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orbleglorb · 1 year

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textposts as blaseball players

all art by sky, taken from the miniblaseball site

photos below the cut (because there's a lot of them) along with image ids :)

ID: textpost from sawtual that has been edited to be about/from jessica telephone. it says "im sick to death of the girlboss phenomenom. appreciate strugglewomen or we'll never get anything done around here. no more 'she's the only braincell of the group'. i want more women who fail at tasks that are unimaginable to fail at. we need more pathetic wet meow meows who are women. literally open your heart to strugglewomen because they're all we have left in this fucked up world." /end ID

ID: textpost from lizardsister that says "bad news fellas, just got word from the boss, he says no more kissing each other on the job." the san francisco lovers logo has been edited on. the logo was designed by Lucacrafts on twitter. /end ID

ID: textpost by ainti-pretty that has been edited to be from thomas dracena. the post says "garlic is the most evil fucking thing on planet earth. that and silver." ainti-pretty reblogged their post with a screenshot of someone else's tag that says "how do you feel about sunlight btw just curious," and ainti-pretty says "not that it's any of your business, but it hurts real bad :(" /end ID

ID: a conversation between firefox-official and lunasilverpelt, edited to be a conversation between val hitherto and stijn strongbody, respectively. the post says firefox-official: "this user just stole a priceless piece of art." lunasilverpelt: "Is there something you want to tell the police?" firefox-official: "This user has nothing he wants to tell the police." /end ID

ID: pukicho answering an ask from fxcelesslunar, edited to be socks maybe answering an ask from tillman henderson. the ask says "why does your description say lovable?" and the response says "look at me!!!!" /end ID

ID: a post from jame7t edited to be about ankle halifax and ivy mason (aka wyatt mason IV). the post says, "hey girl do you want to hang out later and hit me as hard as you can with a baseball bat?" /end ID

ID: a post from memorycycle that says "(honk at pretty lady on the sidewalk) hey :smirking emoji: wanna see me drive straight into that brick wall?" below the original post is a note added by me (orbleglorb) that says "she doesn't have a mini, but this would be juke gnocchi if he could drive." /end ID

ID: a post from puplov that has been edited to be from parker macmillan prime. the post says "when i was bornt i came outta my mom sizzling like a fajita." /end ID

ID: a post from wizard-council-bureaucrat that has been edited to be from manu candle. the post says "the cure to your bloodline curse (dehydration) is this one fucked up magical potion trick (8oz of water)." the tags say "your ancestors were also dehydrated, they just died about it tho." /end ID.

#blaseball #jessica telephone #thomas dracaena #val hitherto #stijn strongbody #tillman henderson #socks maybe #ankle halifax #ivy mason #wyatt mason iv #juke gnocchi #parker macmillan #manu candle #thats a lot of tags. sorry

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ohkaypoh · 1 year

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BEST. FRIEND. STACK.

[Ankle Halifax and Wyatt Mason IV designs by Quail on discord. Tahini Poinsettia design by me]

#blaseball #my art #ankle halifax #wyatt mason iv #tahini poinsettia #charleston shoe thieves #houston spies #miami dale #fanart

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toxic-clockwork · 1 year

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Okay but Ankle and Ivy have a Teen Romance Movie type thing going on

#blaseball #houston spies #Ankle Halifax #Ivy Mason #Wyatt Mason IV #charleston shoe thieves #godtiers art #digital art #art #fanart #commissions open #blaseball fanart #illustration #artist on tumblr

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kit-arc · 1 year

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Agency

Okay, so I wrote some Houston Spies fic on a whim. Enjoy some Conditional Yuniesky angst and Ivy wholesomeness.

The Spot, as Ivy had taken to thinking about it, was cool and dark, tucked away behind rows and rows of towering filing cabinets with cryptic labels. The cabinets muffled the strange, unnerving noises that sometimes echoed through the Agency's halls, but was not so isolated acoustically that they couldn't hear when someone was approaching. Not that many sought Ivy out at The Spot, another benefit really. It was just inconvenient enough to reach that only the most determined agents would wind through the steel maze to bother them, which usually meant they were left alone there. They had set up a couple old monitors, a fax machine, and a flickering desk lamp so as to continue their research into the Agency's protocols, to continue searching for why they'd disappeared… to figure out their place in The Plan.

It was their unofficial office, a quiet, secluded space with no distractions. A place where they could be alone if they needed it.

Ivy needed it. With the reopening of the book, they knew it was more important than ever to wrap their head around what to expect, what to prepare for, how to help the other Spies navigate the danger. There was a jittery nervousness beginning to well up inside of them, the kind that would boil over into fear and panic if the unasked questions couldn't receive an answer.

And so, finding that The Spot, haven of intellectual solitude, was presently occupied by a pillar of black stone and a quietly typing Yuniesky was, to say the least, disarming.

"Oh," Ivy intoned, shifting weight from one foot to the other. "Hello, Yunie."

Yuniesky made no outward response. Their eyes were fixed to what Ivy had to assume was endless lines of code, and, judging by the stained mug beside them, they had been here for some time now. Conditional, at least, offered a smile by way of emoji, displayed on a tablet affixed to its otherwise unmarked surface. Ivy found it odd that the monolith was often easier to read than the human, but supposed everyone was entitled to their emotional privacy.

"We missed you at the debriefing earlier." Ivy pulled out a chair and sank into it across from Yuniesky while flipping open the top file they had brought with them to study. "There was lots of talk about what to do about the Strike. We-"

"I'll read about it later." Yuniesky's reply was measured, curt. Final. It wasn't unfriendly, but clearly it was the end of that topic.

Ivy came up short, unsure of how to proceed. They looked to the monolith to find its screen blank. No help there, then.

"So, what are you working on?" Another angle. Perhaps they'd be more willing to discuss their own project.

But, no, the silence stretched on, and Ivy's discomfort began to grow. Were they bothering them? Even though The Spot had been Ivy's go-to spot to get away, others weren't technically disallowed from using it. Still, that didn’t prevent Ivy from feeling a slight pang of annoyance.

“I’ll just…” They gathered up the files and gave a warm smile. “I’ll leave you to it, then. Sorry to bother you.” Ivy waited a beat to see if Yuniesky would respond.

They did not.

“Alright then.” Ivy turned and headed through the corridors of filing cabinets. They’d simply have to settle for going over the files in their room instead.

-----

The following day was filled with another round of round-table discussions; more theories were thrown around about the appearance of the Umpires and their ominous proclamations, more ideas about what to do about it all were thrown around, more confusion percolated as they discussed the unredacted portions of the Book, and news about the first incineration. Ivy was exhausted by the end of it all, and just wanted to be somewhere else.

They wound their way back to The Spot, eager to simply lounge in the dark and digest all thoughts competing for their attention. Maybe they’d take a quick nap first, though. After all, they hadn’t been sleeping well lately and-

Yuniesky and Conditional were still in The Spot.

Ivy blinked a few times as they halted at the end of a row of filing cabinets. Conditional displayed a waving hand emoji, and Yuniesky…

There was a look in Yuniesky’s eyes, a razor-sharp determination, a deep, smoldering intensity of near-obsession, juxtaposed against the heavy bags forming under their eyes. To one side of Yunie’s laptop was a small coffee machine, which gurgled and dispensed directly into a mug. Yunie quickly swapped the mug with a thermos once it had filled, and took a cautious sip. Only then did they seem to even register that Ivy was standing there, providing only a slight nod as a way of greeting.

“Have you been here all night?” Ivy stepped to the side, confirming that Yuniesky was still wearing the same clothes. “Did you get any sleep?”

Yunie sighed and continued typing. “Couldn’t sleep.” The way their voice croaked, the way it rose barely from a mumble, belied an exhaustion that went deeper than lack of sleep.

“Yunie, you should really-”

“Don’t worry about me.” Just like that. Dismissed.

Ivy frowned, a frustration bubbling inside of them. “Fine, I won’t then.” Ivy turned away. They could find solitude in their room after all, and it seemed like Yuniesky would be terrible company anyway.

-----

The next day, when Yuniesky failed to show up for yet another debriefing, Ivy began debating if they should start looking for a new Spot. If Yuniesky liked it so much, they could have it for all they cared. It was frustrating to have a teammate seem so disinterested in the daily goings ons, even when they were allegedly working so hard on other Plan-critical projects, but Ivy was already stressed enough without adding a direct confrontation on top of it.

As they paced about in their room, brainstorming new Spot locations, a notification on their phone grabbed their attention. It was a message from Conditional: Please help.

Ivy paused in place and stared at the message. After a moment spent in confusion, Ivy replied, What’s wrong?

The response was immediate. Yunie isn’t listening to me :( I can’t get them to leave

Ivy didn’t hesitate.

They tucked a pillow and a blanket under their arm and jogged toward the archive. As they dodged between pillars of steel-encased documentation, they heard Yuniesky grumbling something about operational security and handshake protocols. Ivy slowed down to listen closer, noting the delirious way they rambled.

Cautiously, they rounded the final turn to The Spot, moving slowly to not startle Yuniesky. “Yunie?” they called out.

The person that looked back at them was a shell of themself. Yunie was disheveled and wore an expression of sleepless defeat. “Really, Condi?” They looked back at the monolith looming behind them. “You called Ivy here?”

“Yunie, this isn’t healthy. You need to-” Ivy slipped on a puddle of cold coffee, but caught themself on the table before falling all the way to the floor. They took a beat to recover and set the bedding behind Yunie’s laptop. “You need to sleep.”

Yuniesky lolled forward, rubbing their temples. “I told Conditional already, once I figure out this new encryption algorithm, I’ll sleep. It just-”

“It can wait,” Ivy interrupted, trying their best to not sound frustrated. “No mission or project is worth this.”

“Listen, kid, I don’t need you to lecture me.” Yunie leaned back, running a hand through their dark curls. “I’ve pulled way longer stints without sleep and-”

“Don’t call me kid.” Ivy winced at their own voice, too venomous, too annoyed. They adjusted in their seat and leaned forward, trying to meet Yuniesky’s eyes. “Look, you’ve missed three debriefings already. The others were asking about you. I had to tell them you were on assignment.”

“Assignment, huh?” Yuniesky chuckled. “What, from the Agency? They’re gone, Ivy. We all know it. We all know they sure as hell aren’t coming back.” They sat up and returned Ivy’s gaze, a sudden intensity building in their voice. “Why do we keep pretending, huh? When I fell to the Spies, I thought ‘hey, now there’s a team I can get behind. There’s a group that really has their stuff together.’ And now I’m here, and all I see are empty halls, empty offices. Empty promises, Ivy. That’s all the Agency’s good for now.”

The air hung heavy with the bitterness of the statement. They had all felt it, the Agency’s absence. It weighed on everyone, and there had been plenty of talk about what that even meant for them. Now, with the opening of the Book, their absence was worse than ever. While many in the team knew what to expect from the Book, they were left completely in the lurch about what to do about it. All of their theories and worries could only carry them so far. They needed resources, support, intelligence, and without the Agency, those were all in horribly short supply.

Ivy sighed, feeling the weight of all those weeks spent studying old Agency records coming crashing down upon them in an instant. “I get it.” Ivy leaned over and picked the pillow off the table, squeezing it between their hands. “I tried so hard to step in, make up for their absence, but… I don’t know. Maybe I don’t have it in me.”

They hugged the pillow and closed their eyes, just for a moment, long enough to let them grapple with that hopelessness, own it. But they didn’t let it take over, they didn’t let themself get lost in it. There were people counting on them, people who needed them.

Ivy met Yuniesky’s eyes with a smile, genuine and hopeful.

“The Black Hole took the Agency, but it didn’t take our agency. We have to focus on what’s next, and we have to do that together. So please,” Ivy held out the pillow, “we need you to be at your best. We need you with us.”

For a silent, uncertain moment, they just looked at each other. And then, quietly, Yuniesky took the pillow and nodded to Ivy before tucking it behind their head. Behind them, Conditional displayed “Thank You” on its screen.

Ivy draped the blanket over them and began to clean up The Spot as Yuniesky settled in. They decided to leave Yuniesky alone to sleep, and turned to leave.

Just as they were about to walk out of sight, Yunie called out. “Ivy!”

They stopped and looked back. “Yes?”

“Thank you and… sorry I took your spot.”

Ivy grinned and waved them off. “Don’t worry about it. You can join me here any time.”

#blaseball #houston spies #wyatt mason iv #conditional yuniesky #hope you like it #i know ivy's a very well loved character so i really hope i did them justice here #kit writes

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atlantisblasebl · 1 year

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PENELOPE VIDEO: Short Circuit 3 Charge. Was one of the best hitters in said lineup, and was selected as a charge over better hitters largely due to the name being a vibe and a half. Video Killed the Radio Star 2: Radio's Revenge! Or something like that. I think we lored her as an analog horror protagonist.

WYATT MASON IV: Georgias player from Season β18 to Season β19. Also known as "Ivy". Arrived in a baffling three-way trade involving Fish Summer and Montgomery Bullock. Joined the team in a shell, but was swiftly pecked free, to become an awful hitter on our lineup. Got quickly moved to the rotation, which they were actually pretty good at. Committed Superallergy Fraud with Flattery McKinley. Currently a pitcher for the Spies.

#penelope video #wyatt mason iv #georgias bracket #georgias bracket round 1

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jamlabs · 2 years

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Spyatt Mason REAL BTW.

Spies || plot relevant?? ||

Also operation BLUESKYSCRAPER is a go

#blaseball #houston spies #wyatt mason IV #we were all freaking out.#bennett bluesky

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starscelly · 7 months

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dallas stars as (mostly) tweets (1/?)

#ive been building up tweets for MONTHS but have been too lazy to put them with pictures #but here we finally are #i have like 80 smthn of these so . hence the 1/?#miro roope matching contract reference . who is surprised #dallas stars #miro heiskanen #jake oettinger #jason robertson #roope hintz #424 #ty dellandrea #wyatt johnston #1053 #mason marchment #ryan suter #cels hockey tweets #sure

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wayslidecool · 6 months

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how do y'all feel about Blaseball Story Time, because i saw fan art of Fish Summer in a Georgias jersey and it got me thinking about the Georgias' quest to have a Hot Fish Summer. putting this all under the cut because it's a Long Story

so! the Georgias are a new team, and we are Not Very Good. we aren't that keen on trading our players, but after a few seasons with little in way in results, it's clear that we're gonna need to if we ever want to get ahead. thankfully, it didn't take a lot of time for us to find a player that most Georgias fans could agree on: Fish Summer.

there was a lot we liked about Fish Summer. obviously, the name and theming were on point for us, but they were also a notably minmaxed player, with some of the best batting in the league, but really low stats in everything else. this might not sound attractive on paper, but with the Equivalent Exchange will in play, it meant that we wouldn't have to give up one of our best players if we wanted Fish to join our team, letting us give up a mediocre player in favor of one who would be a massive boon to our lineup.

still, we were a bit hesitant -- Fish Summer was on the Moist Talkers at the time, and Talkers fans were very attached to Fish. we wanted to maintain good relationships with the rest of the league, and if we stole a Team's fan-favorite player, what would the chances be that they'd just reverse the trade in the next election? fortunately for us, a wimdy would send Fish from the Talkers to the Crabs, and we decided that would be our time to strike. we put up our Season 16 voting guide, encouraging fans to trade Mordecai Kingbird for Fish Summer.

unfortunately, the Georgias were very prone to weird wimdy trades at the time, and instead of trading Mordecai for Fish Summer, we traded him for Montgomery Bullock, a pitcher from the Fridays who couldn't bat to save their life. we didn't particularly care for Monty, so when the end of the season rolled around, we traded them off to the Crabs in order to finally enjoy a Hot Fish Summer. this trade would be intercepted by the Crabs however, who put in a wimdy vote that would trade Fish for Wyatt Mason IV (aka Ivy), a Tacos pitcher who also couldn't bat to save their life. hilariously, this triple-trade left all three players involved in a position they absolutely sucked at, benefiting no one.

that being said, after that mishap, we were kind of over Fish Summer. we moved Ivy to our rotation, and by that point, we had partied enough that our roster was actually looking pretty good. it was time to put Fish Summer behind us.

this would not last for long. our respectable rotation would soon give up Ivy and Jan Canberra for Dickerson Morse and Goobie Ballson, who are more recognized for "Dick and Balls" jokes than their pitching talent, and respectable small-ball leadoff hitter Niq Nyong'o would be incinerated and replaced with Ji-Eun Clove, who could only hit the occasional triple once in a blue moon. the Georgias were once again Bad, and with a bunch of newbies we didn't particularly care for, trading for Fish Summer was once again on the menu.

and this time, it went off without a hitch! in Season 21, we traded Goobie Ballson for Fish Summer, who thanks to our new Fax Machine and Voicemail, had a quick path to the Georgias' lineup. this was it. the Georgias were finally Good again.

or so we thought. while Season 22 was the best season of the Georgias' career, a new problem would plague us, which was Flooding. Flooding was rampant in the Expansion Era, and players were being sent Elsewhere left and right, with Fish Summer being no exception. Fish Summer would end up spending the majority of their Georgias career Elsewhere, playing a total of 58 games for us over the course of three seasons. Atlantis may have loved Fish Summer, but Fish Summer decidedly did not love Atlantis.

anyway, after a long siesta, Blaseball would return with Fall Ball, which would send Fish Summer to the Shoe Thieves, which would be their final team as Blaseball would end two seasons later, ending the Georgias' Hot Fish Summer once and for all.

and you wanna know the funniest part? i don't think the Georgias even did that much with Fish Summer's lore after getting them! i mean, i would frequently forget Fish was even on our team, and i'm not sure how much they were developed past "lol a player named Fish on the ocean team" and "man Fish really hates it here huh". and despite this, Fish managed to leave one heck of a legacy on the team.

#blaseball #atlantis georgias #fish summer #this is largely rambling but i think it's a funny story

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