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sungam-supo · 1 month

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Oh I am rattled today.

Sorry I need to vent a little. I'd appreciate if somebody can tell me if this is whack, or that I'm just being a fool.

tw: suicide mention

So back in february before I went on hiatus, I messaged some people who don't check tumblr about where I was gonna be. Gave my reasons (health scare, depression, etc), then dippped. When I came back a week ago, pretty much everyone was chill- except one person.

To keep it short, they never responded to my message, meaning that they weren't happy with me doing what I had to do. At first I felt guilty, especially since this person seems to be socially dependant on me. I'm pretty sure I'm the only online friend they have. And upon looking into their activity elsewhere, it was radio silence. I was worried that they might of done something drastic. They tried to take their life last year, and held it over both mine and others heads for months. We didn't even know they attempted until they told us long after the fact. Like, they would often vent about how we had hurt them, yet never specified what they meant by that. Don't get me wrong, I'm beyond sorry that they went through that. But upon reflection it did feel like they were blaming others for it.

So here I was, worried that they had done something to themselves again, until I check one of their profiles to see that they've been active in the past week, around about when I came back. Did they do this on purpose? To mess with me? I've had so much anxiety around opening discord because of this one person alone. Upon reflection, I think I figured out why. It goes beyond simply not being compatible as friends. I always feel drained after talking with them. Yet whenever I try to communicate an issue, they get upset and as a result, we get nowhere. Rinse and repeat. The main thing that has held me back from walking away for good, is the fear that they'll hurt themselves and it will be my fault (had trauma of that happening with another person years ago).

They once told me that if I never wanted to speak with them again and cut ties, that I owe them an explanation. But you know what? I don't think I do. Last time I tried to do that, I got roped back into staying. That is just straight up manipulation, even if they never intended to come off that way.

I'm just going to block and walk away. I'm just so tired. I know this is all my fault. At least I can walk away on my own terms this time.

#will delete later most likely #just needed to let this one out #some friends will know what this is about #I'm just so tired of people rn #but I needed to do this

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thelastunison · 2 years

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Alright, so I’m watching Jessie Gender’s video on MW’s (shortening his name down to initials so it doesn’t show up in search results) transphobic “documentary” and have reached this part of the video,- The one where she shows an exempt from the book he released alongside his film:

And just....I don’t even know what to say. The fact someone who spews such vicious rhetoric so openly has a large following,- implying there’s a lot of people that support and align themselves with his worldview-, is genuinely terrifying. Just look at those last two sentences by themselves; This guy’s a fascist through and through and it fucking shows.

#transphobia #fascism #will delete later most likely #also specifically because of those last two sentences possibly #neo-nazism #as well? the degenerate reign of terror thing reminds me heavily of nazi rhetoric

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bixels · 4 months

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Jesus man, relax.

#this was in response to me saying “lunar new year” on the rarity art #personal #delete later #what in insane nonproblem to get this angry about #i asked my parents (taiwanese immigrants) about this and they said we use either but prefer lunar new year #because it's inclusive to koreans and vietnamese people who celebrate on the same day #lunar new year is an umbrella term same as “happy holidays.” this person is basically getting mad i said happy holidays instead of #merry christmas.#my family and i identify more as taiwanese than chinese so. we're not gonna say chinese new year much anyways #i sent this to my mom btw and she replied with basically “die mad i guess.” love you ma #this literally doesn't matter anyways i could have said “chinese new year” to caption that post and it wouldn't have mattered #the only reason i didn't is because i plan on drawing another art including carol (coco pommel) who's korean and celebrates the same day #like. most people in china/taiwan don't care they just say “happy new year” cuz it's the fuckin new year. someone saying lunar new year is #not erasure it's not flattening asian identities into a monolith. it's just an umbrella term.#anyways happy lunar new year happy chinese new year happy tet happy spring festival happy seollal #like i cannot stress enough to you guys that these holidays are on the exact same day and celebrate basically the same exact thing.#this is not an issue.

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chiricat · 1 month

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assorted wips again

1. anchan space buns!!

2. emo arisato twins + ryomina and akiham

3. mzen x p3

4. suzalulu sketch dump

5. suzalulu + souyo (eng voice actor joke)

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3-aem · 3 months

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help my cat maybe!

okay I was told to just do this even though i hate it.

but as some of you know i lost my job a while back and it happened at the same time that my cat began semi-frequent vomitting like once every other week to multiple times a week. he appears fine otherwise but it has continued on for the last few months and at this point I don’t think i can continue pretending like he is alright.

the bill for a proper scan and diagnosis is around 780 total which is sadly not affordable.

If it is possible kofi donations would be greatly appreciated so I can bring him in for an ultrasound and blood tests 🙏 the lnk is in my pinned

#i hate this i hate it so much #ive always been like dont get a pet if u can’t financially support them but it was also like not a forseen thing #it was literally woke up one morning to find out like 30% of the company was to be terminated #thats an exaggeration but it was a lot of ppl #deleting this later #i know i love talking about the most inane aspects of my life but this is like bigger shit which i absolutely despise #u guys are allowed to know i wear mismatched socks all the time bc theyre just socks #but not that im jobless #but a quick update on that #*stares into the camera with a forced smile and then leaves*

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sayurinn · 2 months

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A couple silly/kinda suggestive Avpol doodles.. using them as an excuse to practice anatomy LOL pls enjoy these Avpol aprilers!!!

Avdol save me tbh.

#avpolapril2024 #cw suggestive #avpol #mohammed avdol #jean pierre polnareff #YAYYYY #this is the most suggestive thing I have ever posted to the public im a bit embarassed MY DIGITAL FOOTPRINT. well anyways #also they are just making out in the second pic idk if it looks like that tho I’m bad at drawing kissing😭#i lowkey might delete this later LOL #anyways GOODNIGHT!!!#my fanart :3

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mattodore · 4 months

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theo’s bedroom is slowly coming together

#river dipping #theodore doe #echthroi #ts4 #ts4 edit #after the save broke yesterday morning for the fourth! time i finally pulled up mod manager and started looking through the hundreds of #conflicts i apparently had and also deleted well over 500+ duplicates... my mods folder is SO rancid i'm sure i missed some conflicts #bc see those dark blue pillows on theo's bed? those are actually white :) but for some reason when i move the pillows near the wall they #change color depending on the time of day... it's not just those pillows some other objects do it too... just closing my eyes at it <3 #the bed and desk are where theo spends most of his time so i spent forever on them. his bed needed to be overwhelmed by stuff #there are... ten pillows i believe two large covers a sheet and a blanket. theo kind of just... burrows into the center and hides.#bunny boy behavior........ and yeah those are matthias's gloves on theo's desk <3 #i have to recolor the stuff on theo's walls later. i imagine his walls are mostly empty and it's just the floors in his apt. that're messy #but i wanted sticky notes to help him remember things and that back wall is going to have matthias's art and love letters #<- which theo definitely takes down and hides whenever matthias actually comes over lmaoooo #also i finally moved all of the pins from theo and matthias's boards over to @theodoredoe (mattodore was taken 😞)#i wanted a place just for my oc boards and i also wanted to be able to add sections to each oc's boards so! new acc!#yk how i mentioned theo's board looking so cluttered? yeah so. figured out it's bc over half of his board is just quotes #i made a section and threw all the 200+ quotes in there and will slowly put some of them in his main board #his board just looks so much better now like i'm so happy about it 🥰 it was definitely worth the time #OH ALSO!!!! IF ANYONE HAS SOME DEAD PLANT CC PLEASEEEE SEND IT MY WAY!!!!#theo really loves just. ripping plants and flowers out of the ground and taking them home to put in little pots but. he always kills them #jsknndkhj so i need dead plants!! limp!! DEAD!!!!#but i seriously can't find any #anyway... that's my build update <3 fr not much has happened bc i've had to start over four :) separate :) times :) but it's getting there.#i miss mattodore tho...... gkhjndfkhjn so i might take a break and get some poses and an edit going soon

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thelaurenshippen · 7 months

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ah yes, the sweet sting of rejection from a billion dollar corporation who believes that "action stories don't appeal to romance audiences", welcome back my old familiar friend

#personal #lauren writes things #this was the EXACT problem I ran into with my gay outlaw story #and why I was just like FINE IT WON'T BE SCRIPTED IT'LL BE A BOOK #(and I mean who knows if it'll sell as a book)#(but it was NOT selling as a podcast)#how do I tell these companies that there's a whole website of people who love both action and romance #how do I explain that these people pull ships from the barest two second looks in action movies “aimed at men”#it's the conflation of romance = ladies and action = men for me #that's what really makes me roll my eyes #companies being like 'sorry lauren we just don't think people really into romance are into action'#HI I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE YOU'RE TALKING TO ME #my favorite movie is mad max and most of what I read is romance #I play violent action video games and I have a pathological need to ship #we exist #and we are legion #ANYWAY #might delete later #lauren says things

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volcaberg · 5 months

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Some doodles from my citrus canvasTM.... with various degrees of quality bc I've made them over the past few months.....

#yes there is a citrus canvas. no i am not haring more #ninjago #lego ninjago #citrusshipping #citrus #my art #francis wancis art #morro wu #echo zane #echo julien #morro ninjago #echo ninjago #anyway #will most likely delete later

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pencilscratchins · 2 years

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i know i never really left this hellsite, i just started working another zine so i couldn’t post as much but returning to tumblr… feels a bit like i’m coming home with lipstick on my collar. i’m sorry. twitter means nothing to me. please we can make this work

#like i never actually left #i just haven’t had finished art to post recently #BUT SOON #SOON I HAVE A BIG PROJECT IM EXCITED ABOUT #my patrons have seen most of it already 👁👁#not art #shut up rebecca #delete later #i will miss the ability to post my true idiot thoughts on twitter #but nobody gets me like you all #this hellsite birthed me #and this hellsite will one day kill ms

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newwavesylviaplath · 2 months

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evans characters as lana songs 💋

not camryn's normal content but whatever this has been on my mind 🙏🙏 just so we're clear:

tate- i want you boy, pretty when you cry

kit- let the light in, tomorrow never came, queen of the gas station

kyle- (pre death) driving in cars with boys, video games, black beauty

jimmy- national anthem, blue jeans, yayo, how to disappear

james- art deco, million dollar man, and money, power, glory

epm & rory monahan: idk i haven't watched roanoke in like a year

kai: ultraviolence, cult leader (duh), religion, american (RAHH 🦅 🇺🇸)

gallant: PEPPERS LMFAOO

austin sommers: groupie love, serene queen, your girl, fishtail

peter maximoff: high by the beach, white dress (cuz she talks real fast in that one)

colin zabel: playing dangerous, thunder, pretty much all of blue banisters

argue with the wall. (actually dont instead interact with me im so bored 💀)

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worldsewage · 3 months

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I don’t post art very often, and my following isn’t very big, but despite this I’ve gotten a few comments regarding the weight (?) of a few characters, and that I’m promoting obesity and fatness. This very strange, I did not want people to think I would be drawing exclusively skinny characters, thought this was clear with my first post…

I will make them fatter. <— fat promotion, let’s get this out of the way. My art my rules.

Also: AI artists + Transphobes aren’t welcome… you will get blocked… what makes you think I would like compliments from an AI artists… they mean nothing to me…. I crush you beneath my thumb…

#will probably delete later #most of my followers are VERY KIND!!!#VERY AWESOME!!!#BUT IVE GOTTEN ONE TOO MANY COMMENTS LIKE THIS!#mutuals im glad you are all very normal.

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turtleblogatlast · 2 months

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Thinking about the Don Suave scene and what it means in terms of LGBTQ+ representation because my brain does nothing if not torment me with random topics to ramble about on the regular.

Anyway, I just wanted to ramble about why I like the scene but to get it out of the way - the scene can very easily be interpreted in so many different ways, and all of them are valid. I personally see it as Leo having at least some attraction to a man. And the following is an explanation of my own interpretation and thoughts on it and what it means especially for Leo’s portrayal in the grand scheme of things.

Long-winded interpretation under the cut!

Now, to start with, it’s important to me that in the scene Leo looks at Don Suave in the very beginning and then for the entirety of the rest of the time the man is on screen, Leo’s eyes are closed. Yet, in the end, he is still visibly enamored with Don Suave, happily cuddling up to him as he’s being carried away.

You can very easily interpret this as Leo being spellbound and that’s honestly super valid and I believe he likely was at least somewhat in the beginning, but considering how fast he looked away and how he never looked again, I personally think it makes more sense to read it as Leo just finding the man attractive, at least somewhat. (For the record, I personally headcanon Rise Leo as bisexual with a heavy preference for men, but I want to be blunt when I say that any interpretation is valid. Literally any. Ace, pan, gay, bi, none of the above or a mixture of something new literally all of it is more than okay and fair. Hell you could even interpret this entire scene as more romantic attraction than physical and it would still work. Anything goes!! Don’t bother people, guys, really.)

The main reason I take this scene to be at the very least LGBTQ+ adjacent isn’t just because of how it’s portrayed, but because of who Leonardo is. Not in terms of Rise of the TMNT, but in terms of the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles™️ franchise.

Leo’s a character who, while changing with each iteration, has still at his core been around for decades upon decades as “the blue one”. One fourth of the team. He’s the one most are going to look at as the Leader, and oftentimes he is the one closest to having the title of Main Character. Not to say the others aren’t just as important, but Leo’s presence in the A plots of basically all TMNT media is often something very main character-esque.

And that’s very, very important to note. Here we have a Main Character of a prolific and decades long-running franchise distributed by a children’s television network. You can play around with his and his brothers’ characters all you like, but there is always going to be challenges to dodge around, especially since this was still in 2018-2019.

For example, you can play around with their designs so long as they’re color coded turtles, but their sexualities? Now that’s tricky.

“But what about Hypno and Warren?” Not main characters and also they’re Rise originals. They have a lot more room to play around with than a character like Leo does. But even talking about main characters in the franchise, you could arguably have an easier time playing around with Donnie or Mikey’s sexualities than Leo or even Raph, as (unfortunately) the former two tend to get more B plots, so they’d likely have had a little more leeway (still not a lot though.)

So, where does this leave us?

It leaves us in a place where outright stating and/or showing undeniable proof of Leo’s attraction to men is very, very difficult. So, workarounds!

Workarounds like the entire Don Suave situation.

To be honest, as left up to interpretation and lowkey and deniable as it is, this whole scene means a lot to me because of who Leo is as a character. It’s just nice when we get so see even the bare bones of representation with characters that have been such a large part of pop culture for decades, y’know? Even if more would be so much nicer, this is better than I thought we’d ever get for these boys.

And, again, literally nothing I’ve said is the only way to interpret it, I’m more than happy when people interpret media on their own honestly, it’s just something I’ve been thinking of lately and I was wondering if others felt the same way.

Whatever you think when you interpret this scene or Rise Leo as a whole, I just thought this would be interesting to think about, even if it was ramble-y, haha.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt leo #rise leo #rise don suave #rottmnt don suave #I lied I’m back to ramble because I’m just #so bad at keeping my mouth shut #or uh #not typing word vomit #anyway- yeah this is my personal interpretation #I believe Leo was legitimately mesmerized by Don Suave’s powers…in the beginning #but even the series’ creator says it was ‘at least PART of what was going on with Leo’ so #idk it’s something that’s been on my mind and I was wondering if anyone else felt the same??#may delete this later who knowssss #pleaaaase feel free to disagree I just like to talk lol #but yeah sometimes I look around at how much media has LGBTQ+ rep in it now and it honestly makes me emotional??#(we always always ALWAYS could use more but)#we did not have even a crumb of this as kids #but also like most of that rep is new properties #and I just was thinking about what that could mean #idk man idk #once again please don’t take this as facts it is VERY MUCH NOT #man I was looking around for good images to use and found jack all #anyway tho did you know Donnie often has bi colors around him and Leo is often dressed in the colors of the trans flag-#okay anyway back to the caves I go this comic won’t draw itself #I gotta spray myself with water any time I go to type long winded essays because they’re not great for the mental health fr

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witchstone · 1 year

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can i not even be a part of a whatsapp group about our local nature conservancy without that jumped up wannabe estate group in our area punting their shit

#they seem to be under the impression that they can form a private security company with the word estate in ot and that makes the area #an....estate #and that because 51% of residents signed up they can start putting signs up and demanding that all other residents must acquiesce #to their rules. um. no?#no offence but if you want to live in an estate you'd...live in an estate #also c'mon guys it's because the comrades are coming up #i am...58% reading too much into this but also it's been four years and i'm just fucking annoyed about it. go away. get out of my face #stop acting like other residents are deliberately going out of their way to sabotage your project when in reality most people are fine #not me though! i'm going to deliberately phone the municipality about their newest batch of signs <3 #apologies for the suburbia blogging; can you tell i hate it here?#will delete later

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obsob · 11 months

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mmgngm i was all excited tellin my mum abt me wanting to start bookbinding n she was just like well. what about your portfolio. are u sending it to people? youve been working on it for ages. yes i know!!!!!! im slow and disabled!!!! and want hobbies!!!!! bites you!!!!!!!!!!!

#barks #i will deleted this later my brain jus has bees in it #bites bites bites maims #n then shes like :( why do u feel pressure to work all the time n feel guilty when u dont :( HMMM #anyway. im gna start bookbinding fanfic KSJJEJEODJ #i have. most of the materials already which is nice i will need paper and a guillotine n card but i got everything else!#i'll probably do smth short first n then...progress #i might also buy a new printer bc good lird #our printer is maybe 7 years old n buying new ink on god is more expensive than buying a New printer. incredible stuff

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stevebabey · 4 months

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i love u x reader fics and i will never abandon u but dear god [shivers] the steve harrington x reader tag is shit on a level of epic proportions like sweet jesus

#except for u luveline #it’s just. daddy kink. cream pie. taylor swift inspired fic that has the most ooc steve ever #just 30+ yr olds writing au ooc smut over and over #about the like 19 yr old character #bleh. bleh bleh bleh #i’m on my hater game today #i see why the ppl who don’t like x reader avoid that shit like the plague #someone was complaining about the SAME thing as me in that tag. and had tagged it as x reader w a bunch of different characters #why #like dear fucking god ur so close to having two brain cells to rub together #and yet so far #ruby.txt #delete later

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