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very-grownup · 1 month

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So a couple years ago, I fell into watching Chinese dramas and because my posts about the most recent one garnered some curiosity, here are the dramas what I have watched.

Hikaru no Go

DID YOU KNOW. DID YOU KNOW. THAT IN 2020 THERE WAS A CHINESE DRAMA ADAPTATION OF HIKARU NO GO AND IT IS AMAZING AND MADE ME CRY ALL OVER AGAIN? It is faithful in spirit while making understandable alterations both for the setting and to avoid managing child actors for the entirety of the series (there are about six episodes with Hikaru/Shi Guang as an elementary school student before a time jump to high school).

If you are unfamiliar with Hikaru no Go I recommend becoming familiar with Hikaru no Go, my first and still one of the best sports manga. It's what Takeshi Obata was the artist on before Death Note and my hot take is that Obata post-Hikaru no Go is mid at best.

Hikaru no Go is a sports series about the most normal boy finding an antique go board that houses the soul of an ancient go master who died too young and with go regrets, so he bullies/guilts the boy into helping him play go so he can see or play a divine go move. In the process he acquires a rival/stalker in the form of the genius son of a go master. It's amazing and the drama absolutely does it justice.

The heart of the series is the relationship between Hikaru/Shi Huang and Fujiwara no Sai/Chu Ying.

It's just a fucking good series.

The Untamed

According to one description on imdb, this is about two friends solving a series of murders. This is technically true, although it neglects to mention a few details.

Sixteen years after doing a whole lot of demonic blood magic shit and dying because of it, hated by society, Wei Wuxian (Xiao Zhan) is brought back from the dead by more super demonic blood magic and is recognized by his noble and esteemed peer/friend Lan Wangji (Wang Yibo) and trying to deal with why Wei Wuxian has been brought back from the dead leads to their investigating a series of murders that result in their becoming entangled in wider political schemes stretching back twenty years.

It's got weird pacing, prolonged flashbacks to explain a lot of the relationship dynamics, and basically an entirely self-contained sub-story that brings the main plot to a grinding halt. There are creatures and CGI effects of interesting quality. There are amazing wigs. There are piles of corpses. There's physical torture and emotional torture and some doomed love stuff and sword fights and musical instrument fights and a donkey and chicken theft and brotherhood and what you're willing to sacrifice for your goals and what goals you're willing to sacrifice for and it is based on a novel that ends in the protagonists raw dogging on the side of the road.

That part's not in the show.

Douluo Continent

Ignorant country boy Tang San (Xiao Zhan) finds himself involved in the world of martial arts and magic after discovering a hidden talent and ends up in the group of fellow martial artists who are all weird or unorthodox or hiding crucial bits of their backstory like girl who is actually a rabbit and immediately decides Tang San is her best friend/husband (Wu Xianyi), guy who needs to become powerful enough to kill his older brother (Gao Taiyu), girl who rejected an engagement to the would-be brother killer and wants to fight him (Liu Mei Tong), guy who wants to ditch martial arts to become a great actor (Liu Run Nan), and girl who is too rich to be here (Ding Xiaoying). They learn together, they grow together, they fight monsters and embark on a tournament arc, and there's an overarching mystery about Tang San and his weak but simultaneously super powerful spirit summoning.

Even though the best technique is clearly the one where the boy in question can summon a sausage that you eat and heals you.

It's very much of a specific genre that can be pretty samey, but Douluo Continent has a charming cast that makes up for its predictable plot beats.

It does end on a cliffhanger that is possibly resolved in the sequel series where ... all the main characters were recast with, I'm guessing, slightly less pricey actors. Such is the way of things.

Word of Honour

Do you like knowing what's going on? Then get the fuck out of here, Word of Honour is not for you. Real ones want to be immediately submerged into chaos and confusion and secret identities. You want Mr Bones' Wild Ride in plot form. Why has former superassassin Zhou Zishu (Zhang Zhe Han) abandoned the sect of assassins he created to live in wandering drunk anonymity as he slowly dies? Why is Wen Kexing (Gong Jun) stalking him aside from poorly censored horny desires? Is Wen Kexing actually a ghost? Can any of the impressionable youths attaching themselves to Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing be stopped from their very poor choices in role models? What is up with this legendary hidden armoury and why do Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing seem unable to escape the conspiracy around it? HOW HARD IS IT TO GET WOLONG'S FAMOUS NUTS?

Not recommended for people who constantly want to know what's happening or why X is doing Y, but great if you want to watch with someone and then after an episode, walk your dogs and try to figure out what's going on and what's going to happen (you will be wrong).

Advance Bravely

What if the most ridiculously unrealistic and unhinged slashfic by a teenage girl who doesn't fully understand anything was adapted into a drama series where censorship means everything must be painted with a special "no homo" brush? You get Advance Bravely which is the most incoherently homoerotic thing I've ever watched. No one thinks you should watch Advance Bravely and you watch Advance Bravely and you agree but sometimes you just have to watch a beautiful trainwreck where the protagonist explains his lack of a girlfriend with erectile dysfunction and the series climax involves his being, essentially, trapped in a well.

Love Between Fairy and Devil

DO YOU WANT TO GO FULL SHOUJO MANGA FANTASY?

Innocent fairy Orchid (Yu Shuxin) just wants to strengthen her immortal spirit and pass the exam that would let her serve in the palace of the fairy capital so she can catch glimpses of the War God Chang Heng (Zhang Ling He) who she is hopelessly in love with. Instead, an attempt to help her crush causes her to bumble her way into the high security spiritual prison that has held Dongfang Qingcang, the Moon Supreme (Dylan Wang), for 30,000 years.

DO YOU LIKE BIG NUMBERS BECAUSE YOU WILL GET TO SEE SOME BIG NUMBERS IN TERMS OF TIME SPAN AND AGES.

Because of some plot magic, Orchid and the Moon Supreme swap bodies and loophole out of prison, much to her distress. Their fates are tied together and Orchid becomes more familiar with the wider world and the politics between the realms and how much the fairy realm's supreme ruler fucking suuuuuuuuuuuucks while Moon Supreme finds himself having feelings again after they were tortured out of him in a mystical coffin prison as a child.

Moon Supreme's closest friend is a dragon. Orchid's closest friend is an opportunistic snakeoil saleswoman. There's a pissy younger brother and a bitchy but honourable love rival. There are secret origins and reincarnation and hidden identities and the way it alternates broad comedy and melodrama and sweet romance may give you whiplash.

I just love a bodyswap, you guys.

Sailor Moon vibes but Mamoru is actually interesting and becomes likeable.

Guardian

Okay so the best thing about Guardian is not only that it's a censored adaptation of a novel with a same-sex romance, but that /the entire premise/ is altered for television purposes.

The novel is steeped in Chinese folk religion and the Underworld is real and mythical creatures secretly walk among us.

In the show?

ALIENS, BABY.

Ghosts? THOSE AREN'T REAL BECAUSE HUMANS DON'T HAVE SOULS, THEY'RE JUST ENERGY BEINGS.

It's so ridiculous it's endearing.

Anyway, it's about bros solving mysteries with a Monster of the Week vibe until it becomes about possibly the end of the world and alien domination and evil twins.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook

IT'S TIME TO SOLVE CRIMES. IN ANCIENT CHINA.

Quack doctor Li Lianhua (Cheng Yi) is just trying to live a quiet life with his dog and his horse-drawn house. Fang Duobing (Joseph Zeng) just wants to gain admittance into the martial art cop organization that's carrying on the legacy of his dead teacher, Li Xiangyi, who was maybe never actually his teacher and also wasn't killed ten years previously by Di Fei Sheng (Xiao Shunyao), the head of an evil martial arts sect who is also not dead. Not nearly as many people as people think are dead! Identities are cleverly hidden behind pseudonyms and various levels of mask!

Crimes are solved and Li Lianhua is very tired about the whole thing. It's an unwilling buddy cop sort of thing until it becomes about youthful hubris and the sins of the past and also one woman's determination to conquer the world and give it to the man she loves, even if he doesn't want the world and also doesn't love her. We love a woman who takes what she wants and if necessary cuts a man's tendons and imprisons him in a torture pool so his blood can't clot until he agrees to be her wife, don't we, folks?

Folks?

Story of Kunning Palace

The scheming empress Jiang Xue Ning (Bai Lu) dies and wakes up, eighteen-years-old, at the point in her life where she's on the verge of making the start of the decisions that lead her to the Very Bad End. She is going to make different decisions this time and prevent the things she regrets and avoid becoming the empress at all costs.

What you need to know about Story of Kunning Palace is that Bai Lu could have chemistry with a rock and she inadvertently collects a bisexual harem. Her end game love interest is Xie Wei (Zhang Ling He), the man who killed her, an advisor to the emperor, music teacher, double or triple agent, and sufferer of vampire snow madness and a fear of cats, whether adorably fluffy or badly CGI'd. But she's in love with noble civil servant Zhang Zhe (Wang Xing Yue), a pure and hardworking man who she seduced into betraying his principles, leading to his imprisonment and probable death. However, her childhood friend Yan Lin (Zhou Jun Wei) is in love with her and previously she rejected him VERY HARSHLY after his family fell into disfavour due to political machinations and Jiang Xue Ning had cemented the likelihood of her marriage to the next emperor. Also there's Princess Le Yang (Liu Xie Ning), who Jiang Xue Ning made an enemy of after the Princess fell in love with her when Jiang Xue Ning was crossdressing and did not take the reveal of her true gender well. Xue Shu (Elisa Ye) is an unfavoured daughter of a scheming lord who was the only truly loyal person Jiang Xue Ning knew as empress. ALL OF THESE PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE WITH JIANG XUE NING and you look at Bai Lu and go 'yes, that makes sense'.

It's mostly about the politics and scheming and Jiang Xue Ning trying to find a way to have a stable, satisfying life without betraying everyone she knows and standing on a pile of corpses, but the love shape Jiang Xue Ning isn't fully aware she's in is comparable in complexity to the plots between ministers and lords and dowager empresses and cousins and rebels.

The choices the characters make are maybe not always the best choices, but DAMN are they a good time.

Story of Kunning Palace is also one of the only times I have begged a character in a show to take a particular action and then she DID IT and fuck it was satisfying.

The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty

IT'S TIME TO SOLVE CRIMES. IN ANCIENT CHINA. AGAIN. BUT WITHOUT MARTIAL ARTS.

Tang Fan (Darren Chen) is a low-ranking government official and detective genius who loves food and hates routine work, but loves a fucked up crime. Since he spends most of his money on delicious food, he writes trashy porn under a variety of pseudonyms to pay his rent. Sui Zhou (Fu Meng Bo) is an imperial guard and ex-soldier with PTSD who has no time for nonsense but loves the passionate pursuit of justice and food. He's also From Money and has a very empty house that Tang Fan whines his way into after they solve a case together. Everyone is manipulated by dangerously powerful eunuch Wang Zhi (Liu Yao Yuan) who is the enemy of basically everyone, except for Tang Fan, who has the political and social awareness of a rock.

An amiably pathetic man solves a variety of mysteries, from murder to complex imperial assassination plots and also this really complicated one involving diluting the purity of silver currency, and also the executive producer is Jackie Chan.

It's missing the romance subplot that I understand is in the source novel and also apparently there's an overarching plot involving a cult?! which we don't get here, but there's lots of bombs which are almost as good as a cult, maybe? (They're not.)

Divine Destiny

This is the one we're currently watching and the ride that this show is. How many plots can be crammed into one show? How many ridiculous but true things can I say about this show?

Ji Ruochen (Ma Tianyu) is an orphan who dreams of martial arts adventures. Raised by a couple who run a Crime Inn, one day a customer robbery goes very wrong when the customer turns out to be the latest incarnation of Yin Feng, the Banished God (Marius Wang). Ji Ruochen accidentally kills the Banished God and his foster parents promptly take the body into the desert and dump it down a cliff, but not before taking a necklace made from a piece of Gu Qing, the Blue Stone Goddess (Xuan Lu), which is supposed to let her recognize the Banished God in their final incarnation. Accidentally stealing the Banished God's identity, Ji Ruochen finds himself a hotly desired commodity by the cultivation sects who are all eager to have the Banished God as a disciple for prophecy reasons. He goes with Zhang Yinyin (Angelababy), a feisty, argumentative girl who has had to work extra hard because her spirit was contaminated by a demonic root planted by the evil nine-tailed fox who is poorly imprisoned in a cave anyone can access.

MEANWHILE some dudes with amazing moustaches and a penchant for laughing in delight at their own evil have found the body of the Banished God and done some questionable mystical shit to put him in a new body and nurture a grudge against Ji Ruochen for stealing his identity.

THEN Gu Qing meets Ji Ruochen and like everyone else assumes he's the Banished God and she falls in love with him (Gu Qing having been a literal rock spirit who cultivated to immortality under the guidance of the Banished God, who followed her into the mortal realm and a cycle of 100 incarnations after Gu Qing accidentally Did A Crime) but then falls in love with HIM.

ALSO Zhang Yinyin is always at risk of succumbing to the temptation of using the demonic fox power that is within her even though that will literally turn her into a demon but maybe it's worth it if a woman who is actually a goddess who is actually a rock is making eyes at the junior you brought into the sect and are in love with and you want to be more powerful than her?

ALSO what's the mysterious power that let Ji Ruochen kill the Banished God in the first place?

IS the woman seeking revenge for the death of the Banished God's mortal incarnation his sister or his cousin or his "cousin"?

WHY is the only love language of immortals stalking?

There's a homunculus and a baby snake demon who is the most precious angel in the world and so many evil dudes delighted in how evil they are and TWO GOOD AND ALIVE PARENTS and a pair of comical monks who have a special attack with a name they have to shout out every time they use it.

Oh and the imprisoned fox demon may have an ex who just hangs out on a rock in something called the Endless Ocean wearing a mask and playing go against the homunculus he made.

And there's an ancient master who lives in an ice mountain and eats memories of love.

Also some people might be secret demons.

There's some weddings.

There's a tiny woman with an ice sword who brutally murders so many dudes.

Do you like CGI birds?

Do you like giant mechanical CGI birds that are for riding purposes?

There's a desert hermit who has a son who is a giant tortoise.

So many things are going on and terrible decisions are constantly being made and it's over a week before I can watch another episode and it's driving me mad. WHAT WILL BE THE FALLOUT OF THE MOST RECENT BAD DECISIONS?

#cdrama #hikaru no go #the untamed #douluo continent #advance bravely #word of honor #love between fairy and devil #guardian #story of kunning palace #divine destiny #mysterious lotus casebook #the sleuth of the ming dynasty

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