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#your compassion is incomplete if it doesn't include yourself
thepeacefulgarden · 9 months
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latveriastrong · 1 year
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cw // personal stuff, child neglect and emotional honesty and all that kind of thing
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My mother left when I was 6. I didn't mind it terribly, she'd made it clear I was an unwanted burden from about age 2 and, idk. The term "wire mother" comes to mind. I still don't really feel anything about it, she was simply an absence to my life. Children adapt.
I understand now that she had a lot going on. Still sucked, but I understand it. I was born with a heart defect and a sickly child is... can be a struggle, even for the most stable of parents, who desperately want them.
I used to practice staying quiet and pretending to be one of my stuffed animals. Don't recall if it was her idea or mine, but I got real good at it. I could just disconnect from myself for hours, playing in my head.
I wouldn't say I was poorly socialized by school age, so much as like, semi-feral? My older brother took it upon himself to teach me how to interact like a normal human. He had dyslexia, like me, and ADHD, and a comic book collection.
Cloth mother.
He was of mixed descent, Black and Latino. His father, like my father, had a "year-round tan," just of a different shade.
My mother was white. Irish, she insisted. I believe the family may actually have Romanichal roots in the UK, but they weren't Irish. We don't know her real surname, so nothing can be researched.
Anyway. My first word was my brother's name. We were close. And I wish there were a happier ending there, but yeah. He died trying to break up a fight, I don't like to get into the details. I don't fully understand them.
I think, though, that if you have enough things taken away from you often enough, you lose the ability to share your toys and play nicely.
I wasn't taught better. Without meaning to, I was taught that life is a giant schoolyard where you either learn to fight dirty and hold your precious things close to your chest always, or have nothing.
This whole stupid baring of my soul on here thing is like. Mostly hormonal, maybe (I have been listening to Neko Case for 48 hours, please send help) but also part of something that struck me like a tire iron on my way to work this morning: I internalized that who I am as a person is essentially unlovable at an early age. That I had to give something to be seen as worth anything. Ideally while doing a song and dance number so no one got a peek at the Actual Me under all the noise.
I don't think that can be true, though, if I also feel that all humans have an innate and immutable worth. If your compassion doesn't include yourself, it's incomplete, right?
I deserved to have a childhood. Buying things as an adult doesn't fix the absence of that. It doesn't replace what's missing. In some ways it just makes me angrier? But mostly it feels like a grim fuck-you to a wire mother who couldn't possibly care less. As empty a gesture as they make 'em.
So I'm gonna try playing with my toys instead, as an adult person, because I like that and it's fun.
This might be the first fully genuine post I've ever made here. I don't know how I feel about that. It's not meant to "fix" anything, address anything, it's just. Me, I guess? Wanting to exist and be seen. Hello, world! Something like that.
ETA: I know I've generally used "Hex" and I still prefer it, but I've always quite liked the name "Michael," if I had to choose a real person name, a legal one, it would probably be that. I'm just scared to say so irl ever bc it has baggage for others in my life. So, yeah. Just "Hex."
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hi kat, i hope you're doing well! recently saw a cat with a collar that said "if your compassion does not include yourself, it's incomplete" and it reminded me of this blog! so,,,uh. I know my mother doesn't care for me. she's not a good person and I'm very happy that I've come far enough to recognize that. however, I genuinely care for my father and he's a fantastic, supportive dad. when I came out to my parents, he hugged me and told me he loved me while my mother ignored me for a week. (1)
"I feel really bad for causing rifts between my parents relationship because I know they love each other, but when I’m in the picture there’s a lot of tension bc my dad doesn’t want to argue with my mother, but he doesn’t like the way she acts towards me sometimes. same goes for my siblings, my older sister gets into tifs with our mother as well and I feel really really bad for causing them. i guess I just wanted to tell someone about it who is seems like a functional adult. thanks a ton !! (2)"
YOU are not causing rifts between your parents. It honestly sounds like YOUR MOM is the one causing problems in the family by being mean, uncaring and immature - and your dad SHOULD be upset about that. So don't blame yourself for contributing to the tension at home. It's not YOUR fault that you don't have a good relationship with your mom, that much is clear to me. So please don't blame yourself for this situation. Your mom is the one who's doing something wrong, not you. She's the one who's causing rifts by failing as a parent.
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kimxblht-17 · 4 years
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𝙌𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙃𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙚
Let’s not lose hope in humanity, instead live to help others. we are able to make a difference"
What does hope for humanity really mean?
According to the urban dictionary Hope for humanity is a beautiful thing and might create peace. Sadly it disappeared years ago. and is solely employed in when exaggerating. Humanity is what keeps us alive int his world. It shows our love for our fellow people human being, there are all kinds of individuals on earth good or bad but you as somebody's should never lose your hope from humanity. Hope is an optimistic state of mind that's supported an expectation of positive outcomes with relevancy events and circumstances in one's life or the globe at large. Humanity is that the mankind, which contains everyone on Earth. it's a virtue related to basic ethics of altruism derived from the human condition. It also symbolizes human love and compassion towards one another. Humanity differs from mere justice therein there's tier of altruism towards individuals included in humanity more so than the fairness found in justice. That is, humanity, and thus the acts of affection, altruism, and social intelligence are typically individual strengths while fairness is usually expanded to any or all. Humanity could even be classed united of six virtues that are consistent across all cultures.
Why does Humanity is Important?
We all people have a unique religion. Religion could even be a broad entity that has to add some higher purpose to one’s life and keep you grounded. it is not just a group of rules and teachings that you simply simply simply must devote your life to. It’s what you take from any religion that’s important. All religions give the teachings of affection, peace and unity so as for us to assist one another and humanity. It should be something to believe, and not just something to define our very actions and thoughts. the foremost important requirement is peace. Where there's peace there's abundance. on behalf of me the foremost important religion is humanity, during this world full of chaos we'd like humanity and being an honest individual defines you everywhere. All that you just simply just must work upon is being helpful to the needy within the smallest amount times and each place. Being loving and caring towards all living beings even plants and animals, and particularly to understand another person’s problem and realize the situations they're in and be considerate. Humanity means caring for and helping others whenever and wherever possible. Humanity means helping others sometimes once they need that help the foremost, humanity means forgetting our selfish interests occasionally when others need our help. Humanity means extending unconditional opt to each and each living being on Earth. If eating and having fun is solely what we are born to try and do and do, then we must always keep one thing in mind even animals can do that. One doesn't need a hefty checking account to contribute towards and humanitarian activities. There are lots of humanity that we are ready to make even during an easy doing like, paying our servant fairly is additionally humanity. Lifting the heavy bag for an old woman is humanity, helping a disabled person to cross the road is humanity, helping our mother in chores is humanity, helping our classmate to understand the lesson, within the end helping anyone who is in need is humanity. As soon as we understand the importance of humanity in day to day life, the aim that we are on Earth is automatically fulfilled.
Humanity features a great Impact
In spite of positive changes in recent decades, conflicts still rage in many of our countries. Attacks on civilian populations and objects are commonplace. many thousands of individuals are forced to travel away their homes. International humanitarian law is typically flouted. Highly destructive natural disasters still shatter the lives of giant numbers of individuals. New and old diseases cause widespread suffering. Health services and social and economic systems struggle to pander to increasing demands. The weakest round the world still suffer most.
In the face of this we commit ourselves:
-to bring real help and luxury, wherever it's needed, to save {lots of|to avoid wasting} to avoid wasting lots of and improve the lives of millions;
-to reinforce our collective commitment to international humanitarian law;
-to campaign for human dignity and thus the responsibility of every one in every people to assist others, without discrimination, to mitigate the implications of disasters and war;
-to support the ample organization and Red Crescent volunteers across the planet who daily embody the humanitarian commitment.
“The power of humanity” is that the strength of individual commitment and also the force of collective action. Both must be mobilized to alleviate suffering, ensure respect for human dignity and ultimately create a more humane society.
These are some Ways to demonstrate Humanity in line with Leo Babauta:
Too often the trend in our society is for people to be separated from either other, to be discontinue from the great mass of humanity, and in doing so to be dehumanized a touch bit more with each step. Cars have taken us off the streets, where we accustomed greet each other and stop to speak. Cubicles have detached atiny low amount of the humanity in working, as have factories and even computers to some extent. Television has planted us firmly in our living rooms, instead of out with others. Even movie theaters, where many of us get together, cut us aloof from true conversation because we’re viewing an enormous screen. And while I’m not railing against any of these inventions (except perhaps the cubicle), what we must guard against is that the tendency of that individuality to have us focused on ourselves to the exclusion of our fellow personalities. The tendency towards selfishness rather than giving, on helping ourselves rather than helping our brothers and sisters in humanity. I’m not saying we’re all like that, but it can happen, if we’re not careful. So retaliate against the selfishness and greed of our present, and psychoanalysis a fellow soul today. Not next month, but today. Helping a fellow person, while it'll be inconvenient, includes some humble advantages:
-It makes you to feel better about yourself; -It connects you with another person, a minimum of for a flash, if not for life; -It improves the lifetime of another, a minimum of a little;
-It makes the world a more robust place, one little step at a time;
-And if that kindness is passed on, it can multiply, and multiply. So take just a few minutes today, and do a kindness for yet one more person. It are often something small, or the start of something big. Ask them to pay it forward. Put a smile on someone’s face. Don’t know where to start? Here’s a very incomplete list, just to induce you thinking, I’m sure you will be able to come up with thousands more if you're thinking that about it. -Smile and be friendly. Sometimes a straightforward little thing like this could put a smile and warm feeling in someone else’s heart, and make their day a small amount better. they might then do the identical for others.
-Call a charity to volunteer. You don’t must move to a charity today. Just search the number, make the choice, and make a rendezvous to volunteer sometime within the subsequent month. it'll be whatever charity you want. Volunteering is one in every of the foremost amazing stuff you'll do.
-Donate something you don’t use. Or a complete box of somethings. Drop them off at a charity, others can put your clutter to good use.
-Make a donation. There are many ways to donate to charities online, or in your area people. instead of buying yourself a replacement gadget or outfit, spend that benefit an exceedingly more positive way. -Redirect gifts. instead of having people provide you with birthday or Christmas gifts, ask them to donate gifts or money to a selected charity.
-Stop to help. the subsequent time you see someone pulled over with a tire, or somehow in need of help, stop and ask how you'll help. Sometimes all they need could also be a push, or the use of your movable.
-Teach. Take the time to point out someone a skill you recognize. this may be teaching your grandma to use email, teaching your child to ride a motorbike, teaching your co-worker a valuable computer skill, teaching your spouse the thanks to clean the darn toilet. OK, that last one doesn’t count. -Comfort someone in grief. Often a hug, a helpful hand, a kind word, a listening ear, will go a protracted way when someone has lost a beloved or suffered some similar loss or tragedy.
-Help them take action. If someone in grief seems to be lost and doesn’t know what to do and do, help them do something. It may be making funeral arrangements, it is making a doctor’s appointment, it would be making phone calls. Don’t hump all yourself allow them to require action too, because it helps within the healing process.
-Buy food for a homeless. Cash is sometimes a foul idea if it’s visiting be used for drugs, but buying a sandwich and chips or something like that's a good gesture. Be respectful and friendly.
-Lend your ear. Often someone who is unhappy, depressed, angry, or frustrated just needs someone who will listen. Venting and talking through a problem could be a huge help.
-Help someone on the sting. If someone is suicidal, urge them to urge help. If they don’t, call a suicide hotline or doctor yourself to induce advice.
-Help someone get active. someone in your life who wants to induce healthy might need a aid offer to travel walking or running together, to affix a gym together. Once they start, it can have profound effects. -Do a chore. Something small or big, like cleaning up or washing a car or doing the dishes or cutting a lawn.
-Give a massage. only appropriate in fact. But a massage can go an extended thanks to making someone feel better. -Send a pleasant email. Just a fast note telling someone what quantity you appreciate them, or how proud you're of them, or simply saying many thanks for something they did. -Show appreciation, publicly. Praising someone on a blog, ahead of coworkers, before of family, or in another public way, may be a good way to form them feel better about themselves.
-Donate food. Clean out your cupboard of tinned goods, or buy a pair bags of groceries, and donate them to a homeless shelter.
-Just be there. When someone you recognize is in need, sometimes it’s just good to be there. Sit with them. Talk. support if you'll be able to. -Be patient. Sometimes people can have difficulty understanding things, or learning to try and do something right. Learn to wait and see with them.
-Tutor a baby. This may well be difficult to try and do today, but often parents can’t afford to rent a teacher for his or her child in need of help. Call a faculty and volunteer your tutoring services.
-Create a care package. Soup, written language, tea, chocolate, anything you're thinking that the person might need or enjoy. Good for somebody who is sick or otherwise in need of a pick me up.
-Lend your voice. Often the powerless, the homeless, the neglected in our world need someone to talk up for them. You don’t must tackle that cause by yourself, but join others in signing a petition, speaking up a council meeting, writing letters, and otherwise making a requirement heard.
-Offer to babysit. Sometimes parents need a prospect. If a fan or other dearest in your life doesn’t get that chance fairly often, call them and offer to babysit sometime. founded an arrangement. It can make an enormous difference.
-Love. Simply finding ways to precise your like to others, whether or not it's your partner, child, other friend, friend, co-worker, or a whole stranger, just express your love. A a form word, spending time, showing little kindnesses, being friendly, it all matters quite you recognize.
The purpose of life isn't to be happy. it's to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to own it make some difference that you simply have lived and lived well. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
https://zenhabits.net/25-ways-to-help-a-fellow-human-being-today/
@queenlupitajones
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thepeacefulgarden · 9 months
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