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therealvinelle · 3 years

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Maybe this is bold of me to ask, but are there any deleted scenes from your fics, or scenes you had consideted writing but didn't? And if yes, would you be willing to share them someday?

Oh no problem!

Usually when a scene is deleted it stays deleted, so I don't have a lot to give you. There are a few things that were cut in betaing for various reasons, I can put a few of them below a readmore in this post.

There's the prologue that never was to Nebuchadnezzar's Dream, from back when the fic was supposed to be told alternately from Bella and Carlisle's respective points of view. In the prologue we saw how Bella, Alice, and Edward came to the point where they decided to overthrow the Volturi. Or, we would have, except I didn't actually like that prologue, and found myself jumping straight to writing chapter 2, the "Carlisle is at a party and gets attacked by a werewolf" chapter instead. My good beta @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin asked why I didn't simply make the whole fic from Carlisle's point of view, I realized she had an excellent point, now here we are.

For that matter, this is nowhere near the only significant change that happened to this fic during writing. One example, in the original outline I never brought up Carlisle's gift. Two significant things in the last chapter were not planned until after I published chapters twelve and thirteen, respectively (Luckily for me it'll look like I plotted them all along, so yay for that). For a tightly plotted fic, this one has had a lot of leeway.

Slight caveat, as I’m self-conscious: with most of these you will probably be able to tell why they’re deleted scenes. Especially the prologue. God, that prologue.

(Also, for the record yes I do write other things, but due to 1. being betaed, and 2. being long, I really only have examples for Nebuchadnezzar's Dream.)

The prologue that never was. Apologies for the fluff saturation:

The Babylonian king Nebuchadnezzar II once had a dream.

There was a statue that was gold on top, then silver, then copper, then iron, then clay and iron. As he watched, a rock struck its feet, and soon the whole statue crumbled, leaving nothing but rubble. The rock then grew into a great mountain that covered all the world.

This, the prophet Daniel told the king, was a message from Jehovah.

The statue represented five great human empires, the golden head being the Babylonian Empire, and the following three being those who would come after. The last would be both iron and clay, a divided kingdom. It will fall, and then the kingdom of Heaven will come, crushing those empires in its path.

Thousands of years later, in 1453, the Byzantine Empire fell. The last of the Roman Empire, a divided kingdom, had fallen.

The Christian world trembled, because reckoning was surely near. With the fall of this last, great human empire, all the world would fall to rubble.

Fifteen years had passed.

The Cullens had left Forks behind, settling in the small town of Grafton, Idaho. Carlisle had quickly settled into the new hospital, and Esme had designed a beautiful new home for them while the rest attended the new school. Jasper and Rosalie were Carlisle’s younger siblings while Bella, Edward, Renesmée and Esme comprised another set of siblings. Alice and Emmett were the fosters.

Jacob wasn’t far, he still lived with his old .

«Did you hear they all scored an A on Mr Rosen’s test? Seriously, all of them!»

The words were uttered by Jenna Gilbert, a blonde sophomore who reminded Bella very much of Jessica Stanley. She was sitting on the opposite end of the cafeteria from Bella and her family, though

«Jen, it’s the Cullens, that’s just what they do. You should stop comparing yourself…» her friend said soothingly.

Bella ducked her face into her hand to hide her smile, and winked at Alice, who grinned back at her.

It was Bella and Renesmée’s first time going to high school as a vampire. It was exactly what Edward and Alice had said it would be, for better and for worse.

For the worse, because she spent her days pretending to be a human girl, never using her strength or speed, pretending Edward wasn’t her husband and Renesmée wasn’t her daughter.

For the better, because she got to spend every day with Edward, Renesmée, and the rest of her new family. The others had done the high school routine too many times to see things the way she did, and Renesmée had never known a life without the Cullens, but to Bella, attending high school as one of Dr. Cullen’s adoptive kids felt like she had truly come full circle since that first day she spotted Edward in the cafeteria. She was one of them, truly, irrevocably, and high school was nothing if not a promise of the countless years to come surrounded by the people she loved.

Edward caught her eye, and she smiled back at him. She lowered her shield briefly to show him how happy she was to be with her family.

His face softened into that beautiful, lop-sided smile of his, and he leaned in to whisper into her ear, «You’ll be less happy when you’ve been through English 101,» he said.

«Hey, hey,» Jasper said quickly. «Don’t you dare, Edward, I need all the happiness I can get in this place.» He locked eyes with Bella. «Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it.»

Bella laughed, and rested her head on Edward’s shoulder. He placed his hand above hers on the table, and she smiled. «Not a problem, Jazz.»

Jenna’s voice caught her notice again. «Look at how they’re sitting! Try and tell me they’re not incestuous, Cam. Just try.»

Her friend didn’t reply to that one, although a quick glance informed Bella that the girl was staring at the Cullen table with a frown on her face.

Bella and Alice caught each others’ eye again, and this time they couldn’t hold back the giggles.

***********

Later in the day, Alice’s eyes lit up. «You’ll receive a letter from Stefan and Vladimir a week from now,» she chirped.

«Oh!» Bella exclaimed. «What does it say?»

«The usual,» Alice replied, her eyes slightly distant as she concentrated. «They hope we’re all doing well, and they included a new story of how things used to be before the Volturi. It’s the story of how they once built an entire temple for themselves in just one day. Oh, and they have a new phone number. O-seven nine six five nine six.»

Bella’s eyes widened as Alice talked. She hoped they had included drawings of that temple, it sounded incredible.

Bella hadn’t expected the Romanians to stay in touch, when they left after the thwarted battle with the Volturi she thought they would slink back into the old European shadows they had cloaked themselves in for that past several thousand few years, not to be heard from until some new threat to the Volturi loomed.

But no, that very next Christmas Bella had received a gift from them. It was an old, if flaked painting of Ivan the Terrible looking a lot like Vladimir, and a note from Vladimir explaining how he fooled all of Russia into believing he was their ruler for decades, all right beneath Aro’s nose. Carlisle had broken into a fit of uncharacteristic giggles when he heard that, and even agreed to put the painting in the hallway. To this day, he’d huff with silent laughter whenever he walked past it.

After that, Bella and the two Romanians had been in touch. They’d send her gifts, stories, and their own observations about the Volturi, and she’d respond fondly.

It was a very unlikely friendship, but she was was eternally grateful to all those who had stood with her family when the Volturi came. The Romanians were no exception,

«Are you going to call them?» Alice inquired.

Bella nodded. «They were going to tell me about their visit to Thebes.»

(Outline: Prologue of sorts. Status quo update, everyone’s happy except for the part where the Volturi are waiting to kill them. Alice, Bella, and Edward form their plan. Alice sees that she’s going to have to send Carlisle away, and coincidentally his hospital colleagues are having their Christmas weekend in Montana. PERFECT. She talks to him.)

***********

Heavily altered scene from chapter 7

Carlisle makes more jokes than he did in the final product, they're unfunny to the point where my beta said "you can't publish this", the plague joke in particular is a bit too dark for him so I gave it to Jane instead. More importantly, the chapter itself has a very weird, clunky start:

«Is it the gift of being profoundly unimpressed by ridiculous claims?» Carlisle deadpanned. «Because if so, Aro, I think you might be on to something.»

Several seconds had passed since Aro made his ridiculous claim. At first, Carlisle had burst out laughing. Then, as he realized he was the only person in the room laughing and Aro was staring at him in full seriousness, his laughter had trailed off and he’d been left to stare dully at Aro for several long seconds, waiting for Aro to crack up and say «gotcha!».

Aro never cracked up.

Carlisle had absolutely no idea what Aro was playing at, especially not immediately after Carlisle had very reluctantly decided against shutting him out of his life.

«You can’t be serious,» he’d said.

Aro had sighed. «I’m afraid I am.»

And now, at Carlisle’s deadpan guess, Aro only shook his head. «Not quite.»

Carlisle stared at him for another second, before he ventured another, scathing guess. «Are you hoping it’s the power of being highly suggestible? Because I definitely don’t have that, or I would have abandoned my diet centuries centuries ago.»

Aro just looked at him. «If you would let me explain-» he began, but Carlisle cut him off.

«No, no, you want to try and convince me I have some sort of gift, then I want to guess at what you’re going for,» he said, crossing his legs at the knee and propping his chin up on his knuckle in a faux-pensive look.

«Now,» he continued, even as Aro gave him the world’s most unimpressed glare, as if Carlisle was the one who was being ridiculous, «I’m pretty sure I would have noticed the power to throw fireballs by now, so it can’t be that,» he mused aloud. «Same goes for the power of…» he searched his mind, «turning into a bat. That one would definitely have come up at some point. Or maybe I should suspend myself upside down in a cave. See if it triggers anything. Just to be sure.»

«Carlisle,» Aro murmured, but Carlisle wasn’t done.

«Maybe I spread disease. My father certainly thought demons did. Maybe that’s why I get so many interesting patients. Those brain fungi,» he nodded towards Renata, who was still sitting with the book open in her lap, «I’ve had two in one year. That’s a lot.»

«Carlisle-» Aro tried again, but Carlisle held up a finger, a wide grin spreading across his face.

«The power to change my eye color. You see, yesterday they were black-»

Aro actually rolled his eyes at that. Of course, he made the insolent gesture look like a fluid, enchanting movement.

«Yes, quite funny, now if you would let me explain…» Aro tried again while Carlisle tried not to snicker at his own joke.

***********

Two deleted paragraphs from chapter 9. The alteration was made because it was a bit on the nose about what Renesmée does.

Humans were mammals, and mammals were hardwired to protect their young. This extended across species, making mother cats care for puppies and humans care for anything that was small and cute. The instinct to love and cherish anything cute and helpless was an evolutionary necessity, and had to run deeper than anything if a species wanted to survive.

Enter Jane, who was the smallest, cutest thing Carlisle had ever seen, but from a species humans instinctively knew to fear. Maybe the very fact that she was something that humans knew they should want to care for made their fear exponential, made it impossible to deny that something was very wrong about her, that they were looking at a predator.

Perhaps too there was something to vampires having retained some of that human instinct to protect their young, if the countless stories of covens dying to protect their immortal children was anything to go by. Carlisle himself had been no exception when the Volturi came for Renesmée, even as he found himself risking the lives of countless friends.

How far things had come, he thought, from preparing to die along with his loved ones at the hands of the Volturi to sitting across a café table with Jane and pitching costume ideas.

***********

Chapter 9 was heavily altered, mainly as it was too funny the first (and second!) time around and I kept having to return to insert more existential dread. A side effect of this is that Carlisle in the original draft was still undecided on whether he had a gift up until the very end of the chapter, whereas it's proven beyond a doubt much earlier in the published version.

Jane was looking a bit daunted, though it was nothing compared to how Carlisle felt.

Silently, they went to stand in front of one of the many sports stores that Whitefish had to offer.

«This could still be confirmation bias,» Carlisle whispered, and leaned against the wall. For all the human blood that was in his system, his knees felt oddly weak.

Jane let out a startled laugh. «You’re seriously still in denial?»

Carlisle shook his head quietly. «They reacted pretty reasonably, just because they didn’t run away screaming…»

«Reasonably?» Jane echoed dully. «Carlisle, you can’t actually…» she shook her head. «Remember that bubble we talked about?»

Carlisle put his head in his hands, and let his fingers move up, under the wig, pulling it off in one neat motion.

Jane shook her head at him. «You look even more glamorous with your real hair.»

Carlisle still said nothing, balling the wig together in his hands.

Could it be he actually had a gift?

***********

The chapter 11 outline originally had Renata and Carlisle failing to communicate like normal people because they've spent too much time with Aro, and unintentional innuendo keeps ruining their attempts to make polite small talk. Sadly (or happily) this is a lot easier to conceptualize than carry out in actual writing, and their conversation wound up being far too serious for that, so it was cut. Luckily for you I did pen Carlisle flashbacking to a time his foot got in his mouth:

The moment after the words were out her face scrunched up.

Carlisle snorted. «Aro is a horrible influence on us all.»

He remembered one of his first talks with Jasper, when they were still getting to know each other.

Jasper had been a little starstruck when he learned Carlisle’s friends in Italy were those Italians.

He’d asked Carlisle a lot of questions once he got past a misplaced sense of awe, wanting to put a face to the eternal, petrified, leaders of the vampire world.

During a hunt with just the two of them, Jasper had been asking about Aro’s gift.

«What do you even think about when you’re with him?» Jasper had marvelled aloud, and he would later explain that the way he say it, this was like the way the Egyptian gods supposedly measured souls.

Place your heart upon the balancing scale against the weight of a feather, and if your heart weighs heavier it is devoured by the demon Ammit.

Place your hand in Aro’s, and if he deems you guilty of breaking his law, you will be torn to pieces in the space of a second.

Being friends with the man sounded unbearably stressful to Jasper.

Unfortunately, Carlisle’s mind had gone in the opposite direction, and what came out of his mouth before he could stop himself was, «England.»

He’d covered well enough for that, or he hoped he had. Jasper never asked.

***********

Chapter 11 was also supposed to have Renata being brave enough to ask for a selfie with Carlisle when they're both in black robes, this because I just really want Edward to sift through the Volturi group chat after all this and finding that. Alas, I couldn't work it in there. (Determined to not lose the joke, I had Aro take the photos in chapter 12 instead.)

***********

Chapter 12, the fandom ghost requested I include another butt slap and offered me fanart if I fulfilled her wish.

And so:

He held up a hand, presumably to touch Carlisle’s arm in comfort, but just then Alec started retching.

«He ate human food,» Jane deadpanned to Demetri, Felix, and Renata. Shaking her head, she brushed Alec’s hair out of his face as he hurled into the river.

Aro grimaced slightly, his hand hovering in the air.

Carlisle felt all the bread, corn flakes, and water that he’d swallowed press uncomfortably against his esophagus. «I’ll do you one better, Alec,» he choked, before he span around, fell to his knees and started retching, much like a cat.

Aro, evidently not sure what to do with his arm but not about to let it drop purposelessly, gave Carlisle a supportive pat on the bum before kneeling beside him to hold his hair as he hurled.

It was funny, but simply didn't fit the tone considering what happened after. It had to go. But hey, I got the art.

#there's more but these are the things that came to mind #my fic #nebuchadnezzar's dream #fic spoilers #of sorts kinda #doktrajediscovery

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #451

“taste the waste of their god’s grace & spit your hate upon your young”

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube? A shitload of people. Do you like to go to the farmer's market? Yeah, sure. What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be? Probably black. What's your favorite melon? I don't really like melons, actually. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :( When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? Literally every day. Seriously. It's funny, I dread fighting to sleep at night, but I also just want it to be time to sleep so time will pass. My life is just so fucking boring that I just... wait for something exciting to happen. Name one person you've never had a fight with: Tez. What are you currently listening to? "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment. What would you rather have: cat or dog? I prefer cats. Who is your least favorite person in real life? Probably my sister's husband. Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really? I'll sometimes watch live let's plays. Does your house have security cameras? No. If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be? I'll be dyeing it. What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened? I'm not sure. What soundtrack do you listen to the most? Silent Hill 2's, definitely. Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult? I don't know if it's really a secret, but I didn't know until this year that my dad did some really dangerous drugs before us kids were born. Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you? Yes. What’s something you like to have many options to choose from? Food, ha ha. Feels great to have a full kitchen after a grocery trip. What’s the strangest decorative object you own? Nothing "strange" to me. What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now? One biggie is having a baby. I just... could not imagine. My life would plummet. What’s been your proudest moment? Graduating in the top percentile in my high school graduating class. What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen? Omfg, Sausage Party. That movie was so gross. Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals? Thankfully, no. I don't even think I could befriend someone who doesn't like animals. Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts? No. Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal? Yeah, like me with whale sharks. Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer? Not really, no. Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills? Amy Lee's. And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand? Yeah, such as Bob Dylan. Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf? Tui T. Sutherland, but only because I read their series Wings of Fire. Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today? I'm sure on Facebook at some point. Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? Does the freezer count? If so, this Healthy Choice grilled chicken pesto bowl I have in there. I am like addicted to them. Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately? I don't know. If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it? It varies month-to-month. Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to? I had my Markiplier tattoo essentially redone by a better artist. I also plan on getting my "ohana" tat covered, as well as my "how rare and beautiful it is to even exist" one (I adore the quote, but it's not an original design, which I don't like having anymore), and I want to move and redesign my "perfectly flawed" one because I want a bigger tattoo in its location. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind? Yeah; I'm pretty sure I like-like my friend Girt now, something I was never entirely sure about. When was the last time you did something on a whim? *shrug* Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Well, I guess both, but Dad didn't do a lot of the teaching part about life and stuff. Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week? No. Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’ Yes. Colleen tried that with me and Girt and only succeeded in making us very uncomfortable. She said something I wanted to slap her for that I won't repeat. What is your card game of choice? Magic: The Gathering. What is your favourite books series? I think my favorite series of all time was the Shiloh trilogy. I adored both the books and movies. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions? You'd better give me landmarks, ha ha. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books? Of course. What was your favourite gym class moment? There're such things as GOOD gym memories in school? Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun? Yes. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks? No, I always thought it was very flattering that they even wanted mine. Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie? The Phantom Virus one. I had the video game as a kid, too. Could never beat the damn thing. Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down? No? I don't like seeing children - or anyone - fall. Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past? So, this really only happened once, and it was coincidentally the day I learned of her pancreatic cancer, but before Mom told me. I had an assignment to interview someone of an older generation about how various sources of media affected their lives, like the development of TV and such, and she really got into it. It was very interesting to learn about. Do you have a crush on someone? I guess I do idfk. If so... what does his/her name begin with? "D." What attracts you to them? More than anything, the fact he's been there for me without fail. Both single and when I was with Jason and he was interested in me, he's just... been there and has made an effort since high school to be in my life in one way or another. Do they know that you like them? Not anymore, no. We dated for a few months, but I broke up with him because he felt more like my brother, so I would assume he doesn't think I do. Maybe he still is family to me. I really don't know what I feel. If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? I might at some point, idk. We just haven't talked in a while. Name two people that you miss: Jason and Megan. Have you ever seen Titanic? When I was in the hospital, yes. Everyone was crying, lmao. Have you ever swam with dolphins? No, but I would. When was the last time you had a stomachache? Now. Mother Nature finally visited me after three whole fucking months and is v angry. What's going to bed early for you? Like 7:00. Do you want to have a big family in the future? Of pets! Human kids ain't for me. What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush? Hell if I know. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have? Yes. I got Moderna. If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects? I did on my second dosage. I was OUT of it the day afterwards, but then I was fine. What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself? I need new bras badly. What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful? It's called "Not Just A Pet Rock (Python regius)" and is a group for advanced ball python husbandry. It is very informative, but I will say there is a SHITLOAD of very rude elitists. Do you like your butt? Why or why not? NO because it's a PANCAKE and I want CAKE. Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia? I personally think so. When Sara visited and we were trying to go to my older sister's so she especially could meet her, Ash entirely ignored Mom's messages. I know her homophobic husband well enough to nearly be able to guarantee he didn't want us coming over because the kids "don't need to see that." Ash kinda does what Nick says, so... you know. Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I know I'm happier with pets. Who was the last person you went on a date with? Sara. Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid? No. What’s your favorite way to curl your hair? It's too short to do that. At what age did you start swearing? However old I was in 7th grade. What is something you physically can’t do? Clean up vomit lkdsjal;sdkjfa;lkwd. I can't clean up my pet's or even my own. I literally can't. My mom has to. What do like better, apples or oranges? Apples. I don't like oranges. Around the holidays, do you hope for snow? Yes!!! What are your top two favorite bands? Ozzy Osbourne and Metallica. How many people do you 100% trust? Like two. Maybe. Do you care what others think about you? Way too much. Has anyone ever called you a bitch? My grandmother has. Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger? Omg yes, I was obsessed. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have that. Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat? No. Not because I don't want to, because I do, but I would have an extreme protein deficit if I did that. Besides meat, I don't like enough protein-rich foods. Have you ever had a rolling backpack? Yes. Did you make any money today? I haven't made any money in a very, very long time. I'm only ever paid when someone hires me to take pictures for them. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? I don't know. Definitely not very high. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? Yes. What was the last souvenir someone got you? I have zero clue. Do you have a favorite remix of a song? Hm. Perhaps this techno-y remix of "Psychosocial" by Slipknot. I don't know for sure, though. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? Either the violin or piano. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Nope. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)? Probably clouded leopards aesthetics, but I think lions overall. If you had $500,000, what would you do with it? Pay off school debt as well as help Mom with various financial issues, buy new glasses, buy Mom and I a new house and car, get Venus a great tank with all the optimal supplies, get LOADS of tattoos, donate to various charities, adopt a few specific pets, travel to Yellowstone, get laser hair removal on my legs and teeth whitening... There are a lot of possibilities. Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid? Just scaly ones. :') "First loves are never really over." Is this true for you? Yeeeep... Did you like Michael Jackson before he died? I didn't really have an opinion on him. I know/like a couple songs, sure. What are some things that would make you break up with someone? If they became abusive, started doing drugs, acted arrogantly, didn't understand my mental conditions and were unwilling to be emotionally supportive, stuff like that. What was the worst breakup you've ever had? Ha, the one with Jason. For. Fucking. Sure.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''degrade'' by 3teeth

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papermoonloveslucy · 3 years

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‘MY GOOD WIFE’ v ‘MY FAVORITE HUSBAND’

June 23, 1949

"My Good Wife," an added starter on KNBC, 6:30 p.m. PST Fridays, is another comedy about a young married couple, as if we needed another one. I must admit this one is a little different. This married couple, Steve and Kay Emerson, are not nearly so fast with a wisecrack as, say, Lucille Ball and her husband on "My Favorite Husband," 9:00 p.m. PST the same night on KCBS. Great night for matrimony, Fridays, and if those two programs don't provide enough for you, tune in Dorothy Dix at 1:45 pm. (not broadcast in west). She'll tell you how to win back an erring husband.

I haven't yet made up my mind whether the Emerson's ineptness at repartee is deliberate - after all, not every young wife talks like Groucho Marx - or whether the script writer isn't very good at it either. Anyhow, whether by accident or design, the Emersons are a very restful young couple, possibly a little too restful to get anywhere in the entertainment world. In radio, they're a real novelty.

As a wife Arlene Francis who plays Kay Emerson, wins out on points over Lucille Ball In other regards - talent and looks, for example - Miss Ball is way out front. But how long could you live with a girl who says: "Oh, we don't miss television. I climb in the Bendix and sing and George looks at me through the little window." Imagine having a girl around the house who said things like that before breakfast. It'd curdle the milk.

STARTS OFF FAST

“My Good Wife" started out at a gallop two weeks ago, NBC deciding to set the stage and get everything out of the way all at once. The first program resembled one at those synopses of previous in installments in the popular magazines. Steve met Kay, quarreled with her, married her, taught her how to drive, learned he was about to become a father, and became one - all in 15 minutes. One minute later, the dialogue went like this:

"It doesn't seem like we've been married 12 years."

"We've been married 10 years."

"Well, that's why it doesn't seem like 12."

That, incidentally, Is a little brighter than the conversation around the Emerson household generally gets.

On the second show of the series, the pace settled down to a walk. During the first few minutes the Emersons and their neighbors lay lazily on the grass, not even talking very much. This may be taking realism too far. I mean there ought to be some crickets chirping or something. Things quickened a bit later when Mrs. Emerson decided she was going to help her husband out with his law practice and, of course, messed things up.

YALE, NO LESS

The Emersons are quite upper middlebrow as radio's young married folk go. He went to Yale, for heaven's sake, and she not only went to Vassar but led the daisy chain or whatever they do with that daisy chain. What is this - counter revolution? Oh, yes, they live in Larchmont up to their ears in other upper middlebrows. I don't know what else to tell you about the Emersons except they sound like a nice young couple to have over for a drink some time but conceivably a little mild to entertain you much on the air.

My favorite young married couple is still Ozzie and Harriet Nelson - I put Goodman and Jane Ace off in another category entirely - and while we're chatting about this sort of thing, I ought to point out Ricky and David Nelson, Ozzie and Harriet's children, are now playing themselves on that program which solves a lot of problems. I have a spy in the Nelson household, named - in case any congressional ears are pricking - Harriet Nelson, nee Harriet Hilliard, and she is not now and has never been a Communist nor worked on the atom bomb nor designed the B-36.

Anyhow, my spy informed the Nelsons had a little trouble with the kids. The real Ricky and David I listened to the radio Ricky and David and discovered them doing things they weren't allowed to do or wouldn't do voluntarily if they were allowed. Being children, they got confused over their own identities. Well now the real Ricky and David are the radio Ricky and David and the split personalities in the kids has been averted. You run into a lot of funny problems in radio.

# # #

FOOTNOTES FROM THE FUTURE

It seems pretty clear that NBC was counter-programming CBS’s “My Favorite Husband”. Not only are the names very similar, they were scheduled on the same night, as critic Crosby points out.

The episode of “My Favorite Husband” described above might apply to any domestic sitcom, but was actually titled “Budget - Mr. Atterbury” broadcast June 3, 1949. However, this newspaper is still calling Lucille Ball’s character Liz Cugat, when her name had changed to Liz Cooper in January 1949, to avoid comparison with the well-known bandleader (no, not Desi Arnaz).

Counter-programming by NBC would not stop on radio. When “I Love Lucy” was a juggernaut hit for CBS TV, NBC created a similar show titled “I Married Joan” for star Joan Davis. It was billed as “The adventures of the scatterbrained wife of a respected city judge.” Substitute “bandleader” for “Judge” (played by Jim Backus) - and you’ve got “I Love Lucy.” Like Ball, Davis was a film star of the ‘30s and ‘40s getting aboard the TV bandwagon. Like Lucy, Joan wanted to be in showbusiness. Many of the same situations that Lucy got into, Joan did too. The series even featured a few “I Love Lucy” refugees: Jerry Hausner, Elvia Allman, Bob Jellison, Margie Liszt, Shirley Mitchell, Ross Elliott, and many others. "Lucy” and “Joan” even employed the same director in each show's first season, Marc Daniels. "Joan” lasted three seasons, from 1952 to 1955 and is all but forgotten today.

Kay Emerson was not the first domestic radio role for Arlene Francis. In 1940, she took over the role of Betty on “Betty and Bob”, which had been the first successful soap opera. She was one of the hosts of the quiz show “What’s My Name?” beginning in 1938. The show was seen as a model for TV’s “What’s My Line?” which premiered in 1950. Francis would stay with the show for its entire run, including six mystery guest appearances by Lucille Ball.

The husband to “My Good Wife” was played by John Conte. From 1944 to 1946 he was married to Marilyn Maxwell (1944-46) who would later appear with Lucille Ball in the 1963 film Critic’s Choice. He had also been seen with Ball (and Maxwell) in As Thousands Cheer (1943). In 1960 he would work for Desilu in an episode of “The Untouchables” (1960).

Unlike “My Favorite Husband’s” mythical mid-Western Sheridan Falls, the Emerson’s livid in the real New York suburb of Larchmont, an affluent village located within the Town of Mamaroneck in Westchester County, New York, approximately 18 miles northeast of Midtown Manhattan. Nearby was the town of New Rochelle, whose most famous fictional resident was Rob Petrie on “The Dick Van Dyke Show” (filmed at Desilu Studios). Danfield, New York, another fictional town in the area, was the residence of Lucy Carmichael and Vivian Bagley for the first three seasons of “The Lucy Show.”

“My Good Wife” began airing in June 1949, and by April 1950 was nowhere to be found. In October 1949, Billboard reported on a new NBC Gallup Poll that placed the show dead last - with 32 stations voting it poor and only 8 saying it was excellent. The future of “Wife” was bleak. The sitcom was cancelled after 18 weeks to make room for the new Jimmy Durante show. Meanwhile, Ball’s “Husband” (on CBS), thrived. Coincidentally, the show was initially a replacement for Red Skelton’s show. Skelton and Durante had both worked with Ball on films.

Crosby’s quote from “My Favorite Husband”

"Oh, we don't miss television. I climb in the Bendix and sing and George looks at me through the little window."

was spoken by Lucille Ball in the episode titled “Television” on June 17, 1949. A Bendix is a brand of front-loading washing machine. The porthole-like window was similar to the size screen of early television sets.

Crosby’s observation that Liz talks like Groucho Marx is attributable to the show’s writers Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and Jess Oppenheimer. And let’s not forget that Lucille Ball acted opposite Groucho Marx in Room Service (1938)!

After making the obvious comparison to “My Favorite Husband,” Crosby lets readers know that neither “Husband” nor “Wife” will ever displace “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriett” in his domestic dome. The show launched October 8, 1944 and a total 402 radio episodes were produced. When it was optioned for television, it was upstart network ABC that made the sweetest deal to the Nelsons.

As Crosby alludes to, their real-life sons, David and Ricky, did not join the cast until the radio show's fifth year. The two boys were played by professional actors prior to their joining because both were too young to perform. Crosby’s allegations of possible identity crisis due to watching their parents with other sons on television, might easily apply to “I Love Lucy”, where the real-life Desi Arnaz often lived in the shadow of the young actors playing Little Ricky on television. Mrs. Ricardo and Mrs. Arnaz giving birth to both boys on the same day only added to the confusion - one that still lingers today.

Crosby declines to compare the aforementioned shows with the popular Goodman and Jane Ace. The real-life marrieds had a show titled “Easy Aces” Goodman Ace cast himself as a harried real estate salesman and the exasperated but loving husband of the scatterbrained, malaprop-prone Jane ("Time wounds all heels"). “Easy Aces” became a long-running serial comedy (1930–1945) but did not make a graceful transition to television, lasting only a few months on the ill-fated DuMont Network. Coincidentally, Martin Gabel, who married Arlene Francis in 1946, had a recurring role on “Easy Aces” during the 1930s.

In a more sarcastic shout-out, Crosby mentions capping off this slew of domestic dithering by listening to Dorothy Dix. Author Elizabeth Meriwether Gilmer (1861-1951) was widely known by the pen name Dorothy Dix. As the forerunner of today’s popular advice columnists, Dix was America’s highest paid and most widely read female journalist at the time of her death. Her advice on marriage was syndicated in newspapers around the world with an estimated audience of 60 million readers. Naturally, radio was not neglected, getting their Dix fix when her column took to the airwaves. Due to Lucy’s insistence on interfering in the Mertz’s personal affairs, Ricky compares Lucy to Dorothy Dix in “Fred and Ethel Fight” (ILL S1;E22) on March 10, 1952.

We haven’t yet mentioned this 1940 gem, but we’ll save that for another time!

#My Good Wife #Arlene Francis #John Conte #My Favorite Husband #Lucille Ball #radio #1949 #I Married Joan #John Crosby #Dorothy Dix #Ozzie and Harriett #Easy Aces #Groucho Marx #Desi Arnaz Jr.#Larchmont NY

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gloomverse-theories · 4 years

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Something I’ve always been curious about regarding Gloomverse is: what was the deal with the dream versions of Wallis and Harold? The whole color change thing they had going on and why did Wallis have slight differences in his design from the Wallis in the non dream world? (For example, dream Wallis was wearing a tie while real Wallis was not.) Any thoughts or feelings on the matter? Personally I don’t trust dream Harold and especially not dream Wallis.

Mod Joe’s response:

Okay, strap yourselves in for a long one, because I have A Lot to say. I won’t talk about the clothing, this is mostly about Coloring and Rights... rights that were and are being broken.

TL;DR of my thoughts/feelings: The dream selves are supportive of Rylie and signal protection for their newfound family. They know a lot more than they should and seem to have even more in store. Even the links to Murder Hobo do not upset me because their general goals align, for the moment. Virga and Yellow are the greater threat...

Let’s talk about the Colors first. Colors change color when they get Magic. Why do I bring this up? Because we have this panel:

This moment is important because Harold addresses the Dark Overlord directly here. And from the sound of it, his hair and eyes changed to the black and red we know when he got his hat.

But wait. If he says her hair and eyes didn’t change, so it’s her real hat, then if eyes and hair do change, it’s The Wrong Hat.

But that shouldn’t be possible. As per the Right of Passage, you can only gain Magic through your own Hat, by taking out your wand from it. This is the first Right being broken here. Harold got Magic through a Hat that is not his own, a fact supported by us never seeing him with a Wand.

The giant lollipop does not count, as he only uses it to bash people with it. We never see him Manipulating anything, which you need a Wand for; he’s only ever seen Creating candy out of his “fake” Hat. But that’s another theory.

Important thing here is that he is breaking one of the fundamental Rights of Magic and changed color because of it.

We have another panel that we shouldn’t forget when discussing the dream selves: Wallis going berserk.

Not included in this picture is the levitating Seaweed hanging on to him, complaining that she cannot breathe in the next panel... which is violating another Right, that is the Right of Protection from magic. It states that Magic cannot be used directly on the body of a living being. Which he already violated once before (and after) by making limbs invisible.

This seems to indicate that this coloring (at least for them) is tied to Right Breaking. Something we should keep in mind...

Onto the dream itself now.

Sorry Harold, You didn’t have a good panel while standing upright.

Here, the colors are reversed. Wallis has the black hair and red eyes while Harold has his natural colors. Why? What rules could Wallis be breaking here? Well, he is in another person’s dream, which is having influence on their mind and by that breaking of the Right of Protection again. It could be that... but then Harold wouldn’t be breaking a law by being in the dream. Hm.

Wallis’ color scheme could also be tied to how he is MIA and color shifted at that point of the story, but then again, Harold also is. Another thing to note here is that Wallis is in full control of himself, not going mad with rage as he did against Cakegirl. Furthermore, not only are his clothes noticeably different from his magic show outfit, his limbs are still visible. This is most likely not directly the Wallis who disappeared during the magic show...

— Mod Green : When Purple found Wallis in the crater, his hair was still reverting to its normal color so I’d guess he was indeed frozen in time or in stasis or something... —

Harold is a bit of an oddity as well. He has his natural colors, invisible limbs and candy canes, as well as the hat we’ve always seen him use.

We later see Rylie with both legs in her dreams, so having his limbs back shouldn’t be an issue; but she also only got multicolored hair when she remembered that’s how it currently looks like. It seems that the dream appearances are tied to one’s self perception.

So, could this just be how Harold sees himself. After all, he has had missing limbs for much longer than the other two, since childhood. Or maybe it’s a little off because it’s a sign of something greater. Why is he even there in the first place...?

Because, as for their intentions...

Dream Wallis is clearly being supportive of Rylie here but does extend a word of warning too. They even came specifically to wake her up early.

Which seems to indicate that these versions know more than their waking ones... but in the world they know, Rylie didn’t wake up after only two weeks? Hm! Perhaps Virga found her in Gloomverse then, or there is another timing issue we don’t know of that necessitates the change. Something seems to have happened that could be solved by her waking up “earlier”. (How much earlier? Days? Weeks? Months? Years? We don’t know, but Wallis dismisses two weeks as a short time, which is pretty alarming on its own.)

In any case, all points towards Wallis and Harold having the ability to go back in time in some way... but we’ve seen something similar lately, with Rylie and Prisma talking. Perhaps they contacted Rylie the same way. We’ll know more soonish.

— Mod Green : @trixylalamoon suggested that Harold’s “true” magic would have been time magic, fitting a time/space motif between him and his brother. And that does explain a lot of things! They could come from an alternate timeline, or from the future, and decided to intervene and wake Rylie “earlier”, maybe to prevent something from happening? Or provoke something. Like Wallis’ crash. He reappeared and crashed two weeks after the magic show, approximately at the same time as Rylie woke up in the hospital. Are those two events linked someway or purely coincidental?

What it doesn’t explain is “how did they get here?”. —

This timey weirdness doesn’t change the fact though that the brothers view Rylie as family and are going to help her get through whatever may come as best as they can. I do not doubt the sincerity of that, and neither should you...

“BUT HE LOOKS LIKE PRISMA’S MURDERER! TRUST NO ONE!” I hear you exclaim in chorus with Rylie. And you would be right to be suspicious, considering that Yellow is set on Necessary Murder and Amadeus seems equally determined.

For one, however, we don’t actually know whether Wallis and Harold from the dream are working together with Amadeus; we can only confirm that they seem to know of him. (“Other red-eyed magician? What did they look like?” then a meaningful look once Rylie describes a long black haired, red eyed magician.)

— Mod Green : We know that “Mancers could inflict their powers directly on the human mind”, so to be inside Rylie’s dream, they would need the help of a Mancer. You could make a case that Harold and Wallis are mancers, but their magic wouldn’t really allow them to visit a dream, unless Wallis can open a wormhole in people’s head. Who are our other options? Of the five Mancers mentioned, we have only met two : Amadeus and Prisma. However, I don’t think Ama would help his sons to wake Rylie up. In fact, he would probably have preferred that she never wake up again.

When Rylie wakes up and try to explain her dream, Hobo’s face is.... dread.

What about Prisma? She seems to care a lot about Rylie, and would want her to wake up. She’s already trapped in some sort of Dreamscape so she must have experiences. Well I’m not so sure... Without Dream!Wallis and Dream!Harold intervention, Rylie might have met Prisma faster. What if they were trying to prevent that...? She’s the reason why Hobo fears her and Yellow wants her dead.

We can scratch Amaryllis and Malus from the list of suspects. One went missing thousands of years ago and the other is more of a “physical violence” than “spiritual help”. Which brings us to Hyacinth. Out of all the mancers, she’s the most likely to have mind related magic (we will talk about that another time), and she’s possibly still alive in Ecoverse. What is her interest in helping Rylie? No clue, but we can’t dismiss any lead.

And finally... Harold. I said before that maybe his “real magic” was time magic, but it’s only one possibility. He seems pretty at ease in Rylie’s dream, flying around on a giant lollipop just because he can, while Wallis looks powerless. He even has his original color scheme, so contrarily to his brother, he’s not breaking rules by being here.

He is also the first one to notice that Rylie is waking up, and says that they have to go. Which means they can come and go whenever they want, and are not dependent on another person to pull them back out. Finally, Amadeus asked the lemon kid to watch on Harold, and specifically on his sleep. He is “sleeping well” and so “his risk is back down to almost zero”.

The Dark Overlord gave Harold a false hat, but is he also keeping his real one away to prevent him from using his magic? —

Secondly, about Ama’s motives themselves:

The reason I am using this image is to draw your attention back to the moment where Wallis went into a rage. Yes, Ama here seems very much in control of himself,but he seems to be leaking Magic everywhere. Just like his son when in great emotional turmoil. Hm. Just like...

Here. But seemingly much less controlled, indicating that he might have been less cold than he let on back then...

This picture is one of my favorite Amadeus moments. He just threw a few bombshells at us: Rylie is someone important, he’s the Dark Overlord, he murdered Prisma, he won’t let something happen again, and on top of that, he’s Petunia’s husband and the father of Harold and Wallis! Plus he has the same general color scheme as his sons! (Note that he’s ALSO rule breaking: no hat nor wand is visible during his magic usage.)

So how could we trust them when they have moments where they look like a murderer who’s been tricking the entire cast for months!?

Well, to sum up, two reasons:

1) Amadeus acts out of conviction. Both when murdering Prisma (despite his possible unrest in the moment) and when giving Rylie her Hat back. We can’t know for sure about the first, but he did the second to protect those important to him and his sons. He even apologizes to Rylie. I wholeheartedly do not think that he will harm Rylie as long as he can avoid it. Whatever it is he wants to prevent, he’ll try to explore the ways that avoid killing the newest member to his family.

2) Wallis and Harold are still their own people. They will oppose their own father who was not there for them for most of their lives if it is to protect their little sister. Even their dream selves would do it, as I have discussed above. It would not match their shown intentions, even if they seem to know more.

In other words: We should currently be worrying more over Yellow and Virga than Hobo and the dream selves of his sons...

#Anonymous #gloomverse #mod joe #mod green #theories #assistant #harlold gloom #wallis gloom #mooching hobo #gloomversetheories

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starberry-cupcake · 4 years

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So, yesterday I saw a post about fairy tales and whether or not they’re “gruesome”. I wanted to expand on that in the tags, because a) I’m coincidentally finishing the preparation of the fairy tale history part of my workshop and b) I think there’s a huge part played by the intent of the writer/compiler and the audience it was aimed that, and that’s also very interesting to me; but then decided against adding it.

Still, @akallabeth-joie and @aurora-australis-tumbles wanted to know what I had to say, but tumblr ate half of my response last night. Here it is again, on read more not to bother those who don’t care about this.

The original post mentioned how some fairy tales aren’t really as “gruesome” as they’re made up to be and how that varies, in op’s opinion, due to culture or historical time frame. It’s actually not only that, because some very different versions come from the same countries, same time frames and sometimes even the same people.

A big difference in the content, construction and symbology of fairy tales has to do with the intended audience as well as the ideological mindset of the writer/compiler individually and the work the compilation was inscribed in.

In the post, one of the examples mentioned was Beauty and the Beast, which is one of the best examples of different audiences for the same tale in the same country and similar time frames.

Villeneuve’s version of the tale was influenced by the French salonnières, like Madame d’Aulnoy, so it was intended mostly to women of the aristocracy to entertain themselves. The part about them being aristocrats is very important, because class was an inherent part of the story, in Villeneuve’s version for example Beauty is secretly a princess, making her the right class to marry a prince.

Beaumont’s version, which is more widely known, was published in a magasin for young women who were getting an education and learning languages, which makes sense because Beaumont was a governess. As a result, a lot of the story is framed into marrying well and putting up with whatever husband you got, basically, but it’s also framed in a different more naive way, if you will.

A clear difference between the two is the “sexual content”, for example, Villeneuve’s Beast asks Beauty to sleep with him whereas Beaumont’s asks her to marry him, and Villeneuve’s reason for the prince to be turned is because a fairy wanted to force herself onto him and he refused.

Perrault was put in the post as an example of “not gruesome” because his Cinderella, as opposed to the Grimms’ Cinderella, doesn’t end in anyone being physically punished. Violently so, in the Grimm version, there’s bloodied feet and eyes getting gauged out. That doesn’t mean that Perrault was devoid of gruesome content, though, his Blue Beard is to me the scariest fairy tale ever because it excuses physical abuse towards women, something male translators were absolutely ok with until Angela Carter came in and said “what the actual fuck?”.

But, in any case, Perrault’s Cinderella doesn’t have a punishment for the stepsisters (the stepmother disappears halfway through) because Cinderella being forgiving and kind and showing the poise to not only forgive her bullies but get them to marry well was proof of her feminine virtue. Because Perrault was writing for the French aristocracy, mostly young women, since he was contemporary to d’Aulnoy but was compiling stories with an entirely different mindset (and hiding the fact that it was him who was doing so). And again, this was for aristocrats, Cinderella was not in Perrault a story from rags to riches, she was born with enough rank to attend that ball, she wasn’t poor.

The Grimms, on the other hand, were working differently. They were intending to build a compilation of tales to represent German tradition and identity, in a time in which they were lacking it (which is strange to think of now, but even the language was being threatened by the French influence). Their interest was in historical and traditional recuperation originally but the first edition of their selection did poorly and didn’t have much acceptance.

Their second edition, which they made for children, took off like crazy. The Grimms were publishing in the early 1800s, and it was in the mid 1800s when the concept of childhood as we know it started to take shape. They got to live through the first steps of children being seen as independent beings, the start of a public education and literacy and working rights, albeit shitty ones. So, the kids’ edition needed morals and teachings that would focus on them. They gave Little Red Riding Hood a mother and turned her into a kid, they turned some mother characters into step mothers and they put punishments to showcase how you Shouldn’t Be Bad.

And yes, the punishments were gruesome and violent, but this is the same place that thought, in the mid 1800s, that Der Struwwelpeter was kid friendly fun, so what do I know about anything.

Of course, like op said, some of this is dependent on history and culture, but also it’s super important to note that, when it comes to collected fairy tales and folk stories, the background, ideology, education and intent of the person writing or compiling the stories plays a big role in what they edit in them.

After the Grimms you’ll have people who are, like them, interested in recuperating stories of a specific place but with a much bigger philological intent which would take them to organize their stuff differently, like Afanasyev in Russia, Laura Gonzenbach in Sicily, Berta Elena Vidal de Battini in Argentina and so on.

Afanasyev compiled over 600 tales and added different versions of the same stories, to show all the variants one archetype could have, which derived into the immortal conservation of super important characters like Baba Yaga.

Laura Gonzenbach, who spoke 4 languages, interviewed women with little means and collected over 90 stories from Sicilian oral tradition, and translated them while respecting their representations and ideas, as well as the cathartic need of expressing the violence and abuse they had suffered.

Vidal de Battini had a very big interest on language and tradition, she worked for several decades, traveling over 100 times throughout Argentina and compiled over 3000 texts, including traditional stories, native peoples stories, legends, encounters with cryptids, jokes and tales about famous characters. She included a lot of notes and grammatical representations of dialect variations and explained how sometimes it overlayed with languages such as quechua, mapuche and other native tongues.

This also happened with writers, like Hans Christian Andersen, who was born in a low class, hated aristocracy and was also Very Much Not Straight, so his books and Perrault’s books might fist fight in my bookshelf when I’m not looking.

Anyway, fairy tales and folk stories are, to me, alongside legends, cryptids, horror tales and urban legends, one of the most representative forms of cultural identity. Still, the part that each person responsible for their collection played is also something that sheds light on many elements concerning their conception. It doesn’t taint them, it adds another layer that is fascinating to analyze, but doesn’t necessarily represent what one would think at first sight.

These people took the stories from the popular imagination and gave them back transformed, and those new versions still keep being transformed within popular imagination again and again.

#luly rambles #about fairy tale history #long post when expanded #akallabeth-joie #aurora-australis-tumbles #reply

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beinfriends-a · 3 years

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( I think I always meant to talk about Eoforwine’s family at some length for quite a long time; for a long time the family was quite generic and not really well-developed, but I actually really do think about them a lot-- primarily his wife, whom he currently does not recall, unfortunately. While I doubt any of them would ever pop up here (aside from in modern verse, maybe? But I’m still working out some kinks in the details WRT the family situation) because For is separated from them by a margin of, oh... a thousand or so years, I still think it’s worth at least discussing them a bit? I also have always considered possibilities where For could find them and bring them here to Nowhere, but that’s irrelevant for the time being.

I finally wound up listing the names of his wife and children on For’s about just a little while ago, and so I’m certain few, if anyone have noticed it. For’s family was as follows: his wife Saoirse, his elder daughter Eoforhilde, and his younger son Rowan. Yes, he named his daughter after himself JKBSD. It isn’t like he didn’t connect with both his kids, but I think he especially clicks with Hilde, always has, so he picked that name because he saw himself in her. Saoirse picked Rowan’s name, so it evens out that they both picked a name they liked.

As to how For met Saoirse in the first place, I kind of picked out a story about a warrior who briefly appears in Beowulf who happens to have the name Eofor. Utterly coincidental, which is funny because me reading Beowulf is what inspired me to give For his backstory and his Old English name, but I didn’t remember that Eofor was a character that appears in Beowulf till I reread it sometime later. So the story of Eofor, whom is related to Beowulf as... his cousin’s husband I think, is essentially that he helped the king (Hygelac I think?) get revenge on the Swedish king for killing the king’s brother, who was the previous king. And because Eofor personally personal killed the Swedish king and avenged the king’s brother, the king let Eofor marry his daughter.

So I kinda liked that. But I just figured... For went to Cloverland / Ireland, because Saoirse is Irish and not English, and at some point is employed by Saoirse’s father to do him a big favor like that. Though I think Saoirse and For always kinda took to each other and got along, I don’t think For would have had the chance to marry her had he not gotten her dad’s good graces. He isn’t exactly rich or has much to offer in terms of status so he’d never have a chance in those times... so he got to have a relationship with someone he really liked and whom liked him back because he got in good with the family.

Saoirse is a very smart woman. I like the contrast between a really smart, capable woman and a man who isn’t dumb but is more acquainted with practical skills than having an actual education. For wasn’t exactly high ranking so people like him don’t really receive an education outside of what is necessary. But he was always pretty smart, just in a different way. I also like the contrast between a friendly, high energy person and their more low energy, colder person, and I think For and Saoirse fit that bill too. She’s really not a friendly person or big on people at ALL, so the fact that For kinda found his way into her heart I think says a lot about his likeability and kindness.

I think Saoirse is quite the serious woman, isn’t friendly, doesn’t really like people, but she really opens up around her family and whatever friends she may have made in spite of her coldness. I think the trope of exasperated nagging wife and the dumb husband could easily befall these two, but I think Saoirse really loves For and is usually on board with whatever he’s doing because she trusts him, and vice versa. I also think Saoirse is a very powerful PSI user to contrast For, who has no PSI capabilities at all. She probably kept that under wraps because I doubt most people like PSI users in those days, but For is chill with it. He just loves his talented wife.

I also have toyed around with the idea of her being some kind of non-human but human-looking entity but that’s an aside. It really just relates to her being a strong PSI user, basically.

So, For and Saoirse got married pretty young. For was 18, and Saoirse was 20. They had Hilde soon after, whom For really connected with. Hilde is a lot like For, or was back when For was a more high energy person-- he’s very relaxed and calm now. Hilde honestly reminds me a lot of Claus before all the trauma; impulsive, very energetic and excitable, and not afraid of basically anything. Dealing with an impulsive child who’s willing to charge into danger stresses For and Saoirse out to the max honestly, but For adores her. She also listens to For more than Saoirse, so he’s usually left to the task of wrangling her.

Rowan is about two years younger than Hilde. He takes much more after Saoirse, and is very timid. He’s not over sensitive, just very cautious more than anything else. Very quiet, takes more to academic pursuits than anything practical (Hilde is the opposite, naturally) so Saoirse has probably put more into educating Rowan than Hilde at this point. Rowan also took to PSI early on just like his mother, so she was really thrilled about that, since Hilde didn’t seem to have any affinity for PSI at all. For probably did his best to try and toughen Rowan a bit, but he also isn’t very harsh about masculinity so he likely didn’t push it all too much when he realized Rowan just kinda... is who he is.

Rowan’ll look quite a bit like For by the time he’s grown up-- except with red hair, since Saoirse is a redhead too. Hilde’s more of a strawberry blond, but yeah. I think you would also really see For in Hilde. Rowan does resemble Saoirse a bit more strongly, though you still see For in him. I think he’ll also mellow out quite a bit and no longer be timid. It’s just one of those things he has to grow out of-- and frankly, I think he’ll wind up taking up similar work to For, being some kind of warrior or mercenary type. Aside from the farming he’d do otherwise. I’m not sure what Hilde’ll do. I don’t think she’d like getting married much.

So For disappeared when Hilde was 9 and Rowan was 7. They’re 16 and 14 now, respectively. When For disappeared, they obviously all took it pretty hard. The family was a pretty healthy unit, so losing someone they were all close to and relied on sucks. Saoirse could hold her own and do what she had to to keep the family safe and happy, but it is miserable being without her best friend. And it’s sad, because For still doesn’t really remember them. He knows he has to have had a family and that they’re out there somewhere, but he’s not quite there yet in remembering. I don’t know how he’ll take it when he remembers. I’m sure he’ll grieve quite a bit, if only because he doesn’t know how to reunite with them or where they are relative to the timeline.

It’s not impossible to reunite, it’s a matter of For remembering the year and the place properly, which is much more difficult. I think if For reunited with his family, he and Saoirse probably wouldn’t get back together? They’d still be very close friends and good co-parents, but I think both of them recognize that they’re in different places and have moved on. Hilde would probably take right to For again as if no time passed at all, but Rowan would probably take much more time warming up. He was younger, after all, and didn’t have all too much time with For, but they’d get along soon enough.

Rowan would be a little less timid but still very quiet. He might be a bit resentful and angry and withdrawn, but hey, he’s a teenager, everyone goes through that. Hilde, I think, might have turned into a bit of a bully. I think she means well, but she’s very aggressive and can go way over the line if you let her because she doesn’t really know better or realize the consequences of that? So she probably bullies Rowan a bit-- and any friends she’d made, she’d do that too (I’ve pictured her meeting Claus and oh fucking boy would she bully the shit out of him despite “liking” him). So it’d take a lot for For and Saoirse to try and fix those things and set the kids on better tracks.

Also, Saoirse probably discovered that Hilde IS a PSI user, it just took time for her to learn how to use it. Not a great combo of an impulsive, sometimes destructive girl and PK Fire, you know? But Saoirse probably started working hard to get Hilde to learn how to control it and teach her some of what she knows. Saoirse was likely both horrified and thrilled at Hilde being a psychic, so she did her best. I’m sure For would be shocked to see how everyone is a PSI user in his family, but glad for them.

In the modern verse, I’ve played around with the idea of Saoirse and For being divorced by the time For is about 28-30. I imagined Saoirse went off back home to Ireland / Cloverland to teach as a professor or... something, and For stayed wherever he stayed-- usually America / Eagleland, after immigrating from Scotland / Foggyland. But I don’t know how custody of the kids would work, because I do want Hilde to be with For, at least. I think For might have custody of the kids most of the time, then Saoirse has visitation, essentially-- or vice versa? Because splitting up custody between two different countries is hard, and they wouldn’t want to split the kids up.

That, or they’re still together, or separated. but Saoirse stays close by so they can equally parent the kids and have equal custody. For and Saoirse will always be good friends no matter what; they just find that they don’t click romantically like they used to, and it was better this way. It’d be a very pleasant divorce, quite unusual, I know, but good for the kids. )

#Boar's Friend [PT]#Deeper Into the Subconscious [HEADCANONS]

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valkerymillenia · 4 years

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Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 4

New episode, new post!

This was the other post I had written out that got accidently deleted so I'm writing it all again.

1993? And Lila was 4? TOO MUCH COINCIDENCE! I still stand by my theory that Lila is one of the 43.

Yes, she has a father but that could just be her mother's husband. It's just too coincidental that the show would make her exactly the same age as the Hargreeves for no reason.

Ah the red heels. Hi Handler. These heels are really pretty though, very wicked witch with the ruby slippers. Even that outfit kind of screams wicked witch meets Cruella de Vil 😏

Kill parents, adopt child. Interesting MO, Handler. Like an evil Bruce Wayne (does this make Handler Owlman? I know, I'm not funny).

Oh, Handler pulling a Reginald with Lila!

Except, you know, she actually gives Lila positive reinforcement and affection, unlike Reggie. But her training seems just as brutal and inhumane for a child (and possibly even more violent) as Reginald's...

It's curious and interesting, a nice foil. Handler succeeds where Reggie fails- creating a loyal and effective soldier will into adulthood- because she was willing to give the kid affection and compassion. Reggie saw himself as some sort of hero creating heros but he failed at the most basic and human thing that even the villain understood.

-The filmography in these training scenes is brilliant.

-Ah, that prom look is the same as half of my classmates when we graduated 🤣 down to the blue makeup.

I'm guessing Lila's "prom"/"graduation" was her first solo assassination?

Wait, Handler wants to protect Five...? What the hell is she up to now?

Talking about killing people like it's a fun hobby 🤨

Oh, so the Swedes are triplets? I suspected but I like the confirmation.

Oh, Handler is lying ~~~~ 🎶

She's definitely following her own agenda here and she's leading Lila into danger. The question is if she's going to undermine the Commission for revenge of if she wants to prove her ability to get promoted back into administrative ranks of the Commission.

Either way, this will not end well for Five.

Lila is going to end up having to choose between Diego and Handler, isn't she?

Five stays in the car to give Luther space... No matter what Five says he actually cares about his siblings' feelings, doesn't he? He's the most overprotective of them all and always has been. It's sweet.

Ah, Luther and Vanya bonding over Five being an asshole. ☺️

"very warm and cuddly father" 🤣

Of course Vanya figured out Five was sparing her feelings, because she's not dumb

Oh, thank you for the honesty, Luther! Gotta love that.

I'm actually really happy to see Luther owning up to his mistakes instead of trying to act like the flawless leader. I think he grew a lot after accepting that Reginald wasnt perfect and I'm glad to see that growth still happening as he learns how to be an independent person. I just hope his guilt doesn't turn into even more self-hatred.

"you had kind of a bad childhood" -understatement of the century, Luther!

Luther, you have pissed off the mobster, you moron. You're on big trouble now.

Dramatic wall punch! 🙄

"when you get angry shit blows up" 😂😂😂

"you're our sister and a member of the umbrella academy" - oh, now you want to include her? The irony of this is that it's the one thing Vanya wanted for the first 29 years of her life and if anyone had said it then, the apocalypse would probably have never happened.

🖕🙊🖕

"I wonder if it's too late to be un-adopted" -ah, you know you love them, Five

Honestly, Allison actually keeps her cool really well, if I went through that phone call I would have broken something.

Why the hell does Klaus want menudo first thing in the morning?? Ew...

Klaus butchering "the frog and the scorpion"... You were doing so well but ended up completely missing the point of that story, dummy.

Diego's stab wound is healing really quickly...

Wait, he's healing quickly and Allison doesn't have a neck scar... Plus Klaus is immortal... Hmm, I wonder if quick healing is an ability they all share? Though that would put Diego's scars (and maybe Ben's death) into perspective...

Does Diego wax his chest? Those pecs are real smooth for someone who spent over two months in a 60s mental institution. 😆

"we've all had the urge" 😂 and Diego's sarcastic laugh 🤣

Who's the 12th of the Magestic 12? Oh, I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE??? Maybe a certain monocled asshole?

"Mamie pink" is Klaus's new nickname, I don't make the rules.

Klaus, you are freaking the boy out with all this new information...

Oh no, the homophobia 😡😡😡

You know what's more heartbreaking about this homophobic disaster? Dave is likely in the closet and this whole situation here and the hate his uncle is showing must be so painful to him, it would probably bury him even deeper in the closet...

Klaus... The punch... Oh, baby... 😢 Oh no, I'm going to cry 😭😭😭

Is Raymond really implying that Allison is a spy? Damn...

Just tell him the truth, Allison! How do you marry a person without telling them something so big about yourself??

Oh, so Klaus has been sober for 3 years... Interesting.

No, Klaus! Don't start self-destructing again! 😢😢😢

It must be so painful for Ben to watch this and not be able to stop it...

Oh shoot, the cult found him.

"prophet"? "holy wanderer"? Interesting.

Poor Klaus just wants peace.

They seriously couldn't get a suit for Five too? Is he not allowed to wear anything else?

Five is onto Lila 🎶

Luther, are you stress eating? Well, at least you're not going on a bender again.

Awww, Luther- Allison reunion. Cute. Please don't make it weird.

Oh God, the awkward small talk is back 😩

I'm glad Luther is being so mature about this. I like this dynamic better.

"Vanya is on a farm. And happy" and Allison finds the happy part weird. Diego in the "nuthouse" and Allison doesn't find that weird at all, even does that 'yeah, ok makes sense' face. Klaus "cult leader" and Luther isn't surprised at all, that little "eh" was so funny.

Lord, this family is mess.

"Doomsday" *awkward chuckle* -you guys are getting way too used to this.

"Diego, try not to do anything too stupid" 😆 ah, brothers.

Lila in red heels, like mommy... 😏

Reggie taught them ballroom dancing? And Handler had the same idea?

Um.... Ok, so new theories! Do Handler and Reginald know each other? Could Reginald have been in the Commission? I'm going to be thinking about this for a while...

Just let the girl lead, Diego. Stop being a little bitch.

GRACE?!

So mom!Grace is either a cyborg or she was modeled after this woman... Makes curious about Reggie's relationship with this lady.

Diego going through the universal horror every kid goes through when realizing that mommy and daddy are "together". 🤣🤣🤣 "I can't picture it on my head. That's nasty"

She didn't tell him her name was Grace but apparently it is.

Am I the only one getting weird desperate and co-dependant vibes from Sissy?

Oh no! Save the baby!

Holy shit! HOLY SHIT! Vanya's powers are incredible! The special effects in this scene are unbelievable!

Save the child!

How did his lips get blue so quickly?

THE RETURN OF THE MAGIC ALIEN LIGHTS! AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ok, I need to pause to gather my thoughts... Ok, things I hope don't happen-please don't magically "fix" the disabled boy, and please don't make the powers transferrable (that's just lazy writing, don't rehash "Misfits").

However, other than that I'm just very curious what those lights will do to Harlan. Will they just save his life? Will he gain powers? Will he have some weird connection to Vanya now? I'm dying to find out!

Anyway, back to the ep.

Baby boy is ok!

Luther, did you think pissing off the mobster would end well?

Elliot just starting up at Luther in awe and visibly fighting not to poke him. 😆

HELL NO, LUTHER! NO DRUGS! DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME?? YOU GOT YOUR BROTHER KILLED!

Oh, Sissy... Poor woman.

There going to kiss, aren't they?

Melancholic music kicking in. Sad emotional talk. Sitting way too close. Yeah, they're going to kiss.

Aaaaaand there's the kiss! ☺️

But now I need to pause and digress again...

Yeah, Sissy's feelings for Vanya are not healthy at all. In fact they mirror Vanya's feelings for Leonard- she's unhappy with her life and clinging to the first person that gives her attention. She wants help, she wants to be rescued, she's touch and attention starved. She's co-dependant and emotionally manipulative.

I'm not saying Sissy is a bad person, she's not, she's a sad person stuck in an unhappy marriage, terrified of being abandoned (almost paranoid) and exhausted under a lot of pressure dealing with a disabled child. And then in comes Vanya, who is perfect with Harlan, so loving and kind and has nothing else to pour all her attention towards. Of course Sissy sees salvation in Vanya and is desperate to keep her.

I'm not saying Vanya and Sissy can't have a beautiful healthy relationship, they can, but not like this. Sissy is clinging too tight and using Vanya to make herself feel better and make her life easier. They both deserve better than that and I hope they get it.

I'm starting to think that all relationships in this season might be doomed to fail:

-Sissy and Vanya have a co-dependant and emotionally unhealthy infatuation and Sissy is married to a man that, while not great, still clearly loves her;

-Raymond and Allison have too many secrets between them that are causing a major rift, they can fix it but there's also the chance that Ray might not be able to accept the truth about her;

-Lila is a double agent using Diego to get close to Five, she seems to be developing feelings but the fact that she's lying about who she is and working for Handler is obviously toxic;

-Klaus is pining over a person that Dave has not yet become and while he only wants to save Dave's life, it's obvious there's too big an experience and culture gap between them for a relationship to flourish;

-Luther and Allison have become one-sided and less innocent and puppy-love than before, now it really is just creepy and unhealthy (whereas before it was understandable because they grew up together under an emotionally unavailable father and isolated from the real world, naturally they became attached and confused their feelings, their attachment wasn't healthy but it was justified and almost innocent... Not anymore though);

-we have no concrete proof yet, but it seems Ben MIGHT be pining over a girl that might not even see him, he's dead, it might be an interesting dynamic storywise, but it's not going to happen, it's unhealthy and unfair;

Some of these couples might still survive and become great, it's still really in the season after all, but they have a lot of growing to do before they get there.

Anyway.... Back to the episode.

Oh Klaus... Off the wagon...

Allison being a good sister and taking care of her brother. My heart ❤️

Luther, you idiot... Well, at least you're getting high in a safe environment.

Luther and Klaus are self-destructing, my poor boys.

"you are super weird" - Luther, you have no zero right to call anyone weird, have you looked in the mirror??

"the woman I love loves someone else" -the woman you love is. your. SISTER!

I really like poor Elliot, I hope nothing bad happens to him.

Jesus, that's creepy, Luther.

Didn't I say Reginald was the 12th? 😏

Roswell? Reggie probably has a vested interest in that.

Blink out of there, Five.

I love that Five's main move is always 'teleport onto their backs and go for the throat'.

Wait, why did Five's teleportation glitch???

The music!!!!

Wait, did Diego's aim just glitch too???

Could these power glitches be connected to Vanya's magic lights going into Harlan? Or could it be something about the Swedes? Or about Reginald's presence, seeing as he dodged Diego's power before? Hmm...

Oooh, Lila has to choose between Diego and her mission already? Interesting... Of course she chooses to save Five.

Badass Lila is amazing!

So she could have helped Diego after helping Five but instead she just walks away? Huh, unexpected.

Diego, you adrenaline junkie. Good moves though.

The ancient Greek is a surprise! I really want to know what Five said to Reginald!!! What did he say? I need to know!!!

Another great chapter!! Very emotional too!

I want more!!!

#tua #tua s2 #tua s2 spoilers #reactions #live blogging #theories #spoilers

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cupofsorrows · 5 years

Text

Howard Lovecraft 5: Yes, This Is The Last One

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Alright chums, let’s do this, home stretch!

- Alright everybody, welcome back to Eldritch Wipeout!

- We’ve had a pretty uneventful day so far, but that might turn around with our next contestant! Standing three feet tall and hailing from Rhode Island, let’s give it up for Howard “Hard R” Lovecraft! *air horns*

- He’s gonna need to keep a level head for this, Tim.

- That’s for sure, Jack. Always keep your wits about you!

- That is, if you haven’t already lost your mind from revelations no man should bear!

- Looks like he’s already running into some trouble with the first trial- And they’re past it already!

- But let’s see how well they do in the second trial!

- We pulled out all the stops on this one...

...and by “all the stops”, I mean ‘ripped the hell off of Indiana Jones’!

Don’t forget Howard...in the Aklo alphabet, ‘Jehovah’ begins with an ‘I’!

- Pretty straightforward, Bob, just gotta find the right tiles to step on --

- Ooh! Do you think he realizes that the words “my father” in that inscription DON’T refer to his father?

- I’m sure he does, John. If the inscription had meant that, it would have said “your father”!

- Appears he does NOT understand this, Rick.

- You know kids these days, Bill, they just don’t got the grammar too good.

- Wait, looks like he’s got another idea...could it be?

- I think it is!

- Looks like he’s spelling out ‘Azathoth’ which IS the correct answer!

- Terrible animation as always, of course.

- No argument there, Dick.

- Just the worst.

- Anyway, it’s on to the third and final trial! This one’s gonna require a lot of creative thinking...

- Looks like he’s planning on reflecting the light from his glowy blue friend, definitely an unconventional solution!

- I’m not sure that’s how physics works, Fred...

- Well, it’s working, Don!

- Well, fuck me in the ass with a Honda, Paul, so it is!

- Just goes to show you can’t trust physics in a place like this.

- No you can’t, Ron.

- I think our boy Howard might just be home free - OH! LOOK at that! A mob of Deep Ones!

- Copy-pasted, by the looks of it!

- Earl, this might be a pickle they’re in now.

waaait a minute...Deep Ones don’t blink!

- Actually, Mark, it seems like they’re cool! They’re just letting him walk out of there.

- Come to think of it, Ted, I think those might just be some set technicians. They’ve been waiting to start disassembling the course, I think.

- Well then, that’s our cue! We have a winner, ladies gents and assorted entities! Thanks for tuning in!

whew, doing those voices was murder on my throat. Now back to the hostage situation:

Nothing much to say here, badguy seemingly wins, activates the ritual, yadda yadda.

oola ooh couchez avec moi, c’est soi?

You can’t really tell from the screencap, but at the crucial moment the book stops working because...

...yeah. I’m not sure ‘deus ex machina’ is the right term for a situation involving actual elder gods, but it sure is a convenient development that in no way hinged on the protagonist’s actions, isn’t it? (also wow. They...just did not bother to give that book any texture here, did they?) Anyhoo, the evil plan fails, miserably,

(I think this was Pepsi’s slogan back in the ‘90s.)

Abdul has finally Outlived His Usefulness™, although he manages a few more lines after being set on fire so I wonder whether that dorky outfit was actually flame retardant.

And there’s Dagon, just standing there awkwardly because this is his place and he actually has people coming over tomorrow so if you all would please hurry up?

The goodguys actually left before Nyarlahotep had even begun soliloquizing back there, and now they’re back safe and sound (except for Ma Lovecraft who is still dying).

Oh, look who it is! Yeah, they’re safe, no thanks to you. Hope you had a nice cup of tea while everyone else was almost dying.

He binds the three journals together into The Necronomicon, which is the only thing that can save Howard’s mother (apparently that requires a higher level of magic than awakening freaking Cthulhu).

Speaking of Mark Hamill, that new Dark Crystal show has been pretty good so far (he’s one of the skeksis in that). Anyways sorry I called you useless, Doc.

lol that bitch is FADED!

*ding* Turkey’s done!

Howard reads from the book to save her. BUT WILL HE BE IN TIME?

My God, she looks like she’s made of vinyl! SHE’S BACK TO NORMAL, EVERYBODY!

There it is, the ONE GOOD BIT in this whole sordid affair. And I’ve capped and posted it, so now you can safely not watch the movie without missing anything.

So Spot (...is he Cthulhu for real now? I don’t think so but...) Must Go Back To His Home Planet Now, His People Need Him. By the way, I am increasingly sure that this is supposed to be R’lyeh:

(sorry, Ruh-LAY)

So the baddies didn’t kill these guys. Ah, too bad, I guess.

Howard shares some meaningful last words with Armitage:

- And they return (via portal) to their home. Yes, their quiet, peaceful home, with its cozy beds and its tranquil garden and their little cat, Ni-

...why, who could THAT be?

I will say this about the animation: it stayed shitty right up to the end.

...

So...not Nick Fury, then.

Right now, I feel, the joke is very specifically on me.

Roll credits, including this bit here about how this was actually adapted from a graphic novel:

Notice that director/producer/voice of Spot/father or husband of half the cast Sean O’Reilly is there, but notice how many other people there are who seem to have had little or nothing to do with this movie. Wonder what that’s about?

If it’s one of those guys that did this credit art - orders of magnitude better than the animation for most of the actual film - it’s nothing short of a travesty that not only were they not involved with the main project but also that we get to see their stuff now just to taunt us with what might have been.

I mean, LOOK at all that! Damn!

“Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental”, says the movie with the child version of a famous horror author as the main character. SURE, WHY NOT.

WELP THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE - well, all she wrote, maybe, but I still have a bit more to add. So yeah, this was on the whole pretty dismal. Not quite as bad as it could have been, I’ll grant, but it missed most of its major cues. I DID like some things - Doug Bradley played a decent Nyarlahotep, the stuff with Azathoth was neat, and Winfield Lovecraft’s character was actually kind of engaging - even funny - at times. AT TIMES. And I will say that, perversely, Abdul Alhazred’s lackluster character design actually kind of stood out - I don’t think you’ll find very many other depictions of him where he’s Just Some Guy (who happens to be a powerful sorcerer). If nothing else, they pretty diligently avoided racializing him (not even a turban!) - yeah, it’s still true that the one evil human is also the only one with any nonwhite identifiers whatsoever (really just the name, in this case) but considering the source material if that’s the most problematic it gets then we got off SUPER easy.

Bad news is, basically everything else about this blows. The animation only hurts if you have eyes, but even the blind can hold O’Reilly accountable for the decision to cast all his kids. Then there’s the fact that the movie tries to bait us with big names, even though two of the top-billed stars (Plummer and Perlman) have probably less than a minute’s worth of lines between them (and ‘lines’ is a bit charitable in Perlman’s case [no disrespect to Ron, you’ll always be my Hellboy]). Seriously, did you even remember Dr. West until I brought him up just now? Wait, no, don’t actually try to recallAAUGH

AAAAAAAHH!

And now the Nyquil’s kickin’ in so I’m gonna have to bow out - but fortunately I’ve said pretty much everything I could think of to say anyway. Perhaps one day, when the stars are right, I might recap the other movies, including Howard’s Mother Eats A Whole Chicken. The future is full of mysteries!

...OK, bye.

#hp lovecraft #HLatUK #shit i actually got this one done before 2 am for once

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explodingthunder · 5 years

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Hi @lainasart ! Or... @laina-inverse ? Which one do I tag? You tagged me!

1. Are you named after anyone? My mother named me after Catherine the Great. For those of you who don’t know her, she was Empress of Russia from 1762 until 1796 and also the country's longest-ruling female leader. She came into power after her husband was overthrown by a revolution (which, coincidentally, she began).

2. When did you last cry? ...Let’s not speak of such things.

3. Do you have/want kids? no. I’ll love other people’s kids but nah I don’t want any as of right now

4. Do you use sarcasm? Absolutely fucking yes. My mother is the most sarcastic being on the planet.

5. What do you first notice about people?

6. What is your eye color? Brown. That’s it.

7. Scary movie or happy ending? Happy ending. I don’t like horror movies.

8. Special talents? I...don’t... know? I mean I can draw, and write, but that’s not really special, is it? I’m decent at giving advice, and I’m good at problem-solving, but that’s it.

9. Where were you born? HA good luck getting me on this one. Somewhere in California, that’s all I’ll say.

10. Hobbies? Drawing. Writing. Swimming. Kung Fu. Video Games. RPGs. Design. Building things in video games.

11. Any pets? A hamster. We call him Chewie (or, Chewy, we never could agree on the spelling) because when we were taking him out of the cardboard PetSmart box to put him in his new terrarium, he clamped down on my finger and wouldn’t let go. There was a lot of blood. We do however think it was just stress- he’s been a gentle soul ever since and has never bitten anyone ever again.

12. What sports have you/do you play? I hate sports. Well, I hate running. I do love rock climbing and badminton, and I’m pretty good at both.

13. Height? 5′2.

14. Favorite subject? Ooh. I love English. Although, it does get kind of boring. (I’ve already read To Kill a Mockingbird six times in the past year, Dana, and I’ve written three argumentative essays, seven academic summaries, eight literary essays and two poems on it, I DON’T NEED TO READ IT FOR ANOTHER TIME)

15. Dream job? Graphic designer, author, or astronomer all sound great to me.

I WILL TAG: hey @downiket @doctordynamite

AS WELL AS ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO IT

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rekkingcrew · 6 years

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Rek DMs: Space Bastards Ep 0 (pt 2)

continued from https://rekkingcrew.tumblr.com/post/179064273187/rek-dms-space-bastards-episode-zero-pt-1

Let’s talk about the ship!

I always figured the custom ship was going to be a big focal point for the group and a big part of the initial buy in. It’s home. It’s home base. Both the players and the characters have made modifications to make it their own.

My plan had been to ask the group what insane star wars alien species their ship was designed for, and what modifications they had all made to be able to use it. I was thinking something like an aquatic species where the inside required joisting to hold it’s shape absent the presence of liquid, or it had belonged to something that was naturally much smaller or much larger than a human.

Instead, the players gave me something magical.

TK’s player said his idea for how he came to join the crew was that he had been in a crate in an evidence locker.

Or maybe an evidence ship.

“Oh my god,” said another player. “We’re driving around in a stolen cop car.”

And so they are.

And I’m not kidding, that’s the thing that set the tone for everything that came after and clicked everything into place. The Black Star is who the group is.

What the players came up with was that they and their NPCs had been disparate petty criminals who had, individually and with other groups, been part of a fifteen gang pile up when a wealthy criminal individual died and everyone tried to be the first to loot his space station, and had ended up in a guns pointed every direction space Mexican standoff (minus TK, who was in the evidence locker, and Eshi, who had already hopped aboard from one stow away situation to another), before they made the collective decision to work together to escape the collapsing station rather than fight. The main architect of this truce was an older twi’lek called Ort Fine, who was wounded during the escape. The group grabbed the last available ship, a slow but heavily gunned and armored police vehicle that was a brand new prototype model, and jetted off together into space. They peeled off the police logo and painted a black star over it. It’s not even a particularly good cover job. Ort was initially the primary force in getting them all to stay together and work as a crew, speaking to each of them about their strengths and convincing them to work a job together he arranged. He died on the job, but the crew stayed together, and out of respect Ort is still listed as the captain on all the manifests.

Mechanically, I’d told the players to pick one of the freighters or transports from the books. They would be allowed to up two stats or put in upgrades, and then I would require them to drop one stat. There would also be whatever narrative consequences I thought fit their choice of ship- in this case, they look like a cop ship, plus in stealing their ship, they’ve made personal enemies of the police forces. The ship also has a lot of internal locks and seals that have been slightly on the fritz since they stole it. I’ve also told them I’m keeping track of fuel and they’re going to have to keep refilling if they want to make long jumps. They have six units in the tank. A small hyperspace jump uses one, a medium two, a long three. The players picked an ILH-KK Citadel Class light freighter, which is a perfect police or pirate ship. They improved the handling and added smuggling compartments as their upgrades. For their disadvantage, rather than dropping a stat, they suggested the following: this ship is exclusively sold for police and military use and parts are proprietary and restricted. All mechanics checks have at least two disadvantage dice unless correct parts are obtained first. Some repairs will not be possible at all without them.

The players seemed to really enjoy making the ship. Most of them also do Warhammer, and one of them found a ship design from there they shared with everyone. “Yes! That’s perfect!”

The NPCs

I’d told the gang they got two NPCs to help cover any gaps in competencies. They were also meant to get the players invested in the world right away. Since TK was capable of covering multiple roles, they had a little freedom.

The first thing they wanted was a criminal face man. I’d been talking to Nyla’s player about some of the things I’d been kicking around about Devaronian gender politics, and so that was the species suggestion from that player. We went for some obvious Satan jokes, and everyone in the group took a turn giving the character one trait. Which is how we got:

Beelz Feck: devaronian con artist and walking catastrophe.

Beelz is a compulsive gambler and up to his eyeballs in debt. He’s also alienated a lot of people in his past and has more bounties on him than the rest of the crew combined, largely because when things get dangerous, Beelz has a bad habit of cashing out. Even so, more than anyone else on the crew, Beelz has a very good ear for what’s going on, and while he always comes back to the ship poorer than when he left it, he also comes back with loads of useful information about rumors, gang wars, and possible leads for the PCs to follow. Beelz’s uncle (who variously goes by “Old Harry”, “Old Scratch”, and “Old Nick”) runs an off-the-grid ship hangar and trading port, and out of gratitude for looking after his sister’s kid, he’s sheltered the crew even when it was a big personal risk for him (that NPC was always planned but not populated, and the group decided it made sense to tie him to Beelz). We also worked out that he is terrified of Brick, but Brick, being Brick, has never actually noticed, and just thinks Beelz is being accommodating. They’re room mates now.

The players couldn’t think of any role they desperately needed after that, so they went for something fun: an assassin. They decided the character should definitely be female, because it was a bit of a sausage fest otherwise. They also decided she was a Bothan. We followed the same format: one trait from each player, then a free brainstorming session. This gave us:

“Thirteen”

None of the crew know what Thirteen’s real name or actual story are. Every now and again she claims she needs to visit her husband, but each time it’s a different man. They have never seen her without knives or a holdout blaster. Sometimes she’ll just disappear for days. Sometimes, even when they think a mission was their idea, she’ll coincidentally have someone she needs to kill at just that place. Thirteen mostly stays out of the rest of the crew’s business, and she keeps them well out of hers. She’s icy, aloof, and professional. Only the killbot personality in TK has ever gotten a laugh out of her. After Ort died, she took over the captain’s quarters and changed the locks, and no one has been able to get in since. Twice since she’s been with the crew, small groups of well trained killers have tried to hit the ship, which hasn’t made the rest of the crew happy, but Thirteen has not explained anything. She appears to know and will occasionally allude to other character’s secrets, but she hasn’t betrayed any confidences and does not appear likely to. Thirteen is exceptionally capable, and when it suits her, she brings in hard to find jobs that make problems like the APB on their ship just... disappear. She seems content with her situation for now, and as far as anyone can tell, she mostly likes the crew, especially Eshi.

I also gave each NPC four starting opinions, one for each character: very positive, positive, neutral, and negative. I let the players pick who got which and what that meant. I like players having asymmetric access to resources, and I like interesting social dynamics.

Beelz considers Nyla his good luck charm and goes out of his way to do nice little things for her. He’s also predisposed to think of her as competent and in charge because he grew up in a matriarchy and doesn’t examine his own thought process much. For all that Brick terrifies him, he’s a really comprehensible sort, and a useful guy to have at your back. TK is a droid, and kind of a weird one, but meh, what can you do? He doesn’t like having Eshi on the ship, though. He’s just a kid, and that feels irresponsible even for Beelz.

Eshi is Thirteen’s favorite. He’s a smart kid with so much potential. Of all of them, he’s going to be the most useful. She’s amused by TK, especially his violent program. Her relationship to Nyla is cool and professional, and that feels comfortable for both of them. Nyla is more crisp and military around her. But they don’t know each other well personally, and neither seems inclined to. And Brick? What about him? He doesn’t even merit contempt, really. He’s a dime a dozen. We could replace him with any one of a thousand thugs off the street and who could even tell the difference?

More later. Jesus this is long, but I did want to talk about the process, because I think it all went very well.

#Rek DMs #i dmed #Space Bastards

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whateverisbeautiful · 6 years

Text

Richonne in Retrospect

#23: The Sword (5x02)

So y’all, this is like the Husband and Wife season to me. 🙌🏾 Cuz throughout this whole season we really see Rick and Michonne operate like they’re married. And this season was also when Rick and Michonne really felt like the mom and dad of not just Carl and Judith but of the group too. ☺️

It starts in 5x01, with the way Rick looks back at Michonne and Carl in that train car before they’re about to try and break out.

The look they share just feels like that’s him looking back at his family and also knowing that if anything happens to him, Michonne will take care of Carl.

And Michonne looking back at Carl after Rick’s nod says she knows that she’s Carl’s guardian and that she, like Rick, is prepared to protect this kid at all cost.

It’s really a big deal for Rick to feel like he has someone who he could seriously entrust to watch out for his son and who he knows his son would be happy with. 😭

And for him to look back at her and Carl before they go through with this just illustrates the family man he is and also how much of a unit Rick and Michonne are now.

Also I just love that they share a look, cuz y’all this is also the season of plenty of many meaningful looks between Rick and Michonne lol. 🙌🏾

And then later when they are all making their way out of Terminus, Carl and Michonne have a little mother/son tag team moment when killing a walker which is cute and lets you know just why Rick trusts Carl will be in good hands with her.

When they reunite with Carol she brings them all to Tyreese and Judith where Rick and Carl have a heartwarming reunion with the baby.

(And Judith really does look like she’s having an existential crisis upon realizing Tyreese isn’t her dad. 😂)

And after the three of them have reunited, there’s the shot that I absolutely adore of the full family reunion with Michonne included.

Seeing the four of them just makes it feel like this family really is complete. 😍 It legit looks like a family portrait.

It’s definitely not a coincidence that they include this in the shot. Like, while it’s just a background moment, it’s significant cuz it’s sending a message that this is Rick’s immediate family.

And we even see Michonne with the kids in the background of another shot. And I’m here for the subliminal message that she’s the mother in this family. 👏🏽

So then 5x02 happens and we get more insight into Rick and Michonne’s growing dynamic.

As they’re walking, Michonne goes to kill a walker and forgets that she no longer has her katana. And as she has this realization and takes out the walker we see that Rick is taking note of this moment cuz of course he is. 😋

I love that Homeboy pays attention to her like this lol. Like even after the group has reunited and gotten bigger, she’s still very much on his radar.

And, when they come across Father Gabriel, I like how Michonne is willing to be right in the mix of it as Rick talks to him. And Michonne brings up the important piece of info from their conversation which is that he has a church, and that means it’s a place to stay.

When they search the church R&M both look to each other like little partners in crime. 😋And once the place is cleared Rick talks to Father Gabirel and there’s a moment where the whole Grimes Family 2.0 is silhouetted in the shot and it’s again one of those nice little foreshadowing moments.

I noticed when Rick brings up going on this run, Sasha and Bob volunteer to go and then we see when they’ve headed out that Michonne is with them too. I love it cuz, we don’t even have to see that she volunteered to go cuz it’s just this unspoken thing that Michonne will be going with them.

Like it’s not even a question that Rick and Michonne would go together (cuz they’re the parents lol) and it was just a matter of who was going to join them.

When Abraham is in Rick’s ear about needing to head to Washington, Michonne reminds Abraham that they’re going to need supplies before whatever they do.

And Rick immediately co-signs with her and says she’s right like a real one would. 👌🏽

You can tell Homeboy appreciates that Michonne wasn’t afraid to give Abraham some perspective on this.

Ok and then y’all this next moment has me heartbroken even more than I already was. 😭😭

Cuz in this episode we get this father/son conversation that Rick and Carl have in the church and it’s so sad in retrospect.

Rick has a heart to heart with Carl where he’s just honest and tells him, “You are not safe, It only takes one second. One second and it’s over. Never let your guard down. I want you to promise me.” *cue internal and eternal tears*

Like I hate that this line is now a foreshadowing of Carl’s fate, cuz literally in one unassuming second it really did become over for him and that’s just a little too painful to think about rn. 😢

But also similar to season 8, Carl expresses to his dad that they’re strong enough to help people and people can’t all be bad to which Rick’s still like “...yeah but the verdicts still out on this Father Gabriel guy so...

So next, Rick goes on this run with Bob, Sasha, Michonne, and Father Gabriel. The two couples and the pastor. 😌

And y’all, there are some legit wedding vibes in this gif lol. All the way here for it. 🙌🏾

(Side note: Seeing this group on this run was cool cuz it reminded me of how the cast of talented black actors was pretty prevalent in season 5, to the point where they could be the majority on this run. It’s meaningful cuz that’s not often seen in TV. And I’m here for the fact that these characters aren’t just tokens but rather multidimensional people.👏🏽)

So re-watching these episodes made me realize that Hershel wasn’t the only one who would be out here preaching to Rick. Cuz Bob also gave Rick a lot of great insight in his last few episodes and did some preaching of his own.

Bob expresses hope and belief in Rick by assuring him he’s going to find himself in a place of how it used to be, and be back in the real world. And when Rick says, “This is the real world, Bob”, we have this really great line where Bob tells him, “Nah, this is a nightmare and nightmares end.” #true

And then, y’all, Bob pretty much predicts the future. For real. Cuz he tells Rick, “Listen I’m calling it. Washington’s going to happen. You’re going to “say yes.” Already too much momentum.”

Tell me why my extra self heard that and was like…

Lol cuz I love the way this line coincidentally totally applies to Richonne. Like they do head towards Washington mainly due to Rick wanting to follow Michonne’s instinct, and then in Virginia they do “say yes”, and there really is a whole bunch of momentum in their relationship to the point that Richonne was inevitable.

“That’s So Bob” got it quite right, more than he even realizes. 😋

So then after they get that food from that nasty walker infested place we get this adorable moment between Rick and Michonne as they walk through the woods. 😊

And I notice they started off pushing separate carts but in this scene they’re pushing one cart together cuz magnets. 👌🏽 Like to me that says that Rick deliberately wanted to talk to her and be around her so he’s “helping” her with the cart. I see you, Slick RIck. 😋

Rick asks her if she misses the sword and I love that he cares and that he’s basically telling on himself for noticing the moment earlier when she went for her sword but then remembered it wasn’t there.

Michonne says it wasn’t hers to begin with and then Rick sweetly asks “How’d you get so good?”

Y’all it’s just really cute that you can tell he wants to compliment her and learn more about her. ☺️

And it’s cool cuz we’ve seen Rick have to be in leader mode for a minute so it’s nice that we get this moment of him getting to have just a normal friendly conversation with her.

This also reminds me of in season 4 when Carl was eager to learn more about Michonne too. Like these boys really have been intrigued by her from the jump. 😌

She tells Rick about how it was just her and the walkers out there and she doesn’t know what that was but it wasn’t a life. And that line made me think about season 7 when she asks Rick what kind of life they’d be living if they stayed under Negan and with her help Rick eventually came to the conclusion that living life oppressed wasn’t a life.

And then I love the playfulness when she says what they did today, digging through slime for peas and carrots, is living. 😋

Like I feel like it’s a consistent aspect of Michonne’s character to feel most alive when they’re fighting the fight, whether that be getting guns for a war or getting peas and carrots for her family.

And upon hearing this, we see yet again how Michonne can always make Rick genuinely smile, cuz then he responds like this…

😁😊 It’s like that’s a smile reserved just for her and it’s really sweet to see how clearly happy he is when he’s around her. And this moment gives a nice glimpse into what they’ll be like as a couple.

It also further confirms that Michonne can bring out a different more relaxed and lighthearted side of Rick that he really needs.

And then I love that Michonne gets even more vulnerable when she tells Rick how she misses Andrea and Hershel. I feel like hearing that really cements how these two have actually been through a lot together and experienced some tough losses but they’re still here and still together.

Michonne then says she doesn’t miss what was before and she doesn’t miss that sword. And in knowing that she considers that isolated time in her life as her “before” it lets you know that in this new “after” she’s now ready to be more open to letting people in, like she did when she decided to reunite with Rick and Carl in “After”.

I appreciate that she shares this with him and that Rick is all ears. And honestly this is the real deal love cuz for them to have just gone through that rank water and still be all close and smiley, that means they have the real thing, y’all. 💯😋

It’s sweet to see them have this time to just talk and build the friendship in a more one-on-one setting. And I’m glad this scene was included cuz I feel like in this current state of the show they tend to cut stuff like this when it really is needed to help build the character’s relationships.

So I appreciate that this scene got to breathe and take it’s time and solidify the openness and happiness Rick and Michonne share with one another.

Like watching this scene it’s pretty clear that they have a natural chemistry and that they are still drawn to each other now just like they were when it was just them and Carl.

It’s often said how one of the things that make Richonne so special is that it was built on a really great and solid friendship and that’s why I love this moment, because this is one of those moments that showed us their friendship and also how much potential they have to evolve into more. 👌🏽😊

#richonne #richonne fandom #richonne family #michonne #rick grimes #michonne grimes #carl grimes #grimes family 2.0 #twd #the walking dead #s5 #not my gifs #5.02

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sgtbellamyblake · 6 years

Text

oh what fun it is

Summary: Bellamy brings home an item that watches them grow in love and size over the years, being the heart of their holidays for a lifetime.

Word Count: 1,782

Check out the links below so you can have visuals while reading the story!

A/N: To celebrate that December is finally here and Christmas is right around the corner I wrote this little one-shot and it’s just pure fluff! It was inspired by my own dad who used to absolutely love this toy we got for the holidays when I was younger but it got very old and stopped working so we’ve now replaced it with this one. They’re both featured in the story. I really hope you enjoy, happy holidays!

[AO3]

It’s their first Christmas Eve together in their new apartment that Bellamy comes home with the singing toy and it’s safe to say she’s surprised because Bellamy’s kind of a Grinch when it comes to Christmas.

They’re getting ready to go over to Abby and Kane’s to celebrate for the night, and Clarke made him go out to the store to get a bottle of scotch while she finished getting ready. God forbid they show up at her mother’s house without one. Kane would love any other gift as much, even if it wouldn’t last till the 25th. He and Bellamy would probably empty the bottle before midnight.

She’s walking out the hallway putting her earrings on when she sees him by the tree, getting something out of the CVS bag that does not look like a bottle of scotch whiskey.

“Please never make me go to the store on Christmas Eve, ever again.” He says, his back to her.

“Didn’t take you so long.” Clarke argues.

“That doesn’t look like scotch.” She tells him, watching him place a Winnie the Pooh, Tigger and Eeyore plush toy riding a sleigh under their tree.

“It’s in the car.” Bellamy chuckles.

“What is that?” Clarke raises an eyebrow and approaches the tree.

“Wait for it…” He crouches down to press Eeyore’s paw and the toy starts dancing and singing along to Jingle Bells.

He grins up at her and she giggles. She can’t help the warm feeling she gets in her chest as she watches him enjoy something related to the holiday. It’s in the way his eyes look as he stares at it.

“We used to have one like this when we were little. It was Mickey Mouse. He was dressed like an elf. Deck the Halls.” Bellamy reminisces, standing up straight. Clarke wraps her arm around his waist and rests her head on his chest as he speaks again.

“We didn’t get it out the following Christmas after she died. I don’t know… I guess it just kinda reminded us of her and we hadn’t come to terms with it all yet. I thought maybe it was time to pick up the tradition again… Kinda like a new beginning, right?”

She’s quiet and listens carefully to his words. He doesn’t usually talk an awful lot about his mom so when he occasionally does she always gives him the space to talk freely.

“Yeah,” Clarke nods and leans up to kiss him. “I think it’s perfect.”

He soon gets upgraded from his Grinch status.

____

The following year the toy gets a whole new meaning for them.

They’re hosting Christmas Eve dinner for their friends and after everyone’s naturally eaten way too much they’re all sitting at the living room around the tree exchanging gifts.

Clarke sits next to Bellamy when he pats her hip and tells her to go turn the toy on.

She doesn’t argue when he does, given that the toy makes him happy rather than being a sad reminder of a part of his life he can no longer reach. It has a new purpose now that Clarke and him have a life together.

She stands up and bends in front of the toy to press it when she notices something out of place. A small velvet box sits on top of Eeyore’s paws and she freezes in place. She almost doesn’t dare to grab the box—just in case it isn’t for her—but then she does and when she turns around Bellamy’s down on one knee in front of her and all their friends are looking at her expectantly, holding their phones out to record the moment about to happen. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen Octavia cry before.

Bellamy slips his hand in his pocket as if he’s looking for something and she’s confused because she’s already holding the box. She hasn’t even opened it.

“Open it!” Octavia encourages her and she does. She’s speechless.

“I wrote something and I lost the damn paper!” Bellamy says and he sounds nervous, which is unusual for him.

“Dude, just say something!” Miller laughs and Bellamy runs a hand over his unruly hair in frustration.

“I love you and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you and play that toy every Christmas till we’re old and die.”

“Jesus…” Jasper mutters and they laugh.

“Will you marry me?”

Clarke can’t handle how perfect Bellamy looks all nervous and probably hating himself because he thinks he ruined the proposal for losing his speech. She thinks it’s just right and all it takes is for her to turn around and press Eeyore’s paw for the room to erupt in cheers and applauses for them.

Pooh, Tigger and Eeyore sing Jingle Bells in the background when she says yes. ____

“Maybe it’s gonna scare her.” Clarke tells her husband as she attempts to wrap a garland around the tree. He’s supposed to be helping her but he’s opened one of the boxes full of decorations and found the toy. She’s gonna have to decorate on her own.

“She’ll love it.” Bellamy says as he lays it on the floor in front of the bouncer. Quickly the three month old has their full attention.

“Rory,” He coos to try and get his daughter’s attention as he presses Eeyore’s paw and music fills the air.

The baby watches the item with a straight face and Clarke can’t help but laugh.

So Rory’s not the chirpiest baby around, but it’s no surprise to anyone. No one expects any less knowing who her parents are.

“She is not amused at all.” Clarke tells Bellamy and he’s still determined. “No, let’s wait a bit longer.” He insists.

Soon enough the song is over and the eager dad turns the toy on again. Rory can’t help but to finally break a smile and kick her socked little feet, making her bounce in her seat.

“Look! She’s smiling! She likes it!” He points out in excitement.

To Clarke, the moment is just as sweet as the tune playing and even though it’s not yet Christmas, her holiday’s are complete.

It’s their most special moment with the Christmas plush yet. ____

After years of being put to good use, the toy’s batteries finally gives up on them and Clarke thinks it took way too long. Maybe it was because they always took them out before putting it away for the rest of the year but this time the batteries are just plain dead.

Clarke is in the middle of making after dinner when she hears the distorted sound coming from the living room and genuinely gets scared.

“Daddy!” Rory calls out from the living room to her father, who’s just getting home from work and soon after Jack is in his arms, crying. She doesn’t blame the three year old. The sound the toy made was terrifying.

“It’s probably just the batteries, bug. I’ll fix it.” He promises, walking over to pick up the toy from under the tree.

The three of them crowd around the kitchen counter and the kids watch as Bellamy unscrews the cap and changes the batteries for them. In no time, Pooh, Tigger and Eeyore are singing again and this time probably as loud as when they first got the toy, new batteries and all.

Jack claps, shrieking through teary eyes and Rory dances along to the music. Clarke thinks she might even feel their unborn child doing a little flip at the sound as well. The kids disappear with the toy back into the living room and that night they listen to Jingle Bells so many times they’ll probably have to change the batteries again soon. ____

The toy stops working, coincidentally, the Christmas after their third child goes off to college and Bellamy mopes around for a whole day about it. It’s probably also the fact that they have an empty nest. Clarke roams every CVS in town trying to find a new one but, of course, she doesn’t. It’s an old thing. ____

Many Christmases later, the couple sits at their living room, surrounded by grandkids and torn up wrapping paper. They’ve substituted their cups of coffee for scissors and are attempting to open the kids presents up because Lord knows these days toys come way too tightly secured, too much plastic. Rory, Jack and Levi along with their significant others all nurse their cups of coffee in hands while they let the grandparents do all the work and Bellamy and Clarke don’t mind at all.

Clarke sees the three of her children stand up and Levi picks up a box, surprisingly still wrapped, from under the tree. The little ones are normally eager to rip open every single box under the tree but that one seemed to have gotten away. Levi winks at his mother and clears his throat.

“Uh, dad…” Jack speaks first to try and get his attention and Bellamy lifts his head to meet his three grown children. He takes his glasses off and Rory continues.

“So we know we haven’t given you your present yet but we wanted to save it for last.”

Clarke knows Bellamy doesn’t really care for present because to him his family, this moment were the best gift, but she was curious.

Levi places the box on top of his father’s lap and tiny pairs of hands immediately cover the box. Bellamy let his grandkids help him open it and when he takes a peek inside he loses his breath.

“What is it, Bell?” Clarke asks, as she takes her littlest grandchild in her lap and tries to sneak a look at the contents of the box.

Out of the box he takes out an identical toy to the one he’d lost years ago. A brand new Winnie the Pooh, Tigger and Eeyore riding a sleigh smiling back at him. It’s when he presses Eeyore’s paw and Jingle Bells starts playing that all the kids go crazy, giggles filling the air and it takes him a second or two to gather himself together before stand up to hug his grown children.

“Do you like it?” Levi asks as he squeezes the three of them as tight as he can and he laughs.

“It’s perfect.” Bellamy whispers, his voice tight and careful. Clarke can’t see his face but she can tell he’s crying. “Where did you find it?” He asks, still in shock.

“Ebay.” Rory laughs, knowing most of the time her father uses the internet he doesn’t even know what he was doing. He just clicks and scrolls aimlessly. “Merry Christmas, Dad.”

And just like that Pooh, Tigger and Eeyore sing for many years after that.

#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #g did a thing #one shot

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jaded-envy · 7 years

Text

hit the ground running

Soul's crush on the girl he sees jogging in the park is the one thing that makes his crappy barista job tolerable. Learning how to run in order to keep up with her might just kill him though. Also featuring Black*Star as a Total Bro.

READ HERE: [ao3] [ff.net]

Welcome to my first fic for the Soul Eater fandom and the culmination of my July 2017 Camp Nanowrimo goals! This is an entirely self-indulgent fic, as I started running with C25K this summer, but I do hope you enjoy!

A thousand thanks to my beta and writing sister, @redphlox - she is the best and the most awesome and please go read her SoMa fics if you haven't already! And I couldn't have finished this without the help from my husband, who provided much of the crazy Black*Star punishments.

“my heart could take a chance, but my two feet can’t find a way”

-I Don’t Feel Like Dancing by Scissor Sisters

“my girl’s a switchblade, bright lights on a cityscape,

wherever she goes, I’m gonna chase”

-Celeste by Ezra Vine

“so you say one day you’ll be my life, my love, my guiding light,

my pillar of strength; I’ll call you home, my rock, my stone”

- Testify by Hifi Sean and Crystal Waters

The windows of the café are smudged, and Soul resolves to make sure Hiro catches hell for screwing up the one thing that makes this job enjoyable. At least it's not too hard to see out into the park beyond - he can see yellow and orange tinges on the leaves on the trees, and the ducks by the pond waddling around pulling at the grass. It's beautiful by most people's accounts, but Soul is looking for something that he thinks is much prettier.

"Whatcha looking at?"

Soul jumps a half a foot in the air and whirls around to see his least favorite customer and best friend lounging at the counter, looking bored.

"Is Jogging Chick passing by or something?" Black*Star raises up on his tiptoes, trying to look over Soul's shoulder. Soul uses his height to his advantage for once, drawing himself up completely and blocking him from the view of the window.

"No," Soul says, scowling. "Go away Black*Star, I'm busy working."

Black*Star makes a show of looking around the almost completely abandoned café. "Obviously."

He sighs. "What do you want?"

Black*Star shakes a finger in Soul's face, prompting him to bare his teeth in response. "Now Soul, is that any way to talk to a customer?"

Soul rolls his eyes. "Customers pay. You're here because you want to bum an espresso off me."

Black*Star gasps dramatically. "How could you suggest that I'm here for any other reason than to see how my best bro was doing and coincidentally buy a coffee with my own legally tendered currency, though now that I think about it I may have left my wallet at home…"

Soul tunes him out, subtly trying to keep the park in sight as he nods along to Black*Star's increasing loud excuses. Soul is contemplating giving in and just making him the damn coffee when he sees her.

"Shut up, shut up," Soul says absently, cutting him off and pushing Black*Star's face away as he cranes his neck around.

And there she is - the one thing that makes his crappy barista job worthwhile. With her blonde hair in pigtails, long toned legs, bright pink tank top, black shorts, Soul couldn't imagine a cuter sight. Her hands gesture animatedly, never breaking stride as she relates some story to her friend. When she laughs, he imagines her voice to be bright and cheerful; when she chances a glance at the street, he imagines her eyes to be lively and kind. Watching her run is like watching seals swim, or hawks glide - it's watching something so graceful, so in its element, and so far off from what he's capable of.

She's absolutely beautiful, and completely unobtainable.

Black*Star squints at Soul's object of affection. "That's her?" he asks, incredulous. "The skinny flat-chested one?" He side-eyes Soul. "That's the one?"

"Mmhm," Soul almost sighs.

Black*Star makes an indecipherable noise. The girl's pigtails bounce in time with the cadence of her gait.

"One time, some creep tried to grope her as she was drinking from the water fountain," Soul says dreamily, watching her. "She turned around and karate-kicked him in the head."

Black*Star raises an eyebrow. "And…you thought that was hot?"

Soul buries his face in his hands. "Yes," he mumbles from between his fingers. What he doesn't say is that he's pretty sure she could kick his ass three ways to Friday and he would enjoy every minute of it.

Black*Star shakes his head. "I mean, whatever floats your boat dude, but if I were you I'd be after that one." He points to the other girl, a taller, dark-haired woman. "Actually no," Black*Star revises, "you can keep your interest in the skinny one. The other one is more my style."

The two of them admire the girls as they run past. As they disappear from view, Soul resigns himself to another long, boring day with nothing else to look forward to. He tries not to dwell on the fact that the most exciting part of his day is over in about seven minutes.

"Tell you what, my best bro," Black*Star says, leaning on the counter. "I'm gonna do you a huge favor."

"Black*Star, the last time you told me that, I ended up crawling out of Mrs. Kearn's window after accidentally discovering her bondage porn collection."

He rolls his eyes. "You still got your cassette tape back before she chucked it."

"I couldn't look her in the eye for the rest of the semester," Soul hisses, fingers tightening on the edge of the counter.

Black*Star waves his protests away. "Listen. You have a morning shift again tomorrow right?"

"Yes," Soul says reluctantly.

"Good. Meet me in the park at four." Black*Star starts to move away, hollering, "And don't you dare try to skip, remember, I know where you live!"

"We're roommates you asshole!" Soul yells after him. He glances apologetically at the few customers in the shop, then blows out a heavy sigh, running his fingers through his hair.

Fuck. Maybe it wasn't too late to move back to Connecticut.

The next day, Soul kicks at the leaves littering the asphalt of the park trail. There's a chill in the air heralding the onset of fall, and the few passersby wear scarves and hats. He shrinks into himself as much as possible, feeling like a complete dolt in the thin gym clothes Black*Star insisted he wear.

"All right!" Black*Star's voice rings out, entirely too cheerful. "Glad you could make it!" He hands a coffee cup to Soul.

Soul glares at him over the rim. "You dragged me out of here after kicking down my door and waking me up from my nap with a water balloon to the face."

"You weren't getting up!"

"That doesn't mean - ugh, whatever." He takes a sip of his coffee and grimaces. "This is horrible, where did you get this from?"

"Your coffee shop."

Soul sighs. Looks like Kid was going to have to be trained again on how to make a proper cup of coffee. Hopefully he wouldn't insist on counting out how many coffee beans went into the grinder like he did last time. "Why are we out here again?"

"Listen broski." Black*Star cracks his neck and starts doing lunges. "You wanna get together with your Jogging Chick, I wanna meet her bodacious friend. Now, we both know that there's a snowball's chance in hell of you just going up and asking the girl out because you're a total pansy."

"Hey!"

Black*Star raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, fair," Soul mutters.

"Anyway, I figure the only way to get both of us what we want is to meet them on their own turf, doing their thing."

"Wait," Soul says, heart sinking, "wait, you don't mean-"

"And that means running!"

Soul groans. "Black*Star, you know how I feel about physical activity."

"Well that's why we're out here late, so we can get started without running into them. Heh. Oh, by the way, think fast!"

Soul barely catches the object thrown at him, fumbling with what he identifies as his own phone.

"Took the liberty of loading your new exercise program on it."

"It's password protected, how the fuck did you get in?"

Black*Star holds a finger to his lips. "Gods don't reveal their secrets."

Soul groans, resolving to change his password for the third time this week. He scrolls through his apps, locates a new, obnoxiously bright orange one, taps it. "C25K?"

"I have all my clients use it if they want to try running, so I figured it'd work on you too. Load it up, we're gonna do the first week together. Week two, we'll run when the girls do and introduce ourselves that way."

Soul's tempted to turn on his heel and go spend the rest of his day off doing preferably anything else, but he recognizes the look in Black*Star's eyes - one that almost dares him to try wriggling his way out of this one. Last time he challenged that look, he ended up finding out exactly how many mousetraps could fit into his bedroom at once.

So he sighs instead and digs out his headphones. Black*Star bounces eagerly from foot to foot, leads him through some basic stretches, and falls in step with Soul when he starts his warm up walk.

Thirty minutes later, Soul is bracing himself against a tree, trying to catch his breath. Meanwhile, Black*Star has hardly broken a sweat and is currently doing one handed pushups. Soul kind of hates him.

Black*Star flips into a hand stand, then pushes off to stand normally as Soul slouches his way down the pathway towards their apartment. Black*Star shoves ahead of him and begins jogging backwards.

"Good job today buddy." He flashes Soul two thumbs up.

"Yeah yeah, whatever," Soul grumbles.

"First day is always the hardest! You'll get the hang of it soon." His index fingers stick out to join his thumbs as he gives Soul two finger guns. "Then we'll get you hooked up with your crush -" he turns his fingers onto himself, "- and me with her lady friend."

Yeah right, Soul thinks to himself. Black*Star's always been a little deluded about Soul's motivation and dedication, being the complete opposite of him in both areas. If Soul had a shred of the drive Black*Star possessed, he'd be…well, he probably wouldn't be working at a coffee shop full time, with no real prospects on the horizon, and staring longingly out the window at a girl he knows he'll never work up the courage to meet.

By the third day of running, Soul's body seems to be adjusting to the increased activity it's being subjected to. Black*Star declares that three days from now, on Soul's next day off, they'll be meeting at one, the same time the girls usually run.

Soul almost bails three times before Black*Star forcibly drags him to the park. When he realizes there's no getting out of it, Soul insists that they get there at least a half hour early, partly in hopes that they'll be done with their session before his crush shows up. He doesn't think he could handle the first time she looks at him be a look of disgust, or worse, pity.

He almost gets his wish - they're on their fourth walking interval when through the trees he spots the two girls on the opposite side of the park. Soul's heart stutters in his chest and he almost slows to a stop, staring at her like a fucking moron. He can't help it though; without the windowpane separating them, she seems so much more vivid and within reach.

Then Soul remembers that he's currently incredibly sweaty and red-faced from running and not at all attractive. He picks up the pace, jogs faster when the program tells him to run, keeping one ear free of earbuds to listen for them.

It's in vain though - he can hear their footsteps behind him and their rapid fire speech over the sound of his music and the trudging of his feet. He keeps his eyes trained ahead, and doesn't look at them as they pull up next to him. His heart is pounding in his chest, and he doesn't think he can blame it just on exertion.

They pass him without even a glance his way, and he's just about to breathe a sigh of relief and settle back into familiar longing when Black*Star starts to pull ahead. One glance into his eyes and Soul's hissing his name, trying desperately to get him to not embarrass them or get them arrested.

Predictably, Black*Star ignores him, and Soul is forced to watch as his running partner/coach begins to catch up with the two. Instead of overtaking them, though, he falls into pace on the other side of the taller girl. Soul's crush shoots Black*Star a glare, and he can hear the fierceness in her tone as she addresses Black*Star, even though he's too far away to hear the actual words. They disappear around the bend, and Soul gives up on catching up to them, focusing instead on finishing his session. Worse comes to worse he'll just pretend not to know Black*Star and take his punishment for that later.

About ten minutes later, Soul spies the three standing near the water fountain. The girl is leaning forward, arms crossed, arguing with Black*Star, who is mirroring her pose - her friend stands between them, looking amused. Soul slows his pace, debating on whether to approach them or turn around and leave, when Black*Star sees him and makes an over-exaggerated gesture of "get over here!". Soul finds himself on the receiving end of three gazes, one curious, one suspicious and one sly, and reluctantly makes his way over.

"Here he is!" Black*Star crows, and Soul suppresses the urge to punch him. He hovers next to his loud-mouth friend, giving only a grunt and a nod in acknowledgement. Up close the girl is cuter than ever, with freckles and bright green eyes that are currently narrowed at him and Black*Star.

"We were just saying to your friend that we haven't seen you guys around the park before." Even her voice is attractive, and he feels completely tongue tied as she continues to scrutinize him. "Do you run here often?" she asks.

"He's just starting," Black*Star says, and Soul feels his face heat up.

The girl gives him an appraising look, then breaks out into a smile. "Good for you!" she says, sincere, and he flushes further. "I'm Maka." She sticks out her hand to shake. Soul goes to shake it, hoping he doesn't get her hand too sweaty.

"Tsubaki," the other girl says, giving him a small wave and a gentle smile.

Black*Star winks at her. "Black*Star. This sad lump here is Soul."

"Hey," Soul mutters.

"Turns out we go to the same dojo! Who would have thought huh? Maka here takes the morning classes though, so that's why we've never met."

"A true shame," Maka deadpans. Soul falls further. "Anyway, Tsubaki and I have to get going, but it was nice meeting you Soul." She gives him another brilliant smile that makes him duck his head.

"You too," he manages, studying his shoes.

"I'll see you at yoga class tomorrow Tsubaki!" Black*Star hollers. "Eight am!" Tsubaki gives him a thumbs up before jogging after Maka.

"Eight am?" Soul asks him slyly as they walk towards their apartment. "You never get up before noon. You passed up on a promotion at the gym because it would mean you start your shift at ten!"

"Got the promotion anyway because I'm so awesome," Black*Star responds. "Also, shut your piehole. Shouldn't you be mooning over the fact that you now know Jogging Chick's name? Don't think for a second that I didn't see you making eyes at her."

"Wasn't making eyes," Soul grumbles - then, at Black*Star's incredulous stare, "What about you, huh, I think if you flexed for her friend any more, your biceps would fall off."

"A body this good needs proper appreciation," he replies airily. "Don't be jealous, I flex for you plenty."

Soul shudders. "Please stop. In fact, just save it all for Tsubaki, she'll appreciate it more."

"That's the plan!" Black*Star sings as they cross the street.

They fall into a companionable silence for the rest of the way back, and it gives him time to think about the new developments in his love life (if he could even call it that). If he had been secretly hoping, just a little, that actually meeting her would make any potential feelings he had for her wither, well, that had been thrown out the window completely.

Maka. Soul mulls over the name, turning it over in his mind. He thinks of her sharp green eyes - her sarcastic, take-no-shit tone - her open, friendly smile. Maka.

The weekend after, Soul is rudely awakened, once again, by his asshole of a roommate, who bursts into his room and loudly announces that they're going to the basketball courts in twenty minutes so "get up and get dressed before I start to see how well your records act as frisbees."

Truthfully, basketball is one of the few forms of physical activity Soul can get behind, so it's with a minimal amount of grumbling that he gets ready. In fact, Soul is feeling pretty good up until Black*Star casually mentions that Tsu and his potential snugglebunny would be there too.

His only consolation is that Maka, apparently, did not seem to know that this was happening either.

"Soul!" Maka greets him enthusiastically, and Soul does his best to give her a cool nod in response. "I'm glad you're here. Did you know that this was going on?"

He shakes his head. They watch as Black*Star zooms over to Tsubaki, saying something that makes her giggle.

"I think she's really taken with him," Maka confesses quietly. She huffs. "Honestly, I'm not sure why…"

"Black*Star is a good guy," Soul protests, feeling weirdly protective. "He's loud and obnoxious and brash, yeah, but he's really loyal, and he's uh, helped me out a lot."

Maka hums. "I guess I can see that," she concedes. "Still, if he hurts Tsubaki I'll kick his ass."

"I'm sure you will," he says, and if it comes out a lot more admiringly than he meant it to, Maka doesn't seem to notice.

"Yo scrubs, get over here!" Black*Star calls.

Soul and Maka exchange a wordless glance of resignation.

"There's four of us, so we're gonna be on two teams. Soul, my bro, you take Maka here, and I'm gonna take Tsubaki."

"What exactly are we doing?" Maka asks.

"Basketball, duh."

"What? I don't know how to play basketball."

"What, didn't your boyfriend or girlfriend ever teach you?" Wow, subtle, Soul thinks, glaring daggers at Black*Star and trying not to cringe. Black*Star gives him a wink in response

"Don't have one," Maka responds briskly. "Ugh, fine, I'll play, but I need to look up the rules."

Black*Star looks at Soul like "seriously? You have a crush on her?" and Soul scowls at him in response. "Whatever," Black*Star says. "We're gonna warm up then."

They run a lap or two around the court, then move to the other end for lay-ups. "Did you hear that?!" Black*Star whispers at a volume roughly equivalent to an airhorn as he passes the ball to Soul. "She's single!"

"Shut up!" Soul hisses, frantically checking to see if Maka heard. Luckily she seems too preoccupied with reading the rules of basketball on her phone (what a nerd, he thinks far too fondly) to have heard Black*Star. "That doesn't even mean anything," he says. "She could not be into guys for all we know."

Black*Star takes a deep breath and Soul just about falls over in stuffing his hands over Black*Star's mouth before he could do something stupid like ask her about her gender preferences. Black*Star grimaces and struggles, but Soul keeps an iron grip on him until he finally stops moving and rolls his eyes instead. Soul carefully removes his hands, and relaxes slightly when all Black*Star does is sigh. "She's into guys, trust me," he says. "She was totally checking you out when you were running."

Soul scowls. "No she wasn't," he says, but still turns his head to look at Maka, still staring intently at her phone, as if he could catch her in the act.

Black*Star shrugs. "If you say so dude. Hey dorkzilla!" he yells across the court. "We gonna play or what?"

Maka looks up and the fire in her eyes does weird things to Soul's stomach. "What did you just call me?" she growls as she stuffs her phone in her pocket.

"We can do a practice game first, since I'm a gracious god," Black*Star says magnanimously.

Maka favors Black*Star with a wicked smile. "Bring it on, Smurf."

Maka's really, really terrible at basketball.

"You really suck at this," Soul says when the ball bounces off the court for the fifth time after she fumbled with dribbling.

"Thanks, tell me something I didn't know," she grumbles. "Can't I just hold the ball and dribble occasionally?"

"No, that's called double dribbling and is against the rules," he says again patiently.

"Ugh!" She throws her hands up in the air. "This is so confusing and makes no sense!"

"It makes perfect sense," he insists. He casts around for something for her to do that doesn't involve touching the ball. "Look," he says, "how about you guard Black*Star while I try to get the ball."

She looks a little cheered at that, and eagerly jogs to get in front of Black*Star. Soul takes Tsubaki as she comes back from retrieving the ball. He keeps his eyes trained on hers, and when she moves to toss it, he easily reaches up and knocks it off course with the tips of his fingers. Quick as lightening, he regains control of the ball and dashes down the court, sinking the ball into the net.

"Yes!" he cheers, only to become aware of the squabbling happening off to the side.

"SOUL!" Black*Star bellows, sounding a little strangled. Soul turns to see him struggling in a chokehold, face a slight tinge of red. "GET YOUR GIRL-"

"MAKA!" Soul interrupts loudly. "You're not supposed to touch him! Just block him from getting the ball."

"Well how was I supposed to know that?" Maka drops her grip to cross her arms.

Black*Star takes a deep overdramatic gasp of air and glares at her. "Overpowered pipsqueak," he says with a begrudging tone of respect.

"Hyperactive buffoon," Maka replies easily.

Tsubaki claps her hands together. "Should we start playing for score now?"

Soul hesitates, glancing at Maka. She catches his eye. "I think I understand it now," she insists. "No double dribbling, can't touch the other person, put the ball into the net." She flashes him a smile and a thumbs up that does nothing to reassure him but has his face heating anyway.

They're losing terribly. Soul stopped keeping track of the score fifteen points ago.

It doesn't help that Black*Star seems to be hellbent on winning. Normally, Soul can hold his own against Black*Star. Actually, Soul would wager he's slightly better at basketball - he's got the reach and the precision that Black*Star, for all of his superior speed, strength and stamina, doesn't have. When they play one on one, they usually come out pretty evenly, maybe even slightly in Soul's favor.

But for whatever reason, Black*Star seems to be pulling out all the stops this game, including parkouring up the basketball pole for a dunk.

"I thought you were supposed to be helping me!" Soul growls as he attempts to slap the ball away from his so called friend.

"I am!" Black*Star retorts, easily dodging. "She's pathetic at this game, making you look bad will give you a chance to bond!"

"That is not helping," he grits out as Black*Star backs off, before running straight at him and literally sliding between Soul's legs. He then proceeds to take a shot, which bounces off the rim, then springs into the air with the help of Tsubaki's laced fingers to catch the ball and dunk it. "Yahoo!" he shouts, pumping his fist in the air.

An hour later, they declare the game over. Tsubaki and Black*Star win by 35 points.

"Well that was a disaster," Soul says, sitting next to Maka on the bench, watching Black*Star chat up Tsubaki across the court.

Maka flicks her hair out of her face. "Sorry," she huffs, crossing her arms.

"'S okay." He shrugs. "I still had fun. Playing with you I mean."

Out the corner of his eye he can see her scrutinizing him, probably judging whether he's sincere or not. He keeps his face carefully blank, looking away from her.

"I had fun too," she admits finally. "Thanks for helping me out."

He shrugs again, but can't help the smile that pulls at the corner of his mouth. "We'll beat them next time," he assures her.

Her eyes brighten. "Yeah!" she says, jumping up. "I'm sure the library has some books on basketball. Next time I'll definitely know the rules."

He chuckles, shaking his head. "What?" she asks, defensive.

"Nothing," Soul says, standing up. She narrows his eyes at him. "You know," he begins, trying to adopt a casual tone, "if you uh, wanted to practice, we could play. Together. Sometime. Whenever." He bites his tongue to stop more inane words from spilling out.

"Sure," she says. Soul does an internal fist pump as they exchange phone numbers.

The edges of the sky are just starting to turn dusky when Maka and Tsubaki decide to call it a day.

"See you around?" Soul says, hopeful, as they gather their jackets.

"See you around!" Maka confirms, waving goodbye.

Black*Star flashes Soul a thumbs up that is about as subtle as a brick to the face. He can only hope that she didn't see that, though a burst of quiet giggles from Tsubaki lets him know that at least one other person witnessed it.

"Well that went well," Black*Star says. "Want to have a rematch? Try to scrape together some of your pride after we kicked your ass so thoroughly?"

Soul shakes his head. "I'm good." He begins to walk away in the direction of their apartment, but pauses when he realizes Black*Star isn't following him. "You comin'?" he asks.

Black*Star stretches. "You go on ahead. And don't wait up, I have a date tonight."

Soul's mouth drops open. "What? Tonight?"

Black*Star rolls his shoulders. "Yu-p! Tsubaki and I are gonna go out to that pho shop on 6th Ave."

"Already? You already asked her out? What did you even say?"

He gives him a strange look. "I told her that I thought she was attractive and if she was interested, I'd give her the opportunity to go on best date she's ever been on."

"H - how," Soul manages, "how are you good at this."

"Well I can't blame her for wanting to get it on with a god," Black*Star says, preening, "but ladies love confidence, man."

Soul chews on his lip. "Really?"

"Yeah dude! You gotta show them that you're worth their time! Why would they want to date you if you don't think you're worthy of it?"

Soul mulls this over. Black*Star catches his expression, and quickly amends, "Obviously you don't want to be an asshole, she doesn't owe anything to you, but confidence is sexy!"

He has a point, Soul is forced to agree. He thinks about Maka's smirk, the challenge in her eyes when Black*Star goads her into racing him, the assuredness in her stance when she tells off some guy for catcalling her or Tsubaki.

"Maybe you're right," he concedes.

"Of course I'm right," Black*Star scoffs. "Now off with you peon, I've got to warm up for my date."

He settles into a routine. Three times a week, Soul pulls on his gym clothes and pulls up a playlist before trudging over to the park, where he spends a half hour cursing out the little voice telling him when to walk and run. Sometimes Black*Star joins him, sharing entirely too much detail about his relationship with Tsubaki. Sometimes Tsubaki joins the both of them, which is always worse because of the extra details she adds to Black*Star's lewd stories.

Maka isn't always there at first - he still stops to watch her run past the coffee shop whenever he's on a morning shift - but when he mentions the times he's been running at, she starts to show up more often. She'll lap him with a cheerful shout and a wave, and he can't find it in himself to berate his slow pace when it means he's watching her from behind. Sometimes she'll loop back around after she's finished running around the park, joining him for his intervals.

His five minute cooldown walk begins to turn into a half hour walk around the block with Maka, and soon enough he's meeting her for long wandering journeys on the days he's not running. They explore the city together, sometimes chatting or arguing as they thread through back alleys and narrow side streets, sometimes not saying anything at all, just admiring the trees and buildings in a comfortable quiet. He never realized before how little he's seen of the city he's called home for the past three years. And seeing it through Maka's eyes is refreshing - where he notices litter on the ground, she calls his attention to an intricate, gothic design on the side of a building. He wrinkles his nose at squashed restaurants that look like the last time they were mopped was when the place was built; she orders Mexican food at a suspicious looking food truck and it ends up being the best taco he'd ever had.

They're walking down one of the areas a little outside of the old district. Maka's balancing on a short wall, teasing him that she's taller than he is as he looks up at her. Every once and a while, she gets a little wobbly and reaches out for his shoulder to steady herself. He grumbles half-heartedly, pretending to be annoyed to hide his pleasure at her brushing against him.

"Hey uh, Maka," he starts.

"Hmm?"

"I uh…" Crap, this was so much easier when he was practicing in his mirror, Black*Star's obnoxious remarks notwithstanding. He squares his shoulders. "I made you a playlist."

"You did?" she exclaims, hopping down in front of him.

Soul nods, and pulls out his phone and a pair of earbuds. "Here," he says, unlocking the phone and handing it to her. "You can listen. If you want. Or later, if you didn't want to now…"

She's already popped the headphones in her ears and is bopping along to the music. "Hey this is pretty good!" she says too loudly.

"Thanks," he mutters, pleased.

"What?"

"Thanks," he says louder as she takes an earbud out to hear him better.

"You should listen to my stuff too!" Maka shoves her phone at him. His heart skips a beat when he realizes her background photo is the selfie they took in front of a random statue of some short beaked thing with a cane and top hat. The two of them are smiling widely as they mimic the statues ridiculous pose, and his stomach does flip-flops as he loads up her music program.

"Wow," he says about halfway through a song. "This is…this is what you listen to?"

"Yeah! I love Owl City!" She hums a few bars for him, off-key. "Are you a fan too?"

"No way in hell," he says, wincing at the synthesized warble in the singer's voice.

As she punches him in the shoulder, he realizes suddenly how easy this all is - how he doesn't feel like clamming up around her, how he doesn't worry about saying the wrong thing or upsetting her. How he's slowly stopped thinking that she'll eventually realize that he's not that interesting, or bold, or as quick as she is, and will drop out of his life.

He pauses in the middle of the sidewalk. Maka walks on, but stops and turns back when she sees he isn't following. She pulls the earbuds out of her ear. "Soul?"

"Maka," he says, swallowing hard.

She tilts her head.

Ladies love confidence, he reminds himself as he opens his mouth. "I…" He clears his throat. "I…uh…" His hands tremble, and he stuffs them in his pocket as he opens his mouth to try again. "You…I mean, I…like…"

"Soul?" She's looking at him in concern now, and he feels the last of his nerve die as she takes a tentative step closer. "Are you okay? What do you like?"

"I really like this song!" he blurts out, shying away from her.

Her face brightens. "You do?"

"Yeah, uh -" he checks the screen, “- Waving Out The Window? It's um, good."

"I have the whole album!" she exclaims. "I can lend it to you if you want!"

"That would be great," he lies, sending a mental apology to his eardrums.

The long, lonely walk home is spent in loud, berating contemplation. His internal dialogue, which sounds suspiciously like the voices of his parents and teachers, presents irrefutable evidence of his cowardice and utter incompetence. Soul has no choice but to agree that he is a disappointing waste of space, like he always does.

But something must be changing in Soul, because when he gets back to his apartment building and looks up to see the flashing light of the TV spilling outside of the living room window, he suddenly knows what he has to do.

Soul knows in about thirty seconds, he's going to regret what he's about to do. No - regret is too soft a word for what his future self is going to feel towards the present him. Loathe? Abhor? Detest? Maka would be proud of him with the number of synonyms he can conjure for his future emotional state.

Well, future him could suck it. Bastard is always taking advantage of the suffering present Soul is going through. Case in point - this whole ridiculous running plan.

"Black*Star, I need your help."

"Anything for you best bro," he replies, not even bothering to glance up from the video game he's playing.

"I like Maka."

Black*Star rolls his eyes. "Tell the world something it didn't know."

Soul ignores him. "But I don't want to say anything because…"

"You're chickenshit."

"Basically," Soul says, not even bothering to deny it this time. "I need you to keep me honest."

"Oh?" Black*Star pauses his game and turns around, finally invested in the conversation.

"When I can complete a full circuit around the park without stopping or dying, I'm going to ask her out." Soul had picked the goal very carefully - it was equally likely that he would give up completely, in which case he didn't have to suffer the embarrassment of her saying no to him, or that he would actually complete it, in which case he could play asking her if she'd go out with him as a celebration of his achievement.

Black*Star squints at him. "Still don't get why you can't do it now, but you do you bro. What do I get out of this?"

Here came the hard part. Soul takes a deep breath. "If I don't ask her out, you can pick my punishment."

"Really?" It's like Soul told Black*Star that Christmas was coming early this year, and the sudden gleam in his eyes has shivers running down his spine. "You're letting me decide."

"Yes."

"You remember what happened last time I passed judgement onto you."

"Yes," Soul grinds out, "how could I forget." He still wasn't welcome back at his favorite Italian restaurant.

Black*Star's ever widening grin is distinctly unreassuring. "Oh man. I can't decide now if I want you to succeed or not."

Soul scowls, and Black*Star cackles, throwing an arm around him. "I'm just joking, of course I'm pro-Soulie boy getting with his lady. Still though…"

"Well I'm going to do it, so don't think too hard," Soul snaps. Black*Star just raises an eyebrow at him, which makes Soul insist, "I am, I can already run for fifteen minutes without dying." Maybe just five minutes at a time, but whatever, technicalities.

"And I am proud of you for that, broseph. You and Maka are gonna be the sappiest, mushiest, cutest couple - after Tsubaki and me of course." He smacks Soul's back a couple of times, making him stumble and wince. "Don't worry bro. I got your back."

That's what Soul's afraid of, and exactly what he's banking on to get him to go through with something for once in his life.

"Yeah what can I get you?" Soul asks, squinting down at the filter he's cleaning.

"Hi Soul!"

His head whips up. Maka stands in front of him, dressed in a black trench coat that hides her workout clothes. Her elbows rest against the counter, gloved hands cradling her face as she gives him a smile that makes his face hot and his hands shaky.

"M-Maka!" He almost drops the filter, and tries to pass it off as him smoothly putting it down on the counter. "H-how did you know I worked here?"

Maka blinks. "Black*Star told me."

Like so many other moments over the past month, Soul wavers between wanting to strangle and wanting to high five his best friend.

"Oh!" Maka says, peering behind his shoulder. "You've got a great view of the park from here." She smiles at him, and he feels his heart thump painfully in his chest. "You must see Tsubaki and I run by pretty often huh?"

"No," he blurts out. "No, I uh, am usually too busy working to look outside." Fuck, why did he say that? It wouldn't have been that weird to just say he sees them, but would she have thought it was creepy? It was kind of creepy, honestly…

Maka hums noncommittally. "I see."

"Uh, did you want to order something?"

She orders a mocha. When Maka goes to pay, he shakes his head, pushing away her credit card. "On the house," he insists, ignoring her protests.

He takes his time to make the best damn mocha the shop's ever seen, and finishes it off by creating a little flower of steamed milk in the drink. He presents it to her with a flourish, and basks in her praise.

Unfortunately, she came at one of the busier times at the café and can't linger at the counter. She moves to one of the tables nearest to him and pulls out a book, and he sneaks glances at her while his hands are on autopilot making drinks for the customers.

That is, until -

"What's up Soul," Black*Star greets him. "The girls run by yet?" He fiddles with his phone, completely oblivious to the frantic aborting motions that Soul is making.

Maka looks up at the sound of Black*Star's voice, and Soul drops his arms, giving her a weak smile. "I wouldn't know Black*Star," he squeaks.

Black*Star snorts. "Yeah right, you stare out that window watching for Maka so much that someone could hold up the store and you wouldn't even notice."

"ANYWAY, what can I get you," Soul rushes to say, as Maka cocks her head curiously. "I'll pay," he says desperately, feeling a deep flush work its way down his neck.

Black*Star immediately brightens. "Awesome! Well in that case…"

After Black*Star leaves with his six dollar caffè macchiato, Maka sidles up to him. "You're awfully generous to your friends Soul," she says, corner of her mouth twitching.

"Not really," he mutters, busying himself with wiping down the counter. "Just…just special ones."

"And Black*Star is one of them?"

"No," he spits out, "he's just really good at being annoying."

A pause, and then, "And me?"

Soul's heart hammers in his chest so loudly that he doesn't even hear himself when he mumbles, very quietly, "Special case." It only beats harder at the slow smile that spreads across her face.

The next day, Maka waves at him through the window as she runs past the store. Soul's hands dance between his face and his pockets before they compromise, one of them giving her a shy wave, the other one coming up to rub away a goofy grin.

Fall is winding down, and Soul can feel himself getting stronger, gaining stamina with every workout. He can't believe it's already been a month and a half since Black*Star dragged him into this fiasco. A month and a half of way too much sweat and exercise.

A month and a half since he was properly introduced to Maka - Maka, who he now knows uses books as both entertainment and as weapons - Maka, who hates raw fish and loves white chocolate - Maka, who texts him every night with a different grumpy cat gif, claiming they look exactly like him, who somehow always has some place new for them to explore, something new for them to look at. She's so much more than the attractive jogger he would stare at through the window, dreaming up scenarios where she would suddenly notice him and ask him out. So different from what he imagined her to be like - quieter and nerdier and more uncertain, but just as bold and strong and kind. Whatever happens - if he finishes, if he confesses - it doesn't matter as much as the fact that she's part of his life in some way.

His phone vibrates and dings as the automated voice announces that his workout is complete. He stops, breathing hard, and sits down on a bench, throwing his arms around the back and looking up to the deepening sky.

A crush. A workout. And at the beginning of all of it, a friend.

"Hey Black*Star."

"Hmm?" Black*Star pauses his one handed pull ups to look at Soul.

"I uh." Soul clears his throat awkwardly. "Wanted to uh, say…thanks for helping me out with Maka. I wouldn't, you know, have met her or anything if you hadn't…"

Black*Star flicks away his words. "Say no more dude. You know I've always got your back."

"Yeah," Soul confirms, "yeah I know. Still." He brings out an envelope from behind his back and offers it to Black*Star, who lets go of the bar to take it.

Black*Star pulls out two pieces of paper from the envelope. "What's this?"

"Uh, tickets. To the symphony. The one that you had wanted to take Tsubaki to for your one month anniversary and waited in line for tickets for five hours before being told they had just sold out?"

"No shit!" Black*Star's mouth drops open as he stares at the tickets. His eyes dart up to Soul and he squints, suspicious. "Wait, how did you get them?"

"Well I…kinda pulled a couple of strings…?"

"You…" Realization dawns in his eyes, and Soul shuffles his feet uncomfortably.

"Yeah," Soul confirms. "Yeah I uh, talked to Wes -”

"Wes, like, your brother Wes?"

"What other Wes would there be Black*Star."

"Wes, like, your perfect brother that you haven't talked to in a decade?"

"It's only been three years," Soul mutters. His ears still hurt from Wes' squealing when he answered the phone.

"What did he say when you called?"

Soul shrugs. "Not much," he lies, choosing not to tell him about how Wes alternated between crying and yelling and lecturing all while prying out every detail of his little brother's mundane life for two hours.

Black*Star hesitates. "And…your parents? Now that Wes knows where you are, are they gonna…?"

Soul blows out a sigh. "…They were gonna find out eventually." He stares at his hands - his precise, long fingers. Perfect for playing piano, his parents told him, over and over until he felt like that's all like they were good for, all he was good for. "…They can't really do much to me now anyway. And…it's like you said. I can't keep hiding forever."

Black*Star stares at the tickets in his hand before putting them back into the envelope as carefully as Soul's ever seen him handle something.

The scent of Axe body spray washes over Soul as Black*Star engulfs him in a hug, one that's made all the more awkward by the height difference between them. "You're the best bro a bro could have Soul," Black*Star sniffs.

"Yeah," Soul says, smiling as he pats his best friend's back. "You too Black*Star. You too."

"One minute left," the tinny voice encourages him. He clings to that as he rounds the bend. Just one minute. Before the end of this song is done it'll be over. Just keep going. Don't stop. Don't stop -

Ding! "Your workout is complete."

Soul slows to a stop, mind replaying the words.

"I did it," he says, disbelieving.

"I did it," he says again, and feels like shouting it, maybe even channeling Black*Star and adding a "yahoo!" at the end.

Black*Star and Tsubaki wave wildly from a bench halfway across the park as he looks over to them. Black*Star stands up on the bench, cups his hands around his mouth and bellows, "I TOLD YOU!"

Soul grins, shaking his head. Black*Star stabs a finger in the direction that Soul just came from. Soul turns around and -

There she is. She hasn't noticed him yet, looking at her phone, and Soul had specifically gotten here before her workout time so that he could bail out if he needed to but -

Maybe this is what they call runner's high, or maybe it's just Soul actually achieving something he never thought he'd even try doing for once, but he doesn't even need Black*Star's nod or shooing motion to send him off - he's already running towards Maka, calling her name.

She stops and waits for him, smiling. He pushes his muscles to run faster, and a tiny part of him marvels when his body obeys without complaint as he flies towards her.

He skids to a stop in front of her, only panting a little bit. The sun is filtering through the leaves and casting dappled shadows on her face, glinting gold off of her hair, and her eyes are bright and fond as she looks at him expectantly, and in that moment he wants to tell her - wants to tell her that he started this for her but finished it for him, wants to thank her for encouraging and supporting him and never making fun. He wants to tell her that he loves their early morning walks and late night texts, that he thinks she's amazing and smart and strong, that he probably never would have finished if she didn't make it more fun than torture, that he wants - that he loves -

"I like you please go out with me." Soul says in a rush.

Maka's face changes from fondness to confusion. "Sorry?"

"You heard me," he mumbles, resisting the urge to use his new stamina to run the fuck away.

"I…no? Sorry, you said it so fast, could you say it again?"

"Uh." Where was Black*Star and his menacing "you won't believe the things I have in store for you" grin when he needed it? Maka's looking at him curiously and god dammit past Soul was the absolute worst -

But he wasn't about to give up now. Soul takes a deep breath, squares his shoulders, tries to look Maka in the eye but ends up sticking his gaze somewhere in the vicinity of her shoulder instead. "I like you," he says again. "And I've really enjoyed getting to know you. And I would like to take you out to dinner." Did he just say that? He just said that. "As a date," he clarifies. He's on a roll. "Though uh, you don't have to if you don't want to." Wait, wasn't he on a roll? "We could uh, just celebrate me actually being able to keep up with you." Apparently it was more of a slow tumble. "Or uh, not." Off of a cliff. "You know what, just ignore me -”

"I would love to go out on a date with you."

Soul looks up from his shoes. "R-really?" he stammers.

She nods, smiling. He takes a hesitant step forward, and she meets him halfway, drawing closer until their running shoes are almost touching. "I was actually thinking of asking you out tomorrow," she says, peering up at him shyly through her bangs. "But you beat me to it."

"I…I did?"

She's close enough now to bump him gently with her shoulder, sending a tingling buzz through his body. "I like you, dummy," she says, and that combined with the way she's grinning at him, looking a little shy and embarrassed herself, makes him feel like he's as light as air.

"So where do you want to go for dinner?" she asks, entwining her fingers in his.

"Well uh, I was thinking maybe that Lebanese place we found last week, you know, by the shoemaker?"

Her eyes light up, and then take on a mischievous look. "Race you there."

He smirks back, heart racing forward for once instead of shrinking back. "You're on."

She takes off, and he follows, knowing she'll outstrip him in a heartbeat, but that she'll be waiting patiently for him to catch up at the end. He lets her peel ahead and focuses instead on making the world turn beneath his feet, setting his own pace.

He'll get there eventually.

Thank you for reading! Comments and criticisms much appreciated!

#soul eater #my writing #my fanfiction #fanfiction #soma #soul evans #maka albarn #black*star #tsubaki #coffee shop au #jogger au

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torreygazette · 4 years

Text

My Lament

It’s been a year and two weeks. Fifty-four weeks ago I said goodbye to my church home of twenty years. After the service, we came back home with those friends who understood the depth of pain, relief, and joy that leaving this church was to us. We fellowshipped, lamented, and celebrated. Looking back, that day is a swirl of surreal. It’s also the last day I felt I had community.

We quickly settled into another church of like faith and practice. We chose it because our two teenage boys, who had suffered incalculable pain and loss over the last two years, needed friends. This church had a few boys their age whom they knew through our annual church camp in the Black Hills. It felt like the right choice. Week after week we have gone—morning, evening, and Sunday School. We began to invite people over. When the piano player left, I volunteered to play every other week. I attended a women’s Bible study. We offered our home to begin a youth group. And then COVID-19 happened.

The resulting “couch church” allowed us more flexibility and we began to listen to sermons by one of my favorite pastors (Dale VanDyke at Harvest OPC in Grand Rapids, MI). We continued to listen to our church’s morning service but chose VanDyke’s sermons on Job for our evening “church.” These sermons were like the balm of Gilead to my cracked, fractured, and taped-together soul. But it wasn’t just me; the kids listened raptly, the sermons spoke directly to my husband’s deep wound, and we drank it in.

Then George Floyd was murdered. The country screamed at each other like rabid, frothy-mouthed dogs from their two poles. I broke with grief. These systemic and racial issues are not a new awareness for me (my brother and my daughter are both African American). I have long lamented how most of America sees them and I have seen these very real slights first-hand over and over again. But now—the country “awakening” to what has always been true—brought a mixture of joy (finally!), frustration (where have you all been?), and anger.

My anger, prompted by what I saw on social media from fellow church members and friends in our small OPC and PCA circles, undid me a little bit more. They claimed to care about racism yet denied the truth of history and its effects on the present and—even more acutely painful—they denied the countless stories of their black brothers and sisters. Still nursing my own deep wounds of betrayal and hidden trauma, I felt the rejection and dismissal afresh as my fellow Presbyterians explained away their complaints. I began to feel a queasiness settle in my gut and I fought the urge to flee. These people are not safe.

Eventually, I decided I needed to quit social media. My anger was troubling my conscience. I needed more patience and forbearance with my fellow Christians, as Christ had infinite patience with me and my own blind spots. I had all but made up my mind when I got a voicemail from an old friend from my time at a children’s charter school (this school is 30% white, the rest mostly African American with a large immigrant population from Africa). I was on the board there and worked hard to recruit Black voices for the board as well as other committee work in order to best represent our students and take advantage of such beautiful diversity. I started a monthly culture club where we celebrated different countries and learned about their customs, food, and dress. Sadly, I had to leave the school two years ago when we were forced to begin home-schooling our girls, a situation directly related to our leaving our church home.

And so the voicemail. I haven’t heard from this friend since we left the school. She was a strong Black voice in the community and had joined the board, doing much to help the other (white) board members understand the unique needs and gifts of her particular community. She was compassionate, loving, and didn’t mind educating others. In her message, she thanked me for my voice on Facebook and for communicating love to her and those who looked like her without further polarizing the divide. She said that my posts gave her and her husband “hope,” and they wanted to let me know how much it meant to them. I cried. My feelings of frustration and even guilt over my frustration faded and they were washed away with a needed reminder that these things matter.

It was the next week that Aimee Byrd was kicked off one of my favorite podcasts. Having read three of her books and listened to Mortification of Spin for years, I had been watching from a distance as the patriarchy club of the OPC (and PCA) became more and more agitated by her. I admired Aimee and her cool and leveled reasoning, her clear Biblical exegesis, her refusing to stoop to low blows, and her continued presence and speaking the truth in love. Though not a fan of Twitter (fewer pictures of cute kids and kittens, I guess), I started reading, mouth agape, the things people were saying about her. So many false things. My gut churned and stirred again.

The Earthly Body of Christ

After all of this, I was left with questions. What is going on? Has it always been this way? Is the OPC changing or am I just waking up? It has been a while since I aligned with one political group or the other. The evil that is abortion tends to push me into one camp by necessity, but with so many other issues growing in importance, I have been “at sea” politically for quite a while. But now, one’s political stance and all that encapsulated seemed to be creeping into the church. Identity politics and virtue-signaling impacted a new set of “issues,” but underneath it all, the same. The arrogance of those with power. Ignoring the voices of those who have been oppressed. Not believing those stories of abuse because the accused abusers are “people we know and we know what we know.” Such arrogance and blind eyes to fellow believers’ pain!

“Mourn with those who mourn.” Where are the fellow lamenters? Where is the outcry? Why do we need to temper our outrage over injustices in order that we don’t appear to be on that other side? Why are our pulpits filled more with beseeching God to “restore law and order in the land” than to “restore justice and equity”? Where is the cry of agony over how the church and its people have been complicit, albeit inadvertently, to the sufferings of others? Why is that not the first stop, the first response, the loudest wail? Why the rush to defend our own policies and innocence? It is not just good secular psychological practice to listen and hear the stories of those who have been traumatized as a first step toward healing—it is Christ’s example to us! He came to rescue the down-trodden and the broken-hearted, his mercy toward the weak and abused ended in his literal self-sacrifice—how much more ought we just listen and mourn.

Coincidentally (yes, I know, “providentially”), my husband was asked to preach at other churches in May and June. I decided to do a three-week road trip with the kids to visit friends and family in several states. Leaving home without him, I was trepidatious and not enthusiastic. Yet as the miles slipped by, I enjoyed the company of my children (especially my oldest boy who was my co-driver for the first time), listened to more excellent preaching, and attended three different churches. I began to acknowledge just how very adrift we were.

I was alone. My family and I are alone. We are aliens in this land and we are in pain. We have been betrayed by those close to us and it hurts very much. We have a story we cannot share. We know first-hand what it is to be forced into silence while those in power flourish. Our unwavering faith in a God (who loves us personally and has a plan of goodness I don’t need to understand for it to be true) has kept us steady. But here I was, unmoored from the “have-to’s” of daily life, enjoying those relationships that matter most in my life, not being daily bombarded with reminders of our recent past and the present political climate, and it left a small space for my own loss to begin to wash over me.

Jogging with my brother in the humid and sticky air of Wisconsin, he asked how we were holding up. I said, “We’re doing all right, but just under the surface I am sad. And I am sad all the time.” I didn’t realize this was true until I said it out loud to him. Typing this now makes me cry. It’s true: I am sad all the time.

I don’t know how to heal without community. I am reading Philip Ryken’s commentary on Jeremiah and Lamentations for my daily devotions (it is rich and wonderful). I am listening to the sermons that remind me of God’s character and his infinite love for me and my family. I am reciting my gratitude list and making “Christ is everything and I have Christ!” my daily mantra. But yet the wound has begun throbbing more acutely than it did a year ago and I am just so sad.

This is my lament. It ends not in despair but in clinging to the only thing that is not sad: Christ and his resurrection. But God calls us to more in this earthly life: eventually, I need to learn to love His people again. No, not love (for I do love them). But to trust them.

I realized last night that my problems with my current church begin and end with me. I have been there long enough that I can see people’s flaws—and their flaws scare me. I am a wounded animal, watching with hyper-vigilance from a corner of the room, unsure where my escape route is, not trusting anyone enough to receive their help. It is easier to find reasons to dislike and dismiss than it is to admit I simply don’t feel safe enough to stay.

But how long, O Lord? How long until I can stand in front of a congregation and profess my commitment to that local body of believers and begin serving and making myself vulnerable and working toward intimacy? How long until I am not afraid of each and every person and their capacity to rip the rug out from under me and my family? How long until I can feel safe?

Pray for me. Pray for us. Pray for all those who are lamenting in private because they do not feel safe enough to do so publicly in Christ’s church surrounded by reassuring arms, hands, and hearts of non-judgmental love and unconditional acceptance. Feeling stuck in the former, my heart longs for the latter.

I miss my church community.

#Community #Suffering #Lament

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