you think the physical nature or symbolism of the flowers they are might come into play in the story?

ShaRose49

My favourite scene was probably the scene where they fight Ginari and Evalkol—it showed that the three main characters are loyal to each other even when they disagree, and it was really cool to see so many characters in action

Yokiro’s been super kind and awesome to the girls!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Do you think Tatsuma, Sikue, and even Yokiro will find some way to feel like they belong and fit in with the rest of the world? If so, how do you see this happening? Overall, what can the story teach us about what it means to belong?

RebelVampire

1) My favorite scene is probably the one where Yokiro caught Sikue playing with bugs and dancing...and then falling flat on her fact. Not only were the illustrations really beautiful, but I liked the blend of cute, comedy, and...mysticism for lack of a better word. It really sticks with me cause I think it was such a great bonding moment between the characters despite nothing of immense significance happening. 2) I have to agree with @snuffysam on this. I think Yokiro has already been kind of helpful. Not just in teaching them about humanity and how humanity isn't awful, but also by being the most practical between them. Cause like he thought of the toothbrushes (not that they for sure need it, but its the thought that counts). Of course, I think Yokiro might find other ways to help. Like maybe learn to hit people with a giant stick. I do think through the journey though Yokiro is gonna find his calling though. Maybe as just some charity guy who helps ppl. Opens an orphanage. Something like that.

3) My favorite character is probably Sikue if for no other reason than I like her design. Shes really cute but also has this sort of elegance about her despite the circumstances. Plus, between the three, I'd characterize Sikue as the hope of the group since shes caring, considerate, etc. I guess in otherwords, she's the glue that keeps the train going. 4) From what we've seen so far, it seems the others are based on animals, versus Tatsuma and Sikue who were plants. So a lot more might have gone into them, thus giving them access to more special abilities. However, I think that story about them being eternity flowers has a lot to do with it. Maybe they're strong just because their natures are so entertwined. So in a way nothing they cant conquer as long as theyre together.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Do you believe that Ginari will remain with the Keeper despite having misgivings? Why or why not? Also, do you think that Ginari will forgive Tatsuma and Sikue for killing her dragon? How will this affect her overall feeling towards them?

RebelVampire

5) As partly mentioned, my fave illustration is definitely this huge panel one of Sikue, Yokiro, and the fireflies. http://beyondbloom.webcomic.ws/comics/125/ The combination between the night sky and fireflies is breathtaking, and the angle really sells the beauty of it to me. 6) I do think the three will find some way to belong in the world, but a long time from now and eventually. The feeling of belonging, imo, is one that comes from confidence and self-acceptance. And I kind of don't think any of them are even close to that mental juncture. They're still asking who they are, why they exist, what should they do with themselves, etc. And these are the sorts of feelings that will make you feel isolated even if you have a large community who likes you all around you. Which I guess, this is what I think the story will teach us about what it means to belong. It doesn't mean fitting in, it doesn't necessarily even mean having a large community. Belonging is something that is just as much about loving yourself for the good and the bad and having the confidence that no one can tell you otherwise.

NiaNook

@RebelVampire Aww, will not confirm or deny, but your 6th point got me feeling all mushy :')

Been fun reading your guys' thoughts, thank you! And Snuffysam suggesting Yokiro saves the day with his fishing skills; LOL! He'll cast that line right in the bad guy's face!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Why do you think the benta were created in the first place? In other words, what is the Keeper’s ultimate end goal? How do you think the Keeper intends to capture Tatsuma and Sikue, and what would happen to them in that situation?

RebelVampire

7) I probably like seeing Sikue and Yokiro interact the most. I like seeing how Yokiro is help expose other sides to Sikue, since Sikue is a lot less forward about stuff than Tatsuma. Thus, it's like getting to delve into a mystery. 8) I think Ginari is gonna stay pretty loyal to the Keeper, if only because of the answer to the next question. I don't think Ginari will ever forgive them for killing her dragon, because she'd also have to forgive herself. Thus, she will always have a grudge against them even if she somehow left the Keeper. Honestly, if she doesn't wind up dying a tragic death, I will be super duper surprised. >_>;;;;

9) I appreciate the balance of nature. Since the story features them traveling in a lot of forests, it's there a lot. However, it's not always super detailed or super obviously present. Like sometimes it's simplified and cut back, whereas other times it takes up a good chunk of the panel and is super detailed. I think this works really well, though, as it allows the nature to functionally add atmosphere to key moments, whether isolation, mysticism, or something else needs to be conveyed. 10) Ya know, I'm not sure the Keeper has an end goal. Maybe the Keeper just wants to prove what true power is or something like that. I do think regardless of goals, part of the creationg was derived just from the idea that the Keeper thought they could do it. And when you can do something, why not do it? I think the Keeper intends to trick them into coming by making them desire answers to question with the assumption the Keeper knows the answers. As for outcome, ya know, abuse their powers to do jerk things. The usual.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Do you feel Yokiro’s handling of the thief Kenber was the best? Why or why not? How does Yokiro’s desire to forgive Kenber tie into his speech about the world being filled with different kinds of people? What we can learn about forgiveness with the story?

ShaRose49

This comic is unique in that even though it focuses on super-powered beings, the story doesn’t have a lot of fighting, instead it’s more like a casual adventure story following the journey of three characters and every once in awhile goes to some mysterious anti-heroes and bad guys. Nobody take insult from this but it actually reminds me of the original Ice Age movie. (I love that movie so I don’t mean it in a bad way)(edited)

I also think the art is unique and I admire it a lot

I think since Kenber didn’t seem to be super dangerous and I don’t even know if they have police in this world—I think what he (Yokiro) did was pretty okay, especially since Kenber is just a kid. You definitely would need to use discretion with stuff like that IRL though(edited)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Who do you think the lady we saw in a flashback was? How did Tatsuma and Sikue wind up with her? Also, how does this factor in to Tatsuma and Sikue ultimately being cast out (possibly due to a fire)?

RebelVampire

11) I think the comic's strengths lie in the characters. The designs are really clean and stand out against each other. There's also interesting elements incoporated to reflect the plant and animal natures. The intereactions are also a lot of fun and come with both drama and comedy, so the comic has a little something for everyone. 12) I have mixed feelings about Yokiro's handling of it. I think it's nice, but I also think eventually that forgiving nature is gonna bite him in the butt. Cause sometimes second chances just explode and it doesn't work as well as it did in that specific scenario. However, I think it's a good message about how all people are different and just cause our first impression isnt good, it could change if we take the time to get to know someone. And I think that is the takeaway of the story in terms of forgiveness. Not all the time, but sometimes it's worth trying to understand why someone would do something awful.

13) I am looking forward to seeing Yokiro grow and evolve more and what he'll contribute to the group some more. I'm always fascinated by the dynamics between super powered people and then the non-super powered companions, cause theres a lot of emotional exploration of inferiority complexes available there. 14) I assume the lady was just some random lady who found Tatsuma and Sikue and took them in because the lady seemed nice. And I assume they caused a fire, lady died, everyone blamed them. Or something like that. I'm taking Occam's Razor with this one and assume it's the most common assumption.

snuffysam

maybe the lady started the fire!

my final thoughts to share are... this comic is incredible. truly incredible. a lovable cast of characters at every level, and downright stunning art pieces. keep at it, nia~!

Free iPod

Didn't have time to get to every question, but here are some responses! 1) The part in Book 4 where Yokiro and Sikue meet in the forest stands out. It's a simple moment, but it feels very important. The illustration complements the emotions of the scene perfectly - as these two characters are starting to open up to each other for the first time, the black and white page blooms (lol pun) into color and the panels drift into a more loose and organic arrangement. It's super well done. 2) In a way, he's helpful because he's someone who they can trust. The three of them share the experience of being somewhat isolated from the world at large, so I think that they all benefit from knowing each other. Yokiro is definitely helpful when dealing with people, but I think that he's still conflicted about leaving his old life behind. He mentioned at one point that he had a family, so I wouldn't be surprised if he runs into them eventually. 3) It's hard to choose, but Tatsuma is my fave. I like how she's tough and prone to messing around a lot of the time, but she's very determined to protect the people she cares about. With the fire in the village and in the situation with Kenber, she believed that it would be smarter to stay out of trouble, but she was willing to jump in without hesitation to help Sikue and Yokiro. 5) The first page of Book 3. Its portrayal of dialectical exchange between two legendary philosophers is simply astounding. :3

8) I think that she will, at least for a while. I don't think that she'd want to abandon the other benta. She was genuinely concerned for Mae's wellbeing, and she got along well with Elvalkol for the most part. It seems like she has some personal history with the Keeper - their interactions were a bit more familiar than what you'd expect if they were just a boss and his lieutenant, and since she's apparently opposed to what he's doing, she might try to confront him at some point. It's hard to imagine her forgiving Tatsuma and Sikue. Aside from killing her dragon, the two may have some importance to the Keeper's plans. 9) I agree with RebelVampire, the forest backgrounds are always nice and complementary to the atmosphere. The sound effects represented as words (...idk what they're called, onomatopoeias?) are used to a good effect too. They're never just the usual generic sound effects, they always seem custom-tailored to each specific situation. :D 11) The characters are a fantastic aspect of the comic. The dynamic between the main three makes it so fun to read. Also, the comic is good at presenting little insights and hints about the world throughout the characters' journey. It's kinda hard to explain, but the world feels very 'alive' and vibrant. 12) Yokiro was patient and demonstrated good will with Kenber, and it seemed to make a real impression on the kid, so it's hard not to view what he did as commendable. I really liked that arc. 13) I'm excited to potentially see the benta settlement. It sounds like a decent place from Elvalkol's description, but I wonder what's it really like with the Keeper in charge? Seeing Yokiro's family would be cool as well. Anyways, final thoughts: this comic really does feel special in a way. The characters are memorable, and all of the different parts of it are treated with care.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Beyond Bloom this week! Please also give a special thank you to NiaNook for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Beyond Bloom, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://beyondbloom.webcomic.ws/

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #beyond bloom #nianook #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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Seriously, for fuck’s sake, I know that post was AT LEAST as far back as December, if not more, and it literally had less than ten notes just two hours ago.

But remember! I’m on a fucking CRUSADE! I just want to take away peoples’ rape fics and harmless kiddie porn fantasies and I just can’t respect the fact that as long as people just TAG their ‘herein lies my advertisement of the fact that hahaha, omg I think what happened to you is actually kinda hot and sexy giggle giggle aren’t I so TABOO????’ smut like lol okay, well that doesn’t affect me at all, I’m not remotely bothered by having to spend every single day wading through reminders of how much more fascinating people find rape than actual survivors of said things.

I’m the one who has no idea how to live in a society with other people and suck it up and deal with the fact that sometimes, people do and say things that make us uncomfortable and we wish we could avoid, but just shut the fuck up and keep that to yourself, right? Don’t like....TELL people they’ve made you uncomfortable and are doing things that you wish they’d think about more critically, gosh, all that’s gonna do is make THEM uncomfortable then, why couldn’t you just kept it to yourself, how dare you think TALKING about problems is the solution?????

Yup yup, I’m clearly the one who has no boundaries and no regard for other people and can’t let people just have their harmless fun, their different opinions that don’t actually affect me, I’m the one who just can’t seem to stop from hunting down posts I don’t agree with and hopping on other blogs and resurrecting weeks or months old posts just to make sure EVERYONE KNOWS THIS POST WAS WROOOOOOONG. Lmao.

Well I’m very sorry for all that, now that mine eyes have been opened! Rape fics are harmless and this is all just fictional, nobody is actually affected in a negative way by anything being talked about here yaaaaaaay!

Anyway, I’m off to spend the rest of the night trying to calm down lolol because fun fact for people who love to talk about being triggered but have no real clue what they’re actually talking about and how that word was never meant to describe being like...upset or angry but rather the stimuli or situations that put survivors and people with PTSD and other mental disorders into actual goddamn panic spirals and attacks. And thus like, triggers are not as fucking obvious as some of you seem to think they are.

Like lol guess what, I actually can read a scene wherein someone’s raping someone in a scene that looks or sounds EXACTLY LIKE MY RAPE and it can be heart-wrenching and it can be graphic and it can be emotional and I can still not be triggered by that! Know why? Because shockingly, I AM aware that this is just fictional! That these are just fictional characters! That no fictional character and no real person has been harmed in the writing of this scene, because FICTIONAL CHARACTERS CAN’T BE HARMED! Know what else fictional characters can’t be? RAPED. Because rape is not a VISUAL, rape is not an ACTION, rape is not a SPECIFIC SEQUENCE OF EVENTS. Rape is a THEFT, it is one person STEALING another person’s ability to control what happens with their body, taking what they have no right to take, just because they WANT to, just because they CAN. And thus NO rape scene, no matter HOW well written or realistically depicted, is ever going to BE a rape scene, just like no ‘rape fantasy’ roleplay is ever going to BE rape because without an actual DYNAMIC of one person taking something the other person has no power to stop, when its two equally consenting partners or two flat fictional characters on a page, it is still nothing more than a SIMULATION of rape, and NEVER ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT.

And guess what? I can handle THAT just fine. THAT doesn’t trigger me no matter how much it reminds me of my own trauma, because I KNOW DAMN WELL THAT ISN’T REAL.

But you know what IS real? You know what DOES trigger me? The CONTEXT of the scene. The REASON it was written, the intended REACTION of the reader.

The part that makes me lose my fucking shit is when I’m forced to face the reality that this scene exists, was written, because somebody found it HOT and SEXY and wanted to share it with people who’d see it the same way. The reason I lose my goddamn MIND and my adrenaline ramps up and my whole body starts shaking as my fight or flight instincts kick in with no actual outlet because there’s no actual threat, just the phantom reminder of a threat I couldn’t escape from....THAT fun little adventure comes from looking or hearing about things that remind me of my rape, take me back to that fucking room and make me a terrified out of my goddamn mind dumbass nineteen year old all over again.....and knowing that this is HOT to the writer and readers, that this is intended as sexually gratifying, that this scene, this depiction, this simulation of one person STEALING from another powerless person SOMETHING THEY WILL NEVER EVER FUCKING BE ABLE TO GET BACK AS LONG AS THEY LIVE, THE SENSE OF SAFETY AND SECURITY THAT COMES FROM BEING THE ONLY PERSON WHO GETS TO DECIDE WHO HAS ACCESS TO YOUR BODY....knowing that this little smutty fic exists so people can read this and be TURNED ON by this, so they can GET OFF to this, this thing they’re looking at in their mind, reading about, picturing as they stare down at their screen getting all hot and bothered....

JUST LIKE MY FUCKING RAPIST LOOKED WHEN GETTING OFF FROM TAKING THOSE THINGS FROM ME.

THAT is what fucking triggers me, THAT is what makes me feel unsafe and panicky, THAT is what traps me all over again in that fucking goddamn room and leaves me STUCK there no matter how many years its been and HOW far I’ve come in getting past it...

THE CONSTANT NEVER ENDING REMINDER THAT PEOPLE THINK ITS TOTALLY NO BIG DEAL TO FUCKING AGREE WITH MY RAPIST ABOUT HOW FUCKING HOT AND SATISFYING THE VIEW IS FROM UP THERE.

And all the fucking trigger warnings in the world don’t protect me from THAT, they just emphasize how little people actually give a shit, they just want the magic answer to how they can have their fun ‘harmless’ little rape KINK without having someone make them feel bad for the fact that the rank goes FUN RAPE FANTASIES YAY first and survivors who have a problem with that way the fuck last.

Anyway, so that’s what I’ll be doing all night! Links to my paypal and my ko-fi are on my main blog page if anyone’s ever felt informed or learned anything from any of my many, many, MANY posts about this stuff or any form of gratitude for the effort I DO or at least once DID put into sorting through my thoughts and making my points in some kind of way that actually addresses the usual conversations around all this.

Because guess what? It IS goddamn fucking emotional labor. It DOES take work! Its EXHAUSTING. It HURTS. I would give anything in the world to NOT pick at that giant fucking scab as often as I do, but I DONT HAVE THAT OPTION. Because not talking about it DOESNT MAKE IT GO AWAY. It doesn’t make LESS for me to have to navigate through every goddamn day of my life and you know what the suggested response to problems that you can’t fix on your own are? Problems with SOCIETY?

HAVING GODDAMN CONVERSATIONS ABOUT IT.

So excuse me for SAYING that as often as I do especially cuz every time I DO I get maybe ten notes of acknowledgment that anyone’s even fucking LISTENING but meanwhile here’s another fucking five hundred on a Batfam or X-Men shit post, now THAT’S the content people want from me!

Guess what! I WANT THAT TO BE MY CONTENT TO!

I would LOVE nothing more than to just be able to happily and comfortably shitpost about my favorite superheroes and write stuff I enjoy and that doesn’t have the flaws I rant about seeing in so many shows and books. I could talk for HOURS about fun thoughts and ideas I have in my head, I could banter back and forth with my friends about nothing of substance at all for DAYS, I don’t NEED to fucking retraumatize myself every goddamn day screaming into the void about this shit so I can feel IMPORTANT or have something INTERESTING to blog about or whatever the fuck people think is my reason for ranting about this shit. ALL. THE. GODDAMN. TIME.

But I can’t do that, because there is not a fucking day that goes by, not a DAY where SOMETHING doesn’t cross my dash, or SOMETHING isn’t on an Ao3 page I’m searching through for fic about a fave character, that doesn’t set me off and make my body start shaking with how deeply, fundamentally UPSETTING it is to constantly be bombarded with reminders of just how easy people find it to reframe my trauma as something hot and sexy and WAY MORE WORTH DEFENDING than the very thought of me going ONE FUCKING DAY without having to stumble across bullshit like that. Because I CAN’T ‘dont like/dont read’ as much is out there. I don’t need to click on a fic to see this is smut fic by an author who thinks rape is hot and judging from the number of kudos and comments and hits is definitely on to something! GUESS I DID MY RAPE WRONG THEN, cuz it wasnt fucking hot for me!

I would love to just ‘avoid’ it so I can actually ENJOY my fucking time on the internet. But I CANT. Because its EVERYWHERE. And god forbid I try and start fucking CONVERSATIONS about that so that maybe, someday, after we’ve done the work as a society to examine WHY PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING INVESTED IN THIS STUFF, I or at the very least people like me, can someday enjoy one day on the internet where they DONT have to constantly wade through an endless swamp of that shit.

Honestly. Seriously. I have said it so often I can not count. I do not want to censor anyone. I do not want power over what people can read or write. I just. want. to TELL people that when they write this stuff, it has CONSEQUENCES, that there are people it DOES hurt, and have them LISTEN, so that at least, at LEAST the ones who are bothered enough by that realization to NOT be comfortable writing it when faced with the awareness of the fact that their writing HAS THIS EFFECT WHETHER WE SAY IT TO THEIR FACES OR NOT, that THEY at least can decide....hey. What if I just...wrote something else instead?

But what the FUCK am I supposed to do with the constant, incessant reminder that people would rather dig in their heels in defense of their RAPE FANTASIES than roll up their sleeves and do a little fucking examination of WHY they and society at large are so fucking invested in this shit that the very IDEA of ‘giving up’ content like this for the sake of people who have actually LIVED through it, is just....INCOMPREHENSIBLE to them? That they feel ATTACKED by the very idea?

(And don’t fucking come at me with that ‘some survivors use it to cope’ stuff. Yeah, well I used to get in bar fights as my coping mechanism. Didn’t fucking mean it was healthy, and it wasn’t fucking harmless to anyone I punched in the goddamn face, now was it? Also, if you’re not a survivor and you hide behind that line, FEEL FUCKING ASHAMED for thinking of it as a kneejerk response to another survivor telling you your “kink” fucking hurts).

I’m out. See you all later.

#rape cw

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random-french-girl · 5 years

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2018 Year in Review

Rules: answer the questions about 2018 and tag some people!

Tagged by: @sebrone thanks friend <3

Top 5 films you watched in 2018:

rip I barely watched any movies......

Black Panther was def the best movie I saw though, no question

The Miseducation of Cameron Post made me extremely emotional and like. God. It’s very important to me for Reasons.

Colette was a lot of fun??

Crazy Rich Asians was cute???

does it count if I rewatched The Sound of Music for the millionth time...

Top 5 TV shows in 2018:

Killing Eve. What a goddamn DELIGHT.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power! I fell in love with this show guys. They did the whole child soldiers/abuse survivors thing so well, and still managed to be a fun silly show with lots of humor and heart. <3

Legends of Tomorrow, because it’s the most ridiculous mess and I greatly enjoy it.

RWBY!!! I binge watched the whole thing this summer and did not expect volume three to kick me in the FACE and actually make me care about the story... AND YET HERE WE ARE. After that...it was over for me. I love the four main girls with all my heart and also I am so completely INVESTED in blake and yang’s relationship... pray for my soul etc

The Good Place has been consistently great.

ALSO KILLJOYS! My fave scifi show with the most wonderful heroine and a side of found family feels!!

Top 5 songs of 2018:

??? I don’t...listen to music that much...

I did listen obsessively to Dirty Computer all summer. Thank you Janelle Monae for the best album ever.

Also All That Matters and BMBLB on the RWBY soundtrack ngl!! I have a lot of feelings about these songs and my girls blake and yang!!!

ok I’m just gonna add “Your Turn to Roll” from Critical Role because they deserve it

I ALMOST FORGOT NOBODY BY MITSKI who am i. I had that song on repeat for a full month.

and let’s just say France Gall because <3 forever