#word of honor ep 04
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Word Of Honor - 1st watch insta thoughts - Episode 4
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
In case you haven't read my previous episode summaries, you should know that I now refer to alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy as Baby Xu (because he gave the name Zhou Xu), Wen Ke Xing is Smirky Xing, Ke Xing's female travelling companion is referred to as purple love of my life (because she rocks).
Alright let’s get started with Episode 4:
:O WHAT? Smirky Xing is qi-gong-balling nuts? Is he the red masked nut guy??? WTF? Is that why he said he's terrifying? Is that why he wasn't there at first during the fight in the dusty place? Waaaahhhh
Aww, he stilll wants Baby Xu and himself to be on first name basis. Giving horses as gifts. He's so determined.
Oooh the beggars caught up. And they openly state they're with 5 Lakes and want to bring the kid back to... some guy, I already forgot. Hmmm. The kid is instantly scared and hides behind Baby Xu. Baby Xu looks worried too. Nobody trusts 5 Lakes. Smirky Xing also doesn't trust them.
Wow, that's a lot of beggars.
Oh no, Smirky Xing insulted the talky beggar guy. And now they wanna fight.
Woahooooo, Baby Xu is pissy at Smirky Xing, but he trusts him to take care of the kid while he throws himself into the fight. Nice.
Less than 6 minutes in and we already have a million times more action than in the last episode. Thank you.
I see what smirky Xing meant when he called Baby Xu elegant. He is a VERY elegant fighter.
Offering nuts again, lol. Doesn't he know that the kid never wants to eat?
But jokes aside, the way Xing and the kid don't even go far but stay close enough to watch shows really well that smirky Xing is super confident in Baby Xu's fighting skills...
Oh no, they broke the alcohol jars, Baby Xu is gonna be so pissed.
And Smirky Xing is kind of an ass, teasing Baby Xu about his promise to keep an eye on the kid, while the beggar is chasing the kid around and Baby Xu is doing all the work.
Ahhh, it's cause he wants Baby Xu to admit that he needs him. Hehe, smart. Evil but clever.
:O The beggars got swords in their sticks! Cheaty little fuckers.
Baby Xu is fighting a bazillion beggars at once, no problem while the kid is almost caught.
Oh no, Baby Xu is mouthbleeding. That's never a good sign.
Oooooh, Smirky Xing notices and instantly steps in. No more teasing.
Oh how the turntables. Baby Xu and the kid flee, while Smirky Xing takes on the beggars. Nice. Sharing the workload. Like good husbands. Smirklord ftw!
Oh no, Baby Xu is worried about being a loser. And now he's doing the smelly meditation thing again. Awww :(
Meanwhile Smirky Xing has killed all the beggars, and it's not even shown on camera. Like... he probably did it with a determined look, some nut throwing and a snap of a finger or something. Impressive.
LOL, the purple love of my life comes on screen, looks around and has this, "Aww, dangit, he's on a killing spree again" look on her face. So this happens a lot, I gather.
She's concerned about the cleanup and the aesthetics, lol. My queen.
Whoa, what's that? Two tied up girls on a boat. And a jerk. I don't even know him but I know that much. Character introduction 101.
Oh wait, my purple love stops him. She knows him. He's one of the mountain ghost guys? And she knows him? There's a connection. That probably means that Smirky Xing really is nut guy. :O :O :O
She's striking a deal. And I didn't catch what she asked jerk guy to do in return for keeping him tying up girls a secret. But he leaves to do it.
Wow, Baby Xu knows how to cook. And offers the fish to the kid. And the kid ACTUALLY TAKES it. Impressive. I thought he hates food.
Ah, no, he spit it out. Okay. My worldview has been restored. And Baby Xu is not a good cook after all, lol.
My purple queen shows up and explains how to cook fish, lol. Yeah, they wish they had her cooking skills.
Oh, and baby Xu actually asks about Smirky Xing's whereabouts and looks longingly towards the boat where my queen points to.
Very lovely scenery, with Smirky Xing plaing the flute on the boat, and the two girls (who were previously tied up, I think, I still suck at recognizing faces) are enjoying his company, preparing drinks and listening.
Clearly Smirky Xing is playing just for Baby Xu. And then jumps off the boat with a flute twirl (clearly a Wei Wuxian fan, and who isn't?!) and then fly-jumps over the water to the beach and Baby Xu.
Heh, tempting Baby Xu with alcohol and good food, Smirky Xing is really trying everything.
LOL, you can't sit with the cool kids Smirky Xing.
But he never gives up and recites poetry again. Okay, now some story about historic white cloth. And a sword. Wait, is the "white cloth" the sword? Oh, and Smirky Xing is hinting that Baby Xu's sword is so bendy that it might be the legendary sword.
Always digging for info. Always noticing everything.
Oooh, Baby Xing compares their relationship to the fish he threw away, calls it "raw/unrequited". Nice pun. BUT, the fish wasn't raw, you literally discussed with the kid that is was cooked through, you little liar. I see what's going on there. Unrequited my ass. Smirklord setting sails.
Baby Xu explains that he doesn't know himself and couldn't care less about knowing Smirky Xing.
Smirky Xing is such a sweet talker. This whole "I hurt when you hurt" spiel... blergh.
He called him "My A-Xu" awww, cute. Also super invasive.
Some dark figure is playing headach inducing music. Huh? What is going on?
My purple queen and the kid are affected and Smirky Xing, stops them from running off by placing his hands on their backs. How? What?
Wait, Baby Xu plays the flute as well???
Everybody's a musician.
Oh, it's a music fight. The acoustic waves are hitting each other.
And the girls on the boats are jumping off, because they don't have Smirky Xing's hands holding them back.
Whooooooo, Baby Xu's flute sound lawnmowers the grass and the other musician down. Nice skills.
Oh, it's an assassination skill. The one that the dark figure used. :O A music assassin!!!
LOL, Baby Xu apologizes for getting Smirky Xing's flute dirty. Honey, he 100% won't mind your spit.
Why is the kid puking? He hasn't even eaten anything. Oh, he's lacking martial arts skills to defend against the attack, got it, got it.
Awwww, the one who dislikes you is the one who is really good to you. Of course you would live by that motto Smirky Xing, you lovesick boy.
Okay, the kid wants to learn martial arts now. Wants to be Baby Xu's disciple. And he's kind of agreeing, even though reluctantly, because he... doesn't wanna look good in front of Ke Xing?
Oh a camp of assassins. Pretty girl assassins. One of them is getting a leg massage. Nice. Being an assassin has perks, it seems. Ooh, and she gets touchy with some victim guy.
Did that guy just kill the several-times-stabbed victim by throwing a bone at his head? lol
Oh, the music assassin is one of this group, k, got it.
What? Smirky Ke Xing playing this special meditation song means he has a pure mind? I'm with Baby Xu, I would never have thought so. So, he's not nuts guy? WHAT IS GOING ON?
Dude, he does NOT look like of pure mind while playing that flute at all. It looks very... not pure. This looks like a mating ritual to me.
Wait, is he telling my purple queen to kill the two girls she saved? I'm so confused.
Aww, he LIKES Baby Xu. Not that it's a surprise. But he admitted it. Heh. And, once again, my purple queen gets it.
Aww, Smirky Xing plays for his boy all night long. And Baby Xu finally gets some rest. Nice.
And Smirky Xing finally gets to sit next to his crush after all.
But he doesn't get to hold his hand yet. I see how it is.
LOL, tough women can't resist clingy men, what? Is Smirky Xing ever talking about anybody other than himself and Baby Xu?
Ahaha, Smirky Xing is such a bad liar. But really good at making Baby Xu feel guilty. Yes, yes, you poor man driven off the boat, aching from all the flute playing, riiiight.
LOL, he ends up the coachman. Nice.
Oh no, the grandparents are fighting nice undies tree master guy and the mini Wangjis. Why can't they be friends?
Why are they all after that stupid glazed armor, this is so annoying.
Oh no, now pleated skirt soldier boss guy is joining in as well. Which side is he picking?
Okay he's fighting the grandparents, but is he on friendly terms with undies tree guy? Because I don't think so. But the mini Wangjis knew him and seemed to trust him. So confusing all of this...
Okay and there's another new guy. In green and gold with a tiny mustache. Is he the one they were supposed to bring the kid to? Ah yes, okay. Uncle Zhao.
Wait, the leader of the something something sect is chased. Who was that? Undies tree master? I need a name chart mind map or something. I should make one and add on to it as I go along.
Anyway, end of episode.
Okay this was interesting, what have I learned? Baby Xu can't get rid of Smirky Xing, no matter what. The kid wants to be his disciple. My purple queen is 100% a smirklord shipper. There's a bunch of assassins out there to hurt... I don't know, everybody, possibly. Everybody seems to want the glazed armor. Except for Baby Xu who just wants to be left alone, and Smirky Xing who just wants Baby Xu. I feel like I'm getting the hang of this. Except I STILL don't know how everybody is truly connected. And Smirky Xing might be nuts guy but also maybe not because he's pure, but I mean, who are you kidding?
Goals for future episodes: I should really actually make that character name chart mind map thing.
Also, we have officially reached the moment, where I wanna continue watching, even though I'm tired and have other stuff to do. I bet the point of no return strikes during the next episode. I can feel it coming.
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一入红尘 便生因果
TIL how to say “fuck around and find out” in Mandarin.
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GJ and ZZH Updates — April 17-23
<<< previous week || all posts || following week >>>
This is part of a weekly series collecting updates from and relating to Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan.
This post is not wholly comprehensive and is intended as an overview, links provided lead to further details. Dates are in accordance with China Standard Time, the organization is chronological. My own biases on some things are reflected here. Anything I include that is not concretely known is indicated as such, and you’re welcome to do your own research and draw your own conclusions as you see fit. A glossary of names and terms often used can be found [here]. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or additions. :)
04-17
→ Audio from an hour long unreleased interview Zhang Zhehan did last August (pre-813) surfaced on Douban. A full text translation can be found [here]. At the time of this post QuelleVous’s team are working on a full subbed video and have released some short clips:
- On his next role: [Twitter] [YouTube] [Instagram]
- On becoming popular: [Twitter] [YouTube] [Instagram]
- On following his heart: [Twitter] [YouTube] [Instagram]
- On fan mob mentality (spoken by Tan-laoshi, not zzh): [Twitter]
- On being put on a pedestal: [Twitter] [YouTube] [Instagram]
- On himself vs his characters: [Twitter] [YouTube] [Instagram]
Fan Observation: This interview, specifically the second clip, is where the shorter voice clip that appeared on 03-18 is from.
→ Dragon TV took down Gong Jun’s COVID PSA video they had posted on 04-12 due to hateful comments being left on it.
04-18
→ Nothing of note.
04-19
→ A rumor was spread (originating from a newly registered account) that CPFs were trying to get the Instagram shut down by mass reporting it for impersonation. As well as being untrue, Instagram’s TOS only allows for accounts to be shut down for impersonation if it is reported by the victim themself and proven with photo ID. There is speculation of if this rumor was created to pin the blame on CPFs if Xie Yihua closes the account herself.
→ Antis posing as CPFs left hateful comments en masse on Gong Jun’s Instagram. Actual CPFs and JWXs posted positive comments and reported the hateful ones to try to counter it.
→ QuelleVous found that Xie Yihua’s son had made a comment on one of Su-Shifu’s podcast episodes on Bilibili on August 17th sharing that “his [Zhang Zhehan’s] Instagram isn’t completely his.” His account was deleted about half a day after QuelleVous posted about this.
→ A promo for MARRSGREEN was posted to Gong Jun’s Douyin and MARRSGREEN’s Weibo.
→ Gong Jun’s studio Weibo posted two photo ads for outfits by 361°.
→ LOCKnLOCK used photo ads of Gong Jun on their Taobao for wedding season and Parent Child Day.
→ Real1640 posted previously unseen bts footage of the Word of Honor ep.20 hug.
→ YA-MAN released a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.
04-20
→ DataWin posted its annual TV drama market analysis on Weibo. All of Gong Jun’s dramas that aired last year made it onto lists, with Word of Honor ranking highly in several categories. Zhang Zhehan’s name was included in full for the first time since August! The article was unfortunately taken down then reposted without his name not long after, but the original lists were later reposted to Sina News with his name still there.
→ 361° posted three photo ads featuring Gong Jun, the first two using the same photos from the previous day.
→ HOGAN posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun to their Twitter.
04-21
→ Several pieces of news regarding Xie Yihua’s merch:
- A rumor was spread that CPFs had bought hats, damaged them, then returned them and demanded refunds. As well as there being no evidence for this happening, there would also be no way to tell that CPFs were the ones responsible. [source]
- Multiple big fan accounts who have been supporting Zhang Sanjian were “too slow” to buy a necklace (the one worn in the Instagram videos) before it supposedly sold out, yet declined when others offered to sell them theirs. [source] Some haizhes who have trusted these accounts up to now cancelled their own orders following this.
- The photo used on the product listing for the aforementioned necklace has been found to have been taken in 2018 [source] [video evidence] and was retouched in Photoshop on 21-08-15—the same day CAPA put out their call to boycott Zhang Zhehan. [source]
Addition 04-24: [here] is a thread rebutting an attempted defense about the 2018 date.
→ More photos were posted to the Instagram account, immediately apparent as being from the same day as the previous ones. Caption (mtl):
“I will adjust the air conditioner to 24 degrees
I will adjust the water heater to 46 degrees
I will adjust the drink machine to 55 degrees
I will never forget the 105 degrees in the early summer of that year
One day I will realize my dream
and feel the temperature of your sea”
Fan Observations:
- There was a hotsearch about Yasukuni Shrine active on Weibo when these were posted.
- Once again no location has been set.
- It’s been noted that the caption uses some Taiwanese characters not used in mainland Chinese. [example]
- Weather in Beijing was between -3 to 7°C (26 to 44°F) in March—a bit chilly for what he’s wearing, especially considering he said in the August interview above that he gets cold easily nowadays.
- It was found that the earrings he’s wearing in these and the previous pictures—by a brand called Ambush—are currently only commercially available at Ambush’s physical stores in Tokyo*. Given that analysis of the photos suggests they were taken in the summer and that the earrings themselves were photoshopped to be more noticable, it’s been suggested that they may have been for an unannounced endorsement pre-813. The wearing of such a product under present circumstances would be unwise for obvious reasons.
*Correction 04-25: It was found that the earrings are also available at their Beijing store, but only to VIPs.
→ Gong Jun’s studio Douyin posted a bts video which seems to have been filmed at the same time as the one he posted on 02-13. Caption: “Guess what Boss Gong Jun is filming?”
→ HOGAN posted another photo ad of Gong Jun on their Twitter and in their Instagram story.
→ Roving Inspection Team made a post: “Soon, yes ♥ It’s not easy......”
Fan Observation: The post was made at 11:32pm, a 511 kadian. Obviously take this with a grain of salt.
04-22
→ Gong Jun’s studio Douyin posted the video that the previous day’s bts was from. Caption: “Feature film.”
→ QuelleVous and Bluebird posted findings about Sophie, a person who works under Xie Yihua who possibly aided in getting Zhang Zhehan’s name on CAPA’s November immoral artist’s list, has possible connections to a water army company, participated in the girlfriend rumors last July, and was one of the first people to spread the current round of rumors about Gong Jun, among other things.
→ Mengniu ice cream posted an ad featuring Gong Jun on their Taobao.
04-23
→ Xie Yihua/Sophie’s supporters tried to distract from the information QuelleVous was sharing by attacking a big name CPF. In retaliation, the CPF and others released a ton of candy that hadn’t been made public before—some are photos and short videos, many only hearsay.
Bearing in mind that these are rumors, here’s an incomplete summary:
- Butt smacking [video and testimonial evidence]
- Canoodling on set [here] and [here]
- Zhang Zhehan changed his schedule at the last minute to make it to the Tom Ford event last year.
- Gong Jun likewise changed his schedule so he could visit Zhang Zhehan while the latter was filming.
- Zhang Zhehan: “I also really like Gong-laoshi.”
- Gong Jun promised a co-star tickets to Zhang Zhehan’s concert. (I have a vague recollection of seeing the video footage mentioned, but don’t quote me on that. I’ve definitely heard this one before.)
And much more... 🍬🍬🍬
→ Gong Jun made a surprise appearance on the show Global Chinese Music, singing two songs: 迎梦而来 (flashing lights warning) and Light Up The Future. A full subbed video of his appearance can be found [here]. His studio Weibo later posted photos from the appearance. Caption: “With faith and enthusiasm, we will come to our dreams and light up the future together!”
Fan Observation Added 07-19: (I’m not sure why I didn’t include this before...) During the appearance, the host asked him what his favourite role was and he hesitated for a moment before saying his role from The Flaming Heart. Afterwards, there’s a moment when the camera’s not focused on him where it looks like he’s trying to hold back tears.
Additional Reading:
→ Flora’s Justice of the People daily timeline
<<< previous week || all posts || following week >>>
This post was last edited 22-07-19.
#I was all ready to post this and then Junjun said ''Wait one more thing''#Ending on a high note this week#Zhang Zhehan#Gong Jun#Word of Honor#woh cast#lld timeline#my sophie tag
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Word of Honor ep.04
#山河令#Word of Honor#wordofhonoredit#wohdaily#Faraway Wanderers#Wen Kexing#cdramaedit#cdramagifs#my gifs
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I posted 1,591 times in 2021
32 posts created (2%)
1559 posts reblogged (98%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 48.7 posts.
I added 1,024 tags in 2021
#word of honor - 574 posts
#fanart - 136 posts
#the untamed - 72 posts
#gong jun - 47 posts
#faraway wanderers - 40 posts
#tgcf - 37 posts
#kieta hatsukoi - 32 posts
#xd - 30 posts
#zhang zhehan - 29 posts
#wen kexing - 27 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#thinking abt that caption that said wkx celebrates pride 24/7 meanwhile early zzs is that 'what's pride day? what are they proud of?' meme
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
word of honor as whisper posts
2223 notes • Posted 2021-09-03 06:01:37 GMT
#4
HOW TO ASK SOMEONE OUT ON A DATE by wenzhou
2302 notes • Posted 2021-03-18 16:52:21 GMT
#3
some censored scenes from eps 1-8 giffed with the original lines, based from various lip-reading videos. (dialogues were rephrased a bit!)
OR: Wen Kexing h0rnee
2884 notes • Posted 2021-04-06 16:06:47 GMT
#2
@priestnet’s falling into autumn event - week 4: CHANGE
↳ reversing the gif to give these scenes a different flavor
3014 notes • Posted 2021-09-30 06:01:24 GMT
#1
out of context word of honor (1/?)
3179 notes • Posted 2021-04-19 16:03:08 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
#my 2021 tumblr year in review#GDAMMIT IM FINALLY ABLE TO POST YAY!!#ALSO tnx u tumblr for basically confirming how shl ruined (affectionate) my life#this is embarassing#i love them <333
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I posted 3,992 times in 2021
45 posts created (1%)
3947 posts reblogged (99%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 87.7 posts.
I added 1,848 tags in 2021
#aftg - 550 posts
#andreil - 326 posts
#cherry magic - 227 posts
#word of honor - 145 posts
#wenzhou - 142 posts
#neil josten - 122 posts
#shl art - 96 posts
#andrew minyard - 93 posts
#random - 77 posts
#wen kexing - 70 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#if there is one thing that i truly hate about social media is that it makes it too easy for fans to send shit or @ artists/celebs what-have-
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
the rooftop scene in ep 3 was sweet and important and poignant BUT kurosawa reaching up to his mouth when he realized that he unknowingly almost became adachi’s first kiss was hilarious
45 notes • Posted 2021-01-13 05:29:33 GMT
#4
i don’t have the spoons to write proper fic rn but i have Ideas for an Andreil Big Eden au..... is anybody interested in hearing about it? 👀
53 notes • Posted 2021-09-20 03:18:07 GMT
#3
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | 30-sai Made Doutei da to Mahou Tsukai ni Nareru Rashii (TV)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Adachi Kiyoshi/Kurosawa Yuichi
Characters: Adachi Kiyoshi, Kurosawa Yuichi
Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Domestic Fluff, feat. kurosawa's brand of midnight mischief
Summary:
Adachi hears a car barrelling through the streets below. It’s a quiet neighborhood in general, but in the deepest part of the night, every single noise sounds amplified.
Or maybe that’s just his insomnia speaking.
(or: Adachi and Kurosawa meander through the city on a cold winter night)
55 notes • Posted 2021-01-11 05:18:48 GMT
#2
we poke fun and laugh about how kurosawa has a ~wild~ imagination but never forget that adachi received one (1) hearsay from a semi-dubious source about kurosawa’s so-called ex and his brain immediately conjured up an awkward but quite intricate romance fantasy featuring kurosawa and the alleged ex
131 notes • Posted 2021-01-01 05:41:01 GMT
#1
"the aftg books are bad" "nora sucks" "the book covers are ugly"
yeah. okay. we get it. you're edgy. calm down. go outside. touch some grass.
189 notes • Posted 2021-04-25 04:46:15 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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Word of Honor - episode 04 art summary
Much riverside this ep, not a lot of good lanterns or decent shots of decorative bits, alas.
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Favorite clips of s5
Thank you so much @smblmn for tagging me, I love the idea! While the season as a whole was kinda underwhelming, it was full of amazing clips and I do have a lot of favorites. Here’s my top 10 and a few honorable mentions. I tend to have one favorite clip by episode, except for episode 8, which I REALLY didn't like. I didn't rank my picks, I'll just list them chronologically.
And since I didn't have the opportunity this season, I'm also making gifs to illustrate my picks :) I need the practice, as you can see.
Ep.1: Samedi 0:25 - Le choc
One of my favorite things this season has been the symbolism and the metaphors around sound and silence. In the first episode, there were 2 occurrences: Arthur seeing Noée for the first time underwater at the pool and him looking in the street as snow falls and slowly realizing he's gone deaf. I thought this was an amazing idea and that it gave disability more depth and beauty.
And that look at the camera in the last seconds… And the piano music… It was so chilling.
Ep. 2: Jeudi 20:59 - La nuit de
Globally, the scenes at the association were my favorites, even though I have a complicated relationship with them. Before shooting started in October, someone from the crew promised they would invite me on set during the filming of these scenes, but they ended up breaking their promise. I try to be as drama free as possible on the internet so I didn’t talk about it publicly but now that the season has ended I’m like “Why should I bottle this up, I’m not the the one who screwed up and I’m still hurt about it”.
The first time I watched that clip in January, I was heartbroken. Not just because of the missed opportunity but because I realised I never got to experience what Arthur did; there was no association for me, no one. But I still have a really soft spot for this scene because it's just gorgeous. The aesthetic is incredible and I totally understand what Arthur feels (minus the alcohol). Overall, as bittersweet as it is, it's probably one of my top 3 scenes this season (and it looks like it's one of David's too, this man has great taste). I can’t help but feel for the teenager I was and I wonder how I would have felt watching it then.
Ep.3: Vendredi 13:12 - Check de frérot
Arthur and Basile's friendship was one of the highlights of this season, heck Basile WAS the highlight of this season. Basile and Arthur never shy away from hugs and I'm living for it. I'm so looking forward to see more of Basile in season 6 (since I guess we'll see more of his relationship with Daphné). I loved seeing him be so well-intentioned, despite his usual clumsiness. Seeing Paul in a more serious register (for instance when Arthur lashed out at the boys in episode 6) was delightful.
Ep 4.: Lundi 19:02 - Les entendants
This one also belongs in my top 3. This is the representation I was looking for when I learned Skam France would tackle hearing loss and deafness. It doesn't come in the same package for everybody, and I love that they tried to show it through so many different characters. The situations described here are universal among deaf people.
On a more personal note, I loved that the extras were actual deaf people and sone of them well known. The lady interpreting is Jennifer Lesage-David, co-director at IVT, and she helped David and Niels a lot this season. And the girl speaking about her relationship with her dad is Lulu, she has a YouTube channel with her sister where they raise awareness about hearing loss. The instagram post that was published that day also featured a lot of people I more or less know.
Watching this clip was an experience in itself. I was attending a conference that night about deaf TV archives. The clip dropped 2 minutes before it started and I had to wait for it to end to finally watch. It was excruciating. Also, half the staff of IVT was there and I actually ended up watching the clip in front them. There were like "Wait? Jennifer was in Skam?".
Ep.4: Vendredi 20:43 - Ma vie a changé
While I'm still sceptical about Noée falling in love with Arthur so quickly (this sign song is unambiguous), I think this is one of the most beautiful scenes in the whole series. I don't care very much about this being romantically coded, I just choose to focus on the sign song, because I'm so happy they featured deaf visual arts.
My friend and I spent hours trying to decipher what the song could be about and our interpretation differed a lot from Winona's original text but we loved doing this. David was curious to see how my friend would understand it (especially the part where Noée signs a growing love which she cradles) and he was so happy when she understood it right.
For those interested, here’s what we interpreted (roughly translated into English):
Like two souls lost in the storm,
Swayed by the tide,
Never really seeing each other
Until ours eyes meet.
Something is growing inside me, something new,
That sets my heart beating.
You take off my mask and the truth in your eyes,
Fills my heart.
Look at me, I also see you.
Ep.6: Mercredi 18:31 - Un simple bout de métal
Also one of the scenes I was expecting the most this season, especially when it transpired that Noée was a bit radical. Her letter echoes my own fears and I thought it was really on point. Arthur admitting he needs her made my heart melt, he's so lucky to have met her. And Winona was amazing in that clip.
Ep.7: Vendredi 20:31 - Sourd dating
Just like for "Un simple bout de metal", I was also expecting that scene. I like that they made Noée and Camille voice their opinion like both faces of the same coin. It was a great way to address cochlear implants as they're a sensitive topic in the deaf community. I think this is one of the most shining example of the research work they did. They could have just stopped at Noée’s letter. But since they had deaf actors like Lucas, who is also implanted and has faced prejudices from radical Deaf people in the past, they had to show implants were not evil and that the situation was more complex than just “Doctors who want to act as gods”.
Learning Noée’s backstory was also interesting, although I didn’t expect her to be an "ex-implanted" deaf. She explains that she learned sign language at the association, which can't be more than 3-4 years ago (and if you look closely in ep 3, when Arthur checks the website, she says she joined the association at its beginning), but there's no way Noée would have that proficiency in sign language in just 4 years of practice. Winona's fluency in sign language is clearly that of someone who grew up with it. I loved being able to notice these subtleties.
Like all the clips at the association, it was a joy to watch because of the atmosphere and the sign language. The deaf extras were lovely. I actually got to meet a few of them last month and had an amazing time with them.
Ep.9: Vendredi 20:17 - Choisir pour toi
Coline. singing. Do I need to say more? I like that both Noée and Alexia had their shining moment and as clumsy as the story got, I appreciate that the writers didn't try to pin one girl against the other and make one superior. Noée had her sign song and Alexia her own composition. And both were breathtaking. What really gets me in this scene are the colors. I'm a sucker for aesthetics.
And of course, it was great to see Alexia stand her ground and break up with Arthur. I have nothing but respect for her and I'm team Alexia + happiness all the way.
Ep.10: Lundi 10:04 - La même vie que vous
When Melchior, Laura and the brochure subplot was introduced, I was a bit wary because their introduction scene was really, really awkward (it wasn't very well tied at first). By their second scene, at Arthur's place, I was sold. It was great to address accessibility and show that there's no point putting people with disabilities in the same bag, because there are hundreds of them and the needs are different. What doesn't change is our wish to live our life at the fullest, just like abled people. And this scene was precious. Seeing Arthur endorse this new part of him and support his peers was everything.
Ep.10: Vendredi 20:47 - Le meilleur des mondes
I'm still very emotional about this scene. Like… I don't know what to say, the music still sends shivers down my spine.
Honorable mentions :
Ep.1: Mardi 11:59 - 3, 2, 1,…
One of the only things Robin told me about the season when I met him at IVT was that the first clip would drop on New Year's Eve at 11:59 p.m.. That date became a beacon during fall and oh you wouldn't believe how much I waited for that clip to drop and how much I was looking forward to it. And it freaking delivered. The atmosphere, the tense music, that first shot on the loudspeaker, the confetti clogging it gradually… That teaser was a masterpiece.
Ep.2: Like… the whole episode actually. The alarm clock concept was genius.
Ep.4: Samedi 10:15 - Nouveau style
One of these gorgeous clips without dialogues that still say lots.
Ep.5: Samedi 10:03 - Maîtriser le langage
Oh my, this one was so relatable and a joy to watch. Camille explaining that sign language and mimes are different, Arthur being that dimwit asking about swear words and being told off for speaking… Kuddos to the deaf extras who had to pretend they didn't know any sign language, it was so funny (looking at you, Enzo).
Ep.6: Samedi 8:30 - Mythos
Seeing Arthur lashing out at his friends was cathartic. He roasted them so well, I wished I had his ability to speak so well when I'm angry. A+ work.
Ep.6: Dimanche 14:41 - Envie de rien
Alexia being the real MVP, as always.
Ep.7: Samedi 2:15 - Pool Party
It’s strange, because even though a lot of the story went down in this particular episode, it must be one of my favorites, like… tied with episode 2. It has probably a lot to do with the fact there were mostly deaf characters and that they had so much fun together. It’s something I can relate do, the sheer joy of signing the night away, which is something I didn’t get to experience until very recently.
As gorgeous as the underwater scene is, I'm not a fan of Noée and Arthur's almost kiss. I picked this scene because I love the moment of sheer joy that follows; everyone joining in the pool and having fun together. And of course the rise of Camika. I know it's a bit convoluted to have the two openly gay guys fall for each other first time they meet but… it just worked so well.
Ep.9: Mercredi 21:34 - Frère
This clip was about to make the top 10 cut when I remembered about another one and I had to remove it. Just Basile being lovely Basile.
Ep.9: Jeudi 17:30 - T'es pas tout seul
This clip was so important, bless the nurse and bless Jérôme. I wish Jérôme was my audiologist, to be honest.
Ep.10: Samedi 13:39 - Maman
Arthur's mom was so lovely and I'm so sorry she had to go through this shit with her trashcan of a husband. I liked her relationship with her son and her reassuring him he's not like his father was very soothing. I wasn’t the biggest fan of Arthur at the end of this season and I appreciate he’s well looked after after what he went through.
Ep.10: Jeudi 17:46 - Recommencer
Just like "Nouveau style" from ep 4, it's another one of these silent clips that has lots of meaning. Arthur putting back his glasses, slowly accepting his life won't be the same and that he has to move on. Except now things are clearer. Skam France love its symbolism and while sometimes it's very poorly done (like the love triangle emphasizing on Arthur's balancing between two worlds), more often than not it's very compelling.
Now I want to rewatch everything, so see you soon I guess :)
#skamfr5#Manon rambles#I'm so sad my gifs look so ugly#I spent a lot of time on them but smart sharpen in a pain in my butt#I can't control it very well#oh well#I'll practice and I'll get the hang on it#my edits
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BLOOD EAGLE | RELEASE OFFICIAL VISUALISER FOR 'WALL OF HATE'
BLOOD EAGLE | RELEASE OFFICIAL VISUALISER FOR 'WALL OF HATE'
Denmark based death metal band BLOOD EAGLE unleashed their album 'To Ride In Blood & Bathe In Greed' unto the world on November 22, 2019 via Nuclear Blast.
Today, the band release the video visualizer for 'Wall Of Hate' off part III of 'To Ride In Blood & Bathe In Greed'. Watch the video here: https://BloodEagle.lnk.to/WoH
The band comments, "What time is it? It’s grind ‘o clock! This song is about one of the biggest political controversies of all time. A true monumental failure for humanity. 'Wall of Hate' is a portrait of a xenophobic, warmongering presidential candidate, spreading fear and terror - which by no means deserves a mention. In the famous words of Barney Greenway 'Make love, not war' - we support that and hereby spread the grinding gospel."
Order 'To Ride In Blood & Bathe In Greed' digitally or stream the 3 EP's here:
bloodeagle.lnk.to/ToRideInBlood
Listen to the band's new tracks in the NB New Releases Playlists:
http://nblast.de/SpotifyNewReleases / http://nblast.de/AppleMusicNewReleases
The album was produced, engineered, mixed and mastered by Tue Madsen at Antfarm Studios. All artwork was created by Rune Stigart.
The band comments, "We are honored to have signed with one of the world's leading record labels, Nuclear Blast Records! The excitement level of BLOOD EAGLE finally finding the right home to release new material, is higher for us than we can ever express. There are people who want to hear this band, as was evident in the reaction to our performances on multiple European festivals in the last couple of years. We are excited and grateful to be working with the guys at Nuclear Blast, as they strongly will help facilitate and take the EAGLE to the next level.
On a musical note, we took all our inspirations from NAPALM DEATH, BOLT THROWER, MORBID ANGEL and a tad (like 2%) of MASTODON and threw them into the musical cooking pot. The result is our new release, 'To Ride In Blood & Bathe In Greed' which was released as three EP's in September, October and November. Out on Nuclear Blast Records."
More on 'To Ride In Blood & Bathe In Greed':
'Feed On The Blood Of Man' OFFICIAL VISUALIZER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRI8omrnxHI
'Unsung Zeros' OFFICIAL VISUALIZER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hz2uf_smcw
'Impact Irreversible' OFFICIAL VISUALIZER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVeI0wMH3oY
'Doctrine Of Death' OFFICIAL LYRIC VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8N9HKdVHDg
'Kill Your Tyrants' OFFICIAL VISUALIZER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adaQYsNsHjk
'Eyes Sewn Shut' OFFICIAL LYRIC VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giQ5lnJ1lPY
'A Life That Rots Away' OFFICIAL LYRIC VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXxegYnmx-w
'To Ride In Blood & Bathe In Greed' track-listing:
Part I
01. Feed On The Blood Of Man
02. Unsung Zeros
03. Impact Irreversible
Part II:
01. Eyes Sewn Shut
02. Doctrine Of Death
03. Kill Your Tyrants
04. For Those Who Remain
Part III:
01. A Life That Rots Away
02. Worship The Wolf
03. Wall of Hate
----
BLOOD EAGLE is a death metal band comprised of former members of VOLBEAT, MNEMIC, HATESPHERE, ILLDISPOSED and RAUNCHY, founded by two ex-guitarists, Franz Hellboss and Mircea Gabriel Eftemie (formerly of VOLBEAT and MNEMIC). After playing for years in their own respective bands, the two guitarists decided to team up and consolidate their passion for punk, grind and death metal alongside their best friends and touring partners. The band surfaced and raised traction for the very first time in 2013, by releasing a 3-song EP for free download, recorded at the Antfarm Studios with Tue Madsen (MESHUGGAH, BEHEMOTH, THE HAUNTED) at the helm. Playing select shows and festival appearances, the band kept writing material but never released it to the masses, until five years later.
So what do you get when you throw NAPALM DEATH, BOLT THROWER, MORBID ANGEL and a dash of MASTODON into a musical cooking pot? The answer is; BLOOD EAGLE. Glorified by the metal media as a Danish "supergroup" consisting of metal veterans, according to the band there is nothing super about it, other than their good friendship and love for old school death metal. BLOOD EAGLE is an unstoppable force, launching their long-awaited debut album in three parts: 'To Ride In Blood & Bathe In Greed' I, II, III via NUCLEAR BLAST RECORDS.
BLOOD EAGLE is:
Michael Olsson | Vocals
Mircea Gabriel Eftemie | Guitars
Franz Hellboss | Guitars
Mikael Ehlert | Bass
Morten Toft Hansen | Drums
www.facebook.com/bloodeagle.dk
www.instagram.com/bloodeagle_dk
www.nuclearblast.de/bloodeagle
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I posted 1,164 times in 2021
178 posts created (15%)
986 posts reblogged (85%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 5.5 posts.
I added 276 tags in 2021
#dmbj - 53 posts
#mousie watches cdrama - 37 posts
#mousie watches kdrama - 29 posts
#the devil judge - 29 posts
#atots - 26 posts
#mousie writes - 25 posts
#farscape - 22 posts
#love and redemption - 20 posts
#ultimate note - 18 posts
#winter begonia - 17 posts
Longest Tag: 106 characters
#the truly hilarious part is its a tiny fandom istg 4 years of my life on something no one is going to read
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
2021 Dramas Watchlist
Reviews will be added as they’re written but I like to let some time elapse between finishing a show and writing up my thoughts. Also any tag I use for the show will be linked here.
Currently Watching
Hospital Playlist 2
The Tasty Florida
Bad Buddy
Strangers from Hell
The Red Sleeve
Boys over Flowers - Thailand
(D)ropped/ On-(H)old
(D) Word of Honor (thoughts to ep 11)
(D) Fish Upon the Sky
(D) The Rebel (tag) (thoughts thru ep 4)
(D) Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding
(H) Ever Night (tag)
(D) The King in Love
Completed
Dramas
Gaya Sa Pelikula (tag) (review)
Ashes of Love (tag) (review)
Hello Stranger (tag) (review)
Go Princess Go (tag) (review)
The Uncanny Counter (review)
Hikaru no Go (review)
I Told Sunset About You (tag) (review)
I Promised You the Moon (review)
Love and Redemption (tag) (review)
A Tale of Thousand Stars (tag) (review)
Lovely Writer (tag) (review)
Ultimate Note (tag) (review)
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19 notes • Posted 2021-03-20 17:05:10 GMT
#4
See the full post
21 notes • Posted 2021-08-17 15:28:48 GMT
#3
See the full post
22 notes • Posted 2021-06-23 02:09:53 GMT
#2
See the full post
23 notes • Posted 2021-08-04 02:47:13 GMT
#1
2021: Drama Rankings - In Progress Shows
Stranger 2 (2/16)
Year: 2020
Country: Korea
Platform: Netflix
Look, I know this one is going to be good. I just know it. The whole cast of season one has returned and I cannot *wait* to see Lee Joon Hyuk be an absolute cockroach of a terrible human being. Bae Doo Na and Jo Seung Woo are also amazing and season one was so, so good, riveting and gripping. I watched the first two episodes and know we are going to be in for the same in this one. However, I just haven’t been in the right mood to immerse myself in it just yet. So I’m waiting for the right time, hopefully sometime next year.
Hospital Playlist 2 (5/12)
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31 notes • Posted 2021-12-27 03:16:36 GMT
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#my 2021 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#honestly the er ye appreciation post being in the top 5 is brilliant#also i was so damn proud of those devil judge gifs#i worked so hard on them#maybe now that i'm out of the tumblr dungeon i will get some notes
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I posted 4,981 times in 2021
83 posts created (2%)
4898 posts reblogged (98%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 59.0 posts.
I added 2,525 tags in 2021
#critrole - 1136 posts
#cr spoilers - 344 posts
#essek - 276 posts
#shadowgast - 276 posts
#word of honor - 107 posts
#the mighty nein - 81 posts
#d20 - 79 posts
#lmao - 76 posts
#infinity train - 76 posts
#caleb widogast - 74 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#see he was projecting! it was cruel but more like hey yo my inside is still pretty much the same it waa for a lomg time you will too type of
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Characters: Essek Thelyss, Caleb Widogast
Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, up until ep 132 at least, wrote this a bit before the adventure with essek started and took to long to finish but here it is, not hurt comfort or no comfort, they have a talk and essek is sad at the end, Angst, woobified essek, just a little
Series: Part 2 of like countless threads of possibility
Summary:
On a quiet night in the tower, Essek encounters Caleb by his door and finds himself asking him at what point their flirtations became more than just a way to garner favors.
For @shadowgastweek/day 1/free prompt
17 notes • Posted 2021-05-10 05:35:18 GMT
#4
title: on the floor, heart towards the sky
relationship: shadowgast (caleb pov)
summary:
During a scuffle with the Tomb Takers, Essek is badly injured and he and Caleb become separated from the Nein. Thinking this to be his last, he says some things he would have never dreamed of saying otherwise.
18 notes • Posted 2021-04-07 10:55:22 GMT
#3
image: a screen cap from twitter that reads: taliesin jaffe is a statistical improbability
23 notes • Posted 2021-05-28 07:37:24 GMT
#2
title: flowers are the way to a girl’s heart
relationship: jester/beauregard/yasha
summary: hanahaki au/multichapter
Her dad always told the same old stories at parties. But, drunk one night, he told a different story. About the flowers that he would spew every waking hour he couldn’t be with her mom. The love of his life. It only left him once he had confessed his love. It’s what people meant when they said you were lovesick, he said. Burns you up inside hot enough that everyone can see it, or just makes you start coughing up flowers.
She had thought her dad was talking shit like always, but turns out it's true. She should have guessed after she found out the hag was real too. Beau was in love twice over, and now some weird dumb love magic was punishing her for it.
26 notes • Posted 2021-03-29 21:41:31 GMT
#1
you know i just realized, Essek crying over molly even though he had never met him, that was because it was enough that the Nein loved him. They loved him and so Essek mourned alongside them. It wasn’t fair that their love wasn’t enough to save him.
And that parallels how the Nein's love was enough to utterly upend Essek’s world & change it for the better. Their love was enough to save Essek. And in the end, their love saved Molly.
Isn't that just beautiful. how that love inspired love in him for someone he never met?
49 notes • Posted 2021-05-28 09:04:38 GMT
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I posted 613 times in 2021
11 posts created (2%)
602 posts reblogged (98%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 54.7 posts.
I added 667 tags in 2021
#the untamed - 234 posts
#cql - 123 posts
#xue yang - 66 posts
#mdzs - 48 posts
#wei wuxian - 41 posts
#fandom - 40 posts
#xiao xingchen - 38 posts
#word of honor - 29 posts
#jiang cheng - 27 posts
#yi city - 21 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#not to appeal to age but if you don't remember what life was like before ao3 idk if you can fully understand unless you do a lot of reading
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Finished nirvana in fire, headache from so many tears. 54 episodes, March 1- April 1. Honestly would have been faster if my one friend wasn't so busy that she could only put in 6-12 hours a week on watching this. HIGHLY RECOMMEND UGH. I only wish there were more fanfic (that looked appealing to me). Read the first 2 chapters of the novel, the author was also the screenwriter and i hear it's 90% the same, but there's always more details in the book.
3 notes • Posted 2021-04-02 06:18:28 GMT
#4
it’s incredibly hard to make myself block word of honor spoilers, because i don’t give a fuck about the plot and just want the gay. I’ve never before bothered with a show that i care *so little* about the plot of. too many factions, too much maguffin. I’ve watched through episode 7 and i have so little idea what is going on. And this isn’t about cdramas in general! with the untamed and nirvana in fire, i took extensive notes and rewatched the first episodes before i moved on. (wrote down 22 damn names on ep 1 of nirvana in fire, should have gotten a character guide sooner)
anyway, i want to see gay gifs, but i will go for the actual best option and block it. there will still be new gay available when i catch up
5 notes • Posted 2021-04-10 00:05:15 GMT
#3
I LIKED EPISODE ONE OF LOKI VERY MUCH. I AM VERY HAPPY.
it is giving me things that i like, my tropes, my stuff, if you hate it or just don’t want to watch it, i completely understand. This opinion is coming to you from someone who cried for two hours over comics kid loki. Someone who did this for halloween in *2019*. (We were doing a comics group theme. But still. Not 2012. 2019.)
But. “Sex: Fluid”. This is the main thing I need from this show. All the psych stuff was exactly what I wanted, I’m just very happy.
I’ll tag loki, feel free to filter away!
6 notes • Posted 2021-06-10 04:31:00 GMT
#2
Last night we watched Word of Honor ep 10, and i expect I'm not alone on having some really mixed feelings there! Decided i wasn't going to rec the show until i saw more and could decide how i really felt. Tonight we inhaled ep 11-14 and i want to just skip all obligations to binge this incredibly overdramatic gay. I've also started announcing things i want to see in smut, so that's a good sign.
This is not The Untamed. I am not going to rewatching this multiple times in a year, i might never rewatch it in full - i just don't caaaare about so much of the plot. But I'm having fun enough to want to binge! Catching up to the current subs and having to wait till June or whatever to see it all is gonna be TOUGH.
7 notes • Posted 2021-04-15 09:34:41 GMT
#1
so netflix has many options for the thumbnail they show you for a show, and... netflix knows. THEY KNOW. I haven’t even been rewatching their episodes. NETFLIX KNOWS MY CRIMES. This looks SO GAY. Why isn’t this a whole show. Why. They know I want it. (read about the thumbnail thing here) https://www.vox.com/2018/11/21/18106394/why-your-netflix-thumbnail-coverart-changes
8 notes • Posted 2021-01-18 06:27:39 GMT
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I posted 2,007 times in 2021
30 posts created (1%)
1977 posts reblogged (99%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 65.9 posts.
I added 1,514 tags in 2021
#the untamed - 232 posts
#wang yibo - 180 posts
#cql - 179 posts
#xiao zhan - 169 posts
#mdzs - 165 posts
#lan wangji - 147 posts
#wei wuxian - 144 posts
#word of honor - 114 posts
#wangxian - 108 posts
#zhang zhehan - 76 posts
Longest Tag: 90 characters
#every time one of these show things comes up the last thing i watched will always be bones
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Happy Wei Ying Day! My little contribution to Wei Wuxian’s bday since I didn’t have the time for a full on drawing!
14 notes • Posted 2021-10-31 21:18:22 GMT
#4
Vincenzo is: So. Fucking. Good. I’m 5 episodes in and every episode just throws me and I am so thoroughly entertained! Like, holy shit.
I’m so glad I decided to give this show a shot. All because of Space Sweepers lol
18 notes • Posted 2021-03-11 03:05:14 GMT
#3
Just finished the Imperial Coroner and damn son, what a ride!! I loved this drama so much. It was so well written and well thought out! The characters were also very well developed and their relationships completely believable. I was intrigued from start to finish!! The mysteries were also surprising. I’m usually good at figuring things out but somethings completely shocked me! What a good year for cdramas so far!
21 notes • Posted 2021-05-30 01:38:04 GMT
#2
Alright, ever since I finished the Untamed back in September, I always saw people suggest Nirvana in Fire. After months of getting caught up with currently airing dramas, finally decided to give this a watch and man, I’m up to ep 9 and I love it so far. These characters are so clever, especially Mei Changsu/Lin Shu.
And I absolutely adore Fei Liu and Prince Jing. Love their no nonsense personalities, very refreshing compared to some of these schemers! Also, Jingrui of two surnames is so fucking adorable. I really hope nothing bad happens to him 😫
30 notes • Posted 2021-06-11 21:51:26 GMT
#1
Y’all, Candice Zhao in WOH just fucking slayed as Du Pusa. Her aesthetic was too good for me NOT to attempt!!
It’s been a while since I did any art so doing this was extremely freeing!
80 notes • Posted 2021-07-01 22:59:21 GMT
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Transcript - Time Talks Ep 40 - Melancholy Joy Mixtape ft. carla joy bergman
Transcripts for Time Talks Ep 40 - Melancholy Joy Mixtape w ...
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
song, melancholy, music, joy, talking, people, melancholic, love, feel, listening, thought, big, play, life, hear, playlist, sad, carla, called, sole
SPEAKERS
Tracy Chapman, Pet Shop Boys, Holy Cole, Sade, Burial, Final Straw Podcast, Bobs Your Uncle, Sole, Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush, SBTRKT (feat. Sampha), Chris, carla, Andre 3000 - Me&My, Time me, Jason/Maudlin Magpie & produced by A Thousand Vows, chris, Juice WRLD, Nat King Cole., Organized Konfusion
chris time steele 00:04
Welcome to Episode 40 of the time talks podcast part of the channel zero network. This episode I'm joined by another channel zero network member. My wonderful friend carla bergman. carla is co-author of Joyful Militancy with Nick Montgomery. carla edited the book Radiant Voices and put together the Emma Talks series, and collaborated on the work Pandemic Solidarity. Along with being an author carla is a filmography checkout joyful threads productions. On top of that, check out the podcast carla collaborates on. There's the Silver Threads podcast and the Grounded Futures podcast. These links are in the show notes. For this episode, we had a conversation and put together a playlist on the topic of melancholy joy, sharing some of our stories and the ways we use music to navigate life and living. Thank you to Awareness for the music and here's a brief jingle from a fellow channeled zero network member.
Final Straw Podcast 00:59
The final straw is a weekly anarchist radio show. It's fucking awesome and you're never gonna hear me say fucking awesome on our show. Because we're FCC regulated, there's a black part of my heart that that just flutters when you when you talk like that. Talk, then more yelling. it's a weird sort of like nice thing in a way but also can get kind of crushing at times the finalstrawradio.noblogs.org
chris 01:32
I just wanted to begin and say that you're a wonderful writer, poet, curator, conductor, filmographer, author, revolutionary, Joyarchist, artist, kinetic thinker and so much more and just wanted to thank you for doing this Melancholy Joy Mixtape. I was wondering if you could kind of open with what you kind of frame what melancholy joy is? Because when you first mentioned it to me, just the phrase put together a lot of things that in a way that I like sad music and how sad music brought me relief, and how I've been attracted to two minor notes and all that and just the vibe so I really meant a lot to me when you mentioned it to me.
carla joy bergman 02:14
That's really nice. It's an honor to be here. Thank you. And I would repeat all that back to you, that you are too - kinetic thinker and Joyarchist, and all that.. thank you means a lot. I'm a bit nervecited as the My Little Pony say, Just give me a second. Yeah, if it's okay if I can give a little bit of a historical story around it because it like everything with me and always has this like, aha moment. So similar. I've always been attracted to sad music. And it was actually we have a radio station in Canada, that's, I guess, a public radio called CBC and did really good shows on it. And there was an episode on this idea of melancholy music, and so I was what's that? And of course, they talked about Joni Mitchell a lot, a Canadian sweetheart. And I was like, yeah, that's real. And they had said the person I can't even remember who was on probably a musician in Canada, but they said, you know, melancholy just means a thoughtful sadness. And I was like, Oh, yeah, that's what I am. I'm like, thoughtfully sad. But as time went on, I went through just stuff that was happening on the global like, collective grief 911 happened, some other stuff, some personal stuff. I really noticed that through all my sad periods of time, I always had a belly full of joy. Best way to describe it, I just, Joy's just really, really big in me. So I thought about a decade later, I I think I tried to create a handle on Twitter, melancholy joy, but I had done a few forums, online forums... And a part of it was because, I had a bit of a judgment that if you weren't melancholic, you weren't paying attention to the world, and but that you could still have a thriving life. So it has a kind of a political resonance to it like it will not even it went beyond music. The story moves into militant joy, because militant, to me is more has more power, I guess, or more collective power. It's more active than melancholy. But the pandemic hit again, or hit and melancholy really resurfaced in my life. Collectively, I could feel that collective grief. And I was just really attracted again to listen to melancholy joy music and, really listening to your album that you put out this year. reignited that again in me and I think that's why I said sent it to you because I was like, Oh, this is melancholy, joy, music, then your newest one that you've put out.
chris 04:44
Thank you so much. That's so kind. And I also see the phrase you use of melancholic hope. And that's a really powerful word too. And I think that's kind of what you find in the melancholy joy is this hope of kind of listening to sad music or music that helps you reflect and re energize yourself again, and there's a hope in melancholy, of just even being able to verbalize or feel that you're melancholic is the hope because you're able, then you're reflecting and saying, like, I'm sad, I have sadness and anger. And I'm able to work with those now, and kind of water those seeds to work through problems. And I think that's one thing that music does so well.
carla 05:30
Yeah, I love that. Nick Montgomery, who co wrote joyful militancy started talking about Empire and joy, and our book, using music as an example. And that Empire has this really loud music that's really loud and drowns everything else out. And when I started, when you asked me to do this show, I was like, Oh, I wonder how melancholy joy music fits into disrupting that, because one of the things that I added to the conversation was that it's, the problem is listening. It's not so much that it's louder. I think that we, all the other music or other sounds are the other ways of talking with each other is there, it’s present. And there's something about that melancholic hope, like you say that it's there. Like the possibilities are there, the seeds are there, and they just need us to water them, as you so graciously said to me once, that I loved. Yeah, so yeah, I love that.
chris 06:23
Yeah, what you say of how it's there. That's really, I feel the explanation and so hard to explain it with melancholy joy in those terms, like it's something that's there, it's something you can feel, and it's like a vibe, and joyful militancy. I really liked the quote from Glen Coulthard. When you mentioned you all had mentioned that he put his finger on something of sadness and anger and how they often stem from love. And just a little bit of this quote is: "I think that for the somber, melancholic militant, I get it, I understand it, how could you not be, and this is my point, the only way you respond to the world like that is because of some base sort of individual and collective self respect, some love for oneself and others, were the land that you are being violated in a profound way. This produces melancholy, anger, whatever, they're not separable." And I really thought that that whole quote is just powerful. And for anyone who has a book, it's on page 175. So there's no citation violations there.
carla 07:27
Nope. You can also get the book for free online.
chris 07:32
Yeah, I wanted to. I really thought that that quote was, he added more to this conversation too.
carla 07:38
Thanks for finding it. I need to put his whole interview up. It's so incredible.
chris 07:43
That'd be awesome.
carla 07:44
Yeah, that's really good. Because we interviewed him, obviously, because he talks about resentment and anger so much. And it was, like affirmative theory. It includes anger and rage. It's not negation, right, like, negation something else. And so I, thank you for bringing him in. Because I think that's a really important distinction about where melancholy fits into the conversation right now. I worked really hard to not be a melancholic person. So it's like dang, it's back again.
chris 08:17
Well, yeah, I hope it's like a productive melancholy joy. I mean, that's what I wanted. That's what I really felt with this mixtape. And then it brings up deeper discussions on our end. And, feelings and, and just other reactions that I feel are productive in thinking deeper about society. And a lot of these things are produced from such a disgusting messed up society, at least with my picks that helped me find ways to navigate through these parts of society. So before we start, I was just going to just give a little intro on why I picked these, a whole foundation of how I picked them. And I just wanted to say that I framed how I picked my choices with assuming that there's a lot of nuances and and I'm sure that's why you picked yours as well, that they have nuances that they're not just the songs but they relate to life, your life and timeline. And I picked these songs for a few reasons. For one, they may sound like they're more melancholy songs, but they bring joy and solace. They are often songs I go to when I feel no more hope or little hope, songs I go to, to recharge, to recalibrate, to keep reminding myself that I'm not going to feel this way forever. And along with these choices, when I'm stressed I often find I get attached to a song and it becomes my crutch. I don't know if you're that way. They become my friend when I'm lonely and alienated, usually from work and ironically self imposed isolation that I often do unknowingly and then realize ...these were also songs that were some of my only friends during tough times that helped me build me back up again. Hopefully they can be tools for others and spark other discussions, another playlist like this.
carla 10:02
Oh, that's really beautiful. Thank you. Yeah, definitely some of that. For me the friend part for sure. The helping me move through like, I think melancholy is something that is imposed on us from the conditions of the world we're living in. And I think joy maybe is something that's within us that we can... Ursula Le Guin in the dispossessed talks about it as something that you can't control at all, It just will come in and do its thing and leave. I just really love that distinction. It was the seed for me thinking about joy differently. So yeah, when I think with my playlists, there's a couple things. I physically get affected when I'm sad. So my body gets, I get sick. I can't move. So for me, music has to have an element that makes me move. And I think that joy moves - when I move it moves with me or it moves first. I don't know what you know, is what comes first. But the music definitely, because thinking about like, part of whether it's collective or individually, like we try to find some harmony, and you think about that in terms of music, right? Like, what is that about? Like, what was that? What are we looking for ourselves, when we're not doing well, when were depleted and stagnated? and sad? Yeah, so I think that, that played like a role. I also thought about my personal journey in terms of finding freedom within myself. From stagnant music, what do you call it? First Family, our family of origin stuff that I needed to get away from some of those songs are about that and becoming a parent. I have like a definitely a theme of Don't tell me what to do. And I don't want to grow up. I think all of that kind of fits in. And it's kind of covering up Mushishi
chris 11:49
Yeah
carla 11:49
Because it's connected. I have a question for you before we maybe share playlists but I was rewatching Mushishi, maybe you can explain what Mushishi is after people need to but just google it. It's an animation. It's beautiful. Zen Buddhist healer Guy Ginko. But one of the episodes was about I think it's like the second or third one of the first season. I'm not gonna go into details of it because it's a small part of the story but Mushi comes in... mushi are these things that are not human, they are not fauna or flora, they're in between. And it comes into when there's no sound around. It burrows into the human's ears and eats their sound. I don't know if you remember that one. But, so it made me think about like, what is my sound? because I think this is connected to what music I'm drawn to. Because maybe that counterpoint or, or where's the harmony, from my sound to the sound from music. And in the show the woman who talks about it, her sound is lava, which is really intense sound to have to live with, holy. I asked my friend in Japan if it's a Japanese thing, and she said it's not but maybe regionally. I tried to find it, but there's probably not an English translation for it. But it feels pretty human. Like, I think it's pretty pan human probably that we can think about this. So I was thinking about like, my sound feels like if I feel into it, it's like the wind is collaborative. It's like the wind off of like a soft ocean, but it it has to go up into the trees too, like it's like this.woosh woosh. So when I thought about all the music I picked, I could hear it, I could feel it in it. So I'm curious if you've ever thought of that? Do you have a sound?
chris 13:34
That's an awesome question. I love the wind that you're talking about. The wind. I like wind in music. Sometimes I hear that a lot like Kate Bush's music, she creates these atmospheres. And a lot of her songs are about the mountain to go on top of the mountain. I would say a sound that I really resonate with is something I resonate most with is rain. So in a lot of my lyrics I'll use different words for rain like the typewriter rain tapped on the roof or the Fred Astaire rain or something like I'm always trying to get back to rain and I find it comforting and I live in a desert in so called Denver so we don't get a lot of rain. And, I also I like water too, sounds of water I find that calming, in Mushishi really has its soundtrack is very calming to the Anime. And I think it's the episode you're talking about when the mushi is in the pillow and going into people's ears, and the mushi turns into almost like conjis and it's dancing and going into people's ears or something. That one is so powerful. And one thing I really like about Ginko is he kind of does this mutual aid where he's going around town to town just helping people in educating and he's very introverted, he's not the most outwardly kindest person but Ginko has so much love in him. He just has a different way of his love language speaking.
carla 14:20
Yeah, everyone should watch Mushishi, or read the manga because they're equally as good if you need books.
chris 15:08
So good. Yeah, I love it.
carla 15:11
Yeah. And I think, yeah, we could we could do a whole show on Ginko
chris 15:16
That would be great.
carla 15:17
Because, ok just real quick the thing I always tell people why they should watch it is because there's no there's no judgment on the mushi or on the person who has it. The only judgment really is the people who don't help the person who's not well, that's the only time I see Ginko get upset with somebody is when they've done the wrong thing in terms of helping somebody, like they've judged them or something. And we could just all embody a bit of that we'd have a better world. You know?
chris 15:42
Yeah, I love that. I love that interpretation.
carla 15:45
Also, I need to say because any of my friends who are listening in family, I need to respond and say that rain is like, my favorite thing in the world. I did a whole project called rain. It stood for radical art in nature.
chris 15:58
I love that
carla 16:02
Yeah. rain is and I live in a rainforest. So I get a lot of rain. Yeah. So much of my son's music, Zach's music has rain in it. I am with you on that one.
chris 16:12
That doesn't surprise me. We have so many commonalities.
carla 16:15
I know.
chris 16:16
So I'm gonna start with Bob's, Talk to the Birds by Bob's Your Uncle.
carla 16:22
Okay, so this came out in 1985. I was living in so called Victoria, which is like the capital of British Columbia. And I was 18 just going on 19 and I hung out at a punk bar. With all the punk bands that played there that came through No means No, Dagloabortions, a lot of local people, but also Black Flag came through and so on and so forth. And when Bob's your Uncle came through, it was so exciting. First of all, a woman front person was really quite rare. A woman of color was even more rare in punk. And they were just they talk about joy, but it was also about feeling alienated as young people and poor people. And so it had that melancholic energy to it. And I bought their tape and I had a little yellow Walkman and I played it so much that it died. And she's at she's went on Sook Yin Lee has gone on to be she was like a vj for Much Music, which is the Canadian version of MTV which was really big back, and she was in Shortbus the movie. Now she's on CBC and does other stuff but yeah, I talked to birds I still do. I still talk to the birds.
Bobs Your Uncle 17:35
SONG: Talk To The Birds
chris 21:12
I love that song. When I heard this song, it really made me think just like the rebelliousness of school at first. Kind of imagine the teacher and then ditching class and then getting your real class from talking to some birds, or your real education from leaving school and going into nature. Also thought of it as an overarching ideology as well.
carla 21:40
Oh, yeah, say more
chris 21:42
Or just, they'll tell you, they tell you to do this, they say do this. But usually everything that they tell you to do with an ideology or hegemony is some form of coercion to get you to start renting somewhere, because you need to have all of these things, but you have to sell your time and your body for money. And people will tell you, well, if you don't have enough money, ideology, and capitalism says well get two jobs, you know, and they are always telling you something that's going to lead to more coercion instead of any form of liberation.
carla 22:19
Yeah, they're really fun. People should look them up. They have this one song. If I knew baking a cake or something. It's probably a cover. If I knew you were coming I’d have baked a cake. You know that song?
chris 22:30
Oh, yeah.
carla 22:31
Yeah, they do it really well
chris 22:33
Anything else you want to add on that song?
carla 22:36
Oh, just I mean, I think like, the big thing was that they were just, it was just really great to encounter them during a time when punk was really important to me. But alongside that in a city that racism is really, really ramped. I was just everywhere, Victoria is very British. Like you cannot always tell the difference between the skinheads and the punks. So I don't know. They were just really great.
chris 23:02
That's awesome. Thank you for showing me their music. Okay, so this song is by Organized Konfusion. Who is Prince Poetry and Pharoahe Monch. And they're, they're an older group. And Pharoahe Monch has turned out to be one of my favorite lyricists when I got older. And Prince Poetry was amazing. And this song is probably one of my biggest go tos when just feeling down or, or depressed or existential. Yeah, that song is just really deep. And it talks about these two fetuses inside of their mother. And they're kind of just rapping about life.
Organized Konfusion 24:07
SONG Invetro
carla 24:33
I love that one really speaks to that power of the joy. You know? Despite everything, be curious and dream. I Love it. And it also makes me want to move, which is like my criteria for melancholy joy music.
Chris 27:44
It's a great beat. I love it. And one of the lines that when I was re listening to this song is by Prince poetry, he says, “overshadowed in darkness where curiosity is my light.” And I just love that bar so much. And it reminded me of our conversation. But like the deeper, like a deeper meaning to this song is I don't know, it just makes me think about mortality a lot. And when my mom was pregnant with me, she smoked. And the whole time I resonated with what Pharoahe Monch was talking about. And he was born with asthma, actually. And I think he struggles with that during shows but is an amazing performer. And then another thing is when my mom I think was about eight, nine months pregnant, she fell down the stairs. And she landed on her stomach. And she was bleeding profusely and she was crying. She's freaking out. She went to the hospital. And the doctor told her that her baby was dead, which was me. And she needed to have it removed. And she was just in shock. So she left the hospital and was like, oh, I'll deal with this tomorrow. And then when she went back to her own doctor, they were like, No, your baby's alive has a heartbeat. So it must have been knocked out or something. I don't know.
carla 29:15
Wow, that is beautiful.
chris 29:17
Yeah. crazy story.
carla 29:21
So my mom was told that I wasn't gonna I was dead too. I wasn't gonna live.
chris 29:26
Wow. And
carla 29:30
yeah. She didn't have an accident. I was like, it was just, it was a situation and during labor. And they had to make a decision to save her or me, they chose her because obviously she had four children.
chris 29:44
Wow. Amazing. Thank you for sharing that story. That's so powerful
carla 29:50
Well same, I guess we really needed to be here.
Chris 29:55
Yeah,
carla 29:55
or wanted to be here
chris 29:56
Alright, so I'm going to play the next song, which is Don't Give Up by Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush.
carla 30:03
I mean, first of all, that hug in the video, just the beauty of the like friendship that they have for each other and the intimacy that's just so pure. I tried to post it early on in the pandemic, because I was like, Who else needs to see this all the time? But I kept getting taken down because I didn't have rights to it. But, yeah, it's kind of like an ethos that's run through my life. I even had a campaign during the Thistle days that I went around to all the schools me my friend, I probably shouldn't say whatever, it doesn't matter. We had stickers that said, don't give up quit. Because to me, it's like part of not giving up is not giving up on yourself. And so that means you sometimes gotta quit a whole pile of things. Especially with young people I like to frame it that way. And yeah, this song just when I'm at my like, lowest lowest point I always go to it I mean, I Gabriel is just so important when I was a teen and Kate Bush especially later on... also other people who have performed it with it. I loved it too like Paula Cole, who was his backup singer for years and then went on to her own career. Yeah, just, it's just a it's a it's a love story about friendship. I think a lot of people think it's about a romantic relationship but I mean she she even talks about like what your your your friends we have you we got you, you know? Yeah, somebody on the brink helped remember that friends. It's so good.
Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush 31:30
SONG: Don't Give Up
37:22
Yeah, I love this song
chris 37:24
Yeah, I love this song and I really hadn't really heard it much until you had mentioned it to me. And I've been listening to it all week. And yeah, you're right. It's like a love story about friends. So cool and people need to hear those words don't give up but they also need to hear you worry too much. Just move on with it. So those messages
carla 37:48
Yeah, and on a personal trajectory like that last part. When Gabriel goes into the big reveal walking across the bridge like that. I listened to that probably on repeat when I was making the decision to leave my family behind. And like I would put it on my headphones and walk over these bridges. Like, act it out, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. So yeah, just like finding belonging. They talked about that in the song. It's so powerful. And what gets me is that it is still powerful, you know, after all these years, because it's speaking to our alienation from each other. And
chris 38:28
Yeah, that's how you know, it's, it's so real. I think another thing really cool about Kate Bush, and she actually incorporates her family a lot in her music. You know, her son was the one who encouraged her to go back into performing live again. And then she has him on her last live album. He's singing like three different songs with her. And I didn't know he was the one who made her start doing live shows again, and his voice is awesome, too.
carla 38:55
Thanks for sharing that I had no idea about that. And of course, as you know, I collaborate with my kids so that..my eldest had everything to do with helping you pick out this list.
chris 39:07
Exactly. It made me think about that.
carla 39:09
And that's really nice. And he's actually a huge Kate Bush fan bigger than me, so that's really nice. I wonder if he knows he probably does. Sole actually texted me the other day and said, it must be amazing to collaborate with your kid like, holy shit.
chris 39:26
This song is by Andre 3000 from OutKast, and he's taken a big hiatus, aside from doing features and stuff. He's been just learning to play the clarinet and diving into jazz more, but he came back and did this song, I believe with James Blake, who did the piano and the song is another song that I go to. It's a heartbreaking song called Me and My To Bury Your Parents.
Andre 3000 - Me&My 40:05
SONG: Me and My
carla 43:48
I had never heard that song until I saw your list and it's really sad. But also has this thread of like I can feel the light in it , and the joy. I mean, personally, it may not think about my parents, but it made me think about my eldest brother who died. Who was like my... there's the chorus of me and my and my and they don't say, he doesn't say anything else. Oh, yeah, that.
Chris 44:14
Yeah. And when you mentioned that, I noticed today that he goes, me and my mother. At the end, he goes, me and my mother, me and my father, me and my, me and, and then me as he ends it, and I had never noticed that breakdown until today. It was like, gave me goosebumps.
carla 44:36
Totally.
chris 44:37
Yeah, and it's such a heartbreaking song. But yeah, you're right. It has this joy in it. It has this nostalgic joy of even though, you know, he had to bury his parents. He has these memories and he has love with them. And as we talked about, time not being linear, so much. That's the beauty of nostalgia and the beauty of music that can conjure those time frames.
carla 45:01
You have an album called Newstalgia, did you come up with that?
chris 45:05
Like at the time I thought I did, but I don't know if I really did. Because I think there's even a producer or a rapper that goes by the name Newstalgia
carla 45:13
Right. Well, first of all, I heard it. And what I liked about it, I think there's an eagle right over my head. PS like, five inches. Okay, we talked about this a lot on this Silver Threads podcast, because I'm really interested in like, grabbing stuff from like, from the past and the future. But making sure we weave it into right now in the present. And newstalgia just captures that in a way that I hadn't really, I didn't have a word for it. I was just like, grab the thread from there and there and make a thing. And that's what I hear in the song. It's really great.
chris 45:56
Yeah, that was my exact thought with the album. I was like, I’m such a loser. I'm always like, with nostalgia. I'm always going towards it. It's like, but you have to love the present too. And I was like, what if I you know, the present could feel like nostalgia. If you were making those, those memories and those feelings and feeling them as nostalgia feels in the present. I feel there's a danger of just going to nostalgia all the time.
carla 46:24
Totally. Yeah.
chris 46:25
At least for me.
carla 46:26
Same, that's where depression links. lingers. Yeah.
chris 46:32
Okay, we're going to go to Fast Car by Tracy Chapman
carla 46:36
We won't play this whole song.. cry. Well, first of all, Tracy Chapman is like, where I really learned my politics. You know, like, you know, I grew up in around a lot of punk music and stuff, but I have a joke where like, there's sex pistol anarchism, and then there's anarchism, right? Or anti authoritarianism or whatever. Anyways, Tracy is like her music just educated me in a way that the other punk didn't - she's just incredible. I saw her live. It was like the best thing ever, outside... And this song as someone who grew up pretty poor in a dysfunctional home and when I met my partner like it's just our song just everything about it. And you know, it is our trajectory like if he could just like give me the foundation I will take us places kind of thing and even after it's been moving together over 30 years and we still like hear it and go it's feels like yesterday, but we had to take this leap of faith together and run away or run towards joy in our life and yeah, it's just I think it's like a pinnacle melancholy joy song because it's a lot of loss wrapped up in it but it's also about freedom and liberation and finding your way.
Tracy Chapman 48:37
SONG Fast Car
chris 52:00
I love that song. The way that she goes from narration to heart so effortlessly is just amazing. I love the lyrics so much. And I was wondering when you said that, along with punk because I know you have a history with the punk scene, the different branches that Tracy Chapman gave you maybe with like a political vocabulary or outlook?
carla 52:26
Right, I mean, I guess it was just, you know, to borrow the phrase intersectionality I mean, that it had also had especially to that album, like it had a lot about forgiveness on it and love. And yeah, finding the path towards liberation versus just always in fighting against or negation. And that was something I really needed. You know, early on, when my brother was into punk, I used to say, I don't know how you can listen to this. It's just all negative. And like, No wonder you're depressed all the time. Like, you know, I listened to The Police instead. This is like 77/78. So finding her like she had that kind of like, you know, things are bad. Call things what they were, she was, you know, obviously, pointing out the horrors of the world. But within this framework of a container of like love and kindness, forgiveness, that was really beautiful. Like the other song on the album, though. Chris, my partner, when I met him he had played on the guitar. Three of the songs he played and sang.
chris 53:35
No way. That's awesome.That's so cool.
carla 53:40
I don't know. What about you?
chris 53:42
When I first heard this song, it really brought out a lot of the just the stories that you don't often hear about, of a really just class issues. And of course, race and white supremacy tied into these. But when you hear the the one that really resonates with me is the man who was drinking becauses his body, he felt had no more use, but his he was much too young for how his body looked... that's so powerful, just that, that phrasing of the way that she took it. And it really just made me think of when I worked in the Union. I worked in the stagehands Union for a while, right before COVID or year before COVID. And I was on the carpet duty which was a horrible thing. So I would lay miles of carpet a day in the convention centers for Comic Cons and stuff. And these guys that I worked with that had been there for years, they could only be comfortable when they were laying carpet when they were trying to walk out to the light rail station, it brought them horrible pain to walk and they had their legs had so much arthritis and stuff and these guys weren't even that old. It really, that lyric really resonated with me when I heard this again.
carla 54:56
Yeah, yeah, the working class stuff was really. It's a big part of why that song works for us.
chris 55:03
Do you want to add on this?
carla 55:06
Just that it had the theme of finding belonging again, which was like oh, there's that that's probably what's underneath all of my play song
chris 55:14
this story behind this song too, that you shared. So I'm gonna play the next song is miserabilism by Pet Shop Boys
Pet Shop Boys 58:12
SONG: Miserabilism
chris 59:20
The way I got into this song was actually when I started working from home during COVID. I've been laid off from my other job, and I started at the call center job I was talking about. And this was like a hellacious job in between calls which was usually only about 20 seconds. I would throw on I was like I'm gonna try to get through all these discographies of people I like, and I was like I was going through Pet Shop Boys, I had never heard the song it was on some B-side and I was like this song is amazing. It's because I've always thought that the whole Disney narrative has messed up so many people of this capitalist thing of working hard. There's someone for everyone you'll find love, all these things. They create a golden, a gold plated lust. That is a form of what they call love, and dusted with capitalism or something like that. And when he's talking about just that life will be disappointing and all these things and not having expectations. It's just so well said and comforting. I found, especially while working in a call center.
carla 1:00:25
Yeah, thanks for sharing that story and re-listening to that and hadn’t listened to it years, but there was a line in it. I think, I hope, it's in it. Oh, my gosh, it made me think: I wonder if this was some seeds around the melancholy thing of being like wearing it as a badge of honor because it there's that line where just for the sake of it, make sure you're always frowning It shows the world you're got substance and depth. Like I was quite judging of you if people were not melancholy. I was like, You can't be paying, you're just not paying attention. How many people are suffering?
chris 1:00:58
Yeah, that's actually yeah, that's the third verse. Yeah, it's it's one of my favorite lines, because it's just it's funny for one, but then yeah, it's kind of deep too. And it's like, there's a lot of people who, and I know there's so much to you know, different neuro divergence of sometimes people who smile the most are actually very depressed. I just like how he plays with this whole thing of you have to show that if you see someone frowning, they understand this philosophy of miserabilism. There's no happy endings just a message to depress and it's so funny and true.
carla 1:01:35
And it has a beat that makes you move so that the joy can move. Yeah, they always said the great dancy beats. Okay, so now we're going to Nat King Cole. Song Nature Boy. Oh, I didn't have the song on my first playlist. I think first one, I sent to you didn't have this. I do have it on the large original one. But I was on a walk with Zach and he reminded me that I sing the song all the time. When I am not doing well. And also because like love was like the thing like you centering everything in love is what actually got you healthy. It's not It's not about the negative and fighting back and Don't tell me what to do and don't want to do this and I don't want to it was all about actually more affirmative and really big fan of Moulin Rouge, seen it more than I want to admit and including seeing it in San Francisco at the Castro with everyone's with a sing along. So the song is just incredible and because there is the melancholic energy throughout it but you know, the message is so short and so quick, but it's everything.
Nat King Cole. 1:02:44
SONG: Nature Boy
chris 1:05:10
I think that is just such good advice, this song and I wish I would have heard this when I was young. The the message is so powerful. Oh, you were speaking of the Moulin Rouge
carla 1:05:36
Actually been there I haven't been inside but I've seen it outside of Paris - that's really good to know. Have you not seen the movie?
chris 1:05:45
I'm not in a long time. I haven't No.
carla 1:05:48
Yeah, it's we have a joke in our family that it's actually Christian that is actually the character not Ewan McGregor but the joke is a Ewan McGregor gave me a call tomorrow that I dumped the whole family. But it's it's really that character just heartache, and so beautiful.
chris 1:06:09
Love it. And this is the most common song that you you actually verbalize when you're stressed out?
carla 1:06:16
Yeah. that's one of those things I didn't even know I did it can reflect people you live with reflect back to you did this thing
chris 1:06:25
I love that your kid collaborated and got this song on here and then got this song into my into my heart in my mind. Okay, so I'm going to now play Sade - When Am I Going To Make a Living?
Sade 1:07:20
SONG: When Am I Going To Make a Living?
chris 1:09:56
So aside from this, it has been an amazing song, and I am a big Sade fan, when I was in high school, I stopped playing basketball, and for the school, and I broke my knee and had surgery and then to play basketball. So I started working at the hospital. And I was working at Rose Medical Hospital in Denver. And they had this free jukebox in the cafeteria. And this was one of the albums that was on there. And there was this this woman who I worked with in the cafeteria and in the kitchen and she showed me this song. And she was kind of like my real teacher, she was teaching me through Sade. She was saying, she would always tell me the line that the waste your body and soul if you allow them, and she was an older Black woman from the south, and she was like a mentor to me, she was like you need to do good in school, would talk to me about getting out of there getting out of the kitchen, if I could. So I was a pot washer, was probably there till I was 19, so probably about five years. And the jukebox had all kinds of other annoying albums. And this was the one that was great. I remember they had a Who let the Dogs Out by the Bahama Men, and it was a single, and this one cook he put in the code like six times to drive people crazy. And then we'd have to unplug the jukebox. But I really just learned a lot from this song. This song just has such a powerful message.
Carla 1:11:14
I love that story. Holy moly. Is that like layers? Yeah, she's amazing, big on the playlist of me, choosing joy over sorrow, really, at that time in 2001. And listen to her a lot. This song is really important for me too, because I was in the restaurant business for years. It's like generational, like my grandmother owned restaurants. And I was really good at it. And I was in Toronto and I was the the owner wanted me to open a restaurant with him in Vancouver and be partners and I was listening not to the song, but to some part of my playlists and other people and just like I'm gonna not be working class anymore which is a joke ,because you can't actually say you're not going to do anymore. But I decided that I had a retirement party. And I've never turned back. I've never worked in a restaurant since I was 35, I think it's just a really important message in there is just an important nuance because people like capitalists, what's that shit line of like, do what you love, the money will follow bullshit. But there's the thing with like working class folks that we do to ourselves where we don't we don't believe in ourselves and I love that in this line. But in that line in the song I think yeah, there's just a nuance in it that it's not about playing the capitalist game, but it's about believing in yourself so that you can find thriving. Yeah, thanks for picking it.
chris 1:12:49
Yeah. I love that. Thanks for adding that. We're doing the Holly Cole version. So this next song is I Don't Want to Grow Up
Holy Cole 1:13:26
SONG: I Don't Want To Grow Up
carla 1:17:00
Yeah, so this song has played a factor, since I was a teenager because the Ramones did it first, much more upbeat, funnier version. Really, I think, the perfect version for a teen to listen to, really resonated. I have fought so called adultism all my life in terms of the rigidity that I seen the suffering and whatever that meant. And then fast forward bunch of years, just after I gave birth to Zach my oldest son in 94. That's around when she came out with this album, she covered a bunch of Tom Waits songs. Which is funny because Tom Waits version is actually the one that resonates the most with me now because it feels so playful and he's older and I don't know I just relate to him more I think but this was really I was really stuck with what does it mean to not want to grow up in this way but be a parent and i just yeah, I listened to it often and with you know, my baby on my on my chest, thinking about it didn't give in didn't grow up in that way.
chris 1:18:09
I love those threads that you put through it. Yeah, I do. I think the Ramones is the the you know the most playful and then Tom Waits is kind of the middle, which Tom Waits is what Tom Waits is so good at, of being melancholy and playful and funny at the same time. And then Holly Cole just really brings out, takes takes away that sarcasm and you really just feel the the rawness of the lyrics, which is why I love this version it's Yeah, it's so powerful, but still resilient at the same time.
carla 1:18:40
Totally. Yeah. Tom Waits. Exactly. And I originally picked his version because it is melancholic joy. But the story is better.
chris 1:18:48
No, yeah, thank you for something that all together. We messed around and made a really good playlist.
carla 1:18:54
Yes. Totally fun. It was Yeah, melancholy joy.
chris 1:18:59
So I'm going to play the track Legends by Juice WRLD who recently passed away rest in peace Juice Wrld
Juice WRLD 1:19:06
SONG: Legends
chris 1:22:15
You can hear Juice WRLD’s, his heart and his music and his his soul and just the vulnerability of mostly Juice WRLD's music is so powerful and his voice the the beats that he uses too. And I really just resonate to the song because I don't know if it goes back to when my mom was smoking when she was pregnant, but my lungs, they they collapse randomly and actually collapsed four times one right when I turned 18, just back to back and then I had up surgeries. And the top lobes of my lungs had to be removed. And I was going in and out of the hospital for probably about a year or two. So I was always on dilaudid in the hospital, just messed up my head so bad. And then they would give me like percocets and all this. And, you know, it's essentially like battling with addiction of pain pills, just because I was depressed. But I didn't think I was I think that was the scariest thing. It just was like, Oh yeah, I'll take one because I have all these and I have a little bit of pain. And then it was turning into, you know, a hole to dig down that that was a dangerous hole. And I really just relate to what, what Juice WRLD’s talking about in this on top of this. And the things that he struggled with. I know there was another artist that was lost who had a similar vulnerability to their lyrics was Lil Peep. Couple years ago, too. It's just had this amazing way of writing too. And the lyrics that really resonate with me in the song is that I usually have an answer to the question but this time I'm going to be quiet. Ain't nothing like the feeling of uncertainty that eeriness of silence. And so powerful. When I work with a lot of youth in high schools, I know a lot of them relate to juice wrld too, because they're going in school at this time that's worried about school shootings, worried about climate change. So many existential things are already heavy on top of just being in high school, those feelings at the time. So there's just a lot of intersections and things that collide with this song and why I relate to it.
carla 1:24:25
Thanks for sharing about your story and being vulnerable. I am so sorry. That's a lot to contend with. Glad you
chris 1:24:32
Thank you.
carla 1:24:34
Yeah, music really helps, right?
chris 1:24:37
Yeah.
carla 1:24:38
I love that song, too. I actually had the same quote pulled out so not surprisingly, I just yeah, I had shared the list with Zach today. And he was blown away that the song was on it. And he was like, Oh, it's just too sad. Lil Peep and they're all dead...Yeah. But yeah, the love for each other, though that comes through in the song. Like about, you know, like the music will live on it's one of the things that writers die to like I'm like, I'm so grateful that I still have their their words to carry me, carry generations, not just me. I really like that in that too. Yeah.
chris 1:25:17
Yeah, and like one beautiful thing about art is that it literally saves lives. And I know that this song saves lives every day. And that's another thing of just beautiful art.
carla 1:25:30
Yeah. yeah
chris 1:25:31
Okay, so this next track is better by Burial. The new song is Untrue.
Burial 1:25:35
SONG: Untrue
carla 1:31:15
Feelings, feelings and saw because you girl, man Yeah, there's like many stories for this. I think probably why I I think probably why I chose it is in 2017 I got really sick and was in bed for about eight months. I love to dance. It's how I like how I move through being sad, and I couldn't dance. So I kind of came up with this plan that if I put a record on and laid on the floor, like on the hardwood floor, I would feel the vibrations of the music. And my body would get my Vegas nerve activated. Move. And Zach put on this and yeah, it just became like a healing theme song. Especially Untrue. And then during the pandemic, it just, you know, that feeling of being in quarantine and stuff and being stuck at home like, had a similar feeling even though I could physically dance. So, you know, I just listened to it every day. And I mean, we have all of Burial's stuff. But this is the one that I go to. And then I think I shared this with you. But Mark Fisher writes about a story about him writing this this particular song with his mom and him being really sad. I think if their dog his dog just died or something. And he wrote something, and his mom didn't like it and told him to like, just go make some tea and fuck everybody and do his work, find his passion or whatever. I can't remember the exact quote. It's really good. And that just made me love it even more, because he immediately went and wrote this song Untrue, and she loved it.
chris 1:33:02
And then it turned to be his breakout hit right?
carla 1:33:04
Yes.
chris 1:33:06
I love his story so much I had never known until you told me it's so cool. So when you started using the song kind of as a ritual for healing Did you notice a big difference right away?
carla 1:33:18
Yes. Sorry, the wind
chris 1:33:19
It’s fine. This episode is featuring the wind.
carla 1:33:23
Yes. Which is our sound?
chris 1:33:25
Yeah. It's a form of music. I mean, I first heard Burial, it was on a Thom Yorke remix and I just love the haunting syntha but it's still dancey and some my favorite type of music, a reason why I love the new wave so much and Trance and some EDM and stuff like that. I love that this pick is on the playlist. So next we're going to a Channel Zero Network friend, Tim who is Sole and the song is called Last Earth.
Sole 1:34:08
SONG: Last Earth
chris 1:36:22
So, for one, Sole is one of my favorite lyricists, one of my favorite writers, I don't know how many albums Sole has, it's gotta be, it's in the 20s it may be in the 30s, a prolific writer. And the reason I like this song is it has a melancholy joy to it. It's a lot of Sole's music does, but this is more of a dancey beat. It has William Ryan Fritch, from Sole and the Skyrider band singing with him. Just the beginning bars, so cool, I might be dead, but no flies on me. And he lived in Denver for a while. And we would often go to protests together. And I remember one day we were at one of these protests and he disappeared and he was arrested, kind of just for stepping off the curb for a second you know, the average blocking traffic or something. And the line all up in the cell talking FTP, is just so funny to me, but so Sole at the same time, and so true. And the just the way that he gets into other topics too, he says that's a bad trip, like when whites cross the sea, talking about colonialism, questioning dogma, which is something he does so well with his the way that he intervenes with anarchy and anarchism. And the course to the planet Earth, you don't belong to anyone, we will undo the feudal age. And then he always gets into little sci fi tangents as well like talking about the simulation theory or are we in a projection, and then the playfulness of Sole as well that sometimes he dreams he's flying through space to sees other just all these images of liberation will talking about desecration at the same time, which is I find inspiring and comforting and reflective.
carla 1:38:07
Thanks for putting the song on. I hadn't heard it. Already adore Tim/Sole. So I had pulled out similar lines as you but I'm the one in the chorus that we will die trying, I love so much because I mean that's that willingness, you know? I think like in all my social media bios I just wrote, I try... because I think that's like the least we, I mean, it's the most we can do actually. And I think isn't there like a Rebecca Solnit told me this, like, it's actually what an essayist is, like somebody who writes political stuff for the world is at the ideas you try. So just really gravitates to that, so hearing that in the song with that, with those lyrics, I was like, that's the point. That's the whole entire point is to try.
chris 1:38:53
It really reminds me of the whole, Sole always did the whole détournement of Guy Debord and kind of see this in three parts. So the first one being 50 cent, Get Rich or Die Trying. And then Dead Prez, they kind of did a détournement and they said Get Free or Die Trying and then Sole, kind of Sole is in that vein very much with his music of or we will die trying
carla 1:39:16
Nice connection. Nice weaving. took what I said, no grounding and grounded it Thank you.
chris 1:39:27
No way. I didn't even think of it. until you brought it up. So yeah, that's the beauty of collaboration. Oh, you're so nice. You picked our song for the last song, which is I've always loved the monsters by by me, Jason/Maudlin Magpie & produced by A Thousand Vows
Time (me), Jason/Maudlin Magpie & produced by A Thousand Vows 1:39:58
SONG: I've Always Loved the Monsters
carla 1:43:26
So I wanted to pick something on the larger playlist too I also just picked something that just came out from Kinnie Starr... I just really wanted to bring it current. I listen to this song more than I'd like to admit it.. thank you so much for creating it both of you. It just. Yeah, it does bring that melancholy joy because it roots me into like a lot of things. I mean, almost every line, it's something that I've like, pondered or thought about, not in the exact same way or not in the same poetic way. But one of the things I'm really trying to figure out is like how to get out of my head and be more present so that I can just live more of a thriving life and so much of my work was about like creating thriving environments and containers for people but then I overworked myself and didn't thrive myself. Then there's just you have that in there and, and on the one hand like, like, the Jason's melody, like, it's kind of this counter to it because it's it's like this dilemma that I have around like more thought is like, takes me way out of presence, but yet your thoughts do untangle it all for me. So anyway, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna put your lyrics back to you.
chris 1:44:37
I love that. Thank you, it's an honor that you feel that way. And to just give a little bit of context to this song is I had, I believe I've told you the story, but I had recorded this song, and this song talks about death like a lot of my songs which I get made fun of for. I had recorded this song. and it even says the one one day years hard will be beating the the next it might not be. And literally the next day, I got in a horrific car accident, almost died and had internal bleeding and stuff. And then my mind didn’t work that well for a while. It's such a severe concussion. And when I kind of came back to and I was able to write again and work on this album, I wanted to redo this verse, the song and Jason was like, no, that you recorded that. It's like, it almost was your last recording. Like you have to keep it. It's crazy. It's eerie. And maybe he's kind of a macabre person for wanting to keep it like it was but it was a good idea. But then I found out later that he actually wrote the chorus when I was injured pretty much, and he said he was kind of talking about how my mind is it always like can make a lot of connections and goes places so I was like wow, I never knew the chorus had to actually do with me and that he was worried about me when I was injured, so it kind of made, ties the song more together.
carla 1:46:04
Wow, that is probably what I've like it just has such it's so affectual like it's kinetic. Like I feel it in every way and also like I do a lot of work with my ancestral stuff and you just you cover it all like yeah my my sights.. What is it, my thoughts steal my sight? Oh man. Yeah, my daily. I apologize to my kids and my partner for that.. Yeah. Thanks for sharing that story. And I'm so glad you survived that accident. Yeah. And not to mention the title because we both love monsters.
chris 1:46:42
Yeah, no, definitely. That was that was the other thing of yeah, always, always love the Yeah, the monsters are not always the heroes of the stories or what's really strange is this last track that I picked by SBTRKT featuring sampha trials of the past is a song that actually was one of the ways I healed after my car accident. I didn't even think about how these lined up. I was I never took a day off of teaching after the car accident, which was a really dumb idea because I was throwing up after a lecture, anytime I use my my brain even if I read a text message, it would make me nauseous. And I was stubborn and took place in this debate I had already said I would go to on fracking, which I was glad I did because the fracking debate was horrible. And I threw up after that too. But this was a song that I would always listen to on the light rail. And it brought me peace and it made me feel free.
SBTRKT (feat. Sampha) 1:47:45
SONG: Trials of the Past
carla 1:51:15
I really like the songs, how does it help?
chris 1:51:19
Back to that thing where you say like it's just there, that vibe of this melancholy joy. For one, it's just the beats. I love this like tube synths in the minors in it and then some - Sampha's voice, it's just so soulful, and so calming and poetic. But when I would be on the light rail, and I was trying to get to like the front or the back of the car, and I stand up, and then I would pretend I was flying. And I didn't feel good, you know, because I couldn't really think, so I feel kind of weird too. I felt spacey. So I actually felt like I was flying above the light rail while listening to this over and over again for about a month. And then I love the second verse where he says I was always floating around the city, going with the flow without ever knowing where I want to be. So I got into crazy situations. And a loyal soldier who acts who acts who acts but never asks, that was my favorite line. And I just love that. And I know you and me, we really resonate about talking about questioning and questions.
carla 1:52:23
I really liked flying on my back, the looking down. Really, really related to that I think it has like it had this sense of like astral projection or something in it. I think there's some kind of like, beyond this physical realm. I mean, that's the joy. I think I pulled from it out of that.yeah
chris 1:52:44
Yeah, it reminds me of your story about Burial a little bit too, about how you were trying to get the nerve nerve activated going and like that form of dancing. And we had talked about in an email before this on other topics of what music is and music and ableism. And I was telling you about a friend I have who's a non hearing friend, and they told me, they were explaining to me about going to shows and that they enjoy going to shows where they can just feel the bass and the bass in their chest. And just the vibes of the energy of a show and all of those things. And just those things to consider when people are talking about music and ableism and all those things that tie in, and how music is part of everyone's realities.
carla 1:53:32
Yeah, thanks for bringing that up. It's really important. That's the thing like rhythm. Yeah, even a non hearing person they can feel it in their body. And I think that's really important because that's like I shared that quote. It's Zach's favorite quote the one about like that sound is you can't have music without sound but you can have sound without music and so therefore sound is more important. But it makes me think about that just opening up what sound is and how how we experience it and in even like a harmonic way or harmony way, like that's probably a whole other conversation that I'm probably not the best person to have it with because I don't really understand music, but just even the western narrow version of what music is versus the east. Just continues on the white supremist hegemonic road even what constitutes music.
chris 1:54:24
Yeah, like always trying to categorize and break things into binaries that are not necessarily. Going back to what you were saying about how you enjoy dance. And that's a way that you're able to express, just yeah, the music of that and just the rhythm of movement
carla 1:54:42
Even separating that in the West.
chris 1:54:47
I love that bird
carla 1:54:48
A little music
chris 1:54:51
And is a perfect book end because that's how we started it with talking to the birds.
carla 1:54:55
Yes. Nice. Nice. Did you want to say anything about your larger list before we wrap it up?
chris 1:55:03
Like the ones that I really picked on my extra was a song that I really grew up listening to which was Respiration by Blackstar. It's talking about the city and the beat by Hi Tek is really contemplated and I love like the poetry of Mos Def (Yasiin Bey). I had Prince on there, which we're both big Prince fans, I have a lot of jazz that was on there like Archie Shepp, big Tom Waits fan like you were talking about. So I had stuff from nighthawks at the diner, which was, you know, kind of a play into our newest album Nighthawks at McCoys, Stevie Wonder is one of the greatest of all time, I just love, everything Stevie does, going back to the hospital when I worked there, Frankie Beverly and The Maze of a co worker taught me about them in the song Joy & Pain ties in so much into this. And then the Priests, I really love the Priests and their music in Earth, Wind and Fire, one of the members from Earth Wind and Fire's from Denver. I am a big Frank Ocean fan as well. New wave, so Joy Division, and I probably end up putting a New Order or someone else on there if we kept going with this playlist.
carla 1:56:08
Well, I did 13 so you can add a couple more. I'm so excited to share this list. I'm gonna start with the couple that like we're in that we got booted out of the top seven which is Sun Ra, Blue Soul, So I mean, I just, I don't know, I feel like I'm from another planet most of the time, so I really relate to Sun Ra's stuff and, and really get lost in it. And then Sinead O'Connor really, really important. I mean, her and Tracy Chapman, you know, are my political educators. Oh the song that I kicked off right away was for the one that Zach told me to do nature boy, but This is for Life from Luka Bloom. I don't know if you know his stuff, but he's Irish. Just an incredible singer, singer songwriter, and it's really about a song during the troubles where a man or woman fall in love and he gets put in prison because he kills somebody. But they stay together despite it all and it's all about time and how he can't actually watch the moon because he's in jail and it's really really sad but there's like a beauty about it that they commit to life together their love their love is going to transcend this physical distance. Yeah, so and Prince, of course, it was really hard to pick a Prince song. I was really wanting to do something from his early stuff that Purple Rain is the one that had to be and then The Cure. Aw, man, I probably listened to Cure like three times a week because it's a dance. It's not you know, it is melancholy Joy to the max because it has the beat to dance. But the songs are so sad. Sigur Ros is another, all of it. It's my every time I go on a flight. I listened to Sigur Ros. I love it. The Police's like circa you know, teenager, I just felt completely lonely. It's from their first or maybe their second. I thought it's from the first album. And then I have a couple jazz stuff on there to Steal my Joy from Lee Williams. Do you know that song? So good
chris 1:58:09
No, no.
carla 1:58:11
it's about not stealing, It's like don't steal my joy is actually the song
chris 1:58:15
Nice.
carla 1:58:17
Sounds really, really beautiful. And then of course, At Last lost I borrowed from a friend who did a playlist about hope and Rebecca Solnit actually, she had it on there. Because she's you know, sometimes sometimes we have to wait for it. Sometimes there's patience in the fight, in the build. So I thought it was a good one in terms of ending my playlists. Sometimes the Joy has you have to wait a bit.
chris 1:58:45
I love that.
carla 1:58:46
They cover them all. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, Walkabout real quick. I love Atlas Sound. And I really wanted the song on the film I made about the purple thistle and I went through a lot of networks to get it but of course, you know, you're in the business. He didn't he doesn't actually have rights to the song so I ended up not using it but yeah,
chris 1:59:05
on dang. Yeah, I love your extras on here.
carla 1:59:10
Oh my god. I missed Sour Gout. Yeah, that's my kid. It was hard to pick but I picked the one that resonated the most. He's written a couple songs for me. I should probably have done one of them but had a lot of rain in it.
chris 1:59:26
Awesome. All right, carla. Well, I'll talk to you soon. Bye
carla 1:59:30
Bye.
1:59:32
Thank you for tuning into this episode of the time talks podcast part of the channel zero network. Please check out carla bergman work and support their endeavors. Links to carla's works are in the show notes. Please send me an email and tell me some songs you listen to when you're feeling blue, or share a playlist with us. My email is [email protected]. thanks to awareness for the music, share the show around, rate it up and give someone some water. peace.
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Toonami Weekly Recap 1/06/2018
Black Clover EP#04 - The Magic Knights Entrance Exam: Asta and Yuno head toward the colosseum in the royal capital for the Magic Knights Entrance Exam, while looking around and admiring all the things they’ve never seen before.
Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans Season 2 EP#10 (35) - Awaking Calamity: Orga tells McGillis of the Gundam Flauros and the Pluma that Tekkadan excavated on Mars, along with a much larger unit discovered in the area. McGillis tells him to stop the excavation immediately, revealing what they discovered is an ancient Mobile Armor; a forbidden piece of technology that caused both the Calamity War and the mass casualties associated with the conflict. Meanwhile, Jasley has his men spy on Tekkadan and McGillis' activities, before informing Rustal's fleet of McGillis' secret trip to Mars through his connections with the Kujan Family. Vidar suspects that McGillis is out to destroy the Mobile Armor to earn the Order of the Seven Stars; the highest honor within Gjallarhorn. Aboard the Saisei, Tekkadan and Teiwaz's mechanics activate the Pluma, which wreaks havoc on the hangar. Upon his arrival on Mars, McGillis reveals to Tekkadan that Mobile Armors are fully automated, therefore making them capable of unrestrained violence, and that Mobile Suits - especially the Gundams - were created to destroy them. As soon as Tekkadan and McGillis reach the excavation site, Iok and his platoon stage an ambush to arrest McGillis, but the presence of their Mobile Suits accidentally activates the Mobile Armor.
JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders EP#19 - Death 13, Part 1: Kakyoin has a dream where he is in a deserted amusement park, accompanied only by a dog. Suddenly, the Death tarot card appears, and he is attacked by its image, the Stand Death 13, killing the dog, before Polnareff wakes him up to tell him that they are on the way out of town. Kakyoin becomes concerned when he finds his hand has been cut in his sleep, and more so when he spots the dog he saw in his dreams, killed in the same manner as he saw in the dream. When the two catch up with the others, Joseph is arguing with a man he had planned to rent a plane from, who has now refused to let him go as they need to get a baby to the hospital. Joseph offers to take the child with them, and a woman with the child agrees. As the group takes off, the woman says she must find the child's mother, admitting that the child, Mannish Boy, is not her own, and she was scared of his fangs. While in flight, both Kakyoin and Polnareff fall asleep and find themselves at the amusement park, again. Kakyoin tries to warn Polnareff that he was attacked in his dreams by a Stand, using the dead dog as proof, but Polnareff does not seem to pay much attention, until Death 13 makes itself known once more, attacking the two of them. They find that in their dreams they cannot summon their Stands to fight back, but before Death 13 lands a mortal blow on Polnareff, Joseph wakes him up to have him change the baby's diaper, leaving Kakyoin on his own. As Death 13 is revealed to be the Stand of Mannish Boy, Kakyoin cuts his own arm, as he thrashes about in his sleep, causing Joseph to crash the plane. As the team sets up camp to prepare for rescue, Kakyoin sees that he has cut the words "Baby Stand" into his arm, leading him to realize that the child they have been taking with them is their attacker. He tries to warn the others, but they do not believe him, as Mannish Boy is pleased that his plans to kill the group are succeeding.
Lupin the 3rd EP#24 - I'm Going to Get You Lupin: Rebecca realizes she is truly in love with Lupin, and announces to Italy that she'll be able to capture him. In the meantime, Lupin continues to break into various banks without stealing anything, and Rebecca understands that he's searching for something in particular. It's the beginning of a great battle between the two, with the final stand that will take place inside the last bank. At the end, Rebecca finds out that Lupin was in search of a single banknote in order to win a bet with Jigen, and they somehow manage to safely escape the police, even with Robson's help, proving to be quite a fine couple. Despite this, at the end Lupin decides to escape, and Robson, despite his concerns, decides to let Rebecca live as she pleases.
Hunter x Hunter: The Chimera Ant Arc EP#78 - Very × Rapid × Reproduction: Kite and his party trace the whereabouts of the Chimera Queen and conclude that it is located in the neo-ludite nation of NGL. As both Kite's group and another separate team of hunters depart to NGL to investigate, the Queen establishes her stronghold and instructs her soldiers to gather a huge number of humans for her to consume in order to give birth to the King.
Outlaw Star EP#16 - Demon of the Water Planet: Gene, Jim, and Melfina are contracted by an old man to recover a shipment of dragonite ore from a ship that crashed on the water planet Heifong VII, which leads to a battle with the creature guarding the ship and its ore. Once the dragonite ore had been loaded onto the ship, the old man sacrifices himself to the creature in order for the crew to safely escape from the planet.
Cowboy Bebop EP#14 - Bohemian Rhapsody: The Bebop crew hunts for Chessmaster Hex, the rumored mastermind behind a series of robberies at hyperspace gate tollbooths. However, while trying to dig up dirt on their target, they unearth some very valuable data regarding the gate accident that devastated Earth fifty years earlier.
Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2nd Gig EP#08 (34) - "DI: Vegetarian Dinner – FAKE FOOD: Tired of Goda's manipulation, Aramaki decides to take the initiative and conduct his own investigation into the Individual Eleven case while simultaneously looking into the Cabinet Intelligence Agency. Section 9 is split into two teams, one focused on digging up additional info on the two cases and the other tasked with locating an ex-GSDA officer identified as a person of interest in a series of shootings at a local TV station. While on a stakeout of a Taiwanese vegetarian restaurant, Batou and Togusa find out that Section 1 has been fed false information about the same ex-GSDA soldier, and have set out to kill him on the assumption that the man is a world-renowned terrorist. Batou and Togusa arrive too late to save the man, and both sides determine that someone behind the scenes is feeding disinformation to both Section 9 and Section 1.
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Ep. 16 - “Hi, nice to me you! My name is "I'm a fucking mess" “ - Francie
https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164424993518/individual-immunity-7
The tribe minus Will hates me again so there's that! I.... almost went home, that's so wild. I hate that Ali left, that was all just so wild I don't even know what to think now about it all.
It feels good knowing that my game is almost over, and that Amanda Lynn is gonna win this game even though she's never getting my jury vote. I would say more but I don't want to make anyone mad or upset and I don't want any bad blood after this game, but y'all can't preach "it's just a game" and then be upset when someone calls out your lies IN THE GAME like... that's a tactic I'm trying to rattle you and clearly it worked. Ruthie's the only real one, Abbey literally admitted she's playing for second which is just sad, Francie I still know nothing about, and Amanda Lynn like go have fun in the winner's circle girl. You deserve it.
I'm seriously considering if I want to even try for F3 anymore, or just like, flop and be voted out. I don't think I have a chance of winning anymore. And if I don't have a chance of winning, I'm not sure I want to keep putting the effort in to stay.
It seems that everyone has wanted me out at one point or another. They all still probably do. If I'm such a big threat, why hasn't anyone tried to take me out before this? How have I been able to stay? Will is mad bc I told him I wanted to go to the end with him bc I like going with threats so its a fun FTC. Sweetie, if that were true, I wouldn't have voted Emily out.
And also. I never told anyone I wanted to vote Ali out. I mean, I didn't want to go to FTC with him, and I mentioned like, to the girls, that I wanted to go to the end with all girls, but I never went to anyone and said, "I want to vote Ali out." So, lol, good job to whoever told him that, bc tbh, I've been considering going to the end with him, and its yours and hist fault that he turned on me and wound up idoling himself out. Oh the irony. And I'm not even sorry.
To be honest, if I do get voted out, I'm probably going to vote for Francie. Girl has made it to f5 with zero votes against her, in her very first game, while she went on vacation to another country, won an immunity, AND survived rocks where she had a 50% chance of going home? Yeah, home girl is getting my vote.
WELL THE TEA IS that Francie put her ass on the line super hard just for little old me. Will, Ruthie and Ali voted for me which is fine it makes sense I get it. I really didn't expect Francie to do that for me. My heart is full, my crops are thriving, my skin is clear, Neville is the Cruiserweight Champion and Sasha is 4 time Raw Womens Champion everything is great! I came clean about my scheme to vote Amanda out to Amanda so since I spilled that to Will he has no dirt on me. I really think that me and Francie both have something to show if we make it to FTC, the playing field seems more clear especially since Will kind of shot himself in the foot when he popped off on Amanda. Oh well, I just want this iconic all female f3!
So that challenge? It's no Stairway to Hell. It's just Hell. That's it. Nothing else. If the solar eclipse didn't make me go blind, this challenge did. I set up a doc last night so all I had to do was copy/paste, but I hecked up once at the beginning. Everything else was fine, though. Even with that, I copy/pasted non-stop and it took me about 52 minutes so.... rip. I'm really hoping I get this bc I do not want to be voted out before Will... I would rather be last juror than go before him. I'm guessing that if he does win, the Gal Pals will just vote Ruthie, but I would hate for him to be here f4.... so like... can he just lose?
[7:03:20 PM] Amanda Lynn: Anyway if Will wins immunity i'm gonna go jump off a cliff
[7:04:09 PM] Zabbey Culpepper: rt
[7:04:23 PM] Francie Liana: mood
They think I'm joking, but I'm already looking up the tallest peak in Florida.
https://youtu.be/EJOOhaTWyiw
Welcome to that last challenge where the word “step” is made up and your emotional sanity does not matter.
https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164465335358/individual-immunity-7-results
WELL it's been fun y'all I really think I'm the next to go and I'm not about to crawl up into Francie and Abbey's IM's, not tonight anyway but I think they BOTH know I'm the smarter option to keep this week.
So the highest point in Florida is a place called Sugarloaf Mountain. It's peak is 312 feet above sea level. It's about 120 miles and 90 minutes from my house. If I leave now, I'll have enough get there early, spend the day climbing the mountain, jump in the daylight, hopefully live, hopefully be found, and be able to make it back in time for tribal, just to be voted out.
I know it's between me and Ruthie. I know that. The vote will be 5-2, either way. Abbey says she has no intention of voting me out. Francie said the same thing. But all it takes is for someone to sway on of them that I'm the biggest threat. I don't mind. I doubt I'll win the game anyway. But I just ask that if they do decide to vote me out. Just tell me. I don't want a glimmer of hope just to be blindsided.
Abbey said she was pitching to Francie why they should keep me. I appreciate it. But I'm not going to fight. I said my peace to them. I know Will won't work with me anymore. I don't have the option to work with Ruthie because I'm not voting Francie or Abbey out. I have nothing left to say to anyone. I'm just. I'm tired. And sad. I worked so hard in this game. I tried so hard. I had decent strategies. I played tough. I went against an ally, which is a big step for me. I've never done that. I tried to beat Will. And I have a whole tangent speech about that that maybe I'll get into one day. About how I agreed to work with him and then went back on it. I have a reason. But right now. I just. Want to cry.
Immunity? Feels nice :)
What's funny to me now is people who have spent the whole game lying and flipping and backstabbing not wanting to take out the obvious frontrunner at this point when they can it's like... I get that you wanna stay loyal to the alliance but are you really gonna throw your game away for that? After you've both acknowledged that you can't beat her? Like you're ok with flipping on me because you can't beat me, but because you've known homegirl over here longer you're willing to throw away your chance at winning? I mean tbh I probably will not win FIC, and I'll probably be the Kelley Wentworth of this season, and that's okay with me but it's just really dumb - not even sad, just dumb - watching people talk up how they don't wanna just bring goats to the end then do exactly that, or even worse let themselves be the goats. Amanda Lynn is not getting my vote in the final three, and that's not me being bitter, that's me saying that I genuinely do not believe she played the best game between her and Abbey. And I know all y'all will say I'm just a bitter juror but those? Are the facts! That's my opinion! I mean I'm gonna fight as hard as I fucking can to win tomorrow night and please the jury, but I really don't have much hope left. And that's okay. When I said I wasn't gonna bring goats to the end for an easy win, I was being serious, but if y'all wanna win in a landslide over people you yourself have said "didn't do shit" and if y'all wanna go to the end with people who will beat you in a landslide like... be my guest idgaf. And don't expect some fiery jury speech from me either lol that's not how I'm playing this game. I'm just gonna ask a simple question and expect simple answers, no showboating and no more games. There's no point in it, just be straight up. Anyways it's about past my bedtime and this game is literally just draining my life force at this point, I'll see what I can do tomorrow but there's literally no promises on that
Anyways my instagram bio literally says "eventual 4th place finisher on survivor" so like... the prophecy cometh true?
Amanda came to us last night explaining why we shouldn't vote her out now, because Will and Ruthie are close and would end up driving it to fire next challenge. While Abbey and I think Amanda is a threat, neither of us wants to go through fire next round so we plan on voting Ruthie out now instead. Amanda also told us to just tell her if we're voting her because she doesn't want to be blindsided at all. She left two alliance chats this morning so it seems like she thinks she's going home next if she's already preparing. At least, maybe...? I hope they're both telling the truth because I have no desire to wear a good made of sheep's wool. (I...got so carried away that I typed all of this in the name box at first)
Should I even campaign at this point? UGH. I think I really screwed myself over by telling Will the last vote what was happening but I don't regret it, I hope that Will makes it to the final three and that he wins this ENTIRE game. Yes, he's been close with Abbey and Amanda but he has been my number one and yes, I did stray a little bit but idk, he deserves to win.
If Will doesn't make it to the end I will probably vote for Amanda to win. She has played the best game by far out of almost everyone (I honestly think that Will, Emily and her have played the best this season) and she deserves to win over me, Francie or Abbey for sure.
I've had a fun time and I'm honored to have made it this far in this game, it's been a WILD ride and I've loved every second of it!
Well, Francie says she decided last night she isn't voting me out tonight. I made a pitch to her that next round of it comes down to fore between me and her, I'll forfeit, which I will. I'm hoping it doesn't come down to that, though. Jay hinted that final immunity is the pressure cooker with the cup, but she also said she was still thinking about it. If she does do that one, it sucks for me bc I know I won't win. But it's good for Abbey bc she has won it before. I just don't know how strong Will is so, I'm just going on a hope and a prayer here.
what even is this challenge what even is anything? anyway. amanda came to me, referencing what she said last night and said it was all true. she thought I was the swing vote tonight. she also said that if it came to fire between me and her, she would forfeit. she literally said she'd guarantee me F3 if I kept her tonight....this is the most surprised I've ever been by a pm im...wow. I really appreciate it, that's for sure. just, w o w. I told her that I decided last night I wasn't going to vote for her, bc that was true and it still is.
I really just wanna get this all over with, I'm too stressed for no reason and my computer also legitimately can't take it anymore lol - like obviously I'm gonna try tonight but part of me hopes I lose so I can just be over with all of it. Obviously I've had a good time but still.
https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164502055958/tribal-15-ruthie-voted-out-3-2-amanda-lynn
LAST WORDS: I'm sad about leaving but I am glad I had so much fun and was part of what I think was a great season! This was definitely one of the favorite games I've ever played and it was an adventure, I never knew what was going to happen next and I'm honored to have met so many of you! I love my Azores family! <3
'crackedt disney queen' out!
Ruthie becomes the sixteenth person voted out and the eighth member of our jury.
So I made it through tribal. But I could not last longer than like 5 minutes (if that) in the pressure cooker. My arms used to be strong bc of puppets but they are not strong anymore. It's up to Abbey and Francie right now and I can hear Francie is struggling so much. I just don't want Will to win. Please, God. Do not let Will win. I'm hoping his phone falls and he loses. Ugh please.....
Friendly tip: on a google hangout, never put your phone into low power mode. in other news, fuck technology
File my phone screwing me over under Top 10 Saddest Anime Deaths.
https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164504054993/final-immunity-challenge-results-will-wins
I literally cannot believe I won final immunity like what the fuck? How? When? Where? I really feel bad like I feel like I am not supposed to be here, it feels wrong and it feels tragic but I... I made it? I don't even know who I want the last jury member to be, because Amanda is the biggest threat against me at this point based on gameplay alone - I need to start preparing a speech and answers and stuff - but I also know that Amanda will eviscerate me if she's on the jury and I don't feel like dealing with that. I really hope they can all be objective about the game and see that I played incredibly hard and that my social bonds saved my ass multiple times but that I also controlled a bunch of the votes. But these fuckers gave me a run for my money, they really did. For my last game of the summer, it would be really REALLY nice to win. But if anything at least it was a wild fucking ride.
I...had the phone propped up vertically and then Amanda mentioned doing it horizontally and trying that is what was my downfall actually. :/
https://youtu.be/z9eEqkd5j6U
I can't stop thinking about that challenge. Can you believe that power save mode murdered the feminist movement?
Anyways it's dumb that people are trying to use the "it's what we really want" thing to guilt me into doing what they want me to tonight and I'm really not about it lol go cry to someone else I don't play like that
Let's break it down here: y'all are gonna tell me that I'm being shitty for calling Amanda Lynn a not genuine person (because she lied all game to me) and say that I can't separate real life and the game (including Abbey so tactfully saying that I shouldn't be playing these games) and THEN go on to say to me here, tonight, on this day, that you'll both be mad at me - no, that ALL the people here will be mad at me if I don't let them go to fire making because... of what? Because I made the choice that was best for my game? Like if you're gonna give out advice like that, learn to take it as well. There's no point in arguing since they will never admit I'm wrong unless it's in an apology intended to try and make me feel comfortable again so like give it up, it's over. If anything, talk to ya girl Francie she's the one who's really making the deciding vote here, don't be mad at me for trying to win the game after telling me I'm not allowed to be mad at y'all for doing the same thing.
So I lost FIC which is a real bummer. It was the only challenge I really had a chance at but I blew it, and it''s nobodies fault but my own. I went in too cocky and it blew up in my fave. Unfortunately Will won. It's not that I don't think Will deserves it, because he definitely does, he worked really hard for it. It just sucks that we can't have an all female final 3. The series is based on female empowerment and inclusiveness and it would have been a really good story but oh well. I dont begrudge Will for it. Now we have to figure out what to do. Me and Amanda want to go to fire, because neither of us want to vote the other one out. We've come too far together to turn on each other now. There's no fucking way I'm voting for Francie after she went to rocks for me so our only option is fire. Francie and Amanda vote for me, I vote for Amanda and we hope Will votes for me. He might vote for Amanda which would suck. He's not getting any of our votes no matter which of us go and he thinks Amanda would be his best bet to send home but he can't make that happen on his own so idk what hes gonna do
Will suggested that Amanda and Abbey are trying to spilt the votes and send me home rather than their fire plans. I trust A&A but now I'm lowkey paranoid and idk what's gonna happen tonight. I'm gonna go finish my dinner. It's cronch time.
Hi, nice to me you! My name is "I'm a fucking mess"
It's a lose-lose-lose-lose-etc. situation: I go to fire, Amanda probably makes it to FTC and probably wins somehow. I vote Amanda out since Francie really doesn't see through my plan here and Amanda goes to the jury and tells them all not to vote for me and I have to do major damage control. I don't go to fire and regardless of who goes home they all hate me for not giving them what they want when I literally don't owe anyone anything. The only people I owe are royalty Ali T and Ruthie for staying completely loyal to me through this whole mess, and those are the facts! Anyways no matter what I do tonight Amanda's gonna make it difficult for me to get jury votes so... time to work on a speech kids!
https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164538868783/rites-of-passage
https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164542328888/final-four-tribal-council-abbey-and-amanda-tied
LAST WORDS: https://youtu.be/0_Jjw-sfxY8
Amanda Lynn becomes the seventeenth person voted out, and the ninth and final member of the jury
So, that happened. I wasn't sure Will was even going to push for fire making but he ended up doing it and Abbey won. Amanda messaged us in the alliance chat and said she was giving up because she didn't want to sit next to FTC with Will. Gosh, my stance on Amanda has sure flipped around a lot this game. She's been one of my closest allies and yet there's been times, like just recently, where I wanted to vote her out because she was the biggest threat to winning this game. At the same time I've wanted to stick with her because we were allies for so long. It's been too back and forth so I just have to say it for the record that I have loved playing with Amanda and I wouldn't change that for anything etc.
That moment when you're in the final three when you didn't even think you'd make merge coming into this game.
Honestly Amanda can stay pressed, she wants to act like the victim then like go for it but honey if you're gonna try to bully me into a fire making challenge (you got your wish!) and lie to me and everyone else repeatedly don't expect me to go silently into the night, I will expose you for who you are. If I win, then woohoo I did it yay congrats Will, people will be pissed. If I don't win, then like literally whatever lol.
My strategy going into FTC is just to be honest but still try to “sell myself” without getting arrogant about it (though I don't think I actually have the capacity to do that). I think my odds of winning are about the same as Abbey's and Will's so, yea. We'll just see how those forks fall.
https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164577346023/opening-statements
This game has honestly been so great up until these last few votes... I don't know what made it get so ugly but I really don't want to be remembered as the villain who's villainy came from being a bully, not from my strategy. Because I really don't think I've been a bully and I hate that people are going to try to paint me that way just because I stood my ground. I don't think I'm winning this game which is a bummer because it's both one of the best games I've played (in terms of my gameplay and like...the production and structure of the game) and my last game for a while, but hey like I had fun. I made it to the end with two people who I would love to see win, and we all agree that each of us deserves to be here.
https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164621763838/final-tribal-council-the-jurors-votes-for-the
That could've been a lot worse tbh like I'm really looking forward to talking to all of these jurors later on with a couple notable exceptions (we won't say who but we all know who) and like, I don't expect to win but I don't think it'll be a landslide vote, but then again who knows.
I'm going to miss Ali sending this confessional link so damn much. :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((. Bigger tragedy than a n y t h i n g Shakespeare produced.
https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164649993333/winner-reveal
FINAL THOUGHTS: How did I actually win? I'm literally floored. Tfw when you bullshit half the game and manage to win??????? I, uh, yeah. Only n00b to make F3 and I won. Wow.
With that, Francie becomes the winner of Survivor Athena: Azores by a 4-2-2 vote, with Abbey and Will becoming the joint runners up. During the winner reveal, Emily was announced as Player of the Season and Mo/Ruthie were announced as Fan Favorites after a community vote. Congratulations to all of them and thank you to the whole cast for an amazing season!
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