this ended up very different from what i was originally planning and also very very off prompt. but this was meant for @asouefanworkevent day 3: clusterous forest!

there is a certain thrill to wearing a disguise — a thrill that is half excitement and half danger. i once attended one of the famed masked balls hosted by the duchess of winnipeg, and it was one of the most exciting and dangerous evenings of my life.

@asouefanworkevent day five of woevember : the masked ball, alternatively titled,   the dragonfly.

another fall is upon us! another woevember is coming!!

what is it?

woevember is an asoue fanwork event week, that will take place from november 12th through november 18th, 2023. last year there was a different group of characters each day, and this year, each day of the week is dedicated to a different location for a series of unfortunate events or all the wrong questions.

what do i do?

the prompts will be revealed now, so everyone has time to make something. between now and the week of november 12th, you’ll create fanworks about the prompts, and then post it on the corresponding day during november 12th - 18th!

don’t forget to tag this tumblr (asouefanworkevent) in the post so i can find it and reblog it, and tag the post with #woevember !

what do you mean by fanwork?

everything! fanfic and fanart are of course allowed, but woevember has always been meant to be an event that is as big or as little effort as you want! fanwork also means edits, gifs, analysis posts, headcanons!! your cosplay!! your photography!! your photosets!! your web weaving!! your super short fics!! your sketchiest drawings!! your most ramble-y half-fic idea posts!! your wip scenes!! you merely saying 'lemony snicket, though. am i right?????' (and you are. you're so right.) whatever you are moved to make from the prompts! i want people to be encouraged to and be able to create even something small that didn’t exist before for the snicketverse, and share it with other people!

are there any rules?

to keep the event open and comfortable for everyone, no explicit content. also, as always, sibling romance and age gaps will not be tolerated.

do i have to make something for every day?

only if you want to! feel free to just make something for one day if you want :) the point of having a different theme for each day is so some part of canon that you like comes up eventually, and you can at least make something for one of the days. or you get struck by an idea you might not have considered before! i want to get people thinking about all the intriguing people and places in asoue and atwq and the exciting different ways we can interpret and create from the same idea.

what are the prompts?

the description under each prompt is just some ideas to get your brain going -- feel free to take them in another direction too!

november 12th - olaf's mansion

to celebrate the 24th anniversary of the bad beginning! what becomes of the house post-canon? was it olaf's family home? what sort of nefarious, or, perhaps, completely innocent shenanigans have occurred here, pre-canon? does this house also have a secret passage somewhere?

november 13th - the baudelaire mansion

did beatrice and bertrand build the mansion? what sweet pre-canon moments have we missed with the baudelaire children and their parents? what visitors came there? do people still think the mansion remains are haunted post-canon? what sort of new home do the baudelaires make for themselves when they return to the city?

november 14th - the clusterous forest

the wild and lawless place. what was it before the water was removed? what sort of beach or shore was there? where did the water go? does it ever come back? what does lemony, or anyone else, find in there? does another train ever come through after the thistle of the valley? do the stain'd-by-the-sea crew ever go in to investigate it? what sort of rumors might be created about a place like the clusterous forest?

november 15th - the hotel denouement

the last safe place! is it vfd-owned, or denouement-owned? what happens down in the archives? are the archives ever found? what sort of firefighter or firestarter meetings have taken place here? what relationship might they have with the preludio hotel? what were the denouements up to at the hotel? what hotel, or what sort of home in general, might frank and ernest create for themselves post-canon, with dewey's absence?

november 16th - the masked ball

the duchess of winnipeg's masked balls have so much potential! what happened at that last one, where lemony tried to contact beatrice? when was that? what happened at past balls? what is the duchess's relationship with the parties? (whether the duchess is jacquelyn or r or jacquelyn is r's daughter is up to you, dear reader!) what costumes do they all pick! or is there even a different masked ball you might have in mind?

november 17th - the reptile room

to also celebrate the 24th anniversary of the reptile room! what becomes of this house post-canon? how did monty come to own the reptile room, where does his herpetology career fit into vfd? why was the quagmire mansion connected to it? how did jacques get there and find quigley? what other moments with the baudelaire children in the reptile room might we have missed -- or pre-canon moments with the baudelaire parents? do not forget about our beloved, the incredibly deadly viper!

november 18th - free space!

there's tons of other locations, too! prufrock prep, heimlich hospital, 667 dark avenue, paltryville, caligari carnival, the city, the punctilio, veblen hall, the orion observatory, the opera, the sewers, the hemlock tearoom and stationery shop, the museum of items, the museum of bad breakfast, the snicket mansion, the quagmire mansion, the island, the mortmain mountains, lucky smells lumbermill, wade academy, killdeer fields, anwhistle aquatics, the queequeg? or do you care not for locations! use the free space to write about the character or relationship or thought of your choosing!

if you have any questions about anything, feel free to drop me an ask or a message!

happy creating, and i hope to see lots of you november 12th-18th!! ✨

Woevember Day 1: Count Olaf's House

“Oh!' Said Sunny, and everyone knew what she meant. She meant, 'What a terrible place! I don't want to live there at all!”

Olaf’s Mansion

Written for @asouefanworkevent

"Hey, boss!" Fernald pushed the door open and waved the latest edition of The Daily Punctilio he was holding. Learning to hold a newspaper with his hook had taken him a while. "Have you seen the review? We were marvelous! You -"

The newspaper slid from his hook and landed on the floor of Count Olaf's tower room amid scraps of paper and empty wine bottles. Olaf was lying on the floor, eyes closed and ghostly pale. His arms were stretched out before him, his fingers bent to claws.

"Boss, why do you keep doing this? We were going to celebrate!"

Olaf didn't move. Only now, Fernald spotted the blood and splinters under his fingernails. All around him, fresh marks had been scratched into the wooden floor. They were sloppy, but he recognized the eye insignias at once.

WOEVEMBER DAY 4: UNSEEN CHARACTERS

[Image description: There are eleven consecutive images outlined in black. The first image has 'TEN THINGS/PEOPLE VIOLET BAUDELAIRE NEVER DID/MET BETWEEN THE AGES OF FOURTEEN-FIFTEEN (AMONGST OTHER THINGS)' written in the center, and underneath those words is Violet Baudelaire's head, denoted by the big ribbon present in her hair. The second image has written across the top, 'CELEBRATE W/ BACKSTAGE THEATRE ABOUT A JOB WELL DONE'. Underneath that, there are two triangular illustrations split diagonally with flowers. The left illustration has Violet Baudelaire and somebody else, both part of the theater backstage crew, smiling from the shadows as they look at two people in a spotlight. The right illustration depicts a scene from the Bad Beginning, and has Violet in a wedding dress and veil, wearing a grim expression, under a spotlight. The third image has two illustrations on the top and bottom, separated by a white bar with the words 'TAKE CARE OF CLASS PET W/ BEN'. The top illustration has Violet and Ben talking to each other in front of a terrarium that holds a snake, and the bottom illustration depicts someone grabbing a syringe labeled 'MAMBA DU MAL' from a suitcase. The fourth image has the words 'LISTEN TO SOMEONE TALK ABOUT FISH FOR HOURS (AND FIND IT VERY INTERESTING, BUT LONG)' written in the top left corner. On the left side of the image is an illustration of Violet and a person in a boat politely talking, the former holding a camera and both wearing life jackets. On the right side of the illustration is Violet stumbling back in a taller boat as someone's shoe just steps into frame, depicting a scene from the Wide Window. In the fifth image, there are two illustrations on the top and bottom separated by a white bar that has the words 'LEARN SWORDFIGHTING FROM A GOOD INSTRUCTOR'. The top illustration depicts Sunny Baudelaire challenging the POV to a sword fight, a scene in The Miserable Mill. In the bottom illustration, two people decked in fencing gear clash swords, Violet Baudelaire and her instructor, as Sunny cheers them on in the background. The sixth image has 'TRY OUT A NEW ICE CREAM STORE' and depicts Violet and Klaus ordering ice cream at a parlor, the vendor smiling widely to take their order. The Quagmire Twins sit in the foreground, waiting for them to return. The seventh image has 'FIND A LUCKY PENNY IN THE FISH DISTRICT' written on top and depicts Violet in a casual outfit stooping down to pick up a penny on the sidewalk. Behind her, somebody who can only be seen to their waist walks past on the brick roads, wearing an oversized pinstriped suit. The eighth image has 'HELP A LIBRARIAN' written in the top left corner, with one illustration taking up the majority of the image and a second smaller illustration in the top right corner. The main illustration depicts Violet with her hair tied up as she talks with a smiling elderly lady. In the background, there is a machine behind Violet that is grabbing a book off the shelf. In the smaller illustration, a hand holds out a ribbon with bent paper clips on it. The ninth image has 'GET AN IDEA FOR AN INVENTION AT THE CIRCUS' and shows Violet talking to a woman using still rings in a flexible position, feet over her head. The tenth image has 'GO ROCK CLIMBING (AND BE GLAD THERE'S SOMEONE THERE TO CATCH YOU' written in the top left corner and has a bird's eye view of Violet climbing up rocky terrain with a determined expression. The eleventh image has 'BLOW OUT THE CANDLES ON YOUR FIFTEENTH BIRTHDAY' written in a smaller font. The illustration is a birthday cake on a lonely table with a single lit candle, and a hair ribbon right next to it. End description.]

and i can in no way say i managed to keep up with the challenge, but regardless! this is for @asouefanworkevent 's lovely woevember week!

this probably doesn't center as much as the 'unseen characters' to really fit within the prompt, but i realized that only midway through drawing the images >_>

one of the things that makes me sad about the misfortunate riddled throughout the trouble years of the baudelaires, and other children within the series, is of how much they missed (which is, in a way, inspired by how much younger children missed due to the pandemic)

imagine all of the things they never did? the hobbies they never picked up? the memories they never made? the people they never met?

in a universe where that faithful day didn't happen, what things would they have accomplished? where they returned home from the beach, parents smiling and welcoming them back-- perhaps they'd been better at hiding, or the arsonists showing a rare act of mercy, or someone took a wrong turn around town and gave up-- whatever the circumstance, a universe where they'd have the 'normal' ups and downs of growing up

now, the baudelaires probably wouldn't ever have a particularly normal life, even if they had the safest childhood to ever have transpired, but still

would they be able to have the happiest experiences of their life? walking arm in arm with friends down the hallways, stopping to smell the roses and daises and tulips? would they have been struck by the 'norma' heartbreak and tragedy, of petty fights between friends and identity crises?

they'd never know. they'd never know, and they'd never get to know.

but, i mean, they grew up anyways. they developed and still made the happiest memories of their life. they still lived and laughed, and it's not like every moment of the years they ran was defined by just surviving. those years shouldn't be defined by them looking behind their backs every second, getting more and more jaded with every promise. they made friends and did learn things about themselves, learned that they could stare death in the face and spit.

so i suppose it doesn't matter either way, but still, there is always a what if

olaf's mansion (@asouefanworkevent)

Olaf drains the bottle of vodka and chucks it through the doorway of the ballroom. There is a tinkling sound of breaking glass. He peers into the room. The chandelier swings from the ceiling, lopsided and bedraggled. Shards of glass prisms scatter over the floor, catching on gouges and splinters. Despite Olaf’s earlier handiwork, most of the ballroom floor retains its slick, green varnish. But he has plenty of time to remedy that. He whirls through the room, ignoring the splinters stabbing through his socks, until he stands before one of the many gilt mirrors. He smiles. Vile and nasty.

sometimes a family is three orphans, their adopted daughter, one not-so-sad writer, and two triplets

frank, beatrice the second, the baudelaires, lemony, ernest, implied ernest/lemony

gen

3,598 words

In the grand tradition of all parents, the extended baudelaire family find themselves trying to pull a fast one. 

for @asouefanworkevent's woevember day 4, the hotel denouement! some rambling headcanon nonsense half-fic about post-canon family that i had great fun doing. my favorite thing in the whole world is post-canon babybea interacting with her absurd enormous family. i love them all so much.

okay. so bear with me here 

so i think most parents/guardians are at one point or another faced with Pulling The Ultimate Fast One on their children. this is related to Your Beloved Pet Died But We’re Telling You We Sent Them To Live On The Farm, but this version, in particular, is infinitely easier and harder. this one is The Switch. The Replacement. The Double. when the intrepid parent or guardian, under the cover of night, goes to the pet store to purchase The Exact Same Animal because the first animal had an untimely death. i will admit, this is the easiest with like, a goldfish, or something else small where you can usually get one that looks very similar. 

now, for babybea, it’s a pumpkin. 

so babybea (who is twelve at the time this story takes place), at the very end of september, carves a pumpkin, and she goes in with a VISION. she spends a couple hours on this pumpkin, carving an owl. It’s not, yknow, a realistic owl, but she adds a lot of tiny details, lots of lines for the feathers, and she carves a little mouse on the side too, and even gets the side of a tree in there, and the pumpkin carving kit the baudelaires purchased that year came with these little stick lights, to put in the owl eyes after carving, so it has orange eyes!! this is!!!! The neatest thing babybea has ever seen, and she is so thrilled with the results and very proud of this pumpkin. (for the record – violet carves a few pumpkins into a starry night with a moon, klaus carves monstera leaves, and. let’s be real. sunny bites a series of turnips into jack-o-lanterns.) (and then she stabs a couple white pumpkins into bigger jack-o-lanterns, for variety. all of them get different expressions!

sunny, arranging her carved vegetation on the baudelaire porch in order of emotion: perfect.) (no, i don’t know what order of emotion means. But sunny does.)

Then they all pile into violet’s car – pumpkin included!! – and drive almost an hour out of the city to the bildungsroman bed and breakfast. (frank and ernest decided, at this point in their lives, if they were going to commit to anything, it may as well be The Bit.) (it has a local reputation as a place with solid wifi, stellar bread, and great mattresses. The owners are considered minorly eccentric, mostly for the portrait they have in the lobby, of, just one of them. 

some impassioned yelp review: okay so the stay was great big recommend PLEASE try the bread but i cannot figure out the story behind the portrait in the lobby????? it's just one one of the owners?????? but I don't understand why bc they're twins and it's just ONE of them?????? and he's wearing this frog-patterned tie in the painting and when you see them like in person. neither of them wear the tie. what's the deal here 

the locals are sure it's not an ego thing, bc the owners don't seem to be self-centered or anything like that. In fact, if asked about the painting, both of them will say, “oh, that's a painting of my brother.” 

an additional yelp comment: I think. there's THREE of them  a third yelp comment: don't be silly, they're definitely twins.) 

frank and ernest have a very elaborate series of outdoor autumn decorations, with lots of pumpkins and mini gourds and hay bales over the front steps and corn stalks on all the porch posts, and babybea wants to not only show her uncles her hard work, but also put the pumpkin on their steps where everyone can see it!! 

(her uncles also include lemony, of course – I think he did live with the baudelaires for some time after reuniting babybea with them, but has recently moved into ernest's side of the private apartment at the back of the hotel. this was mildly distressing to babybea, who likes everyone she loves under the same roof, but she can't deny that lemony is very happy. and so is ernest. and now she can see all her uncles in the same place whenever she wants!! so the baudelaires tend to spend weekends at the bed and breakfast, because they also miss lemony. and they get to know frank and ernest better, which is very important to them, as people who are important to babybea, and to lemony, and, to the baudelaire's past.) (not to like, detract from the sentiment here, but i do need everyone to know that i imagine ernest spends like, 80% of his working hours just making out with lemony.) (okay maybe not 80%. ernest does legitimately get work done, it’s his hotel too. ………but like, a lot of time.) 

AND SO. the baudelaires arrive at the bed and breakfast, and frank and ernest and lemony are very proud of their niece's pumpkin. they take a lot of pictures. (re: my previous post-canon thoughts, frank has actually acquired a phone now, and does text. it is a flip phone.) babybea places it, very gently, on the third front step, and is so pleased. sunny steals two mini gourds while looking ernest dead in the eye. ernest approves. 

But october turns out to be unseasonably warm, and babybea’s pumpkin, while lovingly carved but now lacking the support an uncarved pumpkin has to keep itself A Pumpkin, does not take kindly to the weather, and babybea actually becomes very distressed at the smallest signs of rot beginning to form in her pumpkin, when it is only the second week of october. She doesn’t TELL anybody, because there’s not really much you can do about a pumpkin doing what a pumpkin does in warm weather, but she’s very upset. (almost uncharacteristically so. usually she’d say, oh, well that’s how it happens, and rather pleasantly move on, but lately, she’s been kind of. quieter than usual.) And frank, who spends a great deal of time at the front desk, closest to the pumpkins, becomes Concerned. 

now, in general, babybea’s family is like, pretty good at being realistic with her. She is of course an optimist, but still Aware of a great deal of the ways of the world, given her family, her upbringing, lemony’s books, her own adventures, everything. You can’t really shield this twelve year old from the ways of the world, even if that way of the world is, a rotting vegetable. All things have their time, and it cannot be stopped. Including seasons, and in-season foods. 

However. She put SO MUCH WORK into that pumpkin, and as the week goes by and the pumpkin starts to shrink in on itself, turning all of babybea’s work black from the inside out, those charming little glowstick eyes CAVING IN, and the baudelaire’s weekly weekend visit grows closer and closer, frank has been imagining her devastated reaction when she sees the pumpkin, and decides, He Must Pull The Fast One. he will re-carve the pumpkin, exactly as babybea carved it, replace the pumpkin, and no one will be the wiser. They get a little more time with the pumpkin, presumably at least until halloween, and his niece gets to see her beautiful handiwork as much as she likes. Maybe, you know, there is a little magic in the world after all, to make a pumpkin look so nice. 

(also, i think frank has. A shaky relationship with babybea, from his end. She loves him, as much as she loves everyone else in her family, and babybea herself would NEVER rank her uncles in order of how well she knows or admires them, but i, lulu vandelay, putting this together, have no qualms in saying she knows lemony the best, bc she has spent the most time with him, between trying to find him and both of them trying to find the baudelaires and all of them having lived together, and she’s rather deeply attached to him – ernest is very personable, and funny, so he’s easy to get along with – and she and frank both like tiny detail work, so they have things in common, but frank always seems very awkward around her. And he is. It’s bc he’s very nervous around her. Frank doesn’t think he’s good with kids. And he is usually acutely aware that in an ideal world, he isn’t the one she’d be spending her time with, that dewey would be so much better at all of this than he is. A better parent, a better brother, a better everything. Because dewey always was, to frank. but, dewey would probably want frank to do as much as he could for her, and would believe him absolutely capable of doing it, without a doubt. So he wants to be a proper uncle to her and THIS is his opportunity, he thinks. He so desperately wants to do something kind and considerate and important for her, like family is supposed to do for each other.) 

the thing about pumpkins, though, is that, for some reason, mid-october, THEY ALL DISAPPEAR. I’m serious, you ever try and find a good pumpkin even like a little over halfway through october? It can be hard. 

frank: i need your assistance. ernest: i’ve killed my quota for the month. frank: i – ernest, please.  ernest: alright, my apologies. What do you need?  frank: a pumpkin. lemony, from the kitchen: jarrahdale or red warty?  frank: no, i mean a carving pumpkin. 

The three of them take a good, long look at babybea’s pumpkin. Uncle Instincts Have Activated. They, very solemnly, bury the pumpkin in the back garden (lemony is the one who takes one for the team and removes the glowstick eyes from the depths of sad, sad pumpkin). And then embark on a mission. Please imagine the three of them packed into a mint green 1960 chevy corvette. Sunglasses optional. Who’s driving? That is up to you, my friend. Oh, google informs me it is cascade green. Imagine accordingly. (yes, no corvette has ever been made with more than two seats, but isn’t that just funnier? They really are packed in there. Lemony sits in the middle.) 

The hunt for the right pumpkin is long. Grueling! Kinda chilly! This is october!! Much comparison is made between potential pumpkins and the pictures they took of babybea’s pumpkin. Snacks are purchased. (lemony, who has recently been introduced to instagram, posts a picture of his pretzel. [ernest is out of focus in the corner, eating a chocolate ice cream cone.] [#pretzel.] 

sunbad: what is that lemonysnicket: I have purchased a pretzel sunbad: without me sunbad: you’re dead to me.) 

(it was actually not sunny who introduced lemony to instagram, although she was his first follower. It was klaus.) (klaus uses instagram mainly to never post anything ever, just to follow his favorite authors, so he wanted lemony to have an instagram, especially since he just moved out.) (klaus……..my heart………..) (oh, frank bought chex mix. he likes those gross rye bread pieces.) 

(don’t get me started on lemony with an instagram……….I think this is a hilarious but also heartwarming thought – this man who has avoided being photographed for years and years and years and YEARS (yes that much repetition was in fact necessary) is at a point in his life here he is not only comfortable of taking pictures of his life, but he is capable of doing it, he’s allowed!! It’s still probably mostly food and it’s so good!!!!!!!! and think of the amount of pictures he keeps just in his phone gallery, too!!! violet’s inventions and klaus’ library displays and sunny’s baking and babybea’s school projects and ernest’s record collection and frank’s breakfast spreads, and nature shots with lemony’s thumb in the corner, AAAAAAAAAAAA) (uh, anyway, these men are on a mission. back to the mission.) 

Eventually, they do find a comparable replacement pumpkin! Does it fit in the car? Lemony, by virtue of sitting in the middle, holds the pumpkin. 

They return to the bed and breakfast. Between the three of them, many different knives, and all of their photos, frank and ernest and lemony painstakingly recreate babybea’s pumpkin, down to the last, smallest detail. Including the little mouse and the side of the tree and the feathers and everything. (frank does do most of the work, because ernest and lemony very much see that this is important to him, but he doesn’t mind them helping, because, yknow. This is about family, and babybea is their family too.) (frank feels like he owes lemony a lot. for trying to set the record straight about their past. or as straight as one could try and set it, with what all of them did. for their niece. for making ernest happy.) (ernest deserves to be happy, with everything they put each other through. ernest thinks the same for frank, too.) 

(ugggggg if you told the three of them when they were so much younger that one day they’d stay up late recreating their niece’s perfect pumpkin masterpiece so she’s not upset about the passage of time………..) 

(who’s in charge of the bed and breakfast while all of this is happening?? 

ernest: mallory, you’re in charge. mallory, a twenty-two year old with a major in hotel management who runs the front desk when ernest and frank can’t: sounds like a plan. 

mallory has a deep respect for the denouements. meanwhile – 

mallory: so you’re lemony snicket. lemony: i am, yes. mallory: you don’t look like your photo. lemony: that’s my legal representative. he has a stamp.) 

meanwhile meanwhile – it is not necessarily about the pumpkin. 

For babybea’s part, she already firmly believes that there is some sort of magic in the world. Even at twelve. Especially at twelve!! Look, she knows it wasn’t magic that reunited her with her family, that it was her and lemony’s hard work, but she wound up with SO much more family than she expected, when she first contacted lemony. And like, that is what there’s magic in. this whole group of people who care about her and love her and want to spend time with her. Babybea thinks she has the best family in the whole entire world. (AND SHE’S RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!) 

But that is also babybea’s problem right now. She loves her family so much, and she loves having them, and it’s been a couple months but she is still not entirely comfortable with people she loves being so far away from her. Not now! Not when they’re all supposed to be in the same space, like they’re supposed to be!! And some kids at school have teased her, not so much about her puzzle-piece family but that she talks about her uncles so much. She’s just proud of her family and she loves them!! But middle schoolers are like, rude as fuck sometimes, okay. And they don’t even think they’re saying anything wrong, just offhand comments about how much she talks about them. They don’t even know anything about her parents, not really, but babybea starts to feel like, it’s the unspoken throughline in what they’re saying, why doesn’t she ever talk about them? Why only her uncles, her guardians? They’re her family, but – 

she feels almost guilty, that she goes through periods where she doesn’t even think of her parents at all, and periods where she can’t stop thinking about what they would look like and what they would be like, and that makes her feel like she doesn’t value the family she DOES have. So it’s not necessarily about the pumpkin starting to rot, what’s making her upset. It’s that, the pumpkin is another thing in a line of things babybea is Thinking about, things that aren’t Going the way she thought they were supposed to go. Her uncle moving out, missing somebody who was supposed to be there, her pumpkin not staying like it’s supposed to, she’s SUPPOSED to love her family but is she loving them right? Is she loving the right people right? Can you miss people you didn’t even know? And babybea has it very set in her head, the things she knows and is supposed to do – this is something she hasn’t quite worked on, but she’ll get to it eventually, she is still twelve – and they keep not happening like that. And now. Something else she worked really, really, really hard on, that isn’t going right either. 

So she spends the week a little gloomy about her pumpkin, and worrying the whole ride friday afternoon after school to the bildungsroman bed and breakfast. Violet and klaus and sunny are very aware of babybea’s mood, and try to cheer her up by asking her about what she’ll be for halloween, but babybea’s heart is not super into this conversation. (she has ideas about a big group costume where they’re all different local birds, but now she’s not even sure about that.) 

And then! She sees her pumpkin!! Glowy eyes and all!!!!! And, mysteriously, those little spots of rot she’d noticed the week before are gone, and, in fact, it looks a little sharper than it had before? And she didn’t think she’d cut the lid quite like that, but! That’s her pumpkin, exactly where it’s supposed to be!!! And it makes her feel just a little better. That’s good. That’s right. But she still can’t, entirely shake off all her previous feelings, about family. But. right now. Her pumpkin still looks very special. 

Later, babybea can’t sleep. So she sneaks out of bed and goes down to the lobby, and sits down on the floor in front of the front desk, and looks at the big painting on the wall, that ernest did of her father. 

This, of course, is where frank finds her. (because frank has never been very good at sleeping consistently, even when there’s nothing to worry about now, and he likes to walk through the hotel to make sure it’s secure.) 

(ernest would say something very clever, like, aha, with a raised eyebrow, but all frank says is – )

frank: hello, beatrice.  beatrice: oh!  beatrice: hello, uncle frank.  frank: may i sit down?  beatrice: yes, please. 

They spend a little while looking at the portrait.

beatrice: um –  beatrice: does it – 

What she wants to ask is, does it look very much like my father, which she then realizes is such a STUPID question if her father was a TRIPLET and she has a mirror image of him right in front of her, who acts like she thinks a father is supposed to act, so, but, it’s not like that doesn’t mean dewey didn’t look like dewey. Just because dewey looked like frank doesn’t mean he only looked like frank. And beatrice forgets, sometimes, that he would’ve just looked just like her uncles. But still! 

beatrice: i mean – the painting, is it – 

But she thinks it’s such a terrible thing to ask!! But frank knows EXACTLY what she means. 

(some time ago, when the hotel had just opened and ernest had just painted the portrait of dewey – 

ernest: i wanted it to look like him. And, it’s not like i, don’t know what he looks like. Looked like. I mean – that could just be me or you up there, couldn’t it. It doesn’t look like it’s him.  frank: no, it does.  frank, knowing exactly what he means and feeling like, he needs to make ernest Not look so abjectly miserable: you don’t look nearly as happy.  ernest, in tears, very amused and touched and still terribly upset: wow! 

The point being, god of course it looks like dewey. It couldn’t be anybody but dewey, even if dewey looks like other people. Dewey looks like himself, he looks like his family, he looks like beatrice, around the eyes. And family means lots of things. It means your guardians raising you, and your uncles raising you, and your father’s portrait on the wall and never knowing him at all, and loving so many people and being loved back by them, whether or not it’s Supposed to be a specific way, and sometimes it means missing somebody, sometimes it means missing different people, sometimes it means being sad for something you’re not sure if you should or could miss, sometimes it means not missing anyone at all, sometimes it means your uncle going to live with his definitely boyfriend even if they won’t say the words out loud who’s also your uncle just on the other side of your family and that doesn’t mean anyone’s going anywhere. Sometimes it means your pumpkin rotting, because things change. uh, does this make sense.) (admittedly, i put a lot of things in this.)

frank: yes, it looks very much like him.  frank: i think about him a lot.  beatrice: ......would he like my pumpkin? frank, without hesitation: absolutely. beatrice: do you like it? frank: i do.

of course babybea already knew that, but it's nice to hear. it's just. nice. it's not, like, everything? just like before. but beatrice is loved by a lot of people, and she loves them, too, and. she feels loved, right here, like she's supposed to, and that's what's Supposed to happen.

beatrice hugs him, and it's not the first time she's hugged frank, but it means more? frank hugs her back.

beatrice: thanks for fixing my pumpkin.  frank: i’m sure i don’t know what you mean, beatrice. 

beatrice hugs him again, and then goes back upstairs. frank looks a little longer at the portrait, and then goes to bed himself, and doesn't get back up until his alarm goes off.

unofficial chaperone

Technically, Jacques isn't Quigley's chaperone. But he feels like it's his duty to play such a role, anyway. But just because he considers it his duty that doesn't mean he thinks he did a good job at it.

~900 words. Jacques Snicket & Quigley Quagmire

written for day 6 of woevember of @asouefanworkevent, the reptile room

The reptile room is a quiet place, these days.

Without Monty's loud and infectious laughter, without Gustav talking about his latest movie projects, without the two of them being happily in love. With them gone, all those sounds have disappeared, and all that's left is the occasional sounds made by the snakes - sometimes one would knock over something in its cage, causing a display of a rube goldberg machine to take place.

But mostly, it's fairly quiet.

Some people would find it eerie, probably, especially considering how vibrant this place has once been. With Monty gone, it seems now the place that's once filled with his enthusiasm and cheerfulness has collapsed, making it feel a smaller, emptier than it actually is.

But Jacques has always been able to find solace, to find comfort in the quiet. It seems that the reptile room, while quite chaotic a while ago, when Olaf was carrying his schemes here, has settled back into quietness again. While of course Jacques misses Monty and Gustav terribly, and seeing everything in this house sort of reminds him of them, there's still a kind of comfort to be alone in a place that all the chaos have passed. The calm after the storm.

Well.

Almost alone.

Quigley Quagmire is here, although Jacques's so busy with his own research and often stays up all night reading and sleeps during the day, so they didn't have that much chance to talk. When they do, though, Quigley has a lot of questions he want to ask, and Jacques does his best to answer them, or guide him in the right direction to the answer.

But at the same time, he's overwhelmed with his own tasks - the research he has to do find the Baudelaires, his regular duties for VFD, and a bunch of other stuff. At least he doesn't have to work for Daily Punctilio at the moment, now that Eleanora's fired him. And he's also dealing with his own grief at the same time.

Losing Beatrice and Bertrand and Monty and Gustav and Josephine and the Quagmires in such a short time - even though some of them are old friends he hasn't been in contact with for years - has hit hard. Even though he doesn't let that affect his work, or tries his best to do so, but the grief still engulfs him, as he works quietly, researching and investigating. Following the trails of the Baudelaires, trying to find them.

He's aware he's not been a proper chaperone to Quigley, although technically he isn't even one. Not officially, anyway. If they were in peaceful times (what is peace, though, to someone who's 4 years old when the schism occurred? but let's say comparatively peaceful, perhaps,) maybe he could be, officially. Although maybe if they were in peaceful times, they would never have met. But even if no one ever assigned him the task of chaperoning Quigley, his felt like it's his responsibility to.

Whether it's because he sees a kid, away from his family, all scared, and thinks that its his duty to take care of him, or whether it's because he knows one of his important duties is to look for potential recruits, and he sees one in Quigley - or maybe it's a both, as things often are - the results are the same. He considers himself sort of an unofficial chaperone.

But even as he takes that upon his own responsibility, Jacques is acutely aware he's not doing a great job at it. He tells him certain things and leaves certain things for Quigley to find out by himself, leaving clues like a chaperone should, guiding the apprentice to find the answer themself.

He's aware he's too busy with his own tasks, so busy investigating and also at the same time, a bit engulfed in his own grief, that he just isn't paying Quigley enough attention. He feels guilty over it, but unfortunately he has a bunch of other priorities he has to take care of. But it weighs on him, nonetheless.

Over the years, Jacques is just too equipped with the skill of carrying on doing his work even as he lets certain guilt weigh down on him.

Once, he remembers Lemony's old chaperone, S. Theodora Markson. Also Bertrand's, he knows. He used to think she's a terrible chaperone and disapproves of the way she's apparently not well-trained enough, the way she obviously neglects Lemony, the way she seems to be utterly incompetent at the chaperone job. The way she's ranked last of all chaperones. He used to think she's too wrapped up in her own issues and has neglected the care of her apprentice - namely, Jacques's little brother. While Jacques is aware that Lemony isn't the easiest apprentice to train, that L's always with his own opinions, but Jacques still thinks if Markson was more competent and less focused on herself, she should've been able to guide and help Lemony more.

Well, look at himself now, he thinks with a grimace. Barely doing a better job of taking care of Quigley and answering his questions. Much too overwhelmed by his own things to properly care and train him. Even though technically he isn't Quigley's chaperone, and Quigley's not a VFD recruit, not officially anyway. But still, he thinks that in some way, he is his apprentice. Even if not officially. Even if he's never told Quigley so.

Sometimes, Jacques thinks. We all grow up into the adults who we never thought we'd become.

november 13th – sugar bowl gen siblings

snicket twins + urban loneliness

as part of @asouefanworkevent 's woevember event <3

i wondered if villainy was like armstrong feint, someone once kind and gentle who lowered himself into treachery, or more like a mysterious beast, hidden in the depths and summoned to wickedness. but all these questions seemed wrong.

@asouefanworkevent day three of woevember : the clusterous forest, alternatively titled,   a lesson in turpitude.

it's october 23rd! 🎃 we're now 20 days away from woevember!

what is woevember? find out here!

woevember day 5: the masked ball

There are not many of us left, Mr. Snicket, but we are ready to help you in any way we can.

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire were intelligent children, and they were charming, and resourceful, and had pleasant facial features, but they were extremely unlucky, and most everything that happened to them was rife with misfortune, misery, and despair.

@asouefanworkevent Woevember day 6: The unfortunate generation >> The Baudelaire children

Enough [A Frank Denouement and Kit Snicket Friendship Ficlet]

A ficlet centric on one of my favorite ASOUE underrated friendships: Frank Denouement and Kit Snicket for Woevember 2023 hosted by @asouefanworkevent Day 4: Hotel Denouement. Dewey x Kit is also mentioned. Thank you for reading!

(Warnings: Sparring. Some mild spoilers)

“Hey. Hey, not the face,” Frank protested as he dodged one of Kit’s punches. Another soon followed. “If you give me a black eye again, I won’t be able to pretend I’m Ernest.” 

“That was an accident,” she insisted as he tried and failed to catch her in a hold. “And why do you do that again?” 

Her movements were so quick and agile, he could barely keep up with them—not to mention frustratingly unpredictable even after how many times they had sparred together. He supposed he had an excuse. Since he had been put on “hotel duty,” his sparring skills were severely lacking especially compared to Kit who spent most of her time in the field, but still he had thought that with practice he would’ve improved at least somewhat. He huffed, struggling to catch his breath as he quickly weaved in and out of her attacks. “Listen, when you have a boring desk job like me, you have to find ways to keep life interesting.”

“It just confuses everyone,” she argued as she turned, leaving her right side open. When he raised his arm, however, she effortlessly swerved away from his hand, completely unphased and he was back on the defensive. “If your point was to be deceptive, I could understand, but you just want to mess with everyone—why?” 

“What do you care?” he huffed as he managed to get a kick in causing her to stumble. He gripped her arms holding her in place. “You can tell us apart.” She could, of course, frustratingly enough so he never got to have any fun with tricking her that he was either of his brothers. “So I don’t know why it would matter to—Ow!” 

Frank winced as Kit elbowed him, and within moments she had him pinned to the ground. Pathetic, he thought with a slight shake of his head as he struggled to wriggle free. She was kind enough to practice with him whenever she was around which was getting more and more frequent. That gave him an idea. 

“Before you punch me, picture me as someone you love—shouldn’t be too hard,” he teased with a wink and a grin. Kit lowered her hand and loosened her hold on him. The glare she gave him as she got up from the ground made Frank shiver.  

“Listen, I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just teasing…” he insisted, but Kit huffed, leaning against the wall with her back to him. 

Even though Frank was sure she probably didn’t want him to, he joined her. The roof of the hotel was their favourite sparring place, and probably Ernest’s as well as he insisted it was the least disruptive to the guests. It was one of Frank’s favourite places in general since it had the most beautiful view of the city—especially at night when all of the buildings were illuminated by dim lights and the night sky was filled with stars.

After a long, heavy silence, Kit half-asked, half-stated, “So you know…?”  

Frank’s brow furrowed. “About you and my brother? Yeah.” 

“I had thought that since his entire existence is a secret, he’d be better at keeping one,” she teased with a twitch of a smile in the corners of her mouth. 

“When he’s this happy? Absolutely not,” chuckled Frank. “You are all he ever talks about besides books and the Dewey Decimal System. I guess I just figured that since you were hanging around here a lot more that you two were in some kind of relationship now…” Frank stopped. “Are you in some kind of relationship?”  

Kit frowned. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” 

“Kit, my brother adores you. He would do anything for you—even die for you or follow you into hell if you asked. That level of devotion knows no bounds. I have no doubt that you are the person my brother loves the most in the world, and he is the person I love the most so I…”

“You’re worried about him,” she finished with a sigh. “And you should be.” 

“I wouldn’t say…” 

“You know about me and Olaf…?” she interrupted again, and Frank tilted his head. 

“Well, yeah. Everybody knows about that.” 

“Then you know I’m no good for your brother and that he deserves someone so much better.” 

“Maybe that’s true,” Frank conceded. “But he doesn’t want anyone else.” Frank sighed. “Look, we’ve all done things that we’re not proud of—I know I have so I’m in no position to judge you or anybody else. The way I see it, there are very few genuinely good people in this world, but Dewey is one of them and he deserves to be happy. And Kit..." he paused—meeting her eyes. "You have made my brother happier than I have ever seen him and as far as I’m concerned that makes you good enough.” 

this is for @asouefanworkevent day 1: olaf's mansion!

Read on AO3

The haunted house at the end of the lane has caught Sybil’s eye for years, and this Halloween will be the night she finally goes. 

“You’re crazy,” her friend Edwin told her as they skipped away from yet another porch, carrying their haul — two king-size candy bars, Mr. Haines was always generous. “You know, I heard the guy who lived there died decades ago. The place has been abandoned forever.”

“I mean, it certainly looks abandoned,” Sybil had said.

“I don’t know about you, but I heard that he eats kids. Snatches them up and roasts them alive,” her other friend Walter said. Walter had already gone and eaten half of his bucket of candy, Sybil noticed; he was always impatient that way.

“Yeah!” said Edwin. “And if you show up on his doorstep, he’ll take you and cook you too!”

Sybil groaned. “Come on, people. Just because his house looks really old and a bit spooky, it doesn’t mean he’s a… child cannibal? And anyway, do none of you remember that story about the bear siblings on Halloween?”

Walter frowned. “What story?”

“That picture book! The two little bear siblings hear about their creepy neighbor who might be a witch, but then they go to her house on Halloween and she gives them caramel apples! It’s all a lesson for not judging based on appearances or something— did none of you learn anything from that?”

Edwin stopped walking and frowned at her. “I’ve never read that book in my life. And anyway, are you trying to tell me you want to go to that creepy house because he might give you a caramel apple?”

“Either he eats you or you get a caramel apple,” Walter piped up. “Pretty good deal.”

“The caramel apple isn’t important! And he’s not going to eat anyone!”

“In any case…” Edwin popped a piece of chocolate in his mouth. “If you really want to go, we might as well go with you. I can do karate! If he tries to eat you, I can punch him!”

“Or he’ll just be happy that now he has three whole kids to eat instead of one,” said Walter, looking at the sidewalk.

“Shut up, I’m trying to be supportive.”

“Sorry!”

-

Edwin glanced at the front porch steps, leading up to the door of the haunted house at the end of the lane. “I feel like if I step on these, they’re going to cave in.”

Sybil looked down at him, already atop the stairs. “Just be careful! It should be fine!”

“Yeah, come on!” Walter shouted, “We gotta get going!”

Edwin gulped and took a step. The wood beneath him creaked loudly, as if on cue.

“You know what? I’ll just stay down here.”

“Well, sucks for you. You’re not going to get any candy down there.” Walter went to ring the doorbell, but before he could, Sybil tapped him on the shoulder. 

“I think he left some outside.”

She was right. On a chair, in front of the door, was a bowl filled with—

“Are those cigarettes?”

“Maybe they’re candy cigarettes. He’s probably just trying to be funny.” Sybil reached a hand in and pulled one out, examining it. “Nope, they’re real.”

From his position at the bottom of the stairs, Edwin couldn’t see much, but even he could see the piece of paper stuck onto the chair legs. “Hey, guys? I think he left a note.”

Sybil looked down. “Oh, I guess he did.”

In scrawling, half-illegible handwriting, this is what the note read:

TAKE ONLY ONE PLZ! YOU SKWIRTS SHULD BE LUCKY TOO GET TREATS FRUM ME. THESE ARENT CHEEP!

Next to the note was a lighter.

“What on earth—”

“Oh well.” Sybil sighed. “Sorry, guys. I guess no treats from here, then.”