Day 4: Wander

“How did you get in here??”

“Oh, hi! Sorry, you were the nearest ship with an oven. Want some cake?”

Whoever designed the inside of the Millennium Falcon can go fuck themselves/hj

Also, this may seem like a weird prompt fill, but since it’s both Star Wars day and @cactusblossom09’s birthday, I decided to combine it all with today’s Dannymay prompt. I also hand drew it all because I was traveling most of the day.

I love it when I say "Harumi was never evil but her actions were" then get people accusing me of saying Harumi's actions are excusable because it reminds me of this twitter meme

"I don't think Harumi is evil but I'm also not gonna defend her actions because her actions are absolutely evil" "So you think Harumi's actions are excusable?" no i think she's a deeply traumatized person who lashed out violently because her adopted parents neglected her and she basically blamed lloyd for having ever been neglected in the first place which made her lash out violently even more

Peace and love on planet Earth but if I see one more post NOT about recovery and, in fact, encouraging eating disorders in the ed recovery tag, I might just turn into a chimpanzee and tear everyone's faces off.

I’m so sorry to be that person but I can’t choose a specific prompt for the otp protective list thingy 🫠

IF you want to I’m down for anything on that list for boxer au, you pick…apologies again 🥲🥲

No worries! Even just showing interest at all in more boxer au is helpful to me 💕

Have some concerned Marcia, as a treat

Also… me completing a piece of writing these days? Less likely than you’d think! But we did it lads <3

Pretending everything is fine so the other doesn't have to know what's going on. / “Please never do that again.”

(Also uhhh this one got long sorry)

Ao3 link

~~~~~~~~~~~

Either Marcia had gotten complacent, or Anetra was an incredibly skilled actress. Marcia wasn’t sure which. But when Anetra insisted she was fine after a particularly rough match, Marcia believed her. After all, Anetra had no reason to lie to her. She was a nurse, Anetra would tell her if she was hurt. Besides, Anetra had been fighting long enough that she could certainly tell when an injury was serious or not.

So Marcia didn’t push, didn’t force Anetra to let her double check. They were early in their relationship, and Marcia didn’t want to ruin things by being too much of a worrywart. So she left after the match, with a kiss goodbye, and a promise to see her for their dinner date. And as she left, she tried to convince herself that everything was fine.

And it was, at first. Anetra looked radiant as ever when Marcia arrived at the restaurant, blonde hair perfectly coiffed, tight pink dress like a second skin hugging her perfect figure. Nearly all traces of the fight had been wiped away, hidden under effortlessly blended makeup.

The only hint that she had been bloody and bruised just that morning was the slight limp in her walk, and the split second longer than usual that it took her to react.

“Hi, beautiful,” Marcia murmured, crossing the distance to wrap her arms around Anetra and pull her in for a gentle kiss. Anetra set her hands on Marcia’s waist, squeezing gently as she kissed her back.

“Missed you,” she breathed into the kiss. “You look ethereal. As always. Taking my breath away.”

Marcia pulled back finally, a shy smile on her face. No matter how many times Anetra complimented her, Marcia still couldn’t believe it was real. That Anetra was actually hers.

In hindsight, maybe she missed the signs because she didn’t want to admit anything was amiss. She just wanted a nice date night with her girlfriend, and maybe if she ignored what she knew in her gut, it would go away. That was the hope at least.

But life didn’t work that way, and denying the evidence in front of her face could only last so long. Especially when Anetra was acting so… off.

“Babe, you aren’t looking too hot, are you sure you’re really okay?” Marcia asked after the third time she’d had to drag Anetra back into their conversation. Anetra blinked a few times, shaking her head for a moment as if trying to force herself to focus on the conversation at hand.

“Damn. And here I thought you found me beautiful. Now I’m not even that hot?” She joked, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. Marcia’s own frown deepened.

“Neech, I’m serious. You’re really out of it and it’s starting to scare me,” Marcia tried, chewing on her lower lip as she watched her girlfriend who was currently refusing to look her in the eyes.

“I’m fine, Marcia. Don’t be overdramatic. I had a big fight this morning. I’m just tired,” Anetra deflected, picking at her chipped nail polish and staring resolutely down at her food. Marcia deflated a bit.

“I’m not trying to—“ Marcia sighed, rubbing her temples. “I’m not trying to be a drama queen, I’m just worried, okay? Can we just like… go back to my place? Relax on the couch and go to bed early? If you’re really just tired then I’ll drop it and things will be all good in the morning.” Marcia put on her best puppy dog eyes, looking across the table at Anetra until her girlfriend looked back.

Anetra deflated slightly. “Yeah, okay. That sounds nice,” she admitted begrudgingly, waving over the waiter to get the check.

Marcia was still antsy, but was trying to rein in her concerns. Surely Anetra really was just tired, and a good night's sleep would fix everything. She kept telling herself that, until Anetra went to stand up.

Marcia felt frozen as she watched Anetra stumble, grabbing onto the edge of the table with white knuckles and clenching her eyes shut, head dropping. After a second she sprung into action, running over to the other side of the table to wrap an arm around Anetra, to make sure she was steady on her feet.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m fine. I'm okay. Just got… dizzy,” Anetra’s voice was distant, her breathing shaky, and Marcia’s heart broke for a moment.

“I’ve got you. Just breathe. Let’s go outside. Get some fresh air.” Marcia kept her arm right around her girlfriend, letting her lean against her side for support as she got them outside, helping Anetra down onto the nearest bench. She sat down beside her, thoughts racing as she watched the color return to Anetra’s face.

“Marsh, I—“ Anetra began after a moment but Marcia cut her off, trying to keep her voice from trembling.

“How long have you been feeling off? Don’t lie to me, please. I need to… I need to know if this has to do with the fight. Please, let me help you. I just want you to be okay,” Marcia rushed to get her words out, eyes wide and pleading.

Anetra was silent for a moment, chewing on her lower lip and fidgeting nervously with the rings she was wearing. “I… I thought it was just a headache from the impact, I swear. If I thought it was anything serious I would have told you,” She spoke quietly, finally glancing up from her lap to meet Marcia’s eyes. “I know you get frightened during these fights and I just. It would have scared you even more if I told you something was wrong. I just didn’t want you to have to worry about me.”

The revelation that Anetra had been hiding things from her did nothing to soothe Marcia’s frayed nerves. For all she knew, this wasn’t the first time Anetra had been hurt and thought it wasn’t important for Marcia to know. “I’m a nurse, Anetra. You need to tell me these things. Of course I worry, you’re my girlfriend, and I care about you. A lot. But I’m gonna worry a hell of a lot more when you nearly pass out in a restaurant than if you just tell me when something isn’t right. Or better yet just… let me check to make sure nothing major is wrong after fights. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? Better I find it early than… whatever could have happened tonight.” She paused to take a few calming breaths, trying to keep a cool demeanor, despite how anxious she was. “You can’t keep this stuff from me, not if you want me to come to your matches. Not if you want to be able to keep fighting in the long run. This isn’t fun and games, Neech. It’s life and death, and I don’t think me being worried is an overreaction. This is my job, I know how risky what you’re doing is, and I just want to help. But you can’t keep this kind of thing a secret from me. Please never do that again. My heart can’t take it.”

The guilt was plain as day on Anetra’s face and Marcia wondered for a moment if she had pushed too hard, if she was being too harsh. But Anetra reached to take Marcia’s hands in her own, and Marcia melted slightly into the touch, having to blink a few times to keep her tears from spilling.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was… I didn’t realize. I never meant to frighten you,” Anetra murmured, running her thumb across the back of Marcia’s hand delicately. Marcia melted more at the gentleness, shifting to rest her head on Anetra’s shoulder.

“My heart can’t take it,” Marcia repeated quietly, closing her eyes and focusing on the feeling of Anetra, sturdy against her side.

“I know. I’m really sorry. If I’d known I was making you worry this much I never would have kept it from you…” Anetra’s breath was warm on her hair as she felt her place a soft kiss to the top of her head.

Marcia turned her face to bury it in the crook of Anetra’s neck. “You owe me big time, you know. For lying to me. You’d better be prepared to grovel.” Anetra laughed softly against her hair and Marcia smiled to herself, warmth running down her spine. Everything was going to be okay, she could tell.

“Of course, darling. Whatever you say.”

I am terrible at life choices.

it is weird being an aromantic asexual who is incidentally attractive. like. i just came back from a concert with my friends who have known me for years and know that about me. some of the very few real-life friends who know that about me actually and i only told them relatively recently. regardless. the only reason i had bothered to bring it up w them is that they had seen me in SO many situations that telling them “i’m asexual” was if anything just clarification. just confirmation, like, don’t worry. it’s not an inability to attach to others or whatever. if you can’t tell. like they’d seen me be pursued by quite a few people in our time as friends and at some point it seems like a curious thing if i only ever seem to feel negatively about anyone who’s attracted to me, ever, no matter who it is. and they were understanding and i knew they’d be. yeah.

we were talking on the way back about bucket list concerts we’d still like to see. we saw stromae which was a really big one of mine (my fucking boy btw, i had an amazing time). i mentioned that i don’t have very many, as i’m rarely the person to be like “yeah, let’s go to a concert” unless i have people i know i wanna go with. like i’ve been meaning to see the jonas brothers w my sister and sisters-in-law ever since they came back because it’d be a fun thing for us since we always listen to them together. 

but i would genuinely love to see super junior someday, like just for myself, wherever whenever if i was just able to get transportation (i don’t drive). i’ve loved suju for years but i got really back into them in 2020 in the pandemic as a sort of nostalgia comfort thing (but also the music they’ve put out in recent years is like, literally the best in their discography, they just keep getting better w age). and i had to go on this tangent to explain it, right?

in the first months of the pandemic, there was something weird happening to people psychologically. some kind of end-of-the-world loneliness. i mentioned that i had like 5 or 6 different people in my DMs at the time interested in me. not all of them men. and the friend who was driving said “you know, diana, if this were literally anyone else talking, i would think that this is some enormous humblebrag—”

and i like. didn’t even think about it that way. i was just trying to make my point that i had a serious thought in 2020 of like, when the world opened back up, just doing one (1) seriously manipulative thing in my life and convince one of those men who was thirsting for me to buy me tickets to super junior and go with me. it was hypothetical. this hasn’t happened and all but certainly will not. i would not feel good taking advantage of someone’s feelings like that. 

but i had to go on a tangent even before that because i was like. oh my goodness. i didn’t even realize that was a humblebrag. i’m sorry. i’m just telling a story.

if i met you in real life i hope it's at a cosplay convention so i can cosplay your mertaro au

I absolutely don’t remember getting this ask but I saw it again just now and want to burst into tears

You’d want to what?

Me? Mine? R-Really?

I-I- I don’t know why you would want to but thank you so much 😭

Having a rough day so this is really sweet to read 👉👈🥺

❤️💖❤️

i am so sorry to all the girls in disney shows that got mocked for crying over a broken nail i understand you now

3x05, Heroes and Masterminds / TDP shorts, Inheritance 

katie and the other girl teacher at the school keep trying to convince me to get into the habit of spending 100,000 won every month and a half on getting my nails done and like. i simply dont want to do that.

best alice oseman book ever?

imo its definitely I Was Born For This - i love the characters and their dynamic, plus it reads like a really good band au fic and i’m a sucker for those

share one line from your wip that you think highlights the vibe of this fic (but no cheating, don’t explain the actual vibe. it’s gotta be explained through your one line !!!)

This was shockingly challenging to do when I only have the intro written but please enjoy <3

~~~

“I don’t think you’re a good judge of what’s smart and what isn’t, considering the ass-backwards ideas you keep proposing. Now if you’ll shut up and let me explain—“ Luxx paused to make sure Anetra wasn’t going to interrupt before continuing on. “I messaged Marcia.”

...

I have a really, really, really fucking dumb goal for 2023, one I will not be dissuaded from…

I will edit James Cameron’s Avatar (2009) to be less than 2 and a half hours long.

If I have time, I will also edit the three Hobbit movies starring Martin Freeman into one movie.

Please tell me about your shoujo journey. Do you think Skip Beat will outlast ILY? 😂 The pacing is on a whole other level of slow, I gave up on it, two decades running and Kyoko's only aged a year damn! I understand the frustration with the flashback, it is quite sluggish, but we're seeing the true impact Alyssa had on Shinae's trust, how it affects her relationship with Nol now, and what it means for them in the future. Plus we're getting some vital Alyssa content. I feel like she's become even more ambiguous to me. I have no idea where her head is at. I miss reading your analysis. I'd love discuss to her with you after the arc ends and we get our long awaited Shinae x Nol moment. It's been so loooong since we've seen them.

OOOOOHHHHHHH MY GOD ANON LMAO that question just made me pause HARD lmaooooooo. Listen. For alllllll the shit people say about ILY, I just feel it in my BONES that Skip Beat will outlast EVERYTHING lmaoooooooooooo GOD. Like, I'm sorry but ANY TIME people talk about slow pacing I'm just like.... I'll read this whole 30, 50? page chapter and WHAT HAPPENS? HOW MUCH TIME PASSES? NONE! lmao I like to do an annual "catch up" on Skip Beat now and then (when I remember lol). Like I LOVE that the mangka made it about more than just Kyoko's love life but also MAN each acting project is literally years long for us as readers!!!!!!!! lmao thanks to Skip Beat I have the patience to weather ANYYYYTHIIIIIIING hahahahahaha. Taking three months to get through a flashback arc? I can handle it! ILY could take 10 years to reach completion and I'd be, frankly, okay, because at least it could wrap up faster than Skip Beat ever could LMAO (and honestly like... 10 years of solid story telling is pretty ace in my book but that's a whole other thing lmao)

As for my shoujo journey, I'll be honest, it's not SUPER long! I didn't start reading manga until I was graduating high school, so by the time I started to dig into things, after some time I found myself growing out of it? Or, rather no it was more like... there's just a lot of tropes that were present in shoujo I was finding I wasn't into? (Like, oh my god so many triangles where I'd be like MEH I actually prefer the second lead. I learned very fast that a lot of your typical "first leads", at least back in the day, were NOT my style.) I still have a soft spot for a lot of stories that I loved, though! I haven't read Lovely Complex since god probably 2014, 2015? But I STILL loved it back then and I'm really eager for a re-read. I uh.... I really went through a Hirunaka no Ryuusei phase? Like.... lmaoooo it was a Big Thing for me hahhaha (I own the series in Korean, actually!!!!) My first two manga, though, were Skip Beat and Hana Kimi; my friend bought me the first Skip Beat volume at our school book fair and another friend bought the first few volumes of Hana Kimi and shared them with me! Hana Kimi is one of those that like.... you know it doesn't hold up over time, it leans heavily on tropes that are considered ethically nonos these days, but it stays special to me because in spite of all of that, idk I just! Enjoyed it! And now that I'm older I am okay saying "I LIKE THIS THING THAT IS FLAWED AND IMPERFECT AND I DO NOT NEED TO DEFEND IT" lol you know? There was the obligatory Vampire Knight phase that I finally fell out of but OOOF that was A Thing. (I was SO obsessed with it at first lol and I LOVED the art sooooo much that I read another series by the mangaka, MeruPuri which, frankly, was REALLY weird so nothing about Vampire Knight actually surprised me ngl LMAOOOOOO) You know I remember once starting Special A but I do not think I ever finished that! I put myself all the way through Ao Haru Ride even though I kept telling myself I needed to drop it and pretend it didn't exist. God what a trainwreck that one was lol like.... idk I'm not saying this as a dig to people who did enjoy it! There were just times I wanted to enter that story and punch people lmaoooo but I wonder what I would think if I went back and read it again now in the vein of like.... sometimes people are selfish and make bad choices because they are human? lol I also REALLY loved Orange but I'm going to admit I haaaaaaaaaaaaaated the ending and to this daaaaaay I haaaaaaaaaaaated it so much but that's a whole other post lol. LOVED the story, LOVED the art, was super into the theme, but just hated the execution of the ending SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH ;A;

lol I said it's not super long but look at me, rambling on and on!

I know no one is surprised that I wound up talking A LOT and just.... following, there's so much ILY rambling going on about why I appreciate and enjoy this flashback arc, and how I think it boosts the rest of the story so far lol so here's a read more, haaaha.......

I definitely feel you on how Alyssa feels even more ambiguous lol which is so funny. I love the insight and having a better idea of who she is as a person, even if we still don't fully know all of her motives. Just seeing her as a complex character like everyone else has been great. We all know I'm a sucker for parallels lol and seeing how everyone has their own traumas, that everyone has a root for who they are, is the stuff that keeps me hooked on ILY. Alyssa was very easily written off by people and I don't defend her or anything - I really hope we get to see her take responsibility for her actions and ownership for the hurt she has caused, whether on purpose or not - but also, it always felt like she was suuuuuuuper reduced down by fandom on a whole. I think a very human thing quimchee is good at capturing is that we don't always mean to hurt the people we do, but it still happens, and that sometimes good intentions can make things worse in the longrun - and this can go for Alyssa towards Nol or Shinae, frankly.

Honestly, too, something I love about her is like... like you know how if you read a novel, the protagonist is supposed* to be the character who makes the right choices and does good things? And when people are presented an "unlikable protagonist" it's usually a character who is acting on their emotions and responding to their experiences - it's a character making the choices that we ourselves might make. (* I'm saying "supposed" here because a protagonist DOESN'T have to make the right choices, but it turns out people really hate media where female characters make selfish choices lmaoooo) I guess that's what I like seeing about Alyssa in this flashback. I've seen a lot of people say that Alyssa is weak for caving to peer pressure or something but like... was that not the middle school experience? I don't know a lot of people who were super self-assured and full of confidence in middle school - but especially someone in Alyssa's position who has never really interacted with kids her own age and is so afraid of ostracization. Like a lot of the woven storylines of ILY, something I love is that we are shaped by our experiences, right? Most people never faulted Shinae for shutting down and putting up strong defenses when we first met her in the story, because we know she'd been screwed over by life and people and as people who have been there before, we understand self-preservation tactics. She even basically admits it herself that she WANTED to open up to people. Shinae wasn't guarded because she hated people, she lied to herself because of how much she'd been hurt and she was afraid to take that chance again and try it. Shinae is afraid to be burned, Alyssa is afraid for people to ever have a chance to burn her. It's so inherently HUMAN to be afraid of being alienated, to want to BELONG, to want to feel like you fit in. She faces a daily crisis in how she is desperate to belong with people who might not accept her if they knew what she was truly like.

And idk, I cannot fault her for that completely, because it took me until my early-to-mid-20s to learn to be okay on my own and that it was better to be myself than try to fit in where I wasn't wanted. I put up with shitty friendships for a long time because I had myself convinced that it was all worth it. So a middle schooler struggling with this is SO VERY real, and it's wild to me to see people fault her for this. Alyssa has done some things worth being mad about, but seeing her written off for being a human middle schooler is WILD to me.

That's a whole other tangent LOL but it's something I haven't really gotten around to ever talking about. Like, whatever, I cannot - and I won't even try lol to - convince people to like Alyssa, but frankly, I think all of the characters of ILY are SO dimensional and fascinating, how can I not enjoy exploring parts of their story? I think sometimes people think that if I say "I enjoy a character" it means I endorse everything they do. I DO like Kousuke and Alyssa. Would I want to be their friends? Good grief, no. But I'm here as an observer of a story and I think it's fascinating to see how their experiences bring about the circumstances of this story. That moment of dramatic irony when Alyssa promises that she won't stop being Shinae's friend, but we know how it all ends, we all know that's a promise she does not keep, and we know how those events affect Shinae and much of the story that unfolds!

how it affects her relationship with Nol now

I feel like this is something that doesn't come up a lot? Or maybe I just missed any period of fandom when they might have discussed it? Like.... if Shinae hadn't been burned like this by Alyssa, she wouldn't carry the paranoia she does - not about Maya and Rika and certainly not about Minhyuk. Even to this day, we saw that Shinae worries that even the people she trusts are humoring her - because she's been there, she trusted someone who hurt her. The entire trajectory of her relationship with Nol would be completely different! A really beautiful aspect of Nol and Shiane's friendship to me is not just that he managed to make Shinae open up - it's that now that we know how Shinae lied to herself, how she was hurt in the past, how trusting people burned her so badly - but the fact that despite everything she'd been through, she WANTED him to be someone she could trust, she WANTED him to be worth letting down her guard.

Like, again!!!!! Everything that happens in this story only does so because of circumstances and events that precede it. Shinae going to Nol's school was not just because she wanted to check on and see her friend - she was desperate to prove herself wrong, desperate for Nol to prove that he was worth the chances she took, that trusting him was not another mistake she knew better than to make.

I think a flashback arc shows us more than just insight into her relationship with Alyssa, which we've established was something very important, something special that was destroyed. It's the juxtaposition of pre-accident Shinae, who was willing to open herself up, who was plucky and bullheaded and just wanted to be appreciated it. Contrast that with the Shinae we meet early in the story, who has herself convinced it's okay to be alone, when now we know she was yearning to be appreciated, maybe yearning for someone to fight for her the way she fought for Alyssa but believed that something like that wasn't possible. I think we also see the flashback because while we've seen some of the ugly moments of Shinae's life, we never really saw how we went from this point to that point, you know? How there are small pockets of things in her life that make her want to keep believing in what she knows better than to believe - in teachers who listen to her when she tells the truth, in friends who stand up for her and defend in - even as her life starts to crumble. She can't escape her past, she's literally being haunted by it, even as she tried to put it all behind her. Her father is falling more and more into alcoholism due to stress from school plus his job, and soon he's going to be saddled with medical bills and having to take care of Shinae, which is probably what derailed school completely. THESE are the experiences that made the Shinae we know - a Shinae who is TERRIFIED of being hurt but also LONGS to be proven wrong, a Shinae who wants to share an experience she thought maybe she doesn't deserve, a Shinae who quietly believed maybe the universe just wanted to punish her for existing but still tries so hard to defy it.

Idk like yes we get that sense of Shinae without the backstory, but I think it really emphasizes this so much more? And I think it's also some kind of proof, maybe, that Alyssa IS more important than people have given her credit for, not just in the past but also in the future of the story. She doesn't exist just to move plot and drive wedges between relationships or something lol she, too, a complex character with complex experiences and god isn't that the sum of so many moments of people headbutting? That we are complex and sometimes struggle to see beyond our own issues, because what we deal with blinds us? Alyssa is blinded by her desire to escape her family and experience something NORMAL and be liked. Maybe she DOES want attention! Kousuke is blinded by a sense of destiny instilled in him since he was young, blinded by paranoia that fed off of this "destiny", blinded by his inability to accept his father's human nature, blinded by his fear that the only thing that makes him matter to his father is threatened. We met Nol thinking he was a character who looked out for others but even he's been blinded by his misery and by the feelings of worthlessness that has been punched down into him.

We butt heads with people because sometimes we are so caught up in our own struggles that it's hard to understand that others struggle, too, and I think that's where some of the best conflict comes. Like yeah there's good conflict in "Shinae has been roped into attending this horrible formal" but there's something poignant and painful in "Shinae unintentionally repeated the Alyssa cycle when she let Nol in" and even BETTER we get to see how she's grown from it!

This is, as always, lmao a very rambling tangential departure from the main point lol but!!!!! I have had a lot of feelings here and I know part of peoples' irritation is they want to get back to Nol and Shinae right now, but I think seeing Shinae's past helps create even MORE appreciation for what Nol means to her - that he is someone who hurt her but she is still willing to give another chance - and moreover, that we can see that though Shinae came from a loving home, she, too, has suffered her own abuse, was battered and beaten down by people, and unlike Nol, she was able to conclude it doesn't make her bad. Idk it's so beautiful to me and I get really overwhelmed lol it makes me appreciate their friendship SO MUCH more, for what they mean to each other and what they can be, you know? Seeing Shinae's resilience, through the new girl at middle school hoping to start all over to failing at that to putting up that guarded wall to finally taking a chance, finally giving in and accepting that yes, she still has hope, there's still faith, and Nol was that spark. UGH!

ANYWAY lol I do think we are probably nearing the end of this flashback arc. I don't know how many episodes I think remain - I generously said less than 10 a week or two ago lol but I think that was very generous. The timeline (and Alyssa's behavior) feels like we are approaching the point of Alyssa pushing Shinae and YES i will be so happy to go over the whole arc with you!!! I've been wanting to make a post that I keep holding off on, because I don't know if it would be better to do it now or wait for the whole arc to end, but I think there's a good conversation to be had about how a lot of Alyssa's behavior is directly tied to her homelife - how it's implied her father is someone who, at the very least, shouts a lot - and how that ties into her deflective, people-pleasing nature. Again, Alyssa is not really a spineless, MEAN-spirited person. She, like everyone else, is just the sum of her experiences, and I don't think she's learned to deal with them in a healthy way. (And frankly speaking, what about her relationship with Nol IS healthy anyway?)

I know this is so much more than you bargained for lol but you KNOOOOWWWW I love these asks and it HAS been so long since I got to just.... ENTHUSE about this - not just try to analyze or talk about what an episode has revealed but just GUSH about it lol so I could not help myself! But yes, once this arc ends, I will be READY to dissect and discuss EVERYTHING. I feel so emotionally invested, knowing that Shinae is about to experience the worst burn of her life, while she's still so trusting and earnest and aaaahhhhhhhh it's going to HURT so much ;~; But in a maybe cathartic way. (Also, and this is something I should get to later, I think something big about this flashback is that, y'know, it's kind of implied that Shinae has repressed a lot of this. Her memories of the moment are hazy, Alyssa appeared in a series of people Shinae was shocked to realize she harbored so much anger towards. I think as much as this is for US to see exactly what happened, I think it's also kind of a wake up call for Shinae, who has repressed and ignored so much of this, and I'm really REALLY curious to see how she reacts after return to the present. Is she angry? Sad? Sad for her younger self? Is it cathartic for her? How raw is it? Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh)

after talking it through in therapy i am actually very annoyed that i wait the whole week to see my man (who’s not actually my man yet) for him to be like ‘im going to the pub tonight’ instead of inviting me over … and the fact he still hasn’t even invited me out on a date…