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torpublishinggroup · 2 years

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Tor Books EPIC Holiday Gift Guide For Your Oddball Family

Hello hello, and welcome back to our annual TOR BOOKS HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE, where we give you what we think are the best gifts for the hyper specific, super chaotic individuals in your life. From your childhood BFF to your mildly traumatized game master, we have a whole slew of bookish picks for you this holiday season. Enjoy, and Happy Holidays, y’all!

by Rachel Taylor and a cat

For your long suffering GM (Game Master) who just wants a break from your party — via tenor

Anyone who acts as game master for Dungeons & Dragons (or any other TTRPG, to be frank) deserves an award for powering through all the shenanigans their party puts them through. From attempting to fight a dragon with a fork to accidentally leading your party off a cliff, your deeply stressed out GM deserves a cozy novel to help them decompress. Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree is out now and, for an extra little something, you can submit your receipt to get an adorable acrylic charm, a perfect addition to your gift!

For your cousin who remained loyal and never left Tumblr — via GIPHY

You remember the Tumblr exodus of 2019, and for shame—you were part of it, you fragile soul. But not your cousin. Resolute, they stood by their blog and posted through the long, long night. Three years later, Tumblr is resurging and you need a gift for the one who never lost faith. What’s more Tumblr than magic danger-nerds alternatively hooking up with and hating each other as they conduct research and mainline caffeine and/or alcohol? Redeem your past mistakes with the perfect bookly gifts for your cousin: Olivie Blake’s The Atlas Six and thrilling sequel, The Atlas Paradox.

For the enthusiastic players who got their GM Legends & Lattes — @lookhuman via GIPHY

You love the players at your table, but even after years of collaborative TTRPG storytelling, you’ve never once anticipated the many ways they have conspired to unravel every plot thread you’ve ever written. How then could you ever predict what they might like as a gift? Easy. Just listen to us: Daughter of Redwinter by Ed McDonald is a fantastic epic fantasy about a girl who can A) see ghosts, and B) turn people into them with an expertly placed arrow, if she takes the mind. Of course, if anyone finds out about her power, she’s dead, and circumstances have led her to become a ward in the monastery of the very warrior-magi that would execute her. Oops! What gamesplayer can resist a quick-paced and twisting tale of magic, adventure, and deceit?

For your ex-boyfriend who’s still blowing up your phone with House of the Dragon TikTok’s — via GIPHY

So your ex-boyfriend (who you’re still friends with, DESPITE THE ADVICE OF OTHERS) just finished House of the Dragon and he won’t stop texting you about how much it sucks to have to wait 2 years for season 2. He’s right, but you can still give him a new epic fantasy to obsess over with The First Binding by R.R. Virdi. At over 800 pages, it’ll keep him busy for quite a while AND it also doubles as a premium bludgeoning weapon for you if he doesn’t appreciate your gift. Win win!

For your chronically-online uncle who needs to stop doomscrolling for his own health — @dualvoidmania via GIPHY

He’s mister doom-and-gloom. If there’s an upsetting tweet, you’ve seen it because he’s retweeted it. You don’t quite know him well enough to be comfortable with direct intervention. You need to gift him Last Exit by Max Gladstone. It’s a book about the death of idealism and the rot that creeps through the cracks of reality like so many corrosively fecund vines. It’s about a generation who thought they would transform the world and failure’s fallout. He’ll still be very DOOM-ful, but in an artistically fun, yet still scary way.

For your brother who is OBSESSED with The Wheel of Time on Amazon Prime — via GIPHY

So your brother watched The Wheel of Time on Amazon Prime and has fallen down the 14+ book-deep rabbithole that is Robert Jordan’s timeless epic fantasy series. Help him delve even further into the lore with Origins of the Wheel of Time by Michael Livingston! He’ll be able to learn even more about all the mythology and legends that inspired Robert Jordan’s universe and you’ll get some peace and quiet while he’s absorbed in his new book.

For your sister who always has at least 5 open browser tabs of Ao3 fics — via Gfycat

Who among us hasn’t spent some time reading fix-it fics on Ao3? Well, no one compares to your sister, who currently has 30 tabs open on her iPhone filled with her favorite OTP falling in love 30 different ways (IF THE SHOW WON’T GIVE THEM A HAPPILY EVER AFTER, THE INTERNET WILL). You can’t buy her the perfect 100 chapter slow burn coffee shop fix-it fic of her OTP, but you CAN buy her Ocean’s Echo by Everina Maxwell! It features all the choicest tropes like mutual pining, slowburn, and fake dating and will be sure to put a smile on her face for the holidays.

For your estranged mother, to subtly let her know that your relationship still requires some Conversations — via GIPHY & tenor

Do you want to give your mother a gift that’s also a hint about how you feel about your tumultuous parental relationship? Just Like Home by Sarah Gailey is the gift for her! It’s got great thriller vibes, with a daughter coming back to her family home for the first time after her father was arrested for being a serial killer…which she kind of caused. And mom’s still holding a grudge over a DECADE later. It’s got drama, monsters, and enough parallels to make your mom go ‘Wait, is this f*cking play about US?!’

For the loved one in your life who waited 2.5 years to finally see My Chemical Romance live in Fall 2022 — @KyleeConriquez via GIPHY

A million years ago (Or two and a half. Whatever. Time is meaningless mush) your loved one planned to attend the My Chemical Romance reunion. A show that would eventually be put off and off and off due to ongoing events until earlier this year. It was epic, but you know what else is? Book of Night by Holly Black. Your loved one won’t have to wait 900~ days for this literary event, and just like an MCR show, they’ll want to acquire (more) goth clothes and tattoos after.

For the childhood BFF everyone called a ‘voracious reader’ growing up / anyone who was ‘a delight to have in class’ — via Goodreads

Did your childhood BFF simply devour every book in front of her? Is she still That Person whose TBR pile is precariously stacked in the corner of her living room, a threat to anyone who brushes too close? Give her a book to really whet her appetite for reading in The Book Eaters by Sunyi Dean, where a very special family literally sustains themselves entirely by eating books. Did we bite a book while reading this to see if we were book eaters? Who’s to say.

For your college best friend with at least one historical quote tattoo — via GIPHY

Does your college best friend have an encyclopedic knowledge of historical retellings? Do they have, at minimum, one historically linked tattoo that prompts a 20 minute lecture whenever someone asks what it means? Do they have five different editions of The Song of Achilles on their shelf? And most importantly, do they crave a new, queer retelling to sink their teeth into? Look no further! Neon Yang has a Joan of Arc inspired, post-apocalyptic sci-fi story for you. Check out The Genesis of Misery, starring a queer and diverse array of pilots, princesses, and prophetic heirs.

For the ambiguously LGBTQ+ niece whose fashion sense you try to understand, but ultimately makes you feel insecure about how fast you’re aging — @yifan via GIPHY

You love them, but no one makes you feel old like your nebulously but definitely queer niece. They’re so cool, and are very helpful in keeping you up to date on the hippest trends, but every time you talk to them, you feel the pent-up years in your joints. Get your niece A. K. Larkwood’s The Serpent Gates series, including The Unspoken Name and The Thousand Eyes. It’s about a gay orc death priestess who rebrands herself as a garbage wizard’s personal assassin and picks up a gods-cursed, magi-baddie mid-adventure. There are cosmic gods, ancient ruins, devious machinations, and a lot of awesome gay stuff.

For the sibling on their third+ rewatch of The Expanse — via GIPHY

We get it. Your sibling buddy is bummed that The Expanse has finished its TV run and is still hopelessly in love with its marriage of adrenaline-flooding action and introspective parsing of human expansion / empire. Again, we do get it, and what you need to get is Sweep of Stars by Maurice Broaddus.

For the nephew who you gifted The Way of Kings to last year — via GIPHY

Your nephew reads through books at speeds generally known only to muscle cars and lightning, and he needs long fantasy books now! The time required to produce the next installment in an epic series is often as long as the books themselves, which is unfortunate since it’s time for you to gift your nephew another book. Here’s the good news: Brandon Sanderson writes as fast as your nephew reads, and his long-awaited continuation of the Mistborn series, The Lost Metal, is the perfect gift. And then next year you can get him the next Brando Sando, and the book cycle of giving goes on and on and on.

We hope you and your loves ones have a happy and safe holiday season! Did we miss a super niche friend/family member that you want to see a gift for? Let us know in the comments!

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lilhawkeye3 · 4 years

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This Ohio discourse has got me dying to create discourse about every other state now hehe so I officially present:

Hawk’s review of 36/50 US states!

In alphabetical order because that fuckin song “50 nifty United States” has been stuck in my head since fourth grade.

Arizona: Phoenix is hot. Can’t believe y’all choose to live in a place that gets haboobs. Saw Sen. John McCain in the airport. I feel that sums up the state well. 4/10

California: as a resident of the state of Oregon, I’m legally required to say fuck California😌 unless anyone else talking shit about Cali and then we got your back😤 SoCal vs San Fran vs Northern Cal are totally different worlds though. 7/10

Colorado: damn idk how y’all breathe there, them air is thin. But really pretty out there! 7/10

Connecticut: oh my god fuck New Haven. And Stamford, and Hartford, and— Yknow what? Let’s just toss the whole state into the Sound. For real, traffic is the WORST here and I’m so sorry that y’all gotta live like that. 3/10

Delaware: I cannot believe this is considered a state. There’s no difference between Delaware and Maryland/Pennsylvania. 1/10 should not be a state

Florida: “the only hills in Florida are the highway ramps and the Matterhorn!” —the shuttle driver at Disney World. He was right. Shit is flat as fuck here. And hot. And humid. The Gulf Coast is nice? But tbh it’s just all very touristy which is kind of a bummer. 5/10

Georgia: ...I can’t with the humidity or thinly veiled racism. But y’all got nice peaches! Also Black Panther filmed there so thank you for blessing us with that. 6/10 for fruits

Hawaii: okay pineapple farms are cool. Tbh I just feel really bad for how much mainlander/tourist bs all the islanders put up with. Ik price of living is v high and keeps going up. That said I did love Hawaii... although I was stung by a jellyfish. Hate those little bastards. 8/10 for wonderful people and nature

Idaho: as an Oregonian I’m required to also say fuck Idaho 😝 you da hoes. Okay for real tho southern Idaho has become v white white and kinda scary tbh. The northern part of the state is pretty chill tho. Also Oreida kettle chips are partly made in Idaho so I gotta give you half credit for that. 4/10

Illinois: at least you’re not Indiana. 4/10.

Indiana: I never want to step foot in Gary, Indiana again in my life. (Passed a Mack truck hauling a race car to Indy 500 though so that was cool.) 2/10

Iowa: I almost moved here. I’m so glad I didn’t. Why are the Quad Cities actually a group of five towns? I hate that. Also the roads were all cement, felt like driving on a sidewalk. Was also interesting because the second we got out of the city proper, it was just... corn fields everywhere. 2/10 y’all raising children of the corn.

Kentucky: I really don’t have anything to say about Kentucky. I thought the trees were pretty? 5/10 yeah idk

Maine: my relative has totaled two cars by hitting moose in Maine. Maine scares me. Or rather, the moose do. Also the lobster roll hype is real. And the coast truly is beautiful. 8/10 but an extra point for the moose bc I hate that relative so 9/10

Maryland: oh god Baltimore. Also I’m blaming you for the DC traffic because it’s on the land you gifted them. 3/10

Massachusetts: Patriots fans are the worst NFL fans (the racism is real, especially after fans burned the jerseys of Black players who knelt for the anthem). Liking Dunkin’ Donuts is not a personality trait. The North End in Boston is truly the best place to get pizza in the entire country. Western Mass is not the same state. And the Cape Cod bridges give me nightmares. 5/10 but cause I had to pay taxes two years and it really is Taxachusetts, knocking it down to 4/10

Michigan: it’s a lot bigger than I initially thought. 5/10

Minnesota: it’s Canada but in the US. Pretty driving through the southern part. Cops suck tho. 5/10

Montana: okay Montana is downright gorgeous. (Except Billings. Sorry, Billings.) I must include a photo. I wanna get a cabin here and just exist. 8/10

New Hampshire: can’t decide if it hates Massachusetts or wants to be Massachusetts. All it knows is that it’s better than Vermont. Which... y’know, valid. (If you wanna see NH culture watch North Woods Law tbh). 4/10

New Jersey: why are there so many goddamn highways in this state? Also there are more places to weekend trip than the Shore or the Poconos. Although you do have people pump gas for you just like Oregon, so... that’s valid. Things my friends have added: Newark airport is cursed (valid), the jughandles are nightmares (true), pork roll/Taylor Ham is good and so are bagels and New Jersey pizza (allergic so idk), and everyone is split on whether the shore is actually decent or not 😂 I give it a 3.5/10 out of spite

New York: NYC is fun, Upstate is MASSIVE but really beautiful. Long Island is... yeah I don’t have anything nice to say about Long Island. 8/10 For NYC, 6/10 for Upstate, -2/10 for Long Island, gives us an average of 6/10

North Carolina: very good peaches. Isn’t South Carolina. Keep it up👍🏽 6/10

Ohio: I already told y’all how I feel about this flat ass boring state. I feel no need to slander it any more lmao. 3/10

Oregon: she flies with her own wings, mi amor🥰 to list all the reasons I like Oregon (and the issues too bc it ain’t perfect), I would need a whole other post. I’ll just leave you with this picture I took of Mt. Hood, the queen of our Cascades. 11/10

Pennsylvania: so apparently PN is three states hiding in a trench coat like NY. There’s upstate, philly and Pittsburg. Personally I think they’re just trying too hard and wanna get the same recognition as NY. Meh. 5/10

Rhode Island: THIS FUCKIN SHAM OF A STATE Just merge it with Connecticut and be done with it!! It’s tiny. Providence sucks. There’s nothing unique about this state that you can’t find in Southern Mass (except MA has cheaper taxes so y’all come to work and shop in MA anyways smh). Also the fingers are really annoying to drive down to get to some beach areas haha. 2/10 you’re barely better than Delaware.

South Carolina: my Black father was invited to a party celebrating General Robert E Lee’s birthday. So... 0/10

South Dakota: very gorgeous, didn’t realize the Missouri River went this far west, but VERY LARGE. I mean it looks big on a map but then you get there and... yeah. No speed limit on highways is a great time though. And the Badlands have mountain goats! 6/10 bc while pretty, living there seems really hard. (Picture is me in the Badlands).

Texas: gave us Juneteenth and Beyoncé and JJ Watts. Thank you Texas. But is very big, got independence from Mexico to keep slavery (yikes), is like 97% private land (yikes) and is like the second or third largest state. Very big. That said, everyone I’ve ever met from Texas is lovely. 6/10.

Utah: Other than Idaho, this is the whitest state I’ve been to. Or it feels that way. Like a, the people crossed to the other side of the street and held their bags because I’m brown, state. And I don’t ski so I can’t even say that’s a good thing (I fell off the ski lift the one time I went, long story). Yeah 0/10.

Vermont: wants to be New Hampshire or Canada and can’t decide which. So it’s just kinda there. Pretty hills though. 3/10

Virginia: let’s be real we all forget that Virginia exists west of Richmond. Nova is a beauracratic and traffic nightmare and half our neighbors had to pass security clearance checks. Hampton Roads and beach area is a tourist and mosquito nightmare. But there were dolphins and I made snowmen on the beach. Good times. 6.7/10

Washington: again, legally required as an Oregon resident to say fuck Washington because it’s all your fault we now are getting a toll on the I-5 border. But you’re better than California. And the Sound is really cool for fishing, love Wicked Tuna. And the fish market. Best salmon I’ve had. Eastern Washington... y’all got Spokane but the rest is kinda sparse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 8/10

Wisconsin: cheese is actually good. Again, pretty state, much larger than I initially thought. 7/10

Wyoming: this was the ONLY STATE I lost cell service in when diriving cross country. Kinda surprised it wasn’t Montana, but no, it was Wyoming. Views are gorgeous though so I was distracted either way. 4/10

Thank you for joining me on this cross-country edition of Tea Time with Hawk. Please respond with any reactions, corrections, addendums about any and all of the states mentioned. And thank you for taking part in this wholesome Clone Wars fandom discourse with me 🥰💕

DISCLAIMER: THESE RATINGS ARE ALL A JOKE PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY GET MAD ABOUT IT

#ohio discourse #50 states reviews #oregon #midwest #california #texas #New York #massachusetts #deep south #midatlantic #New England #united states #the clone wars #DISCOURSE COMMENCE

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paragonshep · 4 years

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Happy N7 Day, friends and ememies, and welcome to an unplanned stream-of-consciousness thought experiment I like to call

The Bare Fucking Minimum

What is this, you ask? Well I am, once again, thinking about Jacob Taylor. Specifically, I’m thinking about the complete shitshow that was Jacob’s story arc. What were the themes, the overarching concepts? And were they deliberately trying to piss off everyone who romanced him?

In honor of the announcement of a remaster that will almost certainly do nothing for him, I’m here to ask: if we assume that all the major story elements must remain the same, what’s the minimum that could be changed to bring all of his everything from a major shitshow to a minor shitshow?

Let me preface this by saying that 1) I am not a writer, and 2) I am not black. The scope of this post is fairly limited, and mostly relates to tidying up the themes and emotional arc while keeping the actual events largely unchanged. I’m fully aware that Jacob’s loyalty mission, for example, is absolutely steeped in racist tropes, and that a lot of people out there would prefer to just throw the whole thing out and start over. I get that, but that’s not something I’m equipped to do, so if that’s what you were looking for, this post probably isn’t the one for you.

This is also pretty much spun right off the top of my head. I didn’t draft this, I’m not really digging too deep. I’m just collecting and laying out some thoughts I had floating around in my head, so this is gonna get pretty disjointed. Feel free to throw out your own thoughts in the notes. I may or may not dive in and chat with y’all, since this is mostly just to get these thoughts out of my head and on a page. We’ll see once things get going.

Anyway let’s start at the top.

1. What’s it all about, when you get right down to it?

So, Jacob’s whole arc is a complete fucking mess and feels like they just threw a bunch of random shit at it to see what would stick, but ultimately I think it’s about masculinity and Jacob’s conception of what makes a man. I think the key to Jacob as a character is understanding what traits embody masculinity, and which people he thinks have missed the mark. There’s clearly things like strength and integrity, but follow-through, duty, and keeping promises seem to be major elements in his definition of masculinity. Put a pin in that, we’ll come back to that later. Unfortunately, it’s time to talk about...

2. The Loyalty Mission

Oh boy. Welp. Let’s get this over with, I guess.

So obviously this is racist and really shit and really Bioware should just throw the whole thing out, but again, that's not what we're going here. This is the part I've given the least thought to, so it will probably be short and not come to many conclusions. anyway let's grit our teeth and look for the theme that ties in into Jacob's greater narrative arc. Specifically, if Jacob's whole thing is "what makes a man", then we need to look at how exactly his father missed the mark.

Spoiler alert: it's duty.

Ultimately, his father was captain and it was his obligation to get the crew home, even if it was personally inconvenient. It was his duty as a father to try to get home himself for the sake of his family. It was about obligation, oaths and promises he broke. Can I get some uhhhhhhhhhhhh fucking themes. Dive into that shit more.

I’m too tired to get more into it bc I’m actually writing this section last, but it’s interesting to note that even afterwards Jacob’s feelings about his father are complicated. Like, he hates the guy and thinks he’s despicable, but he still feels a need to try to find that things he got even half right. He can’t bring himself to write off everything the man ever was. That feels like a rich vein they could have done something with, but they didn’t.

3. The Romance, ME2

This one is an absolute fucking mess.

So there are two threads running through the core of this romance arc: the kink/powerplay element and the time element, and a major problem of the romance is that it doesn’t really know which one it is.

So, I know a lot of people dislike the whole kink element just on principle, but I’m not here to do that. Not everyone is into soft vanilla stuff, and it’s a little irritating how much of the fandom (and the world) tries to paint kink as inherently evil or unhealthy. THAT SAID, the kink here is inefficient in terms of storytelling, it’s sloppy writing, and the whole time I played the romance I was thinking “What’s the point of this?”. The problem with that element, and the fact that the ME2 love scene focuses on it, is that it does not serve any overarching narrative, either in terms of romance progression or Jacob’s whole character. It feels slapped on. It’s just not good storytelling. (and while i’m generally for kink, I am also side eyeing Bioware for slapping this on ME’s first black character and only him. not offensive in and of itself, but feels like part of a greater racist picture)

I’m honestly shocked they didn’t lean harder into the whole theme of time, and specifically time running out, because it seems like the obvious choice. It’s built into the whole main plot of ME2, and it’s an element of multiple other romances. You’re all heading into a suicide mission, there’s a serious chance you’re all going to die, and you don’t have enough time. Like what the fuck! That would have been emotionally satisfying!

Imagine if the final romance scene had featured Jacob coming to see Shepard and having this whole speech/rant about how he doesn’t like to rush into things, how he likes to take it slow and really get to know each other, but now there’s no more time and you both might die tomorrow, and he might regret this choice if you live but he knows he’ll regret not making it if you die!!!!!! That’s some real shit! it completes a narrative arc! It ties into shit we know about Jacob outside his romance!!! Why the fuck didn’t they go that route!!!!!!! Can you tell I’m still angry!!!!!

4. ME3

So Jacob’s role in this game is pretty minimal, so there’s not a lot to work with and not a lot to change. Good thing I can fix like 90% of its issues with one change:

It’s not his child Dr. Cole is carrying.

Like that alone you can use to fix a bunch of issues without changing the core themes of his character arc! It works in a romance and non romance playthrough! You can still do a fatherhood “doing better than my own father did” arc even if Jacob didn’t contribute the sperm, Bioware!!!!!

So here’s how I picture it: The stuff about meeting and getting to know Jacob can stay the same. The father of Dr. Cole’s child is someone we never meet who is generally out of the picture. Possibly one of the other scientists she was working with who were killed when their part of the project was complete. Her partner disappears, she goes to Jacob for help, and Jacob promises to help her and her coworkers get out and keep them safe. Remember that shit I said back under point one about keeping promises? Boom! Narrative arc complete. This would also serve as an excuse to keep Jacob from coming back the the Normandy, since he made a promise to Brynn and he’s going to see it through. This works even with a romanced Jacob, because he can love Shepard and also note that she’s not the person who needs him most right now! Is this a perfect solution that would please every player? By no means! But I bet a lot of us would be less absolutely livid about it!

In conclusion,

I realize actually implementing these changes would actually be a whole lot of work, and this is not, in fact, a simple quick fix. My point is mostly that this did not require changing any actual plot beats, just recontextualizing them, and that Bioware and the writer(s) responsible could have saved themselves a lot of angry players if they’d just picked a coherent theme for this character and stuck to it. There’s no excuse for Jacob’s writing being as incoherent and terrible as it is.

I could probably write a lot more about this, but since I’m basically illiterate this took me pretty much all day to write and I’m tired. Bioware Stop Being So Racist Challenge, and Happy N7 Day.

#mass effect #ME #ME2 #ME3 #Jacob Taylor

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dustedmagazine · 3 years

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Jonathan Shaw 2020: Another Year of Pissed-off, Bone-tired but Resilient Music

I’ll forego the exercise of noting in any sort of detail what a shitty, shitty year 2020 was. Stipulate to the point.

But there has been some really terrific music, both new and old, to sustain us. Given the unrelenting tides of awfulness and misery, the music has been especially crucial, and I am even more grateful than usual that we have such brilliant, talented and courageous artists among us. They can channel our anger, respond to our sadness and create moments of transcendent joy — even in the teeth of all the feckless fascists, the capitalist criminals and an earth ball increasingly struggling for its breath.

I will take a moment to repeat my customary EOY-column disclaimers: This isn’t a “best-of” list, so much as an accounting of the records that refused to leave the rotation of sides that moved through my life in 2020. As ever, there were too many records to listen to, too many more that I had committed to reviewing, daunting stacks of songs that needed my attention. But the releases listed below kept turning up when I pressed play — and I kept turning them up, louder.

SUMAC’s May You Be Held and Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou’s May Our Chambers Be Full were the records that I played most often this year, even though they were released fairly late into 2020. Maybe there was something in the wishful invocations of the record’s titles that variously touched my moods. Through 2020, I did a lot of wishing for other and very different circumstances. So I list those two records first. The rest of the records appear in alphabetical order. I listened to all of them a lot.

SUMAC — May You Be Held (Thrill Jockey)

May You Be Held by SUMAC

A prayer. The record’s integration of improvisation and rigorously heavy song forms has an unusual power, both meditative and propulsive. The players are uncannily in tune with one another’s talents and vibes. They’re all talented musicians—don’t sleep on Brian Cook’s bass playing on this record. The band makes and stays in a tight pocket. You listen to their performances, and to this record from end to end, and you feel like you’ve come through something. Exhausted, thrilled and transformed.

Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou — May Our Chambers Be Full (Sacred Bones)

May Our Chambers Be Full by Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou

A collaborative record that issues in gloriously intense and beautifully excoriating music. Rundle’s voice in full song with Bryan Funck’s is something to hear, and the players’ musical sensibilities prove complementary in any number of interesting, aesthetically effective ways. It’s been kind of fun watching the metal blogs and press attempt to label the music: “atmospheric sludge”? “Post sludge?” What’s next? Melo-sludge? In this case, the inevitable label-wrangling seems especially irrelevant. The songs and the sound demand your attention. They’re really good. The record never neglects the heaviness of life’s gloomy difficulties, but the songs still find ways to soar.

Decoherence — Unitary (Sentient Ruin Laboratories)

Unitarity by Decoherence

There were a number of really good black metal records released this year (see Botanist’s and Shaidar Logoth’s recent sides for some evidence of the music’s underappreciated diversity). Unitary is clearly a black metal record, but it doesn’t sound quite like anything else. It hisses, hums and crackles with industrial atmosphere, and sometimes there’s a lot of dissonance to listen through, in order to discover the band’s powerful gifts for riffs and propulsive rhythm. And while the tones and textures are transfixing, the songs are really strong as songs. Twisting, extruding, hammering: is this the black metal of physics?

Fuck the Facts — Pleine Noirceur (Noise Salvation)

Pleine Noirceur by Fuck The Facts

Okay, okay — so I’m cheating a bit. This record was released way late in 2020, so technically I have played some other records a bit more often. But this one is too good not to get a shout here. Fuck the Facts is classed as a grindcore band, and they can rage and sprint along with the best of them. But their music is a lot more than speed and fury. Melodic invention and emotional atmosphere are crucial components, maybe on this record especially. I’ve only played it about a hundred or so times so far. I’ll let you know.

Mamaleek — Come & See (The Flenser)

Come and See by Mamaleek

This record was released in late winter, but its fury and themes made it a strangely prescient soundtrack for the summer months of protest. George Floyd. Breonna Taylor. Many more whose names we don’t know. The grinding misery of life in Chicago’s Cabrini-Green housing projects provides the socio-cultural focus of Come & See, and the record’s righteous indignation is in tune with the sounds of voices raised, and cops buckling on riot gear. Mamaleek is frequently tagged as a black metal band, but their questing sensibility always exceeds the genre. There’s some noise rock, some punk and even some blues in the music’s volatile mix. It’s deeply angry.

Primitive Man — Immersion (Relapse Records)

Immersion by Primitive Man

Less massive and noisy than their previous LP Caustic (2017), Primitive Man’s Immersion is a focused gut punch—or more properly, a deliberate battery of them, delivered with the patience and precision of a trained fighter. Primitive Man’s sludgy doom (doomy sludge?) lends fresh credence to terms too often trotted out in writing about this sort of music: “crushing,” “punishing,” “pulverizing.” Applied to this record, those words regain their relevance. And Ethan McCarthy’s vocals may be the heaviest sound in contemporary metal. Yikes.

Raspberry Bulbs — Before the Age of Mirrors (Relapse Records)

Before The Age Of Mirrors by Raspberry Bulbs

The phrase “blackened punk” really bugs me: blackened as opposed to what? Taupe? Raspberry Bulbs give the phrase some meaningful bite with this terrific record—the latest in a string of them from the band, which started as a solo project for Marco del Rio. He may be more familiar to some Dusted readers as “He Who Crushes Teeth,” longtime member of Bone Awl. For Raspberry Bulbs, he moves to guitar, and slashes and tears at these songs, now with a consistent full band behind him. The songs have a punky tunefulness, even as they burn with black metal’s cold fire.

Special Interest — The Passion of (Thrilling Living)

The Passion Of by Special Interest

I got to this one way too late. Special Interest’s first record Spiraling (2018) seemed to me overly enamored of its own casual nihilism, and all the hype accompanying the release of The Passion of put me off. Then I listened to the record (always a productive practice for the music critic…). Holy shit, it’s good. There’s still a lot of creepy sexual violence and druggy dissipation. But the songs’ socio-economic critique is incisive and never preachy, and it contextualizes the rest of the grimness and gruesomeness with sharp and a coherent politics. An excellent punk record.

The Stooges — Live at Goose Lake, August 8th, 1970 (Third Man Records)

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For listeners deeply engaged with the Stooges — a game-changing band and a total mess — it’s hard to overstate the importance of this record. It’s a recording of a Stooges live set that actually sounds great; and because the recording is so clear, you can hear Dave Alexander’s bass, a crucial piece of sonic evidence that counters the long-established story of the band’s set at Goose Lake and Alexander’s subsequent firing from the Stooges. History is revised, right there in your ears. Mostly, though, it’s a good live set by the band. Ron Asheton’s scorching guitar and, eventually, Steve Mackay’s sax stylings fire up the pyrotechnic intensity. Punk? Free jazz? Why choose?

Sun City Girls — Live at Sky Church, September 3, 2004 (2182 Recording Company)

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The Girls were always way, way out ahead. Post-everything, pranksomely funny and deadly serious, their wit existed in tremulous balance with their inexhaustible curiosity about music’s arcane power and their equally inexhaustible rage. Their 2004 set at Seattle’s Bumbershoot Festival focused largely on the rage. 2182 Recording Company’s release includes a DVD of the performance, and it’s essential. The Bishop brothers and Charles Gaucher, Jr., fill the stage with politically charged images and props: a Saddam Hussein mask, a portrait of Osama Bin Laden, copies of Mein Kampf and Brother Number One. They pour and hurl various forms of invective on and at the festival audience, and the band plays with passionate ugliness, seizing the opportunity to draw connections between art, entertainment and ideology. A vital document of a uniquely American event.

Thanks for the tunes, y’all, and smell you later, 2020.

Jonathan Shaw

#dusted magazine #jonathan shaw #sumac #emma rundle #thou #decoherence #fuck the facts #mamaleek #primitive man #raspberry bulbs #special interest #the stooges #sun city girls #metal #punk #yearend 2020

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stonerbughead · 4 years

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Maria watches friday night lights (#10)

Ahhh this season is so good, I’m not ready for it to end! This post covers the penultimate episodes: 3x11 - 3x12

-oh boyyy Lyla’s getting drunk to deal with her daddy issues. Real! Tho it is nice seeing Billy, Lyla, Tim, and Mindy getting along I guess? Sigh.

-HAHAHA poor Tyra being forced to throw Mindy a “tea party” bridal shower.

-let’s maybe NOT call your son’s 15 year old girlfriend a “minx” or a “plague,” Joe McCoy?!?!

-oh Matt :( taking out his anger and emotions about his grandma’s deteriorating health on his mom :( this is so hard

-oooooh this redistricting plotline is such an interesting shake up!! Holy shit these fully grown men standing around a table redrawing the redistricting line to “keep the Dillon Panthers intact” is truly wild.

-I really like this scene where Lyla breaks down to Tim about letting her mom and siblings move to California without her and feeling like she has no family now that Buddy has hurt her. I feel like too many teen dramas have a teen character’s family move away and never show it affecting them which feels wholly unrealistic.

-I have to believe Texas weather around semifinals time actually lends itself to dramatic pouring rain?? Bc I mean, it WORKS but this happened in S1 too right?

“He’s got to do what the coach tells him to do!” Thank you Katie McCoy. You need to get away from your terrible, controlling husband. Like, even when they win this dude isn’t happy bc it didn’t happen the WAY he thought it should.

-omfg I just gasped when JD’s dad called Madison a “tramp.” WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU

-and of course Tami and Eric are seated in the window of Applebee’s seeing the abuse happen and run out to help. You know who Tami and Eric remind me of (except they’re better): Kirsten and Sandy Cohen of the OC. It’s that “parents of everyone, moral compass of the community” trope. Honestly like, the only good teen drama parent trope. (To a similar extent I guess Mary and Fred Andrews’ play/ed that role on Riverdale)

“I think I’m okay here, hanging with my gal” - Tim Riggins is such a romantic boy wow. His pep talk for Lyla about going to college despite her dad’s bullshit was so precious.

“He hit my baby.” Oh pooor Katie McCoy, you need to get yourself and your boy away from your husband.

-lol when’s the last time we saw Gracie? Julie’s been absent this ep, she babysitting? Hahaha

-oh yes Tyra deserves this beautiful pep talk from her mom!!

-good on this show for naming what Joe McCoy did as “child abuse” bc YEP. Tami and Eric feeling awful about calling CPS (but being mandated to do so as educators) is such a real and well done conflict.

-omg Matt’s art portfolio!! He wants to go to Chicago for art! I just love the image of Tami, Julie, and Matt flipping through his portfolio ugh yes. Soft.

“It reads like a five page needlepoint pillow.” Lmao Landry and yeah, writing the college essay sucks.

“They have the biggest Van Gogh collection.” Saracen’s a man after my own heart.

FYI I left and Jeff gave me a dab that hit hard (I dramatically said it “killed me”) so the rest of 3x12 and the post was composed whilst I’m even more stoned than usual.

-wow Landry missing the bus the ONE time he drinks damn

-hey I’ve never seen this coach leading the chants on the bus before. Is this like his whole job

-awww Lorraine asking Julie if Matt likes art and she’s like, yeah he loves it! And he’s amazing at it. So cute. Oh wow both of them agreeing they don’t want to “hold him back from anything.”

-My heart! This show does such a good job of showing so many heartwarming dynamics of all kinds.

-ooookay Katie I get why you don’t want to be friends with Tami anymore....but like y’all need parenting classes, your husband is straight up abusive to your child. Also I’m scared for you, please leave that man

-OMFG Tyra lost her virginity at THIRTEEN? That’s so heartbreaking. Also everything she’s screaming about in the car needs to start going into this college essay. Omg is she gonna write about Jason Street getting paralyzed? Real. How many people in this town do you think used that in their college essay?

-Tim and Matt scene THANK YOU I am blessed

-omfg Tyra reading her essay out loud to Landry overlaying Tami and Eric on the field; Julie with baby grace; Saracen and Tim throwing the frisbee; the raucous Colette-riggins family in the car. Beautiful!!! Perfection.

-lol I saw the year 2008 on the game board and realized if this was fall 2008...I was a freshman in high school. JD is my peer.

-omg Joe McCoy has THE douchebag glasses. Classic child abuser am I right

-JD throwing a fit on the field is good fucking characterization bc you mimic what your parents do, especially when you’re a 15 year old kid

-OH SHIT SARACEN’S GOING IN AS QUARTERBACK FOR HIS LAST HALF EVER AS A HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL PLAYER??? The drama! The writing!

-YALL I am out here white knuckling it through this state game and I barely understand football and yet...I’m like wow really all you need to do to get me interested in a sport is make me care about the characters playing. Saracen and riggins are working so well together I cry

-damn what a way to go down. They actually turned the game around and a field goal is what made them lose :(

“I wanted everyone’s friends and families to be here tonight when I say this: I have never been more proud of a team than I am right now” oh Eric Taylor what a man

“There’s not a single person in this room who’s ever gonna be the same”’ wow I felt that

-Riggins always seems more contemplative in a Sherpa

#maria watches friday night lights #mine #friday night lights 3x11 #friday night lights 3x12

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selfindulgentpoorlywritten · 4 years

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Alright y’all, I’m gonna post the prologue to this N. Hischier thing I’ve been working on. Please please please tell me if you like it so I know whether to invest the time and energy! Also, all the German is mine, so if it’s bad, it’s because I haven’t practiced German in six years, sorry.

Rating: T

Pairing: Nico Hischier/Reader

Words: 1414

Warnings: alcohol, blood, vague abuse reference

Requested: yes/no

Summary: This isn’t how you expected the wrap party to go, but here you are.

The pain is immediate and knocks the wind out of you; or more into you, with the way it makes you gasp. You feel more than hear the crunch, and that would make you worry if you could think anything other than “ouch”. Except the dude who hit you is talking, so you should say something back, and it’s pretty lucky you speak German cause this guy either doesn’t know English or is too panicked to remember it.

“Mir geht’s gut!” you reassure him, making a placating gesture with the hand not holding the blood in your nose, “Schmerz wie eine Miststück, aber es wird mir gut gehen.” It hurts like a bitch, but I’ll be okay. Speaking German comes naturally after the first sentence or so, once your brain gets with the program. It helps that German makes a whole lot more sense than English, in pretty much every way.

“You should let me take you to the hospital,” he continues in what’s clearly Swiss German, making abortive movements like he wants to reach out and help but isn’t sure his touch would be welcome. Someone at the table he seems to be with hands him some napkins, which he passes to you. Your shirt is already ruined, but the napkins help control the flow of blood so it doesn’t ruin anything around you.

“No, it’s fine,” you insist, surprised at how well you’re speaking, “The hospital is literally down the street, I can walk.” You leave out the part where your nose is definitely broken, because the guy already looks like he’s on the verge of a panic attack.

“Hey, Switzerland v. Germany,” another guy from the table calls, standing and looking at the guy who’d elbowed you in the face like a little brother he’s responsible for, “Pretty sure someone should be taking this chick to the ER.” Usually being called a “chick” would annoy you, but he says it so neutrally it’s somehow not at all irritating.

“I’m trying to take her,” Elbow-guy responds, almost defensive. If they looked at all alike, you really would think they were siblings.

“There’s a 24-hour Urgent Care down the street,” you say, adjusting the napkins as the blood refuses to stop, “I can walk myself.” You’re not exactly a wilting flower. They probably can’t see that, though, because of the leather jacket you’re wearing-- which is totally ruined now too, fuck. They’re probably misunderstanding the thickness of your thighs and bagginess of your shirt as hiding extra softness, rather than meaning you could bench press or squat any one of them. Not that that says anything about your pain tolerance, ‘cause often the big strong guys are the ones who cry at any pain. The number of tattoos littering your body however, that does say a little something.

“I’ll let all of you walk with me if y’all just let me go,” you huff, because the point of the matter is that you need to go get your nose set and this is getting kind of ridiculous.

“Good, I’m coming then,” Elbow-guy says immediately, taking a resolute step forward. You shrug and shoot a text to your friends at the bar as you head toward the door. Elbow-guy rushes ahead to open and hold the door for you. You look to the side and make momentary eye contact with Big-brother-guy before you both roll your eyes.

You really have no idea why you’re calling them Elbow-guy and Big-brother- guy when you know exactly who they are. Calling them by their names just seems… weird? Like “Nico” and “Taylor” seems too familiar, but “Mr. Hischier” and “Mr. Hall” seems oddly formal, y’know? Probably best to stick with Elbow-guy and Big-brother-guy.

“I’m really sorry,” Elbow-guy says, and he seems sincere, except now all you can think about is how weird it feels to call him Elbow-guy.

“It’s fine, dude,” you reassure him again, “It’s not like you did it on purpose. You’re not like some serial face-elbower.” You mean it as a joke, but his face seems conflicted. Big-brother-guy laughs, though, so that’s good.

“Yeah, you caught us,” he jokes back, “We’re out prowling the bars, looking for just the right face to elbow.” You smile and, not one to be outdone, continue the ribbing.

“I mean, there are a lot of factors,” you say, faux-serious, “The nose itself, the person it’s attached to, the way they sound when they have to breathe out of their mouth…”

“Oh yeah,” Big-brother-guy grins in that big-brother way, “How fun they’ll be to walk to Urgent Care-- how close you are to an Urgent Care-- it’s a whole thing.” The two of you laugh, yours infinitely worse than his with the whole ‘breathing through your mouth’ thing. Elbow-guy looks annoyed but also like he’s trying not to laugh when he mutters “I hate you” under his breath. You and Big-brother laugh again.

“Man, first you break my nose, now you say you hate me?” you try to act offended, but you can’t quite stop smiling, “I’ve been taken to dinner for less.” You weren’t kidding when you said the place was right up the street, the sign already burning bright a scant few yards away.

“Well,” you stop in front of the door, “This is my stop. Thanks for the company.” You give a little mock-salute and turn to open the door. You hear the two of them talking in hushed tones behind you, but you let the door shut them out and head toward the check-in.

The secretary is kind enough, definitely tired but not outright nasty. She takes your ID and insurance card and scans them, going about the usual song and dance of figuring out coverage and co-pays and all that bullshit. You hand over your card for the co-pay, idly weighing the pros and cons of carrying more cash on you, like you have a thousand times before. She instructs you to take a seat “with your boyfriend”, which is super weird, until you turn around and see Big-brother is still there. You don’t bother correcting her before you go plop down in the chair to his left.

“You like sports?” he asks, just too intentionally casual. You laugh, even though the situation isn’t particularly funny.

“I’m not gonna, like, sue him,” you assure him, kind of loving just how much he fits the Big Brother role.

“Yeah, everyone always thinks that,” he says, trying for smarmy, probably, but ending up bitter. You would wonder how often people try to bring up litigation against players, but it’s really none of your business, and you have enough to worry about already, so you push it out of your mind.

“Dude,” you sigh, “I have insurance, so I don’t need help with bills. I’m kind of trying to make my own name for my own work, so a scandal is pretty much the opposite of what I want. Also, I’m not an asshole. Your boy is safe.” A tech opens a door from the opposite side and calls your name, so you stand and walk backward toward the door.

“Go back to the bar,” you say, “Have a drink for me.” You turn as soon as you’re finished talking, not keen on also running into something tonight.

The exam goes about as well as it can. Your nose is broken, but nothing too severe. They bandage it and a kindly-looking woman comes in and asks you all sorts of questions about who you live with and how they treat you and all about your “boyfriend”. You just grin and bear it, reminding yourself to be glad this process exists for those who need it, and to be grateful that you don’t need it.

Once you’re all wrapped up and ready to go, you stop by the check-out counter, which is just the back side of the check-in counter. At this time of night on a weekday, it’s the same secretary, and she talks excitedly about “those sweet boys” who have apparently left you flowers, which, where the hell did they get a bouquet of carnations at midnight on a Tuesday? The more important part seems to be the slip of paper tucked among the petals, with nothing but a phone number and the message “call me any time :) -Nico”. You roll your eyes and shove the paper in your jeans pocket with no intention of ever using it, but can’t bring yourself to toss the flowers.

#nico hischier imagine #nhl imagines #ri #andis coping mechanism #nhischier

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kennasnowwrites-blog · 6 years

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Changing History Part 1: “This must be... college?”

Pairings: Sean x MC (Taylor)

Rating: PG

Word count: 1517

Summary: After the events on the island, Taylor decides to give herself a real, normal life, while also giving into Rourke’s demands. Now, during her first week of college, she tries to get the gang back together. But it seems more difficult than what she had in mind.

Author’s note: Hello my friends! As you can see i have started a series about the ES gang! This story takes place if you pick the first ending, Rourke’s ending. I hope y’all enjoy it and hopefully I’ll be able to come out with parts weekly! ~Kenna

“Tell me about your summer,” Diego said as he met up with Taylor. She couldn’t help but smile at the question. Like he didn’t know. But really, he had no clue of the last several months that landed them into their summer.

“Endless,” she told him as she bit her lip and thought. She looked at him with a wide smile and he returned it back as he blocked the sun from his eyes.

“Okay, now you have to tell me,” he gushed and she gave him a laugh.

“I don’t think you’ll believe me,” she told him, as they broke apart for a second as a football player walked in between them. “But okay. It all started when our plane got his by this massive storm. Do you know what ball lightning is?” he shook his head. “It’s this weather phenomenon. Pretty rare but pretty terrifying. Anyway, we were in this small plane and all of a sudden we were surrounded by ball lightning, the plane shook, the engines went out. It was awful.”

Taylor continued to tell her new friend her story. She changed her lost friends’ names, although not very well. She was surprised he didn’t catch on. She continued to explain all the main events—finding the hotel guests were gone, the fight between Sean and Jake “to party or to panic” she told Diego, finding Rourke in the tube, Diego getting captured, having to rescue Raj and Grace from the Vaanti, all the crazy creatures and people from different timelines meeting, Rourke’s crazy machines, the volcano exploding, Jake’s past finally catching up to him, falling out of a helicopter, traveling through space and time, and of course marrying the love her life and Diego marrying Varyyn.

“And then,” she continued as they found a place to sit on the grass as they began to do some homework. “I was able to reverse everything and restart my life. And here I am.”

“Wow,” Diego said as he took in all of the information. He didn’t quite believe her, but it also was too crazy of a story to be made up. “I kind of figured Rourke was an ass.”

Taylor laughed as she placed some sunglasses on her face. After her long tale it was of course the one thing her would say. “Told you that you wouldn’t believe me.”

Diego chuckled as he opened a used textbook with scribbles on the inside cover. “Well if it is true, you must really be important to your friends.”

Taylor nodded, he has no idea.

She then asked Diego about his summer as she cracked open her own textbook and began to read to herself. He told her about his vacation to Miami with his family, his graduation gift he told her. It wasn’t very exciting, and he didn’t end up married by the end of the trip. It was more lowkey than their trip to La Huerta. She nodded along to his story, too caught up I her own head to really pay attention. The conversation died down and they continued to work on homework as students around them threw Frisbees, tossed balls, and worked out on the grass. A Frisbee landed a few inches from Taylor and she jumped slightly at it. She squinted as she looked up to see a tall man that stood over her.

“Sean!” she gasped. She had seen him earlier, from afar, but was too scared to say hi to anything. She kept herself from jumping up on him as she grabbed the Frisbee.

“Do I… know you?” he asked with a little bit of surprise.

Right, she thought, I’m the only one that remembers.

“Uh…” she said as she tried to think of an excuse. “Yeah, aren’t you on the football team as the backup quarterback? Number five? Right?”

“Ah right,” he said with a chuckle and his signature smile. “I better get used to people recognizing me I guess. It’s nice to meet you…”

“Taylor!” she finished his sentence and stuck her hand out to shake his.

“Taylor,” he said with another smile and he took her hand. “I feel like I used to know a Taylor.”

“Well there’s a lot of us,” she joked. “Oh, this is my friend Diego.”

Diego gave Sean a small wave from where he sat, his hand covered his eyes from the sun. Sean nodded at him and stuck out his hand for him to shake. Taylor watched, her eyes memorized. He was still Sean. A little younger, his style and hair slightly different, but he was still the same man she fell in love with on the island. She caught herself and cleared her throat. She handed him the Frisbee.

“Sorry, you probably just wanted this back,” he took it and thanked her.

“I have to get back to my friends,” he said as he threw a nod toward his three friends that stood and waited. One of them was Craig. His hair was different; it was a bowl cut instead of his signature up-sweep and gel look. He also wore glasses instead of his contacts. It was weird to see him with such a different look from his normal, letterman jacket attire. She began to wave at him before she stopped herself and brought her attention back to Sean. “I’ll see you around.”

He gave her one last glance before he ran back and threw the Frisbee in Craig’s direction. Her stomach fluttered, it was technically the first time she saw him. It reminded her of the first time she saw him on the plane. Thanks to Diego’s help since he did push her into the isle.

“You are so crushing on the soon be QB,” Diego said that snapped Taylor out of her daze.

“I’m going to marry him,” she said with pride. She did marry him once, she could do it again.

Diego snorted. “Yeah and I’m going to come out to my parents.” He paused. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

Taylor placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him, “I know. It’s okay. We can gush about all the hot football players.”

Diego blushed and tucked his head as he continued to write a few math problems on his graph paper. But Taylor continued to look around the busy quad. She saw a flash of red and saw Quinn speed walk across the grass with her phone pressed to her ear. She caught Taylor’s eye for just a moment and Taylor watched as a hint of recognition ran across her face. Her pace slowed slightly before she darted her head away and continued to walk. Taylor sighed to herself. It was going to be harder to get the group back together than she thought.

“Okay, step one,” she sighed to herself in her dorm room. She had the door shut tight and made sure Zahra had headphones in. She was pretty sure she didn’t take them out even when she showered. “Let’s see if I can get into one class with everyone.”

She tapped away on her computer, she tried to find some way to get ahold of everyone’s schedules. She shot a quick text to Diego. It would be easy for her to get his schedule, all she had to do was ask. Her phone pinged a few seconds later with a picture of his schedule. English 102, she was in the class, just a different time. She quickly switched the time and shot him a text back.

We have English together! Crazy!

She remembered in Raj’s ember scene way back when of him, Sean, Craig, and Michelle taking Econ 105. A few taps later, and she was registered for the class. She knew she was already in a class with Grace, Aleister, and Raj, she just needed to get in a class with Estela and Quinn. She didn’t bother on trying to find a class with Zahra, she was her roomie after all. She clicked through the seemingly endless course catalog. She clicked on different classes to see if they would be something Estela or Quinn would enjoy.

She scrolled through her Facebook feed and eventually decided to stalk Quinn. She clicked on the first profile and a picture was the first thing she saw.

Posted two days ago, sixteen likes, and seven comments. Can’t wait to start classes! So excited for college!

Bingo! She posted her class schedule. She found a class that fit into her schedule and dropped another one. She could take Math 170 when her friends were together again. She tried hard to find a class with Estela but after a few Internet searches of the girl’s name, and about an hour of research, she came up with nothing. She would be the hardest to befriend, she knew that for sure.

Taylor groaned as she leaned back in her chair. She wasn’t even sure why she was doing this. It seemed silly to focus on getting the gang back together. But she felt like she had to. They were a family. And family stick together.

#endless summer #endless summer fic #changing history #es #playchoices #pb #pixelberry #sean x mc #endless summer gang #es gang

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auburnfamilynews · 5 years

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Mary Hattler/File

Where success is built from failure

War Eagle Auburn fans! Welcome back for yet another week of us all trying to make sense of where our rooting interests most benefit the Tigers. This week, we’ve got what feels like a light plate in terms of where we can serve to benefit within the SEC, with both Alabama and LSU being off prior to the Game of the Century of the Year. That being said, we’ve got some real hate to direct towards Jacksonville, Florida this weekend and a night game in Jordan-Hare to get to. With that in mind, let’s figure this out...

Ole Miss at Auburn

Normally I’d use this space to go down a laundry list of reasons why we all hate Ole Miss. Which, if we’re being honest, sure we all hate everybody we play to a certain extent, but hating Ole Miss requires a lot of work that I just don’t have in me. Also because our losses to Ole Miss typically come on some of the more forgettable seasons in Auburn Football history. Except one.

On November 8, 2003 the Ole Miss Rebels, ranked 20th in the country came to the Plains with a quarterback by the name of Eli Manning in tow, a national television audience from CBS, and hopes for an SEC Championship. Meanwhile Auburn, ranked in the preseason at #6 in the country, came into the game at 5-3, attempting to salvage a potentially lost year and stay hopeful for a chance at getting to Atlanta. This was set to be a tremendous showdown between the greatest Ole Miss quarterback in a generation (literally) and an Auburn offense that had found some rhythm after an 0-2 start, and featured a fierce backfield of Carnell “Cadillac” Williams, Ronnie Brown, and Brandon Jacobs.

As the game went back and forth into the 4th quarter, Auburn had pulled ahead 20-17 until less than 3 minutes to go when Ole Miss punched it through to take a 24-20 lead. 3 plays into Auburn’s next, and last drive, a sophomore receiver named Ben Obomanu caught a screen pass and raced 51 yards to the 10 yard line. Auburn was within striking distance with plenty of time and a chance to contend deep into November (somehow) in the SEC West.

3 plays later, on 3rd and goal, a lesser player...no, a lesser person, would have let this moment define their career. Ben Obomanu had dropped a wide open ball in the south end zone that would’ve been a huge momentum clinching game for a team in desperate need of it. Sadly, the player responsible for getting us into position to win the game was at the center of blame for why we lost.

Obomanu grew up a few minutes after that moment, choosing to face the media and take ownership over what happened, like someone with maturity beyond their years. Any feeling of finger pointing in the locker room wouldn’t stand up to the integrity and character that Obomanu showed that day.

My question to you all is this...when you think of Ben Obomanu, is the Ole Miss game the first thing that comes to your mind? Because I have a few moments that far outweigh him coming up short that night in Jordan-Hare.

I think about a screen pass early against Alabama a few weeks later, letting the Tide know they were never going to have hope at momentum as we took out a season of frustrations on a hapless Crimson Tide. The hurt and pain from weeks earlier in the south end zone had been redeemed.

I think of the wide receiver who never got the picture painting like Courtney Taylor against LSU in 2004, but managed to lead the undefeated and uncrowned 2004 Auburn Tigers in TD receptions

I think about opening the floodgates on the opening drive of the 2005 Iron Bowl with a TD reception. I think about a flawlessly executed reverse go 45 yards to pay dirt, giving him his second score of that wonderful afternoon. Both of those touchdowns being celebrated in the south end zone served to further distance any shred of failures on that same part of grass 2 years prior.

I think of the Selma native getting drafted in the 7th round of the NFL Draft by the Seattle Seahawks and lasting the better part of 7 seasons in the NFL.

I think of the man that upon retirement chose to go back to school to work and ultimately obtain his law degree.

I think about the guy sitting in Brother Chette’s office as I walked into it, a freshman, non-student athlete, hurting and in need of encouragement and going to one of the few people on Auburn’s campus who had a personal relationship with me and cared. Brother Chette was on the phone when I walked in. And there was Ben, a real, legitimate leader in the locker room and FCA, with a smile on his face as genuine as I’d ever seen. Ben had no reason to care about me or talk to me. He was a senior football player who I viewed as a legend. And yet there was this humble kid from Selma, just shooting the breeze without a care in the world with a broken, depressed, and lost kid trying to figure too much out all at once. I think about that act of kindness most.

So on this 2019 version of Ole Miss week, let’s remember Ben Obomanu, a sophomore who put us in position and then made a mistake. Let’s remember that a moment in time doesn’t have to be the memory we hold closest by the time this brief moment in the players’ lives are through. And let’s believe that for every painful moment we had in Gainesville and Baton Rouge in October, that the defining moment of this team is in front of them. They haven’t played their best game...YET.

War Damn Eagle.

(Also if you’d like to read more detail about that 2003 Ole Miss game, please go read this excellent piece from Wesley Sinor a few years back.)

Florida vs. Georgia (Jacksonville)

Ah Jacksonville. The most spacious parking lot in America. This is a super fun game to go to if you hate both of these teams, even if you’re dressed in a Gene Chizik inspired shacket!

Even if it means you end up losing a pain of sunglasses to the Atlantic all for the sake of a joke. :(

ANYWAY...common sense, decency, and the downright ethical and moral thing to do in this game is to pull for Georgia...to absolutely get their ass kicked. I know I know...we all hate Dan Mullen for somehow getting a Mississippi State problem to somehow become an Auburn issue in 2010. And that loss a few weeks back still stings. And there’s even some logic in wanting to be the ones to ruin Georgia’s season by handing them their second loss, all but ensuring they miss a chance at the national championship for (as of 11/1/19 at 5:03 PM) the 14,182nd day...not including roughly 23 hours and 49 minutes.

I mean, sure! That sounds great! But let’s think about this...what if we don’t end up winning that game? You really want that kind of pressure on this bunch right now? Wouldn’t it also be pretty great to see a deflated Georgia walk into Jordan-Hare with nothing to play for and not a care in the world because of some false sense of entitlement that they’ve had for 14,182 days, 23 hours, and 51 (now) minutes? I want to watch this team get buried, dug up, kicked, and buried again.

GO GATORS!

Seriously, don’t pull for Georgia. These people deserve bad things, and they deserve them all the time.

Mississippi State at Arkansas

Y’all I’m gonna be honest with you and say that you can go ahead and root for whoever you want here...just know that one or both of these coaches will probably not be coaching at either of these schools soon. For that reason the comedy of it seems like State winning and maybe getting their fanbase hopeful is the best way to crush a soul, since Arkansas has been numbed to all of this for a while.

Hail State?

UAB at Tennessee

I picked Tennessee to win this game because they’re playing better. They should be able to outlast a C-USA team, right? But OH MAN am I pulling hard for the Blazers here. There’s few things that would make me happier than seeing UAB find a way to beat Tennessee. And CAN YOU IMAGINE THE T-SHIRTS IF THEY WERE TO DO IT BY MORE POINTS THAN THE TIDE?!? Please let it be so.

GO BLAZERS!

Have a different perspective on where our rooting interests lie this weekend or want to throw in some games of your own that you have some personal hate invested into? Feel free to share in the comments section below!

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/11/2/20944319/rootability-index-vol-4

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otisoverturf · 5 years

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Prism Battle League: The World’s First LGBTQ Battle Rap League

Despite the societal change towards progressive thought when it comes to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender+ communities, Hip Hop remains one of the toughest industries to break into as an LGBTQ+ artist. While the presence of LGBTQ+ musicians like Taylor Bennett and Frank Ocean has aided in encouraging progress, a gatekeeper-like barrier still persists. For as long as it existed, the Hip Hop industry has been known to only make space for the heterosexual male and even more recently, female. As such, it is only through the arrival and efforts of individuals who dared to challenge the established narrative, that we are seeing such an effective change today. While efforts to create space for LGBTQ+ communities continues to be a challenging task, Bronx battle rapper Sara Kana is doing her part by launching the Hip-Hop centered LGBTQ+ platform Prism Battle League.

Prism is a battle rap league which mainly caters to emcees from the LGBTQ+ community. The New York-based initiative was uprooted by its creator, Sara Kana also known as “The God Mother” who made the announcement via a video-blog on her Youtube page back in 2016. The movement officially made its historic debut on January 9th, 2016 and has since successfully served as a platform which empowers the voices of the otherwise underrepresented and silenced communities. The organization operates with strong consideration of the LGBTQ+ movement, hence numerous battles coincide with related events, including Pride Week.

While other rap battle leagues such as Queen of the Ring previously created space for members of the LGBTQ+ community by having several openly gay lesbian battlers, Prism sets itself apart by solely dedicating their platform to LGBTQ+ folks. In all, the concept is refreshing and incredibly important to the culture. And since it’s debut in 2016, the platform has accumulated a notable roster of talented individuals with a unique contribution to the art of battle rap.

Below, we’ll break down the Prism battle rap artists you can expect to see this year.

Ty White

Ty White has earned the alias of Mr. Limelight for a reason. The emcee holds a consistent streak at Prism. His slick bars slowly but surely destroy his opponents’ ego while feeding his own confidence. Ty’s glistening flow allows him to move through the room as he delivers his bars. It is not uncommon for him to leave his opponents shook, his lyrical output conveys back-to-back attacks which double up and nail his opponents. And just when things settle down, the rapper quickly delivers an unexpected heavy-hitter from under his sleeve that unravels his opponent along with the applauding screams of the audience.

Key bar: “Knee to the face, we pop up, causing breakouts, speak to me clean and clear in this race cause this pro active and coming for whiteheads, something you gotta face.”

40 B.A.R.R.S

Rap battler 40 B.A.R.R.S has a stronghold on the game and remains indubitably one of the battle rap’s queens. Hailing all the way from Boston, 40 B.A.A.R.S not only accounts for her opponent’s lyrical abilities in her responses but also targets their personal characters by way of potent bars. That is, bars which riddle the emcee’s opponents with overwhelming self-doubt they likely dwell on the very same night. Moreover, 40 ensures to defend herself from her opponents’ attacks by detailing facts from the rumors about her. Though, do not let her personal introspection have you believing the next few bars won’t be right back to come for your neck.

Key bar:“Hit your head it’s like a tumor in your melon, bullets will spread even faster than them rumors you be telling.”

Couture

Couture is a seriously talented and strategic battle rapper. She targets her nemesis at the core, as her bars hit the guts and leave a lyrical mess. The Rhode Island-bred rapper’s lyrics are ingenious, intricate and particularly catered to attack her opponent’s weaknesses, whatever they might be– from their looks to their socioeconomic status. Couture will manage to breed insecurities surrounding her opponent’s appearance, only to return with a streak of threats that’ll leave them her foe shaking. The female emcee's content includes creative and clever schemes that do not plan on beating around the bush anytime soon. Her rounds are structured, eloquent and delivered with a noticeable composure which affirms Couture’s status as a silent killer.

Key bar: “He said I got 40 for you, I said thousand? He said no, 40 B.A.R.R.S, I said oh, the ghetto b*tch that lives in housing.“

Melato Black

Melato Black’s powers can be found in her pen. The rapper’s lyrical subject matter hints at the Jersey rapper’s high intellect and the latter consistently shows through her sharp-edged delivery. The emcee’s charisma and composure sustain the intensity of her blows throughout the battle. Furthermore, the steady use of precise wording and complex wordplay reveals Melato’s ability to crush those who dare stand before her.

Key bar:“So my objective, balm her, I’m on her, you get a sleeping bag if it gets intense, sticks smoking at the top, is it making sense (incense)?”

Kazzy

This battle rapper knows how to put on a show all while delivering some tough lyrical blows. In his clear objective to destroy his opponent’s self-esteem, Kazzy keeps it light and comical which further emphasizes his reign as one of Prism’s best battle league rappers. With ease, the emcee continues to wow through each round by maintaining a succinct delivery and untouchable sequence.

Key bar:“Well, they set you up cause they made you the pilot and they knew as I blew up, you would die, that’s a kamikaze. I’m still giving you shots behind each bar, those are kamikaze. And if I get upset, there’s no way you can calm a Kazzy.”

Jericho

DC reppin’ emcee Jericho’s lines are brutally honest and slightly disrespectful. And in battle, opponents easily find themselves crushed under the palms of Jericho’s heavy lyrical weight. To note, despite his status as a newcomer on the battle rap scene, the artist continues to go hard and bring the heat to each round. When he steps away from bouncing rhymes off his opponent’s head, as usual, he flaunts unmovable confidence displayed through his witty and paced output.

Key bar: “B*tch I’m a shapeshifter, y’all know I’m a pharmacy technician, well yeah I’m about to change my profession to a gravedigger, and that’s a plot that J Munn in and y’all [Swisher & Cheshire] bout to lie in with him. Y’all probably hit the same tune like y’all riding with him and word of advice to anybody vibing with em, y’all can all get killed [kilt] like Scottish women.”

Swisher

Staten Island’s Swisher distinguishes himself with his intimidating demeanor. Moreover, the rapper’s disrespectful haymakers regularly leave his opponents flushed, embarrassed. The nonchalant rapper knows how to hit his opponents with the right words– the kind that will slowly build up and destroy their confidence. Swisher’s fearlessness is backed up by plenty of heavy bars which he fires one after the other with an incredibly unique delivery that sets the emcee apart from other battle rappers. Evidently, the runner up has earned the title of battle rap OG at Prism for a reason. His rhythm and style is one which attracts opponents to try and take on the dire task of challenging him on the battleground.

Key bar:“I done told y’all I am not the one, two, three or four, but I am the one to let off three from the fours.”

Cheshire

Kansas City’s Cheshire is indubitably the king of smooth and nonchalant wordplay. As far as lyrics go, the rapper makes use of everything from cultural references to his opponent’s physical appearance, to destroy whatever shred of confidence they previously had. The rapper is calm and composed throughout each round, offering fewer gestures than most battle rappers. Yet the latter is understandable considering there is not much noise or extravagance needed when your bars carry such thunder.

Key bar: “I have you singing Star since you think you a pop b*tch, pop b*tch, or you can get them bald heads like Britney, or you can die over the lines like Whitney.”

J Munn

Ohio-bred battle rapper J Munn’s delivery remains a comical spectacle as the battle rapper thoroughly gets into his bars. However, don’t let his performance distract you from taking in the heat he spits. Straight fire comes out of J Munn’s mouth and easily sets his opponent ablaze. The wit of J Munn’s lyrical content takes serious jabs at his rival’s core. Each bar is glazed with a touch of disrespectfulness and humor that leaves J Munn’s opponents both flustered and uncomfortable. The artist engagingly taps into the art of battle rap by keeping all eyes on him every time he leans into a round. When J Munn aims, he shoots to kill.

Key bar:“You ain’t a no f*cking thug, I take your diamonds, stripped a bitch like player’s club.”

Ryan Eastlake

Carrying the alias of The King of the Lightskins, Ryan Eastlake never fails to offer both tea-spilling bars and surprises that leave his opponents shook. The battle rapper’s delivery reeks of cockiness which indubitably remains well-learned once he opens his mouth and sets his nemesis on fire. The emcee is at ease with wordplay. Indeed, Ryan Eastlake remains one of Prism’s strongest battle rappers who continues to wow.

Key bar: “I came to bury you in Prism like King Tut.”

The post Prism Battle League: The World’s First LGBTQ Battle Rap League appeared first on Social Juicebox.

Prism Battle League: The World’s First LGBTQ Battle Rap League published first on https://socialjuicebox.com/

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junker-town · 7 years

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2021 NBA player rankings, Nos. 30-21: These players will be borderline All-Stars in 4 years

That means a mix of established players and some total unknowns, with little in between.

We’re now into All-Star territory on our Top 101 of 2021 NBA countdown. As such, a few of us went nuts over blue-chippers with potential, while a few others went back to good ol’ reliable NBA productivity. The end result is a nice mix of players that seemingly rank way above the previous batch on this list.

Now is when this list gets serious. Now is where our reputations, such as they even exist, will be judged.

30. Jimmy Butler

Age in 2021: 31 (10 seasons)

CHRIS GREENBERG: Jimmy Butler is not a one-trick pony. He was one of just six NBA players in the top-15 in offensive AND defensive win shares last season. The others? Kawhi, Westbrook, Curry, Durant, and Giannis. Butler is a 27-year-old horse who will lead a group of young stallions in Minnesota.

OK, I’m out of equine metaphors, but Butler is not out of years. If Tom Thibodeau doesn’t break him, Butler will keep working hard, improve his two-way game, and make us silly for letting him slip so far. He’ll be just 31 years old in 2021. That’s younger than LeBron James right now.

Everyone else’s reactions

ERIC GOLDMAN, CANIS HOOPUS: If the Wolves have three legit top 30 guys -- Andrew Wiggins and Karl-Anthony Towns are still on the board — I'm not sure I'll know what to do with myself.

TOM ZILLER: I can’t believe Butler went this low. I almost took him at No. 21. When it looked like he’d be there at 31, I was dumbfounded. So, uh, good pick.

MATT ELLENTUCK: Letting Butler slip this low is one of our collective worst crimes in this draft.

MIKE PRADA: I was deciding between Butler and the No. 25 guy on this list, and it was very difficult.

JOHN MEYER, CANIS HOOPUS: I don't care what his rating is in 2021. I just hope the Wolves will have figured out how to clone him by then.

RICKY O’DONNELL: Still not over how stupid the Bulls are.

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: I just want an argyle sock monkey.

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29. Rudy Gobert

Age in 2021: 29 (8 seasons)

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: The risk of taking a big man in these drafts is their susceptibility to injury, and Rudy Gobert is equally at risk. As long as he stays healthy, however, he has the physical tools to become the league’s most imposing defensive center over the next few years. With that title, how could he not be a top-30 player.

Everyone else’s reactions

TOM ZILLER: Kristian with a shockingly sane pick!

WHITNEY MEDWORTH: There’s a first for everything.

MATT ELLENTUCK: Fam, he doesn’t play for the Knicks though.

MYCHAL LOWMAN, SLC DUNK: Being rated at No. 29 in 2021 is no small feat for Gobert, as he will be pushing the end of his prime at age 29. We think he’ll have anchored the Jazz for the lastfour4 years as their main star alongside phenom Donovan Mitchell on the outside.

TIM CATO: My only concern is this: headed into the 2013 season, there were five centers in the top-25, according to one list. Those five were Dwight Howard, Marc Gasol, Joakim Noah, Al Horford, and Roy Hibbert. Two have fallen off completely, another two have clearly declined, and only Gasol is hanging onto his same level of production.

The career of a center can die a swift, quick death, and Gobert already has a history of injuries. Gobert remaining in the top-30 come 2021 is far from certain.

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28. Andrew Wiggins

Age in 2021: 26 (7 seasons)

WHITNEY MEDWORTH: Wiggins will still only be 26 in 2021. Assuming that playing for Thibodeau doesn’t make his body feel like he’s actually 36, he’ll be just fine. Playing alongside a veteran in Jimmy Butler won’t hurt his game. It’ll only help it.

Everyone else’s reactions

JOHN MEYER, CANIS HOOPUS: I really wish you guys would have doubled down on your 2013 prediction (No. 8) just to get the people going.

ERIC GOLDMAN, CANIS HOOPUS: Sweet, he's going to learn to play defense!

MIKE PRADA: I’m worried about Wiggins. We know he can score, but he continues to show a troubling disinclination to do much else despite his immense physical gifts. Maybe Butler helps, or maybe his intense demeanor clashes with Wiggins’ mild-mannered nature like oil and water. Glen Taylor’s request that Wiggins commit to improving before handing him a maximum contract was patronizing as hell, but it says something that Taylor believed he needs to say those things, does it not?

It’s possible the above paragraph looks dumb in four years and Wiggins reaches his full potential. Maybe he needs tough love after all. I hope so!

But this is a big season for Wiggins, and I’m not sure the conditions are all set up for him to thrive.

TOM ZILLER: Glen Taylor hired David Kahn. I don’t think we need to defer to his basketball expertise. I think Thibodeau and Butler will be excellent for Wiggins: he’s going to continue to be challenged to improve every day.

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: He needs to step up.

27. Bradley Beal

Age in 2021: 27 (9 seasons)

TIM CATO: How the hell is Bradley Beal only 23? I swear he’s been in the league since the Napoleonic Era.

There’s injuries to consider, sure, but we’re all encouraged by his career year posted last season: career highs in points per game, field goal percentage, made threes, and assists, all while keeping his turnovers (2.0) exactly the same as the previous two seasons. That’s a stellar sign for his future.

Everyone else’s reactions

TOM ZILLER: What a difference one healthy year makes. There’s no way he would have gone this high last summer.

MIKE PRADA: You mean, “what a difference playing for a real coach makes.” Scott Brooks got Beal to ditch Randy Wittman’s bizarre long two fascination and dramatically upped Beal’s three-point and free-throw rates. Funny how a sweet shooter and slithery penetrator starts to look better when he’s put in a position to take the right kind of shots.

TOM ZILLER: Well, also when he’s not in street clothes. Wittman wasn’t Tonya Hardinging him out there.

MIKE PRADA: We sure about that?

CHRIS GREENBERG: Just think, by 2021 there will be even fewer people who will understand a Tonya Harding reference. Gillooly!

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: Not better than C.J. McCollum.

26. Dennis Smith Jr.

Age in 2021: 23 (4 seasons)

KOFIE YEBOAH: Dennis Smith Jr. has superstar potential. The athleticism is crazy and his aggressive nature around the rim paired with that athleticism will be a sight to behold in the league for years to come.

People may be concerned about his health, and that’s understandable. However, Smith Jr. was excellent in Summer League, and that was just a sample of what he can do in the years to come.

Everyone else’s reactions

DOYLE RADER, MAVS MONEYBALL: Even though Smith Jr. is often mentioned in the Rookie of the Year discussion, this is an extremely high ranking, as he has yet to play a single minute of NBA basketball.

TIM CATO: Point guards take time to develop, which is my only concern about this rankings. Everything else, pending health, points to Smith being so, so good. He’s not just athletic, he’s wow-are-we-witnessing-evolution-right-now explosive. He’s a gifted passer with a more-than-passable jump shot. The defensive instincts are there, though — like many rookies — there is still work that can be done. In a sea of tall point guards this draft, Smith may seem short ... but he’s still 6’3!

Maybe he’s still developing in 2021, but I’m convinced he’ll end up somewhere very high on this list.

MIKE PRADA: Yeah, let’s slllooowwww down on these young point guards. It usually takes a while for them to make their mark.

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: Kofie drank the juice, y’all.

MATT ELLENTUCK: LET THE YOUNG POINT GUARDS GROW.

KOFIE YEBOAH: THE FUTURE IS HERE, MATT!

TOM ZILLER: For the record, this was the point in the draft where I knew I’d be getting wonderful value on players currently in the 26-29 age range.

25. Klay Thompson

Age in 2021: 31 (10 seasons)

MIKE PRADA: If you’re tall and can shoot the lights out, you will age beautifully. Extra points for being a terrific defender, too. The question is whether Thompson will achieve this ranking by remaining the Warriors’ most underappreciated star or by balling out on his own team.

Everyone else’s reactions

TOM BEVILACQUA, GOLDEN STATE OF MIND: By the year 2021, Klay will be about the same age Ray Allen was when he was traded to Boston. Allen probably ranked just outside the top 25 of NBA players at that time, but Klay is a better defensive player than Allen was, so I’d say this seems about right.

TIM CATO: To put it in memespeak, Reggie Miller -> upgrade button -> Klay Thompson. I’d love to see him run the show somewhere before his prime is over.

WHITNEY MEDWORTH: I’m with Tim here. I think he may take a chance on himself in free agency in 2018 and I hope he does. For as much of a green light Thompson has in Golden State, I’d like to see it get even greener on another team.

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: I don’t think Thompson has takeover ability. He’s the league’s best two-way shooting guard — the ultimate role player. Not sure he goes higher than No. 25 no matter who’s around him.

TIM CATO: Ain’t no role player who ever dropped 60 points in 29 minutes.

WHITNEY MEDWORTH: On 11 dribbles.

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: In a system that benefits him, with shooters spacing the floor and selfless teammates actively finding the open man. Take all that away and what happens?

KOFIE YEBOAH: This happens.

BRADY KLOPFER, GOLDEN STATE OF MIND: This feels right to me, but I could easily see him being a good bit lower. Klay isn’t a phenomenal athlete by any stretch of the imagination, so any hit he takes on that front could have a pretty large impact. It wouldn’t shock me if he’s a decidedly average defensive player by the time he’s in his 30s, and if he stays in GS for the next few years, his offensive game may not develop much further.

Then again, he’s one of the greatest shooters of all time and knows his limitations as well or better than any star in the game.

24. DeMarcus Cousins

Age in 2021: 30 (11 seasons)

MATT ELLENTUCK: DeMarcus Cousins has defied odds by becoming a legitimate three-point shooter at 36 percent in his seventh season in the league. He nearly doubled his attempts from the season before, and in his first five seasons took less than one per game.

Cousins knows how to adapt to survive as a big man in this league, and I have no doubt he’ll continue to make the necessary adjustments to stay among the top centers in the game.

Everyone else’s reactions

OLEH KOSEL, THE BIRD WRITES: Probably easier to just flip a coin. Additional missed postseasons could effectively kill off Boogie's in-the-best-shape-of-his-life alter-ego completely and allow malcontent DMC to reign supreme.

On a more positive note, the Fire-and-Ice relationship with Anthony Davis and subsequent playoff trips give way to a maturer Cousins, one who uses his vast array of skills for the greater good of his team to justify a top-25 ranking in four years.

MIKE PRADA: How many teams will Cousins play for between now and 2021?

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: Think the better question is how many wins will Boogie have between now and 2021?

CHRIS GREENBERG: More Boogie, please.

TOM ZILLER: No comment.

MIKE PRADA: All seriousness, Boogie’s offensive evolution ain’t the issue. It’s his defense and conditioning, neither of which has ever been up to par for the new NBA as of yet. Plus, there’s all the other stuff.

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23. Luka Doncic

Age in 2021: 22 (3 seasons)

RICKY O’DONNELL: I’m buying the hype on Doncic, the 17-year-old Slovenian wunderkind who could be the first pick in the next NBA draft, for two reasons: his productivity and his skill level.

He’s already one of the best players in one of the best leagues in the world during a time when his American peers are in high school. He’s also a 6’8 point guard who can shoot, pass, and finish while playing the game with a rare creativity. I’ll bet on that advanced skill level over more athletic American prospects this time around.

Everyone else’s reactions

TOM ZILLER: Fran Fraschilla is going to swell to twice his normal size talking about Doncic next June at the draft.

MIKE PRADA: Been a lot of fun watching him in Eurobasket, but this feels too soon for him to be an all-star caliber player. Put him in the top 10 on the 2025 list.

MATT ELLENTUCK: You lost me at “the 17-year-old ...”

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: I don’t know much about this kid, so I’m just gonna nod in agreement.

CHRIS GREENBERG: Considering where we’ve got REDACTED, I guess, this, maybe, makes sense. Either way, I’m here for the 6’8 point guards.

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22. Myles Turner

Age in 2021: 25 (6 seasons)

ZITO MADU: At just 21 years old, he’s already one of the best shot blockers in the league and the rare big man who can shoot threes, at least at a respectable level. He has a lot to improve on the offensive end and defending the post, but with such a great foundation and the spotlight on him now with Paul George, I expect for him to steadily improve.

Everyone else’s reactions

CAITLIN COOPER, INDY CORNROWS: Prime-age stretch 5s aren't going to suddenly depreciate in value by 2021, so there could be room for Myles Turner in the Top-25 somewhere behind Joel Embiid, Karl-Anthony Towns, Nikola Jokic, and Kristaps Porzingis if his then fully developed frame is less apt to shy away from contact as the key cog within what is hopefully a more modern and imaginative offense.

MIKE PRADA: This is asking a hell of a lot from Turner. I know Pacers fans are desperate for a face of the franchise that embraces them, but we’re talking about him being a perennial all-star if he’s this high. It’s possible, but I would’ve taken the safer route and picked him several spots lower.

I worry the absence of George will simply raise expectations too much.

TOM ZILLER: This is going to be a very interesting season for Turner. I’m a little concerned about how much his guards can help him develop.

WHITNEY MEDWORTH: GREAT PICK, ZITO. I’m serious. I love this pick.

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21. Markelle Fultz

Age in 2021: 23 (4 seasons)

You may now realize that though many prospects from the 2017 draft class have been selected, an auspicious name has not yet come up. That is disrespect. I know my name is a bad word in some parts of Philly (despite my unrelenting Dion Waiters boosterism) but that is disrespect I cannot allow to stand.

Everyone else’s reactions

TIM CATO: Just throwing this out there: I’ve talked to a surprising number of people within the NBA who think Fultz will never be anything other than an empty stats all-star on a bad team. I don’t think I agree, but it’s worth noting.

MIKE PRADA: Do they all work for the Boston Celtics?

TIM CATO: Yes. (OK, no, but it seems clear to me that Boston had the same concerns.)

CHRIS GREENBERG: With Simmons starting at point for Philly, this just seems kind of high for a backup. Right?

TOM ZILLER: Oh, my Shammgod, the disrespect! You all should probably delete Twitter from your phones now.

KRISTIAN WINFIELD: Lonzo Ball will be better. No disrespect, Fultz. You’re dope, too.

More reading material

INTRO | FULL LIST | TOP 100 OF 2017 | HOW WE DID IN 2013 | SNUBS | 101-91 | 90-81 | 80-71 | 70-61 | 60-51 | 50-41 | 40-31 | 30-21 | 20-11 | 10-1 | THE CASES FOR NO. 1

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