Xisuma is like dream in ways; admin, green, mask. Why not make a fic about that? When the reader goes to HC after DSMP, X falls in love with them, but reader is scared of him because of his similarity to dream. He grows on them though, and then love <3333333 You’re scar writings always make my day btw pls keep them coming! <3
‧₊ BRUTAL
PAIRING: C!Xisumavoid x GN!Reader
SYNOPSIS: Healing what’s broken is hard work, but some people are worth the effort.
WARNINGS: Language, self depreciation, implied/referenced violence, implied/referenced abusive relationships, implied/referenced death, poor self-care, panic attacks, PTSD symptoms
A/N: GIRL HELP, I BLACKED OUT AND WHEN I WOKE UP I HAD WRITTEN FIVE THOUSAND WORDS. This is honestly the most self-indulgent thing I think I’ve ever written for you guys, so... I’m kinda exposing myself to the masses😅. I was thinking of season 8 while making this, but it’s kinda ambiguous. (Oh, and I did combine 2 requests for DSMP!Reader x Xisuma, so if you requested something similar to this, I hope you enjoy!)
There’s a certain mindset that you have to have to survive those years you had spent in your own personal hell, a certain fire that had to burn within to look at yourself in the mirror, to face the countless scars that mottled your flesh, and know the story behind each one.
It was supposed to be fun, to just… hang out and play with your friends. Pick stupid fights, prank people, and walk away still knowing that the other didn’t really hate you. Wouldn’t that have been a fucking fantasy, huh?
Now, having lived through several wars, a dictatorship, a portion of your home being blown to kingdom-come at least thrice, and a mind-controlling viny red egg thing taking over the server, such dreams were laughable, at best.
Whoever came up with the concept of limited server lives was either a sadist or didn’t fully understand the implications of how it would feel to be constantly on guard, your fight-or-flight response shot to hell from the near-permanent adrenaline rush you coasted on seemingly every moment of every day. To be fair, though, you don’t think that anyone would’ve predicted just how perverted the mechanic could become when put into the wrong hands.
Well, that wasn’t exactly true- there was one person who did. (Your hands white and shaking on the pommel of your sword, frozen in place as you watched him drive an arrow through-)
You don’t really remember how you became tangled up with Dream. You don’t really think it matters, in the grand scheme of things. However you had met, whatever you had done to become close, you had fallen for the masked man’s honey-laced words and saccharine promises, and had held his hand as he walked you straight through the gates of Hades.
There’s a certain mindset you had to have in order to live in the Dream SMP, but the moment you and the rest of the players that had managed to survive were suddenly spit back out into the World Hub with no prior warning or reason given… well, it felt as though everything you had learned over the years was suddenly useless.
Disorienting felt like too bland a word to describe the abject confusion and dawning horror you felt when it became obvious that the traumatizing events that had transpired on the SMP were, for lack of a better term, well known.
Those few visitors that Dream had whitelisted for a day or two? It turns out that they had not been quite as oblivious to the barely-contained tensions and conflict that brewed underneath the cheery façade that the admin and famous speed-runner had tried to maintain, and it hadn’t been long before word had spread that everything was not as it seemed in your server. (Trying to hold back a gag as tears flooded your eyes, the echoing sounds of explosions and screaming fuzzing out as you struggled to focus on reality-)
Based on what you overheard, though, both from other players and through the channels of knowledge that seemed to just kind of… manifest… between worlds, the actual specifics of what had happened hadn’t made their rounds yet- none of the wars, the betrayals, the horrors that you had been forced to endure (and commit).
Consequently, people seemed to mostly be focused on the fact that a whitelisted server had turned to anarchy- a phenomena that was completely unheard of in modern times, when admins were put through such a thorough vetting system before they were granted their abilities.
Dream’s status as one of the most famous players in this era was really only the cherry on top of the pie.
In some ways, having everyone know the bare minimum was worse than when you felt isolated, alone with nobody beyond a few tenuous allies at your side. The hushed murmurs that seemed to follow your every step as more and more players realized who you were, where you had come from. The eyes that seemed to scorch holes into the back of your head, even more than usual.
Even one person’s attention was enough to put you on edge, but having people traveling between servers outright stop and stare at you only made you painfully aware of just how vulnerable you were without gear. Prime- sometimes it was hard not to believe that the gods had it out for you, personally. (Maybe you deserved it-)
Despite all the attention you had received, though, receiving an invitation to join Hermitcraft was the last thing you had expected.
The group was widely known for being… well, hermits. The only time they really interacted with other people outside of their group was during MCC, the championship games in which only the most elite players were invited to compete in. Even then, they were too busy to stick around for the festivities afterward- something about how they had too many projects they all had to work on to stick around.
If you were being honest, you didn’t quite believe their excuses at first. I mean- who would have that much work to do on a world that they’d spent years in? However, after you had first been contacted by the group it had quickly become obvious that their server operation was wildly different from anything you had seen before.
They called each world they worked on a ‘season’, and they were meant to be impermanent. Every one to two years or so, they abandoned everything that they had been working on- their builds, their Redstone contraptions, their weapons and armor all left behind. Archived. Collecting dust in some long-forgotten shulker. (Gods- you couldn’t even remember the last time you had heard the term ‘shulker’, much less seen one)
Naturally, your knee-jerk reaction was: “What the fuck.”
It was… absurd. Utterly, completely insane. Nobody in their right mind would ever give up something that they had worked so hard for without a fight, especially with how rare it was to make something without it getting griefed or looted almost immediately upon its completion, sometimes even before that.
It took a hell of a lot to convince somebody to just- hand something like that over with no expectation of getting it back. But these people did, for seemingly no reason. Was it their admin that orchestrated it? Was there some kind of instability that forced them to leave? Were they just fucking crazy?
That was what was so scary to you about accepting their offer- you had absolutely no idea. About anything.
Despite how honestly fucking terrifying it was to live in the Dream SMP, you had to admit that there was at least some familiarity with how things were run. You kept to yourself and the few allies you had, trying to keep as much out of the way of the Big Bads™ as much as physically possible. You traveled light, kept your valuables close- coming home to find your house half-blown up wasn’t an unusual surprise. Nobody went to the crater that once was L’Manberg anymore, not unless they had a death wish.
Life was hard (Gasping for breath as you awoke from yet another nightmare, the sticky sensation of your sweat clinging to you feeling more like blood as his face flashed before your eyes-), but it was the same for everyone. You had been fine.
However, now you had nowhere to go. You’d been thrust from a familiar environment, albeit a hostile one, into a completely unknown situation. There was no other server that you were traveling to, no arrangements made- in essence, you were stranded.
So, despite your initial shock, that was why you found yourself accepting the offer that had been extended to you. It would be stupid not to, especially when you had nothing to lose. Not anymore.
Your first impression of the Hermitcraft server was… strange, to say the least. The admin had arranged for you to join when they switched to their newest season, so you would start off the same as everyone else in terms of resources. So, blessedly, the wealth gap was going to be far less intimidating than you had initially assumed, but- you don’t know- it was just… weird.
The first thing you were greeted with as you stepped through the hub portal was the excited chatter of multiple players, laughter as they greeted one another and fooled around while they waited for the admin to log on. It was definitely new for you to wake up at spawn and not be immediately greeted by something unpleasant- the obstacles that had been built around it in the early days of the SMP, or worse, later.
The momentary hush that settled over the group wasn’t exactly something you were used to, either, feeling your skin start to burn as several sets of eyes snapped to you, alerted to your arrival by the buzzing of their communicators. Prime- where was Tommy when you needed him?
Despite how abrasive the kid could be, spitting out insults and threats with his signature cackling voice, he was one of the first people to make you feel at home on the SMP, giving you a tour and making you laugh at his childish blustering. If he was here, you know that he would’ve made some comment about how jealous all of his wives would be at the staring. It hurt to admit it, but gods you missed the blonde. (Watching as he dragged the teen away to exile, the signature grin etched on his mask seeming to ooze with smug victory as he ripped what little the kid had left away-)
Awkwardly, you offered your greetings with a half-hearted wave, picking apart the players in front of you with guarded eyes as they each introduced each other to you eagerly.
The first thing you noticed about the group was how unconcerned they seemed to be with their own safety as they welcomed you to the server, excitedly chattering amongst themselves as well as with you about their upcoming plans for the season. That alone was enough to knock you off-kilter, but when the short parrot avian- Grian, you remembered- offhandedly gave you an invitation to build near him, you couldn't help the incredulous snort that escaped you. Honestly, did these people have no sense of self-preservation?
However, it quickly became obvious to you that, no, this was just their normal.
As you assessed the group, you became painfully aware that… well, these people had never gone through what you had. For most of them, their skin was smooth and unmarred beyond the occasional thin scar- clearly remnants of a respawn (except for that one brunette, who was mottled with them), or wounds that had been treated with health pots. Their faces were bright, practically filled with a kind of luminous joy as they interacted with one another.
Casual touches weren’t met with flinches or a hand reaching for a weapon out of reflex, nor was there any animosity between the groups that seemed to naturally form as time went on, each Hermit treating the other kindly regardless of how close they were.
These people… these people had never had to endure what you had. Couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain of what you had witnessed. (Watching as the person you loved most in the world fade away, replaced with a monster that reveled in the power he leveraged over other people)
You pointedly ignored the way that the singular tattoo of a heart inked on the inside of your wrist ached at the thought.
It was hard to ignore the way that you seemed to stick out amongst the group, the hard line of your shoulders and the wariness in your eyes setting you apart from the rest of the crowd like a wolf in a doghouse. Despite their friendly advances, the others picked up on it as well, smiles fading ever-so-slightly and bodies shifting nervously as you passed them by.
You couldn't blame them- after all, you weren’t one of them anymore. Not as you were left envious, yearning for the easy camaraderie they shared, and the affection that had been denied to you.
If you thought that was bad, though, the moment you came face-to-face with their admin was even worse. So, so must worse.
By some universal stroke of misfortune, another funny trick that the world seemed so fond of pulling on you, Xisuma was… well, the resemblance he had to him was undeniable.
A cursory glance was enough to set your heart pounding in your chest, the dark green color of his bodysuit melting into a sickening lime green within your periphery. You weren’t breathing when your eyes snapped back to him, your panic spiking at the sight of his mask before you finally, finally realized that it wasn’t who you thought it was. He wasn’t Dream.
That split-second comparison, borne out of a survival instinct honed throughout weeks, months of never knowing when the next hit would land- that was enough for your brain to start making connections.
Xisuma had an affinity for green, wearing a dark steel and silver mask that covered his entire head, barring a panel of tinted glass to see out of. While intimidating, it also served to obscure his expressions. Body language wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to read, especially in someone you had hardly even met.
The way he spoke, the confidence in which he held himself with- it was like looking at the distorted reflection of your own personal demons, memories of a blank smile making you shudder as you instinctively made yourself smaller, less noticeable. Sinking back into the shadows as he chatted with the rest of the group.
Of course, because you couldn’t have anything nice, he spotted you the moment you were distracted, having been reluctantly pulled into a conversation with Scar about something or other- cats, probably?
Whatever small amount of tension you had lost in your body returned tenfold when you felt the heat of someone’s gaze burning holes into your back, natural defenses springing up as you turned to make eye contact with him. Your hand fell to where the pommel of your sword would normally sit at your hip only for your fingers to meet air. Gods damn it all.
“Xisuma, right?” you said first, hefting the next best weapon available in your arsenal aloft- words. Giving him the opportunity to speak first would be conceding the first move to him, and you were sick and tired of having to react to other’s attacks.
Keeping your face and stance neutral, you gave him no hint that you were off-put by his sudden interest in you. You weren’t sure if you succeeded.
He inclined his head, stepping forward to offer you his hand. Wound as tight as a bowstring, you stared at it for a moment before accepting. “Yup, welcome to Hermitcraft.”
The majority of his palm was covered by a thick gauntlet made out of some kind of thick cloth (Kevlar, perhaps?), but his tan fingers warm and calloused- the hallmark of a person more than comfortable with a blade. He squeezed your hand once before letting go.
Up close, the admin’s eyes and brows were visible through the thick glass that made up part of his helmet. What features you could make out were relaxed enough, but there was still that slightest crease between both of his dark brows, that thoughtful, seeking facet to his eyes. Intelligent, determined. Curious.
Xisumavoid was dangerous, you decided. The best thing for you to do would be to fuck off to some distant corner of the map, hole up, and keep out of his way for the remainder of the time you would spend here.
A decent plan, but only if Xisuma had gotten the memo.
The Hermits spread out across the island you had spawned on fast, forming their own little communities. You noted how the groups you had picked out earlier seemed to, for the most part, stick together- Grian, Mumbo, and Scar forming their own faction to the north of the island that everyone had spawned in on, while the creeper and wolf hybrid that had reminded you so much of Sam and Ponk (well, before everything happened) set up east.
And you? Well, seeing as everyone stayed relatively close to one another, you built yourself a boat and planned to get the hell out of dodge, traveling a couple thousand blocks until you felt safe enough to settle- that is, until you ran into a slight problem.
It turns out, another difference between the Dream SMP and Hermitcraft was that your previous server had lacked a world border- a magical barrier that was set up by admins to prevent players from ranging too far and causing… issues, to put it lightly. Lag. Which is very, very dangerous for the health of a server and its members.
Nobody really knew what lag was, exactly- whether it was a glitch in the foundations of the universe itself, or the act of irritated gods. It was the kind of thing that crept up on a server, distorting the world into something a step to the side of reality. Redstone machines would break, animals wouldn’t spawn… hell, it was difficult to even get around when there was an overabundance of lag.
However, besides all the normal issues that would throw a wrench into the workings of a server and possibly lead to player deaths, the biggest (and most dangerous) aspect of lag was its effect on respawning.
There were too many stories, too many tales about how people just… disappeared after they died. Eaten up by the endless, unforgiving expanse of the void that whispered beneath bedrock.
Just thinking about it made you shiver.
Lag was easy enough to manage on most servers, there really only being ten to twenty players on average per world. However, that was when you were speaking about average players- those who made their way through life goofing around with friends, perhaps even entering some low-level Hypixel competitions, but never really going beyond that.
Even the Dream SMP, despite how glitchy the server got during Doomsday, never really had an issue with those sorts of things. Any big Redstone machines were either used only once, or were broken too quickly to make much of a difference in the world’s operation.
Compared to everything you had ever experienced, Hermitcraft itself was practically a myth- a beast of a server, filled with some of the most legendary players to grace the universe. It was a miracle that their worlds could handle the sheer enormity of their bases and builds, so in theory, it didn’t surprise you that their admin would have to take extra measures regarding lag safety.
However, that didn’t exactly mean you were expecting it when you ran into the world border, a giant, shimmering wall of magic and static electricity that resisted any attempt you made to breach it. A cage keeping you in, trapped where you would really rather not be.
It made sense to you, really. If players were kept within a small space, then the server wouldn’t have to use as much magic to support an infinite expanse. It was logical.
Still, it fucked up your plans, forcing you to settle in the eastmost chunk of land you could reach- an arid savannah biome. (You resolutely tried to forget a different savannah biome, swallowing back the sting of guilt-regret-guilt that threatened to pull you under)
Those first few weeks you dedicated yourself to the grind, getting as much food, supplies, and armor as you could, spurred on by the ever-present knowledge that you could be attacked at any time, have everything taken away once more. You worked your way through the cave systems that wound underneath your hastily constructed base. You set up an experience farm near one of the many spawners you had found, allowing yourself to invest just that little bit of time and effort to get levels.
All-nighters were common, nightmares even more so. The dark circles under your eyes were as well-worn as your armor, practically looking like bruises, and even on your best days you were never not aware of just how exhausted you were.
It was on one of the bad days that Xisuma decided to stop by for the first of his many little ‘trips’ to your base.
You had taken a quick break in between tasks, promising yourself that you would get back to work soon, but… well, you had nodded off, leaning against the trunk of the gnarled acacia tree you had left to shade your farm. It was comfortable there, where the warmth of the air and the shade of the leaves created the perfect temperature, and where you had taken off your heavy breastplate and helmet to shed some weight.
Your eyes slipped closed, and when you opened them, it was to see the silhouette of an armored figure looming over you.
You couldn’t even remember it- one second you were blinking awake, and the next you had pinned them down, one hand holding a dagger to his throat and the other pinning their wrists down. You were panting, great, heaving breaths that sounded almost like sobs, heart jack-hammering in your chest like it wanted to break free.
“What the fuck are you doing?” you choked out, your entire body trembling from fear and adrenaline.
They coughed, and all of the sudden you recognized the helmet, the armor, the dark eyes that watched you with equal amounts of shock and concern. Xisuma- the admin- was held under the weight of your body, glossy netherite armor digging into the soft of your belly through the flimsy shirt you wore. You had attacked the admin. The admin, who now had full reason to get revenge on you.
Your panic only grew at the realization. No- no. You were not going to have a panic attack right now. You couldn’t.
You were up and stumbling back before you could blink. “Fuck- I am so sorry. I don’t- I don’t even know what came over me. I shouldn't've- sorry, sorry.”
Slowly, carefully, Xisuma sat up, telegraphing his movements like one might do when faced with a frightened animal. You didn’t see that, though- all you could see were the weapons strapped to his belt, the
The cloying fog of fear descended over you, threatening to send you spiraling into a panic. Your heart felt like it was racing a mile a minute, breaths coming faster and faster until the familiar sensation of nausea welled in your gut and crept up your esophagus.
It could’ve been seconds or minutes you spent like that, unseeing, unfeeling, desperately trying not to gag, but when you dragged yourself back into consciousness someone was pressing your hands to their chest, ribs flexing as they took exaggerated breaths. Their voice slowly filtered through the fog of panic that set over you.
“-You need to keep breathing, okay? In for five, out for seven. Can you do that? Follow my breathing, like this.”
Finally registering the pinched and burning feeling in your lungs, you inhaled, the dizzying rush of oxygen making you lightheaded as you blindly tried to match the rhythm of the other person’s inhales and exhales. Their heartbeat thudded heavily through the flesh and bone of your hands, and you distantly noted that their accent sounded a lot like Xisuma’s.
Wait.
Glancing up through teary eyes (when had you started crying?), your gaze met smooth metal and glass, a familiar dark gaze, brows drawn heavy over his eyes into a concerned scowl.
Ah. That… makes more sense.
Distantly, you noted that Xisuma had very long eyelashes.
When you didn’t seem like you were about to pass out from hyperventilation, you removed your hands from where Xisuma had placed them on his chest, curling into yourself to appear smaller as you noted just how close together you were.
“I’m sorry,” you tried again, wiping away the few tears that had escaped from your eyes with shaking hands. “Didn’t know it was you.”
“Don’t apologize,” he responded almost immediately. It took the gentle squeeze of his hands for you to realize that he was holding your shoulders- not tightly, but enough so that warmth seeped through his gloves. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Hunching your shoulders, you desperately searched for any indication of his mood as he drew back- a clenched hand, stiff shoulders, anything, but the admin’s every movement was slow and nonthreatening. Controlled.
“I just wanted to check on you since none of the other Hermits have seen you since the start of the server. I’m sorry for scaring you so badly.”
A flicker of surprise flashed across your features before you schooled them into a scowl once more. “Yeah, well, maybe don’t fucking sneak up on me next time.”
Xisuma huffed a laugh. It didn’t sound amused. “I guess I deserved that.”
You eyed him then, screwing your lips into a deep frown as your gaze jumped from his mask, to his hands, to his mask again. After a moment, you abruptly exhaled and stood up, dusting off some of the dirt that had stuck to your armor.
“Alright, well, I’ve got work to do, so…”
He stared at you for a moment (and you could practically picture the dial-up noises his brain was making) before scrambling to his feet as well.
“Wait- wait! Uh, is there- do you have panic attacks often?”
Your posture, which you hadn’t realized had relaxed somewhat, tensed once more. “What’s it to you?”
Xisuma stooped to pick up the breastplate he had taken off to help you, hastily affixing it to his frame before answering your terse question. He seemed uncharacteristically sheepish, running a gloved hand over the smooth dome of his helmet in what you assumed was a nervous tic.
“It’s important to me to be aware of people’s needs, being an admin ‘n all. Panic attacks are part of that, so I remember what triggers they have.”
Against your will, both of your eyebrows quirked up. It would be so, so easy for him to be saying that just to use your ‘triggers’ (weaknesses) against you. Hell- you had gone through this song and dance so often you could do it with your eyes closed.
It’s too simple to get attached to someone when they said all the right things, easier so when they knew what they were, knew you, planned to string you along like a wooden marionette…
But, you had lived with a very good liar. Lied yourself. And Xisuma? You hadn’t known him very long, but some long-buried part of you recognized his sincerity and ached.
The knowledge hurt, stung more than when you had dove into the ocean with a couple arrows still stuck in you, but he wouldn’t use this against you.
Xisuma took your thoughtful silence as a negative, backpedaling quickly. “Of course, you don’t have to tell me, you’ve barely even met me. Sorry for being pushy, I’ll just take my leave-”
“I don’t like surprises,” you said, interrupting him cooly. “I don’t like TNT, rockets… loud sounds in general are pretty shit- and that includes yelling. Green, too, but that’s mostly bright green. On bad days I can’t really stand it at all. And… I don’t like not seeing people’s faces. Stresses me out.”
He seemed too shocked to speak, the muscles of his throat working for a moment as if he was opening and closing his jaw, before exhaling deeply. The sound was relieved, if a little breathy. “Great. Well, not great, but- y’know. Thank you. For telling me.”
You huffed, stuffing your buzzing nerves deep, deep down. “Yeah, yeah. Keep it moving, I’ve got work to do.”
Suffice it to say, you see a lot more of a certain masked admin after that. (Not him, never him, but the change isn’t entirely unwelcome)
It irked you at first, having to contend with visits that reminded you a little too much of better worse times, an unfeeling porcelain mask and raised voices in dark rooms; being watched, kept pliant and tucked out of the way. But Xisuma’s presence once you got past his appearance was so, so much different.
Dream had always reminded you of the ocean, stormy and beautiful and alluringly dangerous. The comparison was even more so fitting once you had gotten past his mask- not his real one, but the facade of friendliness- and realized that he was as deadly as a riptide current.
If Dream was the ocean, then Xisuma was the endless night sky, constant and comforting. He never pushed you to talk during his visits, never toed the line of your boundaries or asked why you couldn’t talk about certain things or couldn’t listen to certain songs. It was almost as if he didn’t want anything from you- which, of course, was total bullshit, but the thought was nice anyway.
Against your better judgement, you could almost call him a friend.
The two of you were sitting on your porch one evening when you finally worked up the urge to ask the question that had been tearing at the back of your mind, watching as the eggshell blue sky slowly bled and burst into a riot of orange and pink.
“Why are you doing this?”
Xisuma looked up at you, the side of his helmet brushing against your legs from where he was propped up against the siding. “Hm?”
You gestured vaguely with a hand, cheeks heating slightly.
“Y’know, visiting ‘n all? I thought it was to- to watch me like D-” your voice failed, and you cleared your throat awkwardly before you went on. “Like he did. But, uh, you’ve been around for a while and you haven’t made any moves, so… what’s up?”
He stared at you for a moment, silent, and you hastily looked away from his face, picking at the material of your pants. They were some kind of super-durable fabric that Impulse had given to you for helping him with his Redstone farm, and the sheer amount of pockets sewed into it had quickly made it the favorite pair you owned.
With Xisuma’s gentle coaxing, you had gradually began to interact more with the Hermits. It wasn’t anything too major, just helping them out with a few things here or there in exchange for payment. You knew business, understood it, so your dealings with them were easier to manage than any other social situation- or, Prime forbid, a festival.
The admin finally seemed to find his voice after a moment, turning fully to face you this time as he spoke. “Did you think think I was only here to- did you think I was guarding you?”
You shrugged, trying to keep the movement as nonchalant as possible. “I mean, it’s not like it hasn’t happened before.”
“Fuck,” he breathed, the curse tinged with a disbelieving sort of amusement.
A laugh tore itself out of your lungs. “Hels, X, I didn’t even know you could curse. Seems like your pristine reputation isn’t all that it’s made out to be, hm?”
He chuckled along with you, and, against your permission, you felt your muscles relax at the sound. Fucking- damn him. Damn him and his ability to make you feel safe, secure. Loved.
“I don’t know where you got that idea from. It’s not like I’m a nun,” he said, a grin curling the edges of his voice into something sunshine-soft, even as swathes of darkness cut across the sky above your heads.
You rolled your eyes. “I dunno, with you I can never be quite sure.”
He was silent again, the two of you watching as stars flared and blinked into existence one by one. So silent, in fact, that when his hand slid up your calf you jolted.
“I would never- you know I could never be like Dream, right? Gods- I would never forgive myself for doing a fraction of the things he did.”
Inhaling sharply at the mention of the man who had broken your heart, broken you, you squeezed your eyes shut tightly before tears could begin to well up. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”
Xisuma squeezed your leg comfortingly, and you could feel him shift closer until he was almost fully leaning against you.
“I love you.”
This time, you let the tears slip down your face.
Maybe you didn’t deserve a new start. Maybe it was too difficult, would take too much energy to get back on your feet again after being held down for so long.
But, if you could have this, then you wouldn’t mind giving it your best shot.
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Could you do a Grian x Reader where Grian is injured or sick and the Reader is taking care of him?
Hi anon! It was really fun to write some more hermit fluff, so thanks for the request!
Chicken Noodle Soup
c!Grian x Winged!Reader (romantic)
Summary: When your partner doesn’t show up for a prank, you know something is wrong. You take care of Grian when you find him bedridden.
Warnings: Sickness (not descriptive, no vomiting), food/eating.
Note: Gender neutral reader (no pronouns used).
Your wings buzzed with excitement as you waited. Your partner Grian had told you to meet him near Mumbo’s megabase for an amazing prank.
The two of you were the terror of Boatem. Ever since you joined together in season 6, you’d been forces of chaos. The adventures of Poultry Man and his unnamed accomplice were legends among the hermits.
Now, you waited for Grian near the Boatem Pole, scanning the skies for his brightly-coloured wings. He said that he’d meet you about twenty minutes ago, and while it wasn’t unusual for him to be late you were getting impatient. Pulling out your communicator, you sent your partner a quick message.
<Y/N: Hey Pesky Bird! Where are you?>
You decided you’d give him a few minutes for a response, hopping between the boulders and bushes that Pearl had installed as decoration while you waited. When your comms didn’t buzz with an answer, you frowned. Grian normally would have gotten back to you by now.
Opening the general chat, you shot a question out to the other hermits.
<Y/N: Has anyone seen Grian lately? He’s not answering his comms.>
<DocM77: No, sorry!>
<GeminiTay: I haven’t been near Boatem lately, but I can tell you he’s not near the Swamp Lump!>
<GoodTimesWithScar: Not recently, let me know if you want help to look for him!>
<XisumaVoid: Do you need me to look for his coords in the coding?>
<Y/N: I don’t think so. I’ll check around on my own. If anyone sees him, ping me.>
Now you were concerned. If no one else had seen him, something must be wrong. Or he was just pranking you. You hoped it was the latter.
You shoved your comms away, shooting into the air with a rocket. Leveling out around cloud height, you scanned the ground carefully to make sure you didn’t miss him. You swooped around the artificial mountains created around Boatem, weaving in and out between the peaks. Your mind was flooded with options as to where Grian might be.
Eventually you thought to look in his base. You landed in front of his stone and copper build as you mentally facepalmed. Why didn’t you think to look here first?
You tapped on the door, calling out to Grian as you pushed it open. “Pesky Bird?”
A groan sounded from inside the building. Stepping inside, you noticed that the lights were all off and the windows were covered. “Love?”
You grabbed a torch from the wall and lit it, carrying it as you found your way to the stairs. You navigated around the hole leading to Grian’s sheep farm and up to the second floor, where his bedroom was located.
As you approached, you saw a bundle of blankets curled up on Grian’s bed. His wings sprouted from a break in the sheets.
“Oh, love.” You walked over and perched on the edge of the bed. After placing the torch in a bracket on the wall, you rubbed your hand across his back. “How are you feeling?”
A face peeked out from the pile of blankets. “Not great.” You let out a small chuckle.
“I can see that.” Leaning down, you gave Grian a peck on the cheek. “I’ll be back in a moment.” He grumbled and hid his face in the covers again. Standing, you jumped over the balcony, a quick flap of your wings righting you in an instant.
Searching through the chests in the middle of the room, you sighed. There was no rhyme or reason to Grian’s organization. It took several minutes to find the materials you needed. You took them over to the crafting table along the wall, placing them in the proper positions to make a new item.
You walked up the stairs carefully, doing your best to not spill. Once you were back next to Grian, you set the bowl on his bedside table. “Hey birdie.”
Your partner wriggled under the blankets for a moment before coming to a sitting position. Upon seeing the bowl of broth, he let out a questioning chirp.
“I made soup! Scar told me once that when he was sick, his mom would always make chicken noodle soup, so I thought it was worth a shot.” You raised a spoon. “Open.”
Grian let out a laugh, but did as you requested. After he swallowed, he smiled. “I love you, y/n.”
You grinned back at him. “I know.” He smacked you with a wing. Laughing, you continued. “And I love you too.”
“Good.” He wrapped his wing around you, snuggling into your side. You wove an arm around him in return, giving a quick hug before returning it to your own side.
“Finish the soup, and then we can cuddle.” Grian let out a chirp of protest and you laughed. He fixed you with his best baby-bird eyes, and it took all you had to hold out. “No. No. You can't get me with the eyes.”
Your partner sulked. “Fine.” He reached out for the bowl, taking it from you. You were about to tell him to be careful when he lifted the bowl to his mouth and chugged the soup. Setting the bowl down, he smiled. “Now we can cuddle.”
You sighed. “I did promise.” You reached your arm around Grian again, wrapping him into a hug before pulling him down to a lying-down position. You lay one of your wings atop the two of you like a blanket. “Love you.”
Grian leaned forward to give you a quick kiss on the lips. “Mhmm.” You smacked him with your wing. He laughed. “I love you too, y/n.”
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