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#yeah im back at venting
hella1975 · 7 months
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
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cremanata · 1 year
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it’s my birthday !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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severeweatheralert · 2 months
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emo on main what else is new
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welcometogrouchland · 11 months
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[ID: a sketch page of various drawings of Willow Park from the owl house. From left to right the drawings are: timeskip willow playing flyer derby, Willow in her season 1 casual outfit next to her in her season 3 Halloween costume, Willow as Anne in an amphibia au, young willow doing pottery with her dad Gilbert, young willow and amity holding hands/hugging and smiling, and willow looking at clover, who's perched on her finger and wearing a dress and wig made of yarn so as to resemble Willow. Willow is trying to hold back laughter while clover looks unamused. In the center is a drawing of Willow drawing a large spell circle with her staff, and the title of the sketch page reads "willow week 2023", with each drawing labeled as a specific day/prompt, such as day 3: flyer derby/fav on-screen outfit, day 1: crossover, day 2: childhood/father-daughter, or day 1: palismen bonding. Drawings 2, 6, and 7 are coloured while the rest are uncoloured. The background is a scribbly green. End ID]
hi I’m only a month or so late to it BUT! Nearly out of the mines (finals) and that means i can post the sketch page i worked on for Willow Week! Hosted by @agrebel18
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sc3n3kitt3h · 1 year
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IM LIKE IF A BOY WAS A MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL WAS A SCENE FAG
#SCENE ART#FUNKY COOL ART#T SLUR TW#F SLUR TW#CONTEXT: MY MOM CALLED ME A TRANNY AND A FAGGOT DURING AN ARGUEMENT WITH ME AND HER AND MY DAD#IT DOESNT REALLY BOTHER ME ANYMORE THEYRE DUMB AND CONFUSED AND THEY ONLY LISTEN TO FOX NEWS ABOUT ANYTHING EVER#AND THEY THINK MY BABY FOOD MADE ME AUTISTIC#SO THEIR OPINION ON MY IDENTITY IS STUPID AND WRONG#ANYWAYS I WAS KINDA PISSY ABOUT IT SO I MADE SOMETHING KINDA EZ TO FEEL BETTER AND GET BACK INTO THE SWING OF DOING DIGITAL ART#CUZ IM STILL GETTING USED 2 MY NEW TABLET!!!!!!!!! SIMILAR MODEL SO ITS NO BIGGIE BUT STILL#ANYWAYS IF U COULDNT TELL IM IN A BIG CAPSLOCK MOOD TODAY 4 WHATEVR REASON LAWLZ#ANYWAYS ANYWAYS YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POSITIVE VENT THING IF U WANNA CALL IT THAT#IM NOT SAD ANYMORE CUZ I HAVE FRIENDS AND THEY THINK IM COOL!!!!!!!! AND I THINK IM COOL TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I FINALLY LOVE MYSELF AND ITS SO POGGERS IT WAS SO WORTH IT#AS IN EVERYTHING WAS!!!!!!#AND THIS IS VERY VAGUE BUT THATS FINE CUZ I DONT REALLY WANT ANYONE ON HERE 2 UNDERSTAND LOLZ. OR AT LEAST ALL THE RANDOS FOLLOWING ME#ILY ALL IDK WHO U R THO XD AND U DONT HAVE 2 KNOW MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE STORY#BUT I DO WANT IT TO BE KNOWN SOMEWHERE THAT IM VERY HAPPY AND EXCITED TO BE ALIVE DESPITE EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENED#AS IN EVERYTHING YOU ALL DONT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT#AND I FINALLY LOVE MYSELF AS MUCH AS I LOVE EVERYONE ELSE EVER EVEN MY DUMBFUCK PARENTS!!!!!!!!!#IM SO HAPPY IM ALIVE IM SO HAPPY UR ALIVE TOO :) EVEN IF I DONT KNOW WHO U R (IDK WHO IS AND ISNT READING THIS)#SO I HOPE UR ALL HAPPY WITH URSELVES 2 AND IF UR NOT I HOPE U CAN BE ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND SPEAKING OF DAYS (AS IN 12AM FOR ME AS OF TYPING THIS) I HOPE U HAVE A GOOD 1 TODAY >:D <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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0p1er0 · 4 months
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The joy of looking up stuff that describes you then finding the community and how open they are and how you can be accepted accepted accepted.
Just to remember you hide your real self, who you are, because your family and friends don't know and wouldn't accept you.
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theeio · 7 months
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…yeah okay im burnt out
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the-kipsabian · 2 months
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you know what i was gonna vent post but fuck it positivity moment instead cause whatever is inside of me thats making me sad it can be overruled by the people that still unconditionally love me and i know that and it means everything to me
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waddei · 2 months
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im sorry if i dont answer asks or take a bit with dms i kinda need to be put down rn if im being honest
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spearxwind · 8 months
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i really cant underestimate how much miguel sleeps holy fuck
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silenthillbunni · 1 month
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🍽️😔🎻
#soo blah blah need to vent again abt my health issue situation 💀#yuh so like im so sick nd tired of whats going on. nd not being able to just eat whatever i feel like whenever#it's emotionall draining tbh. im always thinking abt what i could maybe try nd im always like ohh gotta make sure the portion is small etc#it's annoying me sm bc i can def feel the effects of me not getting the right nd enough nutrients nd vitamins etc etc#i get dizzy nd my vision is hazy sometimes. nd im like forgetful bc the other the when i walked home i kept getting lost nd had to walk back#nd forth several times nd i was like ?!?!? what?! i've lived here for 25yrs nd now i just cannot for the life of me rmbr the way#also i am so weak in my body. like carrying even a small amound or books nd groceries nd walking for 30min makes me exhausted#my legs are actually shaking when i get back home nd every step feels like im walking in cement#plus i just wanna be able to go to the gym nd build muscle. but if i dont get enough protein in me i cant build muscles T-T#what else... yeah also i do miss food bc of comfort. like my coffee + chcolate everyday makes me genuinely happy lmao#but i just want the food situation to be normal bc even w veggies im like oh no that is too gas building that is too hard to digest etc etc#it's mentally gruelling to not know how tf to get all the important nutrients!! i def have several deficiences lmao :((#im so over it. but theres nothing i can do. i wish i could just not think abt it 24/7 tho#also. im the thinnest i've ever been BUT. i am constantly bloated so i look fkn pregnant. so i cant even enjoy looking the skinnier
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churrothezanyrabbit · 1 month
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safety in your bedroom, vincent
safety in your bedroom, vincent
safety in your bedroom, vincent
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annachronisme · 2 months
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BEHOLD
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The boy.
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i-may-be-an-emu · 4 months
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dysphoira sucks.
it feels like someone is holding you under the surface of water and you can't breathe but you can see the air just so out of reach and sometimes you catch a breath or two but you are always going to be trying to gasp for air, trying to stay afloat. Trying so desperately to survive that you don't think about anything else.
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onyx-got-clowned · 3 months
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i hate Mormon girls.
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