#wouldnt mind making some changes to improve with my current skills | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kenmaiii · 6 years

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stop being jealous and bitter!

Now i know you cant outright just throw away your jealousy in the art community. You see a really cool popular artist or just someone with absolutely amzing art and you think “wow holy shit their art is so good i wish that was me and that i could do that....” I understand that spite can be a good thing sometimes; it can be what motivates you to improve and do well, especially if the artist is well... not the best person in terms of personality. Great, that’s even more motivation to do well right!?

But when does all the comparing go too far?

----------------------------------------long post incoming------------------------------------------

Now i’ve had people very close to me do this. I’ve been told that im ‘popular’ which im honestly not seriously. They could probably be reading this right now, but this has been bothering me for awhile so i must get this out there. Let’s step into a certain mindset for a moment:-

You hate your artwork. You hate your current skills. Sure there are artists you like. But then there are ‘THOSE’ ones. You have very specific artists you follow just because theyre so good and popular they make you feel bitter and you still check up on them regularly to fuel that bitterness. You know good and well that they make you bitter and angry and peeved but you just keep going back.

Step back for a moment and think.... why on earth am i fucking doing this???? Comparing and feeling bitter about another persons skill or popularity and letting yourself stay sad and bitter isn’t good for ANYTHING, art aside. It’s good to want to feel validated at the work you spent time on but it WILL get tiring if you keep complaining that ‘your art is bad’, ‘your art isnt good’, ‘its shit’ or ‘garbage’. Your brain is just internalizing that and hindering your work and future improvement. It’s most importantly WASTING YOUR own time, YOU the creator. And not to sound snobby here, i really truly dont intend for that, but some of you know good and well that you keep belitting you work because you only just want people to compliment your art when youre only doing the bare minimum to improve! I can only tell you as a friend or an on-looker that i love your art so many times (as much i really do love it and hope for your improvement) if you continuously decide to still turn around and say you hate your work and tell me im wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why reach for compliments then! Why continuously turn them down?

And i’m not saying you cant ever not like your art (cause it happens) or decline a compliment, but to do it every single time....it leaves a bad image for your work. You either start to believe it, or the person complimenting you will get put off from your negativity!

It makes people feel bad, especially if theyre also artist AND also your friends. You can’t keep saying you prefer their work and still put down your own. It makes your artist friend uncomfortable. They might not know how to respond when you keep doing it. And im sure they wouldnt want you to keep making yourself feel bad. Personally, i wish all my art friends success and improvement, and i want them to love and feel proud of their work more than the times they hate it. We really need to uplift each other as artists.

Thanks.

What you think and say is what you become and if youre always negative and comparing youre gonna tear down both the person you admire and yourself. Ie, if youre constantly thinking ‘ill never be as good as this person’,’no ones ever gonna like my work’, ‘i cant color as well as they do’ or saying that your work is only ever garbage... newsflash asshole! your mind absorbs that negativity and makes you believe it! u fool!!!!! Because brains are stupid and can be your worst enemy at times!

Sometimes you just need to stOP looking at certain peoples work completely if it gets you that bitter or angry or sad. Unfollow them! Block them! Delete their name from your search history if you have to! Stop hurting yourself and forget about them, it’s like trying to think about an ex thats moved on. Pointless.

Negative emotions such as sadness and anger are our brains direct ways at trying to reach out to ourselves.

You: seeing cool art Your mind: remembering you dont have some of those skills or popularity + comparing = sadness/ anger/ bitterness at not being able to be at that lvl withtin the same timeframe or less

Your brain is trying to tell you to fix this! But you know you might not have the tools to gain that much popularity or become so good at anatomy, coloring , compositions or backgrounds overnight, so the only solution for your brain is to self-sabotage.

It’s just the same as suddenly feeling sad for no reason. It’s your mind trying to work out a problem you never resolved. Maybe your friends haven’t replied in awhile and you feel ignored. Or you subconsciously remembered a bad experience without really realizing. You’ll get sad. Your mind is is saying ‘Hey asshole im sad. I know it might be out of your control but I’ll stay sad about this one thing until you resolve it somehow. ’ (whether it be blindly distracting yourself on purpose or fully wallowing in the feelings)

So we realized youre feeling intensely about this persons work vs your own...then what exactly happened there? The answer is pretty simple. Some kind of information processing happened in your brain. The result of this processing made the your mind conclude that one of your existing problems (art in this case) can never be solved; whether conscious or unconscious, and this explains why your mood might change all of a sudden without any kind of warning signs (in relation to what you saw).

Inspired VS Jealousy When youre inspired youre working against yourself in a GOOD way. You’re feeling motivated to make something great! Youre feeling motivated to make something better than the last piece!! And honestly thats wonderful!!! That is a lot nicer than being in art-block, comparison negativity hell.

YOU are the only one responsible for where you are as an artist. That goes towards every artist of every skill level! There’s always someone better than you and there’s always someone worse than you. People get better at art in different intervals depending on how much they take in or put into practicing. Some people just get some concepts and fundamentals a lot easier and quicker than others but that doesn’t mean they naturally had that ability from birth. They put in the work just as you should be doing instead of feeling so intensely negative! But when you’re jealous and negative all the time, that’s when it starts to go downhill. :/

Jealously is a very human emotion at its core. And im not saying its super easy to deal with and just suddenly get over, but there are things you can do to slowly help yourself do it at least a little less.

Here’s the best things you CAN do instead:- - Write down some of the things you find yourself feeling bitter over about, especially when you look at another artists work? Ask yourself why these specific things? If it’s something you yourself can work on in your own pieces then maybe uh do that? - Find the time to practice your work. - Practice even more. - If it’s your style that you arent happy with think of the artstyles you like and set aside time to mimic the way that artist might draw something (hence adding that to YOUR style). Take a sketchbook page or two and just draw entirely in those styles. - Practice. I can’t stress this enough. I know artists say this a lot and it can kind of just be thrown around carelessly, but if you keep putting this off and saying you don’t want to practice or talking about how time is going by when you should be practicing things.... and STILL refuse to practice then???? I cant help you sorry. Time waits for no one, so sometimes you need to grab time by the horns and kick its ass for awhile. Put in that effort! - Please use references. Even better if you use it nearly EVERYTIME you draw something, especially yknow...if its a pose, body part or background that you know you have no idea how to properly express! Find a stock image or a variety of websites to use! Save poses that you like from online magazines, other artists and photographs you see anywhere online. I like to look at online magazines from other countries or photographers, and there are tons of places like pinterest or instagram and whatnot. - Stop comparing and being bitter. Ii cant say this enough it gets me so ticked off, but my stubborn taurus self refuses to fully go off until it all piles up and this post is the result lol. If you know you can’t let go hating on a certain artist (for no good reason) then dont hate-follow them! Don’t check up on their work constantly! Don’t even talk about them!!!!!!! Try to get them out of your head for goodness sakes. Majority of the time they dont even know who YOU are so why are you worried about what they’re up to. - STOP SHITTING ON YOUR OWN WORK. - STOP IT RIGHT NOW. - AS THE ARTIST SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO SAY ‘’hey, my work isn’t exactly where i want it to be at this point in time and it may never be but i can appreciate that i’ve gotten better at a lot of things and im better than where i was a few years/ a year/ a month ago/ even weeks ago.” - ”I’m proud of this piece and can’t wait to get even better.” - Art is a struggle that takes time, effort and a lot of work. There’s always going to be someone better than you and there’s always going to be someone worse than you. You can only strive to get to the level that would make you happiest, otherwise you will get irritated with it and feel absolutely miserable about everything you produce. - PUT IN THE WORK TO GET YOUR ART OUT THERE. Social media has been both a curse and a blessing to artists all around. It’s made it easier for us to share our work around and opened paths for making money online and at home and connecting with other artists, but competition grows everyday as more people post their work in the same market. (ie another reason why it can be hard to get your commissions out there) Also as artists we want that dopamine rush you get from people liking your stuff, i get that its gucci. -But if you aren’t tagging your works well, posting somewhat consistently, not really bothering to talk to people in certain art communities (even people in your fandom because hey potential friends and even partners on future projects), not adding your works to groups (a big problem i see with people on places like deviantart mostly), joining and sharing them in art group chats/aminos/discords, joining events to get yourself out there (such as zines/big bangs/gift exchanges etc), giving tips and advice or even little helpful tutorials to people then how do you expect to be noticed? How. If youre not doing at least TWO of these things then hoW can you complain about not getting attention. :(

Of course you dont have to do ALL of this. Im just saying ...if you arent out there advertising how will more people know about you? This leads to you thinking no one likes your art (skill level excluded because even my cringiest old art would have a few comments or encouragements to see my future improvement, and i still want to hide when people like/comment/reblog said old art to this very day).

I understand mainly OC artists feel this way that no ones gonna like their characters, or it just doesnt get reblogged enough in general but thats understandable too. No one is ‘selling out’ if they only do fanart. No one is ‘snobby or scared to get themselves out there’ if theyre really enthusiastic about their stories and worlds. Otherwise we wouldnt have fandoms int he first place, theyre all someones work. And hell, good for you if you draw both. It really is just a matter of how you put yourself out there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’ll take some time but there IS always someone out there that likes your stuff. And sometimes you just have to be content with making work for yourself, work that makes you happy. The online art world is tough especially when youre small but once you fall into the depths of bitterness its hard to rewire your mind...

This is how yall should be looking at your/others work majority of the time: You: seeing cool art Your mind: omg thats beautiful! i wish i could draw and paint like that. i should practice more , try out some poses and anatomy or implement what they do into my work. i wanna make a cool ass piece like this too i feel so pumped to draw and work!!

And that’s that! Do yourself a favor and be happier you bastards! Its tiring being negative and sad all the time and i want tf out of it. Its so very tiring and annoying to be sad and bitter as shit!!!!! My goD

I can’t really think of anything else to add to this and the text may appear angry sometimes as i was very heated when i wrote this but tried to tone it down a lot hfkds. Im not some ‘art guru goddess with supreme skill uwuw’ but advice is advice! It’s always up to the person listening to take it or not.

I’m gonna end this with one of my favorite art quotes of all time from t h e Arin Hanson himself. Because it really is true.

Get yourself out there, practice towards a level that makes you content and try to have more fun with loving your work.

It’s taken me a long while to post this, as i’ve been feeling this way for...at least a couple months??? but i finally put it all out there i just needed to do this lol. Sorry if i mightve repeated info sometimes here and there?

This post is just as much of a call out to my own actions but more so @ those of you that specifically do this!

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extradan · 6 years

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Hey I like your art a ton and I was wondering just how long you have been drawing and working to improve as an artist.

Oh my gosh haha thank you so much for liking my art!

I have been drawing for the longest time, I think ever since kindergarten, well at least the artistic dedication!

I used to draw my when i was in middle school, starting from fourth grade i have been drawing more and more frequently until fifth grade in which I was drawing on a daily base, back then I would also be sitting and making animations on flash, which unfortunately I dont have backups of

but from middle school, up to high school 2012, my art never improved, it was just all the same all the time, I was back then on ritalin and I decided to start my first pony blog, while updating my blog, I couldnt consider yet Tumblr being part of the effective social websites that I go on as nobody was following me and I had no one to intreact with back, tumblr would be the thing i would check once every few days, it was nothing to me but a mere another google plus, until i was sponsored by catfood-mcfly back when he was running the Herpy Derpy blog, and thats where I got recognized and I was determined to continue my activity on tumblr as an ask blog, and I have gotten to become more interactive with people, being inspired by the many of the art I have been seeing from following other people, I would adopt and experiment with what I saw mostly shines through their art, and 2012 was the year I have made the biggest change in my art throughout the months, whitin 6-8 months I have improved by a ton! tumblr was a very resourceful to the evolution of my art! and I also made so many friends and I have as well learned to become a better person! I am a better person of who I used to be in the past, and i am still improving! there are still a lot of things I need to work about myself as a person!

Also stepping out of drawing in flash and starting doing my stuff in sai was revolutionary to my art, flash back then wasnt recognized fully as an animators program by macromedia and neither by adobe, as they saw it an all purpose program for making goptimized ames and ads, only until all browsers and webpages grew out of flash and flash officially was blocked by all browsers since you could have implanted malicious codes into flash files, only then flash recognized as an art and animation tool for creators.

So moving to sai allowed me to build sketches and bodies easily and paint and yadda yadda and it was all great and helped boosting my art upwards

Flash limited my improvement as I wasnt drawing sketches on flash since you couldnt just lower the opacity of the layer you drew the sketch on, you would have to go through several actions to achieve that, but you would be lowering the opacity of your selected drawing and not the layer, I couldnt also paint on flash and flash ever since the stone age had those horrible vector tools that SUCKED DICK unless you do stretching and smoothing and fixing, in my opinion at least, they did improve the vector system a bit BUT IT STILL SUCKS, i prefer bitmap brushes more, which why I prefer Toon Boom harmony as a program for animators.

If you have been back in the days, you could have watched me go through a several phases! like drawing like atryl, raikissu’s shading and coloring styles, florecentmoo’s shading techniques and eye pupil style, and I uhh.. dont remember the rest, but theres have been a lot of artists out there whom I adopted artistic traits like:

theflyingtacoz, kittentoots(drunk fluttershy), w300, Santi, belaboy, dr idiot, inzergue (big impact on my current style), David (the guy who now works on mighty magiswords along with kyle), fungasm, colorlesscupcake (known as caek now), ahappypichu (a pretty powerful current impact on how i paint my art today), uhh, also “pinkie in private” which, to this day, drawing the way the draw the cheek for their characters, and some other artists I that I couldnt come up in my mind but I did adapt a trait or two from.

My current big inspirations are artists who work on OK KO and as fake as it might sound, my own fiance! yes!! they have been an inspiration for me for quite a while even back at 2012, but to how I viewed it, I never really dared to adopt anything from them because I was so out of their league, and my art was still shaping and i already had ideas that I wouldnt think would work if i mixed some of their’s, but now that my art have been developed and has a solid state of how it looks, they inspire me so much!!

Drawing ponies was probably the best practice I have ever had that thanks to that I have pushed so far in the art that I do, ponies are so simplified!! and easy to draw! it allowed me to produce more and that means that it allowed me to experience differently with each time!

It helped me improve with a lot of stuff like gesture, facial and painting and other other minor stuff! drawing ponies was such a booster seat for me!

But unfortunately, from drawing ponies alot you wont learn how to draw humans, which understanding muscle, action line, figure and bones is so crucial for drawing, anything really! understanding how the body works is extremely fundamental and its there for you to know how to manipulate the drawings your making, of any specie, its not there to just teach you how to draw the anatomy of the human body, that will only serve as a plus.

I have learned a lot from ponies but how bodies work and draw clothes lmafo, to this day I cant draw clothes for days

in 2014 I ordered a really good book and I have polished my anatomy and human drawing skills, I yet dont know some stuff because i stopped practicing because of varios reason like relationship, access and physical health.

In the begging of the year I acquired a cintiq and it been nothing but dreadful to me, but im using it because i spent.. so much money on it.. and i have been so concerned about bringing it to my home country as well.. but it has the adventage of a screen so...

its just, I dont have a low enough desktop or high enough chair to draw on it, its always above my shoulder no matter the angle and it puts so much weight on my shoulders, the thing is heavy too so its not something you could lean on your legs while you draw, neither it is portable, it made work much more harder and difficult and I wasnt drawing as frequesnt because my time wasnt so so enjoyable, my 2015 as well become a dreadful year to me and I was feeling guilty and shitty everyday, and it was my fault because it was all my doing and i let myself feel that way, and I had barely the stamina to work on my art ever over the year, I also lost my passion and motivation to draw and basically it dragged also to 2016, I drew a few commissions but I didnt produce much art neither, then I flew over the united states and I didnt have acess to drawing for 4 months as i was away from my equipment, my fiance had the equipment, but that means that I would have to use their computer for all the dedicated hours I use to work on my art and they would have nothing but a mere phone to entertain themselves, also our time togehter was really precious and every minute counted, so we rathered having fun other than doing work work work

2017 came and I still had the sense of drawing lost in me, I would draw whenever i would have a piece of paper available to me since I find fun in that, since im comfortable and cozy and i dont have to concentrate the entirety of my body weight on my hand and arm as i draw, but I would never draw on the cintiq unless its a miracle or if had a crazy comic idea in mind that i had and MUST HAD executed, i almost didnt draw anything in 2017, and neither in this year but the ok ko drawing i have recently created, but I found a new comfortable focus and its doing 3d, I am using my mouse to do everything and i dont have to feel my horrible chair scraping againt my butt like sandpaper, and I dont to feel like my shoulders are about to give up, I did try Tam’s 13hd and it was so much more comfortable and nice to draw on as i could put it on the bed or on my legs, but I cant afford another expensive piece of equipment, especially not in this generation of technology, wacom fucking sucks but no other brand is willing to be their competitive because tablet is not the purchase the average person would make.

Another reason why I have been so held on drawing and using the cintiq, which was probably the most major thing was it’s total, hot flaming shitty garbage diarrhea poopy stank abysmal horrible disgusting nasty dumbass smelly drivers which made every chance i had to draw a miss because i would battle myself from 30 minutes to over a hour fixing my tablet to draw a single thing, and its been like that every time i would turn my cintiq on! the situation was severe and everytime i would find a solution, it would be later suppressed, it was so harsh that i had a few months in which nothing I would do would make the drivers function, i was basically tabletless, so many, and a lot of opportunities for me to create a piece of drawing was flushed in the toilet with the rest, and so it was a deeper burden on my passion, determination and motivation to draw.

But yeah, now im doing 3d and it feels like a fresh hobby to me since I felt that im not going anywhere in and with my art (even though I yet have to learn how to draw bodies better, let alone drawing limbs, feet and CLOTHES!!)

and now the future has yet to be revealed!

#kawaii-corvid

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1800-seungshine · 7 years

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responsible.

member: bae jinyoung genre(s): high school!au, hoobae!jinyoung, fluff summary: all the matters regarding bae jinyoung’s grades is now placed in your hand but it seems like it’s not just his grades that you’re going to take responsibility for. (requested - bullet point format) word count: 2.3k

note: a requested scenario by an anon! i’m so sorry if it’s really lengthy hahah but i really really hope you like it ;; thank you for requesting, once again it means a lot! as well as that, many thanks for the likes, follows and reblogs - words can’t say how much i truly appreciate it, thank you thank you ; ~ ; < 3

all a’s with a rank that never goes below than top five

you wouldn’t be a member of the student council for no reason

warm, friendly, responsible and hardworking - you’re the definition of being a blessing

esp to the teachers bc you’re one of those kids who actually help them and not give them a headache (unlike me smh)

like tbh you’re not the school president

but somehow people treat you like you are bc why aren’t you the school president??

you’re even more responsible than the school president and your attendance is better

the votes are rigged!! jk it’s not

a lot of students know you, not just because of the student council

but because you’re a really great tutor

like the greatest

you could probably take over the teacher’s job bc everyone just comes to you and asks

that’s why the teachers love you so much lmao

you have so much patience and kindness that you don’t mind getting bombarded by questions and taking your time to teach others

like forget the religion of hwang minhyun

that doesn’t exist here bc the religion of the “angelic sunbae” does

yeah you earned that endearment after some random seventh grade kid yelled that out loud when you were in tenth grade and somehow it stuck with you all the way till your last year of high school

now everyone just refers to you as that name

and that’s how bae jinyoung knew you at first

“jinyoung-ah. you see that sunbae? she’s the school’s angelic sunbae.”

jinyoung looks at the direction of his friend’s point, the smile that lights up on your face and the way your eyes crinkle as you laugh with your friends causes his stomach to churn

but this boi isn’t really the brightest so he thinks he ate something

yeh like his feelings oOHOOHOH

“angelic sunbae?” jinyoung softly repeats to himself, his eyes never leaving you.

that of course wasn’t really proven until his grades drastically dropped

apparently it dropped so much that his teacher deemed it as concerning

like the boi only went from 98% to 70% - at least he passes look at me i winged an aural test and if i get 50% i’ll be over the moon

but this cute baby did admit he was struggling with the topic they were currently learning despite feeling so insecure confessing it

so the teacher was like “issok boi, i gotchu.”

and by that his teacher meant “lemme hit you up with the only student who i know can do this bc im not dealing with your crap”

idk if your life is all sorted or you just don’t seem to have one but you happily agreed tho bc why the hek not

hence why you enter the school library and start searching for this student

you weren’t really expecting much bc you’re obviously used to helping other people when it comes to academic things

bUT HOT DAMN THIS CUTE GUY WITH A SMOL ASS HEAD STARTS CHALLENGING YOU INTO STARING COMPETITION

and bc he was the only person in that area, you assumed that he was the one you were gonna teach

i mean you were prepared to teach him

didn’t mean you were prepared for the fact that he was really handsome

you walked up to him with an apologetic smile bc even if you came right on time, he still had to wait and you felt guilty for that

“sorry, were you waiting long? i didn’t know you’d come earlier.”

meanwhile jinyoung’s just staring at you, looking all flustered and cute bc he’s freaking out on the inside

he just doesn’t know what to do in front of you so he simply shakes his head bc sha sha sha yknow

so there’s like this five second silence of awkwardness before you flash a smile at him

and your smile makes him feel alive again like is that even possible when he’s been living the entire time

“well i’m y/n and i’m going to tutor you from now on but don’t fret, i’m not that strict and as your tutor, i’ll do my hardest to make things easier for you to understand but don’t be shy and speak up if you have issues okay?”

he’s not really giving you a reply bc he’s just listening to how nice your voice is since it’s really soft and gentle

after all he hears on a daily is daehwi whining and jihoon with his stupid aegyo experiments so your voice is something he could get used to

but bc he aint answering, you’re just looking at him waiting for a reply and he’s making this entire thing more awkward than it should be so he just nods

apparently for you, that nod is enough to make you feel happy and giddy so your smile widens and he swears that the whole room just became brighter

“so, do you wanna get started??”

tIME SKIP WHOOSH WHOOSH BOIS

okay so you’ve been tutoring for about a few months, three days a week

at first he clearly wasn’t the talker but that was okay

your social skills were as good as the visuals this boi was blessing you

but bc you were really friendly, he opened up to you pretty quick

and now he’s just being a little piece of r00d crap

nowadays he’s treating you like you’re the younger one by patting your head and using his height advantage to tower over you before giving you that damn cheeky smile

sometimes he even drops honourifics and calls you whatever he feels like

“did you just call me a little kid- ” “no, sunbaenim. i didn’t say that you must have been hearing things.”

lol who says you were complaining tho, you’re growing fond of him

but ofc i made you oblivious so you wouldnt really know that you’re not just fond of him, you like him ahah howbowdah

meanwhile underneath cheeky!jinyoung is filled-with-anxiety!jinyoung who ain’t up for the fact that he could get busted anytime soon

busted for numerous reasons

cos for one, he basically knows everything you’re teaching him bc he’s outright smart

that topic that he confessed he was struggling with?

yeah that was highkey a lie, he just didn’t want to outright tell the teacher that he binged watch fancams and fan-made videos of pristin’s joo kyulkyung instead of studying for the exam (pls support pristin btw)

and second, jinyoung may or may not have started liking you

it was weird bc at first he thought he was just sick

but what sickness includes symptoms of making excuses to see a person, trying their hardest to make that person laugh and being restless at night bc all they to do is think about the person??

that’s right folks

influenza

i mean,,,

love yeh that

so those marks of his that doesn’t necessarily show improvement??

lmao jinyoung purposefully answers them incorrectly to keep his scores down

bc you tutoring him is the only way he can keep seeing you

but haha guess what it’s that time of the semester again where he gets more exams

this time tho you were gonna motivate him even more

“okay, baejin.” you say to him, pulling out his favourite drink and placing it on the table

he’s just looking at it with a cheeky grin, “wahh sunbae, i didn’t know you were the type to bribe people.”

you playfully glare at him but a smile still reaches up to your face a nano-second later

“i’m not really the type to and it’s actually my first time.”

jinyoung just grins, his eyes never leaving you as he leans forward on the table, “i must be special then.”

of course, you roll your eyes bc wow this kid used to be so shy towards you at the start and look at the boldness he has now tsk tsk

“you are special.”

enter jinyoung’s heart going ‘dugeun dugeun’ (totally making a snl reference)

jUST KIDDING HIS HEART’S HAVING A HEART ATTACK IT’S DOING BACKFLIPS IN HIS CHEST

ok ok why am i getting excited i know the ending to this wheezes

“ever since mr. jung gave me the responsibility to tutor, your grades also falls into my hands,” you begin in a rather serious tone that is immediately contrasted when he sees you grin again, “and whilst there isn’t really noticeable changes onto your results, this test might determine things so i’d like to propose a deal with you.”

jinyoung simply raises an eyebrow cos he aint taking you seriously after all the silly antics you’ve been showing him for the past few months

“y’know, this would have been more effective at the start when i actually took you a little more seriously, sunbae.”

“well, i didn’t think of it earlier okay! i’m human too,” you slam your fists on the table gently with a pout,

srsly not a good idea to be happily stuffing your face with food bc he took a lot of photos of you, reasoning that “you’re just too cute. i can’t help that.”

“bUT OI- IM NOT DONE YET. LISTEN TO ME.”

jinyoung just watches you, laughing to himself bc you’re cute when you’re annoyed. “okay, okay i’m listening.”

“right, well if you get at least over 90% for two out of your upcoming exams - regardless of any subject, i’ll reward you by granting your wish.”

lmao this boi was doing his best to maintain a poker face and not let out that mischievous smile of his bc he’s gonna pass these test with flying colours.

“well what if i don’t get a 90% for my exams?” he questions causing you to think about it.

“i don’t know, you can be my slave for three months or something. i’ll think of the consequences later but do we have a deal or not?”

he leans back on his chair, holding his chin almost as if he’s thinking about it thoroughly

a huge lie cos he’s just damn pretending

“hmmm, 90% for all exams and you have yourself a deal.” jinyoung says with a confident smile

you let out a sound of approval, slowly clapping “since when was little jinyoung so confident? are you sure?”

“of course! so deal?” he extends his hand

grinning, you take his hand and firmly shake it, “deal.”

wHOOP WHOOP ANOTHER TIME SKIP COS HAHA WHY NOT.

you were waiting for him to arrive, casually sipping your favourite drink and his on the table

once you see him enter the library, you instantly jump out of your seat

his exams are finished and the results have been finalised, resting in his bag

but he’s walking towards you with an unreadable expression

suddenly you’re feeling anxious and worried bc he looks upset and you don’t like seeing him sad

“baejin...did it not go well...?”

he’s looking down, not giving a reply and just lets out a sigh

your heart’s close to breaking bc he must have put so much effort and hardwork into studying

yet the next thing you know

there are these exam papers on the table and it certainly aint yours so you look over them

and all his exam papers were all marked with a’s and nothing below 95%

so now you’re just confused and standing there frozen bc your brain isn’t processing it well

five seconds later you look up at him, a fist raised in the air bc you were gonna punch this guy for tricking you

your tears were gonna come out wth this guy srsly

but you see that smile of his, eyes filled with so much joy that you can’t help to forgive him

“yah! i got so scared - i was gonna start crying.” you whine, slapping his arm lightly

jinyoung just lets out a laugh, ruffling your hair. “sorry, i just wanted to tease you a little.”

you roll your eyes but still grin, “whatever, weirdo but i guess i have to keep the promise so as a reward, i will grant one of your wishes! have you thought about it yet??”

he sends you a wide smile before nodding, “yeap.”

“okay, what is it?”

“spend a day out with me.” jinyoung says but instantly back pedals by stuttering a little, “i mean - if you want to though. i’m not forcing you or a-anything.”

you look a him, trying your hardest not to blush and ignoring that slight skipping of your heart. “so, like a date basically?”

“i-if you want to consider it as a d-date.”

“okay. it’s a date then.”

jinyoung just pauses then looks at you with widened eyes, “wait- what?! really? you’d go on a date with me?”

so now he’s just freaking out mentally and emotionally bc he was expecting a cold-hard rejection

he even practiced the situation with daehwi

you’re just laughing, shaking your head in amusement bc this boy can be really cute, “yeah why not? it’s not every day i get asked out by a cute guy.”

jinyoung with his red ears, blushing cheeks and grin that goes from ear-to-ear feels like celebrating

he could go on the table and just dance right there and then if he had no self control

“but can i ask you something?” you stretch your arm to poke his cheek and he immediately nods his head

“how did you get above 90% for all your exams? i thought you were struggling with these concepts.”

jinyoung sends you one hell of a mischievous grin and you can sort of tell that something isn’t right, slightly stepping backwards as he begins to explain, “i may or may not have been lying about my low grades...?”

“oH MY GOD. BAE JINYOUNG - WERE YOU JUST TRICKING ME THE ENTIRE TIME??”

“ONLY BECAUSE I LIKE YOU! FROM NOW ON, YOU HOLD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY GRADES AND MY HEART.”

“THAT DOESN’T MAKE UP FOR IT - i mean it does bUT STILL! COME BACK HERE!”

and hence to end the day, jinyoung blasts out the library and into the beautiful sunset, laughing away as you start to follow suit and beginning the chasing game.

#bae jinyoung #jinyoung #wanna one #wanna one scenarios #wanna one imagines #baejin #jinyoung imagines #jinyoung scenarios #produce 101 #pd101 season 2 #so many words #im so sorry #i hope you like it

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lukewright12-blog · 6 years

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FMP FINAL EVALUATION

For my final, I have made a film. This film after seven weeks I think still adheres to what I said I would do in my original project brief. The film itself is a short film that explores a possible ever lasting imprint new technology will have on this world more in particular the impact holograms could have in the communication centre as well the impact virtual reality could have on a humans mental being and how real it could fell to someone, given the circumstance. So the underlying story of my film is that a man wakes up in a blank room completely unaware of his new surroundings and tries to make sense of them, after becoming increasing stressed he drops to his knees and tries to calm himself why this is happening a hologram appears and greets him, they then conversate but the man becomes more so frustrated as she speaks in enigma and doesnt reveal to him whats going on. Eventually she confronts him and asks him why he killed his family, in complete denial and shock the man becomes emotional and frustrated, the hologram then turns hostile on him and once he has got to his peak of stress he is pulled out to discover he had woken up in VR, as part of an experiment for a VR police interrogation program.

In this unit I have made vast progress from point A when this was only an initial idea to point B where its now a film. I have gone across a whole journey of researching, experimenting, networking with film professionals and making to get to where I am now. Personally Im really happy I got this opportunity to do my own project and just â€˜go for it as an inexperienced film maker and see what happens. On the other hand, did my final turn out how I wanted it to, well not even close, I made many errors during production due to both some errors I had had in pre-production as well as on set. In post is where I had the bulk of my issues as things wouldnt work, footage filmed wrong to do things to and I didnt have some essential footage I needed due to my battery dying a lot on set and my actors wanting to go home after a long day of filming. I then also had a massive problem in post with exporting, so the film is nothing like what I wanted it to turn out like and I think that could make it stray away from the brief a tad as its not as effective in portraying the story and message I wanted it to tell.

Methods as well as various platforms have been essential to this projects progression and my personal learning. So I really do credit the sketch book as my main source of development as it allows me freedoms to write and draw whatever I so please on the pages provided to let my mind run lose and develop my idea. I also think net working through Ravensbourne with the students in higher courses than me or who have been through these courses have helped with my idea development as hearing everyones thoughts is interesting and their ideas combine with what I can think up helps inspire new scenes and thoughts. The blog has been really useful as well in terms of only making my work better as reflecting on everything Ive done every day helps me to spot out things in which I have made an error in and see what needs to be done to improve my work next time. I have also found that surprisingly my weekly plan in my project proposal has helped me leaps and bounds as I have followed it religiously the past seven weeks and always reflected in my blog to check I was on schedule to meet the work in which I had set out for myself in the weekly plan. This has kept me more on target than ever and has made me think about the bigger picture more and about what is essential to the project. Keeping on track has helped me a lot with developing my project and being able to develop further if I distributed my time rightly.

In terms of targets met I managed to make a short film, and create my hologram in my short film. In terms of whether it meet its requirements to portray an imprint of new tech which in my film is holographic communication and the effects of VR on a human, will be down to how well the film reads now that its had to be drastically cut back because of my export problem that turned into a nightmare and me having to cut a lot of footage because of various issues. I thought I explored the internet very well to squeeze as much information on what I wanted out of it as possible, I also think this research informed my film well even though the film isnt great. I didnt really add any new targets but I think personally I meet all the ones is set to some extent.

Reflecting on my FMP I think I have gained the most valuable thing - experience. I have got to go out on my own and create my own project based around anything I so pleased as long as it adheres to the brief touch. It is around this experience that my ideas have developed. I think that what I done at first was dream. I maximised my idea and developed it to near full potential, I had a perfect image in my heads of how my project was going to look, I had researched how my hologram was going to look and how my film was going to play out in terms of development I had everything down right, until shoot day and post. This I see as a vital turning point in my project where my idea development almost had to change after I had got my footage as I had to then develop the idea to the point where it was realistic rather than perfect as it became quite apparent that perfect wasnt going to happen when I ran into my long list of problems. This I think was the most vital idea development as I then had to turn an idea that I had dreamed up into a realistic film that could be shown as I couldnt magically get the extra footage that I really needed as my actor had gone off to a job in New York for the next month to so re-shoot was not an option. This is where I had to think on the spot and manipulate the story and the footage in the edit to get a half decent story out that still somewhat portrayed the idea that I wanted to portray. This type of development I found way more useful to my learning; reflecting on it now as it was a more real world situation and could definitely prove to benefit me in the future rather than if everything had just gone prefect. However, I do still think its a shame I couldnt get the film out that I wanted to as Ive had to change It due to my issues, but saying this Im grateful I have a film that I can show that has taught me more than I thought it would have.

Personally without sounding like a snob I have not found group tutorials useful what so ever as ever time people commented on what to do next I was already one step ahead and probably doing it already, so in that respect I thought they were a waste of time for me personally and I thought I could have been doing more productive things with that hour and a half every week. Saying this I thought one on ones with my tutors was useful as they were more in depth and personalised. But the most useful feedback I had that I see as being essential to my project was networking with other students in courses higher than me as they are currently doing their FMPs and are experienced in FMPs as theyve gone through college and are doing their university degrees now. Two people in particular however have helped me out more than I could say, Cole who works at the I.T. Desk has a degree in Motion Graphics and Can who is just finishing third year of Digital Film here. They have helped me with developing my ideas and have invested a lot of time into me giving me feedback and honest opinions on what I should be doing and what I need to do going forward.

So next time I definitely need a crew what has become apparent to me that is if you try to do everything by yourself you will struggle very much. As on shoot day I was so stressed out where I was trying to direct, manage actors, help my mum do sound, move my brother so that the green screen didnt have white light shining thought the back of it, camera man/shoot the whole thing myself so the clapper board and move the boom mic all at the same time. Also in post turns out I need an editor as I cant edit to save my life, I can see the shots and I know what I want when editing I just cant get it myself as Im too impatient and get stressed out by editing, saying this I defiantly need to improve my editing skills. So as a general I need to arrange to a have a crew next time. A big thing I also need to take away is that I need to be more prepared for disaster because this time round I had disaster in the edit and if it wasnt for Can and the guys at I.T. my film may have not came through.

In terms of skills Ive developed for industry, I think Im a better director now as Im starting to pick up on my mistakes and critically evaluate what needs to happen and what weve done wrong. I also think Im learning how to manage people better which is essential for time management. In terms of technical skills, I am learning slowly how to edit although I do not like it and dont intend to be an editor but Im learning none the less.

Building on my skill set going forward I strive to become a better director and be able to make even better stories that can adhere to even harder briefs. I need to build on my editing and understanding of editing going forward as its essentially the end game of film making once youre on the editing stage. I need to be more prepared as well going forward as I need to be able to be more resilient to problems that I face and more relaxed when dealing with them as stressing doesnt help your mind set very well and can be harmful to the bigger picture of a project.

Next year I intend to continue film making, continue getting better at it, continue making mistake and hopefully become the best film maker I can be so that one day I can get to where I want to be.

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